Chapter 11 Golf Clubs
Ludwig let out a breath. He was currently sitting in the classroom, and the class itself was just minutes away from starting. He was not looking forward to this. He just knew, if the display with the notes yesterday was any indication, that this was going to go downhill almost immediately. He just hoped that he could enjoy these last few minutes of his life before he was killed by cringe. Just as Ludwig started to slump down in his chair, Celia came into the room and took a seat next to him. Ludwig slowly turned his head toward her, a look of the worst kind of anticipation on his face.
"It was nice knowing you, Celia." He forced himself to sit up as Celia cast him a confused look.
"What are you talking about?" she asked. Ludwig let out a sharp exhale.
"What else? Aside from the fact that this is going to suck." He shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm here; I'm clearly not gonna want to see this." He pulled a brown paper bag out of his hammerspace. "I even brought a bag in case I need to puke."
"Oh come on," Celia said. "It's not going to be that bad."
Once again, Ludwig couldn't help but let out an incredulous scoff.
"Oh really? You're willing to put your faith in the guy who thought that the term 'allegro' applied to a type of song?"
Celia's brow scrunched up a little. Her eyes looked ten times redder than normal.
"First of all, not everybody is as infatuated by music as you. Heck, I myself don't even know what the term allegro means."
Ludwig scoffed. As if that was supposed to be a valid rebuttal. Celia at least had an excuse, seeing how she ran away from home when she was a fourth grader. Roy, on the other hand, had none. For crying out loud, he was related to Ludwig; one of the most well known musicians in the Koopa Kingdom!
"And second," Celia said, interrupting Ludwig's thoughts, "this is a middle school music class. All that Roy needs to do is teach the kids the basics. Really, how difficult is that supposed to be?"
Ludwig thought about this. As he did, his mood started to soften up a little bit. Eventually, he smiled.
"You're right. As long as Roy sticks with a lesson plan, he should be just fine."
Celia returned the smile just as the school bell rang. Roy came in through the door, and a bunch of middle schoolers followed in his wake.
"Alright!" Roy called out. "Everyone, take a seat so we can get started with class!"
The kids all took their seats in random parts of the classroom. Ludwig took note of the different instruments that they were carrying. A few kids were carrying flutes, others had guitars, and Ludwig was impressed to see that one kid had a cello. He smiled just as a little girl came up to him.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" she squealed in delight. "You're Ludwig von Koopa!"
Ludwig swelled with pride.
"Why yes. Yes I am."
The girl let out another squeal, grabbed hold of his hand, and gave it a generous shake.
"I am so glad to meet you! I love your music."
Ludwig grinned.
"Aw, thank you!" The girl returned the grin and skipped back to her seat. Ludwig turned back toward Celia, feeling as if his heart was fluttering. "Can you believe it? I just talked to an angel!"
"Okay!" Roy called out from the front of the classroom. He clapped his hands together. "Now that everyone is here, we can get started." He picked up a piece of paper on the teacher's desk. "Today, I'm gonna teach you about note...tation? Note nation?"
"Ahem! Notation!" Ludwig said loudly. Roy chuckled in embarrassment.
"Yeah, that." He turned toward the whiteboard behind him and picked up a marker. Ludwig watched as he drew a quarter note. Once he was done, he turned back toward the class. "Okay, this thingy right here is...is..."
Ludwig leaned forward. He prayed that Roy could actually get the right name.
Come on, say quarter note, Roy. Quarter note! Ludwig thought. Roy scratched his temple before putting on a smile.
"This...is a golf club!"
The kids gave each other confused looks as shock pierced Ludwig's heart. He started to sputter and fume.
"Gah...gah...a golf club?"
"Oh no," Celia muttered quietly as she did a soft facepalm. Roy looked down at his paper, turned back toward the board, and started to draw two more things; a half note and an eighth note.
"And this," he said as he pointed toward the half note, "is a broken golf club! See how it has a hole right in the middle of the tappy part?"
