Cat POV

I'm in my old house and the panic starts taking over me immediately... It's been years since I had these kind of dreams... But every time I forget to take my pills they resurface...

I need to wake up, but then... I see her... Her face... Ellie... Her blonde hair, and her smile. She was always so sweet to me. I just want to hug her and tell her I love her again. But as I try to do that a couple of hands grab her by the neck and push Ellie on the floor... It's her boyfriend... I had completely forgot his face... Just looking at him I freeze and feel myself completely terrorized

If I can't have you, no one else will bitch!

He screams at her getting on top of her and starting to choke her

No! Please! Stop!

Let her go! Don't hurt my sister!

Me and my brother screams at him. I'm shaking watching the scene. I want to keep screaming at him to keep telling him to stop but only a scream of panic comes out of my mouth as I watch my sister trying to scratch that guy's horrible face, to push him away from her. But he is too strong for her...

Manny... Cat... Run! Call... Police...

Ellie is barely able to say, her beautiful voice choked by the boy's hands. My brother runs to the kitchen, I scream again and cry as I go grab my family's phone with shaky hands and run to my room completely in panic, digiting 911... When I feel someone lightly shaking me... I scream

"Cat... Cat... I'm right here baby! It's just a nightmare!"

I open my eyes and find myself in my room but in my new house and it's dark. I'm able to recognize Jade who is looking at me worried while holding me in her arms.

I continue to pant and shake in her embrace and I start crying, only to realize I was already crying by how wet my face feels.

I bury my head in Jade's hair as she hugs me at her more tightly. Her arms, her embrace... Is where I feel safe. I continue to sob wrapping my arms around her

"I'm sorry..." I mumble

"You're fine Cat. I got you" she tells me

Then I start to remember my dream more vividly and the panic takes over me again. I pull away from her.

"I need my pills! Please Jade! I need them now! I keep them in the bath in a small drawer under the sink! Please..." I tell her. My voice shaking with fear.

She looks at me for a second then she says "Ok, I'll go grab them, just don't worry" Jade reassures me kissing my forehead.

I'm sweating cold as I rummage with the covers in my bed searching for something. She understands and hands me Mr. Purple that I hug tightly at me pulling my knees to my chest.

Jade turns on my bedside lamp before leaving the room and I feel a bit better but not enough... I need my pills. I need to stop thinking about the dream and about... I can't... I just can't think about it...

I know I'm letting Jade down by doing this... I had promised her I would have tried to take my pills less frequently from now on and I thought I could make it till tomorrow morning at least without having to take my antidepressants. But I had forgotten about the nightmares... Even with Jade here I need them to block those bad dreams out. I don't want to relive that night...

Jade returns with my pills and a little bottle of water. She hands both of them to me. Luckily I ate quite a lot tonight before going to bed, so I can take them just fine. I take two of them like usual and drink a bit of water to swallow them (even though I'm so used to take them by now I wouldn't even need water to do it).

I take a deep breath and I feel slightly better already. I look at Jade as she returns to bed getting under the covers.

"I'm sorry Jade... I just... I needed them tonight... Are you dissapointed?" I ask her

She shakes her head "Of course not. I wasn't expect you to quit immediately. Like I said you can start by taking your pills always less frequently, until you will feel like you don't need them anymore. Today you were able to last almost a whole day, without taking them, so it's okay. I'm proud of you" Jade says smiling at me.

I smile back at her "Thanks... But I know I'm a mess"

"Never say that again. No one can talk about my girlfriend like that. Not even herself" she says to me with her usual smirk.

I giggle for a bit then look at her serious "How did you know I was having a bad dream?"

"You started crying and shaking, and then you screamed... Luckily your parents didn't hear you" she says looking at the door of my room that they wanted us to leave open for the night.

"Oh..." I nod "I was having a nightmare about... about..." I squeeze my eyes as more tears run down my cheeks.

I feel Jade's thumb wiping them and kissing my lips lightly "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it"

I nod, then I tell her "Can we keep my lamp on tonight? Sorry I just... I'm still..."

"Of course kitty" Jade tells me caressing my face tenderly.

"Thank you" I say snuggling closer to her. She wraps her arms protectively around me and I feel safe again. I feel her pushing my hair away from one side of my neck and leaving tender kisses on it, saying "I love you Cat"

I smile and I already feel about to drift off to sleep again as I mumble "I love you too Jade" before any coherent thought leaves my mind as I fall back asleep.

