Tuffnut rose out of bed early in the morning. Throughout the night, he could barely sleep. His mind was whirling with ideas for creating the perfect explosion. His magnum opus, if you will.
So, there he sat, stroking Chicken in his arms as he monologued his ideas to the roosting bird and hastily got dressed. Ruffnut wouldn't be awake for the next few hours; the Twins both slept like deaf rocks, so he wasn't really worried about accidentally waking her up with all the noise.
After finally getting dressed, he stepped out of the hut, and with a cackle, hurried towards the storage unit where they kept all of their pranking equipment.
When he opened the door, what he saw shook him to the very core.
Hiccup was shaking.
Truth be told, he really didn't know why. He'd seen worse things. A lot worse things. He'd faced the Red Death, he'd faced all those times with Viggo or Dagur, and he'd even almost drowned, for Asgard's sake! More than once, too!
But somehow, this one specific, stupid, inconsequential thing had managed to make him feel sick.
Toothless nudged him with his nuzzle, letting out a low rumble of concern, as well as barely-concealed rage at the man responsible for causing his beloved Rider so much distress.
For painted on the door of Hiccup's hut, in bright, bold, red, capital runes, was the word, "USELESS."
"¡Buenos días!" Called Ruffnut's voice as she casually strode into the storage warehouse situated next to her and her brother's hut. Slipping into foreign languages was more Tuff's thing, but she was feeling a bit adventurous today. Having woken up and seen her twin's bed empty, she figured he must've gotten up early for some kind of special prank, and she so wanted in.
She was expecting to see some weird new doohickey loaded with gunpowder, suspiciously strange-looking slime, and all sorts of cool things that could potentially make a huge explosion.
What she was not expecting to see was the warehouse being completely empty, save for Tuffnut crying on the floor, rocking back and forth with Chicken in his arms, ash and dust everywhere, and the word, "Tears," scribbled all over the walls.
Oh, Dogsbreath was going down.
Nearly everyone was gathered at the clubhouse. Excluding Snotlout, because he apparently needed his beauty sleep, and excluding Dogsbreath, for obvious reasons, which were being shouted from all angles.
"He poisoned me with Triple Stryke venom!"
"He made Tuff cry!"
"He blew up all of our blowing-stuff-up gear!" Tuffnut wailed, as if that was the most horrific tragedy of the world.
"Some might say the lack of dangerous explosives is a good thing," Hiccup sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He then looked towards Astrid expectantly, as if waiting for her to say something.
"And, you?" Hiccup asked, "Any recent 'pranks' you'd like to report, Milady?"
"None," Astrid replied, crossing her arms, "I just want to boot him off this island 'cuz he's a muttonhead."
"Understatement of the year!" Ruffnut exclaimed. Toothless let out a growl of agreement, leading Astrid to tilt her head back towards her betrothed. If Toothless was mad, too, then Hiccup must've been 'pranked' as well.
"What about you?" Astrid asked as all eyes turned towards Hiccup, "Don't tell me nothing happened, you were Dogsbreath's worst victim when we were kids."
"Nothing.." Hiccup paused as Astrid narrowed her eyes, "..major. Nothing major, it wasn't a big deal!"
Toothless let out a growl of dissent, causing Astrid to narrow her eyes further.
"Okay," Hiccup relented, "So he may-or-may-not have painted the word, 'Useless,' on my door in big red runes, i-i-it's not a big deal!"
"Not a big deal?" Astrid replied incredulously, "Hiccup, that is a huge deal!"
"Oh, that is a low blow," Fishlegs agreed, taking Astrid's side, "Very low."
"So," Ruffnut clapped her hands together, "Who's up for murdering Dogsbreath?"
"Me!" Tuffnut responded, raising his hand, "I vote for tossing him into a volcano."
"No, we are not tossing anyone into a volcano," Hiccup cut in, standing up, "We're not murdering anyone, either."
"Aw, man.."
"Look, I-I-I'll just go talk to Snotlout about it," He said, thoughtfully, "I mean, Dogsbreath listens to Snotlout more than any of us, and Snotlout's our friend! He can't be that oblivious, can he?"
"You sure you want an answer to that?" Astrid raised an eyebrow, "Snotlout looks like he's seen the third coming of Thor Bonecrusher!"
"Yeah, and we're not ten-year-olds anymore!" Ruffnut pointed out, "We're all over eighteen! We're, like, adults now. Dog-butt can't push us around like this!"
Okay, everyone had a point. Truth be told, he was getting tired of Dogsbreath's utter nastiness as well. But so far, he hadn't really done anything to really hurt anyone. Physically, that is. The Triple Stryke venom that he got Fishlegs with was so diluted that the symptoms amounted to nothing more than a mild headache. And Dogsbreath was still a guest, so he couldn't deal out punishments such as longer patrols like he normally did with Snotlout or the Twins.
But he couldn't just let all of this slide, either. This was getting way out of hand, and Dogsbreath had to be held accountable.
"Alright," Hiccup sighed, "I'll think of something, he's not gonna get away scot-free. But I'm still going to talk to Snotlout about it in the meantime, alright?"
"Fine," Astrid agreed, after much reluctance, "But you're not going back to your hut with that word painted on your door."
"Good thing we have Barf and Belch!" Ruffnut stated, "We blew up our old warehouse, and we can blow up your door if ya' want!"
"Pleasesayyes!" Tuffnut squeaked.
"Go ahead, I've been meaning to rebuild that anyway."
