Master of My Sea
I can't believe I got this chapter out after a week from the last one. I'm really excited for you to read chapter 22. It's bit on the longer side, but it's all one scene. I've also figured how I'm going to continue with the story, since before I had a general idea of what was going to happen, with key moments set in stone. I'll explain in detail at the end of the chapter, but now that I've figured everything out, it's giving me more motivation to write.
I also have an important note:
**PLEASE NO VIKING S6B SPOILERS IN THE REVIEWS/COMMENTS**
My Amazon Prime does not have the season out (and all viking seasons are behind a paywall as well), so I have to watch it weekly on History. I'm sure a lot of other people have to do the same. So please keep this fic spoiler free in the reviews. I've already encountered some spoilers so far and it made me uncharacteristically angry XD.
chapter twenty-one:
THE MISSING PIECE
Ivar's thoughts lingered over the conversation he had with Floki the day prior. He was sitting on a stool outside of the smithy while his brothers were working on adjustments on new gear in preparation for raids this summer. Ivar had yet to join them to sea, but alas his fear of the ocean, his inability to swim, and his doubts over his competence as a warrior and viking prevented him from joining them. That, and his overbearing mother.
His fingers were playing with the rune around his neck while his mind on this mysterious "Red Woman". He had heard rumours of a witch that lived in the forest, but it came off as an urban legend; a tale told to scare children to stay away from the forest at night. He did acutely remember his mother's reaction when someone casually brought up a witch in the forest in a conversation a while back. She answered with haste and conviction, and said it was just a crazy old woman that lived childless and alone. However, there was also a couple that claimed that a few years ago, the witch in the wood had given them advice on how to conceive, and as a result, they had a daughter. Ivar wondered if this was the same woman.
"Ivar," Ubbe snapped his fingers in front of his nose.
He blinked rapidly and looked over at his brother, "What?"
"Do you want to come or not?" Ubbe's eyebrows were at his hairline before they furrowed upon realizing that Ivar had not paid attention to anything that was said. This was confirmed when Ivar asked where.
"Hunting," he said. "We were planning to go up to the cabin to spend a few days hunting."
Ivar's mouth made a 'o' shape as he leaned back and rested his hands on his knees, "Yes, I will join you." He nodded.
"What has your mind hostage?" Ubbe asked.
"Perhaps he is fantasizing about Midsummer this year," Hvitserk piped from behind him. "It is the best time of year. All the women dancing around a giant pole… I don't blame him from getting lost in thought."
Ubbe slowly turned to his other brother with a deadpan look, "Is it him or you that is fantasizing about Midsummer?"
With the approach of spring, the holiday was soon approaching. It was a day of excitement for various reasons. For Hvitserk, it was the anticipation of sex, since single women during this time seemed to get more desperate during Midsummer. For Ubbe, though, after Midsummer the raids would begin. After spending a long winter at home, he was anxious for another adventure.
Turning back to Ivar, Ubbe repeated the same question, "What is on your mind, Ivar?"
Midsummer was far from his mind, that was for sure. He did not care to admit this, not even to himself, but he had not laid with a woman yet, and he knew that his brothers had multiple times over the last few years. There weren't any women that were willing to have sex with a cripple, even if he was a prince; even if he was a son of Ragnar. During the Midsummer activities, he tended to remain in the longhouse with his mother, and then retreat to bed earlier than most. He really did not like the holiday, for it reminded him how alone he was. How he could never be loved by a woman the way a man should be.
"I have been thinking about what I do not remember," Ivar replied, subconsciously moving his hand to his mouth to nibble the nail of his thumb.
Ubbe shared a look between Hvitserk and Sigurd, and then back to his youngest brother. "Why is that? There is not much to remember… All that happened, we already shared with you."
Ivar tilted his head up at him, a knowing smirk on his face, "I do not think that is true. I think all of you have been keeping things from me, because mother does not want me to know."
Hvitserk quirked an eyebrow at this, glancing at Ubbe with uncertainty. He leaned against a wooden pillar behind Ivar and crossed his arms, "What makes you say this?"
"When I left training yesterday, I crossed paths with a girl who claims to be a friend of my brothers," it was Ivar's turn to cross his arms. "She called herself Kára, and apparently I knew her."
