"About…me?"
Ulquiorra didn't dare touch the papers in front of him. Deep down inside something was screaming at him not to touch them, as their contents would bring him nothing but pain.
"Yes I…didn't want to tell you before but," Urahara looked guilty. "I can't avoid it any longer. Look, Ulquiorra no matter what--"
"What did you tell him?!"
A familiar voice rang through Urahara's work room. A black cat zoomed towards the desk, leaped on top of the papers, and stood between Ulquiorra and Urahara. "Are you mad?! What did you say to him?! Don't you have any shred of decency for other people's feelings?!"
"Now now Yoruichi, I haven't said anything yet," Urahara said, holding his hands up. "But Ulquiorra is a big boy. I think he can handle it."
Yoruichi looked behind him at Ulquiorra with a worried expression, seemed to think for a moment, and got off the papers. "I guess it is time for you to know."
"Will it hurt me if I know what is in here?" Ulquiorra asked.
"Not your body, but your heart," Yoruichi said.
"Hurt…my heart?" Hearts can be hurt? Oh yes…he knew the pain of the heart quite well. Every time he was separated from Orihime his heart hurt, that must have been it. "Will it hurt Orihime's heart?" This question was the most important.
"…I don't think so, she doesn't seem the type to care about this sort of thing," Urahara stated. "I think she will be able to handle it in my opinion."
"Are you going to tell me or not?" Ulquiorra said, slamming his hand onto the desk as he finished speaking.
Urahara and Yoruichi jumped. Their faces wore a startled expression, not expecting Ulquiorra's more expressive side to show. Urahara exhaled slowly. "You know it's not that big of a deal, really. At least not in my opinion anyways if that counts."
Ulquiorra grabbed the file off of the desk and opened it, diving into a greater unknown than he had ever known before.
Aizen was not just a self-proclaimed genius. It was a simple fact that he was the most intelligent, most powerful being in the soul society. Of course, no one else could fully appreciate this or give Aizen any sense of understanding. The world was so…complicated, full of wonders no one could even come close to appreciating. It was full of people like mindless goldfish, swimming around in their little bowls unable to see the complex beauty of it all.
Of course it is only natural that a being as intelligent as Aizen himself would be the one to rule the world. To become a god, however, he would have to take many steps to get there. So he began experimenting on hollows, soul reapers, and even the Quincy.
Aizen wished to do something only in the domain of gods: create life. Kisuke Urahara, the only other being who could somewhat match Aizen's own intellect, had dabbled in this area of experimentation. Aizen would need an army, so perhaps he could create a hollow to his own personal liking. Perhaps even creating something above the realm of gods.
His experiments to create this perfect hollow ended in many failures. He stole energy, copied souls, and even experimented on the human souls in the outer districts of the Soul Society.
Finally, after many failed attempts, Aizen had created his prototype: a pure white hollow, created solely for the purpose of servitude to Aizen. To fully train this hollow for its purpose, Aizen found the most ancient, deepest, and devoid of light pit in Hueco Mundo and cast the hollow into it. The hollow was left to its own devices, without a mouth to feed, so it could only watch in despair as it could never do anything except live in isolation away from its peers.
Aizen then created a second hollow, a black hollow made from the power of over a dozen Soul Reaper captains. Aizen allowed this hollow to possess someone worthy of its power, watching over them and their growth over the span of their life.
"…this is…"
Ulquiorra looked over the notes again and again to make sure he was reading it correctly. "I'm…I was never…"
"You never were human," Urahara said. "Unlike all of the other arrancar and Vasto Lordes, you were never alive."
Ulquiorra blinked. "Somehow I am not surprised," he said. He felt a lump rising in the back of his throat and his eyes began to burn. Why do I feel so ill? It is just the truth…
"You were the prototype experiment for Aizen's most terrible creation," Yoruichi explained, placing a paw on the file which Ulquiorra had set back down. "An artificial hollow called White."
White? "Urahara, do you have a pen?" Ulquiorra grabbed a blank sheet of paper and begun to write something he had discovered at school. When he was finished, he held up the paper for the other two to see. "When you write the name of my sword, in Spanish it reads as the word bat, but written in kanji it reads 'great black winged demon'."
Urahara rubbed his chin and looked at the name Ulquiorra had written down. "Huh…Aizen sure likes ironic names."
"Where is White now?" Ulquiorra asked, although for some reason he felt he knew the answer.
"You've met him," Urahara said. "I believe he killed you."
