A/N: Thank you all for your patience! I haven't had much time nor energy to write these past weeks but I managed to finish this chapter last night so here you go! Until next time, xxxx
Castle ended up staying the whole night, blubbering something about wanting to protect her, and she offered the couch to him. She'd considered offering her bed, thinking she'd have a better shot at surviving if someone broke into her apartment, but she knew he wouldn't take it unless it was a sharing-option. And no matter how much she wanted to she wasn't ready, wasn't sure of what she'd do if she let that happen.
"Hi dad," Kate answered her phone as quietly as she could while she closed her bedroom door.
She'd been keeping tabs on her sleeping partner ever since he fell into the darkness one hour ago when her phone had suddenly started buzzing, her dad's face and name lighting up the screen.
"Hey Katie, how are you holding up?" Her dad's voice was calm even though she still could sense the worry he still felt for her.
She sighed, she was tired of people being worried about her. "I'm good dad, you know more than anybody that I can take care of myself."
"I know," he said with a sigh, "Doesn't mean I'm not worried about my daughter though. You got anyone there with you? Lanie, Ryan, Esposito?...Castle?"
She could hear the hesitation in his voice, the small fear of her hanging up on him because of who he brought up. She might've hung up on him before because of a conversation the two of them had concerning said person. With a sigh she decided to answer truthfully.
"Yes, Castle's here, I didn't ask him to though."
"Of course you didn't," she heard him mumble under his breath and she wondered for a second if he forgot she had as great hearing as he did. "Are you planning on telling him soon?"
By instinct she turned around to look at her closed bedroom door, making sure it's still closed and taking a quick second to focus her hearing on the man still sound asleep on the other side of it. "No."
"Katie," her dad sighed and she bit her lip as she felt the tears swell in her eyes. "You know I waited too long with your mom, if she'd been… if I'd been brave enough to turn her she'd still be here."
"I know," she whispered before adding. "But I… I'm…"
"Afraid," he said without hesitation and she almost hated him for being so right. "You need to tell him, Kate. I know you're scared to but the longer you wait the harder it's going to be. You already waited three years, don't turn it into another three."
Kate backed towards her bed, sitting down as soon as she felt the mattress against the back of her knees. She put her hand on her forehead as she took in a deep breath, trying to think clear. It had gone three years since she met him, since she heard his heartbeat for the first time. Well, technically she'd heard it before, when she went to one of his book signings all those years ago, but when she'd seeked him out for questioning it had been the first time she actually heard the way it beat in the same way hers did. It was during that interview she'd realized why she felt that pull towards him, towards his heart, and that's when she'd started to try and push him away with the coldness that came so easily to her when it came to keeping her heart behind walls. Fuck, he'd gotten past them anyway.
"I can't tell him yet dad," she said. "I will, someday, but not yet." She wasn't sure if it was a promise to her dad or if it was more to herself.
"Okay, Katiebug, okay." She heard the exhaustion in her father's voice and decided it was late and he'd been worried enough for one day.
"You need sleep dad, I do too."
"Yeah, stay safe. Good night Katie."
"Night," she closed the call and put down her phone on the bed beside her. Then she put her head into both her hands, fingers going into her hair as she let go of an exhausted sigh. She'd spent way too many nights fantasizing about how to tell him, even if she'd planned on never actually telling him. Sometimes she wondered if he'd be able to figure it out himself, if he would see her do something a normal human wouldn't be able to and come to the conclusion that it was because she wasn't an ordinary human being. Sometimes she'd fantasized about being clumsy on purpose to turn him suspicious enough to start investigating it, but she'd never act on it.
"Hey, you okay?" the sudden sound of his voice had her whole body jump in fright.
"Oh god," she exclaimed. "What the hell Castle?" It was only a whisper but she could see he blushed anyway, most likely embarrassed for scaring her the way he did. She was lucky she didn't react as a wolf.
"Sorry," he mumbled and she shook her head.
"No, I just… did something wake you?" she asked, suddenly somewhat afraid she'd been so busy with her own thoughts that she'd not heard a possible threat breaking into her apartment.
"No," he shook his head but Kate sensed he wasn't telling the whole truth, and so she gave him a suspicious look of hers in order to try and get him to talk about it. "Well…" he gave in after a few minutes, "I-ah, had a dream where you didn't avoid the bullet. And-ah, I had to make sure you were... here."
"Oh," she mumbled and ran her hand through her hair. "Well, I am. And I'm not going anywhere."
