The first time Kakashi met his sensei's children, he almost tried to kill Minato's daughter.

Obito would have laughed.

He thought they were dead. He'd taken it for granted that the children had perished as Minat- the Yondaime battled the Kyuubi and gave up his life to seal it into a child. He'd never thought—no, he did not want to think—that the Yondaime would seal the monster into his own child.

(Of course he would. Only Minato-sensei would be noble enough not to ask any of his loyal villagers to give up their child in order to spare his own.)

He'd fled into ANBU, just as Jiraiya had fled into the country, barely staying for the funeral before they both ran with their personal demons nipping at their feet. He avoided every mention of his teacher, respectfully deflected every time Sarutobi-sama tried to breach the subject with him, and did his utter best to live for all who had died when all he wanted to do was join them in peace.

Then someone started a riot and the ANBU was set loose and Hokage-sama summoned him and his team, his face sad and apologetic, and asked him to protect two children with his life.

A girl with red hair, and a boy with blue eyes.

Only the weight of his mask and the presence of his team mates had stopped him from collapsing at the invisible sucker punch to his gut. He stood, frozen in place, as the Hokage debriefed him—them—of the circumstances surrounding the children. The S-class secret that had been broken by a gossip, a superstitious civilian and a panicking mob filled with grief.

The girl raised her head and looked at him.

Black markings bathed in red and chakra that burned like fire

He made an aborted movement towards a kunai. To the children's eyes his hand twitched. To the Hokage's eyes, his ninja all stiffened as they waited for Hound to launch himself at the girl that looked like the spawn of the devil who had slaughtered the only family he'd had left.

But she wasn't. They weren't. They were his sensei's children bearing their mother's burden and curse.

Hound nodded once. The room relaxed.


The safe house was meant to hold four people comfortably. And yet the room still felt impossibly small, with a couple of children, a teenager, and him.

Bear was a comforting presence in the roof above. Horse was merely a flicker amongst the trees as he ran patrol. Tiger was nearest to the children by the window, while Hound stayed as far away from them as possible without walking out the door. He didn't bother trying to convince himself that he was guarding the entrance. He could practically feel Tiger's puzzlement and concern wafting across the room.

The children were communicating silently in a corner, in a way that only children could. He could hear their muttering easily, as their eyes darted to and fro between their motionless companions. The boy in particular was almost shameless in his constant, nervous glancing. His sister nudged him, an unspoken language. The boy glanced at her, eyes wide, before outright staring at Tiger.

The silence was almost palpable.

Tiger fidgeted slightly. Unfortunately, there was no way to make masked men in black suits less intimidating to a three-year-old child. That was the point.

The girl nudged her brother again. The kid took one look at her before blurting out, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!"

"We're naming him after Jiraiya-sensei's book. Remember the Tale of the Gutsy Ninja?"

"His name is The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja?"

"No!"

"His name is going to be Naruto! And he's going to love, love, LOVE ramen, dattebane!"

"Oh no. Not another one, please. You drain my wallet enough as it is!"

"Shut up and just admit you're whipped, -ttebane."

"Wh-"

"She's got you there sensei."

"Kakashi!"

Naruto looked at his sister for reassurance at the lack of response. She put a hand on his shoulder, before patting down the skirt of a dress too big for her and facing poor, awkward Tiger.

"My name is Uzumaki Minako." She bowed. "Thank you for taking care of us."

" Mi-nato and Kushi-na's kid! Mi-na-ko!" Throaty, gleeful laughter. "And of course, there's still the kanji reading, ' beautiful child ', which she will totally be with Minato's girly face—"

"Hey—"

"—and then you can think of it as 'minna-ko', so everyone has to baby her—"

"At this rate, she's going to be spoiled rotten before she hits four."

"I think you're going to be the one who'll spoil her rotten, sensei. If Kushina-san has you whipped, Minako-chan will have you wrapped around her little finger."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I knew there was a reason I liked you, Kashi-chan!"

