Author Notes - I think I get how I wanna do the boss fights now. I'll attempt to retain the basics of the fight while adding my own stuff to it. Since a lot of the bosses have 'phases' (the portrait-guarding ghosts and the Twisted Sisters especially), I'll likely cut it down to just one phase and do something else.
Amadeus Wolfgeist, for example, may be my favourite boss fight in the game but his final stage involves repeating the same thing three times. Fun as hell in-game, not so much in a story. Speaking of repetition, certain parts of the game that are a little bit repetitive (like the multiple stores in the Hotel Shops) might be culled or skimmed over.
And remember when I said something about Luigi and Polterpup and the Star Wars droids? Okay, let me correct that: Luigi in general will be drawing inspiration from C-3PO. By the way, can you tell who my favourite Star Wars character is? INB4 the story turns into a Star Wars parody.
On another note, this is potentially my favourite chapter title of the whole story.
Thanks to Almond-Walnut and Coolkidwriter97 for the favourites/follows!
UPDATE 15/02/21 - So many freaking typos... most of them gone now! Oh, and less paragraph breaks and other minor changes.
CHAPTER SIX - SHOP TILL YOU DROP DEAD
'Uh, professor, when did you-?'
'No time for questions sonny! Just step into that marked area, both of you.'
Somehow, in the span it took them to get through the door, E. Gadd had managed to set up a... thing involving a pulley system. A cage hung from the ceiling over the aforementioned marked rectangle, and the cables that ran from it and across the ceiling connected it to a spinning wheel. The cage made Luigi gulp while Daisy questioned its existence, but they followed E. Gadd's instructions and stood in the yellow square, while Polterpup watched from the sidelines.
'Now what?' Luigi asked.
E. Gadd held a remote that he pulled out from nowhere, pressed the big red button on it...
*CRASH*
And the cage slammed into the ground, trapping our duo within it. The crashing sound echoed throughout the entire carpark.
'Whoa!' Daisy cried. 'What the-?!'
Luigi yelped. One second, he was free. The next, steel bars surrounded him on every side. He ran to one of the sides and squeezed as much of his face as he could through the bars, giving a pleading look to E. Gadd on the other side. The professor just laughed at him.
'W-W-Why? B-But I-I-I-I...'
'Heh heh heh!' E. Gadd said, rubbing his hands together like a thief. 'I've caught you both in my trap!'
Luigi held onto the bars with his shaking hands, seconds away from breaking down. Daisy ran her fingers through his hair that stuck out from under his cap - a technique that would never fail - and glared at the laughing professor.
'Ya know, I'd be laughing with you,' She said. 'If you didn't drag Luigi through this too.'
Polterpup stood behind E. Gadd, growling at him with all of his teeth bared. Any moment now and he'd make an exception to that 'never bite friends' rule.
E. Gadd just laughed again, but this time more playfully than maliciously. 'Oh, don't worry, Luigi! I'm just kidding!'
Luigi sighed in relief, and mostly forgave him. Polterpup stopped growling and, waiting to make sure the professor wasn't going to do anything else, backed away, but the dirty look remained.
'But I am going to need you to stay locked up.'
'What?! Why?' Luigi and Daisy exclaimed at once.
E. Gadd laughed once again. 'Because I want you to use Gooigi to see if you can escape from your cell!'
Daisy peered very closely at the goop, so close that her nose touched the glass. Up that close, she saw the swirly and pulsating patterns inside. As stupid as this 'Gooigi' was, it looked pretty cool.
'Um, so...' She said. 'Do we lather ourselves with the stuff and squeeze through, or...?'
'Of course not!' E. Gadd said, before he looked dead at Luigi. 'Okay, what I'm about to say will sound weird, but I want you to pay full attention.'
Luigi, along for the ride at this point, nodded.
'Alright. I want you to imagine that you are that goo in your Poltergust.'
Both the entrapped heroes blinked at him in total confusion. Daisy leaned forward and whispered in Luigi's ear.
