The Breakdown
Chapter16-Russ Jeter
Maddie had called Russ and asked him to come and visit with Mike while she attended to some work things. He knew she was in some hot water due to her relationship with a superior officer, albeit; a retired officer, and he wanted to help her. Mike was doing well and didn't have to have someone watching his every move, but Russ knew it was more for Maddie's piece of mind. He wasn't terribly shocked to find Mike in a backyard shed, sanding some wood.
"You already have the crib taking shape?" Russ asked, instantly recognizing the piece of furniture. Mike had been working hard. He had only been released from the hospital three days before.
"Getting there. Remembering how quickly pregnancies can go; I want everything ready by Maddie's seventh month so she can just relax. I hate painting so I am leaving that for the last." Mike admitted.
"I see. I thought you were supposed to be resting." Russ pointed out.
"I work in the mornings, and rest all afternoon, evening and night. I can't not do something." Mike argued.
"I see. So, how are you doing since you were released? Not medically speaking." Russ asked.
"You mean with the other? My suicide attempt?" Mike asked. It was stating the obvious, but Russ knew Mike struggled talking about his own feelings.
"Yes." Russ answered as he grabbed a sanding block and began working while Mike talked.
"Everyone wants to know what led to it. Maddie thinks its because she finally gave me an ultimatum, but that wasn't it. It wasn't finding out that Christine and my kids had died. I knew that, deep down years ago. It was the loss of hope. Before, I always had an inkling of hope that they would turn up. I was a cop and I know it was unrealistic, but the hope was what kept me going. Then I got the call that the DNA matched and that I needed to plan a funeral. As stupid as it was; I even walked into the funeral home, thinking it was going to their bodies I was seeing. Their faces, hair…Hannah's scar on her chin, Kaitlyn's dimple on her cheek…it was skeletal remains. Not even what made them, uniquely them. I didn't even have to pick clothes out for them. Just caskets, Bible verses, quotes, music. Made it surreal." Mike admitted.
"And hope went into the ground with those caskets?" Russ asked.
"Exactly." Mike answered.
"I never understood why you never told anyone about the memorial service until after the fact? You were there by yourself." Russ asked.
"Dr. Taylor lectured me about that. I didn't even tell Tom. Just…thought they had been gone so long that no one else would care. Who really wants to go to a funeral for someone you never knew, or has been dead for so long; you don't really remember them, right?" Mike said.
"That is an error on your part. No, there is not many people left that knew them. I did, Tom did. But there are tons of people who would have gone to the funeral so that you had someone there. Who was there with you?" Russ asked.
"The pastor…the funeral home found him. The lady that sang…someone the pastor knew. And the funeral director. Guy that ran the backhoe." Mike said.
"All strangers. I don't mean to lecture you, but you would have had people there. Mike; what you've experienced has been a huge loss and nothing will ever make it right. Nothing. But other people grieve for them too. I didn't know the girls well, but I knew Christine. I would have liked to go to her funeral. Pay my respects. More than that; I would have liked to have been there for my friend." Russ lectured.
"Pretty much exactly what Dr. Taylor, Maddie and Tom has said. You know what I would really like to do, but can't do with Maddie?" Mike asked.
"What's that?" Russ asked. Mike had put his sander down and was wiping his hands off.
"I would really like to go to the grave. Supposedly, the headstone has been placed. I would also like to go on an errand for something for Maddie." Mike said. He wasn't cleared to drive yet, and it was clear he was hinting.
"I can take you." Russ agreed, knowing it was not going to be an easy trip. He sent Maddie a text while Mike got his keys and cellphone and locked the house and workshop up.
The cemetery was about fifteen miles from Maddie's house and was actually very peaceful. Russ made the decision before they got there to get some flowers for Mike to place on the headstone. He wouldn't leave Mike alone, but stood back as Mike leaned down next to the granite stone and cleaned grass and leaves off the stone. It was very simple, with Christine, Hannah and Kaitlyn's dates of birth and year of death listed. The exact date of death was unknown. Lucas' name and dates was also listed, although he had been cremated and those remains had been lost years before, like millions of others. Still; it gave Mike a place to grieve for him as well. Russ left Mike to his own devices for several minutes before he stood up. The flowers were placed and Mike had wiped his eyes.
