Title: Belong
Series: T'narr & Jaythen
Chapter Summary: Pre-TPM. The first in the series. A master takes on the training of an emotionally torn padawan.
"Take a break, Jaythen. I've been summoned to see Master Yoda. I won't be long. You have free time until I return."
Jaythen Talari made an awkward bow towards his master. His focus was so much on making the bow correct that it was unbalanced, and he had to take a hop to the right to maintain himself. His master's grey eyes smiled before he hurried off to meet with the elder Council member. Jaythen didn't know what to do while he waited. Free time meant he could do whatever he wished, within the rules of course, but he didn't know any of the other padawans in the gym and most were older. With a glance around, he spotted an empty bench on the far wall. He watched the other students practicing. Some were very advanced. Others worked to perfect the weaknesses in their sparring and tumbling skills. The practice arena hummed with the sound of training sabers. Blue and green flashed and clashed and melded together. Jaythen found it fascinating, but he was also envious. He wondered if he'd ever find the same smoothness with a saber that so many of the trainees seemed to possess. That oneness that a Jedi must have with his weapon in order to protect and defend himself and so many others.
Lost in thought, he was startled by a voice next to him.
"Hi."
Turning, he saw a teenaged apprentice with short ginger hair looking at him. He returned the greeting and bowed his head.
The older boy snorted a laugh. "Bowing is only for masters. I saw you sparring."
Jaythen immediately lowered his head. "Oh, you did? I'm not very good right now."
"You'll get better. You looked nervous is all."
"I was. I am."
"I'm Ob-Wan."
The name was familiar. "I'm Jaythen. My master is T'narr Kresson."
"Really?" Obi-Wan was shocked to hear of Kresson's taking of an apprentice. He was well known throughout the temple as excelling in solo missions and having many times turned down the opportunity of training a padawan.
"Yes," the younger Jedi said, noting Obi-Wan's surprised expression. "It's only been a month though. I guess that's why I'm so nervous."
"It's natural. You're his first apprentice, and you're very young."
"I'm eight."
"I started my training very late. I was almost thirteen when Master Qui-Gon took me as a padawan."
Upon hearing the name, Jaythen knew immediately why Obi-Wan's name was familiar. Qui-Gon Jinn was a name that all apprentices knew. He was often a name invoked by Master Yoda when teaching younglings about the living force. He was an intimidating figure, even by name only.
Obi-Wan noted the reaction to Qui-Gon's name and grinned. "The stories about him are somewhat exaggerated."
"I don't know if my master and are meant to be paired," Jaythen suddenly blurted out without warning. "I feel awkward around him. I'm not sure what to do or say."
"Master Qui-Gon and I went through an entire year like that."
Jaythen shrugged and was then taken aback by his own next remark. "I don't think I'm ready to be an apprentice, Obi-Wan." His emerald green eyes completely serious in their expression.
"What?"
"I'm…I'm sorry. I don't even know you or why I'm telling you this. I should go. Thank you for talking to me." On the other side of the gym, he saw Master T'narr return and hurried over.
Obi-Wan's puzzled appearance was the cause for curiosity by Qui-Gon when the older Jedi sat down next to him. "Padawan. Who was that?"
"Master Kresson's apprentice." Obi-Wan knew that would catch Qui-Gon off guard. And it did.
"His what?"
"It's true. That's Jaythen. He said they've been together a month, and he's not sure he's ready to be an apprentice. He's very nervous, Master. And…something else. I felt something from him. A sadness or a fear. Something from his past perhaps."
"Obi-Wan you shouldn't be…"
"I didn't invade, Master. It was out there. You would have felt it too."
The pair stood and watched young Jaythen looking up at T'narr for instruction. The master was patient, but it wasn't difficult to see how unbalanced they were together. Qui-Gon put a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and directed him out of the gym. "Never thought I'd see the day when T'narr would take an apprentice."
"Do you know him well, Master?"
"We've spoken a few times. Casual friends, I guess you could say. He's a little younger than I am. We had two missions together during my days between Xanatos and you. Nothing extreme. He could have controlled the missions alone actually. He specializes in handling tense situations with words. He reads people better than anyone I've ever seen. Which makes his pairing with young Jaythen all the more confusing. He's never seemed to need anyone. I thought he'd be on his own forever."
"Maybe he got lonely," the younger of the pair said matter-of-factly.
Qui-Gon smiled as they left the sparring gym and gave Obi-Wan's shoulder a firm squeeze. "Maybe so. Go get cleaned up, we're visiting Dex this evening for dinner. Cafeteria food is wearing on me. I need something fattening and unhealthy."
"I like the sound of that, Master. But I wish the Council would send us out soon. It does get a little monotonous being in the temple for an extended period."
"Patience, Obi-Wan. Patience."
As usual, Dex's Diner was alive with activity, but he always had a seat for his old friend Qui-Gon Jinn. He swallowed the Jedi in an enormous hug and an earth shattering slap on the back. Obi-Wan prepared himself for the same, flinching at the enthusiasm, but always appreciating Dex's joy for life and friends.
As they ate, Qui-Gon glanced around the small establishment. His eyes caught the unmistakable black hair and ear feathers of T'narr Kresson. There was no sign of his apprentice however. Excusing himself from Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon walked over to the other Jedi's table. "May I join you?"
T'narr looked up. His black hair contrasting his grey eyes. He wore his hair in a single thick braid down his back. A feather secured behind each ear; white on the left and gray on the right. The way of his people, he would tell those who asked. Also native to his home world Kembar Lune were the tribal paintings that covered most of his body. Only his face and palms visibly held no markings. T'narr was soft spoken and intent in his listening. Never was a word or a meaning missed. Never was an emotion overlooked.
He glanced up at the voice. "Qui-Gon! It's good to see you. Please, sit. Where's your apprentice?"
"Oh, we have a table over there. He's probably taking advantage of my absence to order every sugar filled dessert on the menu. And I saw today that you have taken an apprentice. He's not with you this evening?"
"I did. Jaythen. No, he said he wasn't feeling well. Dex is grabbing a take-away meal for me. I'm not here long. I told Jaythen about this place, but he seemed nervous about visiting. He's nervous a lot."
"Obi-Wan mentioned that. He met Jaythen today in the sparring gym. They talked for a while."
"He's a good boy, Qui-Gon. Just not sure if I'm suited for this master stuff. Or for him. He may need more help than I can give him." He paused before realizing that he'd begun to burden his fellow Jedi with his problems. "Sorry, you don't need to hear about this."
There was a feeling that T'narr wanted to talk and just needed an outlet. Qui-Gon knew they were no more than informal friends, but as Obi-Wan had said about Jaythen, there was something here that was easy to read, so Jinn carefully pushed forward. "I was surprised to see you'd taken an apprentice. You've been so successful on your own for so long. What changed?"
"I was approached by Master Yoda. Jaythen had some…trauma issues when he was younger. Yoda thinks he's emotionally scarred. And the Council was on the verge of ending his training and probably sending him to the agricorps. Not sure why I agreed to this really. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not built for being a master. I'm so used to working alone and only having to look after me." Emotions swelled inside of T'narr. They conflicted with one another, each taking its turn as the dominant. He was as confused as his apprentice. "I just…when Yoda asked me to observe him, I felt something. It was very brief, but it was there. Though I don't even know what it was. Maybe I just felt sorry for him. Qui-Gon, you and I have worked together on a few times, but even you are aware of how well I can read people. I can't read Jaythen like that. There's a wall there I can't climb. He tries so hard, but we are out of sort with each other. I think I may have made a mistake in agreeing to his training. Perhaps I should speak with Master Yoda tomorrow."
Silence fell over the two Jedi as Qui-Gon tried to think of a way to change T'narr's mind.
"Obi-Wan and I started off badly. Took us a year almost to figure each other out. I had more doubts than you can imagine. But he's sixteen now. We kept at it, and each gave a little. We worked it out. Perhaps Jaythen needs the same chance?"
"I don't know," T'narr remarked as Dex's waitress dropped off a white container with his food order. "I just don't know."
Qui-Gon knew it was not his place to push anymore than he already had. If they'd been close friends for years, he would probably have the nerve to question T'narr's decision, but he had no right to intrude where he didn't belong. "Well, I see that Obi-Wan has inhaled another pala cake. I'd better stop him before he explodes." He stood. "I don't mean to interfere in private matters, T'narr."
"Actually I appreciate that you are concerned. Thank you. I probably should think about this before I make any rash decisions. Any decision I make has to be what is best for me and for Jaythen. He needs someone. I do know that. I'm just not sure if that someone is me."
"Why don't you bring him to the gym tomorrow evening around seven. Obi-Wan's been sparring with his friend Taj this week since we've not been assigned a mission. Might be good for Jaythen if he's with a smaller group. Could help him focus better."
T'narr nodded. "That might do us both good. And if you're available to talk…"
"Obi-Wan and Taj can work with him while you and I talk, if you'd like."
"That might be helpful, Qui-Gon. Thank you." He stood. "I should get back to Jaythen now and make sure he's well. Before the food gets cold. See you tomorrow evening then?"
Qui-Gon bid him goodbye with a slight nod and returned to his own apprentice, who was now positioned with the side of his face laying flat on the table. He was groaning and holding his stomach.
"Problem, Padawan?"
"Too many pala cakes. But I beat Taj's record."
"You torture yourself to eat more cakes than Taj?"
"Yes, Master."
"How many did you eat?"
"Nine."
"Obi-Wan."
"I feel sick, Master."
"You've earned this one. Let's pay the tab and get home. I've got a job for you and Taj tomorrow evening. Come on."
Obi-Wan moaned and groaned the entire way home, threw up in the toilet and then fell into bed. The pain though was worth the record.
"Don't think about the moves, Jaythen. Just flow with them. I think you're concerned with how accurate they are rather than working with the force and letting it happen." Obi-Wan nodded for the younger apprentice to come at him again. "Loosen your hands. Don't strangle the hilt. See how white your knuckles are?"
Jaythen gnawed on his bottom lip anxiously as Obi-Wan spoke. Then, looking at his hands, he saw what the other was talking about. The normally medium brown skin of his hands was shades lighter. He'd claimed a death grip on the saber hilt. "I never noticed that. I guess I'm worried that I might mess up."
"You will mess up. But that's normal. I still mess up. Even Master Qui-Gon messes up. Well, not often, but he does. He'll never admit it though," he finished with a wink. "I've been in your shoes. I was so worried about doing things wrong, and worried that my master would be disappointed in me for mistakes, that I ended up being a flurry of mistakes."
Swinging his saber around again, Jaythen loosened his mind and body. It made a difference. He almost scored a point on the older padawan.
"That was great, Jaythen! You caught me off guard. Feels different, doesn't it?"
"Yes," he replied stepping close to his new friend and lowering his voice. "But why couldn't Master T'narr show me those things that you just did?"
"He's never had an apprentice. Maybe he's not sure how it all works. Maybe he's afraid to push. Maybe, like you, he's trying so hard at doing things exactly the right way, that he's not seeing your nerves and concerns. I'm guessing, but he seems like a good person. Master Qui-Gon holds him in great respect. Even the best of Jedi aren't perfect though." Obi-Wan watched the boy absorb what he was saying, pleased that Qui-Gon had trusted him enough to allow him to work with a younger apprentice. And secretly he felt a little proud of himself for how he was dealing with the situation. True he wasn't yet seventeen, but to an insecure eight year old like Jaythen, relating to a fellow apprentice was sometimes easier than relating to an older master Jedi. "You want to try again?"
The younger learner smiled. His short black hair was soaked with sweat, but he was enjoying Obi-Wan's company and instruction. Their sabers clashed and another mock battle was initiated.
On the other side of the gym, Qui-Gon stood with T'narr watching the pair. "He's loosened up. I can feel it. Obi-Wan's good with him, Qui-Gon. A natural teacher. You should be proud."
"Obi-Wan can be a handful, and has his issues, but he's maturing into an excellent Jedi. He seems to have found a way to ease Jaythen's mind a bit."
T'narr sighed. "A responsibility that should be mine. I shouldn't need another apprentice to break through to my own apprentice."
"You're trying too hard, T'narr," Qui-Gon said bluntly. "Just like Jaythen is. You saw how tense he was. Look at him now. He reverts back to it, but then catches himself, and it becomes much easier after that. You're doing the same thing. I can feel it surrounding you. Tension. Anxiety. You worry you will do something to hurt him emotionally. I remember you mentioned something about him being traumatized when he was younger. I suspect that's what has you concerned. Emotionally, he's not completely stable. That scares you."
Thinking about Qui-Gon's words, T'narr wanted to disagree with them, but he found that he couldn't. Unlike the Council and some other Jedi, he was an emotional person. He could not hide that. But he'd learned how to accept and deal with his emotions in his own way. Dealing with Jaythen's was an entirely different game. The boy had issues in his past. How big of an influence they would be on his future was the mystery. T'narr wasn't certain how to deal with those issues, and it lead to exactly what Qui-Gon had said. Tension and anxiety that influenced the way he'd been relating to and training his student. He looked at Qui-Gon and sighed. "Jaythen can probably see that exact same thing in me that you see, can't he?"
"I'm not too certain. He has his own anxieties." The next question, Qui-Gon asked carefully. Walking in the emotional path of others was not his normal routine, but feeling that he and T'narr had connected enough in these last couple of hours, he decided it was for the best to not leave it unasked. "I want to ask, and if I'm getting too personal, just tell me to back off. What…"
"You are curious about the traumas he's been through?"
Qui-Gon nodded.
"There were three. And I've not really asked Jaythen about them. I guess I'm afraid to, not knowing what his reaction might be." T'narr took a deep breath, while at the same time grinning towards his apprentice who'd almost scored another point on Obi-Wan. "The Jedi didn't take him until he was two years old. His parents didn't let him go. They were killed by raiders when he was two. Killed in front of him, from what I understand. Yoda says he remembers the day and the events. As he's gotten older, the force has made his memory of that time more graphic and detailed." Qui-Gon grimaced slightly as T'narr continued. "The second trauma was two years ago when another boy in his class, Jaythen's closest friend, Kele – his only friend really - died unexpectedly in his sleep after bumping his head several days earlier. The head trauma didn't materialize until it was too late. Jaythen was the one who tried to wake him the next morning, before understanding that his friend was dead. Then the third event was last year, he was seven. You remember the fire in the crèche? The crèche master that was killed, Valree. That was Jaythen's assigned caretaker. He'd been with her since coming to the temple, and she was so important in his dealing with Kele's death. Then he watched her die." He paused briefly, took a deep breath, then finished. "That's what I'm afraid of Qui-Gon. I'm afraid of his past and what it means to his future."
There was silence between them lasting moments. Both sets of eyes rested on the two padawans in the middle of the gym. They'd given up sparring and were practicing force-aided somersaults. Obi-Wan's best friend, Taj had come in a few minutes prior and wasted no time joining the others. "He seems a natural at making friends."
"He has no friends his own age. Since Valree died, he's isolated himself from his age-mates. I spoke to Healer Terran. He says that emotionally Jaythen is not as mature as he probably should be. But also that it's normal considering what he's been through. He's also small for his age and as you can see. And thin too. Not much appetite since I've known him, though he did eat what I bought him from Dex's last night."
"If he could resist Dex's food, then I'd say there was definitely something wrong with him," Qui-Gon said lightheartedly
"Very true," T'narr said with a slight smile. "But you can see my problem. It's not him. It's me. He's polite. Eager to please. He listens intently and learns fast. He truly wants to do the best that he can. And I'm seeing right now that under that tension-filled shell, he's genuinely happy." The bench behind them was empty and T'narr took a seat, letting his head fall into his hands. "I still don't know what to do, Qui-Gon. Is it best for the both of us that I stick with this and train him? Or would he be better with a master who is more…emotionally qualified?"
"Let me ask you this. Are there other masters who might want to take him on? I'm wondering why Yoda asked you to train him."
The dark-haired Jedi lifted his head, and shook a 'no' in response. "I'm almost certain that I'm his only chance. And it was a decision made by Yoda alone, without the approval of the rest of the Council." T'narr closed his eyes, beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Qui-Gon placed a supporting hand on the man's shoulder. "Tell me what you think."
"He would be devastated if he had to leave the Jedi and go to the agricorps. Being a Jedi is all he knows. But he'd go. And he'd work hard. That's just what he is." The boy in question, still working with Obi-Wan, was a blurry figure now to the master. T'narr blinked rapidly. "This is what I'm talking about. How do I handle the emotions of an eight year old traumatized boy?"
"Just the way you are," Qui-Gon said. "You need to share this part of you with him. You need to share your fears with him. He needs to share them with you. I've been through difficult years with my students. I lost the emotional battle with my first apprentice Xanatos because he shut me off. I almost lost Obi-Wan because I shut him off. It wasn't until we both shared our fears and our issues, that we began making progress and moving forward. Your situation is different, but similar. He wants to please you, T'narr. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. I can hear it under his uncertain words. Most importantly, I can feel it around him."
A small voice broke their discussion. "Are you all right, Master?" Jaythen had felt something in the force coming from his teacher and had hurried over. The boy's green eyes were filled with concern.
T'narr didn't know why, but he let out a small laugh and looked directly at his apprentice. His apprentice. Then he smiled through an escaped tear. "I'm all right, Jaythen. Thank you for your concern."
"You look sad, Master."
"Not sad, just…a little anxious is all."
"Me too. I'm anxious all the time!" Jaythen surprised himself with the admittance. He'd never told his master something so personal, although he suspected T'narr could feel those nerves coming from him. It wasn't easy for a boy of his age to hide such things. What surprised him even more was that he felt a little better by saying that to his teacher. It was almost as if a weight, one of many still weighing him down, had been lifted from his shoulders.
Qui-Gon found himself grinning. He'd just seen the first step on a very long path. He patted T'narr on the knee. "I think your decision was just decided."
"I think so too." He turned his full attention back to Jaythen. "Why don't you enjoy yourself for a bit longer before we call it a night."
"Yes, Master," Jaythen beamed, happy to have more time with Obi-Wan and Taj. "Thank you." He bounded away and fell back into the somersaulting game.
Another deep breath. There had been a lot of those recently, T'narr thought. Certainly more to come. "Thank you, Qui-Gon. I think Jaythen and I need to talk."
"Yes. And ask Terran about a healer named Risha Yarr. She's part of that emotional trauma team that's been so successful. She's not officially a healer, but she's very good at what she does. Obi-Wan and Taj were involved in helping her get a young padawan out of an abusive relationship. That same padawan is now part of the trauma team and under Yarr's continued care. He's doing quite well from what I gather. That was a bit over two years ago. Might be a good person for Jaythen to know." Qui-Gon then motioned towards Obi-Wan to wrap up the session.
Jaythen said goodbye to his new friends before returning to his teacher. "I really like them, Master. They don't treat me like there is something wrong with me, like my age-mates do. And they're fun."
"They treat you that way, because there is nothing wrong with you, Padawan." It was the first time T'narr had actually used the affectionate term 'padawan' towards his new learner. It was a term that had scared him because it would mean the beginning of an emotional bond with the boy. That fear was less now. Not gone. Certainly not gone. But it was time for him to take his place as Jaythen's master. It was time for him to accept that emotional bond.
The moniker made Jaythen smile. He chewed on his bottom lip to try and stop the tears. He'd never been comfortable with how easily he could become emotional. As an eight year old Jedi, he thought maybe he was too old to cry. Some of his crèche-mates often teased him about it. But seeing the evidence of the tears on T'narr's face earlier…well, it made him not so certain that one could ever be too old to cry. It made him a little less sensitive about it, at least for the moment.
In response, T'narr put an arm around the small shoulders and they made their way home.
When they arrived in their quarters, Jaythen was quick to get cleaned up with a hot refreshing shower. It was late enough afterwards, and he was worn out from the exhausting training session. He asked his master if he could turn in for the night. T'narr nodded and wished him a good rest. But something nagged at the older Jedi. The nagging was the talk he wanted to have with Jaythen. He should wait until tomorrow, until the boy was well rested. Waiting however did not appear to be an option and T'narr mentally berated himself for it. It was unlike him to suddenly lose the ability to remain patient about something – about anything. The ability to wait things out was one of his most potent qualities as a Jedi. He'd waited out some of the most infamous rulers in the galaxy when it came to negotiations. Yet, now he couldn't wait a few hours to speak with an eight year old child.
Opening Jaythen's bedroom door an hour later, he knocked on the side wall. There was no surprise that his learner was still awake as he'd already sensed it. Seems neither of them could completely settle this evening.
The light from outside the room cascaded gently onto the bed where Jaythen lay, tucked in, but wide awake. "Yes, Master?"
"Jaythen, we need to talk." T'narr ushered himself in, and raised the lights in the room to a dim brightness that was easy on the eyes. "I wanted to wait until tomorrow, but I find that I'm unable to do that."
