The Outcast and The Night Fury
Chapter Sixteen
"But I don't want to wear this thing," I protested, tugging at the sleeve of the light blue hospital gown I was wearing. "I want to wear my real clothes."
Dr. Anderson smiled. "If you're well enough to complain about clothing, then I think you're definitely on the mend."
Dr. Anderson was one of the surgeons who had saved my leg, and I had thanked her for that as soon as she had come in, but I had also started pushing to be allowed to wear my own clothes, at least pajamas. I hated the hospital gown. It was undignified. It was a little too big and kept slipping off my shoulder. And it was very thin and I was cold.
When I mentioned all that, Dr. Anderson turned to the nurse who had accompanied her. "Could you please bring some extra blankets for Hiccup?"
Then she turned back to me. "Well, it does seem that you're no longer in an emergency situation, but let's make sure."
She looked at the machines I was hooked up to, checking their readings and making notes on a clipboard, while Dad and I watched her intently.
It was early the next morning after I had woken up during the night, and Dad and I had talked-and cried and hugged. He had still been there, sitting in the chair beside me, when I had woken again this morning. We hadn't had much time to talk, other than Dad asking how I felt, because an orderly had come in with my breakfast—porridge and strawberry gelatin. It tasted better than I expected, but I think that was only because I hadn't eaten real food in four days and once I saw the breakfast tray, I was suddenly starving. Getting liquids through an IV just isn't the same as eating a meal, even if the meal is porridge and gelatin.
I felt guilty eating in front of Dad, when he didn't have anything, so I offered to share, but he quickly shook his head.
"Thank you, son. But you need to build your strength back up. I'll get something from the cafeteria in a little while."
"I think you just want something better than porridge and gelatin," I told him.
Dad ruffled my hair. "You always were a smart kid."
I smiled at him. Maybe I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I really loved Dad doing things like ruffling my hair and holding my hand and just talking and joking around. It was so new and a little strange, but it was wonderful.
And maybe I'm too old to want my dad to stay with me all the time while I was in the hospital, but I did.
But I also didn't want him to be hungry so I said, "You can go on to the cafeteria, if you want to. I'll be all right."
"I'll go in a few minutes," Dad answered. "There's someone else here—"
But that was when Dr. Anderson and the nurse came in to check on me, so Dad stopped talking.
Dr. Anderson finished making notes on her clipboard and looked over at us with a smile. "You're recovering well, Hiccup. Your white blood cell count is still a little high, but it's coming down, and-"
"What does that mean?" Dad frowned, looking anxious.
"Well, it can mean the body's immune system is fighting an infection," Dr. Anderson began.
"Is Hiccup's leg infected now?" Dad looked even more worried, and I have to admit I was a little concerned too. If my leg was infected, could I still be in danger of losing it?
Dr. Anderson shook her head. "No, there's no sign of infection in the leg. We couldn't have put the cast on if there had been. The white blood cell count can also be a reaction to physical or emotional stress, and I think that's more likely, considering everything Hiccup's been through the past few days, especially since it's coming down. Another day or two, and his white blood cell count should be in normal range again."
"That's good news." Dad looked relieved and he squeezed my hand gently.
"When can I go home?" I focused on the most important matter.
"We'll check all your numbers again tomorrow, and if everything still looks good, we'll talk about it then," She replied.
"Can I at least wear my own pajamas?" I asked.
Dr. Anderson considered. "I think we could take your IV out this afternoon, once this saline bag is finished. We've been giving you pain meds through the IV, but you're able to take pills now, just as needed. So I don't see any reason why you couldn't wear your pajamas."
She glanced at Dad and then grinned at me. "If you can find someone who'll leave your side long enough to fetch them."
She left as the nurse came back in with a couple blankets and began to tuck them around me.
"I can do that," Dad offered. The nurse thanked him as she too left the room.
Dad spread the blankets over my bed and carefully placed them around my shoulders.
"You should have told us if you were cold," he chided, but his tone was very gentle and he didn't seem annoyed or angry, just maybe a little sad.
I had to swallow hard before I could answer, because something about Dad tucking the blankets around me had brought a lump to my throat.
"I wasn't cold last night, and I didn't have much time to say anything this morning," I finally said.
Dad only nodded and ran his fingers through my hair. "Well, is this better?"
"Yes, thank you," I told him. "But is there anyone who could bring my clothes here?"
"Gobber's coming this afternoon," Dad replied. "I'll call and see if he can bring something. And speaking of visitors-"
He was interrupted by a knock on the door and then a woman came in. But not just any woman. She was tall and slender with long chestnut-brown hair, a thin face, and green eyes- just like mine and Dad's.
"Stoick, did you tell Hiccup that I'm here yet?"
"I was about to," Dad answered.
I could only stare, half expecting her to disappear. "Mom?"
