Notes:

It's been one of those chapters... Sometimes the decision between posting a chapter quickly and working on it for a while longer is quite a struggle. Usually, I decide on delaying rather than posting. And usually, the result is even longer chapters, which hopefully make up for the longer wait.

We are truly leaving canon and Season 8 behind us now. And a small reminder (the last one you'll get): This is a Jorah/Daenerys fic. If you don't like it, don't read. If you read, don't whinge, as the Hound would say.

Thank you very much to the reviewers. It's always a great delight reading them.


Dragonstone

"The Unsullied are only pulling dead people out from under the rubble," Jorah read aloud the message from Tyrion. "There are no more survivors."

It was a small miracle that there had been any survivors at all after what she had done to the Red Keep. If the fire hadn't killed them, the collapsing building should have. Daenerys closed her eyes. It was no use. There was no way back. She had to live with what she had done.

Jorah watched her and knew exactly where her thoughts had taken her. "Are you planning to rebuild the Red Keep?" he asked, trying to keep them focused elsewhere.

Daenerys sighed, aware of what he was doing and willing to go along. "I don't know yet." Harrenhal had never been fully rebuilt. Did she want to rule from King's Landing? At the moment there was nothing left to rule from. Rebuilding would take years. And rebuilding in winter wouldn't be prudent. Did she want to be reminded of what she had done every single day? A part of her thought she should, as a warning. But just thinking about King's Landing now made her sick to her stomach. If they ever uncovered the Iron Throne, she was thinking of having it thrown into the ocean by Drogon. Should she just stay on Dragonstone? Or chose somewhere else as her new seat of ruling? She felt safe on Dragonstone, but it was very isolated, not an ideal place to rule from.

Daenerys looked at the pile of messages on the table. Messages from all over the Six Kingdoms. Messages from houses pledging their allegiance, messages with marriage proposals, messages with suggestions for new people on the council. Daenerys was ignoring them all for now. For the moment, her priority was to contain the damage she had done herself. People were searching for loved ones. Many had fled the city altogether. Buildings close to the Keep had been damaged. And the snow hadn't let up. Even without her attack on King's Landing, the city had been ill prepared for winter. It seemed Cersei hadn't given it much thought. Food supplies were limited. People were dying from cold and lack of food. She turned her back towards Jorah, looking out the window.

"Daenerys," he said softly.

"Would you please leave me alone?"

Jorah sighed. "Of course, Khaleesi." He watched her with worry. She had become very distant over the last few days and had mostly kept to herself. No matter what Jorah did it didn't seem to make a difference. She refused to make any decisions regarding the future, be it marriage or the new council, dismissing it all as not important as long as King's Landing was still reeling from the attack. Admittedly, no one was forcing her hand at the moment. Everyone had their own problems to deal with and was glad for the respite. Everyone was looking towards Dragonstone, waiting to see what would happen next. Even Jorah had no idea what was really going on in her mind.


Jorah was in his room, writing messages, when someone knocked on his door. He went to open it and was surprised to find Daenerys there. He stepped aside so she could enter. Jorah offered her a chair, but she refused. She just stood there in the middle of his room, not saying anything. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Daenerys just nodded. She didn't move. She didn't talk. She just looked at him.

If she wouldn't talk, Jorah decided he would be blunt. He had given her space, hoping she would come to terms with what had happened on her own. But not pressing her on the matter hadn't gotten him anywhere the last few days. "I am worried about you."

"Don't be."

"You've been very quiet lately."

"I know."

Jorah was usually very good at reading her, but she had given him nothing to work with. "You know you can talk to me, whatever it might be."

"I know."

He sighed. "If it's about the message from Tyrion-"

Daenerys took his hands, stopping any further words. "I don't want to talk right now." And before Jorah could say anything else, she took a step towards him and pressed her lips against his. He didn't seem to object, but he didn't participate either. Daenerys pulled back to look at him. She saw confusion in his eyes, which was to be expected. Smiling at him, she gently trailed her fingers from his temple to his cheekbone. And then she kissed him again, letting him know that this was more than a simple thank you kiss.

