INT. AIRPLANE HANGAR - DAY

A living airplane named JEDJED excitedly rocks from side to
side on his wheels.

JEDJED
Oh boy, I can't wait for my first
test flight ever!

A lab-coated man, DR. WILLARDS, wheels a cart with strange
electronics on it up to JedJed.

DR. WILLARDS
Good morning, JedJed. Ready for
your big day?

JEDJED
I sure am!

Dr. Willards picks up a two-foot-long metal spike with a
blinking black box on its head and loads it into a speargun.

DR. WILLARDS
Great. I just need to install your
particalitional transportationer.

JEDJED
Transportational what?

Dr. Willards aims the speargun at JedJed's face.

DR. WILLARDS
Hold still.

JEDJED
Hey, what are you -

Dr. Willards fires the speargun. The spike slams into
JedJed's forehead. JedJed staggers back, his eyes rolling up.

JEDJED
(groggily)
Ugh, what's this thing for?

DR. WILLARDS
It will transport you to Hawaii in
a nanosecond.

JedJed shakes off the effect of the impact.

JEDJED
Really? That's neat! How's it work?

DR. WILLARDS
It's controlled by thought power.
That's why it's jammed into your
skull.

JEDJED
Cool!

JedJed closes his eyes.

JEDJED
Take me to Hawaii!

DR. WILLARDS
No, wait!

JedJed disappears in a flash of light.

DR. WILLARDS
Damn it.

Dr. Willards turns back to the cart and unhooks the mic from
a high-tech two-way radio.

EXT. PURPLE MIST

JedJed flashes in, floating in empty space.

JEDJED
Yay, it worked!

DR. WILLARDS (OVER RADIO)
JedJed! You're supposed to be in
the air when you transport! That's
how you train for invading enemy
territory!

JEDJED
Dr. Willards, Hawaii is weird.
Wait, what enemy territory?

DR. WILLARDS (OVER RADIO)
Never mind. What's weird about it?

JEDJED
It's hazy and there's no ground.

DR. WILLARDS (OVER RADIO)
Oh, sometimes the device
malfunctions and sends you to the
Dark Realm.

JedJed notices the outline of a massive serpentine creature
moving in the far distance. It turns to look at JedJed with
glowing red eyes and emits a deep, guttural growl that
vibrates through the atmosphere.

JEDJED
So this isn't Hawaii?

INT. AIRPLANE HANGAR - DAY

DR. WILLARDS
(into mic)
You'll get there. Just think about
palm trees or whatever.

The hangar door flies open and a SWAT TEAM pours in with
weapons drawn.

SWAT COMMANDER
Dr. Willards! You are under arrest
for illegal experimentation on
anthropomorphic aircraft!

DR. WILLARDS
Ah shit.

EXT. PURPLE MIST

The creature lets out a nightmarish roar and shoots toward
JedJed, who closes his eyes.

JEDJED
Palm trees, palm trees...

The creature's gigantic eel-like face becomes visible as it
rapidly approaches, its cavernous maw opening to reveal huge
pointed teeth.

JEDJED
...palm trees, palm trees...

JedJed flashes away just before the creature's jaws slam shut
on him.

INT. LIQUOR STORE - DAY

JedJed materializes between two narrow aisles, knocking
shelves over and smashing bottles. A large cardboard palm
tree standee for Malibu Rum topples onto his face, which he
shakes off.

JEDJED
It finally worked!

A crowd of customers, all wearing Iowa Hawkeyes shirts,
scream and flee.

JEDJED
Aloha!

THE END