It was really her—my mother. She wore a blue sweater and black trousers, and she came over to sit in the chair beside my bed. Her eyes were bright with tears although she tried to smile. She started to reach for my hand, but then paused and just let her own hand drop back to her side.
"Yes, it's me. How are you feeling?"
"All right," I managed to answer. "How—how are you here?"
"Well, your father called me, to let me know that you'd been hurt and of course, I came as quickly as I could."
It didn't seem like there any 'of course' about it to me, as Mom had never come to see me before and I wasn't really sure what to say or how to act around her.
There was an awkward silence and then Dad cleared his throat and turned to me. "Your mom asked if she could talk with you for a bit, so I'll go down to the cafeteria for some breakfast." He paused and looked at me questioningly. "If you're all right with it?"
I wasn't exactly sure, but I supposed I was curious about what Mom had to say. In any case, it would have been awkward for me to refuse. So I nodded and Dad left, promising to be back in a little while.
Mom and I just looked at each other, until finally she said softly, "Hiccup, I owe you a huge apology. I know I'm a terrible mom. I don't even deserve to be called your mom because I've never been there for you. But when I left, I didn't intend to abandon you. I thought that your father and I would share custody. I never imagined that all these years would go by like this."
But they had. Mom and I talked sometimes on the phone and the internet, but still, she had never come here in person before. I knew she lived a long way from here, but you'd think in fourteen years she could have come to visit me at least once or twice.
"So what happened?" I had to ask.
She abruptly stood up and paced around the room a couple times before returning to drop back in the chair with a weary sigh.
"Long ago, before I was born, my parents had another baby, a little girl who was born with a damaged heart and only lived for a few weeks. So a few years afterwards, when I was born and I was healthy, they were overjoyed. But they were also very over-protective, and they never really worked through it."
Mom smiled rather sadly. "I think they would have wrapped me in cotton-wool and never let me out of their sight, if they could have done that. So I grew up being accustomed to my parents always worrying and never wanting me to do anything. Naturally I rebelled, and I also grew accustomed to just going ahead and doing things-and luckily, it usually worked out and everything was all right."
Well, that was interesting, but I wasn't sure exactly what it had to do with Mom and me, until she continued.
"When I was expecting you and Dr. Gothburg told me I needed to go on bed rest, I felt the same way-like she and your father were just being over-protective worrywarts. I thought I might as well humor them, but being on bed-rest for months is difficult. When I heard that my favorite dragon was ill, I thought I could go visit him without it being a big deal."
She shook her head. "I can't believe how stupid I was, but I truly never thought that I was endangering you. I thought I could be careful and everything would be fine. I was absolutely horrified, and crushed with guilt, when you were so premature and we were afraid you might die or have permanent health problems."
"Your father was furious and he blamed me—and he was right. I blamed myself too. It was my fault and I have no excuse. But that didn't help our marriage."
I looked down, feeling terribly guilty myself. If they hadn't had me, maybe my parents would still be together.
Mom must have guessed what I was thinking because she reached for my hand and quickly said, "None of that was your fault, Hiccup. Don't think that for one minute. Your father and I were thrilled to have you. We wanted you so much."
She made a face. "But we were having troubles even before we found out we were expecting you. We were both so young when we got married and we had only met each other a month before. The truth is, we were young fools in love and we didn't take the time to really get to know each other, to have serious discussions about what we expected from marriage and from each other. And when we discovered that we expected different things, we were too stubborn and immature to compromise."
"It was entirely our own fault that our marriage broke down," She repeated firmly. "But when I was offered the position at the dragon preserve, I felt that it was the best thing for me to leave. I hated to leave you. It broke my heart. But I had put your life in danger and done nothing except cause you pain. I thought you were better off here with your father, at least while you were young. You needed to be near the doctors who had cared for you, not out in the middle of a dragon preserve."
"I did think we would visit, maybe spend part of the year together, as you grew older," Mom sighed. "But your father was always afraid you would get sick or hurt around the dragons, and I guess I was afraid that he was right. What if something did happen to you while you were with me? I could never forgive myself. I guess that's why I never even came here to see you. I told myself that you were better off without me, that I was a terrible mother, and it became self-fulfilling."
Mom looked at me sadly. "But when your father called a few days ago and told me that you had almost died, I knew then what a horrible mistake I had made and I knew that, even if it's too late and you can't forgive me, that I needed to come here. I needed to see you and speak with you."
She hesitated. "I needed to tell you that I love you, and I hope that we can be part of each other's lives from now on."
I wasn't sure what to say. I guess I could understand Mom's reasoning, in a way, but it still hurt. Maybe she hadn't intended to abandon me, but she had. We were virtually strangers and I didn't know how to respond.
It occurred to me how odd-and hurtful-it was that both of my parents said how much they had always loved me, and yet until last night when Dad and I had reconciled, I had always felt so unloved.
"I understand if you don't want that though," Mom said after a minute, in a very quiet voice. "I know I don't deserve another chance. Maybe I shouldn't have even asked."