Cautiously, Jorah started to return the kiss, but he kept it light, placing his hands loosely on her back, giving her the chance to pull away if she wanted to. But she didn't. Instead she put her hand behind his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. As much as Jorah wanted to enjoy this, he couldn't. His mind was in shambles. He broke away from her lips, but at the same time he tightened his hold on her, keeping her close, not wanting her to think he was rejecting her. "What are you doing?" Jorah asked softly.

"You said you still love me," she said, thinking it should be enough of an explanation and kissed him again.

Jorah gave in for a moment, but then pulled back again. "Daenerys," he said gently.

Since when was he so dense? She grinned slightly. "Do you really not know what this is?"

"Well," Jorah admitted with a coy smile, "I guess it's more the why than the what I am having slight problems with." Turning serious, he said, "Don't feel you owe me because I saved your life."

"I do owe you. So much. But that's not what this is about."

"Then what is it?"

"I simply want to do this."

Jorah moved a hand to her face, stroking her cheek. "You are hurting and lonely."

She gave him a tender smile. "Always looking out for me."

"Always. It's my job." Jorah looked at her intently, trying to figure out what her motive was. He didn't need her to love him. But if she hated him afterwards for taking advantage of her, that would be the worst for him. He wouldn't risk that, no matter how much he wanted to be with her. "Are you really sure this is what you want? I know you've hardly slept the last few days. You are tired and-"

"Don't patronize me. I know what I am doing."

"Are you?" Jorah challenged her.

She scrutinized him. Was he trying to provoke her? She sighed. It was more likely that he was trying to protect her. Daenerys had expected that he might have a hard time believing that she actually wanted him. "I am tired," she admitted calmly. "But that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. This didn't just occur to me tonight." Ever since the Battle of Winterfell her thoughts had drifted to Jorah again and again. She had prayed and begged all the gods she had ever heard of to not have him die. The thought that he could have been taken away from her forever had been unbearable. Even after Jorah had gotten better, the scenes from the battlefield, him falling to his knees, had haunted her in her sleep. Daenerys couldn't imagine her life without him. And she had realized that she finally had to ask herself why that was. There had never been a need to confront her feelings for him. It had been so simple with him. He was always there for her. She knew that Jorah would never leave her. "I came so close to losing you. It made me realize how much I need you, how important you are to me. In that moment on the battlefield, when you closed your eyes, I would have given anything to save you."

Like she had done for Drogo? "Don't make any more deals with dubious witches, promise me. I've had a longer and more fulfilled life than most people. There are a few regrets, but overall, it all led me to you. And serving you has been my redemption."

Not knowing what to say, Daenerys led him over to the bed. But when she started to take off her clothes, Jorah took her hands in his, stopping her.

"I don't want you to regret this. I am not leaving like Jon. I am content with how it is between us." Jorah did want her. But he was indeed content with their current relationship. After his betrayal, all he had hoped for was to gain back her trust. He was grateful that she thought of him as a friend again. He certainly wasn't opposed to becoming more than her friend and advisor. But his banishment had taught him to be content with what he already had.

"Maybe I am not content anymore with how it is between us. You are not a substitute for Jon. I want you." She freed one of her hands from his grasp and stroked his cheek. "I want to know what it feels like to be with the man who has protected me for years, encouraged me since the beginning, has loved me longer than anybody else. You don't expect me to be someone else, someone I am not. You love me the way I am."

"I do. But my love is not tied to any conditions. There's no need to rush this. I am not going anywhere."

Daenerys smiled at him. "Rushing? I'm not sure that's the word I would use. I am sorry if this is such a surprise to you. Trust me. I know what I am doing." She had thought about it very carefully for days now. But King's Landing had kept them all busy and allowing herself some happiness at such a time had felt inappropriate. Besides, Jorah's wounds hadn't completely healed. Certain movements still seemed to cause him pain. He tried to hide it from her, but wasn't always successful. "The only thing that is going to stop me is if you tell me you don't want me or if you are still in pain."