"I have trouble with patience too sometimes, Master."
T'narr exhaled a half laugh under his breath. "Normally patience is not a problem for me. This time though it seems impossible." The edge of the bed sank slightly under his weight as he made himself comfortable. "I need to be completely honest with you, Jaythen. I've not been sure about this relationship. I've not been sure about us. When Master Yoda told me about you, well…I hesitated greatly before I agreed. And he told me that if I didn't feel this would work, that he would allow me to discontinue your training."
The words made the young Jedi cringe. The word 'agricorps' had never really left his thoughts in the last month. He knew that T'narr Kresson was about to let him go. And as quickly as that, his emotions began welling to the surface. Eyes glassed over and all he could do is nod and try not to cry.
Realizing what his words had sounded like, T'narr worked quickly to correct them upon seeing the reaction. "Oh, no no no, Jaythen. This is good news. I'm sorry. I didn't start this right. I'm not giving you up. I…sorry. I'm not good at this."
Jaythen's eyes cleared some. "You mean you do want to be my master? I won't have to go to the agricorps?"
"Jaythen, I do many things well. I've brought peace to planets. I've stopped interplanetary war. I've forced violent leaders to come together and talk without fighting. But this whole master thing. Training one so young, sharing my life with you…it's difficult. Maybe the most difficult thing I've ever done. One would think I could handle a boy your age, right?"
The boy smiled and shrugged against his pillow.
"Truthfully, I'm nervous about your past. Yoda told me what you've been through. And I've reasoned that I'm not the correct person to help you deal with such things. I'm used to me. At my age, suddenly having a tiny shadow following me and teetering on my ever word or action – it's intense just thinking about it. But after seeing you with Obi-Wan, talking with Qui-Gon, and finally understanding that you are just as scared as I am, I think I'm ready to take on this on - if you'll have me."
In response, Jaythen pushed his blanket off and threw his arms around T'narr's neck in a fierce hug.
"I'll take that as a yes then?"
"Yes, Master," came the boy's muffled reply. Then he let go. "I'm really scared too, Master. Just like you said. I don't think I know everything I should at my age. And I have trouble sometimes…I get upset fast sometimes. My age-mates used to tease me when I cried. They…they weren't very nice to me." He sat back against the headboard. "I won't let you down, though Master T'narr. I won't. I'll try hard and work hard. Just…don't die, okay?"
That last part came as a shock, though it shouldn't have. Everyone Jaythen had loved - everyone that meant something to him so far in his young life had died. More than anything T'narr wanted to promise him that he'd never die. But he knew he could not. Truth would be one of the bases of their relationship. "I wish I could promise that, Jaythen. But you know as Jedi we risk our lives. Some missions are dangerous. But if you and I are strong together and look after each other, I think I'll have a long life as your teacher."
It was enough to satisfy the young nerves. "I like that, Master. Sometimes I think about my parents. I remember them, even though I was very young. I remember how they died. They died to save me. And Kele, we had such fun together, but then he was gone, and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to him. And then Master Valree, she saved so many of us, but we couldn't get back to save her in time. I wasn't strong enough to pull her out of the fire. I tried. I grabbed her hand and pulled. She was screaming. I reached for the force, but I didn't have any control. It got so hot that I had to let go of her. She was still screaming. I couldn't save her." Absently he wiped his eyes. "I loved her very much. She looked after me since I came to the temple. She loved me. And she died. Just like my parents. Just like Kele. Some nights I wake up thinking about all of them. I wake up crying. The nightmares scare me."
T'narr turned his head to the ceiling and swallowed several deep breaths. Indeed this was going to be the most difficult thing he'd ever taken on in his long and distinguished career. But as he'd told Qui-Gon, this was a good boy. He deserved a chance to be a Jedi no matter what the emotional hardships they might have to weather together. "You let me know when the nightmares come all right? Maybe I can help keep them away."
"Okay. Master, Obi-Wan told me about a friend of his who helps people like me. He's fifteen years old and has overcome a lot of things. Maybe I can talk to him?"
Funny, T'narr thought, an adult Jedi would never admit what Jaythen just did. Would never so freely ask for help from someone he didn't know. T'narr marveled at the wonder of childhood. In areas where adults were too proud or too stubborn to reach out, this boy was willingly seeking help. "You will make me proud to be your master, Jaythen. Yes, of course you can talk to him. I'll speak with Healer Terran tomorrow and see if we can't set something up soon."
"Thank you, Master. I want to get better. I don't like thinking about these bad things all the time. As much as I loved Kele, and my parents and Master Valree, I'm old enough now that I need to find myself."
"You do, but don't ever feel wrong about thinking of them, or even crying for them. They were your family. They were important to you."
"Are your parents alive, Master?"
"They are. My people have a long life span. It's not unusual for us to live 150 or more years. And many of those years are healthy ones. I visit them whenever I can."
"I'd like to meet them."
T'narr was feeling prouder by the moment. "I'd like for you to meet them. We will do that. In fact, I might talk to Yoda about it. Perhaps as part of our learning together, he might allow me a short leave of absence. If so, I can take you to my home world of Kembar Lune."
Jaythen was eager in agreeing. Since coming to the temple, he'd never been beyond its walls. Just the idea of leaving for another planet was exciting and scary at the same time.
"I will speak to Yoda. Tomorrow. After I talk to Terran. You need time before we begin missions. And leaving Coruscant can be frightening. It's best if your first time away is someplace peaceful, where you can learn and we can get used to each other. Yes, this is a good idea. I'm glad I thought of it."
The boy laughed. Though they'd been together for almost a month now, he'd never seen so much of his master. They'd never talked so much. They'd never shared so much. He never could have believed that things between them could change so drastically in less than twenty-four hours. But he liked the direction and was happy to be seeing the type of person his teacher really was.
"You laugh, but I do have good ideas now and then. I just usually don't get to share them with anyone. Until now." He then became serious. "Jaythen, I can't promise that this path will be easy. You and I have a lot to learn about this new relationship, and about the issues we both bring. I'm ready though. I know that now. We can make this work. We will make this work. So, you get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
Jaythen slid back into his bed and accepted his master tucking the blanket around him. When T'narr leaned down and placed his temple against that of the child, he held it for a moment. "Rest well, Padawan." Then the older Jedi dimmed the lights and slid the bedroom door shut, leaving his apprentice to succumb to a much needed sleep.
Master Healer Terran Va'lor's blue eyes sparkled in joy when he saw the change in the pair approaching him. He'd been surprised to receive a call from Kresson that morning. And even more surprised to hear that the Jedi would not be giving up Jaythen's training. The healer had worried about the boy's future, ready at any time to counsel him about what would be his departure from the Jedi and entry into the agricorps. But to hear this news that T'narr would remain his teacher - the day had just become a beautiful one. He could see it in the way they walked together. He could feel it in the force surrounding them. They'd found a way to bond - accepting the difficulties that were present.
Greeting T'narr with an extended hand, Terran said, "Well now, this is something I'd not expected to see, but am very happy about. You two finally look like master and apprentice."
The two Jedi smiled at the gray-haired healer, whose cheerfulness was contagious. "I just had to open my eyes and my heart a bit more and decide not to run from what one day will be my legacy." Looking down at his apprentice, T'narr gave a quick wink. "We had a little help though with clearing the path. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were most gracious in their time yesterday. And I do believe that I've found a valuable friend in Qui-Gon. And Jaythen in Obi-Wan and his friend, Taj."
Jaythen nodded. "I sparred with them and somersaulted too!"
"Better watch those two, Jaythen," Terran said drolly. "They'll suck you into their competitions without you even knowing. They're sneaky and always enjoy a good - and many times silly game, ah…I mean competition." A quick second to speak with another healer and to sign off on a procedure and Terran looked back to the boy. "So then, I understand you might want to meet a couple of our trauma team. Perhaps talk with them sometime soon?"
"I think so." The response was less enthusiastic than the previous evening, nerves again frightening him as the idea of talking to a stranger about haunting issues of his past became reality. "I mean, I think I should. But I don't know if I can. Can Master T'narr be with me?"
"Certainly. I would require it. Don't worry too much about it today though. All I want to do is introduce you. I've already spoken with Yoda. You won't be rushed into anything. A first mission is in the distance. When your master feels you are ready, only then will any mission be given. You'll have time to bond with each other, practice your sparring skills and everything else needed before you head out. It's all about time."
Nerves settled, the pair followed Terran out of the temple hospital and down the corridor.
"The trauma team has set up their office quarters down here. They used to be squeezed into the hospital, but since they've grown in numbers the last couple of years, they expanded into a larger space. Very homey and relaxing. You'll like it."
They entered and were immediately comforted by the feel of the office. Soft colors and music surrounded them. Sterile white walls and steel gray chairs were replaced by pleasant blue and generously padded lounge chairs. The walls were spotted with antique, imported framed paintings with simple patterns surrounded with an aura of peacefulness. The front desk was more suited to a family dining table than work space. Even the computer had a friendly feel to it.
Terran was impressed. "Wow. This has changed since last week. And it's making my hospital look bad," he smirked then greeted Padawan Raun at the desk. Raun was there in an internship of sorts. He was training to be a medical healer, but Terran had suggested he spend some time with the trauma team in order to get a feel of the many different areas of the healing arts.
Raun greeted the visitors. "Healer Terran. It's good to see you again, sir."
"You as well, Raun. Going well here?"
"Yes, sir. I never realized there were so many Jedi who had such intensely difficult issues. This has opened my eyes a great deal."
"Glad to hear it. From all reports, you seem to be doing a fine job. Is Risha in?"
"She's in the beige room, sir. You're all welcome to go back."
"The beige room?"
"Oh, Risha decided to redo the rooms. Instead of numbering them, she's had them all painted different soothing colors. And now we refer to them by color. It's been quite a conversation starter with her patients."
"I see. She's trying to make me look bad again, isn't she?" Terran's tone was light and Padawan Raun laughed and pointed them to the beige room where they were welcomed immediately by Risha Yarr, her silver hair enjoying the easy light of the room, and blending nicely with her well tanned skin. Matching silver eyes smiled at the visitors.
"Terran! You're becoming a regular here. Jealous of my new digs?"
"If only I had so much leisure time to spare painting rooms and renaming them." The healer sparred back in good-natured humor. He and Risha had become good friends in the last few years and often met for dinner to swap stories and share ideas. "Risha Yarr, this is Master T'narr Kresson and his apprentice, Jaythen Talari."
Long straight hair fell over her eyes as she turned towards the smallest of the group. She pushed it behind her ears. "Jaythen. I remember you. You came to the hospital after the crèche fire last year. Treated for burns. And now you're a padawan. Congratulations! It's a big step, isn't it?"
"Yes, ma'am," Jaythen said shyly, trying very hard not to remember that time of the fire. He didn't know that Risha brought it up intentionally to see his reaction. She knew his issues from her talks with Terran. This was her way of subtly learning about a new client without them really knowing she was doing it. It didn't go unnoticed, as there was a slight glaze over of the boy's green eyes, though he successfully contained any tears that might have fallen.
"Ma'am? Nah, that's for old women. I'm still young and spry. At least I think I am. Others may not think so. But that's their problem. Call me Risha. None of that Master stuff either. How do you like my place here? Comfy, isn't it?"
"Yes, Risha. It's relaxing. More relaxing than my own bedroom."
She leaned down to the young Jedi and whispered in his ear. "Might be a good time to hit your master up for an upgrade of your bedroom then, huh? How about some painted walls and…oh, never mind. If Yoda ever found out, he'd start spouting off backwards about when he was a padawan, there were no walls or colors, or whatever. He's an odd sort. Ignore that. Okay then. You need to meet Arun. He's my roomie. He's not really a padawan, since I'm not a master. But I guess you could say I'm his teacher. One of his teachers. He's been with me and the trauma team for a little over two years. He joined us after overcoming trauma of his own which included losing his master. But I'll let him share that with you if he so chooses. He does still deal with his trauma though. Every so often he has a bad day, remembering the past. But it's all part of the healing experience. Healing takes time. I wish it would happen overnight. It doesn't. Most with our team have suffered a severe trauma in their lives. Not one of them ever completely forgets the pain and emotion that those events came with. They just learn to come to terms with it. As you will."
Watching her, Jaythen became almost mesmerized by her gentle eyes and her kind face. He fell into her words, wanting desperately to believe in every one of them. "You know about me?"
"I do. And I know that with our help, and your master's help, you'll be out there defending the galaxy with the best of them. But you have to want to be helped."
The young Jedi, small and lean, was determined, though filled with anxiety. "I do want to be helped. I just don't know what to do."
"You, my spiky-haired friend, don't have to worry about that. We will lead you and sometimes push you. You'll get angry sometimes. You'll cry sometimes. And hopefully you'll laugh too. All normal. Arun will tell you. Come on, let's meet him." Reaching out her hand, the silvery Risha took Jaythen's and led him out of the beige room, down a short hall, and into a larger room where the walls were a hue of muted green. "And this would be…"
"The green room?" Jaythen guessed.
"Got it on one guess! You're good, kid."
Giggling, the boy felt at ease again and took a seat between T'narr and Terran on an overstuffed plush couch. When he sat, his feet couldn't touch the floor, so he swung them playfully back and forth, trying to not think about the bad memories that might come with future visits to this place. T'narr patted his knee while they waited. With each passing moment, he felt himself becoming more at ease with this whole master-role thing.
The young Jedi that came through the door was not what Jaythen had expected. His sandy-blonde hair wasn't cut in the familiar padawan style, but was grown longer so it hung just past his neck and he could tuck it behind his ears. His skin was a very light shade of green, slightly paler than the surrounding walls. The deeply dark green eyes were serious, though there was a bit of humor dancing just below that depth. His face and hands held physical scars. Jaythen silently wondered if those scars had to do with his past traumas, but he could not find the courage to ask. And he was young, being only fifteen. Slight in build - average in all other ways. Much like Jaythen himself.
"Hi, I'm Arun Na'dav. You must be Jaythen. And Master T'narr," a small bow, "it's good to meet you."
T'narr allowed his apprentice to move the conversation forward, knowing it would be a positive step for him.
"Hi Arun. You don't have a padawan hair cut."
Absently Arun put a hand through his sandy hair. He'd forgotten how long it was. Risha had given him the okay to do so, feeling it would help him separate his old life of abuse from his new life of healing. He smiled playfully. "Risha's idea. She's a rebel." Risha nodded in agreement. "This is my office. I got my own a few months ago. I have a thing for green," he shrugged. "So, anytime you want to visit, feel free. The door is always open. Even if I'm not here. Maybe it can be a place you escape to. I picked the most comfortable couch I could find. So, you are welcome here anytime."
"Thank you. Sometimes I…I sometimes talk to people from my past when I'm alone. It feels strange, but it makes me feel better. I'd be nervous coming here by myself and talking to myself."
The room laughed. Arun included. "I talk to myself all the time in this room. It's used to it."
After they spoke a while longer, Risha called an end to the meeting. "All right, boys. I'd love to stay and chat the day away, but Arun and I have places to go, things to do, people to see…something like that. We've got stuff. So, T'narr I'll talk this over with Terran and then figure out when a good time would be for you and Jaythen to come for a first session."
"Master, did you ever lose someone you loved?" Jaythen said later as they shared lunch in their quarters.
"Friends I've lost, yes. I also lost a brother, though he was ill for a very long time. His passing was not unexpected. And when I found out, it was more a relief than anything, his suffering was that intense. My parents are still living, as I've told you. My master, though retired from the field, works with some of the research teams. We had lunch recently. He's healthy and active. You'll get to meet him soon enough. Are you nervous about talking to Risha and Arun? They seem very compassionate."
Jaythen shrugged. "I think I'm more nervous than I think I am."
"Okay, that makes sense in an odd way," T'narr titled his head to the side pondering the statement. "There's no rush. If you're not ready and would rather wait before talking to them, I won't push you." The hidden message behind the words being that the master was just as anxious as the apprentice. They were finally connecting, though the covered ground was minor. He didn't want to do anything to would harm that connection. T'narr had lowered his shields to let their bond begin. Jaythen had little control over his mental shields, what there was of them. His emotions were displayed freely on his face, even though he tried to hide them.
Conflicting emotions fought for attention in Jaythen's mind. He wanted to talk to someone, because he knew he needed to. Even so young, he knew he needed help. At the same time, the idea of reliving those painful traumatic times was scary. He didn't want to disappoint his master and show weakness in not being able to confront his fears. There was also the problem of being thought of as weak when reduced to tears by talking about the death of his parents and crèche master. Naturally the war inside him right now was on clear display and T'narr took note.
"How about we think about something else for a while?"
"Like what, Master?"
"Like…" T'narr struggled for a thought. Their relationship was too knew, and the boy too young, for them to have much in common. After all, the older Jedi bested him by over forty years. "Well, what types of things did you do with your free time as an initiate?"
"I um…I read a lot."
"About what? What do you youngsters read about these days?"
"I like learning about animal and plant life on all the different planets."
"That's a good thing to study. It might come in useful on certain missions. What else?"
"Mostly just animals."
"Did you play sparring games with your age-mates?"
"I didn't have any friends after Kele died. He was my best friend since he came into my class a year before he died. Some of age-mates teased me because I cried for him and for my parents. When sparring teams were picked, I was picked last. I didn't let that stop me from working hard though, Master. I always work hard. But I was better when I could practice alone."
T'narr nodded, beginning to see the loneliness in Jaythen's childhood. He felt a connection there, perhaps because part of him felt the same way. He too was a loner of sorts. Could be that loneliness was part of why Yoda brought them together. The feelings began welling up on Jaythen's face and T'narr asked pointedly, "You don't want to be alone anymore, do you?"
"No, Master," he returned sadly. A single tear escaped. "I don't. Everyone I loved was taken away from me. After Kele and then especially after Master Valree died, those few in my class who I thought might become friends, they pushed me away. I guess they weren't my friends after all. It still hurts me." Another tear trailed his cheek. He wiped it away.
It was now that T'narr began to see how deep Jaythen's emotional issues ran. A twinge of doubt entered his mind again. Could he really train such a fragile child to become a Jedi Knight? The doubt showed briefly in his face and Jaythen caught it.
"Master, please don't give up on me. I…I need you."
The deep breath T'narr took about shook the room, it was so intense. There was a desperate determination to not give in to the emotions pressing down. This boy was bringing out a side of him that he wasn't completely comfortable with on a public level. In the past, he'd dealt with his feelings on the side, giving in only when he was alone and out of view. He wasn't frightened of those emotions as much as he was wary of how others might view him upon seeing how truly emotional he really was. Now he was realizing that he needed Jaythen as much as Jaythen needed him.
There was no possible way he could give up on this one.
"There will be no giving up on anyone around here, Jaythen. For you or for me. We need each other. I suspect we're both a little messed up when it comes to our emotions. Or are we? Maybe it's everyone else that's messed up."
A smile crossed Jaythen's face and he nodded. "I think so, Master."
"And I have an idea. Follow me." T'narr was up and moving out the door of their quarters quickly. Jaythen's much shorter legs had to work to keep pace.
"Where are we going?"
"To see Master Yoda. I'm not so sure that talking with trauma healers is what you need right now."
"You don't?"
"Eventually, yes. But you and I are more important." Stopping outside the main office before the Council chambers, T'narr asked the Council assistant if he could meet with Yoda, only to find out that Yoda was currently out and about. "Come, Jaythen. Let's see if we can find him."
"But…"
"I'll explain. I just need permission first."
They eventually found the small green master hobbling down a long corridor. To his right walked Qui-Gon, patient as always as he ambled slowly next to the ancient Jedi. To Yoda's left, Obi-Wan did his best to equal his master's patience - with little success. His steps were antsy and his eyes wandered here and there, waiting, hoping for any excuse to get back to something more exciting. Qui-Gon smiled as he recognized the pair up ahead. Always close to the Force, he could immediately feel the comfort that had found with each other, despite the difficult road still ahead. Happier to see them was Obi-Wan, as it gave him an excuse to get away from the dreadfully excruciating pain of walking with Yoda.
Jaythen saw Obi-Wan and ran towards him. T'narr wasn't fast enough to stop him. He'd have to remind him of etiquette around a Council member. Yoda though didn't seem to mind. Actually he almost looked pleased to see the newly paired master-apprentice team.
"Bonding you are. Took a month it did. Right I was again." Several punches to the floor with his gimmer stick cemented the statement.
T'narr bowed to Yoda nodded to Qui-Gon as he watched the padawan from the corner of his eye talking with Obi-Wan. "Master Yoda, if I might interrupt for a moment. I have a small request."
"Interrupt you may. Tired of Obi-Wan's impatience I am. Walk slowly, he cannot." Another thump of the gimmer stick as Qui-Gon grinned behind him.
