An: Title is a line from Shakespeare Sonnet 69. Also, 69, lulz.

Donna sat, staring at the Doctor and Pearce. Vastra was still stood in front of them. Darrow nervously toyed with her gun. Jenny quickly debated whether there was any move she could make that wouldn't cause the Doctor to get shot. She'd heard about his regenerating abilities but wasn't about to risk putting them to the test.

It's just another case. Jenny thought to herself. We've handled all sorts before.

"Oh, but this is amazing!" The Doctor exclaimed. "I didn't realise you two were time travellers too!"

"We're not." Pearce replied through gritted teeth.

"Weepin' Angels." Jenny cut in to explain.

The Doctor's face became a rictus.

"Look. You remember those lockets that Torchwood had?" Jenny prompted.

He nodded, his jaw dropping open slightly.

"An' you told me they belonged to the infamous Space Pirates."

The Doctor nodded again. Jenny waited. His eyes widened. "OH! Of course!" The Doctor hit himself on the forehead with the heel of his hand. "Stupid! Ohhh. The silly vest should've been a dead giveaway. I am so stupid." He grinned and turned around to look up at Pearce, sobering slightly at the sight of the gun. "Blimey it really was a circus wasn't it. So, when you say you want returning to your own time..."

"You can't just take them home!" Jenny protested.

"Why not? S'where they belong." The Doctor swivelled back round.

"They'll just get arrested again by Weeping Angels or somethin'." Jenny pointed out.

"Well I can't sort out everyone's problems. Even with a TARDIS, I wouldn't have the time. 'Sides, it's what you get for being pirates."

"I personally fail to see how these two criminals being arrested would be a problem." Vastra scowled.

"Oh well, now this is a turn up for the books!" Darrow feigned shock. "Vastra being on the side of the law!"

"Why not bring those police men back and have them try to arrest us?" Pearce challenged.

"Yes, I'm sure they could shoot us just fine. Through numbers alone, if not by actual marksmanship."

Jenny glanced at Donna who'd been silent during this exchange. She was watching them bicker with an expression of amusement on her face.

"An' I thought I had a gob." Donna said when she noticed Jenny looking at her.

Pearce, Darrow, the Doctor and Vastra all turned to glower at her.

Jenny gave an exasperated sigh. "How about me and Vastra handle Torchwood and the Doctor handles the time travel and no-one gets shot or captured."

"Apart from us!" Vastra protested. "Our…agreement with Torchwood doesn't exactly cover theft."

"Why not? They stole the lockets from Pearce and Darrow in the first place. S'more like recoverin' stolen property."

The Doctor laughed. "You'd shut down every Museum ever, Jenny Flint."

"I don't believe Torchwood will exactly take the same view." Vastra spoke over him.

"Well s'not like Croup and Vandemar are in charge anymore." Jenny turned to the Doctor for support.

"We don't even know where the lockets are kept! And their method of detecting them is useless." Vastra waved at the still glowing orange detector.

"I do. S'where the locket took me that time was into their vaults." Jenny realised the second after the words left her mouth that this possibly wasn't the wisest thing she'd ever said. She closed her eyes as Pearce pointed the gun at her again.

"Jenny!" The Silurian's cry tugged at Jenny's heart.

"Oh, I think we just found a new method for detecting them that will be quite…efficient." Darrow grinned delightedly.

"Unless you want to try that bullet catching act after all, I'd suggest you sit down Vastra." Pearce cocked her gun as the Silurian made as if to move. Vastra complied.

"Hey now, Pearce, Darrow. We're all mates here. All old circus buddies, ey?" The Doctor looked nervous as Pearce moved forward and grabbed Jenny's arm, hauling her towards the door.

"Indeed! And what are friends for but for helping each other? We'll be back Doctor. And just to make sure you don't run off, I think we'll take your beautiful lady here with us too." Darrow motioned for Donna to walk in front of her.

"His what?" Donna folded her arms

"Donna." The Doctor warned. She looked at him and he shook his head.

Heaving a sigh and muttering under her breath Donna accompanied Jenny, Pearce and Darrow out the door.

Parker was chatting with his son in the stable doorway as they brushed down Alice and put the carriage away, speculating on what had happened at 13 Paternoster Row now that required an entire cohort of police. He looked up as he heard the door slam to see Jenny being dragged across the courtyard towards them with Pearce pointing a gun at her head.

