Rivers and roads,
Rivers and roads,
Rivers 'til I reach you.
- The Head and the Heart
9 days before, The Mansion
When he awoke, Clarke was gone.
His vision blurred the empty space in the bed beside him as the memories from the night before flooded back in. His heart picked up tempo as he remembered the feeling of her and the intensity of her hooded gaze, the way his name fell from her lips. It felt like a dream - reinforced by the fact that this had been a dream of his, one he'd tried to suppress to no avail.
He wondered if she'd thought about them too. She'd been the one to initiate last night, so it must've crossed her mind. They hadn't said much more than each others' names and soft compliments before falling asleep wrapped up together in their bubble.
Her absence brought reality crashing back. Nightblood, end of the world. Right.
He picked himself up, forcing all thoughts of Clarke's lips firmly from his mind.
1,835 days after, The Ring
It'd been 10 days since Clarke's panicked voice screamed for him to respond. 10 days of radio silence. She'd called every single day for five years - why had she stopped.
Bellamy's heart whispered what if s to him - what if Monty's missiles had made it to the ground? What if Clarke actually thought he was dead, had given up hope? What if she was dead?
"The only way we're gonna get through this, is if you use this," he felt the ghost of her finger graze his temple.
"I've got you for that," he'd said softly, smiling sadly. Even then, he felt her loss.
By all intents and purposes, Clarke was gone. He couldn't know if she was alive or dead or somewhere in between, but her voice - her being - had disappeared from his life on the ring. And he had to move on.
So he picked up training with Echo. He felt his strength and agility return from his years of lethargy as she kicked, jabbed, and fought her way past his slower reflexes. The others watched from time to time, hedging bets on how many hits he or Echo could get in. He couldn't care less about the competition aspect. Instead, he used training to distract himself - a jab to Echo's left, Clarke, a swing at her side, Nell, a swipe of his leg, Madi.
They didn't talk about the kiss, though he could tell Echo was still thrown off by him. Where they'd talked easily before were now awkward silences. It got to the point where even Murphy noticed.
"Did you fuck, or what?" All seven were seated at the dinner table, forcing down algae. Murphy was looking between Bellamy and Echo. The others followed his gaze. Bellamy cleared his throat, glaring at him.
"Stay out of it, Murphy," he snapped. Echo looked extremely uncomfortable at the prolonged staring.
"You haven't spoken one word to each other for months now. What gives?"
"Really, John?" scoffed Emori, peeking at Bellamy, "They haven't spoken for a year." Bellamy and Echo groaned.
"Either you two did the dirty or Echo murdered someone you love again, and," he feigned counting everyone at the table, "all of us are accounted for, so…"
"Jesus, Murphy…" muttered Monty.
"What?" he said, mocking offense. "There isn't anything better to do on this god forsaken ship. Y'know, now that we're stuck here for the rest of our lives."
"Murphy, that's enough," snapped Raven. The room stilled. Murphy stood up, pushing out his chair.
"Fine. If you need me, don't." He stalked off.
"John-!" called Emori, standing. Echo put a hand on her shoulder.
"Leave him." Her face was hard. They ate in silence for a few minutes, then:
"What did happen between you guys?"
"C'mon man-"
"Monty-"
"Really? Were you not here two minutes ago or-"
"There was a misunderstanding," interrupted Echo, "on my part. I thought Bellamy...I thought you might have feelings for me." Bellamy sighed as the others openly gaped at him, some in disgust, some in surprise.
"What about Clarke, Bellamy? What about Nell, your child?" Raven glared at him.
Echo shook her head as Bellamy explained, "I didn't- I don't have feelings for Echo, obviously." He gestured to the room and the current unpleasant experience he had somehow found himself in. "She kissed me and that was it."
Raven narrowed her eyes, suspicious. "But-"
"It's always been Clarke, Raven, you know that," he held her gaze until she nodded, resigned. She then turned to Echo, who now appeared guarded, with a scowl.
"If you do anything that puts those kids' happiness in jeopardy, I'll float you myself."