"I have decided that I will remain Jaythen's teacher. Over the last couple of days, we…we have found each other, and realize that we need each other. I have spoken with Terran and Risha and they both would like him to spend some time in therapy, to which both Jaythen and I agree is needed. However I think he needs something more before being buried in painful memories again. I would like to request a leave of absence to take my padawan to my home planet. I will continue his training and lessons while there, of course. But it would expose him to many things that he's missed out on because of his difficult childhood." T'narr need not explain further. Yoda knew all there was to know about Jaythen and his pains. "He tells me he enjoys studying animal and plant life. This will give him real life exposure to that. He's never been off planet. He's never been out of the temple since he was brought here. We - our bond is new. It's fragile. I will need to be there for him when his therapy begins. Until we are stronger as a pair, I can't do that to my full ability. A trip like this will make us stronger. I know it will."
Yoda pondered for several moments. In fact he was quiet for so long that T'narr was certain that his request was about to be denied. Even Qui-Gon looked worried. Then the troll closed his large eyes and sought the force. More time passed and just when T'narr was certain he was about to be disappointed, Yoda looked up towards him. Immediately T'narr kneeled to be level with the tiny creature. "Please, Master Yoda."
"Hmm…need you he does. Need him, you do."
T'narr nodded.
"How long wish you to be gone?"
An exact time, the new master hadn't considered. So he took a gamble and said, "A month?"
"Long time that is. Sufficient it will be? Hmm?"
"I really don't know, Master Yoda. I have an idea of how thick his emotional scars are. And if I'm being honest with myself, I may not be much better off than he is. If you wish us to be gone less time, of course we will abide by your wishes."
"Honesty I feel in you. Determination. Hope - yet uncertainty. Granted your leave of absence is. One thing required however. Consult with the healers you will. If recommend otherwise they do, delayed your leave will be."
A feeling of disappointment flashed over T'narr's face, but he agreed. He'd speak with Terran and Risha the next morning. Perhaps he could impose on Obi-Wan to practice with Jaythen in the gym while he was speaking with them. "Thank you, Master Yoda. If they agree, I'd like to leave soon."
"If agree they do, you may. Now, enough time wasted. Needed elsewhere I am. Qui-Gon, instruct your padawan on patience you will!"
Qui-Gon tried not to roll his eyes. "Yes, Master Yoda," he said obediently as Yoda hobbled off. Then Jinn turned to his fellow teacher. "I think you're better at this master thing than you think, T'narr. It should be a good experience for him to get away from the temple. It's been a place of much pain for him. I'm sure new surroundings will benefit greatly."
"I think so too. He's said some things that are very telling. How alone he's been with his pain. This will provide us with every opportunity to form our bond stronger. Then we'll be ready for anything."
"Good. You're doing things the right way, unlike how Obi-Wan and I started."
"Might I ask a favor of Obi-Wan? I'll need to speak with Terran tomorrow about this. It would be easier to do so alone. Could I impose on Obi-Wan to entertain him for an hour or so in the morning?"
Qui-Gon glanced at the mismatched pair several yards away. Despite the age difference, they seemed to get along easily. Perhaps being padawans, they automatically shared a connection. "I don't think Obi-Wan would mind at all. We've finally been assigned a mission, but don't leave for another two days. If you want to send him to our quarters on your way tomorrow?"
"Is eight too early?"
"For me, no. For Obi-Wan, well…he's still working on his ability to wake in the morning before noon," Qui-Gon grinned. "Eight is fine."
"Thank you, Qui-Gon. You don't know how much I've appreciated your help these past couple of days. You helped spur me to this and I think it's just what I needed. I'm grateful we've become friends. Very grateful." T'narr paused before he said anymore more, such as admitting how much he craved such a friendship. Something he hadn't realized until both Jaythen and Qui-Gon became a part of his life.
"As am I. Hopefully Jaythen and Obi-Wan, no matter their ages, can become good friends as well. Seems they're heading in that direction." Qui-Gon turned towards the apprentices and gave a small smile. "Obi-Wan, we have an appointment with the sparring gym, remember?"
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan said goodbye to Jaythen, found his step next to Qui-Gon and they walked away.
"I wish Obi-Wan was my age, Master."
"There's no written rule that says younger and older padawans cannot be friends, Jaythen. I'm sure you'll see each other around the temple. For now though, I need to tell you something. And let me show you the meditation room while we talk. This way."
The large meditation chamber was softly lit. Flickering candles were placed sporadically to provide a sense of relaxation. The walls were coated much like those in the trauma team office. Designed in a way that would ease a troubled mind. T'narr found an unoccupied corner and motioned for his apprentice sit with his legs crossed and back straight.
"There is no wrong way to sit while you meditate, Jaythen. But this is how my time is spent most effectively. Others, like Master Suyra over there, prefer to put all their weight on their knees. I tried – can't do it. Too painful for my old knees."
Jaythen snorted a small laugh, though his attention never wavered from his master.
"But if that ends up being the best way for you, by all means, go with it. You've got young, healthy knees. How are you meditation skills?"
"Very good, Master. Meditation has always helped me calm myself, especially when I got too emotional. Master Valree…" he paused, as was his habit whenever remembering something that his beloved crèche master taught him. He still missed her every single day of his life. "Master Valree used to tell me how important it was. And when something happened that I couldn't talk about, or when I felt bad or lonely, I always meditated. It made me feel better. It helped me deal with Kele's death."
"You are a wise young man, Jaythen," T'narr said. "Now, close your eyes and lead us towards the force. I'll follow."
Eyes closed. Shoulders relaxed. Breathing slowed. Jaythen sought the deepest regions of the force. His master was impressed by the effortlessness. The boy might have his issues, but this was not one of them. He found himself a bit in awe of the profound depth they were experiencing. The older Jedi discovered he couldn't hold that intensity as long his student, and he opened his eyes an hour later. Sitting quietly, he marveled at the peacefulness in Jaythen's bronze-skinned face. Worry lines had vanished, which in this case was substantial. For an eight year old, the small Jedi held far too many worry lines when awake. Within the force, there was no anxiousness and his face showed the evidence
When Jaythen finally woke, he found his master watching him. Smiling. Feeling slightly embarrassed to be the subject of the man's intense grey eyes, he bowed his head shyly. "Sorry, Master. I lose track of time when I meditate."
"No worries, my Padawan. That was…impressive. One of the most impressive skills I've seen in a young Jedi in a very long time."
Jaythen felt his cheeks flush at the compliment. A Jedi of such maturity and experience, daunted by the meditation skills of a child. He didn't know what to say, so he replied with a simple, "thank you, Master."
T'narr scooted himself around so that he now sat directly in front of the other. "Now, for the reason we actually came here. I want to ask you something. And if you'd rather not go, that's fine. Just say so."
"Go?"
"Yes. I've spoken with Master Yoda and haven gotten permission – as long as Terran agrees – for us to take a leave of absence from the temple. I think that before you start battling your emotional demons, you and I need time away from all of this. I want to be able to help you through your issues. But I don't think I'm capable of that just yet. We're only finding each other, Jaythen. Our bond needs to grow and mature before it gets tested so severely." A momentary pause as the Jedi quelled his anticipation. "That it why I would like to take you to my home planet of Kembar Lune for the next month. You'll get away from the temple. Something that is a necessity for all of us. And you'll get your first taste of another planet and its people. Another culture. You've studied animals and Kembar Lune holds some of the most beautiful species in the galaxy. I want you to meet my parents – my family. So few Jedi know their families. Fewer are able to have lasting relationships with them. I've been privileged to have both. I want to share that with you. What do you think?"
Rarely had a smile so big ever crossed the face of a Jedi apprentice. Naturally, he'd be anxious. Leaving the temple, meeting people he didn't know, being in an entirely different world…but that was his nature. The other part of him was about to jump for joy. "Yes, Master! I want to do that. I do!"
"All of you?"
"Well, part of me is nervous. But that part of me is always nervous. I do want to go, Master."
"Very well then. I speak to Terran tomorrow. You'll be spending part of the morning with Obi-Wan while I'm gone. If Terran gives the okay, we'll leave tomorrow evening."
The boy's smile eventually relaxed and was replaced by a yawn. The day had been a wearing one. "And on that note, since we might have a very big day tomorrow, let's go back to quarters and get you to bed."
There was no argument, and thirty minutes later Jaythen was snuggled deep into his warm blankets and was out like a light.
While his master was speaking with Terran, the young learner spent the morning with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Arriving just in time for breakfast, he was hungry and quickly downed several eggs. Obi-Wan was interested in hearing all about the trip to Kembar Lune. He even admitted to being a little jealous at being able to get away from the temple for such a long time without being surrounded by political squabbling or violent feuds. It had been a long time since he and Qui-Gon had gotten an actual vacation. He envied Jaythen, though he knew there would be plenty of lessons that T'narr would find for him, even away from the temple. His own master, Qui-Gon, was famous for finding a lesson in anything and everything.
Breakfast finished and they arrived at the sparring gym. Qui-Gon gave his student some basic instructions, asking him to work Jaythen into the lesson. Obi-Wan's skills as a teacher came naturally with the young ones and Jaythen enjoyed the session. After an hour, Jinn called a halt to the practice.
During cool down, Jaythen asked, "Obi-Wan, the first time you left the temple - left Coruscant - were you scared?"
"Well, my first time away was much different than what most experience. It was a life and death mission and I made some bad choices. Master Qui-Gon and I were having a lot of problems. Your experience will be better. It's a chance for you and Master T'narr to bond and learn about each other. It's natural to be frightened of what you don't know. I think you're good to be nervous. Anytime you venture into something new, it can make you excited and nervous at the same time."
The younger boy looked relieved to hear that his feelings weren't unique or wrong. "I'll tell you all about it when I get back."
Obi-Wan smiled. "I expect a full report. Look, there's your master now."
T'narr's expression told the story. "Jaythen! The healers have agreed that our trip to Kembar Lune is a good step. They've approved. We leave this evening. We'll be gone for some time, so we need to pack."
"Yes, Master." Turning to Obi-Wan, the dark haired apprentice clinched his hands into fists and jumped up and down on the balls of his feet. The excitement overwhelming him. "I'm going, Obi-Wan. I'm leaving the temple!"
"It's going to be a great thing, Jaythen. You'll have to write me and let me know how things are going. Don't forget your data pad."
"I won't. And I will write you. I promise." He bounced up and down a few more times, chewing on his bottom lip at the same time. "Okay, I should go now. I need to pack. Yes. I need to pack a lot of stuff. What should I pack? I don't have much, but I should pack it, right? I mean…"
Obi-Wan did his best not to laugh, but the boy was bouncing out of his skin. Finally his master tapped him on the shoulder.
"Ah, Jaythen?"
"Yes, Master?"
"How about we go to our quarters and decide this before you make Obi-Wan dizzy."
"Okay, Master. Bye, Obi-Wan! Bye, Master Qui-Gon!"
Both Jedi waved and grinned as Jaythen ran from the gym and down the halls. T'narr said his goodbye to Obi-Wan and then to Qui-Gon. "Qui-Gon, thank you again for everything. This wouldn't be possible if not for you caring enough to step in when you did. I'm excited for Jaythen. Nervous for us. But I can't wait to show him my home world and what it means to me. The best to you and Obi-Wan on your upcoming mission. We shall see you in a month or so."
Qui-Gon bowed his head and held out a hand. "May the Force be with you and Jaythen on your journey."
The small ship landed smoothly three days later. The distant planet of Kembar Lune wasn't often visited by foreigners, but it was the home of more than twenty different tribes. Some tribes were rivals, though large skirmishes were rare. Individual bands of aggressive tribesmen did break out at times. Injury and death did happen. For the most part though, the planet was a peaceful one.
Jaythen stood on the ramp of the transport in awe of the beauty before him. The lush green plains expanded for miles, bordered by dense forests on either side. In the distance, lazy waved lakes kissed the foot of the mountains. At the uppermost elevation of the highest of mountains, snow capped the tips, disappearing behind low lying clouds as they floated past. The skies sparkled blue and an enormous yellow sun encouraged life in every direction. Large bushy tailed animals of all colors and patterns grazed on the flourishing grasses. Small houses built with a combination of log and clay littered the plains.
"Master, this is incredible. I've never seen – I've never imagined anything like it. How can you ever leave this place and go back to the temple?"
"I ask myself that same question each time I leave here, Jaythen. But the force calls me back. This is your home for the next month. There is much to do, much to learn. I want to introduce you to my family. And my horse."
"You have horses here? I've read all about them, Master! But I never thought I'd get to see one."
"Not just one. Many. See them grazing down there. My people ride them and hunt with them. They're courageous and strong, and they're an important part of our history and heritage."
"And you have your own?"
"His name is Arrow. You'll have your own as well. You get to chose him and name him."
Unable to hold back another grin, Jaythen's face lit up at the idea that he would not only meet and learn more about the animals, but would also get to ride and care for one of them. "Obi-Wan will never believe this."
"You'll have to tell him all about it. For today, we'll keep things simple. Meeting my parents and getting settled in our home."
"You have your own home too?" Jaythen said, his eyes wide.
"Well, not my own. But I visit so often that my father and I built an addition to their house. I guess you can think of it as an attached apartment. Not very big, but it serves its purpose. Grab your bags. I'll tell you about my family as we walk. The transport may spook the horses and wildlife so we can't bring it any closer. It'll be safe here."
They walked and talked. T'narr telling his apprentice all about his people. "My tribe is called the Noma tribe. It means 'horse people'. You've wondered about these feathers behind my ears, but you've been too nervous to ask?"
Jaythen shied away from the question.
"It's natural, Padawan. The body markings too, you've wondered. I know. Each one has a special meaning. Wait until you see my father's."
"Does your mother have them too?"
"Only a few, but the most important is the one that symbolizes her bonding with my father. It strengthens their devotion to each other." T'narr pointed to a spot in the distance. A small lake, a cluster of log homes. "That's my village. It's where I was born. The Jedi took me from there. My parents have lived there since they bonded."
"What are your parent's names? What should I call them?"
"Good question. There are Noma words for mother and father. The word for mother is Anya, though my mother's name is Neela. The word for father is Pai. My father's name is Ihaani. Chief Ihaani actually. As for what you should call them, let's just play that one by ear."
As they arrived in the village, there was a sense of joy that one of their own had come home. Tiny children hurried here and there, pointing at T'narr as they clapped or squealed in delight. Men, similar in appearance to the big Jedi, nodded to him as they passed. They were strong and stocky. Skin painted with markings. Ears decorated with feathers. Long dark hair in single braids hung past their shoulders. Clothing was made of animal hide. Shoes, if worn, were made of the same.
The women were of a smaller build. Some wore one feather, while others wore none. Body markings were fewer, but still present. Jaythen wondered if the markings or the number of feathers worn by the women meant something in particular. Or if there was a reason that the men left only their faces unpainted. How old was a child before he or she got a first body marking?
He was full of questions already, but dutifully trudged along beside his master, knowing that T'narr would answer the many questions in time.
They approached the Kresson house. T'narr stuck his head in the door less archway. "Anya?"
A high pitched wail loud enough to be heard in a neighboring village bounced off the rounded log walls. Neela Kresson sprinted from wherever she had been to the front room, not stopping to see who the visitor was. She knew. There was only one it could have been. Throwing her arms around her beloved son, she clutched at him as tears formed rivers. Then she stepped back and held his face in her hands, stroking it lovingly. "Tana, I didn't know you were coming home. It's been too long." Stopping to wipe the tears, she realized there was a smaller presence standing just behind and to the left of her son. "Tana, who've you brought with you?"
T'narr stepped back and put a proud arm around his student's shoulders. "Anya, this is my apprentice, Jaythen Talari."
Neela Kresson was shocked. How many times had her son told her that he had no desire to be a teacher. No desire to be a Master Jedi. No desire to be a father. And now here was this boy, much too young to be a Jedi warrior, standing with T'narr and smiling shyly at the sudden attention. "He's adorable, Tana. Jaythen, is it?"
Jaythen nodded, trying not to let his nerves show. "Yes, ma'am, Miss Kresson. I'm pleased to meet you."
"Miss Kresson? You shall call me no such thing young man. You call me Neela or even Anya, like my Tana calls me. If you are his part of his family now, you are part of ours." She brushed her long flowing black hair out of her face and knelt down. "A little thin. Don't you feed this boy, Tana? How old might you be Jaythen?"
"Eight, ma'am…I mean, Miss Neela."
"Those Jedi allow one so young to become a peace warrior, Tana?"
T'narr nodded. "That's why they have teachers, Anya."
Neela looked up at her son, studying him as she said, "I knew you had it in you to be a teacher. All those years of you being alone and claiming that the force was leading you that way. I knew it was all just talk."
"Things change, Anya. As we get older we realize we were foolish in our younger days. Jaythen and I…this is right. I know it is."
The mother smiled and brushed a finger over a droplet of water sliding down Jaythen's face. His master's words had emotionally caught him off guard. One day he'd have more control of those emotions he thought and politely bowed his head away from Neela.
"Tana, this is a good boy you have here. I can feel it." She stood. "Now that you surprised me with your visit, don't you dare tell me you are only here for a few days."
"A month. We've been granted a leave of absence from the Jedi. I only took Jaythen as my apprentice a few weeks ago. We've struggled together. I'm hoping time away from the temple will help us. And I'm eager to teach him the ways of my people."
"As well you should. Your pai will be home soon. He's out hunting. You'll want to get settled though." Reaching down, she took Jaythen's hand and led them through the house to the 'attached apartment' as T'narr had called it. The room was large, holding two beds, a sturdy table with three chairs, and a large wash basin. Each bed was fitted with a colorful quilt and a pillow that looked as soft as the rabbit fur it was made from.
Jaythen noticed one thing missing however. "Master, um…where is the bathroom?"
Mother and son shared a glance and a laugh, but stopped short when they saw Jaythen's face redden. T'narr put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's a good and necessary question, my Padawan. Follow me." They walked out the back entrance of the dwelling and found a tall, rectangular shaped shack not more than thirty feet away. It had a rickety wooden door with a double crescent moon window carved into it. "This is the part of Kembar Lune that takes a little getting used to. The outhouse. Unlike the comforts of Coruscant, Jaythen, there is no intricate plumbing system here. One lives off the land. This is your bathroom for the next four weeks."
Watching the boy's eyes grow to the size of potatoes was entertaining to say the least, but T'narr managed not to laugh this time. Jaythen's emotional state was always in flux and more fragile than most. And with their bond still growing, he wanted to be careful about too much teasing, even though it was all in good spirits. "It's not as bad as it seems. It's basically an elevated hole in the ground. Now for bathing purposes, see that lake over there?" He motioned for the boy to look past the other houses in the distance. "That's the biggest bathtub you've ever seen isn't it?"
"Yes, Master. And cold too, I bet."
"Well, it's chilly. But I'll show you a hot spot that's easier on the body. It takes some getting used to, but you'll adapt."
Neela led them back inside and told them to get settled. She disappeared into the main part of the home.
"Master, your mother…I mean, your anya, I like her. She's force sensitive, isn't she?"
T'narr raised an eyebrow. "You felt that? Interesting. She's only barely force sensitive. And has never tried to use it. Although I suspect she could become stronger if she trained herself to the force. But she's content with her life and her place." He tossed his larger bag onto the bed and began removing the extra clothing. There were bulky wooden trunks on the side of each bed for storage. Neither Jedi had many possessions, but they did bring clothing that would be more comfortable long term than the Jedi garb they were branding at the moment. "Don't put your light saber in the trunk, Jaythen. I have a lock box hidden in the floor for that. Not that anyone would attempt to take them, but you know the rules to abide by when it comes to our weapons. Most likely we'll not need them here, so they'll stay safely hidden."
The bedding under the quilt was thick and comfortable. The younger Jedi sat down to test the padding as he brushed his hand over the pillow. "Master, do you have to kill the animals rabbits yourself to get this fur?"
"We do," T'narr replied, not missing the slight sadness in his leaner's tone."We live off the animals and plant life here. All parts of the animals are used. They give to us and in turn, we give to them by allowing them to roam as they please. We hunt only when needed. No animal is killed unless necessary. Young ones are not harmed, and if we find them injured, they'll be nursed back to health and released. If you care for nature, it cares for you. I know it might be difficult for you to see an animal killed. It's difficult for all of us, even after so many hunts. But like with being a Jedi, sometimes certain things are necessary for survival. Does that make sense?"
"It does. But…I don't have to hunt with you, do I?"
"No, Padawan. I'd never force that on you. You've told me how much you love reading and learning about animals. I'd never ask you to hunt them if you didn't wish. I only wanted to make sure you understood that it is part of what Noma tribe is about, and to prepare you for the reality."
