Hey everybody,
soooo it's been a really long week, so all I'm doing is post this here real quick and then I'm off to bed, because I'm freaking tired!
Thank you for your comments and have a great weekend ;-)
See you monday^^
Chapter 38 - Control
-Mihawk-
"Geez, you are still here. Don't you want to go to bed at some point?"
He looked up from the loose pages in his lap when the Vice Admiral came in, no longer in his uniform, but apparently in clothes that he had borrowed from Mihawk's closet. His wet curls swung wildly up and down.
"Do you actually plan on sitting here until she... I mean he wakes up? My God, this is confusing."
"You will get used to it and yes, as you know, I am a man of habit and it has become a habit for me to wait until Roronoa wakes up."
Mihawk could see the other slightly pinching his eyes and looking at him seriously.
"When have you changed that much? And I haven't even noticed."
Jiroushin pulled a chair over to him.
"That is not true, you have noticed. But you decided that Lady Loreen would be explanation enough and when you noticed something could not be right you shut down contact with me."
Grumbling something approving under his breath, the other dropped on his chair next to him.
"What are you reading? Notes about your training?"
"Not really."
With a smile, he put the pages back together in the right order and stowed them in the small bedside table, trying to make it look as if he had never touched them. Roronoa did not like him reading them before he was finished.
"You should lie down a little bit, Jirou. It was certainly a busy day for you."
"Later, first I want you to tell me all you've kept from me over the last few months."
Seriously they looked at each other and he noticed that Jiroushin was standing up to him this time; he was really serious.
"Why should I do this?"
Now the other grinned and a mischievous sparkle lit his eyes.
"What do you want? I join your charade, but for that I want to be initiated into everything. How can I help you in the best way possible if I do not know what I need to know? What do I do next time he faces me as Loreen and Eizen comes around the corner? Damn it, does Eizen actually know? Why is this pirate infiltrating the World Government? Mihawk, what the hell...?"
"Calm down, Jiroushin. Believe me, Roronoa and I could do very well without Eizen. In fact, his constant meddling is a thorn in my side."
But he did what the other asked of him and began to speak about the very beginning, when he had found an abandoned girl in the forest of Sasaki, who hours later had turned out to be Roronoa Zoro. He left out only a few things or altered them slightly. Jiroushin did not need to know every little fact, not every delicate detail or emotional moment.
He was surprised by how long it took him to sum up the last few months, and when he finally finished, he realized how dry his mouth was. Annoyed, he leaned back against his chair. This was all so bothersome. Jiroushin next to him had his arms folded and observed the sleeping pirate for some time.
"I still can't believe it. You let me run right into this trap. I trusted Loreen, because of you I trusted Roronoa Zoro! I trained him, talked to him about things that he shouldn't know. I danced with him on the ball and... and gave you my blessing."
"And now you know why I reacted so negatively." Mihawk decided to ignore the rest of the charge. "Not even talking about Roronoa's reaction. He hated it when Kanan wanted to educate his female side. He says he does not understand why women should have different standards than men. It is very amusing to watch him rant about it."
The other remained silent for a moment before he finally sighed deeply.
"Oh, this sucks."
"What exactly, my dear friend?" Mihawk leaned back with his arms folded.
"Well, if I consider what you've had to deal with for the last few months, I can't help but be impressed."
"Are you finally admitting it now?"
"I haven't denied anything. Geez, you're so exhausting."
Synchronously, they rubbed their faces and stared slightly annoyed at each other.
"What is your plan concerning your father now? Will you go?"
Mihawk shrugged his shoulders.
"Rather not. I would probably be on the road for a little more than two weeks, even with my ship, and letting Roronoa train unattended for that long makes me feel uncomfortable. But I do not like the alternative of taking him with me and risking him running into Nataku, who seems to have an unhealthy interest in him – that is, of course, Lady Loreen."
His childhood friend raised an eyebrow.
"To me, this sounds like some lazy excuse. As if it would kill him to train for two weeks without you."
"You know Roronoa's story, Jiroushin, such a result would not be unlikely. He also gets easily upset about every single day we do not use for training, and if I have to choose between him and my father, the decision has long since been made."
Now the other shook his head.
"You're pretty harsh."