Ulquiorra fell silent for a minute, allowing some of the pieces to fall together. "Does this mean…Ichigo is my brother?" The first thing that came to mind regarding connected individuals was Orihime and her brother Sora. Ulquiorra didn't mean to blurt out this question, but he was losing more control over himself as the conversation progressed.
"White is technically your brother of sorts," Urahara corrected him. "But since White has fully fused to Ichigo's zanpakto, then yes, I suppose it does make Ichigo your brother."
"I killed him once," Ulquiorra said bluntly.
"Yeah that's not something brothers should do I don't think." Urahara stretched his arms as he continued to speak. "But! You're learning."
Yoruichi sighed. "Now that you know, Kisuke needs something of you that only you could help with."
Ulquiorra, curious as to what that might be, listened closely.
"Think you can scare someone a bit for me?" Urahara said with an impish smile. "I've got a pretty stubborn guy I'm working with."
"Normally I do not appear this way in my inner world," Ulquiorra remarked, looking over his appearance in the reflection of one of Ichigo's inner world's many glass buildings. He looked like his normal arrancar self, which was beginning to look a little alien, if he was being completely honest. Disgusting. I've adjusted too much to being human.
"It's probably because in your inner world, the only sane part of you is the soul reaper half," Urahara explained. "I dont have to explain to you that hollows are instinctual creatures without a need for a soul reaper's inner world of communication."
Ulquiorra sighed. "I still can't release my sword. Will it be all right?"
"I'm sure it will be fine. I'm here with you if anything goes wrong," Urahara said. He started tapping on the glass with his cane. "Hello! Is anyone there? I've an urgent need to speak with you!"
Ulquiorra sensed familiar reiatsu. He felt his muscles tense. Fear…this is fear.
The infamous White appeared before them. He had a sour expression on his face. "How many times have I told you! I'm not--" He froze, his eyes widening at the sight of Ulquiorra.
Ulquiorra took this cue and drew his sword, one hand still in his pocket. Despite his chest thumping wildly with fear, he knew he had to keep up the façade in order for this plan to work. He lunged at White, and just barely did White manage to block the blow with his own sword.
"Th-the hell?! Aren't you dead?!" White screamed.
"Of course, I'm a Hollow aren't I?" Ulquiorra said, parrying another blow. His fear began to subside a bit, as White's reiatsu seemed a lot weaker from the first time they met.
"I turned you to dust!" White shouted. "Dust shouldn't be talking!"
Ulquiorra smirked. "I have a bit of a grudge against you for killing me."
"So what? You think I care?" White sneered.
"…and Kurosaki," Ulquiorra added. White's sword slipped a bit with this added dialogue, which gave Ulquiorra an opening to kick White in the stomach.
White reeled back. His face couldn't have been more pale than it was, but Ulquiorra had seen enough fear to know when it had struck someone. Just keep this up…just a little longer.
Ulquiorra removed his hand from his pocket. Keeping his straight-faced and cool composure took all of his willpower. Placing his second hand on his sword, he took a step back and lifted the blade, readying a strike.
White seemed to recall what happened the last time Ulquiorra pulled his second hand out of his pocket. "Ban…kai!" He shouted, pointing his oversized sword in front of him.
Ulquiorra gulped, but to his relief it was as Kisuke said: Ichigo currently had little to no power. The amount of reiatsu needed to power a bankai was tremendous, and something Ichigo currently did not possess.
"Give up now," Ulquiorra taunted. He used a sonido to flash behind White and kick him to the ground. He stepped on White's face, similar to what the hollow had done to him moments before his own death.
White squirmed, but could do nothing. "H-hey now…this isn't funny I was just playing around…"
Ulquiorra dug his heel into White's skull. This feeling…it was a euphoria of some kind. Ulquiorra had never experienced this before, a new emotion. He was deeply satisfied to be in control, to pay back White for what he did to him (and scaring Orihime, of course).
Ulquiorra leaned forwards, his voice quiet and dark. "Shall I fire a cero point blank? Or should I do things more slowly…" He lifted his sword and stabbed it into White's left arm. He could have cut it off, but pinning the hollow in agonizing pain was so much more satisfying.
White screeched an unholy sound that gave Ulquiorra chills. It was the same horrible screeching that he had heard moments before his death.
"I'm going to kill you," Ulquiorra said. "Ichigo too."
At the sound of Ichigo's name, White screamed again and writhed. Ulquiorra kneeled down onto White's back, pressing his knee up against the hollow's spine. He knew White was in agonizing pain, and his screams kept growing louder.
"Stop!"
