Jade POV
I'm still pissed because of my mom's reaction after she found out about me and Cat. That's exactly why I was delaying as much as possible the moment I would have had to tell her about us. My parents never supported any of my life choices. It was the same when I told them I wanted to attend Hollywood Arts. They told me that becoming an actress or a singer or a director here in LA was just a child's dream and that one in a million was able to achieve that dream. But I ignored them cause those are my passions and I'll work hard to make them come true. And I knew they wouldn't understand me now either for dating a girl.
Cat and I are now at a Diner and after we had a good lunch I bought her some of their cheesecake that she is enjoying very much. She is at her third slice already and she makes me take a bite of it feeding me with her fork from time to time making cute faces like she is feeding a baby or saying funny things like 'Here it comes the airplane! Ciug ciug!'. I laugh or roll my eyes every time. I love Cat. She is perfect to take my mind off things and make me laugh with how light hearted she is even during tense situations. She asked me if I wanted to talk about my mom but I said no. So she is now trying to distract me talking about pretty much everything that comes up to her mind.
I'm just worried my mom will be a pain in the ass for our relationship... If she will I may have to move to my dad's. My brother lives with him and his new bimbo of a wife. Only thing is, if my mom will be really that much against my relationship with Cat, she will certainly tell my dad too. And chances are my dad will be even more against me having a lesbian relationship. I know him too well...
Right now though I'm noticing that while Cat is finishing her third slice of cheesecake she suddenly stopped her rambling about 'that one time his brother almost got hit by a truck after chasing a kitten he had found in the street' and that she is now looking weird... Like very pale.
"Babe are you okay? I think you ate too much of that cake" I tell her
She opens her mouth and suddenly she coughs and covers it with her hand. I start to look at her worried
"Cat what's wrong?" I ask her concerned.
She looks behind me and I follow her gaze. She is looking at the bathroom door before she practically sprint in that direction almost running.
"Baby! What the...?" I ask her standing up and following her.
She throws the women bathroom door open and immediately enters a stall falling on her knees and starting to throw up.
"Cat! Oh my gosh!" I tell her as I kneel next to her pulling her red hair away from her face and holding her forehead as she continues to vomit in the toilet
She coughs several times as she finishes vomiting practically everything she had eaten. I can feel her forehead cold and sweating. I don't know what happened to her. Is she sick? She was good this morning... And even just few moments ago.
I help her standing up and she looks at me. She is still so pale and she is shaking..
"Sorry... I... felt sick..." she tells me
"Don't worry babe... What happened, was it something you ate?" I ask her flushing the toilet and leading her out of the stall and to one of the sinks
She shakes her head "I don't... I don't think so"
"Ok... Well it's fine really" I tell her.
I help her washing her face and her mouth "Feeling better kitty?" I ask her
She takes a long breath and nods "Yeah... Just a little headache but I'm okay now. Sorry Jade. I think it was because I took my special vitamins before eating and I should do the opposite otherwise well... This might happen..." she says pointing at the stall where she threw up "It's not the first time don't worry" she says smiling at me.
I look at her confused "Special vitamins? You mean like those your brother takes? Like those you used to take when I met you?"
"Yeah. Don't worry I'm fine now, I just have to remember that I need to take them after I already ate something. Not before" she tells me
"I do worry Cat. I'm your girlfriend. What are those vitamins? Why do you take them?" I ask her. Knowing her brother they must be for something serious. I start to feel like shit. And I was supposed to be her best friend? In all these years I never took interest in what these 'vitamins' she was taken were for... How could I be so dumb? What if there's something wrong with my babygirl? Oh my God I hope not. Cat's smile is one of the things I live for... Especially now that we are together. I would never forgive myself if I wouldn't have been able to see her smile again. I have to know what's wrong with her.
"Oh hmm... You know hmm... Just vitamins" she says. I notice Cat is keeping an hand in her pocket as she speaks and understand she has them with her right now and doesn't want me to find out.
I grab her hand and force her to show them to me "No! Jade! No! mind your own business!" she tells me trying to push me away and now I can legitimately see something is wrong... Cat never acted like that especially to me. I'm sorry but I just have to know. I pull her hand out of her pocket and a little plastic bottle falls on the floor with pills spilling all over the place.
"Look what you did! Jade! I told you to mind your own business!" she tells me kneeling down immediately to grab them.
But I'm faster. I grab the bottle and look at what it's written on it.