"Parker. Could you get the carriage ready again?" Jenny asked apologetically, forestalling any questions.

"At once, Miss Jenny." Parker nodded warily and went to collect the reins and harness. Alice whickered at Jenny in oblivious greeting. Parker's son squared his shoulders as Donna and Darrow approached them all but a look from Jenny stopped him from anything more than glowering.

When the carriage was ready, Jenny nodded up to Parker who was sat next to his son. "You remember where Torchwood was when Vastra took you that time?"

"Aye Miss Jenny."

"Well, we're payin' 'em another visit." She said wearily, as she followed Darrow and Donna into the back of the carriage, Pearce and her gun bringing up the rear.

Pearce sat in silence, pointing her gun vaguely in Jenny's direction but staring out the window in boredom. Donna kept throwing glances at Jenny to see if she had a plan but Jenny was distracted by Darrow who sat diagonally across from her, smirking.

"Vastra seems to be quite fond of you." Darrow probed, twiddling a blade handle.

"So, you two are lovers?" Jenny retorted.

"I think that's a rather loose term."

"We're married." Pearce cut in, turning from the window.

"In your own time? In the future?" Donna asked.

Darrow turned to Donna with a mildly affronted expression. "No, no. We got married here. Decided it would help us fit in more." Darrow looked back at Jenny and laughed at her shock. "Oh, you thought you couldn't? Anything is possible, Miss Jenny."

Even Pearce snorted in amusement at the glare Jenny shot at Darrow. "That'd be something to see. A human and a lizard getting married. She eats humans. Did you know that?"

"Yes." Jenny snapped.

"You what?" Donna gave Jenny a very wary look.

"Well she don't really any more. Well, only people that deserve it."

"Oh an' who decides that then?!" Donna asked angrily, folding her arms.

Jenny couldn't think how to answer. Vastra seemed to restrict herself to criminals and even then it'd been a while since she'd met one reprehensible enough to 'deserve' it. She frowned.

"Well she ain't really eaten anyone for a while. Since she met me. Only threatens to."

"Oh, well, it must be love then." Pearce tutted, flashing a wry grin at Darrow.

Jenny was vibrating with barely contained rage and Pearce had foolishly stopped pointing a gun at her. The carriage was jolting slightly but Jenny pulled off a feat of balance that would've impressed the most sea-hardened pirate. She half rose and, using the swaying of the carriage to give her added impetus, reached across, and punched Pearce squarely on the nose.

The infamous Space Pirate didn't bother crying out in pain. She ignored the sudden gush of blood and shoved Jenny back down onto her seat, her arm against Jenny's throat and her pistol at Jenny's temple.

"Sil!" Darrow barked and Pearce froze.

"Only because we need you to know where our lockets are." Pearce hissed, slowly holstering her gun.

"You think if you kill me, the Doctor would ever take you back? He beat Croup and Vandemar." Jenny struggled against Pearce's grip. She managed to bend a leg up and kicked out with a grunt, sending Pearce reeling. "He wouldn't have any problems dealin' with you."

Darrow immediately threw an arm across Pearce's chest. "Enough." She pulled a burgundy hankie from her pocket and held it to Pearce's nose. "It seems like you're not having too much of a problem either, Miss Jenny."

Jenny sat in amazement, both at the compliment and the fact she was watching the woman who had been about to kill her surrender to such a gentle gesture.

"You think you're the only one to tame a killer?" Darrow appeared amused by her shock.

"You didn't tame me." Pearce said thickly, her voice half muffled by the hankie.

"Ah no, I suppose you came willingly enough didn't you." There was a genuine smile on Darrow's lips now.

Jenny sat back in her seat, staunchly refusing to be jealous and instead concentrating on how she was going to get Torchwood to give her back the lockets, ignoring the gob-smacked Donna.

Jenny wasn't too surprised when it turned out that Commander Wilton remembered her. Her name was enough to bring him striding very quickly towards the gate, waving to the several guards who'd stopped the carriage to let it enter. Apparently, he remembered the two infamous space pirates as well, Jenny surmised when she watched him visibly deflate as they all stepped down from the carriage.

"Technically," Jenny pointed out after Pearce and Darrow had pointed their guns and stated their demands. "It's not alien technology. So, technically, Torchwood shouldn't really have an interest in keeping it."

