To Be Loyal
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: HP is J.K.'s.
A/N: Time to shake things up… with the perspective of one Peter Pettigrew! You didn't think I'd sideline a character with so much story potential, did you?
And if you can't stand Peter, well… James will take over partway through the chapter, and he's got a really good idea to help Sirius.
This should be the last chapter before the start of the Marauders' sixth year at Hogwarts… so we're going to have a longer time-skip between this chapter and the next.
"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." —Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
"James and Sirius will make you pay for this, Snape!" —Peter Pettigrew to Severus Snape, winter of 1974, while being held upside down with Levicorpus
Early afternoon, July 20, 1976
Wormtail's gaze swiveled back and forth between Moony's anxious face and Prongs's thoughtful gaze as Remus related the details of his late-night talk with Sirius. The conversation had obviously shaken Remus, and Peter wondered if Sirius's family had finally pushed him over the edge. For years, Peter had appreciated Sirius's hatred of the Slytherins and enjoyed how James and Sirius' protection had made him feel, but he was starting to worry about his friend. The mere idea of experiencing the excruciating Unforgivable Curse made Peter shudder.
Peter watched James's face as Moony finished relating the story. Taking a deep breath, Prongs steepled his fingers under his chin and stared down thoughtfully at the chessboard on the grass between James and Remus. Remus went to speak, an annoyed look on his face, but Peter gestured for him to wait. They had all seen James get like this before, and he knew that Prongs's pensive phase was usually followed by a startling insight or daring prank idea.
"What are you thinking, James?" Remus asked after a long moment of silence.
"I've got it," James announced, sitting back in his chair with a satisfied expression. He grinned widely, and Peter felt a rush of admiration and jealousy for his friend's cool confidence. Peter never had powerful, spontaneous ideas like James did.
Remus rolled his eyes expressively. "Do you mind sharing?"
James chuckled, then leaned forward to meet Remus's gaze. "He needs family, Remus. He's not going to stop missing what he might have had with his bastard parents, but a new family will give him the support he should have always had. You say he's not comfortable with my parents, well, hopefully that will change over time, but he's still got us."
Remus's nod was accompanied by a confused frown.
"So, what should we do?" Peter asked, and grinned when James gave him a warm smile.
"Well, we tell him that we're going to be his family. Brothers, you know? I don't care if we're not related; I've always felt like you three guys are the brothers I never had. Remember how important it was for you to hear that we didn't care that you were a werewolf?"
"Thank you, James," Remus replied sincerely, though obviously surprised by the sudden declaration.
Taken aback, Peter could only nod along. James really thinks that? he wondered, suddenly uncomfortable in his sprawled out position on the grass. He sat up straight and stared carefully into James's eyes, but he found no hint of insincerity. Peter cared for the other Marauders, certainly-he had worked hard to become an Animagus for Remus's sake-but he had always felt that there was a distance between him and them.
And Prongs doesn't just mean Remus and Sirius, either, Peter thought dazedly as James gripped Remus and Peter's shoulders and said, "We're the Marauders, for Merlin's sake. We've got to look after each other."
Bloody hell, Peter swore silently, wondering, had he been reading everything wrong?
Late evening, July 20, 1976
James poked his head into the dining room and found Sirius drawing on a piece of parchment, a magazine about Muggle motorcycles he had left at Potter Manor on a prior visit spread in front of him. James peeked over his friend's shoulder and found that Sirius was copying an image of a motorcycle and its black-helmeted rider onto the parchment.
"Wow, Padfoot, that's really good," James said sincerely, and Sirius smiled slightly, intent on his work.
"Hey, would you mind coming up to your room for a little bit?" James asked, slightly nervous. "We're having a Marauders' meeting."
"'Course." Sirius pushed his chair back and stood. He tucked the magazine under his arm and held the parchment carefully with both hands since the ink was still wet.
As James and Sirius walked up through the Manor to Sirius's bedroom, James cast a sidelong look at his friend, something that he'd been doing more and more of over the last few days.
Sirius's abrupt mood swings from a carefree happiness to a withdrawn sadness had been worrying the Potters. James and his parents had tried to get his friend to open up, without success. After each attempt, Sirius waved off their concerns and reverted to a cheerful facade. James hoped that his idea would bear fruit. Moony is right; Padfoot needs our help, he thought.
They reached Sirius's bedroom and entered. Peter was sitting backwards in the desk chair, arms crossed over the backrest, while Remus was stretched out on the floor, yawning. James flopped down onto the bed and Sirius sat down quietly next to him after placing his drawing and magazine on the nightstand. James glanced around and was disappointed to find that there wasn't much else in the room; Sirius had brought little to Potter Manor aside from his wand, a small bag of Galleons, his communication mirror, and a few photos. Sirius had been terribly embarrassed when the Potters had taken him to Diagon Alley to purchase a whole new wardrobe for him.
"Let the four hundred and twenty-second meeting of the amazing, infamous Marauders come to order," James drawled, making up a number on the fly.
"And what's on the docket for today, Mr. Prongs?" Padfoot asked, a smile playing around his lips.
James sat up and fixed him with a penetrating look. "That'd be you, Mr. Padfoot."
Sirius glanced around nervously at Remus and Peter, who nodded. "I don't know what you mean, Prongs."
Remus spoke up. "We know you're not telling us everything that's troubling you, Padfoot, and we're worried about you keeping all of that inside."
Sirius curled his hands together nervously. "Guys, you don't need to-"
"You three are like brothers to me," James said sincerely, making eye contact with each of them. Peter's expression was simultaneously hopeful and nervous, Remus's smile was warm and grateful, and Sirius… Sirius's eyes were full of tears. "Sirius, the Blacks have betrayed you over and over, but you're free of them now. I don't care if the four of us aren't related, we've looked after each other like brothers, so we should call ourselves a family."