Jaythen felt some of his initial enthusiasm waning. He had no desire to intentionally hurt another living thing, unless his life depended on it. Though this was a culture that needed those animals in order for it to survive. Once he came to accept that part, he figured he'd manage. "I'm just nervous, Master. This is all so new. I've only ever seen places like this on holo-vids. To feel it come to life, and to be standing here…it's overwhelming."
"You'll do all right. Here," T'narr tossed a small circular object to the boy. "Taste it. My anya makes it. A homemade candy. Pure sugar. We'll take some home with us when we go." He watched Jaythen sniff the petite sweet and then pop it into his mouth. The reaction was as expected.
"Wow! That's…" he stopped for a second as his face puckered. The sweet giving way to sour, then sour giving way to sweet again. "Wow….wow!"
T'narr laughed, happy to see Jaythen loosen up. "Told you it's good. You have to limit yourself to one piece a day though, or you'll end up addicted to the stuff. It's that good!"
As they continued unpacking, and fixing their areas to their liking, another voice had entered the house. T'narr recognized it immediately. Chief Ihaani Kresson. His father. His pai. He motioned for the apprentice to follow him and a few steps later, T'narr fell into the strong arms of his father. When they released, Chief Ihaani held him away, staring into the deep grey eyes. "I've missed you, my boy. You've been gone much too long this time."
"I know, Pai. But duty called. This time I'm here for a while, and I brought someone I'd like you to meet." He stepped to his right and put a hand out for Jaythen to come forward. "Pai, this is my apprentice, Jaythen. I know I told you I'd never take on the responsibility of a student, but Jaythen here…well…"
With reddish-brown skin covered in paintings, the Chief was an imposing presence. Taller and broader than T'narr. His eyes were densely black. A wide nose and strong cheek bones made him look a natural leader. Three feathers fell behind each ear. Several more were webbed into his hair, which fell almost to his waist. Unlike the other tribesmen, his hair was not kept in a single braid, but flowed freely. A braided section over and around each feathered ear marked him apart. It marked him a chief. He stood with chest out, chin high and glancing down at the boy standing before him.
Jaythen of course was completely uncomfortable with the glare, but held himself tall. Though it still made him several feet shorter than the immense leader. "Hello, sir. Thank you for allowing me into your home."
A heavy grunt from the big man. "He's polite, T'narr. I can say that for him. A little small though for a Jedi warrior."
"Anya said much the same. It's not all about what's on the outside, Pai. Jaythen will make a fine Jedi Knight once he reaches the age of his trials. I have no doubt. For now though…you can stop with the act."
With a sigh, Ihaani deflated his chest and gave up his intimidating chief stance. Then he laughed and slapped his son on the shoulder. "Whew. Good. I can't do that for long, it's just not me. And it's hard to hold my breath and stay all puffed up. I'm not a young man anymore." Both men turned to the boy, who was standing still as a statue, afraid to even blink. He had no idea what had just happened.
T'narr walked behind Jaythen and put his hands on his shoulders, giving a gentle massage.
"Sorry, Jaythen. My family can be a bit odd at times. Everyone thinks my pai is this intimidating figure who never laughs or smiles. But he's just a big gentle type really. And he feels this strange need to put on his little show for anyone visiting our village for the first time. Anyway, just call him Ihaani. That all right with you, Pai?"
"Sure it is." He remarked, looking over the apprentice. "Hmmm. Do you feed this boy, T'narr? I've seen starved byson with more meat on their bones."
"Always obsessed with food, aren't you? Don't listen to him, Jaythen."
Ihaani sat in a large comfortable chair covered with animal skin. A skin with a head still attached. Jaythen stared at it and sat as far away as he could. "Ah, don't worry about that boy," the chief waved his hand. "It won't bite. Just an old elkon is all. So, T'narr, I understand you're here for a long visit this time. I suspect you'll finally be paying that horse of yours a visit, hmm?"
"Of course. I'd never miss a chance to ride Arrow. And I'm going to have Jaythen pick out a horse of his own from the herd. Teach him to ride."
"Ah, and hunt then?"
Jaythen, sitting on the arm of a chair where T'narr was, shrunk closer to his master. T'narr gave him a comforting pat on the knee. "No hunting for him, Pai. He's not the hunter type." He flickered a look at his father that meant he wanted the subject dropped, and it was.
They talked for some time and all through supper. Jaythen picked at the food, not sure about the new textures and spices. Some were particularly strong and made him wary. T'narr assured him it was all right, but it didn't matter. Jaythen did enjoy the fresh bread however, downing several pieces slathered in honey butter.
Excusing themselves early, they turned in after the meal. It had been a long day of arriving, getting settled and meeting family. Jaythen was exhausted. He washed up and folded himself under the incredibly soft quilt.
"Master?" he asked from his bed, as T'narr scrubbed his face over the basin. "Did Neela make these quilts?"
"She did. It's one of her many talents. Women from other villages bring items to trade for them. It's a good living."
"The temple needs these."
"I can imagine Yoda's reaction to that one."
The boy sighed thoughtfully. "You're happy here aren't you, Master?"
T'narr dried his face and started brushing his long hair out of its braid. It was a nightly ritual required to keep the thick hair healthy and clean. He didn't respond to his learner immediately. Several minutes passed before he sat down on the other bed facing him. "I am very happy here, Jaythen. You noticed?"
A nod. "You're different. I don't remember seeing this side of you since you became my master. It's…relaxing." T'narr grinned kindly. The truth was never so evident as when it was put right out there to see. Jaythen had read him perfectly. He was different here. He felt so at ease, so…happy. This was his world. His people. Though he loved his job as a Jedi, he often thought he could walk away from it, come home to Kembar Lune and never question the decision. "I miss this life. I think about it often when I'm on Coruscant. I suppose my Jedi life isn't as fulfilling as I like to think it should be."
"You could leave the Jedi and come home, couldn't you?"
"Probably. But the force speaks strongly to me, and I feel that my talents are useful for more than riding a horse and catching fish in a lake. Don't think it's not crossed my mind though."
"I hope I can become that comfortable here. I'm still anxious. Especially about that outhouse. There are bugs in there. Strange looking spiders with tiny round brown bodies and really really long legs."
"Ah, you've met our resident harvestman spiders. They don't bite, but for some odd reason they tend to hang out on the outhouse walls." He shrugged. "I don't know."
"Creepy."
"You'll get used to them. Stay warm and covered. It gets chilly here at night. If you need another quilt, let me know. I'll turn in shortly. I wish to speak with my parents for a while longer. Goodnight, Jaythen."
"G'night, Master."
T'narr found his parents in the common room. His mother was fastening a new quilt. His father was sharpening the tips on his quiver of arrows. Ihaani looked over, surprised to see his son hadn't turned in. "Restless?"
"No, not at all," came T'narr's reply as he tossed a log into the fire place and sat close. "Jaythen is quiet. He's very tired. I thought it best if my snoring didn't get in the way of him finding a deep sleep."
"Yes, you do snore like a bear. Often keeps me awake in the other room."
"Pai, you exaggerate."
Putting her tools down, Neela sipped on her mug of steaming tea. "That boy of yours. Are you sure about this, Tana? He's so young and unsure."
"That's why we're here. To help him. To help me. We need time together. He's a good boy, Anya. He really is. But he comes with an emotionally difficult past. Myself and the healers on Coruscant are working to help him through these things, but I thought time away would be better. You should have seen him when I told him we'd been cleared to come here. He was bouncing out of his skin. This is his first time off Coruscant. His first time out of the temple since he was brought to the Jedi."
"Ah, so that explains his nerves."
"Some, yes." T'narr debated how much to tell them. He didn't want to betray his learners trust. But at the same time, they would be here for quite a long time. It would be best for his parents to know more about Jaythen, so they could understand his reactions to certain situations. So he told them about the traumas. The death of his parents. The death of his only friend. The death of his beloved crèche master. Neela and Ihaani were solemn throughout.
"And you are certain that you are prepared for what all of this brings with it?" Neela said. She knew her son. She knew how strongly he would devote himself to a task once invested. But this boy was no simple task. He was a child that needed enormous emotional support. She was worried T'narr hadn't completely prepared for this undertaking. And that's why his next words took her by surprise.
"You don't know how many times I thought about giving up in this last month. Nothing clicked between us. We were both off balance and uncomfortable. We were two strangers working together. But, Anya - I know now. I'm devoted to Jaythen's training. I have spent the last few days thinking about that and very little else. I've sought the force. I've sought the advice of others. I've talked to Jaythen. For too long I've worked alone. I've had great success, but something was always missing. I just didn't realize what it was. I guess I didn't realize how lonely I was until recently. Coming home here so often, seeing the village children together and playing and laughing. Seeing the others working together and hunting together – it's worn on me. I've neglected that part of my emotional self for far too long. I want to pass on my teachings. I want to pass on my upbringing. The ways of my people. My abilities as a Jedi. I want – I need – to share that. Jaythen is my duty. My responsibility. My apprentice. I will train him. I will be stern with him. I will comfort him. I will – love him like a son. I had a good teacher in Pai. That small emotionally challenged boy is my legacy. I will not let him down."
Without a word, Neela walked over to her son, as proud as she'd ever been. Her hands cupped around his face and she kissed him on the temple then leaned her head against his in a quiet moment of rumination.
It was Ihaani who finally broke the silence. "You'll make a fine teacher and a fine father, T'narr."
The Jedi relaxed, content that his parents understood now why they were here, and the circumstances surrounding his taking of an apprentice. Eventually he turned in for the night. Tomorrow would be a busy day.
"Master, which horse is yours? There are so many. Do they stay in this pen all the time? Do they all have names? How often are they ridden?"
"Easy with the barrage of questions, Jaythen. I can't remember them to answer them. See that black and white one over there? The one with his head held high and his mane in his eyes? That's Arrow."
"He's beautiful, Master! Can I touch him?"
T'narr whistled. Arrow's ears flicked toward the sound. "Step inside the gate, Jaythen." Arrow trotted over and immediately nuzzled against T'narr, accepting a piece of apple from his hand, nickering softly. "Hi there, boy. I missed you. Jaythen, hold the apple out away from you. He'll take it."
Arrow sniffed Jaythen's hair with his great whiskery nose, nibbled briefly on his short braid, then found the apple and accepted it gratefully. Jaythen reached up and hesitantly touched the big animal's neck.
"I've seen so many holos of horses, Master. But never thought they'd be so spectacular. Are you going to ride him today?"
"I hope so. But first, you get to pick your horse. Choose carefully though. The one you pick will be yours forever."
"But which one? Some of these belong to others, right?"
T'narr pointed out five horses that were spoken for, but the remaining ten were not specifically owned by any one person. Jaythen stepped forward, listening to the instructions to go slowly and stay even and deliberate with his movements. He watched every animal. Looked into each one's eyes. They seem to hold an almost magical quality within those deep dark gazes. How could he narrow it down to only one? They were all so beautiful. Then, he saw it. Apart from the group, standing alone and quiet, was a smaller horse. A mare. She was plain and brown. Her only markings were a thin irregular blaze running the length of her face, and one long white sock that ran over half way up her right hind leg. The rest of the mare was just brown. The boring and not-to-exciting type of brown. Her eyes though were anything but boring. They were huge, black and intelligent. They watched Jaythen the entire time he made his way around the herd. But the mare never moved from her distant spot next to the fence.
Jaythen held out his hand as he approached. "Hi, girl. Are you friendly? I have an apple for you." Gently he made his way to the brown horse. She never took her eyes from his, not even to accept the apple. Either she was trying to figure him out or she was testing him. Her eyes wavered but a second to the larger man now standing behind the boy. T'narr touched Jaythen's shoulder. "She's mostly a pack pony. Nothing exciting about her, so she's never been accepted. My father found her orphaned a few years ago. Her mother died during foaling. He brought her here to raise and protect her from predators. She's small and not much for hunting. But as a pack pony, she's strong. Not afraid to work hard. Mostly though she just hangs out here and watches. Always watching. There's an intelligence there that's somewhat unusual for the species."
Jaythen reached out and stroked her face, running his finger down that long skinny blaze. "Her mom died. She's lonely. I can feel it. No one has taken the time to love her. She's small and plain." The brown mare nickered once and pushed her muzzle into Jaythen's face. The boy hadn't noticed the tears on his face as he thought about the horse and the suffering she must have felt early in life. He felt emotionally connected to her almost immediately. They had much in common. "Can she be my horse, Master?"
"Are you sure you don't want another, Jaythen? Most boys your age look for the biggest and the most beautiful they can find. One full of energy and eager for anything. You should be certain on your decision."
"She is beautiful, Master. Look at her eyes. She just needs someone to love and care about her."
Smiling, T'narr felt proud. Given the chance to pick any of ten horses - some big and flashy and marked with fancy spots - his apprentice chose an ordinary pack pony. He found something inside the horse that was much more important that what others saw on the outside. "Then she's yours, Padawan. She'll need a name of course."
"Saber. I'll call her Saber," he said as he ran his hands down her neck and over her back. She leaned into the touch, almost as if she'd been waiting years for the feeling.
"Saber. I like that. All right, let me show you how to put a halter on her and we'll take the horses over near the supply shed for grooming. They'll need to be cleaned up before and after each ride. Most importantly, we have to look after their coat and their feet. Saber here hasn't gotten much brushing, so she may be anxious about it." T'narr removed a halter from the nearby fence post and demonstrated on Arrow how to slip it over his face and behind his ears. It was a task more challenging for Jaythen being short, but amazingly Saber lowered her head to his level after the first few attempts, as if sensing the problem.
"She's a good girl, isn't she, Master? She knows I'm small."
"Perhaps this horse is more than anyone ever gave her credit for." He snapped a lead line onto the halter - Jaythen observed and did the same. "Keep the horse on your right. You should always walk on the left of them. And whatever you do, watch your feet. It's not a pleasant experience when one of those hooves gets you. But it'll happen eventually."
They moved to the supply shed, tying the animals to the tether post. Saber watched her new master carefully as he disappeared into and then returned from the shed. She never missed a movement and as he began brushing - shadowing T'narr's movements with Arrow – Saber began to come to life. Her coat began to shine and she held her head higher. Her mane tangles were pulled and she swished her tail happily. When the grooming was finished, the little brown horse looked like a different animal.
"I knew you were beautiful, Saber. You just needed a little love and attention. What do you think, Master?"
T'narr starred at the newly named Saber, amazed at the change. "I never thought it possible she would look like that. I guess no one ever really gave her a chance." The master didn't miss the parallels between the horse and the apprentice. Someone just needed to take a chance on them. It's why Jaythen was drawn to the plain brown mare - they shared much in common.
"Now that she and Arrow are looking the part, how about I show you how to put a bridle and saddle on." Back into the shed to get the tack T'narr continued the lesson. "Now, a lot of the Noma tribe ride their horses bareback - without a saddle. Personally I find that quite painful and would recommend against it. But you wouldn't be trying that anytime soon anyway. Our saddles are small and light, but serve their purpose of helping one stay on board."
Jaythen was a quick study. He watched everything T'narr did, taking in every detail as the saddle and bridle were tacked onto Arrow. When it was his turn, he stood on a nearby log and clicked for Saber to lower her head. Something she did willingly. The saddle presented more of a problem because of his size, but after a few minutes of struggle, the apprentice managed to toss the saddle up and over. The girth was tougher, because he couldn't find the physical strength to get it tight enough, so T'narr stepped in to help, marveling at the connection horse and rider had achieved in such a short time.
"I think Saber has found her master, Jaythen. I've never seen such a quick bond form, especially with a horse that hasn't had much direct human contact. Amazing."
The boy smiled proudly. It felt nice when his teacher praised him. He'd only ever felt that before from Master Valree. More often than not, he was ignored and overlooked by his age mates and other Jedi. Master T'narr made him feel good about himself. "Thank you, Master. She's a good horse. I bet she and Arrow will become friends."
Arrow tossed his head in agreement causing both Jedi to laugh. "I suspect he's always wanted a girlfriend." Arrow agreed once more. "All right, how about a ride? Always mount on the left of the horse. Grab the reins and a clump of mane in your left hand. Put your left foot into the stirrup then grab the rear of the saddle with your right hand. Push off the ground and swing yourself up, like so." With a grunt, T'narr got himself into the saddle. A little rusty, but smooth enough that he didn't embarrass himself. Looking down towards his padawan, he motioned for him to try.
Several attempts proved unsuccessful, as the boy just couldn't get his right leg over Saber's back. He took a step back, closed his eyes and found the force. With a little assistance he found himself up and on. Sitting high with a goofy grin on his face, Jaythen was seeing the world from an entirely different view. One several feet higher than usual.
"I feel tall. Finally! Now what do I do?"
Showing him how to correctly grasp the reins and how to gently urge the pony on, Jaythen did as instructed. And then they were moving. Slowly bouncing from one side of the saddle to the other, he struggled to find the rhythm that T'narr and Arrow had together.
"Master, how do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Ride without bouncing off the saddle?"
"Practice. Lots and lots of practice. Mostly though, it's just becoming one with the horse."
"Is that like becoming one with the force?" Jaythen snickered at the rhyme.
"Funny, Padawan. Actually there are similarities. They both involve practice, patience and understanding of the other – cooperation if you will. You'll get the hang of it."
As they rode for a time, Jaythen did eventually find a method to the horse riding madness, though he still spent a lot of time rubbing his backside. He had a feeling tomorrow he might be feeling pain in places where there just shouldn't be pain. But he was having fun and was continuing to see a side of his teacher that he truly enjoyed.
Several hours later when they finally called it a day, T'narr gave Jaythen instruction on how to take care of the horse once the ride was over. "Every horse deserves a thorough rub down after working hard. Keep good care of their coats and their feet, and you'll have one happy partner."
The rub downs done, the horses turned out and the tack put away, the two Jedi spent the rest of the day near the lake. T'narr showed Jaythen the hot springs area that was popular for bathing. He also taught him fishing and all about the various aquatic animals populating the local waters. By late afternoon, they'd caught enough for a mighty feast. The contentment that came over them was pleasing. They were finding that part of each other they needed in order to become a strong and formidable master-apprentice team. T'narr was also discovering the type of apprentice Jaythen would be. Obedient and polite. Hardworking and honest. Underlying all of that of course were his weaknesses – the emotional issues. They'd only barely touched on those but that would come in time.
Supper was filling. T'narr's parents relaxed in getting updated on the goings-on of their son as a Jedi, and getting to know a little more about the boy he had taken as his apprentice. Jaythen, nervous at first, was soon talking easily with Neela and Ihaani and it wasn't long before he began to feel part of the family. In fact, a week later, he'd seemingly had become just that. He'd joined in with the cooking and the chores, and was learning the ways of the Noma people. He was becoming an accomplished fisherman and had begun learning the ways of the bow and arrow, though he still had no desire to hunt. His aim was steady and sure, if not all that accurate at times. Accuracy would get better with practice. What was more important was that now almost two weeks into the trip he and T'narr were becoming inseparable.
Jaythen however was unable to completely put to rest that nagging fear that he would eventually lose Master T'narr as he did all the others in his life that he'd loved. Those fears struck mostly at night in the form of bad dreams. Some kept him awake. The closer he and his master were drawn together, the more the concern of losing him grew in intensity.
The past few nights, the fear had been eating at him more than usual, though all seemed calm within the force. It was a sunny blue-sky day when they left together on their horses into the forest hills. Chief Ihaani accompanied them so they could share the day together. They'd ridden for an hour when Jaythen found out why he'd been having the frightening feelings.
The first arrow hissed from behind them. It struck Jaythen in the left arm, inserting itself behind the elbow and forearm. He cried out in pain and fell sideways off his horse. When he landed, the arrow was driven in deeper. His screams of pain echoed through the trees as his master fell next. Two arrows lodged into T'narr's horse. Arrow fell with a loud grunt and a painful thud. Two more arrows thumped into T'narr's torso and lodged themselves firmly in his chest as he tumbled over with Arrow. Chief Ihaani's return shots were swift and deadly. Seconds after the enemy arrows were released, two of the the three assailants lay dead fifty yards away. The third attacker vanished into the forest, his mount's heavy hooves fading quickly in the distance. Ihaani leaped from his horse, seeing to the most severely injured – his son – first.
T'narr, breathing heavy and labored, tried to lift his head, only to realize he was too weak. Blood trailed from his chest. Both arrows imbedded at least a third of their length into his flesh. "Lie still son. Reach out to the force that you rely on so much. I'll bring Me'da. He'll be able to help. Don't try and move your leg. Arrow's weight is too much and is bearing on your left leg."
The strained face of the master Jedi reached for words. T'narr turned his head to the side hearing whimpers of pain from his a padawan. He could feel the boy crying, but there was nothing he could do. His hand wouldn't cooperate when he tried reaching out, and his father hushed him gently.
