Hello everyone !
First of all, I am so sorry for the long delay. I had an exam going, and I am now a trainee teacher, so I was very anxious and had an "art block" we could say. I don't how long it ll take to write the next chapter, but, rest assured, I have the whole story planned.
Thank you for favouriting this story!
Feel free to post reviews ! It might help me improve or it will encourage me!
Thanks to my beta reader.
Chapter 4 : Tortured heart.
When Percival woke up on Saturday morning, it was just after a nightmare of his time under the power of Grindelwald. Damp cell, cold, his screams and his burning desire to either find a way to escape or to die. He could remember his own cruel smile played by the polyjuiced dark wizard looking down at him with an air of self-assurance. How was it that all his colleagues had not been able to see past through this disguise ?
It was what made him so angry every morning. He did not even know if he was angry at people for not understanding there was something off, or against himself to have made it so easy for the British wizard to impersonate him. And with this anger, came also the aching feeling of loneliness that he felt since he had been captured, and even more so when he had been saved and went back to work. He was not remotely close enough to anyone. No one really cared for him. Instead, he felt that only three people had really cared about him and two of them were strangers.
His thoughts came to his young and promising auror, well his former auror, Propertina Goldstein. She had managed to fight against Grindelwald and to pass, by her forced loss of her job, as a protector of the American wizardry society. She had cared for him, even if she had been really clumsy about it. She had helped him a lot, just as her sister did. He had never met her before, Queenie, the legilimens woman, so innocent and joyful. She had been very eager to help him and it had been easy for her to understand what his needs were when he was unable to speak, too shocked by what he had been through. After that, when he had recovered, he had worked with her to build occlumency walls to never have someone reading his mind, as Grindelwald did. It had not been easy, but he had finally been able to have strong walls protecting his mind from any intruder. That was when he had met her non-maj boyfriend. He had not been happy about it, but he was indebted to them, and he had appreciated his pastries. Jacob Kowalsky was a nice bloke, caring and very accepting. It was only a plus that he was so attached to wizards and did not want to betray them. He had accepted to take a vow to not reveal the existence of the magical world to Percival, and so he let him stay with Queenie.
As odd as it might sound, he missed them. But most of all, he missed the magicozoologist. Or rather, he was wondering where he was at these days. Newt Scamander had published his guide to take care of creatures, helped to create a law to protect magical creatures in the USA, and he had come back to his country. He had not heard of him really, nor had he crossed his path at the ministry of magic yet. A part of him hoped he would see him one day, and be able to properly thank him for revealing Grindelwald and finding him.
No time to dwell on that anymore, else he would be late to meet up with Tom at the orphanage. This child was maybe his chance to find someone to live with, someone to really see who Percival was. He had to be his best for this kid, to help him suppress the obscurial he had developed.
So the former member of MACUSA put on one of his suits, ate quickly, and apparated to a spot near the orphanage.
When he was able to meet Tom again, the boy was sitting on his bed, looking at the floor and not daring to meet Percival's eyes. He noticed the soft trembling of the young one's body and knew already that he was feared.
Well at least some things had not changed from his former job as head of the aurors in MACUSA; people feared him even if he did not want them to. What was it in him that drew people away from him ? Was he so cold and stern looking for everyone he was near to fear him to a certain extent ? No matter what the problem was, he had to try to make the little one trust him, if he wanted him to help me fight the obscurial. With an orphan who was ill-treated, he knew it would be a slow process but he had to try to at the very least make him feel more comfortable before he adopted him.
''How are you feeling today Tom?''
The boy looked at the window stained with raindrops and answered, his voice barely audible :
''I'm fine sir. Thank you for asking.''
Well that could have been worse. At least he answered, even if it was not enough to make conversation. What did people talk about around kids ? Should he ask him more questions ? Well, it might be a way to break the ice.
''What did you do today?''
The boy tensed even more if it was possible. Percival felt the air growing cold once again, just like the last time he had upset the kid in front of him. Was it the obscurial reacting to his host's feelings ? Or was it accidental magic ? He had never seen Credence do that kind of thing, and it was far from what Tina had described. Credence's magic had been raw power, eating away people, destroying things without a mere hesitation. Here, the magic seemed to be shier if it could be thought on those terms. It was not fully aggressive and not endangering his life. Yet, he knew it could soon change and be more erratic and stronger.
''I… I did nothing wrong, sir.''
Percival frowned at that but tried to continue in a softer tone.
''That's not what is asked, nor what I meant.''