"Nonsense, I just like to avoid wasting my time and as frustrating as training with Roronoa can be, it cannot keep up with the frustration I would have to endure traveling for seven useless days, only for half an hour at my father's bedside and then traveling back for another seven days. I prefer to train Roronoa and to make sure that he does not accidentally kill himself."
"I could take care of him for two weeks."
Confused, Mihawk tilted his head as the other murmured this proposal almost inaudibly and looked at Roronoa as if they were talking about some untrained puppy.
"What are you talking about, Jiroushin? Just an hour ago you wanted to turn him in at the first opportunity. Besides, you have a pregnant woman at home; Lirin will be anything but thrilled when you stay away for so long."
"Oh, in terms of that..." Apparently embarrassed, the other slowly rubbed his neck, without looking up. "... So, to be honest, it was her idea that I would visit you."
Now he looked over to Mihawk, who did not even need to ask to get his answer. The other sighed heavily.
"She says I'm stressing her, and I can't even blame her. You know what happened, what she had to go through and at her age, pregnancies are even riskier, so I just want to..."
"So you have mutated into an over-concerned dragon father."
"How nicely you put it," the other grumbled, but nodded. "She says my loving care would crush her, so she sent me away. A few weeks of vacation, she said."
"And she sends you to me? And you do not even take clothes with you?"
The other rose and shrugged.
"Maybe she kicked me out because I annoyed her too much and because I had already submitted my pregnancy leave..."
"Why that? You are not the one who carries the child? Why should you take days off from work?"
Jiroushin looked at him from pinched eyes.
"You are just as mean as Lirin."
Now Mihawk could not prevent a quiet smile.
"You are too caring, Jirou. Lirin's parents have a whole court of doctors and there will be someone there for them day and night, so you do not have to monitor them like a ticking time bomb."
"Keep talking. What about Roronoa Zoro?"
Mihawk folded his arms.
"That is different. Lirin is a smart, mindful woman and Roronoa a selfish fool."
Then do it.
Mihawk looked at his unconscious little frog.
Just kill me if it makes you happy.
"Selfish fool," he muttered again, shaking his head. How many times had Roronoa offered him his life? Almost begged Mihawk to kill him?
During their first encounter, Roronoa had offered his life as a fee, only to be able to fight against him once. Quietly, Mihawk clicked his tongue. Why then was he the one who felt threatened, even though Roronoa was the one risking his life?
He looked surprised when Jiroushin slightly patted him on the shoulder.
"Are you even listening, Hawky? What's going on? What are you annoyed about again?"
He had completely forgotten that the soldier was still there. But now the blond raised an eyebrow with a grin.
"If I didn't know better, I would say you're worried about this pirate."
For a moment, they looked at each other.
"Go to sleep Jiroushin. Believe me, you will need all your strength. Keeping an eye on Roronoa is worse than any toddler could be."
The blond next to him laughed.
"So that means you agree? You will visit Gat and entrust me with your worthy protégé?"
Mihawk nodded silently, his eyes pinned on Roronoa.
"Where does this sudden change of heart come from? I thought it was a waste of your time. Besides, I could still turn your Roronoa in, couldn't I? As long as he's not superior to me."
"Don't call him that."
"How? What bothers you about it? That's his name now..."
"Jiroushin." Mihawk rose and walked through the plain room to the window, looking out into the darkness of the night. "I will leave tomorrow morning and come back as soon as I can. For that time, I trust you to take care of Roronoa."
He heard the other making a surprised sound. "Um, okay sure. But as I said, Hawky. He's not a small child - or a woman during a high-risk pregnancy - why do you always talk about him as if..."
"He is not hanging on to life."
"What?"
Sighing, Mihawk folded his arms.
"It is like you say, Roronoa is merciless. Not only to others, not only concerning the swordfight, but also – no, above all – towards himself. He always uses everything he has, including his life. It would not be good if his luck leaves him alone in such a fateful moment."
He could hear Jiroushin rising behind him.
"Your words make no sense to me, Hawky. But whatever. I will now follow your advice and go to sleep. What about you? Shouldn't you rest a little?"
He shook his head without turning around.
"I will have days to rest. But I want to talk to Roronoa before I leave, so I will wait until he wakes up."
"Suit yourself."
He could hear heavy steps as the other walked out of the room.
