Chapter 11

Flashback

– Before l knew everything, my rose-tinted glasses were literally glued to my face. – I made myself believe that Rachel was a saint and could do no wrong… – Up until al certain moment.

– That day, Rachel asked me to collect her from that junkie Frank Bowers – her dealer, that she was visiting for awfully long.

– l was meant to get Rachel on like 12:30, but arrived much earlier. – That dealer's RV was in some sketchy place.

– I was creeped out enough, but there was no one here, again except for the trailer, and Rachel wasn't showing.

– I breathed in and rolled towards the trailer. Suddenly, through a layer of dirt on the window, l saw two figures making out.

– Jesus guys, at least cover yourself up, – I laughed, but suddenly, my eyes focused on the people themselves, and suddenly, l felt vomit coming towards my mouth.

Rachel?!

– My eyes weren't playing me. – It was Rachel, kissing someone else who wasn't Chloe. – Wtf?! – Weren't they dating?

– I got out of the car, fuming. – Not even thinking about anything, l stood in front of the door and banged on it.

– Hey, Rachel! – It's me, Hannah, l came to collect you!

– H… – Hannah?! – Give me some time, I'll be there soon.

– I was really pissed, but still wanted to hear what Rachel got to say. – After all, she was my friend…


– After some time, Rachel got out of the RV, looking completely fine, as if l hadn't just caught her cheating on Chloe.

– Hey Hannah. – You are quite early, didn't we agree on 12:30?

– Rachel playfully got into the car, but instead of taking off immediately, l stared right at her.

– Rachel… – What the actual fuck?

– Huh? – What do you mean?

– Oh no, you will not play that bullshit on me, Rach. – I saw how you were smacking lips with Frank Bowers! – Seriously?!

– Can we talk about that later, ok?

– I looked at Rachel, but she displayed no reaction whatsoever. – She actually rolled her eyes and didn't say anything. – I took off and the drive was awkward and silent.

– We both were quiet, but l felt really uncomfortable. – Finally, l decided to try and initiate the conversation again.

– Rachel… – Can we talk about this please?

– Listen Hannah, it wasn't like that, you got it wrong, l swear.

– Then what was it Rach, huh? – You cheated on Chloe, and l caught you. – So tell me the truth, now.

– Jesus Hannah, l didn't cheat. – Me and Chloe are not even dating, l can kiss whoever l want, and sleep with whoever l want.

– To say that l was fucking baffled means not saying anything. – Rachel was cold as a stone, and was wearing a small witty smile.

– Suddenly, her face completely from arrogant and victorious to pitiful. – Like she put on a new mask, and l don't know about other people, but it was legitimately scary for me.

– Well, Chloe certainly doesn't think that. – We talked numerous times and she said how she loved you. – I supported it, and l thought you felt the same?

– Rachel only awkwardly nooded.

– Hannah… – I love Chloe, and only Chloe. – Frank is just… – A small fling to get drugs much easier. – Please Hannah, just try to understand.

– Rachel…

– Han, please don't tell Chloe. – You know how crazy jealous she can get... – Please, l'm asking you on the behalf on our relationship.

– She had a point, and I began to doubt myself. – After all, l wished all best for Chloe and she was happy with Rachel, so why should l ruin it?

– I knew it was wrong, but when looking at Rachel, she was just staring at me, looking deeply in the eyes, like she was saying: "don't tell Chloe".

– I was so naïve, so dumb. – I should have noped out of there at that right moment, but instead, did a complete opposite.

– Okay, Rachel… – I try to hide your "secret" for now, and still, it's only for Chloe and just because she loves you.

– I glanced at Rachel and saw that she, at one moment looked a little disgusted, before putting on a hopeful smile.

– Gosh Hannah, thank you so much! – I guess l owe you my life now?

– Nah, can survive without it. – What l'm asking in exchange – don't you ever cheat on Chloe and never ever betray her.

– I think l can manage it. – Thanks Hannah, I knew I could count on you.

– That was the first red flag. – The paint of my rose-tinted glasses began to wash off – Rachel was treating this whole horrible situation as a small fight at the playground she just won.

– I haven't decided on what l was angrier at her, but the only thing l knew – that now, my trust in Rachel was gone completely. – She betrayed Chloe, and therefore – betrayed me.

Flashback ends


Hannah got to her room and fell on the bed, covering her face with a blanket and drifted into thoughts.

She was questioning herself. What if that breaking into the school with Max and Chloé would be a horrible idea?

– Why do they even need to break into the school? – What does it has to do with Rachel? – Are Max and Chloe are hiding something from me? –

Hannah's head was blowing up with more and more questions. Jesus, why does it have to be so complicated?

She finally got up and looked at herself in the mirror and unsurprisingly, she was a complete mess. Hannah took a deep breath and changed into the simplest orange sweater she had, not even putting on some more outfit gimmicks, like she usually did.

– I really need some shower and some good bang on my head. – I don't even look like myself anymore.

Hannah looked over and saw a photo with her and Rachel on the top of the drawer. She took it and breathed in. They both looked so happy on this photo…

– Why Rach… – Hannah asked, like this photo was going to reply to her. – Why did that had to happen between us?

She breathed in again.

– Ugh, fuck it, – Hannah grit through her teeth and angrily put the photo in the drawer. All the times with Rachel were filling her head.

She slammed herself into her soft chair and looked out of the window, feeling a little miserable.

The time was getting closer to 11pm. Suddenly, Hannah's phone beeped – it was a message from Max.


M: Hey Hannah. You up and ready?

H: Oh yeah!

M: Me and Chloe are outside, just passed the "drunk obstacle" (Principal Wells), it was a pain in the ass.

H: Geez…

M: We are at the yard rn. Join if you don't want to miss out all the fun ;-)

H: Will do! Save me the seat!


Hannah got up and breathed in. Weirdly for herself, she felt excitement flowing through her body, while only one hour ago, she thought of not going!

The feeling of adventure completely erased that feeling of fear. She got out and got to Max and Chloe.

Her heart was beating fast, but not because of adventure that is waiting for her, but because her brain took out the memories that were deeply buried inside.

Hannah was afraid to even remember Rachel… Especially the negative emotions, but now, she dominated her mind. Like she always had.