She could see his whole body relax and could hear his heart stop the pounding it had done when she had gotten aware he was in the room. Why hadn't she heard it earlier? Her door had been closed, closed, before he got inside and still she hadn't heard him?! What was wrong with her?
"I should go back to the couch," Castle pointed with his thumb backwards and Kate bit her lip. If she'd been so distracted and not heard him coming in maybe it was a bad idea for him to be out there in case the one trying to kill her decided to come back.
"Or," she started, not having thought it through at all before it spluttering out, "you could sleep in here." As she noticed his eyes grow bigger she swallowed and shook her head. "I mean, as long as you stay on your side we won't have a problem."
"You want me to sleep in your bed?" he asked with surprise written all over his face.
She narrowed her eyes at him, but wasn't sure if it was more directed to herself for letting the words slip her mouth before they went through her mind. "Just remember, I sleep with a gun."
He didn't say another word, just simply nodded with a smile he tried to push down on his lips, as he carefully started moving towards her and the bed she was sitting on. He gestured towards it and Kate nodded as her lips parted.
"You take that side, I sleep on this side anyway." She rose up from the bed as he sat down on the side she'd gestured towards. When he gave her a questioning glance she explained, "I'm just going to go get ready for bed, I'll be back soon."
While she stood in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, she started to think back to the conversation she'd had with her dad. And thought about all the other conversations they'd had before that. She hadn't known how he'd known but from the very first moment she'd told him about her annoying nine-year-old on a sugar rush for a partner he'd known what she'd tried to push away from the start. He'd immediately asked her "when are you going to tell him?" and she'd just looked at him terrified.
"What the hell do you mean?" she'd asked and when he'd suggested she'd tell Castle their secret she'd almost exploded with fury.
When Castle later had left that summer to be with his ex-wife in the Hamptons she'd been so ready to tell him the truth, to tell him everything, and so it had left a deeper scar in her heart than she'd been ready for. Her dad had figured out what had happened and offered going off to talk some sense into her partner but Kate had simply shrugged it off as if it was nothing. She'd told herself it was for the better. She'd seen the pain it brought her dad to watch his mate die, and she never wanted to experience something similar. Her mother's death had been bad enough and she figured it would be a lot more safe to just simply be on her own, no too close attachments. Apart from Lanie then, she'd made her path into Kate's life before Kate had even been aware of her best friend's arrival. Still, Lanie didn't know and she never would. Castle was a different story, and no matter how much she wanted to deny it, she knew he was a different story. And so did her dad.
With a sigh she spit out the toothpaste from her mouth before she headed back to her bedroom. Castle had buried himself under the covers but she could see he was doing his best to stay on his side of the bed. His heart was the first sign to give him away at his try to make her think he was sleeping. The second was the quick flicker of his eyelids when he quickly checked on her as she laid down on her own side. He didn't seem to notice she knew and so she let him believe so by turning off the lights without second thought. Lying in dark she looked towards him, knowing he couldn't see a thing made her brave and she couldn't stop following his facial lines with her eyes. She didn't stop listening to his heart but simply followed the rhythm with her hearing. She could hear the second he fell asleep, and it didn't take long before her own heart followed his rhythm and put her into a peaceful slumber.
When Kate woke up the next morning she was surprised to find her bed empty, she must've really needed sleep in order to not wake up when he got out of bed. Quickly searching with her ears as she started looking around her bedroom she found a sizzling noise coming from the kitchen along with the familiar sound of his heartbeat and the scent of pancakes. Without actually thinking about it her lips pulled up in a smile at the sweet gesture. It reminded her about that time not too long ago when a serial killer had targeted her and he had, oh so heroically, showed up with the intention of protecting her all night. She rolled her eyes at the memory and stood up from her bed to get ready for the day. Even if she was banned from working the case Castle was right, the best detectives always did work better after being booted.
"Good morning," Castle greeted when she eventually got into the kitchen. "Here are some pancakes."
Without another word he handed her a plate filled with pancakes and maple syrup. She thanked him and sat down at her kitchen table with him following with his own plate in his hands.
"So, how do you want to do this?" Castle asked after they'd eaten about half their pancakes. When she gave him a questioning look he explained. "You have to go to the precinct to look over the cases Ryan and Esposito has dug up right? But in the meantime I could stay here and, if it's okay with you, look at your mother's case again, see if the shooter had something to do with it."
"Oh, yeah. I should actually get going, you still know where my extra key is in case you would need to leave?" Kate asked without even thinking twice about letting him stay at her apartment.
"Is it at the same place as when we worked Raglan's death?"
To be continued...