"Jiroushin." The steps fell silent and Mihawk sighed again, knowing that he would soon regret the following words. "Even though I do not like to admit it, you are probably right about Roronoa."
"You've got to get a bit more specific, Hawky. I suppose you don't mean the part where I think he's one of the worst criminals of the century..."
This actually made Mihawk grin, but only for a short moment before he got serious again.
"He is important to me and I am constantly worried about him. Even now, seeing him safely in bed in front of me, I cannot stop worrying." Shaking his head, he looked at his fuzzy reflection in the glass. "You are correct, I like him, very much. So please, watch out for Roronoa for the next few days. I entrust his life to you, Jiroushin, the life of my little frog."
Silence.
"Tze, you are truly selfish, Hawky. See you tomorrow morning."
The door fell close. Slowly, Mihawk turned around and took a deep breath. He did not like change, but since Roronoa had come around his life had changed, even his monotonous friendship with Jiroushin seemed to change.
Shaking his head, he went back to his seat at the side of Roronoa's bed. In the past he would not have said such a thing, would never have asked for such a thing, would probably never have...
"Selfish, isn't it?"
-Zoro-
"Good morning."
He strenuously tried to keep his eyes open. His body felt numb and heavy, so he had lost control again. What had happened? Once again, he couldn't remember anything. Not much more than the fight against Jiroushin and the fact that the other had wanted to end the fight.
On the edge of his field of vision, he could see the blurry scheme of the Shichibukai, but his head did not want to obey him and turn to the side.
Except for the small light source behind Mihawk, the room was dark, so it had to be in the middle of the night. This meant that Zoro had been unconscious either for only a few hours or at least for a whole day.
"For six hours you were unconscious," the Shichibukai replied, as if he had followed Zoro's thoughts, "much shorter than last time. Which may be because I interrupted your madness faster this time, but there is no need to thank me."
Zoro snorted.
"Look at that, you also seem to recover much faster. How pleasing."
Nevertheless, Zoro couldn't really move and without the annoying hair falling in his face he hadn't even been able to tell which body he was in, it seemed so far away.
He could hear the other man moving and then Mihawk sat on the bed, deliberately bringing himself into Zoro's field of vision. For a moment, the Shichibukai said nothing, but just looked at Zoro, seemed to observe him.
"I assume that you cannot remember anything this time as well."
Instead of a nod, Zoro could only grunt in agreement.
"Well." The elder sighed and interrupted eye contact for a moment. "Then I will explain everything to you now and then you will sleep, understand?"
Zoro didn't even think about paying tribute to this ridiculous instruction with an answer.
"You can rejoice, Roronoa, your mania is no longer a mystery to me. That means as soon as you can train again, you will learn to control it."
What was the other talking about? How was it possible that after watching it only twice, Mihawk could claim to have seen through it?
"Yes, that surprises you, right?" Now the Shichibukai grinned arrogantly. "It is very simple. Your mania is a defense mechanism of your body to protect you. Do not look at me like that, I will explain it to you now."
This was also desperately needed, because Zoro did not understand a word.
"As you know, each Haki is as individual as the fingerprint, and Jiroushin's Haki certainly felt different to mine." That was true, Zoro had thought he had imagined it, but apparently, they really differed. "And as you know, the stronger Haki always destroys the weaker one, the harder armor breaks the weaker one."
This time Zoro managed to nod.
"Haki is, of course, nothing more than the manifested form of one's own life energy. Like blood, the body reproduces it constantly, supplying the organs and cells with it and replenishing the reserves. But by your gift, you can feed on foreign Haki like a blood transfusion and mix it with your own Haki."
So far Zoro came along.
"Of course you should already know all this, after all, these are the basics that we have covered long ago. But from now on it will be interesting. The problem, however, is that you cannot just donate every blood type to every person. There are different types of blood with different particles and some people do not tolerate certain particles and the different types of blood can destroy each other. Behaving very similarly... You do not understand that comparison, do you?"
Zoro shook his head, at least he tried. Until now he had no idea that there were different blood types, now he understood why Chopper stored blood bottles from every single one of the crew. Had the young doctor mentioned something in this direction? He didn't know and, to be honest, he didn't care.
The Shichibukai rolled his eyes and rubbed through his face unnerved.