"...Aren't you supposed to be on my side Kakashi?"

"If you get her to stop calling me Kashi-chan then maybe I will be."

Remembered pain threatened to swallow him whole. Kakash- Hound frantically shoved it to the back of his mind, using every technique he knew to compartmentalize and focus on the present. It was the first time his Hound persona ever threatened to break.

Minato-sensei... Kushina-san...

He hadn't even spoken to the children and already he had failed them. He didn't need a file to see the lack of fat on their cheeks, the oversized clothes, and the way they stuck to each other. Where were they staying? Who was taking care of them?

Obito... What would you do?

"Naruto—"

Hound lowered his gaze. Two pairs of unnervingly similar blue eyes peered up at him. They were too close for him to ignore the whispered mutterings between them.

"So, wait, if he's Tora-san, then—"

"He's Inu-san, Naruto, just look at the mask—"

"Whaaat? But he looks nothing like—"

"Will you just—"

At least the children seemed to have recovered from their ordeal. What a mess.

"Ne, ne, Inu-jiji!"

...what.

He stared at the little fluff of yellow craning its neck up at him. Innocent blue eyes widened in the most devastating puppy eyes ever (he should know, he helped raise Pakkun) as little chubby arms rose in the children's universal sign of "up".

Tenzo stared.

He stared.

The boy stared.

"Naruto!" Minako gasped, utterly scandalized.

Obito would be having a fit.

With a resigned sigh, he reached down and pulled Naruto up, taking extreme pains not to accidentally poke him somewhere lethal. How do you even carry children anyway? Sure, he knew the anatomy of a human child, and more besides, but what if he hurt him? What if he cried?

Naruto giggled. He looked the exact opposite of ready-to-cry. His sister, meanwhile, looked like she'd just been slapped with a fish.

He held Naruto at arm's length, hands gripping him as loosely as possible around the ribs (why was he so thin) and gave him his best deadpan stare.

Never mind that he was wearing a mask or two, he was sure such stares could be sensed even with a barrier impeding the recipient's vision.

The brat only had the audacity to giggle more, and even waved his arms around in glee. "Look, Min'ko-chan, look! I'm flying!"

"Naruto, if you keep wriggling like that, he'll drop you," Minako said weakly, seemingly unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of her little brother flapping about in an ANBU's hands. Hound let out a little sigh, more of a huff, really—and then scents assaulted his nose, making his nostrils flare on instinct as he took it all in.

Naruto smelled like people-sweat and Konoha-dirt, with strong-detergent and child-piss layered over his natural scent. Kakashi inhaled, his mind automatically labelling it as pack and alpha's-pup.

He would never forget that scent for as long as he lived. Just as he would never forget the others of his small, broken pack.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He needed time to think, to get away, before he made it worse and hurt the children, just as he failed everyone he ever loved—

And then Naruto yanked on his hair.

"Naruto!" Minako looked like she was about to have a meltdown. Which, in retrospect, wasn't really surprising considering he knew at least twenty ways to kill her brother where he, er, hung, in various degrees of painfulness.

Naruto giggled. The brat. "Ne, ne, Inu-jiji, what's wrong with your hair? It's so weird!"

Obito wouldn't be having a fit, he'd be in absolute hysterics. And Kushina-san would be cackling proudly along with him. Tiger in the corner had actually turned around to try to keep his giggling in. Fuck him. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Why did the world hate him?

And no, his lips were not twitching under his mask. No. Way.

He pulled Naruto away from his hair, thankful that he didn't struggle overly much and possibly pull out a few precious strands. A soft shuffling noise by his feet caught his attention.

He looked down.

Minako looked up.

Her gaze looked... curious. Calculating. He felt his hackles rise slightly.

Then her big blue eyes widened. Her lower lip slowly jutted out. She raised her arms.

Oh hell no.

He very pointedly lowered Naruto to the floor, never breaking eye-contact with her because dammit, he was not a babysitter—!