"That is not going to happen," he assured her.

"Then love me, Jorah."

"I do. Nothing will ever change that." He pulled her towards him, kissing her tenderly, leisurely, without any hurry or urgency. For the moment he was content to explore her lips with his own.

Daenerys let him do as he pleased, giving into his kiss, letting him lead, happy that he finally seemed to be a willing participant. For once she didn't want to be in charge. She wanted Jorah to take over. She just wanted to feel him. She wanted to forget. And his lips on hers made her forget. The only thought currently occupying her mind was that she could become addicted to his kisses. His lips were warm and soft, his movements were determined but not demanding. Warmth spread through her body. She felt safe and loved in his arms.

They stood there for a long time, just familiarizing themselves with each other's lips. When they eventually broke apart, Jorah proceeded to undo her dragon chain but had trouble with the clasp. Daenerys stilled his hands. She undid the clasp with ease and laid the chain over the edge of the bed. She took off her clothes until she was only wearing her undergarment. Instead of following suit, Jorah was just watching her. Daenerys looked at him bemused. She took a step towards him and helped him with his. When Jorah pulled his shirt over his head Daenerys examined his bandaged chest with a worried expression.

"It's healing well," Jorah assured her. "I just keep the bandage on to remind me that I have to be careful and to keep my clothes from chafing against the scar."

"Is that really all it is?"

"Yes." He started undoing the knot. "See for yourself."

Daenerys helped him take off the bandage. The wound had closed completely. Carefully she touched his skin, running her fingers parallel to the scar.

Jorah was extremely aware of her fingers touching his skin. His breathing accelerated.

"And the wound at your hip?" Daenerys asked, slowly trailing her hand lower until it rested at his hip, where he'd been cut deeply as well.

"How do you know about that?" Jorah asked, surprised that she knew the exact location.

"I cleaned your wounds."

"You did what?"

"With Missandei's help."

The wound was located so low on his hip that she would have only been able to see or clean it if he hadn't been wearing anything. "You saw me naked?" he asked. Jorah didn't really care. The revelation just caught him by surprise.

"Don't worry. You were partly covered by a blanket. Besides, I didn't pay attention. You almost died." Her look became distant. It hadn't been that long ago that Jorah had been lying in her arms, bleeding and unconscious, close to death. She pulled back her hands. "Maybe we shouldn't. I don't want to hurt you."

Jorah raised her chin. "Don't think about that." He took her hand and kissed it gently. "I'm fine."

When Daenerys looked into his eyes, a shiver ran down her spine. Besides love she saw desire there. Raw, fierce desire. The intensity of it made her forget to breathe for a moment. If she had ever doubted that he wanted her – and he had made quite an effort to discourage her since she had entered his quarters – those doubts disappeared when she saw the passion in his eyes. And it made her want him so much more.

Jorah leaned forward and kissed her again. This time he wasn't content with just her lips. He started to explore her mouth with his tongue, playing with hers, teasing her.

When they broke apart, breathing hard, Daenerys used the opportunity to move onto the bed, never breaking eye contact with him. Jorah quickly removed the last of his clothes and followed her. Daenerys undid the strings of her undergarment. But when she grabbed the cloth to pull it over her head, Jorah stopped her.

"Let me," he whispered and replaced her hands with his own. Jorah removed the last piece of her clothing. He did so very slowly, deliberately running his hands over her naked skin – over her thighs, her hips, her waist, her sides and slightly grazing her breasts – while taking the garment with him. In theory, he already knew what she looked like naked. But he had always averted his eyes quickly when she had stepped out of the fire unburnt. This was a completely different situation. He held her eyes for a long time, not yet daring to look at her body properly.