I start dreaming again but this time they are my usual dream about rainbows, unicorns and me petting little kittens, so I know I'm fine... The pills worked like usual... But this time I also dream of a scary shadow at some point who tries to grab me. I look at it scared but just for a second cause I immediately see Jade appear by my side. I smile and see the sinister shadow fade away as Jade takes my hand in hers protectively. I feel so happy as I kiss her. Even in my dreams she protects me. It's not just the pills. It's also her that makes my nightmares go away.

/

We arrived a little late at school today cause this morning we enjoyed a veeeery long shower and we both might have spended a little longer than necessary to wash each other's body... Hehe.

I definitely feel better today though, but at the same time I feel bad cause in the end I took my pills, to stop any another panic attack after I had a nightmare I can't even remember right now but that scared me so much last night. Jade isn't mad though, and I love her even more for that. She is so patient with me. But I really want to stop taking my pills, so I will do as she said and start taking them less and less often until I will no longer need them. So I will try taking no pills today and tomorrow. I last took them very late last night so I guess today doesn't count as they will affect me considerably at least until late tonight. Jade's mom called her angry this morning. She was mad because Jade is spending the night at my house so often lately. We agreed to talk to her today. Emily needs to understand how much in love we are and to accept us!

We enter Hollywood Arts and I stop to my locker to grab a few books, and as soon as I put them in my backback Jade makes me spin on place so I'm facing her again and presses her lips on mine.

I giggle in the kiss and I immediately melt. I let out a content "Mhm..." when she deepens the kiss before we pull apart.

Jade looks me in the eyes with her piercing blue ones and I smile so widely. I trace her forearm with my index finger. I love her rebel star tattoo, alongside her eyebrow and nose piercings, it makes her look such a badass gurl! Even though I remember that she asked me to keep her company and hold her hand when she had decided to get her tattoo done last year. Hehehe. She almost crashed my hand that time but I still enjoyed every second. I also remember she told me she would've killed me if I said to anyone else she held my hand the entire time she got her tattoo done but I knew she was lying. Jade always had a soft spot for me, in fact she also loved me even back then, I'm sure of it. She just needed to realize it yet. And now that we are together I feel so happy. I just wish I wouldn't need my 'special vitamins' anymore and that her parents would accept us and then everything would be fine.

Jade notices my thoughtful expression and asks me "All good baby?"

I smile at her and nod "Yep"

"How's your anxiety?" she asks me again

"Oh I don't have it anymore. But you know... I had to take my pills for it, so I guess it's not really something to be proud of" I tell her pouting

"Cat... It's okay... One day you won't need them anymore. I'm sure" Jade says lifting my chin up to make me look at her again and I see her comforting smile.

I smile back "I hope you're right Jadey"

We are about to go to our respective class but when we turn around we find Tori behind us.

We both jump in surprise. Jade immediately crosses her arms looking annoyed at her. While I just smile "Oh hiiii Tori!" I say

"Hey Cat, hi Jade" she says

"What are you doing here Vega?" Jade asks her.

"Oh hmm, Trina made me late for school today. Did you guys know she often shaves while driving? Ugh" Tori tells us.

I giggle while Jade says "Doesn't answer my question. What are you doing here?" she asks again pointing at the space Tori is occupying

"Cat and I have Spanish class together on first period today, so I was going to ask her if we wanted to go together, since apparently we are both late today" Tori explains

Oh right! I had forgot that first period today was Spanish class. Since Tori is half Puerto Rican from her dad's side and my mom's family has Italian heritage, we both thought it would have been easy for us to learn a Latin origins language. But we were kinda wrong cause it's not that easy at all! Luckily Tori and I get along, very well actually. She is a good friend and really fun to hang out with. Maybe I could have had a crush on her, if I wasn't already so deeply in love with my Jadey from the age of 12!

"Oh sure! Let's go Tor!" I tell her before I lean on Jade and kiss her on the cheek "See you later lovey" I say taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. She smirks at me

She turns to me and hoists me up kissing me hard on the lip. Hehe Jadey is so possessive... She pushes me against some nearby lockers and I release her mouth giggling, surprised from her audacity "Jade! What's gotten into you today?"