Ludwig's fuming got even stronger. He bit his lip as he felt his face growing hot. Blue flames made themselves known around his hands. Roy pointed toward the eighth note he had drawn.
"As for this..." Roy let out a chuckle. "Well, I don't know who's using this to play golf, but they probably aren't scoring a lot of points."
The blue flames crawled up Ludwig's arms. He felt like shooting a fireball at Roy right then and there. He wanted to do it so badly that he could taste the temptation. Fortunately, he did no such thing. Instead, he swallowed his anger and tapped on the shoulder of a boy sitting right in front of him.
"Excuse me. Are you using that guitar?" The boy shook his head. "May I borrow it?" The boy handed him the instrument. "Thank you."
With the instrument in hand, Ludwig made his way out into the hallway. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he started hitting himself in the head with the guitar.
"NOOO!" he vented. "THAT GOLF CLUB YOLU WERE TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S A QUARTER NOTE! AND THAT DOUBLE GOLF CLUB? THAT'S AN EIGHTH! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID? STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!"
Right at that moment, just as Ludwig hit himself in the head one last time, the guitar exploded in flames. The door to the classroom also slid open thanks to the impact. Ludwig slowly turned back toward the class, who were all staring at him. He chuckled in embarrassment.
"Hehehe. My apologies." He silently made his way toward his seat in the back of the class. He handed the smoldering remains of the guitar back toward the boy. "Don't worry, I'll replace your guitar." He took a seat. "Someday."
Roy stared at him, sniffed, and turned back toward the board. This time, he drew a whole note. Ludwig leaned forward.
Okay, he thought. There is no way that he can get THIS one wrong. Unfortunately, Ludwig was about to taste the bitter disappointment of being proven wrong. Again.
"And finally," Roy said. "This thingy is a donut hole. See how round it is?"
Ludwig shook his head, his heart sank. He facepalmed just as Roy smiled and addressed the class.
"Now that I think about it, I think getting donuts could make this boring class a lot more lively. What do you say, kids?"
The kid's faces lit up, and they started to chirp and cheer.
"That sounds like a great idea!" one said.
"But how are we gonna pay for them?" asked another. Roy scoffed.
"Duh! We sell your instruments! It's not like they serve that much of a purpose!"
The class cheered while Ludwig gawked in horror at Roy's ludicrous statement. Not much of a purpose? How could someone be so blatantly disrespectful toward the craft? Ludwig felt his pyrokinesis start to flare up again as the light flickered. He had to get out of here as soon as possible.
"Okay, I'm leaving," he told Celia. He started making his way toward the door. Before he could exit the classroom though, he heard Roy address him.
"Uh, Ludwig, where are you going?"
"I'm going to the bathroom!" he announced loudly.
"Uh, you can't," Roy said. "You don't have a hall pass."
Ludwig's eyebrow began to twitch.
"Oh for crying out loud." He turned back toward Roy, a look of pain on his face. "Roy, I'm not a student!"
"That doesn't matter. You still need to set a good example for the kids."
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" Ludwig cried as he was surrounded by flames. "FINE! CAN YOU GIVE ME A HALL PASS?"
Roy shook his head.
"Sorry. I'm in the middle of a lecture."
"Please! PLEASE!" Ludwig begged. "Just give me the hall pass!"
"Sorry, bro, no can do. You have to wait until class is over."
Ludwig felt like screaming. He let out a guttural growl just as the lights overhead exploded. The entire classroom was plunged into darkness, causing the kids to scream in fright.
"Now, now, calm down!" Roy called out to the screaming kids. Celia went over toward the window and gasped.
"Holy shrooms! The power is out for the entire town!"
Ludwig felt embarrassment and shame eat away at him. Without making a sound, he made his way toward the nearest bathroom. Once there, he stood in front of the mirror. He grasped his temples, took a deep breath, and let out a scream.