Ulquiorra looked up as a flash of black appeared from one of the buildings. It was a boy, perhaps not older than Ichigo himself, wearing tattered black robes that matched his messy dark hair. He lunged for Ulquiorra with an outstretched hand. The arrancar yanked his sword out of White's arm in an attempt to block, but before he could he heard Urahara's voice.
"Hey now! Let's all calm down!" Urahara said, approaching the figure.
The boy stopped his attack on Ulquiorra and turned to Urahara. "…what are you doing here?" The boy demanded.
"I'm here to help you," Urahara said. "You're just really hard to find. You know…come to think of it…you can't bankai but you're in that form?"
The boy relaxed a bit. "Since Ichigo's loss of his soul reaper powers, I've gained most of what power he has left. It has caused an imbalance in Ichigo. I will return to my other state if that…thing is called upon again." He looked disgusted at the White on the ground, who was gripping onto his wounded arm.
"…you interested in restoring Ichigo's powers?" Urahara asked.
The boy sighed. "Originally I was glad that Ichigo had lost his powers. He no longer was targeted by hollows or was in danger. But because our connection is severed, I cannot see the outside world. I do not hear his voice. I cannot feel him, or know if he is all right. I…" Tears formed in the boy's eyes. "Please help me. Help us. We miss him." He fell weakly to his knees, his emotions unbearable.
Ulquiorra watched this display, then looked down at his own sword. Did Mercialago feel the same way about him that Ichigo's zanpakto felt about his wielder?
"I did what you asked, but I don't feel satisfied."
Ulquiorra was staring at the wall at Urahara's shop. Ultimately, his job was to intimidate White to lure out Tensa, Ichigo's other half of his powers (and the rational thinker). But since he felt that strange sense of revenge, he was confused.
He was confused about a lot of things. About his origins, about the fact that screaming creature (and by extension Ichigo) was technically his brother, and how now he probably had been letting down Mercialago for all those years. All his power…came from despair. Was it Ulquiorra's despair, or was it because his zanpakto was crying out to him in pain?
"Revenge is hardly satisfying," Urahara said distracted, as he was looking over a few components for his next build. Ulquiorra had been sitting in Urahara's workroom after the incident with Ichigo, late into the hours of the night.
Orihime had fallen asleep in Nel's room. She had been told that Ulquiorra was busy working with Urahara and that it was safer for her to stay there for the night. She was worried about Ulquiorra's health; "did he have dinner? Is he sleeping? He's always all over the place."
"Urahara," Ulquiorra said after a few minutes of silence.
"Hm?" Came Urahara's response.
"I wish I was human."
Urahara put down the gadget he was tinkering with, and a long sigh escaped his lips. He seemed to think for a moment, debating the right words to say. "Well…you're doing a lot better than some humans out there. You've got friends, a girlfriend who's clearly in love with you, and you have cool powers. Not a lot of guys can boast all three of those things, you know."
Ulquiorra sighed. "How do I know if anything I feel is real? If…if I never was a human soul to begin with. How do I know if…if I love…her…" The last words choked in the middle of his throat. What was this overwhelming sensation?
Urahara strode across the room and kneeled down next to the curled up Ulquiorra. "Everything you're feeling is valid. You're alive. None of us, be it human, soul reaper, don't really know how the 'right' way to feel is. The fact you're even questioning this means there's life in you somewhere and that should be validation enough."
Ulquiorra pondered these words for a moment, then stood up and left the room. He was on his way to Grimmjow's room to sleep (if the man was even in his room. He never slept much, and spent countless hours of the night training), when he encountered Orihime.
"Oh!" came Orihime's voice. She was dressed in a loose Tshirt and a pair of shorts, presumably belonging to Nel. "I didn't know you were up."
Ulquiorra wordlessly approached her and placed both of his hands on her upper arms, trialing them towards her shoulders. He wanted to rest his forehead on hers, but knew his hollow mask would probably poke her if he did. Curse this body…
"Ulqui? Are you okay?" Orihime whispered softly. "Can you not sleep either?"
Ulquiorra slid his hands to cup Orihime's face and pulled her close to him in a kiss. He needed to feel her close to him. She was something warm, something real. He felt so out of touch with reality, but Orihime made him feel like he existed--like he had the right to.
After what felt like an eternity, they gently broke away. "Orihime," said Ulquiorra softly. "How can you love me even though I'm not human?"
"We've been over this, silly," Orihime smiled, lacing her hand through his fingers as she always did. "It doesn't matter if you're human or not. I love you for your heart."
He already knew her answer. Hearing her voice confirm it was like pure bliss. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I love you," he said. "With…with all of my heart."