The silence was tense and immediate. Ivar was keenly aware of the shared looks they gave each other and how their posture straightened. But, even more, the way Ubbe's eyes widened was always a give away.
He gave them one glance each before resting on Ubbe, "I did, didn't I?"
There was clear hesitation with Ubbe, but there wasn't with Sigurd. The blonde straightened up in the chair he sat on in the background, his voice pulling Ivar's attention immediately to him.
"Tell him already," Sigurd barked. "I'm tired of walking on eggs about this topic already."
Ubbe turned to to Sigurd with a look of disapproval, "Mother wouldn't want -"
At that, Sigurd stood up from his chair and walked over to them with a heavy foot. He stood in front of Ubbe as he spoke with intensity, "Mother has sheltered him long enough."
"What is it?" Ivar asked, hands on his knees, eyebrows knitted. He felt his veins pump with anxiety and anger that secrets were being held from him. His eyes darted between the three of them before landing on Sigurd.
The blonde started to speak much to Ubbe's chagrin.
"Kára Ulfsdóttir," he began, "She lived outside of the city with her mother. The two of you became annoyingly close and did everything together. She even trained with us."
Ivar frowned and his eyes were now looking at Ubbe, blue orbs filled with betrayal at the secrecy of what seemed like a significant detail about his missed time. He had no recollection of having any friends outside of his brothers. He had believed he lived his whole life completely alone; friendless and unliked. He always believed that his brothers merely tolerated him simply because they shared blood. If they had no ties with each other, they would have seen him like everyone else saw him: a cripple coddled by his mother.
"Why did you keep this from me?" He asked through gritted teeth.
Ubbe sighed heavily through his nose and sent a pointed glare at Sigurd, who simply carried his sour look. Ubbe returned his attention back to Ivar, and dropped his arms to his sides in defeat.
"We had promised mother we would not mention her… She said that the best thing for you is to pretend Kára did not exist."
"Why?"
"I do not know what happened. Hvitserk and I were in Paris, but…" He looked over at Sigurd, who chose this time to remain quiet. "From what we were told, she was the one who pushed you out of the tree, nearly killing you."
X X X
Bjorn had been lurking nearby as his brothers conversed. He had intended to join them, but their conversation made him slip into the shade and listen. He grit his jaw at Ubbe's words; how Kára was the one that pushed Ivar out of the tree. That was a lie fabricated by Aslaug, much like how she fabricated how Siggy died.
There was a time where he had respect for Aslaug; she was the daughter of the famed dragon slayer, Sigurd, and Brynhildr, the Valkyrie. In the end, she delivered what his father was promised by the gods, which was many sons. She was a different woman in the beginning, but somehow things changed. Perhaps Ivar had ripped out any light from her when he came into the world. Perhaps losing Ragnar's love made her bitter. Perhaps it was the mysterious Harbard that had enchanted her into a state of constant dissatisfaction. Whatever the case, Bjorn was not a fan of the woman; if he had a choice, he would have seized Kattegat as soon as his father left them. Though the love he had for his brothers was far too strong to do that to them, not to mention he knew that his mother had her eyes on Kattegat. However, there was his own selfish reasons: he was not ready to take the title of King, at least not yet. He still had a world to explore, and the map he had acquired from Paris still occupied his mind on most nights.
There were some heated words exchanged, and Bjorn watched with a firm frown as Ivar picked up his crutch and left them as fast as his weak legs would allow. Bjorn's eyes stayed glued on him while his ears remained on his three other younger brothers.
"You just had to open your big mouth, Sigurd," came Ubbe's reprimanding voice as he gave the boy a quick whip to the arm with the back of his hand. "If mother finds out about this, I will blame you."
Sigurd rolled his eyes, "It was about time that he knew, and you know it. Mother coddles him so much and acts as if he is still a child. So he acts like one. It is time that he grew up."
Bjorn folded his arms over his chest and remained silent in the shadows, listening to every word.
"Hvitserk?" The middle brother was awfully quiet, Ubbe had noticed.
At his name, Hvitserk looked up with his lips pursed in thought. "He was going to find out eventually, Ubbe," he reasoned. "And if what he said was true, and Kára is back… It is better that he knew before mother found out she has returned."
"She won't find out," Bjorn spoke, emerging from his hiding spot, startling his brothers with his sudden appearance.