2,093 days after, Eden
Clarke gave up on trying to fix the radio after a month. One afternoon, she'd set down the device on a table and walked away. She hadn't touched it since.
She curled into herself that next month, fixating on Monty's signal and the floating funeral. When it happened, she'd rejoiced that her friends lived - they made it. Now, doubt slithered in and took residence at the forefront of her mind. What if the green flares had been meant not as a "we're alive" but as a farewell? And the faux shooting stars a symbol of them never being able to return to her? Why else would they have sent those signs on the day they were all meant to return?
As the sun rotated above and below the horizon, she went through the motions of life - she woke, made breakfast, hunted for food, helped clean, and tucked in Madi and Nell. Her fingers froze when given a pencil and paper, unable to create anything. She hadn't told a bedtime story for weeks.
If Madi or Nell noticed, they didn't say anything. At least not for the first few months.
Clarke was planning on a quiet evening by the fire when she felt something tug the hem of her shirt. She looked down to see Nell holding the radio up to her in an offering. She felt a stab of guilt as she met her daughter's eyes and immediately looked away - she reminded Clarke too much of what was lost, of who she'd never see again.
"I fixed it," said Nell shyly. Clarke accepted the radio and inspected it. Around its base wrapped a small ribbon and some gauze from her med kit. Her lips twitched upward. Encouraged, Nell added, "You can call dad again."
Another stab of guilt. Clarke nodded in spite of herself and offered her side to her daughter, who accepted gladly. Clarke took a deep breath, "Okay. Should we call him together?" Nell bobbed her chin excitedly. She pressed the button.
"Bellamy," she said, voice wavering from misuse. "We're sorry we haven't called in awhile. The radio is- it was broken."
"But I fixed it, dad!" Nell leaned in to the speaker, eyes shining.
"That's right, Nell fixed it - she's more like Raven than us two," Nell bristled from the compliment, "Anyway, we're okay. We're alive. We'll be here when you're ready to come back down, right?"
"Yep."
"May we meet again," she released the useless button, feeling a weight lift from her nonetheless. This time when she smiled at her youngest, it was genuine.
May we meet again.
2,199 days after, Eden
"Bellamy, if you can hear me, you're alive," Clarke sat on a rock outlook, holding the still broken radio. "It's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this everyday. Maybe it's my way of staying sane. Not forgetting who I am. Who I was."
She watched as Nell and Madi swam in the lake below and felt her chest warm. They were both so mature now. It was incredible to look at Madi, kind but snarky Madi, and imagine the rugged and distrustful six year old on the edge of the lake all those years ago. It was even more mindblowing to look at Nell, with her blonde braids and gap-toothed smile and brown eyes shining, and remember the nudge she'd felt in that desert. Her girls were beautiful and strong. They were her everything.
It was amazing, really, how much six years had changed her outlook.
Nell squealed as Madi splashed her and Clarke smiled. "It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven't you?" Her eyes followed the girls as they finally came out of the lake and lay out on the beach to dry, giggling. "The bunker's gone silent too. We tried digging them out for a while, but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them either.
"Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet, from what I've seen, basically sucks, so…"
Suddenly, a large ship broke through the clouds to the east - so sudden that Clarke thought she was hallucinating again.
"I- I think I see you!" She threw the radio to the ground as she quickly stood, calling to the girls.
…
It wasn't Bellamy. Or any of her friends, for that matter. A fierce, middle aged woman stared thoughtfully at Clarke, her arms crossed. Diyoza, she was called. There were others too - mostly men - who looked just as rough around the edges. The group had guns, and lots of them. This was the main reason for Clarke leaving Nell in Madi's care back at their cabin.
"How many others are there?" asked Diyoza.
"It's just me and two others," said Clarke calmly, holding the older woman's gaze.
"Where the fuck are the other two, then?" an armed man with greasy hair snarled from behind Diyoza. She held up a hand, silencing him.
"And you want peace?"