The air became thicker, colder, and the magic he felt in the boy flickered, the blue light glowing inside of him getting darker at hearing him talk. Maybe asking questions was a bad idea after all. He might have to change ways and find something else to say. What to do except asking questions ? He could not move towards the kid without frightening him…
What did people do to soothe kids ? Well, most of them cuddled them, but once again, touching Tom was out of the question. He could introduce himself more thoroughly, but it would only be based on lies as he knew the boy was not ready to hear the truth about the wizarding world. Maybe he could talk about something that happened to him but without saying it was him, like a tale of some sort… Yes it could be an idea, and might be a way to see how Tom would react to the mention of magic when evoked in a tale.
''Alright, we'll leave that for another time. What about I tell you about a tale I've heard about ?''
He looked intrigued by what Percival just said but he tentatively nodded. The man smiled a bit and tried to find a story that could help him understand more about magic. Surely he could talk about a fairytale story but it wouldn't be that close to the reality the boy was confronted with. Actually the only story that could help Tom, to Percival's opinion, was what happened to Credence, all of what Tina and her sister told him. But it was not a real story, it was a part of his life, it was his failure. He would have hesitated longer to speak about that to anyone, but when he looked in Tom's eyes, he could almost see Credence's. Not to tell him about all that happened in New York back then, would also be him failing another child, and he could not bear it. He had to help Tom understand what he was for him to get rid of the obscurus.
" Once upon a time, there was a man who decided to travel from England to the United States with nothing but a suitcase. At first we could say he was there to visit New York City, but soon, strange things happened around this man. "
Tom frowned at that but did not say a thing.
"Money got stolen from a vault in a high-secured bank, a man disappeared and reappeared at another place… "
The boy seemed uneasy at the last action mentioned. Was it something that happened to him too ? Was he able to accidentally apparate ?
" He was soon caught by a police officer who brought him to a huge place. A place full of marble and big spaces. And most of all, a place full of magic, because where this man was led, was the ministry of magic of New York. "
At that, Tom leapt on his feet, his eyes wide and his face showing nothing but panic.
" Why would you talk about magic ? Magic is bad ! Everyone knows that ! There is no such thing as a ministry of magic ! It cannot be. People who are doing magic are not authorised to live!"
He felt a surge of anger at hearing what Tom thought about magical people, about his kind. What lies could the matron and other people living in this orphanage have told him that got him to believe he did not deserve to live ? Because it was what it was all about. He believed himself to be a kind of monster. Once again, the air went icy cold, seeping its invisible tentacles through Percival's veins who could not repress a shudder.
" Tom, this is just a fairytale. I did not say magic existed. " He said in a soothing tone.
The boy's eyes were still weary, but a hint of curiosity was glistening in them. Maybe all hope was not lost, and maybe he would accept to hear him out ?
" So… Magic is not real ? It is just a story ? "
Percival nodded.
" You… You won't tell anybody that you told me a story about magic ? "
He seemed unsure of himself and so fragile with his trembling voice. The former member of MACUSA smiled at him.
" I swear I won't tell anybody. It is our secret. "
The boy seemed to relax and sat on his bed, his head turned towards Percival, observing him with rapt attention. The man decided to make himself a tad more comfortable and then continued telling his story.
" The police officer, a woman named Tina, asked a higher ranked man to check the suitcase and see if there were animals in it, because she had learnt the man was hiding strange creatures in his suitcase. But guess what she found… "
His voice had dropped and Tom leaned a bit forward to better hear him. He tilted his head, seemingly lost in thoughts, before answering :
"Gold from the bank ? He was the robber right ? "
I was surprised by the logical deduction the child had made. He was smart. Yet, even the smartest of man could not be prepared by what Scamander and that No-maj had done by mistake.
"No… It was pastries ! "
He seemed shocked and a tad lost.
"Pastries ? Why pastries ? No baker's shop had been robbed. Or you didn't tell me ?"
The former auror could not repress a smile from gracing his lips. The child seemed very attached to logic and smart. He liked that about him already. He could become a great investigator once an adult and after proper training… But it was seeing too far in the future. For Tom to become an investigator, Percival had to make him accept his magic.
"Well, it seems that the man mistakenly exchanged his suitcase with someone who wanted to offer a project about some bakery at the bank. He was struck by panic upon seeing his animals gone and wanted to find them. So the woman went with him to investigate. Because strange things were happening in New-York and she thought it could be due to the creatures…"
Tom seemed puzzled and opened his mouth to speak, before closing it again. He seemed to take a small amount of time to ponder on his question. Time that I used to remember what Queenie and Tina told me about these strange creatures. It seemed that they were dangerous only if attacked, but most were peaceful and could even help humans. I had been surprised upon hearing how they had used a Swooping Evil to get rid of aurors. Percival, intrigued by those tales, had decided to buy Scamander's book about creatures and had read all about them. He had been surprised but pleased by his reading and his opinion on creatures had changed slightly. Not that he was cruel towards animals, but he thought that the laws the USA used for animals were good. Now he was not so sure about it…
Tom pulled a face and seemed really disturbed by something the American had said..
