February 7, εуλ 1992
There were really very few meaningful birthdays in her life. This year was one of them. She woke up to her mother's soft smile, and a simple warm hug as Ifalna whispered a soft birthday wish to her ear. It wasn't grand, but there really wasn't much they could make in the middle of Shinra's confinement.
"Your father would be so proud of you," Ifalna's soft voice lulled her in the embrace, and for some reason, she treasured the moment more than her seven-year-old mind should. "He always said you would grow up kind and compassionate. And you really did. Someday you'll grow up to be a fine lady. You'll go out of Midgar and see the world. And I hope you'll never lose yourself out there."
It was rather difficult to imagine leaving Midgar when they barely step a foot outside of Shinra Headquarter. But Aerith didn't understand half of what her mother usually talked about. And she figured she would just slowly learn them bit by bit as she grew up.
Growing up, her mother would always tell her stories about how much her father loved her. Apparently, a-week-old Aerith had a tendency to cry during sunset. And it was her father's voice talking to her that would instantly calm her down. Ifalna joked how she had been a daddy's girl even at just a week old.
Ifalna pulled away to properly meet Aerith's identical eyes as her smile widened. "I have a gift for you."
Aerith beamed in surprise. She really barely had any gift, if she even had any. She figured it was probably because of the Shinra's custody, and that made it impossible to shop for one. Which piqued her interest even more. What gift did her mother prepare for her between the sessions she had with Shinra? Did she even have any time to shop?
Ifalna reached back to a small pouch, carefully placing it in Aerith's tiny palms. She unfolded the content to see a small spheric stone rolling on her lap. She gasped, inspecting the beautiful greenish and whitish hue of the ball.
"But mother, this is yours," she looked up to meet Ifalna's soft eyes.
"Yes, and I'm giving it to you. You're strong and kind, Aerith. I wish your father could see you now. And I'm sure if he's here alive, he would agree with me giving this to you," Ifalna assured her, and she clutched the materia tightly.
A huge excited smile carved on her face. Her mother loved her. Her father was proud of her. She didn't care if she didn't get the luxury to play outdoors, or receive extravagant gifts. She was grateful for her life right now. As she curled into her mother's lap contentedly, she relished the feeling of her mother's soft fingers running through her tresses.
"Thank you, mother. I love you," Aerith whispered in her snuggle.
It was the last birthday she celebrated with her mother.
February 7, εуλ 0002
Her subsequent birthdays had always been private celebrations; a slice of cake with Elmyra, with a small candle on top. But still, she cherished those love and memories with her adopted mother.
Of course, she was aware of those exuberant parties the other slum girls had. And of course, she wasn't invited. She learned the hard way that she was way too weird for people's liking. She had somehow gotten used to it.
This year was different though. For some reason, fate seemed to be kind to her and sent her a very special companion ten months ago. The guy literally was thrown down to her last April, as if heaven literally dropped the blessing into her life. He was not exactly her first friend. But he certainly was the first who was not repelled by her peculiarities. Their conversations flowed pleasantly. He didn't mind her forwardness, nor her weird babbling in masking her own eccentricities.
Except he was a SOLDIER. Memories of painful encounters and emotional tortures that had constantly haunted her had been partly because of them.
But Zack was different. He was certainly far from the SOLDIERS she remembered. He exuded warmth, light, and comfort that Aerith wished so badly he would be with her this year, or that he would be with her forever. Definitely the last one. So when Zack was dispatched to Icicle Inn a little over two weeks ago to solve some conflicts with the AVALANCHE terrorist group, Aerith consoled herself that they would always have next year.
Blowing the candles and thanking Elmyra for the birthday slice, she was off to drop by the Leaf Orphanage as usual before heading towards the church. It would be the same old routine again. Or so she thought.
Until he showed up at the church's door. And Aerith couldn't help bouncing off the flower bed in her delight. "Zack!"
Zack was momentarily taken aback at her unusual excitement, but his face immediately gleamed with his usual charming grin as he approached.
Aerith reached out to trace the fresh scars on his left cheek, fingers ghosting softly as she recalled one of the scars he got when Angeal died—when she felt closest to him not just physically but emotionally as well.
"Is this new?" Aerith asked. He was still the positive, exuberant guy she had come to love. But Aerith noticed how the sharp edges of his face hardened by all the hardships he had to endure. Watching the young boy grew into a fine man without losing his primary value made Aerith feel that perhaps it was time for her to reach out to the call to see the world outside of Midgar—something Zack and her mother had been convincing her to do, and even the planet lately. Perhaps if Zack was with her, it wouldn't be too scary as it seemed.