Daenerys had no such qualms. Totally unashamed she let her eyes roam over his body. She ran her fingers over his shoulder, over his chest and the greyscale scars, over the scar at his side and finally all the way down to the wound at his hip. His skin was marked by scars acquired in her service. It made her sad, but at the same time her heart swelled with gratitude, admiration and even pride.

Before she could explore any further, Jorah took her hand to stop her. He couldn't take much more of her touch. He wanted this to last. For him it was about much more than just the act of joining their bodies. It was about getting to know each other on a completely different level, and not just physically. It was about discovering an unknown part of her, a part that she had never revealed to him before. With one finger Jorah slowly trailed along a strand of her hair, trailing it between her breasts, following it with his eyes, eventually settling his hand on her waist. Jorah placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder, then on her neck, gradually working his way up to just below her ear. Then he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her close, skin touching skin. He claimed her lips in another kiss. Supporting her back, he guided her to lie down on the bed.

Finally, Daenerys thought. So far, Jorah had hardly touched her and her body was already on fire, yearning for more than just his kisses and rather chaste caress. She looked at him in wonder. He behaved as if he had all the time in the world. How could he be so slow when he had wanted her for years?

"Is something wrong?" Jorah asked, noticing her staring at him.

"No."

Looking into her eyes he saw trust, but also vulnerability. He could get lost in those eyes. And he wanted nothing more than to put some happiness there as well. "Tell me what you want."

"You."

She couldn't have said anything more beautiful to him. And her eyes conveyed the truth with which it was spoken.

Daenerys took his face between her hands. "Just you."


It was deep into the night. They lay under the furs, neither saying a word. Daenerys was nestled against his side, one leg thrown over his, fighting against her heavy eyelids.

Jorah had briefly wondered if she would stay with him for the night. But the way she clung to him left no doubt that she wasn't going anywhere. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yes."

He pulled the furs up higher anyway, making sure she was covered up to her neck. "Sleep."

"Not yet."

"You can't have gotten much sleep the last few nights."

As usual, Jorah was correct in his assumption. She'd had nightmares every single night since Rhaegal's and Missandei's death. And the attack on the Red Keep hadn't improved things. The last few nights she had only gone to bed when she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. But she didn't want this night to end.

Jorah pulled her even closer and placed a kiss on her hair. "Sleep. I'll be right here." He caressed her back, drawing patterns on her skin, trying to soothe her. It didn't take long until she fell asleep.


The next morning

Daenerys had lain awake for a while, just enjoying the closeness with him, his warm body against hers. She knew it was the last hours she would get to spend with him. She had considered waiting for a bit longer to tell him, but she knew if she didn't do it now, she wouldn't be able to do it at all. She felt Jorah stir. When he opened his eyes he looked slightly confused for a moment. But then he smiled at her.

At first, when Jorah woke, he was somewhat disoriented. The memories of the night before only came back slowly and thus the reason why he was not alone in bed. She looked so unbelievably sad, dashing his hopes that he could chase the sadness away, at least for a few more hours.

Daenerys observed him quietly for a while, running her fingers through his hair, over his beard, tracing his lips, committing his face to her memory. Eventually she kissed him tenderly. Jorah returned the kiss more than willingly. When they broke apart, she buried her face against his neck and took a deep breath. "You have to do something for me."

Jorah took her hand in his and kissed her fingers. "Anything."

"Go back to Bear Island. Save your house. Take a wife and have children with her," Daenerys said, unable to look at him.

"What?"

"You helped me win back Westeros. I will ask no more of you."

He moved them so he could look into her eyes. "I am sworn to you. I can't protect you from Bear Island. I can't advise you from there."

"I release you from your oath."

Jorah stared at her in shock. "You can't. Only death can."

"Please don't make me order you," Daenerys implored.

"I don't understand… What made you… Why…?"

"You are the Lord of Bear Island. You have to go home. Your house will cease to exist, if you don't."

Jorah looked at her speechless, still trying to comprehend what was happening.

