Chapter 20
"If I told you I was really afraid of dying, what would you do?"
For some reason, her question from our night in the hotel stuck in my mind as we sat on that bench. I looked over to Sakura, who had yet to say what was on her mind. Caressing her hand, she finally looked over to me.
"This may sound a little crazy, but considering what you went through maybe it would sound so crazy." Sakura took a deep breath before continuing.
"Lately I've started having these dreams, where it feels like I'm seeing different possibilities. I dreamed that you had tried to tell me what was going on, but I ran away from you. I dreamed that none of this had ever happened, and that I was gone. But you had finally gotten along with Kyoko and that made me a little happy to see."
Her voice wavered, her grip on my hand tightening.
"Last night I saw us getting married, you looked so handsome in your tux. But I also saw you looking so miserable that the procedure didn't work. I know I kinda barged into your life, and put you through a lot because of that. But I just wanted to say, despite all the bumps along the way, I'm so happy to have you in my life."
"What's wrong?" Her question startled me, and I realized that a tear was falling down my cheek. We had the same dreams? Is this because of the syndrome? I quickly wiped it away.
"Yes, you may have come into my life like a wrecking ball, but I don't regret any of it. I am who I am today because of you, despite what you might say that I made the choice to change. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be the same person I was before we meet."
Sakura laughed, and I noticed her eyes were watering as well. "I had some of the same dreams, and I won't lie some of them scared me. The idea of losing you... it hurts." I had to pause, choking on my words.
"When I told you that night we saw the fireworks, that I want you to live, I meant it with every fiber of my being. If I could give my life for you to be able to live, I would." Sakura gave me a sad smile at that. "And then I'd have to be miserable that I didn't have you in my life."
She leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder. The scent of her shampoo filled the air, her silky smooth hair feeling wonderful against my skin.
"I'm sure neither of us would have imagined things would end up like this, all those months ago when we met in the hospital. But I wouldn't change anything that happened."
Neither would I. All the times she had teased me in the past, the fight in the rain; I wouldn't have changed any of it if I knew it would lead to this. "You know, you looked really beautiful in your wedding dress."
I could feel her face warming on my arm. "You know it's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding right?" Sakura lifted her head up, pressing her lips against my cheek. "But thank you."
I smiled, turning to her. "I notice that you never said you weren't interested in marriage." Sakura blushed even more. "Well I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else, no matter how long I have left. Besides, my parents like you and I can't imagine they'd be surprised if we did end up saying 'I do.'"
Sakura looked down at her phone, checking the time. "We still have some time before it's supposed to start, do you mind if we head there now? There's something I want to look into beforehand." Now what does she have in mind?
I nodded, standing up and offering my hand to her. Sakura smiled, taking my hand before letting out a yelp of surprise as I pulled her into a hug. "I think I'm starting to understand what you meant in the hospital, there's something really nice about feeling someone else's warmth."
We made our way to the lab, Rio was waiting out front for us. "Hey you guys are a little early." I raised my eyebrow at her. "Something tells me you knew we would be." She gave a sly smile.
"Maybe I did. Well come on in, you guys can relax until it's time to start." We followed her in, Rio pointed out seats for us to use. "Actually can I talk to you in private for a second?" Sakura looked over to me, and I nodded.
"I'll be waiting here, go have your girl talk." Sakura laughed, and the two of them left the room. So this is really happening. It was still hard to believe that there might be a way for Sakura to live a full life. The thought that we could enjoy a life together to the fullest filled me with more joy than I thought was possible.
But at the same time, that lingering fear from my dream stuck with me. What if after everything, it all ended up being for nothing. Was it better to not do this, and just enjoy the time we had together? The whirlpool of emotions surged in me, and I felt ashamed with myself.
It's not my choice, it's hers. I was ultimately along for the ride. Despite any fears I had, it would be selfish for me to tell her not to do this. She had made up her mind to give this operation a shot, I had to support her with everything I could.
Before long, I could here the two girls voices coming back. Rio had a look of surprise on her face, and I could only imagine what Sakura had said to her. "I'll give you two some time to talk, when you're ready just let me know."
Sakura nodded, and I was merely confused at everything unsaid. Sakura took a seat next to me, looking a little bashful. Wanting to lighten the mood, I opened up my bag and took out the gift I had bought.