"T'narr, I'll see about Jaythen. It's his arm that's injured. You need to keep still." The elder tribesman put hand on Jaythen's temple. Between the intense pain of the deeply inset arrow and the agony of knowing his master was gravely wounded, Ihaani knew he could not help. "Jaythen. You lie still. T'narr is alive. I will bring help. Don't move from where you are. I don't know how serious your injury is. I'll return as quickly as I can." The tears continued to flow and Ihaani gave a sad look back at the pair before he rode off not knowing if his son would survive until he saw him again.
Eternity passed, or what seemed like eternity. Jaythen's body shook violently with cold and pain. He didn't understand why he was cold, as he remembered the weather being warm and the sky sunny when they started out on this ill-fated ride. His tears had dried and had caked onto his dirt covered face. More than anything, he wanted to go to his master. He needed to help him. To save him if he could. To lose another like he'd lost his parents and Master Valree… It would be beyond devastating. But he couldn't move. Each time he tried, the excruciating sting in his arm moved into his neck and back. It was unbearable and kept him prone on the ground. A few feet away, Saber stood protectively. On guard for anything that might come after her master or his teacher. There was also a sense of grief in her large eyes. Several times she lowered her head towards Arrow, nudging him with her nose. There was no movement from her friend. Jaythen tried to look for the rise and fall of the animal's chest, and saw nothing. New tears fell as he realized that Arrow was dead. And now the young Jedi understood why he'd been feeling so uneasy recently. His worst fears were coming to life.
Muffled hooves pounded closer and closer until they were replaced by worried voices and hurried actions. The young Jedi saw a strange red man was now at T'narr's side, feeling his injuries and speaking in a tongue he could not understand. Other men readied a carrying pallet. Then a soft voice penetrated Jaythen's clouded mind. It was Neela. She'd returned with the men, worried for him. He felt himself crying again as her gentle hands touched his face.
"Ny-yen fa, bala-da. I will look after you."
Jaythen didn't understand some of the words, but he felt comforted by them. He trusted Neela and listened to her reassuring voice as he watched T'narr being slowly and carefully moved onto the pallet which was then tied behind a large brown horse with shaggy feathery legs. He felt someone lifting him and placing him into a wheeled wagon. A pony harnessed in front began trudging its way cautiously homeward. Saber, a forgotten part of the event, followed along on her own, but not before a final heartbreaking look back at the fallen Arrow. Jaythen never took his eyes from his devoted horse, even when they blurred again.
The pain was the first thing he felt when he woke. His eyes were still wet when they opened. He'd been crying in his sleep. The hand on his chest was motionless and it held the fingers of his right hand securely. The only other presence in the room was Neela. There was no sign of Master T'narr, and Jaythen immediately became concerned as he tried to reach through his bleariness to find focus. He caught Neela's eyes and they asked the question that would not form on his lips for fear of what had happened while he'd been sleeping.
Neela shook her head. "He's alive, Jaythen. Me'da is our medicine man. Our healer if you will. His abilities are highly respected. And my Tana is strong. How is the pain in your arm?"
"Hurts," Jaythen said, his dry lips stuck together making the words garbled. "Feels funny."
"Part of the arrow is still in your arm. Me'da had to see to T'narr before he could make any decisions on what to do with your injury. You arm is secured to your chest with bandages, so you can't move it. Here," she put a cup to his lips and encouraged a few sips. "He also fed you an herbal mixture to contain the pain while you slept. If your head feels a little cloudy, that's why. Take another sip."
The liquid created a cooling sensation from his throat to his belly, and he realized how thirsty he was. Asking for more, he tried to grab the cup with this good hand, only to have it pushed away.
"Sip slowly, bala-da."
There was that word again. He wondered about it as he asked in a hushed tone, "What does that word mean?"
"It's a term of affection used for Noma children. Similar, I believe, to the term 'padawan' that T'narr uses. I've not used it on anyone since my other son passed. T'narr's brother."
"I like it. Master T'narr says he'll teach me some of the Noma language. He said it can be our secret language that no one else on Coruscant would be able to figure out."
"Now that sounds like something my Tana would do. You and he have grown close since you've been here. I've seen it. You started out in great discomfort with each other, but things are changing."
"I don't want him to die, Neela. I have nowhere to go without him. No one else in the Jedi temple will train me. No one else wants me. I'll be sent away from the Jedi and to the agricorps." His eyes welled over again. It upset him even more that he'd seemed to have lost any and all ability to control his emotions.
Neela grasped his hand again. "Nonsense, Jaythen. You will come here to live if you have no home."
"What?" The boy was startled by what he thought he'd just heard, thinking his foggy mind was playing tricks on him. He wiped his wet face, smearing the tears across his cheeks.
"If there is nowhere else for you to go, I want you to come and live with us. You are family now, Jaythen. Family of my son is family to his own."
Not knowing what to say, Jaythen didn't say anything. He shifted uncomfortably as more of the herbal medicine that Me'da had given him wore off. He'd given up though on trying to stop the water from running rivers down his face. He found broke, and all he could say was "thank you."
Chief Ihaani suddenly stood in the doorway. His large frame was an imposing figure, but his kind face countered the physical presence. "Jaythen, you're awake. Good, good. Me'da will be in soon to see to your arm. He has T'narr resting comfortably."
A feeling of relief fell over the boy as he heard the update on his master. "Will he be all right?"
"Too soon to tell, young one, but our kind have a great healing power within us. If it's possible he'll recover, then his body is already on its way. He woke briefly. Asked about you. He was worried, though grateful that you were safe." Ihaani kneeled next to the bed. "And my wife speaks the truth. If T'narr does not recover, you may make your home with us for as long as you wish. You don't worry about your future." The big man winked, groaned himself off his knees and turned to his wife, speaking quietly. "Neela, I have some business to attend to, I shall return soon. There were three men responsible for this. One escaped. He will be dealt with accordingly. I know those men. They've harassed our son before, many times when he comes here. They bring issue with the fact that he is a Jedi, and have held that to him since he was a boy. Two of them are now dead. I suspect I know where to find the third. Check on T'narr in a short time. If he awakens again, get the boy into see him." Then he left.
Jaythen was curious about the conversation, overhearing a few words. But he didn't have the nerve or the energy to ask Neela. She seemed to sense his curiosity however and sat bedside. "Childhood enemies. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or just hatred for the Jedi, but they are the one thing that has made life difficult for T'narr when he comes home. Although they've never tried to kill him before. As powerful a negotiator as he is with the Jedi, his words have never made a dent in his relationship with those three. They had no desire to call a truce. It appears this was the next level."
"What will Chief Ihaani do to the third man?"
"That, young man, is not for you to worry about. You have enough issues of concern to deal with. Don't add anymore. You're in great pain at the moment." It wasn't a question.
Jaythen nodded and took a deep breath. "It's really bad. If I don't move at all, it's okay, but…"
"I'll get Me'da. Lie as still as you can."
She returned soon after with the big red man named Me'da. The man was as tall and broad as Ihaani, but his entire face was painted and only white feathers decorated his black hair. His face, though serious, was gentle. As was his touch. "You tell me when the pain becomes too bad, young one. I will stop." Carefully he began removing the bandages. The blood made them sticky, but Me'da had true healer hands. "The remainder of the arrow shaft will have to be removed. Your arm is infected. You probably feel a pulsing there." The apprentice nodded and Me'da continued. "That is not of concern, but is normal. My worry is that the nerves in your arm have been damaged and that you may not regain complete and normal use of the arm. But I will do what I can." The arm was free of the bandages and there was an explosion of purples, reds and blacks. Jaythen didn't even recognize it as part of himself. And if not for the pain, he would have sworn it wasn't. He knew he should be more upset about the idea that he might lose the use of his arm, but between the pain and the constant worry for his master, Jaythen couldn't entirely digest the meaning of the words. His eyes fell back to the medicine man healer placed several small leaves on his tongue. They were coated with colorful mixture of foul tasting paste. Jaythen tried to reject it but Me'da held his mouth closed until he swallowed. "This will make you sleepy and a little numb, Jaythen. Don't fight the feeling. Once you are asleep, I can remove the remainder of the arrow and treat the area. You won't feel a thing."
He felt Neela's hand on his own. Her fingers stroking his until he felt the entire left side of his body go numb. The last thing he heard as he drifted off was Neela's hypnotic voice. "Ny-yen fa, bala-da. Rest now."
The house was quiet for the next few days. The combination of medicines and fatigue kept Jaythen unconscious and settled. T'narr was kept more heavily sedated so that his body could begin the healing process. Me'da was a constant in the Kresson household during this time, keeping watch on both patients with a vigil that consisted of constant medicinal herbs and barrage of tribal chants that were said to bring about the healing spirits. He wanted to move both Jedi to the same room, but feared it might disturb their steady slumber. It was mid-day on the third day when there was any sign of life. T'narr groaned. His eyes fluttered. Neela was there, making sure the blankets, working hard to keep him warm, were tucked around his shoulders. With his chest a mass of deep ugly bruises, she was careful not to touch the area. She spoke to him in hushed tones as only a mother would a son.
Stroking his hair, her motherly instincts wasted no time kicking in despite her son being a man in his fifties. "I'm here, Tana. You're recovering, so don't move or talk."
The grey colored eyes that she knew so well fixed on her face and the corners of his mouth twitched, as if attempting to smile. Then he squinted and made several moaning sounds, trying to ask a question. Neela, to her credit knew where his mind would go first. T'narr's first instinct was always to think about others. She stopped him before he became too anxious. "Jaythen is well. He's still asleep. We had to keep him as quiet as possible, he was so upset. There was no way his body could rest without help. He needed this. I think he works himself up so badly that he can't function. He'll be all right. There is a complication with his left arm, but we'll address that later."
Though concern crossed the Jedi's face, he knew his padawan was safe in the care of his mother and the healing talents of Me'da. He felt himself nod once and couldn't stop from drifting off again. Neela kissed him on the forehead and stayed until he was quiet. Then she returned to the other room to see that Jaythen was awake and propped up on a pillow. Me'da sat bedside re-wrapping the left arm, after having smothered it with a curative herbal cream. Although awake, the boy seemed lost and a little lethargic. He did notice Neela enter the room though and tried to smile at her. A partial success.
"Jaythen, you look better. T'narr will be pleased. He was awake briefly."
The bandaging finished, Me'da patted Jaythen's knee. "The ointment should keep any additional swelling contained, and the infection seems better. The infectious fever has lessened. I don't know what the ultimate result of the injury will be, but I'm almost certain you will have lost some mobility and use. How much - well, a lot may depend on the technological abilities of your healers at home. For now, you'll need to get used to using that right arm for everything. The injury will take weeks to heal to the point of taking the bandage off and allowing you to begin using the arm again. I'm sorry, Jaythen. I can work much magic and the healing spirits are powerful, but there are times when only so much can be done. As for T'narr. He will survive. No major damage from what I can tell. With non fatal wounds, he heals quickly, as most Noma's do. The constant state of rest these past days was vital. He'll have pain for a couple of weeks, but in a month's time, other than scars, there will be no physical evidence that this happened. Be grateful that the assailants were not firing from a closer range. The outcome would have been far different."
As the medicine man spoke, Jaythen became more and more aware. He understood all that was said. The deeper implications of his own situation began to absorb into his reality. He couldn't help wondering why it wasn't more upsetting. The pain was upsetting, but the idea that he may never regain full use of his arm, he accepted without much concern. Perhaps it was an issue he could address with the healers back home. For now, he only wished to know one thing. "Mr. Me'da, may I see Master T'narr?"
The red man nodded. "Yes, that would be a good idea. Even if he's sleeping, your presence will be positive. We'll go slowly though. Your legs are not sturdy. And your every attention should be on your arm when you move around. The more careful you are, the less pain. And the less chance of breaking the stitching that holds the wound together."
Gradually, at little more than a snail's pace, the padawan scooted off the bed. Me'da secured his right arm. The big man was strong enough to lift his entire weight with one arm, but knew it would be best for the boy to get his legs working again. Neela went on ahead and moved a cushioned chair close to T'narr's bed. The Jedi was snoring softly, his breathing slightly labored. The bandages that wrapped his chest were soaked red, but Me'da was quick to point out that the majority of that blood was not fresh. "I need to change his wrappings out, but will wait until I give him another sedation herb late this evening. You may sit with him, Jaythen. Just keep your tone quiet. If he wakes, you can offer a few sips of water. I'll return to see about him later. I need to wash up, eat and rest. Neela, you wake me if I'm needed."
He was almost out the door when Jaythen's small voice stopped his momentum. "Mr. Me'da?"
The hulking man with the gentle face was worn, but he addressed the young Jedi sympathetically, knowing what he'd been through. "Yes, Jaythen?"
Reaching up with his good hand to wipe his eyes, Jaythen said, "Thank you for saving my master."
Me'da gave a tired but kind smile. "You're welcome."
A familiar voice was close. Young and anxious. T'narr knew that voice. When Jaythen had been the first to fall to the arrows, he wondered if he'd lost that voice forever. He forced his eyes to open and they fell on a most grateful sight. His padawan - healthy and alive. Voice thick and raspy, he found enough effort to speak as he lifted his right hand and covered the smaller hand. "Padawan." Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes dampening the pillow.
Younger tears followed. "Master," was all Jaythen could say on first breath, so overjoyed to hear his teacher's voice again. "I thought you were going to die. I saw you fall. And then…" Then he remembered more. "Arrow. He fell on you. Arrow is dead, Master. I'm sorry. I forgot. Those men, they killed him."
Despite his best efforts, the master Jedi could not stop the flood of tears that continued. So relieved to see his apprentice, but now hearing the news of his beloved horse. The noblest of creatures. One that had been his companion for many years. The loss was difficult to accept. "He was a good horse. A good friend. I shall miss him greatly."
He felt the smaller hand tighten around his, Jaythen bowing his head to honor the loss of Arrow. T'narr found himself wondering how anyone could have ever turned their back on this boy when asked to be his master. Emotional issues aside, he was perhaps the most compassionate person T'narr had ever met. And felt fortunate to be the one to lead him into the future. He tried to convey that to his leaner through their bond, but with the tendrils still growing between them, only some of the feeling came across. Jaythen though felt it and reached for it. He grabbed it and held it in his mind. Then he saw T'narr beginning to slide into sleep once more and squeezed his hand. "I love you, Master."
T'narr's eyes were wet when they closed again, but a hint of a smile pursed his lips as he fell into unconsciousness.
A week later, both Jedi were recovered enough to be off bed rest, although they were under strict orders to go slowly and not do anything to stress the bodies. The pair gathered Saber from her pen and wandered out into the sun-drenched day. Me'da had recommended that they spend some time in the lake's hot spot. The warmth would help the wounds and body aches they both felt, although bandages would stay on, and Neela would help change them when they returned to the house. Saber was along to carry a few supplies, including lunch. Jaythen thought she might need some company with her friend Arrow no longer there.
As they walked, they talked. "Master, why did those men do this to us?"
"I'm very angry and upset that they hurt you, Jaythen. I never expected them to descend to such a level. They've been problematic in the past. They insisted that because I was a Jedi, that I thought myself above them and was only returning to my home planet to throw that in the faces of the other tribes."
"You would never do that."
"Unfortunately some thought differently. Some people hate others simply because they are different. You'll see that as you get older and we go on missions. The color of skin, the religious affiliations, the way some live their personal lives. All of these things breed hate in others. Those men hate me because I am a Jedi. No other reason. It's an unfortunate and ugly part of our galaxy."
"What happened to the third man? Your father went to look for him, but he didn't say what happened."
"There will be no further problems from him, Padawan. Don't waste energy worrying about him."
Jaythen accepted that as meaning he wasn't going to be told exactly what had happened. And he didn't need to be told. So he dropped the subject and drifted to a new one. "What about Arrow? Did they bring him home?"
A brief bout of blurred vision as T'narr pushed away the sadness he felt at the loss of his equine companion. "Yes. We have a sacred burial place where animals that have served us rest for eternity. Arrow was brought home and buried there. In time I will carve a wooden memorial for him and place it at his grave."
"Will you get a new horse?"
T'narr paused and took a steadying breath. "I hadn't really thought about it. I suppose I should so that you and I might continue our rides. You're a natural rider, Jaythen. I would hate to give that up."
"Maybe Saber can help pick out a horse for you. She misses Arrow. She needs a friend." The boy turned around to the brown horse plodding along behind them. "Right girl?" She tossed her head. "See, Master? I told you."
For the first time, T'narr noted that Saber didn't have a lead rope tied to her halter. She was simply following along behind Jaythen without any urging or encouragement. "When did you teach her to follow you without a lead?"
Jaythen shrugged. "I didn't teach her. She just follows. I think she likes me, Master. She doesn't care about any of my problems. She doesn't care if I cry or get upset at something. She just stays with me until I'm better."
The elder Jedi shook his head in amazement. "Don't think I've ever seen any of our horses act in that way. Seems you not only have a love for animals, but some show that love back to you. That's quite a gift, Jaythen."
He shrugged again. "Maybe she's just smart, Master ."
"That could be. Perhaps she can teach my new horse some of the same manners then, yes?"
"I know she can."
"Tomorrow then. Several Noma herders are bringing in some trades from another tribe. We use horses more than some tribes, so we have a barter system. We give them items that we make and they need, and they in turn offer some of their finest animals. That's how Arrow came to be mine. Oh, here we are. The hot spot, or pagosah – which is what my people call it. It means healing water. See the steam rising? It's a phenomenon that we've never understood. But you can't argue with nature. She has her own mysteries. And we are certainly indebted to her for this one. Saber you stay here where it's dry. Keep those hooves of yours happy, all right?" It took a second for T'narr to realize that he was speaking to the horse as if she understood his words completely. And when she tossed her head up and down several times after he'd said it, the perplexed look on his face made his apprentice laugh out loud. "Okay, Jaythen, that's just strange. She can't understand all of that. Can she?"
"Nature works in mysterious ways, Master. Right?"
"Funny." Slipping his shoes off, T'narr stepped into the pagosah shallows. They both wore light fabric shirts and short pants made from the skin of a native water animal. The shirt fabric was such as it did not stick to the bandages. The fabric also maintained heat and kept that heat close to the body, aiding healing in the process. The tall Jedi descended downwards into the deeper water. He felt himself sighing as the incredible warmth immediately surrounded his sore body. Jaythen was apprehensive at first, until he felt that first dip of water, then he quickly emerged himself to his chin as the steam billowed around them both.
"Master, this is…I've never felt anything like this before. My whole body is warm, even my insides. I can't feel any pain right now either. If I lived here, I'd never get out of this water. Ever!"
T'narr laughed. A good feeling. Since their rocky beginning, he and his apprentice had been through a great deal in a short time. They were more comfortable with each other every day. Inwardly he thanked the force, Yoda and even Qui-Gon for bringing this boy to him. Problems aside he brought a joy and energy that T'narr couldn't remember ever feeling before. He knew this pairing was right. He smiled at his charge.
"It's a good thing you don't live here then. Because if you stay too long in these waters, you'll feel like you're dragging a full sized wookie behind you. That's the affect the heat can have a human body. Three hours is the maximum. Anymore than that and you'll be needing recovery from your recovery."
"Too bad. I can't wait to tell Obi-Wan about this."
The mention of his learner's slightly older Jedi friend made T'narr ask something. "Is there no one from your age class that might consider you a friend, Jaythen? There was no other besides Kele? We're they all different towards you?"
"Mostly. Especially after Master Valree died. There was one boy, Eryck. When Kele died, he was the only one who tried to console me. But I think I pushed him away because it hurt so much. We did sometimes do class work together. He was taken as a padawan right after the fire though. I haven't seen him since then."
"Do you know who he's apprenticed under?"
"I don't know the master's name, but he has a blue face and four arms. Oh and big bulgy yellow eyes."
The master grinned. "Ah, now it makes sense. That's Master Marcus Kaavi. Marcus hates being without an apprentice. He lives to train. It'll be a day or two after one of his becomes a Knight, and he'll have a new one picked out. Padawans love him because he's easy going and laughs a lot. And I mean a lot! He's quite entertaining. And you'll never seen him talk down to an apprentice, even those not his own. Probably the most relaxed master Jedi you'll ever meet. Never has a bad word to say about anyone, and I don't think any have ever muttered a bad word about him. Eryck is in good hands. I think we'll look them up when we get home."
Jaythen agreed with a slight hint of disappointment as he said, "Master, can I still be friends with Obi-Wan?"
At first, T'narr was puzzled by the question, but then realized that his bringing up the age-mate thing again might have led the young Jedi to think he didn't approve of such a young apprentice hanging out with an older one. "Sure you can. But you might find some things easier if you have a good friend your own age to compare with. Obi-Wan is older and more advanced. Sometimes he'll need the company of his own age too."
"I know, but he doesn't look down on me for my weaknesses. He says he has his own."
