A very good morning to you guys^^
Here for a good start into the new week! Things have been rough, but I remastered my schedule, so here I am, more in time than ever before, posting now and then heading off to studying, feeling like I got my shit together, so I wish for everybody out there to feel the same way (because we all damn well know that neither Zoro nor Mihawk do ;-P)
See you all friday and thank you for your kind words^^
Chapter 31 - Will
-Mihawk-
"Why are we doing this again?"
He rolled his eyes.
"I already explained it several times, ghost girl. A visitor will come by tomorrow, so this room has to look presentable."
She snorted and rubbed the dust off her face.
"Yes, I got that part, but why do I have to help you? This is so exhausting; can't you just have your meeting in the fireplace room or the library?"
"Do you want to do the rest on your own?" He replied.
Swiftly she shook her head and continued to free the heavy curtains from dust and spider webs. She was not entirely wrong. There was absolutely no reasonable reason speaking against holding his appointment in one of the other more frequently used rooms, not a single one, except that he wanted it that way.
"When you are done, bring another chair from the kitchen," he ordered as he freed the veiled paintings and sculptures from their dusty sheets.
"What? Why one from the kitchen?"
"Because I say so."
They had been cleaning for almost two hours and slowly the hall looked as magnificent as it probably had in its better times.
"It has to be someone pretty important if you're making such a fuss."
He did not answer but considered his work. Admittedly, the ghost girl had been a great help to him; she was really nimble when it came to cleaning. Satisfied, he walked up the three steps at the end of the hall and settled on the only piece of furniture present, a chair more like a throne than an armchair.
He had waited a long time for this day, just for that day he had settled in this castle.
Perona came back with swaying pink hair and a chair and stopped in the door frame. He could see her impressed expression before she quickly looked away and closed the door behind her again.
He liked the door of this room. It was a double-sided sliding door, the two sides were connected by a special mechanism and would always open and close at the same time, thus providing an impressive picture for a newcomer.
"Where do you want the chair?" She asked him shyly, and he noted her with a wave of his hand to place it right in front of him, right in front of the three steps.
"Isn't that a bit too dramatic?" She muttered, looking up at him. "Should I get you crown or something else? Maybe a tiara?"
Immediately, she trembled under his gaze.
"I am the lord of this island; I should present myself accordingly. But I do not expect you to understand that, ghost girl."
He got up and walked past her.
"No, I don't," she agreed. "Why are you doing this?"
Now he looked at her grinning.
"Because I want to." His grin grew over her perplexed facial expression. "And because I can." Then he went on: "I am my own master; I can do whatever I want. If I wanted, I could destroy this island here and no one could hold me accountable."
He could hear her clattering heels following him.
"Sounds priggish to me," she muttered softly, "besides, you're Shichibukai, aren't you? Doesn't that make you a serf of the World Government?"
Oh, he should not have been that nice to her during the last morning.
"Watch your pertly mouth if you want to keep it," he threatened.
"No, no, I just thought..." She fell silent for a second before continuing to speak: "Do you really think you're still free?"
He stopped and looked at her, but she kneaded her hands in her dusty apron.
"I mean, how can you be your own master if you belong to someone else? Aren't all your decisions tied to what..."
"What nonsense!"
Frightened, she stared up at him.
"Listen, I will tell you that only once." He could see her fear grow. "As long as you have your own will, you are always free."
Her eyes have become big.
"It may be that you are a slave - a serf - but each of us is born with our own will, and as long as you do not give that up, you belong to yourself only and to no one else."
Her fists trembled.
"Even though I am chained to the World Government, they will never be able to control me. What about you? Do you have your own will or are you blindly guided by stranger's will? Because only then have you given up yourself." With those words he left her behind.
His own will, so often he had altered it, suppressed, ignored.
But that had been because there had been actually only a few things in life that he had really ever wanted, and most of the time he had simply taken it without hesitation.
He knew it was not as easy as he had just said Perona. But he admitted with a smile, it might have been what Roronoa might have said, right?
He was tense. Like a novice before the first duel.
"Hey, Dracule."
Sighing, he rolled his eyes. She was the last person he wanted to see right now.
"What? Can't you see that I am busy right now?" He grumbled, dropping the newspaper.
The ghost girl on the other side of the paper dodged his gaze with a fire-red head.
"Can I ask you something?"
He should never have listened to Roronoa. Why had he not thrown her out months ago? She was annoying and for the last few days she was getting worse and worse. When he did not respond, she began to knead her folded hands and eventually settled on the sofa on which his little frog used to sleep. Then she looked at him with an innocent curiosity.