"Why am I even trying?" He grumbled. "Alright, Roronoa, it is quite simple explained. It is unnatural to have foreign Haki in one's body, since different Hakis will always try to destroy each other. Nevertheless, you are able to do this and you can even control and use the foreign Haki like your own. Your Haki does not destroy the foreign Haki in your body for whatever reason, even if your own Haki is much stronger than the foreign one. But when the point comes that you have spent very much of your own and little of the foreign Haki, this ratio flips. From this point on, the foreign Haki is stronger than yours and tries to destroy your own Haki. Do you understand? And if your own Haki dies out and your body is prevented from forming new Haki by the foreign Haki, then you die."
What bothered Zoro most about this statement was that he had no idea when and how the Shichibukai had gotten all that knowledge, while he himself was already struggling to understand what Mihawk was trying to explain.
"So the moment when the foreign Haki becomes stronger than your own, either because you spent too much of your own or just picked up too much foreign Haki at once – as it was the case both in the fight against Jiroushin and against me – your body goes into this defense mechanism in order to spent as much foreign Haki as quickly as possible, so that your own Haki is again the stronger one and is not destroyed."
Slowly, Zoro understood what that meant.
"It is exactly what you think, Roronoa. As long as you use the foreign Haki instead of your own, you will never succumb to this mania again, as simple as that."
There was the solution. A nightmare that had haunted him his whole life and suddenly it had lost its horror, suddenly this nightmare was no longer a reality. Only now did Zoro notice that the Shichibukai was watching him attentively, an almost nasty smile on his thin lips.
"So, is this the way you want to go, Roronoa? "
This question confused him, and the other's grin grew. Of course, he wanted to go that way, why wouldn't he want to? With a bit of training, he would be able to take advantage of this ability and erase the disadvantage. He would never again wake up and not be able to move, not knowing what had happened in the last few hours.
The Shichibukai laughed quietly and turned his gaze away.
"So naive?"
"W... what?" Zoro growled, but his voice barely obeyed him.
"Well, you still do not understand it, Roronoa. Of course, you can avoid ever becoming this monster again. But..." Suddenly, Mihawk bent down to him, so that their noses almost touched and Zoro could see nothing but these engaging intense eyes. "But you will never be able to defeat me like that."
Now the Shichibukai again brought some distance between them, his voice just a hint and his grin wild, almost animalistic, as Zoro had only seen a few times.
"I play in a very different league, Roronoa, and there are very, very few people in this world who can compete at this level. And what I have seen from you may be enough to be able to catch up at some point. But believe me, to defeat me, it takes a real monster and not a leashed dog."
Did the other want to tell him that he...?
"If you want to defeat me, Roronoa, then it is not enough to keep the monster under lock and key. When I say you have to control this monster, I mean, you have to become this monster and use its abilities for you, do you understand?"
This bastard!
Mihawk sat upright again, still arrogantly grinning, and stroke his beard.
"You really thought it would be enough to deal with your problem for a few weeks, face your anxiety for a few weeks, and then you could bury it forever? Oh Roronoa, I really thought you were more grownup."
Somehow the other one just annoyed him unbelievably and the worst thing was that Zoro didn't even have the strength to oppose him, which annoyed him even more.
"When I asked you to choose, when I told you that you were afraid to take the next step, it was not about whether you were ready to face your monster, Roronoa, I thought I made that clear. It was about whether you are ready to become the monster."
For a second, the other was silent and inspected his hand, then he rose.
"But you do not have to worry about that for now." Now he sounded as smooth as ever. "I decided to follow your and Jirou's advice and visit my father to sort things out once and for all. I will be away for two weeks. During this time, Jiroushin will monitor your training and you will be working on exactly what we have just discussed. I think two weeks should be enough time for you to learn to distinguish and use the different Hakis within your body and when I am back you can tell me if you are ready to become a monster to defeat me."
The Shichibukai raised one hand and disappeared from Zoro's field of vision as he walked to the door.
"I ask you not to trouble Jirou too much. He will soon become a father and should not..."
"Mi..hawk!" Breathing heavily, Zoro sat up. His upper body slumped almost over again and his hands lay powerless in his lap, but now he could see the Shichibukai again, who met his gaze with an almost surprised expression.