" But… How can animals live inside a suitcase ? There is no air in a suitcase ! "
I could not repress a smile to grace my lips, amused by this lack of knowing about magic.
" That is one of the wonderful things about magic and stories, everything is possible ! "
The child looked perplexed at this statement but remained silent.
" They eventually found the man who had the suitcase. But the poor lad did not know magic existed and had been bitten by a creature ! So the British man named Newt, and Tina decided to bring him at Tina's home to heal him and erase his memories. "
The boy looked at him, looking perfectly disgruntled by something he just heard.
" Erase ? She wants to erase his memories ? That's… She is so mean ! " He protested.
Percival immediately found the boy's outrage endearing. He was a kind soul and visibly did not want other people to get hurt. Percival decided to follow with his story because it would ease the boy's mind anyway.
" Fortunately, she did not had the chance to erase those memories because he and Newt fled to find the creatures which had escaped from the suitcase. And even though this guy, Jacob, did not know about magic, he had a big heart and was keen on helping Newt. What's more… Newt had healed him, so he wanted to help him in return. "
An air of eagerness was painted upon the boy's traits now and it made Percival smile once again.
" Did they find the creatures ? And what kind of creatures were they ?"
He was suddenly very curious and a little more at ease with the American. Well, it was probably normal. He was telling a story and children were prone to have an imagination so powerful and vivid that they were able to see what they imagined as if it were before their very eyes. Percival was just a storyteller now. Forgotten was the dread linked to the presence of an adult, and he was very determined to enjoy this moment of sheer innocence.
" Yes, they found all of them. A creature looked like a monkey and could become invisible, it was a demiguise. "
The boy did not seem to pay too much attention to the monkey part of the explanation, but he frowned when it came to the part about the creature being able to turn invisible. He looked on the verge of asking a question, but closed his mouth and settled for looking at the man with calm eyes which conveyed his aching for more. And so, Percival carried on with his tale.
" And another one was a big feathery snake with wings which could change size to adapt to its environment. "
A smile was on Tom's lips when he heard the part about Occamy. Percival was not particularly fond of them because he found them dangerous, but he could get why someone would think them interesting.
" I… I love snakes ! I think they are very… Beautiful ? "
Percival did not really agree with the boy, but he looked so happy while thinking about snakes that the man did not find it in him to voice his preferences.
" I cannot say they are not beautiful, that's right. An Occamy is even more beautiful than a snake because it has blue scales and purple feathers. It would be nice if we could see one. Back to the story… In their quest, both of them discovered that several attacks had occurred in New York. Newt was arrested by the magical police and his creatures were suspected of being the culprits. "
The black-haired boy seemed annoyed by a detail, his nose scrunched up in distaste.
" But if they had found all of them, they were innocent. They are idiots to believe they are guilty. " Tom interrupted.
How wrong Tom was. It was such a well-thought plan to put the blame on someone else rather than on the obscurial and on Grindelwald. The dark mage was very smart and cunning, which had cost a lot to the MACUSA and even more to Percival himself.
" Yes, they were. But the head of the police, Mr Johnson, wanted a scapegoat. "
Percival still struggled at associating his name with the one of Grindelwald and the actions the man did under his disguise. Johnson was an adequate substitute name to avoid mentioning his.
" That is not fair !" Tom exploded, putting his hands in front of his mouth just after his outburst, seemingly surprised by it.
The former head of MACUSA just nodded to reassure the boy. The least he wanted was for Tom's magic to spiral out of control again because of his anxiety.
" They found out that the attacks were caused by a child who had lost control of his magic. Not because it was something dangerous at first, but because he made it something dangerous by becoming scared of it. And also because he had led a very difficult life and was afraid of all the people around him. His magic responded by being rash in an effort to protect him from possible threats. "
The boy's eyes became round with fear. Percival knew that Tom would relate to this story, but he needed to use all the ways possible to make him understand that he needed to accept his magic and not reject it.
" Is… Is it possible ? To… To kill someone.. With magic ? Without wanting to? "
Percival looked at the child in the eyes, making his voice steady as he began to talk. He had to stay calm for the boy's sake. He had to explain it to him and reassure him, while still making him aware of the dangers of losing one's control.