"How do I find out what I want?"
The newspaper almost slipped out of his hand about such a pathetic question.
"What do you mean by that?" He asked, disinterestedly. "You will at least know what you want?"
Of course, he remembered their conversation from the early morning, but he had not expected she would raise the issue again. She still did not look at him, but only kneaded her hands in her lap. But Mihawk did not enjoy that conversation either way, so he picked up the newspaper and kept reading.
"I have thought carefully about your words, about everything you have told me so far, and you are right. If I really wanted to go back to Master Moria, I would probably have left a long time ago to look for him. But the thing is..." She hesitated. "Actually, I don't know what I want."
He took a deep breath; he could really do without this conversation, especially right now.
"That is a ridiculous excuse," he murmured, folding the newspaper.
"It's not!" She jumped up.
"My whole life..." She swallowed heavily and Mihawk feared that she would start crying. "My whole life I couldn't decide for myself. Until Master Moria took me in, I didn't have the luxury of thinking about what I liked; I did everything I could to survive somehow."
He did not respond.
"Even with Master Moria, I did as I was told. I was so glad to have found a home that I would have done everything I could to not be alone again. Because everyone is afraid of that, right? To be excluded, to be rejected, to be left alone."
Inexpressive, he looked down at her as silent tears ran down her face.
"But now I'm here and even though you're a heartless monster and Zoro an mean ruffian, I'm still happy to be here. You treat me unkind and nitpick about my cooking, but nevertheless you let me cook what I want, order everything I write on the shopping list, even if it's just my own sweet stuff and otherwise I can do what I want as long as I don't bother you. Zoro isn't much better, he's always grumbling like a sleepy bear, but I can always ask him for help and he's actually much nicer than he acts. He also lets me try new hairstyles as Loreen and this Kanan always sends great dresses. "
She tried in vain to wipe away her tears.
"Since I've been here, I've had to work because otherwise you'll throw me out, but it's still very funny to watch you and Zoro play chess and mock each other. Also, it makes so much fun to dress Zoro up and that you always..."
"What is your point, ghost girl?"
Her story did not interest him.
She clenched her fists and looked at him directly. The first time she answered his gaze.
"You are the first person to ask me what I want. I never thought about it before. I thought that Master Moria is the only person I can return to, but now..." She shook her head. "Now I don't know. Because I like to be here, despite your and Zoro's bad mood. Therefore..."
Her lip trembled.
"Therefore, if I really can do what I want, if I can really have my own will and act on it, then... then..." Suddenly, she bowed deeply. "May I please stay here with you and Zoro?"
He still said nothing.
"Please! Can I stay?!" She screamed. "I want to stay here on Kuraigana."
Shaking his head, he got up and threw the newspaper at a small side table. She did not move as he walked past her and walked to the door. There he stopped.
"Dracule?!" She yelled gasping, obvious despair in her voice. She was still standing there deeply bowing.
"I do not know what you want from me," he replied coolly, "you already do know what you want and your will does not depend on my decision, right? After all, you are a free person."
He opened the door and left the room.
"Thank you very much!"
Smiling, he closed the door. He had become far too soft, first Roronoa cracked his wall and now she appealed to his good-naturedness.
"Tze."
-Zoro-
Boredom!
By the late morning, they had arrived on some island whose name Zoro had already forgotten. He had spent the whole day with Eizen and Rihaku in a sultry room and had been preparing for tomorrow's meeting.
But now he was lying on a huge bed in an even bigger room and was supposed to read through several reports, but if he was honest, he didn't want to at all.
He looked disheartened at the small, white transponder snail in his hand. Of course, he could call the Shichibukai now, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea at all.
But no, after all, the other one had not even stood up yesterday to say goodbye. Moreover, Zoro still did not know what the real problem was, about which he should decide.
Yes, he got the part with the fear, partly at least. Understood what the other meant, but the thing was simply that he didn't feel like he was holding back. Of course, his Haki had lasted much longer than before, but simply because that had been the whole sense behind Zoro learning to regulate his Haki flow and after hours of hard training it was understandable when his punches grew weaker.
He sighed deeply, left the bed, and stored the snail between his belongings again. He only had a few days to find out what Mihawk had meant, otherwise they wouldn't continue training and they had to. After all, the six months were almost over and that was the time Zoro had given himself to survive in the New World. Just because he could stay on Kuraigana much longer did not change his determination. How could he face his fears when he didn't even feel like he was running away from them?
He began to brush his annoying hair. An activity out of pure boredom, which he had probably copied from Perona, even if he would never admit it.