Trazodone
uses:
Trazodone has the following medical uses:
Cure unipolar depression, with or without anxiety, anxiety disorder, insomnia and bipolar behaviors
Common side-effects include dry mouth, feeling faint, vomiting, and headache. More serious side effects may include mania, hyperactivity and in some cases irregular heart rate, memory loss and suicide tendencies
I can't believe it... This is serious. Why she never told me she was on this kind of meds?
"I-I-I didn't want you to find out... Not yet... Not like this... do... do you think I'm crazy?" she asks me still shaking and on the verge of tears.
I hug her immediately. She stays still in my embrace and continues to cry and shake as I caress her shoulders
"Of course not!" I tell her "Cat, I love you... you're the most amazing person I've ever met I would never think you're crazy"
She sobs and hugs me back burying her head in my hair. I start humming in her ear to make her calm down like when she was little and we had a sleepovers and she would have had a nightmare.
At some point a woman comes in the bath and looks at us confused. She seems about to ask something but I glare at her so hard she doesn't say anything and just washes her hands and goes away.
When I feel Cat is more calm I pull away from her a little but still holding her close to me
"Cat these are... anti-depressant meds. From how much time do you take them?" I ask her
She wipes a few tears rubbing her eyes as she looks down "Ever since I was little... Like very little... I take them because I don't want to th... think about..." she looks at some place distant from me.
I can see something in her eyes... Like a flashback playing behind them before a look of terror that legitimately scares even me appears on her face. She buries her face in my hair again and starts crying so hard squeezing me in her embrace I can barely breath
"Ellie please! Don't leave me! I'm so sorry I didn't do anything! I'm so sorry!" she starts to scream
I shake her lightly from her shoulders "Cat look at me! Cat it's me Jade! It's okay! You're fine! We're safe! "
She looks at me wide eyed and tries to pull free from me "No! Let me go! Jade we have to help her! Please help her! It's all my fault!" she cries
I don't know what to do. She looks so scared that she is scaring me too. So I kiss her... I try to bring her back to reality with my love for her hoping it will work. Her tears making my face wet too and I feel her lips trembling before she start to relax a little but continues to whimper against my mouth.
After a bit she calms down enough for me to tell her "Take a deep breath baby"
She nods and does as I say
"Good. Now exhale" I tell her and she does. I make her take several other breaths before she looks almost back to normal. I help her wash her face and then I take her in my arms once again hugging her tightly.
I let her go to grab the pills on the bathroom floor and I put the pills that fell from it back in the little bottle and then in my purse.
She looks at me doing that but says nothing. She looks lost and dead inside... I would've never thought I would see Cat Valentine of all people looking like this.
"Cat..." I try but she immediately says
"Can you take me home? I don't feel too well... You can stay with me if you want"
"Sure kitty. Let's go" I tell her and I see her smile a little.
I release a breath of relief while she tells me "Thank you Jade"
"Of course beautiful " I tell her caressing her face which makes her smile again even though she is still looking down.
I take her hand as we leave the bath and I pay for our lunch asking for a glass of water that I make Cat drink cause I see she is still shaken up, before we leave the diner and go to my car.
The travel to her house is silent. Sometimes I look at her to see if she is okay. She looks out of the window of the passenger seat with a lost expression.
"How could I do nothing?... Why I didn't...?" I hear her whisper and sob a little
"Cat are you...?" I try to ask her, worried she will have another crisis
"I'm okay... I... just need to go home right now" Cat says looking at me.
I nod. As we arrive and I park Cat tells me "Will you stay with me Jadey? Will you stay? Please I need you to stay! Please I..." she is starting to freak out again
"Of course kitty! I told you I will stay, I'm right here see?" I tell her grabbing her face with both hands.
She nods and leans in to kiss me briefly on the lips.
We get out of my car and we go to her house. As we enter we find her mom watching TV on the couch.
"Hey baby! You're back!" she says looking at us. Then her smile fades as she sees the emotionless look on her daughter's face.
She gets up "What happened? Did something happened to her?" she asks me
I look at Cat for a moment then at her mom "She..." but Cat cuts me off
"I'm okay... I just feel a bit sick, can Jade and I go to my room? I just need to rest a little bit" Cat says
Her mom leans on her grabbing her shoulders to look at her better. Cat smiles but it's a sad smile. She is still a little shaky.
"Sure baby, but first... Did you take your pills?" she asks her.
Cat looks down "I did but... I forgot I needed to eat something before, and then ate too much after I took them and so I... felt sick and had to threw up"
"It's OK Cat. Don't worry. I'll make you a soup and bring it to your room" her mom says
"Thanks mom" she says hugging her briefly.