" It is only if one's fear his magic. But if we come to accept who we truly are, we no longer have a risk to be a threat to others. Because when you accept who you are, you become happy, and stronger. "
Tom lowered his head, his face darkened by sadness and fear once again. Playing with his hands because of nervosity, he mustered the courage to talk in a voice so low Percival could barely hear it.
" What if… What if someone is too evil to do good things ? "
That was a tricky question. One wrong word and the boy will panic once more… Percival had to be really careful about what he was going to say. Yet, he also had to explain how the world worked. How bad people existed, and how most people tended to shun those they found different from them.
" There are evil beings, yes. And they do harm a lot of people for pleasure. But some people are considered evil by others when in truth, they are nice and their heart is pure. People always judge on what they see and don't take time to learn who the person really is. If they did, everyone would be happier, don't you think ? If shy people, strange people, were given the opportunity to express themselves to the fullest, wouldn't the world be a better place ? "
There, he had said it. He was not sure how Tom would react, after all, he was convinced magic was something bad and that he was something even worse… He also did believe something was wrong with him and that magic did not exist, that was why Percival had decided to speak in a general way. He had to make the boy believe he was just telling a story, while leaving to the boy the opportunity to grasp the truth behind it all. If he were to speak about magic right now as if it were something real, Tom would panic and the man would lose the child's feeble trust.
He looked into the dark blue eyes that were looking at him without seeing him. They were veiled with sadness at someone that age should not be acquainted with. Yet, the temperature had merely dropped a degree or two, which showed that Tom was not too alarmed yet. He had to diffuse the tension in the boy's shoulders though, and sooner rather than later.
" Well, it is just a story I know, but I guess some of its main ideas could ring true. Some people deserve to be met and loved, even though most people think they don't. At least, it is my belief. "
The gaze intensified even more as the nine year old seemed to ponder what he had just heard. Considering his frown, he did not know what to make of all of it. It was to be expected. Someone who had been taught he was an anomaly could not begin to think of themselves as deserving of love in the blink of an eye; Percival had to give him time and some space.
" Do you… Do you truly believe… ?" A small voice said.
Percival took his time to answer, looking at the boy in the eyes the whole time.
" Believe in some people to be clever and kind enough to see past what the others could say about someone? Yes, I do. I am forever indebted to someone everyone has belittled for years before understanding what he was capable of. So… Of course I believe that judging someone on what others say is plain stupid. "
A small smile tentatively spread on the boy's lips and the former head of MACUSA stood up. Tom frowned at that but did not dare say anything.
" I have to go back home. I will be back on Monday to see you. "
Percival gave a small smile of reassurance to Tom who said nothing in return, turning his head down. He would have liked to say something but he was not sure what he should have said to make it better. He knew that if he stayed longer, his presence might become overwhelming for the child, and he also knew that leaving would disappoint the boy. Yet, if wanted to work on his trust, he had to leave, just to prove to the English child that he would keep his word and come back to see him.
" Have a nice day, Tom. "
" Have a nice day, sir. " He answered in hushed tones.
Percival left Wool's orphanage and walked until he found a dark alley where he could finally apparate back to his flat. When he arrived at it, he decided to spend some time writing down what he had to do for Tom to trust him enough to go and live with him.
First of all, he had gathered that the boy was exceptionally mistrustful and believed every wrong move would lead to a severe punishment. It was as clear as day when the boy tensed each time he talked, in how he always looked so astonished and anxious when he spoke without thinking. He also knew that the boy cared very much about the woman that had rescued him, Lou. He had seen a drawing of a woman with wings helping a child, and he also had seen how fear had spread on the boy's face after he had talked about her. However, just before this corrosive fear, he had seemed so happy to talk about her… Percival could guess the boy would love the only person who was kind to him and rescued him from a certain death by drowning. What made him ponder was why the boy would feel fear when mentioning her. Was it because he did not want others to know about her ? Or was it for something else. It was maybe too far-fetched, but maybe it was forbidden for him to talk about her. Or rather, not forbidden per say, but people would mock him or be mean to him if he did mention her… She had rescued the boy no one wanted to see come back after all. Anyway, he would put everything together in due time, now he did not have all the pieces of the puzzle.
If Tom was so afraid of strangers and people in general, Percival knew he would have to visit him more often and for a long time. Yet, he knew the matron would not take it well if he decided to keep up with these meetings for a couple of months. Moreover, he knew for sure the boy should not stay more than needed in that dreadful place. No, he had a month for the boy to accept him, then he would adopt him officially and lead him to his flat.
For now, he had to plan his next visits…