"Now; I would like to find a jewelry store. For Maddie." Mike told Russ as they walked away.
"Are you sure you're ready? Or is she?" Russ asked. He knew there was some issues that Mike and Maddie were working out.
"I think I am. I think we need to talk it out and Maddie is scared to. Scared of hurting me. She was pretty disgusted with my behavior and I get it." Mike admitted.
"You were trying to protect your career and her's before." Russ said.
"Yeah, but it was more selfish than that. Maddie is a lot younger than me. About fifteen years. I was afraid of what people would say. Maybe call her a trophy wife." Mike said.
"Do you see her like that?" Russ asked as he found a jewelry store in his phone and began driving towards the address.
"Absolutely not! Maddie loves me and while its different than what it was with Christine; I love her too. I just didn't want people to judge her." Mike explained.
"It would have never been the same, but that doesn't mean it isn't just as meaningful or that its any less. Maddie is different than Christine, but all that matters is; you love her and she loves you and together; you are having a baby daughter. If people can't accept that, they need to just shut up about what you are doing." Russ said.
"Tom is struggling with it, hence me asking you to take me to a jewelry store." Mike remarked.
"Give him time. It takes him awhile to accept things, but he really cares about you and wants you to be happy. He needs a chance to get to know Maddie, but I think he already sees that she makes you happy." Russ instructed.
"She gives me hope again…not just in regards to Felicity, but in everything." Mike said.
"Well, that's important. She does deserve a rock, by the way." Russ said with a grin as he parked in front of a jewelry store.
"Agreed. When I bought Christine's, I barely could afford one out of a Cracker Jack box. Now, I can afford better and have no idea what to get Maddie." Mike remarked as they got out of the truck and walked inside. Mike was immediately assailed by several salespeople, and was getting a little overwhelmed. Russ stepped in, selected the least pushy saleswoman and explained what Mike needed. Within a few moments, Mike was looking at a case of rings in his price point. Some were diamonds, and some had other sorts of stones.
"Maddie is kind of unusual. I could see her liking something other than a diamond." Russ said and Mike nodded.
"I really like this green amethyst, but how would it work with a wedding band?" Mike asked the saleswoman. She found its matching band and showed Mike how they fit together.
"We have several sizes of this available." The saleswoman told him.
"She'd need a seven. Her academy ring was a six and she told me it was too small so she doesn't wear it anymore. Of course; she is pregnant too…" Mike said.
"You can go with a seven and if need be, resizing is free. We have a seven in stock. Would you like the band too?" The saleswoman, Stacy asked.
"Will I be able to come back and get it?" Mike asked.
"Yes. We'll put your name and style number on file. It won't be a problem." Stacy answered.
"I think that the green amethyst is the one." Mike said, very decisively. He handed Stacy his card and they waited while she ran the card and packaged up the ring.
"How soon are you going to ask?" Russ asked.
"I haven't figured that out, but wanted to have the ring on hand if the opportunity presented itself." Mike answered.
"I know that Maddie is kind of…a tomboy, for lack of better words; but she might really like a romantic dinner or something. It might prove you are in this for good." Russ advised.
"I was kind of thinking that too, but I am a terrible cook and am not romantic at all." Mike admitted with a laugh.
"Maybe Sasha and Kara would help?" Russ suggested.
"I hate to ask." Mike said as Stacy approached. She gave him his card, the receipt and all pertinent information with the ring back.
"Let me do some checking. I bet we can figure something out. You'll have a whole ship full of wingman." Russ teased.
"Good, because I am going to need all the help I can get. I hurt Maddie pretty badly." Mike said.
"Just talk." Russ said before he began the drive back to Maddie's house. In a way, Mike had surpassed several milestones. He had talked, visited his wife and children's graves, and was planning on asking a wonderful woman to marry him. For Russ, it was a win even if other people thought differently.