Zack's hands rested comfortably on her lower back, pulling her closer for comfort—both of their comforts as it appeared. "It'll heal."
Of course it would. Physical wounds would always heal. But Aerith knew better that his wound ran deeper than just physical.
"But the scar you had before hadn't even healed." Aerith was never that fond of violence. The fact that Zack constantly fights somehow worried her more. "Was it a difficult mission?"
Zack reached a hand to cup hers to his cheek, closing his eyes to enjoy her soft skin on his calloused ones. He always loved her scent. So earthy and fragrant. "It was hard. Shinra's internal politics are messy. AVALANCHE is going rampant. Two friends died. I wasn't able to save them."
She took in his handsome features, and Aerith knew then why he had been so special. His kind heart, his compassion towards everyone in his life—it was almost as if he was embodying what her mother always told her about herself. He was like her other half she never knew she had. "You don't have to be too hard on yourself. I know for a fact that you had done your best."
He looked down to her with a soft smile—gentle and tender as he always had. "You look extra beautiful today," he whispered, but loud enough for her to hear. "You have blusher and pink lipgloss on. Is today special?"
She couldn't suppress her joy at the small details he was noticing. He always noticed things about her—her wanting to spend time with him, her wanting the ribbon at the stall, the protectiveness of her flowers. "It's my birthday today."
Zack's smile withered a little. "What? Why didn't you tell me? I could have prepared something for you."
Aerith shook her head, face still adorned with a blissful smile. "You were busy. And you already bought this ribbon for me. Thank you, Zack," she said, reaching a hand to caress the said ribbon fondly.
"I would never be too busy for you, Aerith. That ribbon was my first-day anniversary gift to you. I want to appreciate you being born. I'll buy you something," he insisted.
"Zack, it's fine. This ribbon and this materia are the two best gifts in my whole life. And you're here with me today. That's enough for me."
Zack squinted at her, even though his thumbs were gently tracing patterns on her hips soothingly. "Fine, I'll take you out on an impromptu date then. But next year I'll buy you a big surprise gift, okay?"
February 7, εуλ 0003
There was no next year for them.
He abruptly stopped answering her calls since October 0002. It was weird and suspicious because he never failed to answer her calls. He always did, even when he was about to get into a battle—he was never too busy for her. And Shinra announced in the news that Sephiroth and Zack were killed in action. Kunsel visited her to make sure she was okay with it.
Aerith regressed. It didn't matter how hard she tried to deny her own ancestry—she was and always will be a Cetra. A stupid Shinra news wouldn't be able to convince her that he was dead. So she tried to write to him, and she entrusted her letters to the only Shinra army left that she could trust—Tseng.
And yet he never answered. Tseng wouldn't even tell her if Zack ever received the letter. But he never ghosted her. Eighteen months and he never failed to answer her—every single time. Aerith had faith in him running deeper than just a childish love. He was her destiny. And so she decided she wouldn't give up on him so easily. Something must have happened that he couldn't answer her calls or letters anymore. The idea of him being alive but unreachable was more terrifying than him being dead, considering she, out of all people, knew what Shinra was capable of. But she'll keep trying. If one of them could reach him, then that was enough for her.
She tightened her grip on her pen dangling between her fingers as determination filled her. And she wrote her seventh letter to him.
Zack,
I feel like I just wrote you a letter a little less than two weeks ago. And I wonder if you might receive this letter at the same time as the previous one I wrote. But it's my birthday today and I want to celebrate with you. I wonder if you remember the date. But remember you said you wanted to buy me something this year. Remember you promised you'll come to see me? Remember you promised to take me out of Midgar? Well, I'm the birthday girl. I should be able to request what I want, right? So this year, I wish you are here with me. You don't have to get me anything or bring me anywhere. I just want you here.
P/S: I have a surprise for you. Remember our deal before you go? ;)
Love,
Aerith.
February 7, εуλ 0006
She woke up with puffy eyes. She cried herself to sleep last night. It had been over three years since she last heard from Zack. He didn't reply to a single letter she had written. Shouldn't he at least give her a sign? Anything? Her eyes fixed on the flower basket at the corner of her room, and it reminded her of the Zack Fair Fan Club interview about her wagon. Did she look like a fool for waiting that long?