"I got this for you, I figured I should give it you now." Handing the small package over to her, Sakura smiled. "You didn't have to get me something else. Can I open it?" I nodded, and she eagerly ripped open the wrapping.
"Oh, it's beautiful." Inside the small jewelry box sat a necklace with a cherry blossom pendant, the rose gold of the metal was accented by the pink stone in the middle of the flower.
"So you like it then?" It was the first gift I'd ever bought for a girl, and I had spent hours trying to decide what to get her. I hoped it wouldn't have been too cheesy, just going with something that had to do with her name.
"I love it." Sakura smiled warmly as she took the necklace from the box, undoing the clasp. "Will you do the honors?" She handed the necklace to me, turning her back to me as she lifted her hair from her neck so I could place iton her.
If only you knew how cute you looked right now. I placed the necklace around her neck, the clasp locking together. Before she could put her hair back down, I quickly kissed the back of her neck.
"Hey a little warning next time." Sakura scolded me, her teasing tone making me laugh. "So that means there would be a next time then?" She turned to me, her pure smile melting my soul.
"For as long as possible, yes." She held out her hand. "Can I see your phone?" I was a little puzzled at what she had planned, but I handed over my phone. It's not like there's anything sketchy on it, if that's what she's looking for.
She pulled up my phone book, moving down to my mothers number before pausing. "There's something I wanted to do, but it wouldn't feel right if we didn't at least ask first."
"Ask what? What do you have planned?" Was she planning to tell my mom about her disease? What did that have to do with asking her something?
"Don't be mad, but I may have mentioned the dreams I had to Rio. And she may have mentioned that one of the doctors is a registered minister. So..."
Slowly everything dawned on me. Wait WHAT? "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Sakura nodded shyly.
"I already spoke to my parents while I was with Rio. While they would want a real wedding one day, they said if this is what I really want to do then they'd agree. If it makes you feel better, just think of this as practice for the real thing."
If it was possible, my jaw would have hit the floor like one of those old cartoons. Wait she wants to get married? Aren't we too young? Before I could respond, Sakura continued.
"If you don't want to do this, I'd understand. It's not as though we'd have an official document or anything, they don't have any of that here. It would just be something our families and us know about. But I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how I feel about you."
She smiled, looking down as if a little afraid to have even brought it up after I hadn't said anything. "I just thought it might be nice to know that while I'm in surgery, I have someone who means more than the world to me waiting outside. Not that you don't mean that much to me already. Maybe it was silly to even bring it up, let's just forget about it."
I took the phone from her hand, pressing the call button. It rang twice before my mother picked up. "Hi dear, is everything okay? This is out of the ordinary for you." Sakura looked at me, surprised but not saying anything.
"Yes, and I know. There's something I need to ask you. What do you think about Sakura?" There was a short pause, and I could feel Sakura's gaze piercing through me. I put the phone on speaker, and waited for my mother to respond.
"She's absolutely wonderful, I had a great time meeting her the other day. I was so very happy to meet her, she's a perfect friend for you and an even better girlfriend. Is everything okay?"
I took a deep breath, ready for what was to come. "Everything is good. So, what would you say if I told you that I wanted to marry her?" I braced myself for the storm.
"You know this so soon? Well if it's what you truly want, I can't say no. You're not going to tell me that I can expect to be a grandmother next are you?" I wasn't sure who was more red in that moment.
"No, I can't exactly say what made me bring this up in the first place, and eventually one day we'd want to do things properly. But this is something we both want to do today, but not without your blessing."
Sakura smiled, finally hearing my answer. "Well I'm sure you would have a good reason for doing this, but I expect we'll have to have a talk with your father about this later. It might be a good idea to have your bride there to explain things too, since he does still want to meet her."
"I promise we'll explain everything, and thank you. You don't know how much this means to her and I." Sakura placed her hand in mine, and we smiled at one another. "I'll be looking forward to that conversation. Does her parents know about this?"
Sakura chimed in. "Hi, sorry. Yes they do, they both agreed to it." "Oh hello Sakura. Well if her parents said yes, then I'd feel bad saying no. Just let me know when the two of you will be by for that talk." Sakura and I both spoke up at the same time. "Thank you."
I could have sworn I could hear my mother smiling on the other end of the call. "Yes you're both welcome. I'll talk to you two later." Hanging up the phone, Sakura and I simply looked at one another. "So are you really sure about this?"