"We all have our own. Some just will never admit to them. Obi-Wan's a good influence. I'm glad you and he have become friends."
The sun's rays splashing on their faces, the pair soon found a companionable silence. T'narr leaned his head back and closed his eyes, taking in the strength of the sun. Jaythen had eyes wide open and surveying the surroundings. The lake beyond the pagosah was expansive. In the distance he could see the hazy forms of mountains cresting in foggy peaks. Closer in, dense forest parked along one shoreline. Long rolling plains along the other. Every so often, animals emerged from the forest to lap up fresh water until their thirst was quenched. Jaythen recognized some of them from his studies. And now to see them in the flesh, his eyes never wavered from watching. "Master, those are elkon, the ones with the branching antlers. And the smaller ones are analopes. And I see xofers and thanpa's too. Are they all native to Kembar Lune?"
The Jedi spoke without moving from his relaxed position, eyes never opened. "They are. That's impressive, Jaythen. Those animals are rare in the universe. Found only on maybe one or two planets. You've spotted and identified them quickly. You have a good knowledge of animals. That will probably serve you well during a mission at some point in the future.
"Why haven't we seen any of those animals before today?"
"They're wary creatures. Our people and the other tribes hunt them for food and weapons. They must not sense a threat from us though since they're so close. If you keep still and maintain your distance, you'll probably see many more of the locals. There are hundreds of different species living in just this area alone. Most are smaller, but for every small creature, there's a larger one that would enjoy eating it. That whole food chain thing is alive and well here."
It was quiet again. The hushed hissing of the steam was oddly comforting as he floated in the water. Through the hissing though, Jaythen could hear the singing of the various song birds in the nearby trees. Along the other shore, waterfowl waded knee deep. Like statues they stood until their intended targets came into view. Like a spear, their elongated pointy beaks were driven under the water, returning with small fish as a catch. "We could learn something about how they fish, Master." The boy smirked. "They never miss. Unlike us."
"We're too noisy and impatient. Those birds will stand there all day long like that."
"The gray ones are heyruns. And the white ones are eegems."
Finally T'narr lifted his head and stared at his apprentice. "You really know all this, don't you?"
"Yes, Master. After Master Valree died, that's when I started studying animals more. Learning about them was a way to take my mind off of the bad things. It was comforting because it was something I was good at and it didn't…well, it didn't make me cry. But I never thought I'd get to see so many of those creatures in real life! They're so much more beautiful in the wild than on a data pad."
A large brown and white bird glided over the lake. Several others followed. Almost in unison, they stalled in mid flight before diving head first into the water. Each bird surfaced with a small shiny fish in its beak.
"Master, what are those birds? I've never seen anything like them. They're huge! And their heads are completely white. What are they?"
"Those are eagles. And not just any eagle. It's a Wehali eagle. They were all but extinct here years ago, but the Noma's brought them back and now they flourish. You'll only find them on Kembar Lune. The snow white feathers on their head are unique to all birds. My people consider them a sacred animal and work to protect them."
Jaythen listened to his teacher, but watched the great winged predators continue their assault on the local fish population. He was confident that he'd never see anything like this on Coruscant. "They're the most beautiful things I've ever seen."
"Indeed they are, Padawan."
Spending another hour in the pool, T'narr figured it was time they remove themselves before they both turned to mush. Carefully they retreated and mucked their way back to Saber, who was dozing peacefully in the sun. A warm robe was draped around Jaythen's shoulders. "Keep that on until we get back to the house and keep your arm still. Since the bandages are wet, they might tear. Me'da will be by later to help us change them. We need to learn how to rewrap your arm correctly. I don't think my anya and I did it justice this morning."
Looking at his oddly bandaged arm, Jaythen laughed. "It is a little awkward to look at, but it works. I think you and Neela did a nice job, Master."
"I figured you'd say that."
"Honest, Master! Honest!"
"All right, I believe you. Bring that horse of yours along."
Jaythen floundered in a restless sleep that night until he felt bad enough to wake his teacher in the next bed. Navigating the dark until he was at the other's bedside, he stood almost motionless. T'narr awoke, feeling he was being watched. He knew who it was, but was uncertain why the boy was out of bed. "Jaythen?"
"Master, I don't feel well. My arm feels funny. And I'm achy."
With a flick of his hand, T'narr brought light to the candles and illuminated the room. He frowned when he saw Jaythen's pitiful face staring at him. "That's maybe the saddest look I've ever seen. What's wrong, Padawan? Sit."
"I'm sick. I think," he replied as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Forehead was hot, as was his chest. T'narr gently moved his hand up and down the bandaged part of the boy's bad arm and asked, "Any pain where I'm touching?"
"Yes, around my elbow. It's throbbing. Maybe the water in the hot pool hurt it."
"Not likely. Probably a new infection or the maybe the first infection still lingering. We'll have Me'da take a look in the morning. You'll have to work through the discomfort for now. You'll be all right until then?"
Chewing his lip and thinking too much, Jaythen gave away his answer without words. His emotions played out on his face so easily, he couldn't lie about it if he wanted to.
"That's what I thought." T'narr slipped out of bed, drew his robe on, grabbed Jaythen's and then moved him into the main living room. "Sit on the couch there. I'll make some of my mother's special tea that's supposed to help induce sleep. Never worked on me when I tried making it at the temple, but maybe those ingredients just aren't as authentic there as they are here. Either way, it's easy on the stomach and warm. Might help your worries too."
"How can you tell that I'm worried, Master?"
"You either don't hide, or you can't hide it. And I think I'm beginning to figure out how your emotions work. You get troubled easily, but what triggers it is what I'm discovering." T'narr returned from the kitchen area to stand behind Jaythen and put his hands on his shoulders. He leaned towards him and put his head along side. "But that's all right. The better I can figure this out, the better we can work on it, right?" He smiled and patted the slight shoulders when Jaythen nodded. T'narr lit a few more candles as the tea was brewing. He sprinkled in a little of this and a little of that, as his mother used to say, and returned with two wonderfully steaming cups of tea. His own cup full was minus the special sleeping spices. "Sip slowly."
Though the room was dimly lit, it was easy enough to make out the coy look that crossed Jaythen's face. The look spoke volumes and T'narr could see right through and into it.
Then he realized that he…could hear it?
Gasping slightly at the implications of what this meant - that every word of every thought emanating from the apprentice at the moment, was being heard and understood through their mental link. He felt Jaythen reach for the force at that exact moment, trying desperately to calm his emotions. T'narr heard Jaythen thinking things towards him and mentally saying the unsaid. And he could read every last word and feeling behind it.
Jaythen conveyed how very attached he'd become to his master since they'd arrived on Kembar Lune. And how he held a great need to be loved and cared for by someone. A natural emotion and need in most humans, Jaythen's was compounded by the losses he'd suffered in his young life. His need was constant and it was part of what broke his emotions down so quickly. The boy's thoughts told T'narr that he was filling that spot in his life once held by his parents and Master Valree. They'd shared a great deal in the last few weeks and Jaythen had easily fallen into the care that his master offered. He'd almost forgotten their first month together when things were so awkward and clumsy. Now, he had a family again.
All of this was conveyed into the force, and T'narr felt each tendril clearly as if they had been of his own thoughts. It was slightly scary he had to admit. A bond like that was rare among Jedi, where they could read complete thoughts of the other and communicate without oral words. It concerned the man, but only for a few moments. That's when he started to understand these things from Jaythen's point of view and realize how special their bond was becoming. It didn't take long for him to recognize that he was part of something very unique within the Jedi Order.
Jaythen knew that T'narr had felt those thoughts and understood them, because he felt his master's return thoughts. He held no fear of the discovery, even after holding the secret for this long. It meant that their pairing was right. And once he felt the surprise fade from his master's thoughts, Jaythen asked carefully, "Master, are there other Jedi who can communicate that way?" He sipped his tea.
"Well. Not many. I had no idea I could. Or you could. It's somewhat startling to feel that in my head. It's natural to feel feelings and moods, but I heard your thoughts word for word, almost as if you were talking out loud to me."
"It's called telepathy, isn't it?"
"It is. I don't know any Jedi who can achieve it to such completeness. Maybe a stray word or two, but not such intense entire thoughts. Perhaps Master Yoda? I don't know. Now I'm wondering if we should tell anyone of this. Or if we should we keep it to ourselves. It could potentially be dangerous if many found out. Enemies could use it against us. We'll have to think on that. But…incredible. I never knew I possessed such power."
"I knew that I did."
The comment about knocked T'narr for a loop, almost spilling his tea on his lap. "You what? You did?"
"Yes. I used to hear some of the thoughts of the others in my class. Sometimes I could hear the exact words. I never let them know that I could hear them though. So I don't know if any might have been able to speak back. Some of the things I heard them say – heard them think - were hurtful. I never told anyone. Not even Master Valree. Maybe I should have. But I thought it might push people even further away from me. I should have told you, Master. But I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Being rejected again I guess. So many other Jedi looked past me when Master Yoda asked them about training me. When you said yes, I didn't want to be any more problematic than I already was."
"Padawan, you are not problematic. You have problems, yes. But who doesn't? That doesn't make you any less a Jedi than any of your other age-mates, or anyone else."
Jaythen shrugged and took a swallow of tea. "I was scared, Master. You were my last chance to be a Jedi. And my last chance to find someone who cared about me." Tears surfaced again as Jaythen emotions took control.
Placing his cup down, T'narr moved to the couch and sat next to his learner. He placed a careful arm around the small shoulders and immediately felt the boy lean into the support. The man grimaced at the discomfort the weight caused to his sore chest, but there were more important things happening at the moment, and a little pain wasn't one of them.
"Tea is good, Master. Tastes like macaberry fruit." The first tears began.
"That's because it is. Take another sip. That'll probably do you in for the night. How's your arm?"
"Still feels weird. And I still feel hot. But a little better." He surrendered the cup to his master and leaned deeper into the offered comfort. He whispered over their bond.
I'm glad I found someone who cares about me, Master. Thank you.
"Close your eyes, Jaythen," he Jedi said gently, smiling as their minds touched. Then he added. "I'm glad to have someone who cares about me as well."
More tears from the boy. But he didn't care. It felt good to release some of what had been pent up. A secret that he had held for so long was finally known to someone. And that someone didn't reject him, but instead embraced him.
As Jaythen started drifting off, he reached his mind out once more to his master, saying the words that the tears wouldn't allow him to say out loud.
I love you, Master.
T'narr tightened his hold a bit more and felt the boy finding sleep. A wave of the hand and the three flickering candles were extinguished. The master then, never realizing he had it within himself to care so much about an eight year old apprentice returned the thought.
I love you too, Jaythen. Sleep now.
The next morning found a feverish apprentice secured next to his master. He'd slept, but the infection causing the fever hadn't lessened during the night. Thankfully, Me'da arrived early and wasted no time seeing to Jaythen's left arm. Blood had soaked the inner wrapping, as several of the stitches had torn when the arm became inflamed and enlarged around the elbow. Jaythen sat still as T'narr encouraged him to relax while the medicine man disturbed the sore area.
"Looks a lot worse than it is," Me'da said as he reached into his satchel. "But I want to clean inside again, so Jaythen I'll need to numb your entire arm. You won't feel a thing after I rub in the cream. Take this." He handed him what appeared to be a piece of brown tree bark. "Chew it and swallow. It'll strengthen the numbing agent that I'll be using. It might make your stomach a little upset. That's normal and shouldn't last more than a few hours. Chew that up and then lie down on your right side. T'narr will stay with you. Ready?"
Jaythen took a big breath and nodded nervously as he began grinding at the bark. He'd tasted worse, but it wasn't something he wanted to make part of his regular diet. He made a face as he pushed it down into his belly, then watched the healing man lather his bare arm with a dull gray ointment that smelled surprisingly better than the tree bark had tasted. T'narr motioned for him to lie down. "I'll sit right here. Let me have your other hand. Hold on tight if it hurts. Breathe slow and easy."
The procedure took a little more than two hours, Me'da making sure that the wound was as clean as it could possibly be. Then he rewrapped the arm and secured it to the small body. "You can sit up, Jaythen. I didn't leave any room for your arm to move, but you should notice the swelling better by tomorrow, and that'll give you some room in the bandage. If by tomorrow you don't notice any difference, call for me. For today, go easy."
Final instructions and Me'da was gone. T'narr propped Jaythen upright with pillows. "How's your stomach? Can you do with some breakfast?"
"I am hungry, Master. My stomach is okay."
As if on cue, Neela appeared from the kitchen with a plate of food. She'd been taking note of what the boy ate and what he didn't eat, and loaded the plate with his favorites. "Two eggs, four strips of elkon bacon. and a trishi fruit." The plate was greeted by a boyish smile and several licks to the lips.
"Neela, how you know that I like these best?"
"I've raised two boys. Nothing gets by me. I want you to eat and you need to eat so you can get better." She offered her son a knowing wink as Jaythen began inhaling the plate of hot food. T'narr laughed under his breath. He never failed to be amazed by his mother's abilities.
When breakfast was finished, he and his padawan were up and out. The horsemen would be bringing in the new horses today and T'narr wanted his padawan to see the spectacle.
The sun was ascending quickly into the stunning blue sky as the first sounds of heavy hoof beats neared. "Listen, Jaythen. They're coming in from the west. You'll see a huge cloud of dust and then the herd will emerge. It's the thundering sound of the approach more than the sight that is so fantastic. Listen."
The distant thunder drew closer. The enormous powdery cloud obstructed their view of the approaching animals. But just as his teacher had said, it was the sound that was exhilarating, he even felt it in his chest as they rumbled close. From out of the torrent of dust, forms began to emerge. Black. White. Chestnut. Bay. Pinto. White markings and dark points. The horses roared past and into the large empty pen. Jaythen saw Saber lift her head and paw the ground at their arrival. Having no idea what it meant, he could only enjoy the wildness of it all. The four men who brought in the herd of animals shouted and called to each other in their Noma language as they lifted their arms in the air and slapped their own mounts on the shoulder.
"Master, what are they saying?"
"It's not about the words so much as the feeling. They thrive off driving herds for long distances. It's almost like a drug for them. The thrill. The excitement. It's addictive. Now they'll be off and leave the task of weeding through the animals to others, like us."
"Not as exciting for them, I guess."
"Definitely not. But now we get to choose. Naturally this is where being the son of the Chief has its perks. I get my pick before any others."
"I like that spotted one over there. Looks like he has brown freckles all over his body."
"They all look in fine shape. Solid and sturdy. This will be a difficult decision."
Glancing away for a moment, Jaythen noticed Saber in her adjacent pen nipping sprightly at a tall dark horse marked with spectacular splashes of white. His face was a blaze of white. All four legs were covered in white stockings that ran to his knee area. The rest of his coat was midnight black. His thick neck was arched majestically and showed off his long, dramatic mane. Flashy was the word best to describe him in Jaythen's mind. "I think Saber likes that one, Master. Either that or she's telling him off."
T'narr moved around, entering the first pen and walking to Saber's side. He scratched her muzzle. "You like this one, girl?" As if waiting to be asked the question, the plane brown horse tossed her head once. "He's a little flashy with all those markings on him, isn't he?" Another head toss, and the older Jedi snorted and said "I don't know if you actually understand me or if you're just throwing your head around like that because of all the excitement. I need more time though." Saber swayed her head back and forth, almost knocking Jaythen over as he approached.
"No, Master. She understands. She's telling you to pick that one. I think she's in love. Why else would she nip at him like that?"
"I can think of many reasons."
The flamboyant colt reached his head over the fence and nipped back at the mare, finally tired of her antics. Saber received the signal, and they quickly settled into more relaxed nickering session.
"They're talking to each other. Wonder what they're saying."
"You really think flashy boy here is the one? I mean it would make sense to pick a horse that Saber is happy with. So when we leave, she'll have company."
Jaythen stroked Saber's neck with his good hand, careful to keep his wrapped arm away from her - in case of any further antics. The little mare nuzzled her master quietly then shoved her nose towards the new horse. "That's the one, Master."
"Well," T'narr said slowly, taking in the animal, trying to see what was underneath those stellar good looks. He was well muscled. Solid hind quarters. He estimated him about three years old. And the Jedi admitted he did love the immense beauty of the animal. "All right. I'll take him. You stay here with Saber. I'll get him on a lead and bring him out."
And a few minutes later, T'narr stood shoulder to shoulder with his new mount. "He'll need a name of course. What does Saber suggest, Jaythen?"
The boy giggled. "Master, she can't tell us names. She's just a horse."
"Oh, now you pull that 'she's just a horse thing' on me. She wasn't just a horse when she was telling us to pick this one. You two are ganging up on me, I can feel it." He took the sable colt by the lead rope and moved him into the smaller pen. As he did, there was that one thing about him that stood out more than anything. His looks. "Well, he's flashy. How about we call him Flash?"
Head inquired to the side, Jaythen studied the name in his head and consulted with Saber. She whinnied loudly. "We like that name, Master."
"Flash it is then. Hopefully he rides as good as he looks. I'll leave him with your mare and see how he adapts. I suspect with Saber to keep him in line he'll do fine."
It only took seconds for the newly-named Flash to fall into favor in his new enclosure. Saber wasted no time in demonstrating her dominance of course and just like that, all was well.
The young Jedi glanced up at his teacher. "What else will we do today, Master?"
"How do you feel? You look tired." T'narr placed a hand on the boy's forehead. Fever was better, but still present.
"I'm okay, I guess."
"And you're tired."
"Yes, I'm tired," he admitted. "Maybe I should lie down for a while. But it feels like a waste of a beautiful day to spend it in bed."
"It's not a waste if it's for your health. Besides, Me'da wants you to take it easy. Let's get your datapad. I'll punch up a few lessons for you. I've been lacking in your Jedi duties since we've been here. And since saber practice is out for a while, studying is the best course of action."
Trying not to look disappointed, Jaythen nodded obediently. "I've been forgetting lately that I have a Jedi life to go back to eventually. Life here is so different. It'll be hard to go back to the temple."
"You have no idea, Padawan. I've done this countless times, and it never gets any easier. Each time I leave, I miss this place a little more. But the will of the force calls. This place is made sweeter by only being able to visit periodically. I enjoy it that much more." The big Jedi sighed longingly, before refocusing. "But enough of that. I've decided to extend our stay here a bit longer. At the least, that'll give us another two weeks. Let's enjoy that and not think about going back to work." A hand on Jaythen's good shoulder, and T'narr escorted him back to the house. "Make your spot on the couch. I'll get your datapad."
Jaythen's studies were never an issue. He was a bright and fast learner when it came to most subjects. A one hand handicap didn't do much to faze him either, although it made him slower at punching in answers and questions on the pad. Even feeling under the weather though, he studied until his eyes could stay open no longer. The datapad slipped from his hand and smacked on the floor, startling him awake.
T'narr laughed.
"Huh? Oh. Sorry, Master," he replied as he reached down for the small device. "I'll finish my last lesson before I sleep. It was something about the living force…no, ship mechanics…no, um…"
The datapad taken from his grasp, Jaythen lifted his head, only to have it bob to one side.
"I think your studies are done for now, Padawan. Lie down."
Never was one so grateful to find the comfort of a couch or the warmth of a handmade quilt. Within seconds, the young Jedi was sleeping soundly. T'narr took the datapad in the kitchen area to look over the work. Always thorough, Jaythen was a good student. The work was complete and detailed. There were lulls in some places, most likely the result of the severe bought of exhaustion overloading a small body. But T'narr was impressed. If they could just work past the emotional problems, and now the handicap of the arm, the potential was there for the learner to become a great Jedi. T'narr felt the first feelings of pride welling. Something he never thought he'd feel towards another, with his desire to work alone most of his life. Now he found himself wondering how much he missed in not taking on the training of an apprentice earlier in life. Or, perhaps there had been a reason for that. He knew the force worked in mysterious ways. The bringing together of he and Jaythen Talari perhaps was no accident. In fact with each passing day, T'narr knew for certain that their pairing was neither accident nor coincidence. There was a reason behind it all. And maybe the reason was just that they needed each other, and this was the right time for that to all come together. Could it be so simple? Ultimately it didn't matter. They were a team now and would be for a long time to come.
He returned to the bedroom and watched Jaythen sleep, marveling at how such a small figure could bring such joy to his once solitary life. And almost as if she had read his mind, Neela came up behind him and put her hands on his shoulders, massaging and comforting gently as only a mother could do. She leaned towards her son, careful not to put any pressure on his chest area where his wounds were still sensitive.
"He brings you the same joy that you and your brother brought me. Don't question it. Appreciate it. He's the son that I always wanted you to have, because I knew how wonderful a father you'd make. You've not disappointed me, Tana. This boy is special because he makes you complete, as children will do. Love him and care for him no matter what obstacles fall into your path. Now, let him sleep. He doesn't need you staring at him. He'll sleep for some time. Trust me, a mother knows these things."