Not that they ever put any official label on their relationship, but they had always been intimate. Those soft touches, stolen kisses, time well spent, and reciprocated calls made her feel special. She never kissed anyone before him, nor did she ever let a guy touched her in a way he did. Did she imagine them all? Or did he do that to all the women he flirted with?
She picked herself up to sit by her desk, fingers tracing the pink ribbon Zack gave her longingly before tying up her hair in expert deftness. Taking a deep breath just to give herself some courage, she picked a pen as per the routine of her birthdays for the past three years. Did he even want her letters? Had he gotten bored with her? Like all the other folks in her life? Was their relationship not as deep to him as it was to her? Doubts swirled in her stomach, and she let go of the pen, the item tumbled down forgotten.
Making her way out, she gingerly picked the handset of her landline phone. Her fingers dialed nimbly for the numbers she had memorized by heart, letting the ring played in her ear patiently. It went on and on until a click was heard, and Aerith heard the all too familiar voice she missed too much.
"Hey! I'm Zack! I'm currently slaying monsters and saving the world so drop a message after the beep! I'll return your call! I promise!"
The voice message ended, and another beep hit her eardrum so firmly as she felt her eyes watering. She missed that voice so much. And she wondered how long did she have before she would lose that voice message recording from playing. What would have left from them then, other than the ribbon, the broken wagon, and the pink dresses she religiously put on?
I promise.
Aerith forced back her sob, taking a deep breath when she decided to leave a message this year.
"Hey, Zack. You really should stop making promises like that. You have a lot of promises you haven't fulfilled." Her voice was breaking, and she didn't exactly want to cry. At least not outside of her room. So she bit her lips, even if she wanted so badly to tell him how much she missed him. How much her heart yearned for him. So much so she would probably be satisfied with a single conscious hello instead of a recorded voice mail. Just to know he was safe. Just to know he wasn't abandoning her.
She opened her eyes when she heard a gasp—she didn't even realize she closed them. And she saw Elmyra scurrying towards her, hands reaching out to wipe the lone tear that managed to escape.
"Is this about that SOLDIER again? Aerith, if he doesn't appreciate how great of a woman you are, he's not worthy of your love," Elmyra's voice was woven with disdain, and Aerith couldn't help but smile at the confidence Elmyra had on her.
"Give up on him, Aerith. There are thousands of other fishes in the sea."
But she didn't want any fish. She wanted Zack. And he wasn't as responsive to her as he used to be. She wanted so badly to believe that he didn't appreciate her and went off. But she wondered if that could actually happen in the span of a day when he had been very attentive diligently.
She clasped her hands together in prayer. And despite all the doubts she had, she compelled to the constant churning inside her, and make an invocation of her true wish for her birthday.
Dear Gaia. Please keep him safe.
February 7, εуλ 0010
It was super weird to celebrate birthdays when you were already dead. But the past two years had been such crucial and strenuous years—the meteorfall, the geostigma, the spirit remnants. She didn't even notice her birthdays passing by along the chaos. And even now she could sense the stirring of Omega, and Aerith wondered how much more assaults did the planet had to endure.
"There will be another war soon," Aerith said, addressing her constant companion who had been by her side since the past year. "Did you know about the existence of the Deepground SOLDIER before?"
Zack's spirit warmed in response. And Aerith patiently waited for an answer, even though he took quite some time to. "Shinra's affairs run deeper than just SOLDIER and Turks. I kinda figured we were different than Angeal and Genesis back then."
Aerith sighed. And just when she finally wanted to have a peaceful birthday with Zack too. "Looks like we can't go back to the planet yet."
She could feel Zack's spirit on hers. It was probably the effect of his spirit staring. "You can stay. But... I'm already going back to diffuse into the lifestream."
She wasn't sure if it was possible to gasp in her form right now. But she was surprised and oddly disappointed. So fast? It had been two years since they died—plus-minus a few months—, but they barely had any time to sit together in peace, reminiscing or just enjoying what they didn't get to do when they were alive. Was she the only one who was hoping?
"You don't want to help the planet this time?" She decided it was safer to ask in caution.
"Conflicts will never end because humans are greedy. Someday, we will go extinct, and then it'll be too late for us to realize it. But I believe in every greedy people, there is a hero who will protect the planet. Someone will be there to help, and it doesn't have to be me. It wasn't me in Nibelheim, it wasn't me during Meteorfall. It wouldn't be me this time either. The world is perfectly capable to go on without me."