"Bjorn," Ubbe spoke first, eyes wide. "How much did you -"
"Enough," he spoke, folding his hands at his front in an imposing form. "Aslaug will not know that Kára is back in Kattegat, nor will she find out that Ivar has met her."
"You knew she was here," Hvitserk's words came as a statement.
"I did. I was reunited with her in Hedeby. She is one of Lagertha's shieldmaidens," at this news, the three men's brows raised in surprise. Bjorn continued, "I told her to come back to Kattegat. It is her home."
"Mother exiled her," Sigurd stated matter-of-factly with his arms firmly crossed against his chest. "It is no longer her home."
Bjorn snapped, "She had no authority to exile her. Father would not have, and had he stayed he would have retracted that order immediately."
"Father is not here, Bjorn," Ubbe spoke, his voice low but steady. "He may never come back. Aslaug is Queen of Kattegat."
"A title she only holds by marriage, " Bjorn shot back. "Ragnar is not dead yet. And before you ask, I know this because Kára is the last person to see him."
This news was collectively seen with shock and intrigue. No one from Kattegat - that they knew of - heard anything from Ragnar. Not a whisper, not a rumour, not a sighting. Some believed he walked towards his death. Some believed that he killed himself. Others believed he simply went by another name, and assumed a new identity all together. What was certain was that Ragnar abandoned Kattegat, and abandoned his family in the process. The respect for Ragnar Lothbrok was nearly lost if not lost all together.
Ubbe stepped forward, "Kára knows where he is?"
"Not anymore. But she and her mother are the reason why he is still alive. That is why I know Ragnar would not approve of what Aslaug has done. Kára belongs in Kattegat, and I think we all agree that Ivar has become considerably less tolerable ever since she left."
There were no words exchanged, but the side glances they shared spoke volumes. It was true, Ivar seemed to change when he met Kára. But ever since he lost his memory, his entitlement seemed to shoot up to the skies. They couldn't understand why, even if it was staring them right in the face. Kára is what pushed Ivar to be a better person. Now, though, they could see the complete opposite happening. Their love for their youngest brother was still true, but for Sigurd, and even Hvitserk, he was a lost cause. Ubbe felt differently. He still saw the good in Ivar when no one else did.
"How do we keep mother from knowing Kára is here?" Hvitserk questioned. "There aren't a lot of young red-headed women here -"
"Did your rounds, have you?" Sigurd interrupted.
Hvitserk merely shot him a look, then gave an impish smirk.
"I'll take care of that," Bjorn responded. "All you have to do is make sure that her name is not mentioned around Aslaug."
"For how long? Until Ivar grows grey hair and looks like a dried up cranberry?" Sigurd asks, his tone betraying his obvious disapproval of putting any effort in making Ivar happy. "We cannot carry this plan forever, Bjorn."
"Sigurd is right," Ubbe agreed, eyes darting from him and back to Bjorn. "Just like Ivar, Aslaug will find out eventually."
Bjorn nodded, "And when that happens, it will no longer be her problem."
Ubbe's head tilted his head at his brother, but said nothing.
X X X
Ivar wasn't paying attention to where he was going, or how long he had been retreating from Kattegat. His mind was muddled with all this new information. He couldn't help himself from looking back to all the odd moments and slips that were made around him. The distinct glares from Aslaug to one of his brothers. Hushed conversations that stopped when approached. He knew that it was about him and it infuriated that he didn't know. But now he did.
He wasn't sure who he was mad at more: His brothers for lying, his mother for shielding him from yet another thing, or the bitch who pushed him out of the tree and caused him to lose his memory. He felt a surge of vengeance go through him… He would not have been in this situation hadn't it been for her.
Ivar began breathing heavily through his flared nostrils. His movements became quicker and more forceful as he continued moving through the trees with no direction. Was that why she was following him the other day? Did she intend to kill him the first time and wanted to finish the job? Or was she someone who took joy in watching him suffer? A bully from his past that he had forgotten, and that is why his mother shielded him from it, and rightfully so.
He sharply stopped, eyes glaring into nothing in particular. If that were the case, did Ivar really want to remember the memories he lost? Did he want to know who Kára was, and what she did to him to warrant his mother making everyone hide things from him? Yes, yes he did. He was a child at the time, and he may have not been able to defend himself then, even from a girl, but he was a man now. He would take his revenge against this Kára… For everything she put him through. For every headache, for every nightmare, for every faint spell, for every second he was lost in the fog of forgotten memories.