With a brief head tilt to the side to kiss his mother on the cheek, T'narr got up and followed her outside to enjoy the afternoon sun.
Over the next week, wounds healed and a young Jedi began learning how to engage in the basics of daily life with the employment of only one good hand. His left arm he could control, but it was of little use. Unable to grasp tightly, unable to grip, essentially his left hand became a tool to balance things that he carried in his other hand. Once Me'da had wrapped the arm by itself, without being secured to his body, Jaythen's naturally and instinctively tried to use the hand - without much success.
Yet despite the loss the padawan had suffered, there was no sign of frustration. No sign of anger. No sign of self pity. Frankly, T'narr was amazed at the fact. He could imagine his own reaction to losing such a part of himself. Jaythen seemed to take it all in stride. As if it was meant to be and just a part of what he now was.
"Master, I should do resistance training, right? To strengthen my good arm? Because it's going to get a lot of extra work."
"We can do a little of that here, but once we get home, I'm sure the healers will give you a better idea of what you need to do to compensate."
"But I can still swing a light saber, can't I?"
"I don't see why not. With extra time and specialized training, you'll probably be swinging that thing better than most Jedi with two good arms."
They poked around the house a while. The dark gray clouds and their smattering of rain now moved into a fully fledged downpour. They'd spend the evening indoors.
Chief Ihaani was gone for several days. So it was only the three of them. Neela prepared a warm dinner to counter the damp chill of the weather.
Jaythen sat on the couch studying his datapad. Bored with his studies after a time, he stopped to look around the room. The art and paintings decorating the walls seemed more interesting today than they'd been in the last weeks. The boy zeroed on in one piece in particular. A circular object with a spider-like webbing design inside. Several feathers dangled purposefully underneath. Three turquoise colored stones decorated specific points on the circle. It was simple and beautiful. And it made him ask questions.
"Master, what is that thing on the wall?" He pointed in the direction of the object.
T'narr hesitated a moment, his mind floating briefly into the past before he spoke. "My brother made that for Neela when he was about your age. It's called a shubbeka'she. It means spider circle. It's a spiritual symbol that is supposed to being health and safety to all it watches. Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Very." Jaythen paused. His jade-green eyes not missing the hint of emotional struggle beginning to come across his master's face and across their bond. He didn't want to intrude into private painful thoughts, but he did want to learn more about T'narr and his family. Pushing away the uncertainty, he questioned his teacher. "Master, how did your brother die?"
At first, T'narr opened his mouth to speak but said nothing. As with the padawan, the older Jedi had his own personal pain. Most of it centered on his beloved older brother, Sha'rec. He kept those memories bottled up most of the time. It seemed easier that way. But there was a trust he now shared with Jaythen that told him it was all right to confide in the youngster.
So he did.
"Sha'rec was my brother's name. He was six years older than me. I loved him and looked up to him when I was younger. Actually, I never stopped looking up to him despite his troubles."
Jaythen tilted his head, inquiring silently.
"He developed a need - a desperate need for an addictive drug. He struggled with it for years, never stopping his fight, but losing that battle each time. The drug did irreversible damage to his body. Eventually it overwhelmed him. The last two years of his life were spent in bed, struggling for every day, for every moment – for every breath. He passed several years ago. I wasn't here with him when he died. I regret not being able to be at his bedside. But his death was for the best. We could not bear to see him continue to suffer. His life decisions killed him, but he was a good person, Jaythen. Personal struggles, no matter now difficult, do not make a bad person. He could never defeat his demons and eventually they defeated him. I miss him every day. I have a very similar shubbeka'she that hangs in our apartment at home. It was another that Sha'rec made, but this one while he was sick. It's very special to me."
As grey eyes glazed over, T'narr made no attempt to hide the pain. He waited for his learner's reaction, but none came - at least verbally. There was a push against his mind as Jaythen connected their thoughts and whispered silently through their bond.
I'm sorry for your brother, Master. For your loss. You loved him just like I loved my parents and Master Valree. That can't ever been taken away. I wish I could have met him.
T'narr relaxed into the comfort of that bond and responded, still working to feel completely comfortable with this intimate form of communication. He closed his eyes.
I wish you could have too, Padawan. He was full of life and vigor, especially with children. Children loved his larger than life personality and how he always treated them as equals. You would have loved him. I have no doubt. I miss him more than I could have ever imagined.
Jaythen broke their link, got up from the couch and walked the few feet to where his master sat. He reached over and wrapped his good arm around T'narr's neck and hugged him tightly. When he released the embrace, he asked, "Master, could I make a shubbeka'she?"
A few stray tears had to be wiped away from the older eyes, but T'narr smiled as he dried his face. "I would be honored to teach you how, my padawan."
Master and padawan hands intertwined as the pair moved as one. The threads of the shubbeka'she formed its magical web. Jaythen's handicap obstructing him only slightly as he allowed the force and the sure hands of his teacher to lead the way through the making. At times during the two hours of creating, his concentration was so intense that beads of sweat bubbled on his brow. He was determined to do his best.
When complete, the web was far from perfect, but it was fitting an eight year old boy. His face beamed proudly as the green eyes sparkled. "We did it, Master! It's beautiful."
"You did it, Jaythen. I only guided you along. I felt you find that balance between your good hand and the force. You joined them together and they made a mutual team. Very good, Padawan."
Holding the thinly threaded object high, Jaythen stepped forwarded and placed it into his teacher's hand. "This is for you, Master. That's why I wanted to make one. I feel how sad you are when you think of the two that your brother made for you. This one can be of a happier time. Not a time of loss…"
"But a time of finding," the Jedi finished as his throat tightened. "Thank you, Padawan. I will hang it in our apartment at home, next to the one the Sha'rec made."
"Really?" The boy's eyes brightened.
"Yes, really. I can't think of any other place it should go."
A smile shared and the day wound down.
That evening, they found themselves in the village center. The heart of the Noma people. All were gathered around a bonfire bigger than Jaythen could have ever imagined. A ring of stone surrounded the blaze, standing several feet from the most intense heat. The stones were placed not side by side, but in a wavy pattern. While it made no sense to Jaythen, the supreme care with which the Noma children lay the stones - he figured it was probably an age-old ritual. He wanted to ask T'narr about it, but he was with his father at the moment, off in the shadows.
Some time passed and T'narr had still not returned. Jaythen sat alone, the fire warming his face so much so that he had to move back. A small tinge of worry began to creep into his stomach and it rolled with anxiety. Looking around once more, Jaythen closed his eyes and focused on the force, quickly locating the older Jedi.
Master, are you all right? You've been gone a long time.
Surprised to hear the youngster's voice in his head, T'narr then realized he'd been gone longer than expected, leaving his apprentice alone. He cleared his head, still working on getting used to this new form of communication.
I'm fine, Padawan. I'm sorry for my absence. My father and I have been going over some tribal concerns. He has asked my advice on certain matters as he prepares for the Ishkode ceremony. I won't be much longer.
Yes, Master. I was just worried is all. It's very dark beyond the fire.
It's all right. I'll finish up here and then return to you. We'll watch the ceremony together.
Okay. Thank you, Master.
To his word, T'narr returned five minutes later. He strides were slow, still compensating for the pain in his chest, but he lowered himself easily onto the grass next to his charge. Jaythen was pleased to be greeted with T'narr's arm around his shoulder - pulled close for a brief second.
The Noma voices around the fire quieted and there was a change in the air. T'narr leaned towards Jaythen and spoke quietly.
"This is called the Ishkode or fire ceremony and demonstrates how our planet got its name. Kembar Lune means twin moons. And this ritual happens only when the twin moons are full at the same time. It's been said that the moons are drawn together by ancient magical forces. Those of our ancestors. The Noma Chief is called upon to draw an offering to the moons. It's not a physical offering. Not one you can see. Some can feel it though. If the moons accept, only one rises to its full brightness the next night. If both rise again on the Taigi – the returning moon - another offering must be made until the moons are content. My father, being the chief, will begin and end the ceremony. In between, the children will dance and chant tribal songs. Only during the children's part of this are we – all the others – allowed to join in. You may clap or sing along, or tap a stick on the ground, anything of the sort. But during the time of the chief, we must remain quiet. Does that make sense?"
Jaythen nodded eagerly, excited to be a part of such a dramatic piece of his master's home and people. A rhythmic drumming began to pound. T'narr pointed to a spot across the fire. "Watch there. The ceremony begins."
Chief Ihaani emerged from the darkness in time with the beating of the drums. His body markings had been freshly colored. His dress - a fresh skin of elkon. Atop his head, flowing down his back, a headdress filled with what Jaythen estimated to be thousands of feathers. The colors and sizes exact in their arrangement. It was magnificent and something he knew he'd probably never see again. And certainly not something he'd ever find on the citified world of Coruscant. He watched with large eyes, taking everything in.
The Chief began slowly then bounced into a high kneed skipping gait, all the while chanting in tribal Noma tongue. He had not any idea what the words and sounds meant, but Jaythen felt awed by them nonetheless.
The tempo changed. The drums stopped then started again at a faster and higher pitched pace. The children filed in behind Chief Ihaani. All were dressed in smaller headdresses and new elkon skin. Feet were bare, but decorated with rope beads that wrapped around their ankles and between their first and second toes. They began their song, soon joined by the people around Jaythen and those around the fire. Ihaani moved to the outside of the stones, tossing his head and headdress up and down and prancing in place as his deep voice joined the bright voices of the younger.
Jaythen didn't join in the chant or the drum beats, but he watched as T'narr did, seeing how truly comfortable his master was here. How much he loved his people and his world. For some reason, the boy felt more proud to be this man's apprentice now than ever before. And he could not for the life of him understand how he would ever leave this place to go back to Coruscant and his duty as a Jedi. This place had so much magic and beauty, nothing else could compare. Despite the hatred displayed by several of his master's former enemies, there was nothing not to love about Kembar Lune. He found a part of himself not wanting to ever leave. His mind floated into those thoughts, wondering if it was possible. He could imagine…he could live here…he could give up the complicated world of being a Jedi, that until now had only gifted him with emotional pain…he wondered…
A shout startled him out of his thoughts and he jumped at the sound. His butt lifting inches off the ground he was so surprised. Then he shook himself clear and took a breath. T'narr had noticed, but said nothing as Chief Ihaani was now concluding the ritual. More prancing and tossing his feathers around, before he stopped and howled a final chant. A final call to the twin moons. The gift offered. The ceremony was over.
T'narr leaned towards his padawan again. "You all right? I saw you drifting off there. I think you missed part of the children's song."
The boy nodded. "I think I did to, Master. I didn't mean to. I was thinking. It…it really wasn't that important."
"I find that hard to believe with the zone you were in. You can tell me about it."
Nervous energy filled him again and Jaythen returned to his habit of chewing his bottom lip when he felt those nerves. He didn't really want to share what he had been thinking. But he and his master had come so far. They'd become so close. He didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize that growing relationship. So he told him.
"I was thinking what it would be like to stay here. To live here. How I would feel if I could stay. But that's silly, isn't it?"
"Why is it silly?"
"Because I'm a Jedi. I have a duty to finish my training and be a peacekeeper. It's what I was born for and what I have been destined for since birth."
"No one really knows that. No one really knows what force-sensitive beings are destined for. The Jedi make those decisions for you. They come, they take you, they train you. You become one of them because it's all you know. And for many, it does become their everything. There is nothing for them outside the Jedi. Outside that world. For others, they maintain connections to their home land. To their family. Who really knows what a person was destined for before the Jedi interfered with that future. Maybe you aren't destined to be a Jedi. You have to feel it and accept it. If you don't, you'll never completely find yourself."
"I can't leave the Jedi, Master. I could never…leave you. No matter how much I love this place. How much I think I would love to live here. I need you, Master. You need me too. I have to stay with you. I think that is my destiny."
Again T'narr found himself wiping at a stray tear. The boy was hitting emotions in him that hadn't been touched in years. Or perhaps he wasn't as emotionally strong as he thought himself to be. He did know that Jaythen was right. They did need each other. Their destiny did lie together. The only question was where that destiny would lead them. Certainly he'd given thought to coming home permanently. He was technically next in line to be chief, but had told his father many times in the past that he had no desire to follow that path. Though he confided in his mother that he'd toyed with the idea of leaving the Jedi at one point. Not that the force didn't call to him. Not that he felt no duty for the Jedi. He was dedicated to them and their peacekeeping ways. But often he did long for home. He did long for a quiet life of farming and hunting and horses and beauty. Time and time again though, the force called him back. So he knew Jaythen's feelings, though he was surprised that the boy was feeling them after such a brief time on the planet.
"Jaythen, ultimately, you have to do what you are called to do. I can't make that decision for you. But I agree. I believe our destinies are intertwined. I haven't felt so content in a very long time. And you are the reason. If you ever completely feel that you can no longer serve the Jedi, you tell me. We'll talk. We'll make decisions when - if that happens. For now though, I suspect you still feel that obligation."
The apprentice nodded, but felt better. "Yes, I do. But I'm not upset that I thought about it."
"And you shouldn't be."
"So far, my life with the Jedi has been a very painful one, Master. It's caused me more pain than anyone my age should be allowed. And because of that, I don't have many friends. None really I guess, unless you count Obi-Wan and Taj. But they're so much older than me. I grew up with my age-mates making fun of my pain. And then being rejected and almost released from of the Jedi because I can't control the emotion that comes with it. But I still feel a sense of duty to the Jedi. Why, I don't know. But it's there. Maybe when we get home, things will change. But if they don't, I have a feeling that that sense of duty might fade away. Then…I don't know. I won't know what to do. What I do know is that I won't leave you, Master. I can't leave you."
T'narr put his arm around his student as the dwindling flames reflected into his watery eyes. Jaythen leaned his head onto the big man's shoulder and sighed several tears. And for a few moments, neither said a word.
Finally the master, realizing that he was becoming more a father to the boy than teacher, leaned his head over and placed his chin on Jaythen's black hair. The hair had begun to grow out of its padawan cut during their stay on Kembar Lune and it brought a smile to T'narr's face thinking how much Jaythen was growing in so many ways.
Children laughed and played around them. Jaythen, still lying against his master, grinned as he watched the joy in the actions of the young Nomas. The excitement in the games they played as the fire continued its descent into ashes. A pang of jealousy caught him off guard. They had such a happy childhood. They worked hard, but they were able to enjoy the time of their youth. If there had been heartbreak in any one of them, Jaythen could not sense it. And if it had happened, he was certain that the tribe would gather around with comfort and support. The complete opposite of what he'd felt when his own heartbreak - the death of his closest friend Kele, and then Master Valree - had happened. But he was eight years old now. A large part of his childhood was behind him. Most of it, he wanted only to forget. Only his time with Kele and Master Valree was worth remembering. And right now he missed the crèche master more than anything. She always found time to appreciate and care about him. Again he found himself hurting from her loss.
I miss her, Master.
There was no need for T'narr to ask who the boy meant. He knew all too well. The ache in the young voice, even though that voice was over their bond, was difficult to accept. Just when he thought Jaythen was making progress, he'd slip backwards. And as evidenced by this evening, the trigger to that slip could be anything.
Not knowing what else to do, T'narr sat quietly, his arm still around the slight shoulders. Chin still laying gently on his head.
I know you do, Padawan. I know.
I wish I could stop thinking about her. Not that I want to ever forget her. But it hurts too much. And I don't know what to do about the thoughts. They make me sad. They make me cry, and I need to stop doing that so much.
Right now, you need to do whatever your mind and body allow. It's all part of moving past your traumas. It will get better eventually. With help and time, it will. I promise.
You'll help me, right, Master?
For as long as you need me.
The short mental conversation succeeded in quieting the young man and he pulled away from T'narr to finish watching the last of the children's games. The remaining fire embers were burning down. It was time for the village to return to their homes and rest for the harvesting that would begin the following day. If the twin moons accepted the offering, the crops that were planted months ago, would begin blooming overnight resulting in an extra large harvest of corn, beans and cotton within days. If the offering was not accepted, the crops would continue on their natural progression and it would be another two months before picking could begin. As T'narr explained this to Jaythen, the boy found it almost impossible to believe. But he believed.
They turned in for the night. So exhausted was Jaythen from the day that he couldn't find the energy to wash up before bed. He knew Neela might be upset that he climbed into a clean bed dirty, but he knew she'd probably forgive him too. The thought made him smile as he drifted off. T'narr tossed a second quilt over the small body to fend off any chills that darkness would bring. Twin full moons usually crisped the air with a fresh layer of frosty dew. Jaythen would be chilly.
Eyes fell on T'narr as he lay the second quilt over his padawan. His mother watched in silence from the doorway, proud and smiling. She took her son's hand as he left the bedroom, squeezing it tightly. "He's a good boy, Tana."
"He is."
"I saw you during the ceremony. He was upset about something."
"I think the sounds of the children made him long for those types of memories. He's never had that. Even as a Jedi, he's not had a typical childhood so far. He has no friends his own age. Never has really, aside from his brief friendship with Kele. So it made him think about the teacher he was so fond of, Master Valree. I told you about her. She was everything to him. Thinking about the past means thinking about her, and it's very painful."
"Especially since he's still a young boy."
"Times like tonight make me realize how very young he is. He's questioning his life as a Jedi. He doesn't feel that sense of urgency to serve them as most do by his age."
"Can't blame him, son. From what you've told me, it's been a trying life to this point."
They sat across from each other at the tiny kitchen table. Neela placed a cup of hot tea in front of T'narr, which he accepted gratefully. "It has been. Actually he asked me - well, he didn't really ask me, he sort of implied that he'd like to live here if he ever left the Jedi. He's fallen in love with our planet and its people, Anya."
"Hard not to," she grinned, "and you know we'd have him here without a second thought. But he'd never leave you."
"Did he tell you that?"
"No, but a mother knows. I've seen the change since you've been here. He loves you very much, Tana. He'll stay with the Jedi even if he's not completely sold on his duty, as long as you stay. And I'm sure most of those head healer types on that big city world of yours would say it's an unhealthy relationship for a boy to be so attached to his teacher. But for this particular boy and this particular teacher - this is right." She gave him a quick wink the turned on her best stern motherly face. "Now, about that filthy child of yours crawling into that perfectly clean bed like that…"
The Jedi broke out into laughter and held up his hands in mock protest as they both stood and returned their empty cups to the wash basin. "I know, I know. No need to go there. He knows better, as do I."
"Good. Then I know you won't even think about getting into your bed as you are. I expect a clean T'narr before your head hits that pillow."
"Yes, ma'am."
"How are your injuries then?"
"Still a lot of pain in my chest, but my healing powers are as strong as ever. Fortunately the arrows didn't make their mark a few inches from where they landed. Things are well enough."
Leaning forward, T'narr reached down and wrapped his mother in a warm embrace. She always knew how to make him feel loved when he came home. It made that gnawing side of him that never wanted to leave, surface with increasing intensity with each and every visit. "Nayeli, Anya."
She held him close. Always close, and she returned the words. "I love you too, my son." Backing away, she tapped her hand to her heart twice. "Always, my son. Always."
Before he disappeared into the bedroom, Neela stopped T'narr one last time. "Oh Tana, I've been thinking. I think he's ready. Your boy. He's at the right age."
He knew exactly what she referred to and agreed without hesitation. "I think you're right. And tomorrow would be the day for it."
T'narr gave a quick check on Jaythen after washing up. The boy was sleeping soundly. Tonight would be a peaceful one. Tomorrow would be an important day.
"Master, I stink."
"I agree."
"Neela will be upset with me, won't she?"
"She'll forgive you. This time."
"I should wash up then."
"You do that and then meet me outside in the sitting area. I've got something for you. I'll be there with Pai."
"Yes, Master." Jaythen then dutifully walked to the wash basin and proceeded to scrub. He was quickly becoming proficient at using only one hand for tasks that normally required two. His left hand and arm were still sore and mostly useless, although Me'da had said he may eventually gain partial use of the hand with therapy and surgery. Right now, Jaythen didn't want to think about that. He wondered what his master had waiting for him outside. Eager to know, he got clumsy changing his clothes and tangled himself, unable to get his good arm through the sleeve. After a few minutes of trying, he gave into frustration and stood there with his shirt covering his head. Then gentle hands lifted the shirt off and then back on – correctly. The boy smiled at Neela. "Thank you."
"Remember to take your time, even when you're excited about something. Less chance you'll make a mistake."
"Master T'narr said he has something for me outside. I was in a hurry to find out, so I got tangled up."
"You've been detangled. And you smell much better. Now, get out so I can clean up your mess."