Sirius wiped at his eyes, and James smiled slightly before putting his arm around his best friend. "C'mere, Padfoot," James said softly, and Sirius wrapped his arms around him.
"Brothers to the end?" James asked the other three. Remus and Peter quickly responded in the affirmative.
"Agreed," Sirius said, his voice muffled by James's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm reacting like-"
"Don't worry about it, Padfoot," James interjected firmly. "I'd react the same way in your situation."
Sirius pulled back and gave the other three Marauders a long, lingering look. "Thank you, guys, so much, really. Something about hearing it… it made a big difference."
"Sirius," James started slowly, not wanting to alarm his friend. "We're not just saying we're family because we wanted you to open up, but would you tell us more about… you know, you and the Blacks?"
Sirius hesitated for a long moment, and Peter and Remus stepped forward. Each Marauder placed a hand on one of Sirius's shoulders, offering silent support.
Sirius took a deep breath, then began to talk. It all began pouring out of him at once: stories of casual blows and attempting brainwashing, of a brother he couldn't trust, and of a constant struggle to hold fast to his beliefs and his loyalty to his friends.
James was sickened by each story, but he refused to move an inch away from his best mate. The worst part was that he could tell by the uneasy way Sirius hesitated every minute or two that he was still holding things back. Wormtail's worried face and Moony's gentle probing questions told him that he wasn't imagining it.
James didn't care. He pushed down his rising feelings of horror as he vowed to be at Sirius's side every step of the way.
August 17, 1976
"C'mon, Sirius, get up!"
Fleamont Potter, who had been walking down the hallway to James's room, recognized James's voice and decided to stop outside Sirius's door. He heard Sirius mumble an unintelligible response as Fleamont approached the entrance.
"All right, all right, I'm up," Sirius grumbled, presumably in response to another attempt to get him out of bed. "What's the matter, James? You always sleep in as late as I do."
"This is a big year! Huge year!" James exclaimed. Fleamont could hear him pacing back and forth across the carpet. "The start of our NEWT classes. C'mon, you know it's Diagon Alley today."
"You've never gotten like this about the start of school before," Sirius replied flatly. Much of his previous grogginess had left his voice.
Fleamont heard James stomp away toward the door and Sirius slide off the bed. "Hang on, James," Sirius said. "What's the matter? Talk to me."
The door had been left open a few inches, and Fleamont could see his son running his hands through his messy black hair: a nervous habit that James had picked up from his father. "I'm just nervous about this year, Padfoot," James confided.
Sirius walked over to James and put a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Evans on your mind?"
James snorted. "I agree with what Remus said: apologizing to her about what happened at the lake with Snape is my best chance to get her to see me in a different light. I know I've taken things too far with the Slytherins sometimes, so I'm going to cut back on that front. I'm not sure Lily will ever see me any differently, though."
Fleamont remembered James mentioning Lily Evans several times over the last few years, although he had stopped after Fleamont had started teasing him about having a crush. Apparently, Fleamont's words had been on the mark, although it worried him that James hadn't confided in his father.
Sirius took a moment to contemplate James's concerns, then shrugged. "I wouldn't worry too much," he said, and James gave his friend a skeptical look. "Look, Evans is a good person, as much as I disagree with her on certain things. It might take some time, but she'll give you a chance. She gave Snape plenty of them, didn't she?"
James's expression soured momentarily at the mention of Snape, but a smile quickly asserted itself on his face. "You know, you're right. Thanks, mate." A content smile spread across Fleamont's face as James clapped Sirius on the back and walked toward the door with a new spring in his step. He was so pleased that he forgot to make himself scarce before James opened the door.
"Dad, were you listening to us?" James asked, a reprimand clear in his tone.
"It's the Man!" Sirius exclaimed as he held his hands above his head in an expression of surrender. "Always dipping in our Kool-Aid, that's the Man, all right."
James sighed heavily. "Sirius, I told you I can't understand that Muggle slang you like to experiment with."
Feeling slightly guilty for eavesdropping, Fleamont smiled at Sirius's antics and stepped inside the room. "Glad to see you two are up. We'll be leaving for Diagon Alley in less than an hour."
Sirius sobered immediately. He lowered his hands to his sides and fidgeted nervously as he tried to frame a question. "Mr. Potter… um, I know what you said before, but I think perhaps I should pay for my own school supplies. You and Mrs. Potter have already done so much for me."
Fleamont took a step forward and rested his hands on his ward's shoulders. He felt a pang of anger at the Blacks when Sirius flinched slightly. Instances like this made Fleamont want to blast his way into Grimmauld Place and bring Orion and Walburga to justice. He knew that Sirius had grown more comfortable around himself and Euphemia over the last few weeks, but they still had a long way to go. "That's all right, Sirius," he said. "We don't mind at all. We'd rather you save the money you have for Hogsmeade and your future."
Sirius looked down at his feet before meeting Fleamont's eyes. "All right, then," he said softly as he took a step away from Fleamont, gently pulling free of his grip on the boy's shoulders. "Thank you."
James's expression betrayed his uncertainty about what to do in the awkward moment, but in the end he clapped Sirius on the shoulder and forced a grin. "Let's get going, then! We've got another year at Hogwarts to get ready for!"
A/N: Yes, Sirius has a fascination with Muggle 70s slang. Don't ask. You may have to look it up on the Internet-that's where I got it from. Remember, we are in 1976.
Please review! Next chapter, Hogwarts!