'I'll distract him while you run.'
'Run? Run where? We're in a cage.'
'Luigi, I am serious.' E. Gadd said in an appropriately serious tone. 'Imagine that you are Gooigi.'
With a sigh, Luigi closed his eyes and 'imagined that he was Gooigi', wondering what he was on about. He focused on that vat on his back, and tried his hardest to imagine he was the goo. Every nerve in his body winced, just a bit. Somehow, he felt as though he was trapped further, crushed inwards by glass walls that surrounded him. Yet, at the same time, he felt no more trapped than he was before. A bizarre sensation to be sure.
'Feeling cramped, sonny?' E. Gadd asked.
Luigi nodded, his eyes shut tight.
'There you go! We're making progress faster than I ever would've expected. Okay, now relax your mind and try to push yourself out of your glass container. Believe me, this process will be much smoother after the first time.'
Daisy grunted, and shook the bars that contained her, the lights on the gloves glowing an extra bit brighter. 'GAH! This is ridiculous! How are we supposed to stop Ms Gravely and King Boo if you won't-?!'
E. Gadd held his hands up. 'Now now. I can assure you, there is a method to my madness. Just wait.'
The princess groaned, and decided to give the professor one more chance before she busted through the bars herself. Luigi imagined himself squeezing his body out of the tiny hole at the bottom of the glass box he felt himself trapped init. Then, by some miracle, it worked. He could feel himself falling out through the hole, and popping out onto the floor.
'AHHHH!' Daisy screamed. 'Oh! Oh. You're just asleep. O-Okay.'
His eyes were wide open - though he was sure he had them closed - and saw his princess standing in front of him. Except, just one little thing was off - why was absolutely everything green all of a sudden? His entire body felt jiggly, like jelly. And where did... literally all of his body's systems go?
Daisy's eyes widened. 'AAAHHHHH! Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH! What the Minus World is that?!'
Her panicked breathing got far more heavy than it ever had before. Luigi couldn't move his arm in any way than he wanted to, aside from grabbing his flashlight. He had so many things he wanted to say. Tell her not to be scared. Ask her what she was so terrified of. Say that she has no reason to be freaking out.
'Daisy?' His voice came out higher-pitched and like it came through a water-logged speaker.
Huh? That's it? I... why was that all that came out? He reached out to comfort her... Wait, was that his arm, that translucent green appendage in front of him?
He looked closer at his jelly hand. 'Huh?'
Daisy, pinning herself against the wall of the cage, pointed behind him. 'T-Turn around.'
His body obeyed this particular order, and upon turning around he saw himself. Like he was looking directly into a green-filtered mirror. Except his body hung his head and arms like he was asleep while standing up.
Oh my gosh? What? Huh?! How am I...? But I... why is...? Thoughts raced through his mind like nothing. And all that came out of it was a simple:
'Oh.'
Daisy stepped around the gummy-bear Luigi that stood in front of her, and looked to E. Gadd again. He seemed a little too proud of this.
'I-I see I underestimated your creation.' She said. 'Now, do you care to explain WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!'
'I'll gladly explain, princess!' E. Gadd said, pacing around. 'Luigi transferred most of his consciousness over to his personal assistant, Gooigi!'
'Excuse me?!'
Luigi, in the body of Gooigi, tapped the arm of his unconscious body. It felt as if he were a ghost, looking at his deceased body.
'It's part of the brilliant Poltergust G-00!'
'Uh... okay? Can he return to his normal body?'
'What do you take me for? Since anyone inside Gooigi is incapable of expressing anything beyond blank stares and statements no matter how extreme the outside stimuli is, being stuck in his body would be a detriment! But we'll get to that later.'
Luigi couldn't quite believe it. Gooigi's body felt like his own, only gooier. It moved to his mind naturally, like he wasn't in an entirely different vessel while looking in horror at his own mostly-unconscious body.
'Gooigi can slip through tight spaces, like grates or vents. His body is incredibly soft and malleable. It's really quite amazing! Go out! See for yourself!'