I nodded. "I understand why you brought it up, and we'll have plenty of time to do things properly in the future." Sakura smiled, and had a smug look on her face. "Isn't there something you should be asking me?"
Oh duh. I got up, getting down on one knee. "I know you should probably have a ring to do this, but Sakura Yamauchi, will you marry me?" I'm really doing this, aren't I? I knew that our way of doing things was completely out of the ordinary, but I also knew that there was no one else I'd want to devote my life to.
"Of course I will." Tears of joy fell down both of our faces as we embraced. "If I had known that this would be happening today, I would have dressed a little nicer." Sakura laughed. "Well that can always be fixed when we have the real deal in the future."
Rio must have been waiting outside of the room, because we heard a small knock on the door before she entered into the room. "Shall we get started then?" Sakura and I nodded, following her through the building to a different room.
Inside, one of the members of the surgery team was finishing setting up some chairs. Before I could wonder who they were for, the door behind us opened and Sakuta and Mai walked in. "We heard that the two of you were planning to get married, so we had to be here. I hope it's okay for us to be here."
Sakura and I nodded, greeting them. The two of them took their seats next to Rio, and Sakura and I made our way in front of the minister.
"As we are under a bit of a time crunch, we'll have to make this a little brief, if that's okay with the two of you." Sakura and I nodded.
"Dear friends, we gather today to see these two united into one. If anyone would wish to object, now would be the time to do so." I half expected Kyoko to come rushing in, yelling how this was too soon. But no one spoke up, and the minister continued. "As this is a bit sudden, but do the two of you have vows to share with one another?"
I looked to Sakura, unsure of who would speak first. Before I could start, Sakura began.
"It may not have been the typical way that most people do things, but every step along the path we've taken together has been something I treasure. The good times, the bad times, I wouldn't give any of it up. I hope that I can make you as happy as you've made me, and that our future shines as bright as the smiles that we've shared. I may not know what will come in the future, but I know that I love you more and more each day."
"Sakura, before we met I lived my life in solitude, finding peace in the many books I buried myself in. If someone had told me back before we meet that I'd find myself where I am now, I would have just told them to go talk nonsense somewhere else. But because of you're help, I've become a better person. I've made friends, laughed and cried and felt things I never imagined I would because of another person. We may be complete opposites in so many way, but there's no one else I'd want to spend my life with."
I could have sworn I could hear crying from behind us, but I had enough sense to not turn around. The minister smiled. "That was very beautiful. If the bride and groom would face each other now and take each others hands."
Sakura and I turned, a faint flush upon her cheeks and she smiled at me. "Do you Haruki Shiga take Sakura Yamauchi as your bride, to live life together in the bond of matrimony?" "I do."
"Do you swear to take care of her in good times and in poor, through sickness and in health?" Ah the irony. "I do."
"Do you promise to be faithful, cherishing your wife until the end of your journey?" "I do." I was glad he had changed things up, it was one less reminder of what had brought us here today in the first place.
"Do you Sakura Yamauchi take Haruki Shiga as your husband, to live life together in the bond of matrimony?" "I do."
The minister went through the same steps with Sakura, each she said yes I felt happier and happier.
"By the power vested in me, in front of these friends gathered here today, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Sakura smiled as we stepped closer, my hand rising up to caress her cheek as our lips pressed together. Behind us, I could hear the three friends that had come to support us clapping.
"We will begin the surgery prep in twenty minutes, we will come to get you when it is time." The minister headed out of the room, quickly congratulating us on his way. Even if we didn't have paperwork saying we were married, I knew deep down that I didn't regret this.
Sakura is going to pull through this, and one day we'll have the real deal. Rio and Mai were wiping their eyes, confirming my thought earlier. "For an on the spot wedding, those vows were very lovely." Sakuta spoke up, handing a tissue to his fiancé.
"Thank you, it was a little tough being put on the spot like that but I just spoke from the heart." Sakura leaned on me, and I wrapped my arm around her. "You have some stiff competition, I'm curious to see what you'll say when it's your wedding."
Rio nudged Sakuta, a smug look on her face. "I know, but I know just the guy to talk to for advice." Sakuta reached out his hand, shaking mine. "I'm very proud of you, if I didn't know the story of you two share I would have thought that you've been together for ages."
Did it really come off that way? I smiled warmly at him, then walked over with him as Sakura showed the girls the necklace I had given her.