"NO!" Naruto barked, smacking him on the head. "Up! Up!"

His eyelid twitched.

"Meeeeeeee," Minako whined, standing up on her toes in an effort to reach her brother.

He could hear Tenzo snorting under his breath. Goddammit.

Twin sets of blue quivered.

It took almost no effort at all to lift both kids to chest level.

The twins wasted no time in happily exploring their new perch, patting the strange vest and the cool mask and the springy hair. He stayed iron-stiff the whole time, only shifting when Naruto pawed at the edge of his mask. He growled, a low rumble in his throat, that made Naruto's eyes widen in fascination. He looked ready to try again, but then Minako smacked her brother's arm, and Naruto desisted with a little pout. Neither made any move to climb down.

Kakashi resigned himself to being a kiddy perch for the rest of the night.

Tenzo fell silent, but the amusement radiated off of him in waves. Kakashi shot him the chakra equivalent of a jab to the gut. To his credit, Tenzo barely flinched. He sheepishly (to ANBU eyes) glanced at his senpai, who irritably flashed him some hand signs with the few free fingers he had left. Get back to work.

Tiger obediently returned his attention to the window. Minako stared at the exchange, wide-eyed. Naruto giggled again, patting experimentally at different parts of his head.

Despite his expectations, it didn't take long for the children to quiet down, the adrenaline bleeding away and leaving exhaustion from their ordeal. Soon enough, Naruto was sprawled over his shoulder, snoring softly, his upper half hanging over Kakashi's back and a hand clutched loosely around a few strands of Kakashi's white hair. Minako, meanwhile, was curled against his chest, her hand fisted around a vest clasp as she snuffled softly into his shoulder.

Something inside him circled; once, twice, then settled. Every breath gave him the scents of the two children, of his pack, in his arms. His instincts would not see them as anything less. He bit back a growl of helpless frustration. For better or for worse, he was stuck.


The first time Kakashi visited them was two weeks after the Law of Silence had been passed. Guilt had driven him to cling to rules like rust on iron. Guilt had driven him to change from the perfect ninja into a living memorial. Guilt had driven him into ANBU. And so, guilt drove him now, towards the two children he hadn't bothered asking about on the night that his teacher... Their parents... The last remnants of his and their family…

He shook his brooding off like raindrops on fur and settled down in the tree outside the orphanage. The windows were dark, to match the darkness of the evening sky. He probably shouldn't have picked nighttime to visit them, but…

A short jump took him to the orphanage roof. From there he started methodically searching the windows, starting from the south side of the miniature compound heading north. Like he was scouting out a hit…

He shook his head.

The miniature compound was more like a ring of traditional, single-floor buildings with sloping slatted roofs and paper screen doors. The buildings surrounded a square patch of sand, dotted with tufts of grass and children's footprints. It was one of the few left over from the Kyuubi attack. Not surprising in hindsight, considering its close proximity to the Hokage mountain and east of where the bijuu-dama carved a ditch through the center of Konoha.

"M-mmama… P-Papa…"

He found Minako on the east side of the orphanage, curled up and sobbing into her pillow.

"Ai w-w-wantu g-go h-honn..." her small, frail body shook as she cried, mumbling unintelligibly as she tried to muffle the sobs that might wake the rest of the room.

Kakashi sat beside the small window, unable to do anything but watch his sensei's daughter cry. It would have been better if she wailed, he thought absently, feeling every sob and hiccup like a punch to the gut. He knew those kinds of sobs, the quiet ones filled with pain that you couldn't... refused to let others hear.

It was the sob of those who felt all alone in this small, cruel world.

(But he hadn't been alone, not then. And the only time he realized it was when he lost everything he had.)

A short scan showed Naruto sound asleep on the opposite side of the futon. The boy shifted in his sleep, frowning as he sniffled, then settled. Minako hiccupped as his chakra slid over her, her chakra fluctuating against his in a pattern of surprise and misery.