The plumber held his arm out and pushed it through one of the metal bars. Though it took a bit of might, it managed to pass through. The bar tore a hole through the gooey material, but the arm reformed quicker than his eyes could see.
'Huh.'
Finally getting it, he pressed his entire body against the bars. After a few seconds of forcing himself through, his gooey body got past without a problem.
'Cool.'
E. Gadd clapped. 'Oh Luigi, you are such a fast learner! Now, just use your Poltergust on this wheel, and you and Daisy shall be freed.'
Luigi grabbed his gelatin vacuum, and to his relief it functioned exactly like the real one; he didn't want to even begin to question how. Air flowed from the nozzle, and spun the wheel. As it rotated, it pulled on the rope and slowly lifted up the cage.
Daisy ran out from under the rising cage with a smile. 'You did it Luigi! Whatever it was you did!' She turned to E. Gadd. 'So how does he get back in his body?'
'I was just about to explain that. Now Luigi, while still using the Poltergust, imagine going back to your own body.'
Luigi did as he was instructed, and unlike his experiences with getting into Gooigi this transfer happened without a sweat. His head rose back up again, and he could see Gooigi still using his Poltergust on the wheel.
'As you can see,' E. Gadd continued to explain. 'If you're using the Poltergust when you switch between yourselves, you will continue to use it without being controlled!'
Luigi walked up to his gooey counterpart, and tapped its shoulder. It was just like poking a gummy bear. He leaned in and sniffed the green skin.
'Coffee?'
The rope above him continued to move, until the wheel couldn't be turned any further. It dislodged some dust in the ceiling, which promptly fell onto Luigi and scattered into a cloud. The particles made his nose sting.
'Gah! ... Ah...'
E. Gadd pressed another, smaller button on his remote. This caused the cage to compact into a much tinier and completely solid box to collect later.
'Wow.' Daisy said. 'That was... not at all what I was expecting.'
The sting got worse. 'Ahhh...'
'I consider it one of my greatest inventions!' E. Gadd declared. 'And considering my track record, that's really saying something.'
Luigi really struggled to fight this one. 'AHHH...!'
'Of course, Gooigi is not without his weaknesses.' The professor said with some regret. 'Weaknesses that I nearly died trying to solve. And I mean that. One of his most prominent weaknesses is-'
'AHHH-CHOOO!'
Luigi's sneeze finally tore its way through his throat. Spittle flew out of his mouth at high speeds and splashed onto Gooigi. The moment the spray of saliva made contact with his green skin, Gooigi dissolved and sunk into a green puddle on the ground.
'AH!' Luigi yelped, so scared at what just happened that he didn't notice the goo returning to his Poltergust.
'Oh my gosh!' Daisy cried.
E. Gadd, upon witnessing this accidental murder, just laughed. Because he's a freaking sociopath, I swear.
'So Luigi, do you know what just happened?'
The green-clad plumber stared at where Gooigi had stood. 'Um... I-I sneezed and killed him?'
'Not quite. You see it, Daisy?'
Daisy noticed what he meant almost immediately. The Poltergust was filled with goo once again.
'As I was trying to explain, Gooigi's greatest weakness is that contact with water - or saliva in this case - makes his molecules... um, it's complicated, but the goo scatters and loses its form. Afterwards, it returns right to the Poltergust G-00 to be used again. I tried to fix it, but... after goo hardens over your face you have to learn that some things are just impossible.'
Indeed. Even though he had witnessed Gooigi's 'death', he could still feel him in the back of the Poltergust. Part of his consciousness was still connected to him.
'And that's your training done!' E. Gadd said, looking at an imaginary watch. 'I must say, you learned far quicker than I expected. Regardless, we've wasted too much time. So... get going!'
He pushed Luigi out the door, quite literally. After all, we've spent enough time here and we gotta move on. Now. Daisy ran after him, and after E. Gadd got the professional ghostbuster through the door, he turned to her with a grin.