"Roronoa, you should not..."
"Shut... up." Why did he feel like his body was weighing tons? "Now it's... my turn."
Mihawk turned to him again and folded his arms.
"Well, I am waiting."
Zoro couldn't prevent a grin.
"You are an... asshole, you know that? I... thought all this time, it's about something important. I thought you... didn't want to train me anymore... because I'm afraid of… losing control… and not being ab… able to recover..." It was exhausting, but he wanted to say it now, not wait two weeks, not give in to the other. "And now you tell me... that I only... need to become… the monster myself?"
"Only?"
"You bastard! If all... I need to do to defeat my monster is ... to become it myself... if that is enough to defeat you, then..." He could see Mihawk's eyes grow. "Why didn't you… just say so?"
His body was heavy, and he dropped back on the pillow.
"You know... they don't call me the Demon of the East Blue for nothing."
It had been exhausting, he was tired, and his eyes were about to fall close.
A quiet laugh came from the door.
"You are truly impossible, Roronoa."
He did not answer anything, he was too exhausted to say anything else; it cost all his strength to stay awake.
"You should really sleep now. See you again in two weeks and then I will teach you to defeat me."
Zoro fell asleep with a grin.
-Mihawk-
"Are you really sure you want to do this to him?"
He rushed through the dark forest, Jiroushin next to him. It would take hours until the sun rose.
Immediately after his conversation with Roronoa, he had gone back into his room – which had shown no traces of the previous night, although he did not know whether Perona or Jiroushin had been responsible for cleaning up his mess – to pack and now he wanted to leave. The sooner he left, the sooner he would come back.
"It is his decision, Jiroushin, and he is ready, he is willing."
The soldier next to him snorted.
"He has no idea what that means. It would be much safer for him to surmount this madness, not to succumb to it."
Mihawk stopped and looked cold at the blond.
"But Jiroushin, what good does safety do if he cannot defeat me?"
With his mouth open, the other shook his head, apparently unable to answer him.
"You have to understand his point of view, my dear friend." Mihawk continued his way. "You said it yourself, Roronoa is merciless, uncompromising. I think he was even relieved when he understood what he actually had to expect. He wants to have it his way, not matter the consequences."
"His way will kill him."
"Or me, if he gets good enough."
"Tze..."
The other was silent.
"What is your problem, Jiroushin? I would have expected you to approve if he breaks in the attempt of controlling it and loses his mind? A monster less to worry about."
"All of this is your fault," was all the other murmured when they reached the port. The Marine ship, which had probably brought the blond, had long since disappeared. "I wish he wasn't so important to you, Hawky, then a lot of things would be easier. Then I wouldn't have to care what happens to him."
Now Mihawk stopped again and regarded his friend from the side, who stared stubbornly straight ahead.
"But the way things are, I have to hope that nothing happens to him, must defend his life in doubt, just because of you and your weird feelings for this bastard."
"You know I do not bind you to any of this, Jirou. Even if you would kill him after I leave, I could understand it and would not blame you."
Jiroushin remained silent for a second.
"Liar," he whispered, "you may understand it and maybe comprehend my actions. Still, you'd hate me for it, still, you'd want revenge."
Mihawk observed how a faint strip of silver illuminated the horizon.
"You know me too well, Jiroushin. Nevertheless, regardless of what happens, even if you kill Roronoa, I will never take your life, nor will I take the lives of the people you care about. You should know that, too."
"And I have always told you that I will never oppose you, Mihawk. But I did this morning."
Now Mihawk smiled.
"Oh no, that was not opposing. I know your speed Jirou. If you had been really serious, I would have hardly had the time to get a sword and put myself in front of Roronoa, I would have needed to block you from the side or barehanded."
He raised his hand to greet his friend and walked along the narrow dock.
"Mihawk!" He stopped but did not turn around. "If I would take Roronoa to court. You'd get him back, wouldn't you? You wouldn't allow him to be executed, would you?"
Did Jiroushin really want to test him right now? What a ridiculous attempt.
"Please, Jirou, I am not twenty anymore." He walked on. "If the Marines dare to stand in my way once more, I will burn them down to the ground this time."
"You're obsessed, Mihawk, do you know that?"
Now he smiled.
"Oh yes, I am very much aware of that."
