A/N: Wow, talk about motivated this weekend! It helps TONS when you guys tell me you want more. You see, I don't really see myself as a great story teller, which is why I (at times) get stuck and starts questioning myself and my stories. That's when you guys come in and helps me to find motivation to carry on a story. Anyway, let's pretend the reason I'm updating already is because it's the holidays and I want to give you extra "presents". Have a lovely end to 2019 and an even better beginning of 2020. Last of this decade but not the last of our love for Castle and Beckett. Until next year, xxxx
Kate cursed herself. What the hell had just happened? How did he even find her?! And how the fuck was she going to walk into the cabin without him seeing her totally and utterly naked?! Sometimes she highly wondered why she didn't keep a secret stash with clothes somewhere in the woods. Other times she's just shrugged at the idea of someone coming out to visit her when she's on a run. Her dad might go there but he knew, and honestly no one else knew about the cabin so again. How the hell did he find out about it?! Lurking behind some bushes she watched him through the windows of the cabin. He was looking at her pictures and by the grin on his face she knew she'd have a hard time not killing him once she decided to face him. Whenever that would be. Kate let her claws scratch the dirt under her paws, she hadn't dared change back to human in case he would spot her.
She already feared he'd seen her the first time she'd changed back. She'd been in her human form on her way to the cabin when the wind had suddenly steered his scent her way and she'd forced herself fleeing deeper into the woods before she could turn back into her wolf-form. Later, seeing him getting closer to her, she'd growled at him thinking she'd get him to run away. Apparently not. Instead he'd started talking to her, all the while he'd observed the same way he observed her at the precinct. His heart had raced in the beginning but the longer they'd had their eyes locked the quicker she'd noticed it calm down. Fuck, she hoped he didn't figure it out.
With a sigh Kate figured it was dark enough to try and sneak her way inside, she'd come up with the plan of sneaking in through her bedroom's window. That way she hoped she'd be able to put some clothes on before Castle found her. Without too much of a noise she turned back into her human form and moved around in the trees and bushes towards her bedroom. Jumping the distance to the second floor was no match for her, but it did take some time for her to break open the window, which she'd done a few times before in her early teens. When she finally got inside she listened carefully to establish he hadn't heard her. Being sure he hadn't she made quick works of fetching clothes to put on. To make sure he didn't understand she'd somehow gotten inside the cabin she decided to put on workout leggings along with a long shirt and picked up jogging shoes which she would put on once she was outside. Looking around she quickly went back for the window to jump out again. As she did she made sure the window looked closed before she let go of the window panel to let her feet land on the cold grass.
"Beckett?"
Oh, fuck. She quickly put on her shoes and jogged around the house to see him leaning out on the porch to try and see into the darkness. The second his eyes met her they sparkled with delight and, was that, relief.
"Castle?" she acted surprised. "What are you doing here?"
He got a serious expression onto his face which gave her a lump in her throat. "I got something to tell you, and you didn't answer your phone." For a split second she started to think about the interaction in the woods, fearing he'd figured out it was her and not a normal wolf. But the next words had her swallowing her relief. "It's about the case."
"So this man, did he say who he was?" Kate immediately asked after he'd told her everything that had to do with the phone call. He shook his head and Kate raised from the couch, started to pace back and forth in the small living area. "And the number was blocked?" This time he nodded and Kate ran her hand through her hair.
"He told me you wouldn't be safe unless you stopped pursuing the case," Castle repeated again and Kate humphed.
"That's a no. I'm this close to finding out who's behind my mother's murder, and Montgomery's. I'm not giving up just because they want to silence me too. If anything, it will bring them to me," Kate thought out loud and without any warning, being so into her thoughts she didn't hear him stand from the couch until, he put his hands on her shoulders to stop her wandering. He spun her around and what she saw in his ocean blues had her breath hitching in her throat.
"You need to stop Kate," his voice cracked and she could hear the lump he had in his throat. "If you don't stop they'll decide to k-kill you." She gave him a look saying that wasn't reason enough for her to stop. "Think about the people who love and care about you. Think about your dad, you really think he can go through with another scare? Another death?" He said and she narrowed her eyes in split anger.
"Don't you dare use him as an excuse Castle. He if anybody understand me, so don't use him to your advantage," she held her voice low, threatening even. But he didn't back down.
"My advantage? What the hell do you mean?" he questioned and she was suddenly very aware his hands were still holding her shoulders. The electricity flowing from his fingertips onto her skin through the material of her shirt.
