After dessert, most of the tables got cleared away by the suspiciously unperturbed waiters, two of which came back in rolling a trolley with a tall three tiered cake on. Jenny stared at it in awe, having never seen the like. Each tier was white but had different coloured icing roses on each one. Purple, blue and green. On top were two small figures that looked a lot like her and Vastra. She didn't even want to know who'd made it, suspecting it was not someone local to London or indeed the era.
"Fit for royalty that cake is." She whispered to Vastra, as they were beckoned towards it.
"Indeed." Vastra stared in mild distaste.
Jenny's face fell. "Have you…d'you even like cake? We should've asked for something else."
"Cake is traditional." Vastra shrugged.
The Doctor strode towards them, holding something underneath his leather jacket. "Thought you could cut it with this." He grinned, and then threw back the cloth to reveal Vastra's sword. "Cleaned an' everything so the cake'll still be edible."
Vastra flashed her teeth in a grin as she drew it. Jenny hastily grabbed the figures from the top and shoved them in her pocket. "Together?" Vastra asked.
"Oi! Gently though. Not like the Commander's trousers." Jenny felt she could read Vastra's thoughts as she placed her hands over Vastra's.
"If you wish." Vastra shrugged artlessly and with deliberate slowness eased the sword through all three tiers of cake. Flashes went off as pictures were taken and Jenny hoped she'd get some of them at least. Not that she'd ever forget this day. It felt a bit of an anti-climax as the cake was wheeled away again to be cut up for the guests.
"What happens next?" Vastra asked, intrigued.
"Dunno. I ain't exactly bin to a lot of weddin's either." Jenny looked around. The lights were dimming, and a chandelier was lowered from the ceiling, spreading warm light. There was something attached to the bottom of it, a ball covered in what looked like tiny pieces of mirror. Jenny saw a hushed argument going on between Rose, Donna and the woman the Doctor had pointed out as being in charge of the reception. She looked back up to the ball as it started spinning.
"What on earth is that hideous thing?" Vastra stood at her side, staring up at it.
"Dunno my love. Strax seems to like it though." Jenny pointed to where the Sontaran was stood, staring mesmerised at the ball, leaning further and further back until he fell over. He didn't get up and considering that a calm Strax at their wedding was not something to be sniffed at, they left him to it. The black woman who'd accompanied the old Doctor had stepped onto the raised platform and pulled out the small rectangle she'd been holding up earlier, attaching some kind of wire to it which in turn was feeding into the large black boxes.
"Ah! Jenny. Vastra." The Doctor bounded up to them, his sandshoes still wildly out of place at wedding. "Allow me to introduce Sarah Jane Smith. She's in charge of the reception."
"Most of it." Sarah Jane side-eyed the Doctor and then continued glowering at the sparkling ball.
"The decorations definitely." He nodded.
"Except that." She pointed upwards. "The young people wanted it." she sighed.
"Ooh thanks for the compliment. Not every day I get called young." Donna grinned as she sidled over and pulled Jenny into a ginormous hug. "Married!" she squealed. "Wahey!"
"I'd better go supervise what Bill is doing with the music." Sarah Jane rolled her eyes and moved off.
"Who's Bill?" Jenny disentangled herself from Donna's hug. Donna took one look at Vastra and merely gave a big double thumbs up.
The Doctor shrugged. "Future companion? Half the people here seem to be from my future. Bit worrying acutally." He scratched the back of his head. "But I'd imagine Bill is the young woman who's on the DJ platform with Sarah Jane. Anyways! Congratulations!" He awkwardly hugged both of them at the same time.
"Ugh! Come on. They'll be wanting to dance the first dance." Donna dragged him off.
Jenny realised that it was just her and Vastra left in the middle of a large square of people.
"Uhh…" she groped for Vastra's hand. "Woss goin' on?"
"A dance I believe. Although mot like the dances we did." Vastra winked at her.
"I carnt dance!" Jenny protested.
"Nonsense. If even apes can do it, I'm sure we can." Vastra stood in front of her, holding Jenny's arm up in mid-air and placing her other hand at Vastra's waist.
"What d'we do?" Jenny panicked as sound started coming from the black boxes, beautiful but strange.
"Swaying, if all else fails, I believe." Vastra shrugged and took Jenny's hand in hers. "Follow my lead."
A voice started singing but Jenny was concentrating too much on not standing on Vastra's toes to listen to it at first. She caught the words "I see you" and liked that. Appropriate, as she'd always been able to see Vastra. Sometimes she lost sight of her, Jenny thought as she gazed into Vastra's eyes, and they didn't always see eye to eye, but she could always see her.
As their dancing turned into the predicted swaying, Jenny pressed a kiss to the v of green scales revealed now Vastra was no longer wearing her veil and leant against her wife. She would never get bored of calling Vastra that. Out of the corner of her eye, as the music faded and turned into a different song, Jenny saw the Doctor, sans his leather jacket for once, dancing with Rose on the dancefloor. They were looking a little lost in each other, Rose grinning broadly as she twirled.
"Lookin' good Doctor!" Jack whirled wildly past, dancing with Strax, no less. Donna was twisting and turning with the handsome black man who'd come with the strangely dressed woman. The strangely dressed woman in question was doing a series of very strange movements by herself, whilst the young brown woman laughed and clapped and cheered her on. The old man of the group was dancing with Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, who was stunningly unperturbed by any of the goings on. Clearly, Jenny and Vastra had been a bad influence.