"You have advised me for years. Now let me advise you. Go home and save your house. I couldn't save mine. You can still save yours." With Jon having rejected his true heritage she was the last Targaryen. Any children Jon would have would be raised as Starks and carry the Stark name. Jorah was the last of House Mormont. He could still change the fate of his house. If Lyanna hadn't died, it would have been different. Daenerys didn't want to be responsible for the demise of his house, the proud House Mormont of Bear Island. Here we stand. Here we stand no more? Unthinkable. Jorah deserved better. Lyanna's death had been heartbreaking and couldn't be undone. But House Mormont could still be saved. Daenerys refused to be the end of his house. "Go home, Jorah. Your house needs you. Your people need you." She stroked his cheek and added in a whisper, "More than I do."

Jorah was silent for a moment. "You can't possibly mean it," he said finally, still in denial.

"I do," she assured him.

"I can't leave you now," he protested. Could he ever?

"I have managed without you before."

"You had Missandei and Ser Barristan," Jorah reminded her.

"I have Tyrion to advise me and Grey Worm to protect me."

"Tyrion and Grey Worm? That's your plan?"

She should have gotten angry at his defiant, almost condescending tone. Instead Daenerys tried to remain calm, at least externally. On the inside she wanted nothing more than to agree with him and to abandon her line of reasoning. "Ser Davos has agreed to stay and join the council. And Tyrion has requested a maester from the Citadel. Yara is also sending someone to represent the Iron Islands. So is Dorne. The new prince of Dorne will travel together with his envoy to Dragonstone."

"The prince of Dorne is coming here in person? He will offer his hand in marriage."

"That's very likely."

"And?"

"I will turn him down," Daenerys said without hesitation.

"Let me at least stay until he arrives. You don't know him. You can't trust him."

"I won't trust him. But Dorne has always been one of the Targaryens' strongest allies." The arguing was starting to wear her down. Of course she had expected resistance from Jorah. But it was getting more and more difficult for her to stay calm and convincingly assure him that this was what she wanted.

It seemed for every argument Jorah came up with, she had a reply prepared. He realized that this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision. She had planned this. "Is that what last night was about? A farewell?"

"Yes."

"For my sake or yours?" Jorah asked with a mixture of anger and hurt.

Daenerys took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly. "Both." She wanted to tell him she loved him, but then he would never leave. He probably wouldn't believe her anyway. She wanted to tell him she had loved him for a long time and only realized it on the battlefield when she had thought him dead. But she kept quiet because with Lyanna's death his path had to lead him away from her.

"Why are you doing this?"

"For you." And for herself. She had destroyed so much. The thought of destroying his house by being selfish and keeping him by her side was too much to bear. She wanted to rebuild. She wanted to make Westeros a better place. How could she start by being the end of his family? Jorah deserved so much more. There was no future for him at her side. "Please, Jorah. Don't make this harder than it already is. Go home."

"I can't."

"You can and you have to. You have a duty to your house." Before he could say anything else, she asked softly, "What would Lyanna tell you to do? What would your father say to you?"

Jorah looked at her in disbelief. She wasn't fighting fair. "Is this really what you want?" he asked.

No, Daenerys thought. But she had to do it anyway. At least he would be safe on Bear Island and not die protecting her. She could live with knowing he was alive somewhere else. He had always said he would die for her, if necessary. But his life for hers was a barter she was not willing to make, at least not anymore. "Yes. There's a boat waiting for you at the beach."

"Don't do this."

"Don't make me order you," Daenerys pleaded. She had prepared herself for his resistance. Asking him to leave was difficult enough. Forcibly removing him from Dragonstone would be her last resort and something she wanted to avoid. She didn't want it to end that way. "I will have you dragged off Dragonstone, if I have to."

"You really mean it," Jorah realized.

"Yes."