"Yes. My people fought for too long only to face another apocalypse. I don't want to fight anymore," Clarke eyed Diyoza's extended stomach, "and I don't think you do either."
"Tell us where your friends are, then we'll talk-"
"Shut up, McCreary," Diyoza snapped, grey eyes glaring at her comrade. His face remained hardened, though he fell silent again.
"You're right," she said, facing Clarke again, "I don't want a fight if I can avoid it. I don't know what happened here since we left, but I'd like to hear about it." Clarke nodded as McCreary sneered in her direction, his slimy gaze raking her body. She ignored him, shuddering, and followed Diyoza.
…
She told them everything - from the first nuclear winter to the Ark to Praimfaya. Her audience, Diyoza, a kind-eyed man named Shaw, and McCreary (for god knows what reason), listened with rapt attention. When she finished, they were silent. Then:
"I believe you." Clarke's eyes snapped to Diyoza's, which appeared sincere in her admission. Beside her, Shaw nodded in agreement. McCreary, probably wisely, remained quiet.
"I can show you around the valley and we'll share it."
"Of course, I'll arrange a small team to go with you. Is there anything my people can do in repayment?"
"Actually," said Clarke, a smile breaking her stoic features, "there is."
2,199 days after, Eligius
"Earth to Eligius, come in. Over."
Everyone froze. The first thing they'd done when boarding the alien ship was get the radio working, Monty excitedly proclaiming they could respond with this one. There was no one else aboard, Bellamy and Echo had made sure of it. So why was the ground hailing this presumably empty ship?
"We received an alarm that someone's aboard. We know you're there. Respond. Over."
Raven raised an eyebrow in question at Bellamy, who gave a curt nod.
"This is Eligius. Over." Nothing, then:
"It's so good to hear your voice, Raven." The girl in question slapped a hand over her mouth, backing away from the panel slightly. The others stared wildly at each other, not believing what was happening. It was-
"Clarke?"
"I'm okay. We're safe. Is everyone...?"
"We're all alive, thanks to you," Raven laughed wetly, then frowned. "But Clarke, the log said all of these people are criminals-"
"Full circle, isn't it? I've made peace with them, Raven, I promise."
Murphy leaned in, smirking, "Welcome to team cockroach, Griffin." They heard a chuckle before Clarke responded.
"I'll believe you when you get down here, Murphy."
"We don't have enough fuel, and the fuel on this ship is different than-"
"Sorry to interrupt," it was a lower voice than Clarke's who spoke, "My name is Shaw and I'm the resident mechanic for the ship you're currently aboard. We have an additional pod you can use, so listen closely…"
...
As Raven and Emori listened to Shaw's instructions, Bellamy looked around at his friends - his family. Harper had tears in her eyes, Monty a lopsided grin, and Echo looked at him kindly. Even Murphy had a small smirk. Bellamy swallowed thickly, before opening his mouth to speak.
"She's alive. They're alive," he was trying to convince himself more so than his friends. A pit of doubt formed in his stomach. "But, what if-'' Murphy groaned. Echo was already shaking her head. But it was Harper who spoke next.
"She is your Earth, your Ground, and you her moon," she said, smiling softly. "She still loves you, I know it." The others murmured in agreement.
He looked at Harper, who looked so sincere he couldn't not believe her words, and dipped his chin in thanks. Monty clapped a hand on his shoulder in support.
"Let's go home."
2,200 days after, Eden
Clarke watched with bated breath as the door to the small rocket opened with a rush of compressed air. A hand pushed it out, and the person attached to the hand followed. Her position at the tree line wasn't ideal in terms of proximity, but she couldn't mistake him for anyone else. She felt a thrill rush through her abdomen - pure and unadulterated anticipation bubbled there.
Because of course Bellamy was the first one out. Her lips twitched at the memory.
"If the air's toxic, we're all dead anyway."
She watched as he descended from the ship and others followed - first Monty, who held out a hand to Harper, then Emori and Echo, then- no one else emerged as the five stood on solid ground for the first time in six long years.