"You... More than once" she tells me grinning

"What's that suppos..." I'm about to ask her then I remember what we did in my shower this morning and I blush. I giggle shaking my head as she places me back on my feet and I slap her shoulder lightly "Jadey!"

"What? It's true" Jade continues

"Yeah but I don't think Tori needs to know!" I say looking at Tori and blushing even more when I see her embarrassed expression as she was looking at us wide eyed before she looked away saying "Yeah hmmm, so we're pretty late for class already, so.. you coming Cat?"

Jade turns to look at her and says "Cat only comes with me"

I look at her confused same as Tori who says "But you are not even in our same cla..." then she seems to understand something as she looks embarrassed again "Oh... Oversharing Jade!"

Jade laughs.

I didn't understand "Come where?"

Jade rolls her eyes "I'll explain you tonight ok baby?" she says with a wink and pecking me once more on the lips

I smile "Kay Kay!"

"See you at lunch kitty" Jade tells me then she looks at Tori with a cold expression "Vega" she says before walking away to her class

"West" Tori replies with a sarcastic smile

"Let's go Tor, I hope Mrs. Burnwood won't be mad at us!" I say bouncing with her to our Spanish class

Before we arrive she asks "Hey, Cat... Look, I didn't mean it, but before I overheard what you and Jade were saying..."

I stop bouncing but try to look normal by keep smiling. I just nod, without looking at her... Oh boy what did she hear?

"Anxiety... pills? What's going on Cat? Are you okay?" Tori asks me looking legitimately concerned

Oh man... I don't know what to tell her now. I don't want her to know my secret. And I don't even want to think about it. Especially right now at school!

I must have been silent long enough for Tori to grow even more worried considering her expression as she looks at me and continues "Did Jade do something bad to you? Did she hurt you?"

I look at her shocked that she would even think that and shook my head "What? No! Jade loves me! She is actually helping me deal with..." I trail off "Nothing" I simply say

"Cat...!" Tori tries to insist but I take her arm and drag her to our class pretending like nothing happened

"Come on! We are already late!" I tell her.

/

I was able to avoid that subject with Tori the whole school day luckily. Right now Jade and I are going to her house. Later on we plan on working together on a project Sikowitz gave us, but before that we hope we can talk with her mom about us.

"What was up with Tori today?" Jade asks me at some point while driving

"Hmm?" I ask her confused

"She kept looking at me in a weird way at lunch... And when she wasn't looking at me she was looking at you worried" Jade tells me

"Oh... It's probably cause she heard us talking this morning and I'm not sure what she is suspecting right now" I say

"Damn Vega... Always snooping around" Jade groans

"She didn't mean it. Tori is nice, she was just worried about me, when she heard that I take pills for my anxiety" I tell her

"Well maybe she should just mind her business and trust that I, your girlfriend will take care of you" Jade replies and I feel my heart flutter.

"Aw" I caress her arm "I told her that"

"You did?" she asks looking at me briefly

"Yeah... I mean I told her that you're helping me but I avoided telling her with what." I explain

"Great, now she probably thinks I'm hurting you or something and you're just trying to defend me" Jade says

Oh man, what if she really thinks that of my Jadey when it's actually the opposite? I feel so guilty and bad "I'm sorry Jade, I just can't tell other people know about... my issues. But if Tori believes that you have something to do with them when you're actually my cure, I'm going to have a word with her, that's for sure" I say

Jade looks at me smiling "I'm your cure?"

I giggle nodding "Yep"

She smiles more widely and leans towards me to kiss me on the lips.

/

When we arrive at her house and we are about to enter I see her looking nervous. I take her hand in mine

"Hey babe, don't worry your mom will understand how in love we are. Either way I'm here with you. By your side. Always" I tell her.