She hugs her back "Make sure she is okay" her mother tells me after she lets her go.
"Of course" I say and take Cat's hand.
Cat brings it to her mouth and kiss my hand before leading me to her room.
She plops on her bed kicking off her shoes and immediately picking Mr. Purple and another stuffed giraffe (I think she calls it Mr. Long neck) and also a pink one and she starts squeezing all three of them at her.
I smile. Only now I realize that all of these toys must help her coping with her depression like a sort of anti-stress to not think about some serious traumatic shit she must have gone through when she was really little. So I decide to keep try to distract her
"Gonna tell your little giraffe family about last night?" I smirk at her
She laughs "Of course not Jadey!" she lowers her voice "Mr. Purple is still too young to know about it!"
I chuckle "Yeah, I guess you're right"
"But it was wonderful... I'm so sorry I ruined everything this morning with your mom finding me in my underwear in your kitchen... And then at the diner..." she starts looking away from me and I can see she is about to think about whatever was freaking her out before, so I immediately change subject
"You didn't ruin anything Cat. My mom has always been a grunch. She will come around eventually. And if she doesn't I'll put some sense into her." I pop my knuckles as I say that with an evil grin
"You're not serious... Right?" Cat asks me
I shrug and sit next to her on the bed "Sometimes she really pisses me off you know?"
"Just give her some time... She loves you" Cat tells me looking at me with a smile
"Meh... If you say so" I tell her uncertain
"I do say so... I just did" Cat tells me and kisses my cheek. I wrap an arm around her and she rests her head on my chest
After a bit her mom enters the room with a tray with the soup for Cat
"Here you go baby. Careful. It's very hot!" her mom says placing the tray on her legs.
Cat thanks her while I say "Then this soup and your daughter have something in common Mrs. Valentine" I smirk at Cat who blushes at me and giggles
Mrs. Valentine pretends to glare at me but then rolls her eyes shaking her head and I can see she is smiling too.
"I'll be downstairs" she says before leaving the room.
I turn on the TV and have small talk with Cat while she eats to keep her distracted and once she finishes the soup I place the tray on her desk. Then I help her undressing and to put a pajamas on before she gets under her covers. I draw the curtains of her room and then lay with her though I don't get under the covers cause I'm still fully dressed.
"Jade?" Cat whispers to me after a bit
"Yes?" I ask
"You're the best girlfriend ever... I'll never know how Beck wasn't able to realize it but I'm forever grateful that he didn't... Cause now I get to have you all for myself... Does this make me selfish?" Cat tells me
I smile "Of course not kitty. Between me and Beck things were not working. Maybe from the start. You and me however, were always meant to be" I say
"Awww! Have you heard how sweet my Jadey is Mr. Purple?" Cat asks with her sweet voice to her stuffed giraffe and then giggles saying "I know!"
I roll my eyes and ask her "What did 'Mr. Purple' tell you?"
"He told me you're very attractive too!" Cat replies
I smirk "Well tell Mr. Purple I say thank you but that I know a very cute redheaded girl that is even more attractive" I say caressing her long red hair.
Cat looks at me furrowing her eyebrows "And who is that supposed to be? Is she in our school? Do I know her?"
I laugh "You know her, yes... Her name is Cat Valentine"
"Do you know another Cat Valentine?" she asks me
I groan "Really? Cat? It's you! I was talking about you!"
Cat giggles "I know stupid... I just wanted to hear you say it"
"Oh really? Well for that and for calling me stupid you're going to be attacked by the tickle monster!" I tell her before starting to tickle her.
She laughs and giggles turning in her bed as she throws her stuffed giraffe at me "Protect me Mr. Purple!"
But I continue to tickle her for another bit. After it isn't long before she falls asleep in my arms.
I kiss her forehead and then turn off the TV standing up to leave her room. I look at her one more time smiling before closing the door behind me. Now that the love of my life is good and safe and back to normal I need answers. And her mother must have them. As I get downstairs I realize to have just thought of Cat as the love of my life and realize that I never thought of Beck like that... Maybe I just realized she is the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with... Cause even while she was having that crisis it didn't seem like an effort for me to try to make her feel better. I did it cause I wanted to. I needed her to feel better like my own life depended on it. I never believed in marriage cause after what happened to my parents' one I learned that nothing lasts forever. But now when I think of Cat, I can't help but feel like one day I want her to be my wife and I want to be hers... There's no one else more perfect for me than her. I'm sure about it: I want to be with Cat Valentine. Forever.
But right now I need to know what's wrong with her. So that I can help her.
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