Well, what was the worst thing that could happen if he lost control again?
That he injured Perona and Mihawk, logically. But no, the Shichibukai was clearly superior to him, and even if Mihawk could not really stand Perona, he would not allow Zoro to kill her if he would lose it again.
Quietly grumbling under his breath, he put the brush aside and braided his hair.
That he would be immobile again after that?
Well, that wasn't nice, of course, but he had already taken worse blows to get stronger. Moreover, transforming into its true form was much more painful. Even now, after training it for months, it always left him a little breathless to turn into Zoro, not that he let that stop him.
But what else could it be? That he died while trying?
No, he wasn't afraid of death, certainly not now.
So, what the hell should stop him from giving everything in training?
"Sorry." A loud knock came from the room door and a young soldier came in. She had her eyes pinned on a large scroll from which she began to read: "Honorable Lady Loreen, my name is Yaone and in the name of the entire Marine and in the name of the Lord..."
Damn it!
Zoro didn't listen to her at all. He knew her. Damn it! He knew this woman!
He recalled her long, blood-red hair, which was now cut off at chin-length, the slightly too tight Marine uniform, which she had now replaced with a better-fitting one.
Oh, by the way, I'm Yaone. What's your name?
He remembered her never-ending babbling and what he had done. She was the G-6 soldier who had unknowingly helped him. The soldier he had left to die during the break-out.
But that alone was not the reason why he felt hot and cold at the same time.
The soldier was still concentrating on her text, her right hand wrapped in bandages: "... I wish you a pleasant stay and if you have any further questions, the soldiers of the headquarters and the staff are at your disposal."
Click
"What…?"
Surprised, the young woman looked up and turned to Zoro, who had scurried past her and had just closed and locked the room door, Josei in one her eyes open, she stared at him and dropped the parchment roll.
"But... but what the hell..."
The next moment she reached for her sword, but Zoro was one flowing movement, he ripped off her belt with Josei and hurled it over to him. Without barely having to move, he caught her sword, still blocking the door.
"I would not do that," he advised, disapprovingly.
What a bad timing.
She still looked at him as if she were seeing a ghost. She shook her head slightly and looked for help from left to right, but without leaving him out of sight.
"Okay, listen to me," Zoro grumbled, trying to calm her down, "we can sort this out here now in peace without anyone being hurt, okay?"
Now she looked directly at him again, even though her gaze briefly darted to her sword.
"What the hell are you?" She whispered, pulling a small dagger out of her sleeve. Not that it would pose a threat to Zoro; even as Loreen, he was miles ahead of , her question confused him a little.
"Well, the same as you," he said coolly, "a reborn."
"What?!" She shook her head but seemed to keep herself under control. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Lady Loreen. But I demand you to give back my sword and to retreat from the door."
"Unfortunately, I can't do that," he disagreed with a wry grin.
"Excuse me?"
It was surprising to Zoro that she apparently had no idea what he was talking about, after all he could see her shadow. The blurring and manifesting shadowed revealed Zoro that this woman, like himself, had once died and then decided to continue her old life in a new body.
But just as he could see her shadow, she had to see his, had to recognize his true figure, and so he ran the risk of revealing his greatest , on an island of the World Government swarming with Marines, for once without Hawk he didn't think of anything soon, he would really be in a state of trouble.
"What are you?" The soldier asked him again. "A shapeshifter?"
"You have no idea what's going on here, do you?" He muttered, casually wondering why everyone was always thinking of shapeshifters. There were no such fairy tales. Well, maybe it was more likely than to rise from the dead.
She went into combat position and looked at him seriously.
"Obviously, I have just revealed a secret of World Government. Roronoa Zoro never died but was given a new body."
"Um... that's not what this is about."
She was apparently misunderstanding something.
But why was she even thinking that he had something to do with the World Government... oh yes, Lady Loreen, Eizen, if he was honest, it seemed perhaps understandable; at least it was probably more realistic than the truth.
"I don't care!" She growled. "If you are really Roronoa Zoro, then I have no choice but to arrest you so that you can be judged for your terrible deeds."
"You take the whole thing here quite calmly," Zoro said approvingly. "You really think I'm Roronoa Zoro?"
"Well," she muttered with a mocking grin, "I do doubt my sanity a little bit. Lady Loreen and Roronoa Zoro are supposed to be the same person? Tze, I rather think that this is a bad dream."
For a second, Zoro took the time to weigh up the probability, but then he shook his head.