I was quiet, trying to sort out my feelings. It seemed as if my whole world had turned upside-down lately. I had known right away that I wanted to be close to Dad. It had been easy to give him another chance. But I just wasn't sure about Mom.
I didn't want to hurt her, and it was nice that she had flown here to be with me when I was injured. But it didn't really make up for the fact that she had been absent for most of my life. Unlike Dad, I didn't really blame her for my being born prematurely. I could understand how she had felt. It had been a stupid mistake, but I believed that she had never intended for any harm to come to me and after all, I've made some stupid mistakes myself.
For me, the issue was with her leaving and barely having any contact with me for years and years.
And yet, somehow, I didn't want to just cut her out of my life.
So finally I raised my eyes to hers, and I was surprised at how anxious and sad she looked.
"I'm glad you came," I told her softly. "Maybe we could try getting to know each other better and see what happens."
Mom's whole face lit up. "Thank you, Hiccup. That would be wonderful."
For a minute, I thought she was going to hug me, which I guess would have been nice but maybe also a little awkward. Maybe she thought so too, because she only squeezed my hand gently. But she was still holding it when Dad came back in a short time later.
"Perhaps I should have shared your porridge and gelatin, Hiccup," He remarked. "Their eggs and bacon might have been a little better, but the cafeteria isn't a five-star restaurant, and that's for sure."
I thought it seemed like he was watching us curiously, trying to gauge how we were getting along, without being too obvious about it. We all realized at the same time that there was only one chair in the room.
Mom started to stand up. "Here, I'll just—"
But Dad motioned for her to keep it. "No, it's fine. I'll sit here next to Hiccup."
He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and took my other hand. "Are you feeling all right?" He asked me. "Still cold?"
I shook my head. "Not anymore. The blankets helped a lot."
It occurred to me that it was the first time in my life that the three of us had been together-well, the first time since I was old enough to remember it, anyway. It seemed like it should be a momentous occasion, but my parents were both pretty quiet. I guess they didn't know what to say to each other either, but at least they weren't arguing.
I wanted to stay awake and be part of it all, but I was very tired. I liked having both Mom and Dad with me, but to be honest, there wasn't much going on, what with them just sitting there quietly. It was nice to have both of them holding my hands.
I drifted off thinking that thought.
When I opened my eyes again, Mom had left, but Dad was still there. He had moved to the chair now, and was leaning back in it, kind of slumped down. I guess he was tired too. He was
"Did Mom leave again?" I asked.
"Just for a little while," Dad reassured me. "She went to get some lunch."
"Lunch? How long was I asleep?"
Dad smiled. "Several hours."
I shook my head. "I can't believe I slept that long. I've been asleep for days."
"Don't worry about it, son. Your body needs rest to heal," Dad replied. He patted my hand and let it go, to stand up and move over to a table by the wall. "They brought you some soup and rolls a little while ago. I promised the nurse I would make sure you ate once you woke up."
He set the tray of food before me. "Has it gotten cold? I can send it back and get some more."
But the leek soup was still a little warm and I decided I didn't want to bother with sending it back and waiting for more. The soft rolls were delicious, even without any butter. Again, I offered one to Dad and this time he agreed to share one of the rolls.
"These are pretty good," he remarked.
"Do you want another one?" The rolls weren't very big and I had several.
"No thanks, son. Gobber should be here soon and while he's with you, I'll find something to eat then. Your mom has a room in the hotel across the street and she's offered to let me shower and clean up over there. Will you be all right with Gobber for a little while?" Dad asked.
I nodded. "Yeah." I hesitated. "You don't have to stay. I know it must be really hard for you staying in the hospital all this time. If you wanted to go home…"
"Hiccup." Dad reached over to place both hands on my shoulders and squeezed gently. "I'm staying right here at the hospital with you until you can come home. I want to be here for you. I love you, son."
"Are you sure—that you want to stay here, I mean?"
"Wild dragons couldn't drag me away," Dad said firmly. Then he leaned over and kissed my forehead. "And I love you with all my heart."
I swallowed and tried to smile. "I love you too."
Dad smiled too, and I noticed that his eyes sort of crinkled up. I realized that I hadn't really seen him smile often before. He lightly squeezed my shoulders again before sitting back in the chair. "Well, finish your soup or it will get cold."
So I finished eating. Dad had just set the tray back on the table by the wall, when there was a knock on the door and Gobber threw it open.
"Why didn't anyone invite me to this party?!"
Author's Notes: Once again, I'm so sorry for the long delay. We've had some changes at work—my husband and I work for the same company. It's doing well, but we are understaffed right now and working long hours. It's affecting my time and my energy. Thank you all for your patience and understanding.
I had planned to wrap up the hospital scenes with this chapter, but then Hiccup and Valka had things they needed to discuss and wouldn't be rushed. So the next chapter will feature Gobber and more surprise visitors!