Lights started flashing in time to the beat of the very strange but bouncy music being played. Oscar Wilde was dancing with George, or possibly George was just admiring the cut of his clothes as Oscar danced. Sarah Jane was dancing with the Doctor who was grinning like a loon at her. Bill had left the DJ platform in the care of the old gentleman she'd come with and was attempting to waltz with Martha.
Jenny decided now was a good time to take a break. If everyone else was busy dancing, they wouldn't be noticed. The suspicious servants were lounging at the edge of the chaos that the dance floor had become, holding champagne flutes on silver trays. Jenny took one, downing it one go before tugging her jacket off, undoing her tie and flinging them both over the back of a chair.
"I was looking forward to doing that." Vastra pouted, stopping Jenny from undoing her waistcoat buttons and doing it herself, swiftly moving onto the shirt buttons. Jenny shivered as Vastra's fingers deliberately brushed against her neck. Vastra grinned as she felt it and pressed a kiss where Jenny's neck met the shoulder.
"Think we got some more dancin' to do before we do that dance, my love." Jenny whispered.
Vastra pouted.
"We can't skip out on our own weddin'!" Jenny protested, grabbing Vastra's hand and pulling her back to the centre of the dancefloor. "Not yet at any rate." She grinned as a new song started. She liked the songs that were being chosen. "Will you 'old me tight an' not let go?"
"I was going to." Vastra was still pouting.
Jenny burst out laughing, that captivating laugh that Vastra loved so much. She pulled the young woman close, as Jenny had asked, echoing the song. She listened to the lyrics of the song herself. Very appropriate she thought, as Jenny tucked her head back against Vastra's chest. She heard the whispered "I'm dancin' on to your heartbeat" and felt her heart squeeze. She would never have considered it possible to love an ape this much but then again Jenny was so much more than an ape. Not that all the other…humans surrounding them were entirely worthless either, she thought, as she looked around the crowded room. Suddenly she frowned and stopped the dancing, causing Jenny to trip over her feet.
"An' I was doin' so well." Jenny lamented. "Why'd you stop for?"
"Strax has gone…" Vastra stared round, trying to see properly in the bright flashing lights. "And so has Mr Harkness."
Jenny looked concerned. "I hope he don't blow somethin' up. We are in the Queen's palace."
"I was thinking more it was an odd pairing." Vastra shrugged. She gave a suggestive grin in answer to Jenny's puzzled look. Jenny nearly choked as she got Vastra's drift, her face travelling from shock through mild horror to a startled acceptance.
"Well…" Jenny shook her head.
She never got to finish that sentence, as a composite sound of several deafening bangs filled the room with glittering and sparkling as small strands of something shiny reflected the pulsing lights.
"STRAX!" They bellowed in unison, but they were drowned out by everyone else cheering and laughing, waving their hands through the air, either trying to catch the stuff or move it about the room. White balloons, turning whatever colour hit them, were now cascading down from the ceiling, where they'd been held up by some invisible means that was now apparently gone.
The DJ stand went unattended as even the gentleman leapt down to join in the sudden balloon fight that had broken out among everyone. Loud pops indicated that several balloons had already fallen victim, but someone had foreseen this and there were plenty to go around. Strax was loving this form of combat and was battering anyone within melee range with the four he was holding, two in each hand, yelling wildly.
Jack Harkness finally reappeared, dragging a large trunk behind him. It was filled with similar balloons, only smaller. He hefted two in his hands, winked at Rose and then threw them both at the Doctor. Unprotected by his leather jacket, his shirt ended up soaked by what Jenny guessed was water.
"You'll have to change your shirt now Doctor!" Jack shouted gleefully at his stunned expression, immediately grabbing up two more and aiming them at Rose. She was quicker on the uptake and dodged them both with a small squeal, dashing over to the trunk whilst the Doctor glowered at Jack and tried to wring out his sopping shirt.
Jack grabbed a handful and then scarpered as the rest of the guests stampeded towards the trunk. He hurled one at Vastra who cut it in half with her short sword.
Jenny blinked water droplets out her eyes. "An' where the hell were you keepin' that ma'am?" she reverted to ma'am in her shock.
Vastra shrugged, looking completely unapologetic. "I thought we could use it to cut the cake. But the Doctor had already thought of it."
Jenny glared at her, but it was their wedding day and after a brief moment of being unimpressed, she conceded that it had been a memorable way to do it. They stood to one side, watching the drenched chaos that their reception had turned into. Strax had a particularly devastatingly accurate aim, which surprised them, until they remembered he was a Sontaran warrior.
Unfortunately, the other guests had devastatingly good reflexes, as Jenny observed when Strax lobbed a water balloon at Oscar Wilde, who stared at in horror until Jack tackled him out the way. They ended up in a heap on the floor and the water balloon ended up hitting one of the black boxes that had been blasting the music, causing it spark and spit small bursts of light. Several Doctors grabbed their coats and began throwing them over the flaming thing whilst Bill yanked the cables out the back. There were more bursts of light and flashes as people appeared to be taking photographs of the mayhem.
"And that, my dear, is our cue to leave." Vastra pulled Jenny through one of the doors the servers had used, leaving the pandemonium behind them.
(Faraday came up with helium balloons in like 1824, some dude called J. G Ingram started manufacturing them in 1847 so FUCK YEA JENNY AND VASTRA HAVE HELIUM BALLOON FIGHTS AT THEIR WEDDING)