Ivar grit his jaw and lifted his head to take a sharp turn around to head back to Kattegat, but he immediately paused when he caught something in the shadows amongst the trees. Against the dark green canvas was a cloaked figure. A red cloaked figure.
The muscles in his face relaxed as he watched the stranger. Tall, willowy, and face obscured by the shadow of their hood. Something burned on his chest, and he instinctively moved his fingers to the rune around his neck.
"She is known as the Red Woman, and she is not far from here."
Floki's words came to mind. Ivar's jaw went slack as he straightened his neck, never allowing his eyes to stray from the cloaked figure. It suddenly moved, turning their head to the side, exposing a distinct profile. The little moonlight that peaked through the foliage betrayed the pale feminine nose and lips, but he saw nothing else.
It's her...
The Red Woman began to walk away, making no noise, and appearing to float above the forest ground.
"Wait!" Ivar clenched onto his crutches and started to walk towards her. He sped up as she disappeared behind a tree, and once he caught up to it, he saw that she was now farther away, this time looking at him from a great distance.
"Are you the witch in the wood?!" Ivar called out, but received no answer. He continued to follow her, and just when he felt he could reach her on time, she started to walk away again. This time, he could see the ends of her red robes filter through the tree trunks. He feverishly followed them, desperate to not lose sight of her.
Floki had given him general directions of where the Red Woman was. He spoke of a house that was hidden under a grassy mound, and a door with three cats carved into it. Based on the directions Floki had given him, it seemed to be close by, but he felt that he should have passed by it at least once over the last few years. He had no idea of this place, but according to the Boatswain, he had been there before.
He went on following the cloaked woman for some time. It felt like a while, but it could've been just a few short moments. Eventually, the trees started to thin out, and he could smell the scent of a hearth nearby. When he looked around to the sky, he saw the trail of smoke coming from a source just a short distance away. Ivar looked back in front of him, and startled when he saw the cloaked woman facing him less than ten feet away. Her eyes were shadowed, but he could see the mature features of her nose and mouth, and the curtains of red hair that blended in with her garb. He watched as her arm lifted, the bell sleeve of her robe reaching the ground, and a small pale hand poked out of the end. A slender finger pointed in the direction of the origin of the hearthfire. Ivar looked at her with knitted brows before moving his gaze to the direction she was pointing at. He could just barely make out the orange glow of light. When he turned back to her with his mouth open to ask a question, she was gone.
He turned back towards the direction that she pointed, and hesitated. His eyes fixated on the orange glow in the distance, which was briefly obscured by a shadow that passed by it. Gritting his teeth, Ivar adjusted the crutch under his arm and went towards it. It wasn't that far away; just a few moments of weaving between trees and he found himself in a clearing. Dusk settled down in the forest, casting the area in a blue hue. The orange glow coming from the open window contrasted against the atmosphere, making it impossible to miss.
There it was; the house exactly as Floki described. The roof is covered in grass, making the house appear almost hidden in the earth. He could just make out the door, but could barely see the engravings on it from this distance and this low light. The light inside showed that someone was living in it - the witch? If it was the witch, then who was the woman in the red robes that led him here?
Ivar stepped closer and froze when he heard a huff. There was a horse, he realized, shuffling around in a small make-shift pen. He looked at Ivar lazily while he chewed on grass that was ripped from the low part of the roof. Ivar kept his eyes on the animal as he crept closer to the house, expecting the horse to react to him. It didn't for the most part, but when Ivar got within arms reach of the door, it neighed loudly.
Almost instantly, the door swung open and he was staring at the point of an arrow. He froze, but then allowed his eyes to focus on the silhouette of the wielder until he recognized the features. The amber light from inside highlighted her nose and the whites of her eyes, while the blue of the night shadowed her brow and dimmed the vibrance of her hair to a point where it almost looked purple at first glance.
Now he knew why he was led here. The Red Woman handed her to him on a silver platter.
"You!" He barked as he whipped out his long dagger and pointed at her.
Kára responded by lowering her bow and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, face filled with confusion. She wasn't expecting him. She was expecting someone to stumble upon the house eventually, like a raider or a scavenger. To be quite honest, she wasn't sure when she would see Ivar again after encountering him in the forest the other day. She thought, if she could gather up the courage, she would seek him out herself. But now he was at her doorstep, with the hearth fire reflected in his wildly blue eyes, pointing a dagger at her and looking particularly angry.