A simple hand sign, and her chakra slowed, then calmed, until her chest rose and fell in sleep. A little twist to his chakra sent her the image of her family—Naruto, sitting on their father's shoulders, yanking on his hair much like he had yanked on Kakashi's, while their mother laughed and cuddled Minako on her lap. Her breathing eased, and peace smoothed the creases on the little girl's face.

He checked on Naruto again and deemed him fine for the night. His chakra roiled like a bubbling stream, but the little he could see of his face showed it unmarred of sadness or worry.

That was good. He didn't think he could cast another genjutsu that night. He'd gone straight from training to patrol to the orphanage, and now Obito was berating him for it. He could feel the wetness spreading from under his hatai-ate down to his mask.

He turned, and shunshinned back to his home, ignoring the fact that his other eye was leaking too.


It wasn't hard to convince himself that there was nothing more he could do for the two. He was in ANBU. He couldn't take care of a pair of toddlers; he was barely even home. Besides, he wasn't even twenty yet! His father killed himself when he was seven. What did he know about child rearing?

At least he visited. Jiraiya, their godfather, hadn't even had the guts to do that. He'd wrangled a promise out of his sensei to take care of them, stayed for the funeral, and left like the Kyuubi itself was on his heels. Being on guard for information in Konoha's time of weakness, his ass. Grief made the strongest of men bend, and Jiraiya was no exception.

And yet despite all those arguments, he could not stop himself from thinking about the twins. He could last a month, or two, and then he'd find himself darting over to that window and searching for the children that brought so many memories he didn't want to remember.

More than once he'd arrived at the orphanage without the sight of any of the children to greet him. The first time that had happened, he'd, well, he'd panicked. He'd thrown out his chakra across the orphanage and instinctively fell into a crisscrossing diagonal search pattern, sniffing wildly and almost summoning his ninken pack before finding Naruto's chakra in a tiny closet. A little more searching revealed Minako in a similar situation on the other side of the compound. He didn't sigh in relief, but he did slump, feeling absolutely stupid and more than a little ridiculous.

He scanned their chakra for signs of pain or distress. Minako stank of terror, but there was nothing he could do without revealing his presence to her. Besides, she wasn't in any harm, right? After all, weren't children supposed to be afraid of the dark? Naruto was less fearful, though no less frantic. He attributed that to his separation from his sister.

Why were they in the closet? Had they been naughty? Kushina-san would be proud, was all he could think before he bolted back home, sheepish and embarrassed like a dog with his tail between his legs. Wonderful way to display professionalism, Kakashi. Really.

His instincts were driving him crazy. Pack was pack. The hound inside him did not appreciate his efforts to avoid the children at all costs.

Everyone who got near him only got hurt, he argued against himself, bitterly and repeatedly, every week he didn't smell the scent of child-sweat and healthy-pup and paced the length of his apartment, practically carving a path on the wooden floor. They didn't need him in their lives. They were perfectly fine on their own.

They would grow up in the orphanage, enter the Academy, and become the powerful ninja they were born to be. They didn't need Kakashi. And Kakashi didn't need more family to lose.


A/N:

edited: 01/14/2020

Kakashi, you angst ball.

Please note that Kakashi here is a biased or unreliable narrator, meaning he does not see everything, does not know how other characters feel or think regarding his reactions outside of his own guesses about that, and is restricted by his own misconceptions and own view in reality (ex. His repetitive denial and rejection of responsibility as well as wallowing in guilt). For my readers who are already studying literary criticism, this will be familiar to you. For my readers who aren't, welcome! Time to learn how to be skeptical of everything the narrator tells you (or anyone really, muhahahaha) because this is not the first time I will use an unreliable and/or limited narrator nor will it be the last. Trust no one. Look underneath the underneath. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Special thanks to FlameCatcher, for getting me out of my rut with their encouraging words and motivating me to move onward with my stories. Nothing I can do about my mistakes now, so might as well move onward, yeah?