Jaythen could see she was joshing him and grinned broadly before rushing out the door. He skidded to a stop in the sitting area under the shade trees. T'narr and his father sat together. Jaythen was still amazed at how much alike they were in appearance. Hair long and black. Feathers. Intense eyes. Broad and tall. Even some of their body paintings were similar.
The older Jedi patted the top of a small wooden stool in front of his chair. "Sit, Padawan."
Not knowing what was happening, the apprentice suddenly felt a bit nervous, especially with the chief watching his every movement. Ihaani still made him anxious even though he wasn't nearly as gruff as he made himself look to others. He sat with his back facing his master and braced just between the Jedi's knees. Slowly he glanced back and forth between Ihaani and T'narr, turning his head slightly each time his eyes changed direction.
"What do you think, Chief Ihaani," T'narr said stoutly. "Forearm? Neck? Ankle? Shoulder?"
"Forearm. It's traditional for a boy his age. Can't do the neck. See how he can't keep his head still?" Ihaani grunted once and nodded. "Definitely forearm. Might hurt though. No, I take that back. It will hurt. Good for him though. Physical pain makes a boy a man." The broad man smirked as the padawans eyes went huge.
"Um, Master?"
"Yes, Jaythen?"
"I'm not a big fan of physical pain. Can I pass on that option?"
Ihaani, still watching the boy's reaction and then hearing his uncertain plead, laughed out loud at the remark. He slapped his knee and snorted once he laughed so hard.
This left Jaythen more confused than ever, until his master finally let him off the hook. Massaging the tension out of the young shoulders, T'narr gave a small laugh of his own.
"No worries, my Padawan. You know how my pai likes to have a good laugh at the expense of others. Turn around."
Jaythen did, scooting back a foot.
"It's traditional for Noma children to get their first body painting when they are eight years old. It's different for boys than for girls. A first marking for a boy is a feather. The only difference is the color. My first painted feather – here," he turned his right arm over to the underside where a beautifully detailed feather was drawn. The feather was an intense lake-blue. "Blue was my color because I was born right on the water's edge. On the shore of the blue water."
"You mean I get a body painting like yours?"
"You do."
Jaythen smiled so hard his face hurt. Then he realized he wanted blue too, just like his teacher. "Can I get the painting in the same place and the same color?"
"Same place, yes. Not the same color though. The color has to represent what you are. You are not a blue. You are more green than blue. Green represents growth, and you've grown a great deal since we've come here. And it'll match your eyes," he finished with a smirk.
"Green. I like that. But um, how much will it hurt?"
"It's tolerable. Feels…mmm…pinchy."
After a short bout of intense thought, he finally said, "Okay, I'm ready. I think. What do I do?"
"You sit where you are. Pai has the marking needles."
"Needles?"
Ihaani moved one of the large pointy objects in front of the boy's face. "Needles."
Shaking his head, T'narr said "Pai, please. He's nervous enough."
"Ah, can't a chief have any fun anymore? I won't be doing the needling anyway."
T'narr took the longer of the two needles. "Hold out your right arm, Jaythen. Let it rest on your knee. Keep as still as possible."
Jaythen jumped at the first prick of the skin. Ihaani laughed. T'narr frowned at his father.
"Sorry, Padawan. I haven't done this in a while. I'm a little out of practice."
"Master, maybe you should practice first before you stick sharp pointy metal objects into my skin?"
The chief laughed out loud. "The boy has a point, son."
Another frown and T'narr refocused. This time the pinching was only a slight nuisance and the drawing of the feather began. When Jaythen grimaced, T'narr instructed him to talk about whatever came to his mind.
So he rambled. "Doesn't really hurt, Master. Well, maybe a little. Sorta tickles at the same time. Feels weird. I'm glad Master Yoda isn't here. He probably wouldn't approve of this. Ouch. The sky is very blue this morning. Ow! I wonder if the moons accepted the offering of last night. Ssssss, ouch! Why does Neela call you Tana? Seems kinda silly."
"You calling me silly, Padawan?" The Jedi's tone was light.
"No, not…no. It's just a strange name for a Jedi Master. No one calls you that at the temple do they? Ow!"
"I should hope not."
Behind them, Chief Ihaani snickered. Jaythen's gaze drifted his way, but quickly broke eye contact when he saw the big man smirking at him. The pinching feel of the needle brought his attention back to what his teacher was doing on his arm. "Ouch!"
"Sorry, that was my fault."
"So why doesn't anyone call you Tana at the temple, Master?"
Never taking his eyes off the feathery undertaking T'narr responded quietly, "because it's a special name that my mother gave to me. And I feel no need to share it with the entire Jedi temple. You know how some of them talk and gossip."
"I've never heard a Jedi gossip before, Master."
"You will eventually."
"I noticed that only your mother calls you that name."
The man looked up from his task finally, black hair loose and falling around his face. A line of sweat dribbled down his cheek. "If you must know, since you are suddenly so very nosy," he winked to make sure that Jaythen knew he wasn't being overly serious, "the name Tana in our language means beloved. And that's what my mother calls me sometimes."
"Oh, we'll that's not silly at all. OUCH! She called me bala-da the other day. Is that a silly nickname?"
"You brought up this whole silly thing. And no it's not. It's a term of affection."
"She told me that it's similar to padawan."
"Very similar. So there, you have your own silly nickname just like me." He finished the needling with a tap tap tap.
"Master! OW!"
"Done! The outline at least. The coloring comes next. I've already mixed the leaves to get the correct green. This part won't take long."
And it didn't. Jaythen stopped his babbling and watched as the black feather outline became the most gorgeous of emerald greens. It wasn't a large painting, being only about three inches in length, but the intensity of the color made it seem so much grander than the small size.
"It'll take about a day until the colors permanently penetrate the skin, so it'll change a little. But the green will become even richer, if you can believe it."
Jaythen couldn't stop smiling. The emotions rolled through him as he knew that this was the most cherished gift he would ever receive. At this moment, he had no worries. He had no traumatic past. He had no uncertain future, not knowing if he was truly meant to be a Jedi. This simple body marking meant that he was now part of his master's family. A family that loved him. A place where he knew he belonged. And nothing could ever take that away from him.
As his smile continued, naturally a few tears fell. He wouldn't be himself if that didn't happen. T'narr placed his large hands on the boy's face, leaned forward and touched his temple to his own, hearing the padawans thoughts as they were projected. "A part of my family forever, Jaythen, no matter what the future holds for either of us." They held the touch for several moments. Chief Ihaani watched the scene and couldn't help but smile himself. His beloved son had become a beloved father.
"Jaythen, I think we need to be heading home. Master Yoda left a com asking about our status. He's been patient and we've been here longer than anticipated."
The boy stopped the brushing in mid motion. Saber grunted in protest and nudged her master. Clearly not happy. "Saber, go visit with Flash." A sharp whinny of disagreement. The horse insisted on getting her well deserved brushing. Jaythen grinned. "I promise I'll finish up later. Okay?" The mare tossed her head in a 'yes' motion and clomped off towards her paddock-mate. Jaythen turned to his teacher as a clear sadness encompassed his young face. He looked up at T'narr. "We really have to leave, Master?"
"We do. It's difficult to leave this place. Trust me, I've done it enough. But we have duty as Jedi. And you have to begin to settle into regular training at the temple."
"And I have to talk about my…issues with the healers, don't I?"
"You do. But don't fret over that. It'll be a good thing. We'll need to leave tomorrow morning though. If you want to spend the remainder of the day with Saber, you can. I'm sure she won't mind."
Jaythen nodded and let out a breath. He had a better idea. "Master, could we take a ride? I'll really miss Saber. But I think she'll be happier if the four of us spend the day together."
"Hmm, not a bad idea. Finish her rub down first though. I'll let Neela know not to expect us for lunch."
T'narr walked away and Jaythen clicked to Saber. The brown horse trotted over to him and pushed her head into his chest. "One more ride, girl. Then I have to go home. I have to…figure out which way my life will go. I'll be back to visit though. Master T'narr says so. You'll be all right. Maybe a little lonely, but Flash will be with you."
Upon hearing his name, Flash trotted over and nipped his friend in the neck.
"See, I told you. You'll be okay. Just like I will. Master T'narr will look after me. You trust him to do that, don't you girl?"
She lowered her head and set it against the boy's chest, waiting for her ears to be scratched. One last nuzzle with the one that finally gave her a chance to be what she was meant to be. A faithful companion and a loving friend. A few minutes later when she raised her head, she tickled Jaythen's face with her nose – drying the tears that had started.
From a short distance away, the Kresson family witnessed the bonding between human and equine. T'narr never knowing he had it in him to experience such feelings of pride – and happiness.
Ihaani put an arm around his son with a firm squeeze. "You are well on your way to raising a child that will make you prouder than you ever thought you could be." He paused for a moment before adding humbly, "I know the feeling of raising a good boy, even if you did spend far too much time at that temple." He winked, smiled and walked off without another word – time to see to the daily duties of a Tribal Chief.
Neela took his place at the Jedi's side. "He speaks true, Tana. You know how much we love you. How proud we are of you. Now you have your own to raise, to teach. You get to watch him grow and learn. With your help of course. You bring him back though, before he grows too fast."
"I will, Anya. I promise. I know he doesn't want to leave. I can't blame him."
"You know you both are welcomed home here with us should you ever opt for a life other than the Jedi. You both belong here."
Reaching down, he hugged his mother tight. "I know. And you are wonderful to offer. It means so much. For now, Jaythen and I will spend our last day here with the horses and the land. We'll be back in time for supper."
"Good, because I've planned your favorite meal. Be safe. Enjoy the day."
T'narr was content to let Jaythen lead the way with Saber as they rode along. His apprentice had chosen the exact path he would have taken – the firm sand along the shoreline where the tide had recently retreated. The breeze, the view, the fresh air, the sounds of nature. They could feel the planet's magic all around.
Now side by side they found an easy rhythm in the saddles. The horses were content, occasionally nickering to each other as they strolled along. Jaythen's anxiety at returning home was easing some. The relaxed connection he found in his master's mind was settling.
"I think I'll be okay when we get home, Master."
"I think you will. Being a padawan isn't easy. Being a master isn't either. But we can do this thing together."
"Can I rearrange my room?"
"If you'd like. It's yours."
"Neela said I can take the quilt home. And a few other tokens. So I have to rearrange my room to make sure it looks nice."
"She'll be very pleased."
Flash and Saber paused momentarily to watch a tall gray heyron bird fishing in the shallows. Both whinnied with glee when the bird's long beak emerged from the water with a large silvery fish clasped in its grip. A pat on the neck from Jaythen and Saber began moving forward again.
"I wonder what my home world is like. I don't even know the name of where I came from. Maybe it's for the best though."
"We can find that out easily enough, Jaythen. We could visit if you wanted to. That's up to you though."
"I might be disappointed after being here."
"Maybe. Maybe not. You have a lot of decisions ahead of you, Padawan. Some will seem rather simple. Some will challenge your strength and emotions. All of them will make you a better person. Discovering where you came from - each Jedi must decide that on their own. Whatever you decide, I'll support it."
"Thank you, Master."
They rode for another hour before hopping off their mounts and finding a spot in the sand. The horses trotted off a short distance to graze on nearby grass.
"What time do we leave tomorrow?"
"After breakfast. Never fly on an empty stomach. Except when that flying might involve a lot of twisting and turning. We'll get a good night's rest. You'll have time in the pilot's chair on the way home."
Jaythen's face lit up. "Really? You'll let me fly our transport?"
"Sure, why not. It should be a smooth ride. You've got to get experience at some point. Every little bit counts."
"We only had simulator training before. I was good at it though. I didn't crash once."
"That, my Padawan, is always a positive. You were good at most of your studies, weren't you?"
Jaythen blushed slightly, never being one for boasting. T'narr picked up on the thought as the boy let it slip through their telepathic bond.
The older Jedi grinned down at his apprentice. "It's not boasting to know you are good at something. And besides, I'm asking about it, you're not running around the galaxy flaunting your talents. I did know a Jedi who did that by the way. Interesting, but a story for another day. And we've somehow gotten away from the question."
"Yes, Master," Jaythen said flatly. "I didn't have much problem with my studies. I was always near the top of my class."
"Be proud of that, Jaythen. It's quite an accomplishment and should bode well for you once we get approved for off-planet missions."
"But we won't get assigned missions until I work through some of my problems, right?" He was worried. Worried that his emotional weaknesses would get his teacher hurt or killed. But he was also nervous about the therapy that would help him learn to deal with those weaknesses.
T'narr knew that but refused to believe that the boy wouldn't eventually be cleared for normal Jedi duty that would be dangerous at times. Even potentially deadly. He tried to be reassuring. "Right. We'll be working with the healers on those issues, but at the same time, we'll be training to learn how to deal with those more dangerous situations. Don't worry. It'll work out."
"I trust you, Master."
Reaching over to ruffle the growing black hair, T'narr said, "We'll do okay together. But the first thing we do when we get home is to get you a haircut. The last thing I'll need is Yoda on my case about the appearance of my apprentice. I'll get some long winded backwards story about how he never had long hair when he was young."
Snickering, Jaythen tried to picture that in his head. A young Master Yoda with long dark hair. It was too much. "Master, that's a silly image. I don't think Master Yoda ever had hair. Just those little squiggly gray things on the top of his head."
The big Jedi laughed out loud as he stood and wiped the sand off his backside. "You make me laugh, Padawan. I need to be careful when I come across Yoda next time. I might not be able to keep a straight face. Come on. Let's finish our ride before supper."
After a long, relaxing day in the saddle, both Jedi were tired and hungry. But it felt good to end their trip to Kembar Lune on such a note. Their bond, so uncertain when they arrived here, had now become something that T'narr could never have imagined. He'd found a piece to the puzzle of his life that he never knew was missing until Jaythen happened. Their future was uncertain, but he knew he would never again feel that pang of loneliness that he'd unknowingly been plagued with for so long. He'd always though his mission in life was to be the best Jedi he could and to be a peacekeeper to those who needed him. A second mission had now become his. That of being a teacher, mentor and father to a small boy that so desperately needed someone to love him. T'narr Kresson thought that he was truly and completely happy for the first time in his life.
There was however, a feeling of sadness hanging over the Kresson family as they gathered for supper. Neela and Ihaani unsure how long it would be until their only living son came home again. Though they felt more at ease at his leaving this time, simply because he now had Jaythen. They'd seen enough of the boy and enough of their bond to know that their son was as content as he'd ever been.
The table was beautifully set with wild flowers decorating several carved stone vases. The flowers matched the ones that Neela had weaved into her long black hair. The sign of a special occasion. Places were set. The food steamed from the center of the table. She welcomed the men of her life to supper. "Everyone has a favorite. A meal to wish you good journey and safe return to Coruscant. And asking you not to be a stranger, Tana. I want to see this boy again before he's twenty." T'narr smiled. Jaythen laughed. Ihaani rolled his eyes. And they ate.
The best food and the best company T'narr could ever ask for.
When the meal was done, they wandered down to the lake to watch the sunset over the mountains. Jaythen could only marvel at the splendor He gazed at the distance long after the last rays had darkened and disappeared, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Come, Padawan. Time to turn in. We'll return here. I promise."
Jaythen nodded obediently. "Yes, Master."
Morning. Breakfast in their bellies, the Jedi were packed and ready to depart for their transport. Jaythen ran outside for one last goodbye to his horse, Saber. The brown mare jogged over and nuzzled the treat from his hand. "You be a good girl. Take care of Flash, okay?" She tossed her head as Jaythen kissed her nose. "I love you, Saber. I'll miss you." Raising her head, she pressed her nose against her master's forehead and blew out a breath. Jaythen pulled away laughing as he wiped the horse slobber from his face. "That was disgusting. But funny. Bye girl! Be good!" Saber whinnied and stomped her front hooves. Flash joined the dance as the boy hurried back to the house where T'narr was having his own goodbyes.
Snug in his mother's embrace, he held tight, hating to let go. "It won't be as long between visits, if I can help it, Anya. I want Jaythen to experience this place while he's at this age of wonder." Holding her away, he took her face between his hands and kissed her forehead. "I love you. Thank you for everything." They both wiped tears from their now bloodshot eyes.
"Be safe, Tana. Keep that boy safe too. He loves you and needs you. He's always welcomed here, no matter what the situation. I love you, son." Neela turned from T'narr to the small form in the doorway. "And you, come here." Jaythen about launched himself into her waiting arms and gave her the biggest one-armed hug he could manage. "My bala-da. Always. You look after my Tana now, all right?"
"I promise, Neela. Thank you for letting me come here and stay. It's so beautiful. You're lucky to live here."
The hug released, Neela pushed away his tears with her thumbs. "All this crying, you'd think we were never going to see each other again. You boys better go before I really get upset." Her smile was there, but strained and sad. The Jedi, bags in hand, waved her a last goodbye and left the house.
Ihaani waited with a horse wagon to drive them to their transport ship. Jaythen was grateful, as he was leaving with more stuff than he came with. Neela had packed him full of goodies, including one of her specialties – the softest hand-made quilt in the galaxy. He hurried the bags into the ship to give his master time with his father. He didn't want to intrude on their goodbye, but he watched from short distance away. The two embraced fiercely, neither wanting to let go. Eventually they did. Words were exchanged and then Chief Ihaani of the Noma people pointed to Jaythen and waved him over.
Puffing himself up, he began, "You boy, this is all…oh forget it." He depuffed and Jaythen giggled. "You know I can't act like that around you anymore." Jaythen felt his large hand weigh on his shoulder. "I can't look after my son when he's off parading around the galaxy. So I leave that job to you. Think you can handle it?"
"Yes sir!"
"Good. I'm holding you to that. You be good now and I'll see you next time around." He crushed Jaythen in a hug. T'narr was pleased to see how easily Jaythen had taken to his parents and turn about. The boy was meant to be part of this three piece Kresson family. It was where he belonged.
"Good harvest in the upcoming season, Pai. I see the moons were pleased." T'narr was saying as Jaythen broke away from the bigger man. "We'll return when we can."
A final wave goodbye. The master jedi put his arm around the shoulder of the padawan and they hurried up the ramp together.
Jaythen sat in the co-pilot's seat watching his master's father standing in the field of lush green watching them take flight. He waved again, but didn't think Ihaani could see him.
They flew low to get a final look at Kembar Lune before blasting away leaving, incomparable beauty behind them. The young learner's thoughts turned to Coruscant and what awaited them. More specifically, what awaited him. Healers. Questions. Therapy. Tears. People in his head, forcing him to relive one painful memory after another. He felt sick to his stomach and T'narr felt the change in the mood flooding the cockpit. He sent warm thoughts across their bond hoping to lessen the anxiety.
"I'll be with you, Jaythen. And they won't push hard. This isn't a test. This isn't a game to see how fast you can move beyond the past. If it somehow turns into that, I will be sure that it goes no further. But Risha seems like a good person. I've heard all positive things about her. It'll be hard and emotional, but the toughest things in life always make us stronger. And we have each other now. We didn't have much of that when we left for Kembar Lune. So many things changed for the better. We each found where we belong."
The apprentice had pulled his knees into the chair and to his chest, his right arm hugging them tightly and chin resting on top. His eyes held the most intense mix of emotions one could muster. Joy mixing with fear. Relief mixing with anxiety. Worry mixing with happiness. He listened carefully to his master's words. Hearing each one. Understanding how much his life had changed in six weeks time. Understanding how important this man next to him was. How much he loved him. How much he looked forward to being raised by T'narr Kresson who would be his mentor, teacher and father. He certainly had found where he belonged.
"I belong with you, Master. I have no doubt in my heart. None."
Smiling, T'narr leaned over and gave the boy a quick hug. "To Coruscant then."
"Home."
Though T'narr heard the word, he wasn't convinced that Jaythen felt that Coruscant was home. Not anymore. For now though, it was their destination. What the future would hold, he didn't know. The future was brighter than it had ever been for the Jedi Master. The loneliness was gone.
Glancing again at Jaythen, he patted him on the back. "Come on then, my Padawan. Time for your first official real world flying lesson. Sit here. Pilot's seat."
Worries put aside, the boy bounced out of the chair, grinning ear to ear. His senses keen to every detail that T'narr was walking him through. He missed nothing.
"Think you're ready to go off auto-pilot?"
"Yes, Master! But don't leave me, okay?"
T'narr laughed gently. "Never, Padawan. Never." He pointed to the green button to the right. "Press that two times and you'll be flying."
The ear to ear grin of silly happiness didn't worry T'narr. He knew Jaythen had taken in every bit of information that he'd given him in the last twenty minutes. Their ride home would be smooth. It would be the after that would jar them and test them.
Thoughts for another time, T'narr said to himself as he sat back. One eye on the future, one eye on the present. His padawan. His student. His son. The one that had changed his life in ways he never knew possible.
They both had found what they needed in each other. They'd found where they belonged.
END