"What is it this time? Lizard people from the future?" Wilton asked sarcastically.

"Just humans." Darrow smiled her unsettling smile. It was the last straw for Wilton, who summoned Frank and Nigel to him and sent them off to fetch the lockets. He caught Jenny looking at him questioningly and gave a wry smile.

"I doubt the Queen would be very pleased if I reported to her that I'd let you be killed. Seems to have taken a shine to you. These two will have to be put on the enemies of the empire list, of course."

"They're due to be returned to their own time." Jenny reassured him. "I doubt they'll bother Torchwood again."

Wilton snorted derisively.

"Torchwood?! This is Torchwood?" Donna tugged Jenny's sleeve.

"You know it?"

"It's only the thing in the future that tried to kill me! You know I told you about being engaged to the bloke who threw me over for a spider woman?"

Jenny nodded.

"Well we both worked for a company that was secretly Torchwood!" Donna looked around wonderingly. "So, this is where it all began…"

"You work for Torchwood?" Wilton gaped.

"In the future. Well for a front company of theirs. They…" Donna's face fell. "They're responsible for the battle of Canary Wharf. The skies full of Daleks. Cybermen."

"Cybermen?" Jenny suppressed a shiver.

"From a parallel universe. They…all those people…" Donna's voice shook. "An' Rose…"

Jenny went cold. "I thought Rose was just…lost."

"Yeah. In the parallel universe."

"With a bunch of Cybermen?"

"Oh! No." Donna snapped out of her reverie to find everyone, even Darrow and Pearce, staring at her. "They all got sucked into the Void. She was beamed back to it just before the rift closed."

Jenny glanced at Wilton and noticed he was looking pale and perturbed. Thankfully they were saved from any further questions by Nigel scurrying back up from the vaults holding a parcel of black velvet. Pearce blinked, stepped forward, held out her hand and he tentatively gave it to her. She passed it to Darrow, who ripped it open with a knife, eyeing the lockets lovingly.

"Well, even if we can't persuade the Doctor to take us back, this should allow us to have some more fun." She said as she stepped behind Pearce and fastened one locket around her neck.

"The Doctor?!" Wilton suddenly brought himself to attention. "The Doctor is here?"

"Only temporarily!" Jenny put out a hand. "How else did you think they'd get back?"

"This will have to be reported to the Queen!" Wilton went to leave only to walk straight into Pearce's gun.

"Not until he's taken us back." She waved him away.

"Really! You would make a complete mockery of Torchwood?!" He gestured angrily at the courtyard.

"Well surely you don't want to report to the Queen that you got killed, do you? Or is she not so attached to you?"

Jenny glared meaningfully at Darrow, who nodded. She grabbed Pearce by the collar and tugged her away towards the gate.

"Parker will take you back to Paternoster Row." Jenny followed them at a safe distance.

"And what will you do, Miss Jenny?" Darrow asked.

"Stall Torchwood?" Jenny shrugged.

"You are curious. We're not waving any guns at you currently, you know."

"I hadn't noticed." Jenny bit back sarcastically.

Darrow gave her a long searching look. "Well, good luck."

Jenny was piqued as she watched Darrow climb into the carriage.

"Well I'd best be gettin' back with them then. If Torchwood are after the Doctor he'll be wanting to make a quick getaway." Donna smiled, giving Jenny a quick squeeze of a hug. "Take care of yourself! An' make sure your lizard doesn't eat any more people." She shouted over her shoulder as she climbed into the carriage.

Jenny waved a worried looking Parker to take them home. She looked up at Wilton as he came to stand beside her, watching the carriage turn around and rattle away.

"I've already sent Frank over to the palace. We're not completely useless you know. Nor that easily stalled. So why remain here?" he asked curiously.

"Cos if I'd gone back with them I might've punched them again. An' they might really shoot me now they've got their lockets."

Wilton raised an eyebrow. "I did notice a slight bloodied nose. Your handiwork I presume?"

"Yes." Jenny confessed.

"You know, the Queen is right. It really is a shame you won't work for Torchwood." He tutted. "I'd make you a Lieutenant?"

"I don't think the Doctor would like that. Nor my employer. But you c'n give me a lift. Before she…comes looking for me." Jenny hinted.