She didn't realize she had frozen in place until Madi and Nell sprinted from the trees, screaming and laughing. Clarke let out a watery chuckle and slowly stepped into the sunlight. The scene unfolded like honey, slow and sweet. Madi, with longer legs, reached him first, jumping and wrapping her arms around his neck. Then Nell hit his lower half, hugging his waist.
She watched as his shoulders shook, as he buried his face into Madi's dark braids, as one hand gripped her fiercely and the other found Nell.
Clarke was dimly aware that the others were there and were calling out her name as she began to walk, as if in a trance, out from the shade of the trees. A presence brushed against her right arm. She turned her head to see Wells beaming at her, tilting his head toward the dropship. Her heart seized at the sight of her lost friend, who was trailing her toward salvation once more. Clarke grinned back at him as she continued to pad across the soft grass of the meadow.
"Just casual," she mouthed at him, recalling their previous conversation. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head in exasperation, and she winked. She turned back to Bellamy, Madi, and Nell and approached hesitantly, before stopping altogether a few meters from her favorite people.
Still in the honeyed time, his face lifted and he lowered Madi to the ground, his eyes blinking in shock. He smiled kindly at her before turning his gaze to Nell, who looked at him as if he were her own personal star.
Clarke watched as Bellamy knelt at her feet and reached, hesitantly, to cup Nell's little face in both palms. His thumbs brushed her freckled cheeks and she smiled shyly up at him. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. Clarke waited.
…
This time when he met her blue gaze, it was hard not to look away. She was no longer a sun, difficult to bear witness to. Instead, she was his ground, his home, and he never wanted to look away ever again.
He breathed in the sight of her. Her hair was shorter, cut to her shoulders with tiny braids sprinkled among the curls and his fingers twitched at the ghost of them. Her face was smooth from years of rest and peace and it struck him how truly alone she had been, and how that had to have been simultaneously the hardest and best thing to happen to her. Her lips parted slightly and he realized she was taking him in just as hungrily as he was her.
Suddenly, the few meters between them felt too far.
Then, she's in his arms and he's thrown momentarily to their reunion after she'd escaped Mount Weather. But this was so much more than those first few months on the ground. It's two people who can only exist together, two souls ripped apart for six years colliding, two magnets compelled. They were not the same people they were six years ago. He was no longer the asshole turned self-sacrificial junkie. She was no longer the desperate leader turned Wanheda.
He is Bellamy and she Clarke, together as only Bellamy and Clarke could ever be.
Bellamy sank to his knees, pulling Clarke down with him, and he buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of berries and earth. He clutched her to him with everything he had as he cried soundless tears. He felt her shift and he reluctantly let her pull away, her hands resting on the back of his neck. Her eyes were as read as his must be.
He'd dreamt of this moment, of what he would say and do. Now, he could muster no thoughts but Clarke, Clarke, Clarke.
"Before you even start, you have nothing to be sorry for," she read his mind, chastising weakly. He cleared his throat, pieces of his practiced speech floating back to the forefront of his brain.
"Clarke, I'm so sorry-" She wouldn't let him finish.
Instead, her lips crashed to his and he found himself forgetting all thoughts and coherency but this. Clarke. The amount of nights he'd lain awake trying to remember her face, the feeling of her lips - his brain repeated her name like a prayer as he pulled her closer, his thumbs kneading her waist religiously. The last six years melted away to stories yet to tell.
If they'd been paying any attention whatsoever, they would've seen Monty and Harper beaming with knowing gazes. Or Madi covering her eyes and Nell more than making up for the two of them. Echo and Emori were trying and failing to avoid staring at them, grinning. They'd have noticed that more people - Eligius crew - meandered into the meadow, curious.
When Bellamy and Clarke broke apart, it was because their daughters joined their embrace on the grass. Where the Ark had been dead and grey, this was bright and full of life. As he sat there, held together by Clarke and Nell and Madi, Bellamy felt true happiness for the first time in his life.
He was home.