"Now look who is doing the stalking-" she commented, not knowing what else to say from the absurd manner he decided to visit. Alas, he cut her off, and his words further caught her off guard.
"I am here for revenge," he spoke firmly, eyes unblinking.
Odin, he's gone mad, hasn't he? Kára couldn't help but think, since she was unsure of what to say. She still held her bow, but the arrow fell loose in her fingers. If it were possible, her brows furrowed deeper at him.
"You're the one who shot me-"
"You know why I am here," he interrupted her again. "You are the reason why I cannot remember anything."
That made her mouth drop, her brow to relax, and the bow to drop to her side. The softening of her features told Ivar everything he needed to know: confirmation. Guilt. He was right… His brothers were right.
Ivar took advantage of the reaction, and he lurched forward, pointing the dagger at the contour between her neck and jaw. He looked down at her like an angry viper, nose hovering over her as she stood frozen under his height. How did such a small girl get the best of him all those years ago?
"Ivar-"
"Shut. Up," he breathed, twisted the tip of his knife against her skin. He could feel the bob of her throat as she swallowed. "I lost my memory. You can't imagine what that feels like... Having a whole era of your life simply… gone."
Kára pursed her lips as she felt her nose tingle and her eyes sting. Do not cry! She internally yelled at herself. She spent years controlling her weakest emotions in the face of danger such as this. But he was pulling on all the right strings and he had no idea. The guilt never went away. The scar was always there, but now it felt like a fresh wound that he was digging into with the very dagger he pressed against her throat.
"You will pay for pushing me out of that tree, Kára..."
Her mouth opened at his words, her face now went from guilt to confusion, or a rare combination of the two. With little room she was able to give herself with a knife to her throat, Kára shook her head.
"I did not push you, Ivar," her voice was small. She was still trying to swallow down the pit in her throat that threatened to push all her emotion to the surface.
"Don't lie to me!" He barked louder, causing the horse to pace and huff irritably in the background. "Ubbe told me everything."
"He was not even there-!" She protested, but was interrupted when the tip of the knife dug into her sensitive flesh, piercing the surface. She swallowed as she felt the warm trail of blood quickly fall down the curve of her neck. "Ivar! Please. We were in the tree together… You wanted to see what it felt like to be- The branch fell, and-and you hit your head on a rock. I wouldn-would never push you."
Ivar regarded her silently, his eyes never wavering its intenseness. The gloss of his eyes reflected the flickering fireplace behind her, but she was close enough to see how human he was beyond the anger.
When he didn't respond, she quickly added, "You were my only friend."
This was sort of an in-between chapter, so it is a bit on the short side. Though, it's worth it because next chapter is longer and it was probably my favourite chapter to write in terms of Kara and Ivar scenes, haha.
So I just wanted to let you guys know where I'm gonna go with this story, in terms of format and length, etc. Originally this was going to be one long fic, spanning through all the seasons, but I've decided against that for a simple reason, and that reason is that the tone of the story greatly shifts after a certain point. So, I intend to end this fic at a earlier time, but follow it with a sequel that will take place directly after where this one ends. It's simply a new era of their lives and deserves its own summary and title, which I've already figured out.
However, one thing I will say that I will be taking some time between the end of this chapter and the beginning of the sequel, as sort of a break. It will give me an opportunity to format the sequel properly, as well as work on other things I've wanted to do that aren't Vikings related. But don't fret, this series isnt ending any time soon. I still have a lot of put into it, but in my POV, I can see the end now, and it gives me better idea of how many chapters this story will have (which I wont share XD - it's a surprise)
One last thing - I've used a model to cast as Kara, but she has very few pictures. I eventually found an actress I like, and I will eventually be converting most of Kara's pictures to her. Eleanor Tomlinson will be my headcanon cast for Kara, and I'll be using her a lot as of now, but youre free to see her as anyone else you wish. But those of you who are visual readers, that's who I'll be using. I will eventually be making a new book cover, because I've never been fully satisfied with the one I made in the first place.
Other than a a new board in the Pinterest for gifs (non spoilery), there isn't any other news!
Happy Reading, and stay safe!