"Listen, Yaone - that was your name, wasn't it? - I don't have time for any problems, understood? So, if you want to, I'll tell you what's going on. But if you plan on walking out of this door and start some gossip, yeah, I think then I've got to stop you."
He didn't like it at could he actually stop her, without actually killing her?
A nasty voice in his mind told him that he had tried this before and that it wouldn't make much difference, but somehow things were different now, what was at stake was different now. He could also do without killing some girl.
"No words in the world can change what has happened," she replied unforgivingly, "and nothing in the world could atone for Roronoa Zoro's guilt."
Did she still think she was sleeping?
"You're right," Zoro agreed. "There is nothing to justify these acts. Nevertheless..." He pointed his sword at her. "I can't just let you go like that."
She took less than two seconds for her to land on her butt, her dagger in his free hand.
"Uff," she muttered, and suddenly looked at him unsettled, „so it's not a dream?"
Zoro sighed heavily and shook his head.
"But that's impossible," she muttered, pointing at him with her index finger outstretched. "That means... you're still alive!"
"You got it now?"
"But then... then I have to... "
"Save it and just listen to me for a moment."He squatted in front of her on the floor, still between her and the door."So you really have no idea that you are a reborn?"
She looked at him in doubt.
"What? What are you talking about?"
For a moment he scratched his neck and tried to find a solution.
"Have you ever been to the G-2 and met Comil?"
Again she shook her head and Zoro realized that it was probably his job to explain everything to her if he wanted to prevent her from betraying rose again and leaned against the door.
"Okay, then I'm probably the unlucky fellow who has to teach you the rules. You probably won't believe me, but it's important that you understand the following..." And then he began to explain to her everything he knew, well, almost told her about the reborn, who - as the name suggested - were reborn in a foreign body after a mostly violent told her about his own fate, and he told her about Comil, the commander of the G-2, who was also a reborn and had gathered a crowd of like-minded people around him. He even had helped Zoro at the Marine ball, where Zoro himself had found out that Comil's real name was Jade, a far-sighted lady who had seen a lot in her life.
In the beginning, the young woman had listened to him obviously suspiciously and confused. Her face had told Zoro that she had tried to come up with an escape plan, but at some point she had given him her full attention.
He just described to her what her shadow looked like."... and I have no idea why you don't remember your old life, but obviously you belong to us," he concluded his minute-long explanation.
She remained silent for an eternity, and Zoro pondered what to do with her. The reborn's code of honor stated that they had to help and not betray each other. But how could he impose these rules on her?
"Why are you telling me all this?" She finally muttered, even though he had already told her about the code. "After all, now I know everything."
"So?" He said coolly, leaning against the door. "Let's be honest. Who would believe you? You have no evidence. The Marines believe I'm dead and Jade will certainly not agree with you, because then she would have to explain where she knows it from and that would endanger all other reborns."
She looked at him seriously as he continued: "We help each other, because none of us knew what happened at first. Because you don't remember your old life, you might be different from me, but I'm sure Comil can help you too."
She looked up in he was relieved how easy it was for her to take it all in, somehow he also distrusted the whole thing.
"So, what are you going to do?" He asked her directly.
Surprised, she opened her mouth without saying anything before finally rising.
"I don't know," she confessed, "it's all crazy, and yet I see it with my own eyes. If you're the monster Roronoa Zoro, I'll have to arrest you, but who would believe me."
She folded her arms.
"I could kill you, but then the whole world would think that I killed Lady Loreen, and even if I would be willing to make this sacrifice, even drawing Hawk Eyes' wrath willingly on me, I could also be wrong and responsible for the suffering of innocent people."
She wouldn't, but Zoro didn't need to spell that out for her.
"Will you kill me?" She asked him. "Just like you tried back then?"
"I'd like to avoid it," he replied honestly, "even if I can't excuse what I did, I had to do it to save my crew, and I'd do it again today if I could protect them."
She exhaled heavily and her face distorted with hatred.
"However, the situation here is quite different. There's no one I'd have to protect here, besides - and you probably don't believe me now - but I'm not killing for fun. So I'd like to take a different path."
"Yes, good idea," she grumbled disparagingly, "turn yourself in. Then all problems would be solved."
Zoro scratched the back of his head and destroyed his carefully braided hairstyle.
"Or not. So, quite apart from the fact that I have better things to do than to be executed by the World Government, it would come out so sooner or later that Lady Loreen and Roronoa Zoro are one and the same person, and that in turn would put the other reborns - like you - in danger."
Dissatisfied, she bit her lip.
"So," she asked him, "what are we doing now?"