Wilton laughed nervously. "I think we could arrange that, Miss Flint."

Thus it was that a carriage marked with the Queen's coat of arms turned up once more outside 13 Paternoster Row. Jenny skirted hastily round to the back yard to find Parker and his son leaning out of the stables, looking for her. She waved to show she was all right and ran up to the back door. It was opened, just as she got to it, by the Doctor.

"Ey! And here's Jenny Flint. Don't worry, I've already sent them back. Darrow left you this by the way, to remember her by." He handed her the gleaming flintlock pistol that had been used to threaten her. Jenny took it gingerly.

"Fink I prefer swords." She muttered as she examined it. "Where's Vastra?"

The Doctor looked shifty. "Well, when Parker and Son came back here without you…she..."

"She saddled up Alice and rode out like an avenging widow to go find you." Donna appeared by his side, sipping a cup of tea.

"Oh, I thought she looked more like the Last Samurai, what with the swords." The Doctor argued, gesticulating to indicate a pair of swords strapped to his back.

Jenny covered her eyes with her hand.

Lieutenant Wilton had just received word back from Frank at the Palace that the Queen was not amused at the fact that the Doctor was back in her Empire once more, despite the strictest of banishments, when he heard another horse ride up, hooves clattering on the cobbles.

He froze in terror as the horse, looking very excited at having been galloping and without a carriage attached behind it, stopped in front of him, hooves kicking up sparks against the cobbles.

"We sent her back! We sent her back!" he shouted, waving his hands frantically. "It wasn't a serious offer, merely a compliment of her skills! We really will make her Lieutenant!"

"What on earth are you on about?"

"We sent her back! You must've crossed paths. She's on her way back to 13 Paternoster Row as we speak."

Vastra tugged on Alice's reins, making her rear up and wheel around. Without a backward glance at Wilton she rode off.

She'd barely disappeared back down the street when Wilton heard more clattering and turned to see the Queen's personal carriage arrive at Torchwood's gate. He smothered a groan, offering a substantially sized prayer to his God to not to make his day any worse and then walked over to greet her Majesty.

By the time Vastra and Alice had cantered back to 13 Paternoster Row, Jenny was leaning against the back-door frame, sipping tea. Donna and the Doctor had sloped off after Jenny's warning that Queen Victoria was on her way. Parker had gone home for a lie down and his son was attempting to clean Pearce's blood off the upholstery of the carriage.

Vastra slid off Alice, leaving Parker's son to grab her and lead her into the stables. She walked straight up to Jenny who put her cup down, stepping back to let her inside. Jenny was glad she'd already finished her tea as Vastra pulled Jenny towards her and kissed her soundly. Jenny wondered briefly as she simultaneously tugged Vastra further into the kitchen and pushed the door to, whether Vastra had "come willingly" or whether it had been Jenny herself who'd been tamed. But when Vastra was kissing her like that it didn't really seem to matter…

What did matter, Jenny belatedly realised, was that she had once again failed to lock the door, leaving it very easily opened by a very unamused British monarch.

The look on Queen Victoria's face was somehow more terrifying than any space pirate's gun.

"Ah! Your majesty. I'm afraid he's already gone." Vastra blurted out.

"Yes." The Queen said tonelessly. "I rather suspected as much from your…activities."

Jenny felt all of her blood that had gone cold at the Queen's entrance, suddenly heat up and flood to her cheeks.

"You know, Madame Vastra, if you intend to be a detective, you might wish to consider better security habits."

"I s'pose thas the offer of Lieutenant gone then." The derisive 'Madame' riled Jenny beyond her fear. But she still swallowed as the Queen turned her gaze on Jenny.

"Yes. I think it best that you are not seen to be working for me. Between this, and your continued association with the Doctor." The Queen replied coldly.

"What…" Vastra began but the Queen swept out, slamming the door behind her. "Well…" the Silurian huffed in relief.

Jenny strode over and turned the key in the lock, sliding the bolts across with unnecessary force.

Vastra raised an eye ridge, smiling. "Is that an indication you wish to pick up from where we were so rudely interrupted?"

Jenny replied only by tugging Vastra down for another kiss.

An: Donna! Spoilers! As always, the author retains the right to seriously abuse the Being Walked In On Trope. I think I may have to retire it after this because really who can beat Queen Victoria?