"So how are you holding up with all of this?" Sakuta leaned against the wall. "Well the wedding was a surprise, but I was even more surprised that both her parents and my mom were okay with it."
Sakuta shook his head. "I meant with the procedure. Though I was a bit surprised to get the call from Rio asking us to come and be witnesses to a wedding." I looked down for a moment.
"I'm terrified. She means the world to me, no even more than that. After everything I went through, it just scares me that this chance to save her could be the very thing that..." I trailed off, unable to say the rest.
Sakuta nodded. "Have you told her that?" I shook my head. "I didn't want her to worry about me when she's going in, I'd rather just be happy than bring her down."
"Can I be honest with you?" I slowly nodded. "You should tell her. I'm praying that this goes well, I really am. But I think it's better to not have any regrets, to tell her how you really truly feel. I don't think she'd be worried, I think she'd be touched that you care so much about her."
I looked up to him, his warm smile pushing away the fear for a moment. "Remember our talk on the beach? You may feel sorry and have doubts along the way. But honesty and positivity go along way in a relationship. And now the two of you are in the deepest relationship there is."
"I guess you do have a point." Sakuta smiled again. "Great, well then I think you know what you need to do then." He walked over to the girls, whispering to Mai. She looked over to me, and then nodded to Sakuta. Taking Rio with her, the three of them stepped out of the room.
Sakura and I slowly made our way to each other. "So that really just happened huh? It almost feels like a dream doesn't it?" I nodded, working up the nerve to tell her how I felt.
"Sakura, there's something I want to say before you go into surgery. Honestly, I'm terrified. You mean so much more to me than I could ever put into words, that when I had that dream of the surgery going badly I was shaken. I can't say I don't want you to go through with it, because if it works then that means I'd get to spend my life with you. But the thought of losing you, it..."
I couldn't say anymore, feeling as though I would break down in front of her if I did. Sakura gently placed her arms around me.
"I'm scared too. It feels like my whole life has lead me to this moment, the thought that we might not get more than this hurts. But you don't know how much it means to hear you say that. I said it before, but I truly am blessed to have someone care about me this much. But once I'm out of this surgery, we will have our whole lives to spend together."
The dam inside me finally broke, and tears fell uninterrupted. "It's almost time for me to go in, I really wish we had longer. But I promise I'll see you soon." Sakura started to pull back but I didn't want to let go just yet.
"There's something else I want to say before. I would have said it during the vows but I didn't think it would go over to well with everyone else." Sakura looked up to me. "Oh? What would that be my husband?"
I moved one of my hands from her back to her cheek once more. "I want to eat your pancreas." I leaned in, kissing her as we both smiled.
The Author's Desk
Okay so hear me out. Recently, I fell in love with a little series called Tonikaku Cawaii. It was such a wholesome experience, just pure love between two people who met only once and got married. (spoilers I guess though that's kinda the description for the series)
I've lost count how many times I've read the novel and manga, and watched the film. Each time, it makes me just a little sadder seeing what could have been. The heartfelt moment as they embraced while watching the fireworks, the sorrow as Haruki read the last letter from Sakura, the anguish as they had their fight.
Part of me does thing it's a little out of the ordinary for two people to start dating and decide to become one so soon. But this relationship between Sakura and Haruki is anything but ordinary. That's why I went with an informal wedding, where all that truly matters is the feelings shared between bride and groom.
I know that the short sequel novel shows us that Haruki does get married one day and his children, but honestly all I could think about after reading that was how great it would have been if Sakura had been the bride and mother of his child.
I think it speaks to how powerful this series is, I've spent so much time enjoying the presence of others online who feel so strongly about it. I've had a blast sharing the film with family and friends, and dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions each time.
To those who have come along on this journey with me, thank you. I've had a blast working on this story so far, and while this may seem like I'm saying farewell, rest assured this isn't the end.
Part of me thought this would be a nice ending to the story. It leaves it up to you the reader what happens next, however I do have more I want to write. I hope it's okay with you guys if we continue the journey for just a little longer.
Considering my own love life has been, well not so great lol, I hope I've been able to do these two lovers some justice. It's my hope that you've enjoyed the journey they've taken so far, even if it may seem a little outrageous the steps they've taken.
But for now, I shall see you in the next chapter. Thanks for reading.