Her face lights up "Thank you. I love you kitty" Jade tells me

"I love you too Jadey-bear" I say giggling

She rolls her eyes shaking her head and I giggle more. She says she hates it when I call her that but I know she secretly likes it. And if she doesn't, I'll make her like it by being an extra good wifey to her. We are not married but maybe one day... I mean ever since we are together we are practically a married couple already. We sleep together often, I cook for her often, we shower or bathe together, we study together, we go on dates, at school we are practically glued to one another and we make love so much (sometimes daily) that I start blushing and feeling hot all over just thinking about it. So at this point even though we are together from just a month and two weeks I already feel like her wife, and even if it's still too early to even think about marriage, I wonder if Jade feels the same. I mean I'm not one to brag, but together, Jade and I have been a more solid couple in just one month than what I ever seen her and Beck being in their almost 2 years together. I remember that they had almost broke up for the first time ready during their very first week together, a couple of years ago... So I wonder if Jade noticed how good her and I are together instead. I mean she obviously has, but I also wonder if she has given a thought or two about asking me to marry her one day... in the future I mean! Or maybe I should be the one to ask her since we are both girls? And who is gonna take whose last name? I like my last name, Valentine... I even have my own holiday on February! Hehe. But West is also a cool last name. Cat West... Hmmm doesn't convince me much. But my full name would be Caterina West though, which sounds so cool! Like an actress from the 50s. I love it!

"Cat?"

I jump a little as Jade's voice interrupts my thoughts and in the meantime I notice that we have entered her house and went in her room. Dang it I space out a little there...

"Whaty?" I ask her

"You were daydreaming babygirl" she tells me smirking

"Oh sorry!" I say blushing lightly

"Don't worry about it. As I was saying, my mom should be home soon. What do you want to do in the meantime before working on our project?" she asks me

"Hmm..." I think "Oh we could watch ICarly on your laptop! I think they are going to make a new episode of their webshow today!" I say

"Ok. Those guys are not so bad" Jade tells me as she opens her laptop turning it on.

"Yay!" I exclaim as we both plop on her bed and I wrap her in my arms as she starts searching for the ICarly website on Zaplook.

/

I'm laughing watching Carly and Sam doing their usual gag about the cowboy and the dumb girl who thinks his mustaches are a squirrel.

"They're so funny! Don't you think Jadey?" I ask my girlfriend

"They are alright" she just replies but I can see the corner of her mouth curving in a smile too as she looks at ICarly.

In that moment we hear the front door closing and we understand her mom arrived, so we close the PC and stand up.

Jade takes a long breath and I squeeze her hand in a reassuring way.

"It will be cool. Trust me" I say

She nods and as we are about to leave her room the door swang open and a little boy enters.

"Tommy? How many times have I told you to knock before..." Jade is saying but her brother is laughing as he runs to hug her. She makes a grimace and just pats his head.

I giggle looking at them. I always found Jade's little brother to be so adorable! It makes me a little sad that they don't spend much time together anymore ever since their parents divorced, cause Jade lives here with their mom while Tommy lives with their dad with him and his new wife.

"Jade! This is how you greet your lil brother?" he asks her pulling away.

"Yeah well, you know I'm not a hugger goofball" Jade replies crossing her arms

"Cat!" Tommy greets me

"Hiii Tommy!" I say hugging him "Haven't seen you from ages!"

"Yeah! It's good to see you again! Is it true that you and my sister are now... girlfriend and girlfriend?" Tommy asks me and I smile and nod

"Yuppers!" I say looking at Jade who blushes and says

"Ok now let her go, little guy... She is my girlfriend afterall" Jade tells her brother smirking

"Woah! That's so cool... So how does it work between two girls when...?" Tommy is asking but Jade cuts him off

"Stop right there buddy. It's none of your business and you're too little to know anyway!" she tells him

Tommy pouts "Am not! I'm almost 12!"

Jade rolls her eyes exasperated and huffs

I giggle at their interactions while Jade asks him "Mom picked you up from school today?"

"Actually... mom came to dad's house. She asked him to come here and I said I wanted to come too... I think they want to talk to you and Cat. They're in the living room" Tommy tells her

Jade looks at him wide eyed surprised "What? Mom already told dad about me and Cat?"

He nods.

Jade looks at me worried. I grab her face and kiss her on the mouth "Don't worry Jade. I'm right here. With you. Let's go talk to them" I reassure her

She smiles at me as I take her hand and then she glares at her brother who was gaping at us as soon as she saw us kissing "Go to your old room kiddo!" she yells at him and he sprints away

I chuckle but just a little since I know it's no time for jokes right now as I sense Jade's nervousness as we approach the living room where her mom and dad were apparently waiting for us on the couch talking with each other.

A/N: Lately I have been kinda busy with personal matters so I was not able to update regularly like I used to, but I will always continue writing and updating chapters as soon as I have the chance. Hope you like the story so far. Let me know, review please!