He looked at her as if she was crazy. The situation was absurd. They were still lying in bed naked. Only hours before, they had made love and whispered endearments into each other's ears. Jorah didn't have any doubts that she had enjoyed it as much as he had. And now Daenerys was asking him to leave her, to return to his home, a home he hadn't seen for many, many years.

"I have ordered a council meeting for today. I will let the others know why you won't be present."

"Council meeting? You don't even have a council."

"Tyrion and Ser Davos should be back later today."

"You want us to say farewell now?"

"Yes. Here and now. Where no one can disturb us."

Jorah was speechless.

Daenerys knew she was catching him completely off guard. But that was the whole point. If he had time to think this through, he might come up with a reason why she shouldn't let him go. And she couldn't allow that.

"I… I don't know what to say."

"Then don't. I think we have become pretty good at saying nothing." Daenerys wanted to tell him so badly what she really felt for him. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want him to go. But she couldn't. So instead she leaned forward and kissed him gently, slowly, and for a very long time.

Realizing that this was truly happening, that he would really have to leave her, Jorah buried his fingers in her hair and pulled her as close as he could, returning her kiss desperately.

Keeping her eyes closed, Daenerys put her forehead against his. There was so much to say, but no need to say anything. And anything she said might be her undoing. Quickly, she pushed away from him, getting up and putting on her clothes with her back to him, not able to look at him. When she was done, she returned to the bed. Jorah hadn't moved. Daenerys leaned down and kissed him one more time, trying to stop the tears, but failing. A few tears fell from her cheek onto his face. Before she could lose her composure completely, she pulled back and walked towards the door. One step in front of the other, she told herself. Don't look back. Just keep walking towards the door. She gripped the handle of the door, steadying herself. Only then did she trust herself to turn around and look at him. Tears were freely running down her face by now.

"I love you," Jorah said. "Always."

Daenerys slightly opened her mouth as if to say something. But then she quickly turned and left.

When the door had closed behind her, Jorah still didn't move, trying to make sense of what had just happened. She had asked the impossible of him. He couldn't leave. I will have you dragged off Dragonstone. He knew she meant it. Daenerys didn't say things like that as a joke. She had planned it, probably for days, maybe even longer. For how long exactly, he couldn't say. And it was too late to ask her now. It didn't matter anyway.

Eventually Jorah put on his clothes and walked around the room, trying to figure out what to do. There weren't any options really. He was just putting off the inevitable. His look fell on the bed and images of the night before assaulted him. How could something so wonderful become so painful so quickly? Their being together had been incredible. But the memories made his heart constrict painfully. The thought that he would never be with her like that again, never feel her body against his again, never feel her lips against his again was even worse.

He packed the few things he possessed in a daze. Your people need you. It was absurd. He, the disgraced son, was left to save Bear Island. It wasn't fair that Lyanna had died. It wasn't fair that his father had been betrayed and killed. It wasn't fair that he had to leave the woman he loved. Without him, what would happen to Bear Island? Jorah had written a message to Bear Island, inquiring who was in charge. But it had not occurred to him to go back, to leave Daenerys. Didn't that show that he wasn't worthy of ruling Bear Island? Many houses, especially in the North, had perished in the recent wars. But Jorah was still alive. Didn't he owe it to his people to at least try?

Jorah grabbed his things and left. He walked past the empty throne room, descended the long staircase and passed through the heavy gates flanked by dragon heads. When he reached the beach, a small boat was indeed already waiting for him. Jorah looked back one more time, knowing he would only see rocks, but not able to resist the urge to turn around. He refused to believe that this was their final farewell. But how long would it be this time until he would see her again?


Notes:

I told you it's not a fluffy story. There were actually two things that I found depressing in episode 8x03. The first was Jorah's death and his useless armor. The second was Lyanna's death and thus the end of House Mormont.

Since Chapter 7 will take place a few months later, it's a good point to take a break here. The plan is to focus on my other story for a few chapters again. I tried working on both simultaneously but got confused at times, since they are similar in some ways but quite different in others.

I'm very curious to find out what you think about this chapter.