Zack's words rang painfully in Aerith's heart. It was heartbreaking but hopeful at the same time. Aerith had watched Zack growing up from a buoyant boy to a fine man but never had she imagined that he would mature into even a better man throughout the five years absence—excluding the two years they spent lingering in the lifestream. And that made Aerith wonder.
"Why are you still here?" she finally asked. "Why didn't you diffuse into lifestream upon death? What is your unfinished business?"
He didn't answer immediately. Aerith thought she could sense some doubt from his spirit, but she couldn't be too sure. "Cloud is one thing. My parents are another. And because I owe you a lot of explanation."
"I already know about your demise," Aerith reaffirmed.
"I know," she could sense Zack's smile. "But I promised to buy you something on your birthday. I also promised to bring you out of Midgar, selling flowers. In the end, I couldn't do any of them. But I want to thank you, Aerith."
She really didn't care about those promises anymore. They were dead after all. "For what?"
"The last two—no, seven years of my life before I died were really hard. I almost break multiple times. Maybe I already did." Zack started.
She was surprised. She saw him crying at her church, but she thought he was almost like his usual self when he was with others.
"It was you who held me together. Your comfort, your supportive nature, your selflessness—just you being you—had given me the strength to go on till my last breath. Thank you so much, Aerith," he finished with such clarity that if Aerith could cry, she might already have.
"I don't feel very selfless when it comes to you," she admitted.
She felt another wave of warmth from him at that. "You were the last thing I think about before I died," he admitted. "I lingered here because of empty promises, and I'm sorry about that. I have no excuse for my incapabilities. But at the very least, I'd like to say; happy birthday, Aerith. Thank you for being born. Because you are, indeed, a blessing for me."
He was a blessing to her too. He was the one who gave her strength to accept who she was, to conquer her fears, and to just be herself. She could feel the love seeping from them, budding at the cliff outside Midgar and the church where they constantly frequented. She could already see the flowers blooming at the cliff and the church all year long, feeding on their eternal love.
"Those are no empty promises," she smiled. "You promised you'll take me out of Midgar to see the sky, and I promise the flowers will grow on your deathbed so we can see the sky together forever. I wanted to spend more time with you. Now, your remnants and my flowers will forever be in the church. We'll have all the time we wanted. We made it together, just not in a way we thought we would."
It was almost like a miracle that the flowers had grown on the barren land of Midgar. But Zack was grateful for them anyway. "I love you, Aerith. I always had. It had always been you. I just wished you knew."
"Zack—"
"I'm not expecting any answer. It's not that type of confession. I'm dead after all," Zack's voice shook in somewhat laughter. "It's just what I said; I just wished you knew. In case you were wondering if I ever did."
Her senses heightened when she felt Zack's spirit dissolving. Panic gripped her when she realized this might be the final moment she would ever have with him as she scrambled closer. "Wait, Zack—"
"I believe we will meet again. I believe in our destiny."
And with that, his presence vanished, and she couldn't feel a single drop of his essence anymore. Aerith held herself together, feeling alone after so long. Even though strangely enough, it wasn't as excruciating as she felt during her childhood.
"Perhaps all this while, I had always known, Zack. The five years we lost didn't make our feelings any less significant."
This birthday was different. She was dead. And it really didn't make sense to celebrate birthdays for dead people. But it was on this birthday that she had gotten her closure.
She wasn't abandoned.
She wasn't hated.
She wasn't forgotten.
She was just like any other people—Cetra or not—loved and cherished by those who mattered. Zack was right. It didn't matter if she was dead or alive. The planet will always have its hero, and it didn't have to be her. She had fulfilled her responsibility. She had done what she could to help.
The world is perfectly capable to go on without me.
She was ready.
And as she accepted her fate and started to dissolve to where she belonged, her lips curved into a huge smile at the familiar warmth that enveloped her spirit as she heard the collective voices of the people she loved who preceded her—Gast, Ifalna, Zack... her own promised land.
"Happy birthday, Aerith."
A/N: Cross-checking the dates and events that happened in the Compilation timelines are super tedious. But I'm so happy to have been able to write this for Aerith's birthday. This short fic does not even do justice to how amazing is her character. I hope I can post more fics that showcase her beauty befitting of an angel, as Zack would call her lol! Thanks for reading! Constructive criticisms are always welcomed!