"Yes, your advantage. What about you Rick? Why should I listen to you?" she challenged and his eyes sparked with fire.
"What about me? Of course I care about you! Of course I don't want you to get hurt, or worse killed. And as to why should you listen to me? Because of everything we've been through together!" He was almost shouting, so upset with her that he couldn't keep his voice low like she'd done. But then his eyes turned hurt and broken, and he looked away from her as if to try conceal his tears. She couldn't do anything but stand there, watching him, her voice refusing to be heard. When his eyes reached hers again she could see the fight between anger and breaking apart, both equal strong as he whispered with a cracking tone. "Kate, if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do."
Stunned, she kept glancing between his ocean eyes and tried to cling onto her anger of him trying to decide for her. But she couldn't. Not with the hurt and sorrow she saw in his blues, how broken he somehow seemed by the simple thought of her being gone. Almost like she felt whenever she thought of her mom.
"Rick," she whispered, "if I don't do this… I don't know who I am."
His fingers hugged her shoulders and she bit the insides of her cheek.
"You are who you've always been." He looks directly into her eyes and if it had been anybody else she'd found it creepy, but with him it just felt right. "You're the one who honors the victims. You're the most remarkable, maddening, challenging and frustrating person I've ever met. You're just as extraordinary as I've said since the first time I met you."
Kate looked down, angry tears filling her eyes and leaving just as quick as new ones were produced. Anger at him for trying to tell her what to do, anger at herself for knowing she would never be able to let it go completely. It was one of the reasons she had tried to push him away in the beginning of the partnership. She knew how much he'd mean to her, knew thanks to her inner wolf, her heightened senses, that if it ever came between him and her cause it would kill her either way. She couldn't choose him over her mom, but she couldn't exactly choose her mom over him either.
"I can't let her down," she whispered as she finally dared looking up at him. "I get it, I… but it's not that simple Rick. I can't just not try to find her killer, to get justice for her."
She could tell he was searching her eyes, could tell he was trying his hardest to find more arguments, or at least tried to get a grip on his thoughts.
"Okay," he said after a few minutes of silence and she felt her eyes widen with surprise. "How about we let it go for now…."
"No, Rick…"
"Wait, let me finish," he cut her off and she shut her mouth to hear him out. "We let it go for now, and when everything has passed, when they think we've let it go, we start working on it in secret. You and me. We don't involve anyone else."
She thought about it for a few minutes. Would that be enough? The trace of the man who called him would be long gone if they waited. And so would every other lead they might have found from her shooting. But then again, she was already off the case. Esposito and Ryan could continue the case without her. That didn't feel quite right though, what if the person behind everything targeted them instead. Then again the person behind it all probably only felt threatened by her, why else would they only target her at the captain's funeral? Why not Castle? Why not Esposito or Ryan?
Kate felt his hands slowly glide down her arms, letting her go as if he was afraid he already knew the answer, as if he had no hope she'd agree with him. As if he knew she'd choose getting herself killed over him. But she wouldn't. Couldn't.
"Okay," she whispered with a nod.
Her answer had him look at her with wide eyes, and she could hear his heart racing, the air fill with the scent of his love for her. She felt the urge to cup his cheeks and kiss him, like she'd felt every time when the pheromones of his were released lately. She always stopped herself though, scared of what might happen if she let go.
"Really?" he asked excitedly with a glimpse of relief in his eyes.
Biting her lip she nodded. "Yeah, if you promise we won't let it go for too long," she compromised and he immediately nodded repeatedly.
"That goes without saying," he agreed and she smiled at the way his hair bounced with his nods. The hair she longed to tangle her fingers with.
Kate tried to get a grip of her thoughts, suddenly remembering she had been out on a run she felt the need to keep up with the act of being a normal human being. "I need to take a shower and it's late. I'm guessing you want to sleep over?" she asked and he smirked at a sudden thought, to which she narrowed her eyes. By the looks of it he was grateful she couldn't read his thoughts, because he looked like he'd been caught doing something wrong as he cleared his throat and got rid of the stupid grin.
"Yes please, I can take the couch," he said before wiggling his eyebrows. "Unless you want to share bed again."
Rolling her eyes she muttered under her breath, "That was a one time only," before she started to walk away from him in the direction of the stairs and towards the bathroom. "I'll be in the shower, feel free to continue looking at all the embarrassing pictures my dad still has framed of me as a kid."
With that said she closed the door to the bathroom, not realizing she just admitted to have spied on him before she arrived at the cabin only an hour earlier.
To be continued...