'And don't think I didn't notice my Phantasma-Gloves.'
'Oh, so that's what these are called! You mean the gloves that let me touch ghosts and disintegrate them into nothing?'
She marvelled at their bizarre green shine once again. The very sight of those bad boys on her hands made her feel like an action hero.
'The exact ones! Just one thing you got wrong there. It's impossible to completely destroy a ghost, hence why my usual method captures them instead. After you slam them into the ground enough times, their molecules break apart and reform somewhere else. The good thing is, once a ghost reforms it's unlikely they'll want to mess with you again.'
'Niiice!'
'Indeed.'
...
'Well? What are you doing? Go after your boyfriend, posthaste!'
Daisy leaned up against the elevator wall and groaned. 'If we're going to the shops, let's make this quick. I hate shopping...'
Luigi gave her a look. She didn't love shopping, but she certainly didn't hate it either. Going to the mall with Peach was one of her favourite pastimes. He didn't bother asking what that was about; he doubt he'd understand anyway. He tapped his fingers together, struggling to deal with the fears in his head.
'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.
The question made him jump. He breathed in and out slowly, and put his full attention on her, debating the best possible way to go about this.
'Um, Daisy... are you sure you wanna join me? It could be dangerous.'
He mentally facepalmed. It sounded so condescending! He made it seem like he didn't have any faith in her, like he thought she was nothing more than a damsel in distress.
'Sorry.' He said, before she could say anything.
To his surprise, she giggled. 'For what? Being worried about my safety? I get it. I've been free for, what? Ten minutes? I'd be worried too! But I won't be jumping into any portraits again. Promise.'
She placed her hand over her heart. The buttons blinked in order, like the Phantasma-Gloves detected her pure heart telling the truth.
'And if I'm lying,' She continued. 'May Lady Rosalina strike me down with a falling star!'
Luigi chuckled, relieved that for once his poor choice of words didn't destroy a relationship.
'Okay Officer Kruller,' Charles's voice came over the walkie talkie on the officer's belt. 'If you see that green guy, lock him up immediately. Got it?'
The titular Officer Kruller, an overweight purple ghost wearing police uniform, ignored the order coming through to him as he paced around the top floor of the hotel shops. He had a flashlight in his hand, and he strutted (without legs, impressively enough) with confidence.
'Officer Kruller?' Charles's voice came again.
Kruller hummed a little tune to himself, blissfully unaware of the guy trying to talk to him.
'Oh for goodness... PAUL!'
'AHH!'
He yelped and flinched. His flashlight bounced around in his hands until he managed to get his grip on it again.
'Uh, um, I...' He cleared his throat, and spoke much more boldly. 'Officer Kruller, hearin' you loud an' clear, over!'
Charles sighed. 'Just look out for the stupid green guy. Got it?' Just quietly enough so the cop couldn't hear, he muttered, 'Ya bloody moron...'
Kruller shone his flashlight across the entire top floor. Leaning over the guard rails, he took a quick glance across the bottom floor too.
'Everythin's clear on my side. Over!'
These elevator rides were something else. No matter what, they always stretched the boundary between too long and too short. And Luigi really didn't like it. Simultaneously too early and too late, the doors opened up to the new floor. Luigi stood up against the wall, and peeked his head past it while darting his flashlight back and forth. His breathing relaxed; no ghosts to be seen. Yet.
'O-Okay.' He said. 'We're safe.'
He exited the shaft very, very slowly. Daisy rolled her eyes, and passed him by the time he took his first step. Polterpup, on the other hand, stood by his side no matter how long it took him to move.
Daisy sighed in exasperation. 'Oh come on, Luigi. What're you so scared of?'
'O-Oh, nothing at all.' He gulped. 'Just a bunch of angry ghosts who want to hand me over to their boss. Nothing at all!'
She scoffed. 'No need to be scared when I'm around!'
For some reason, that didn't make him feel any better. Fortunately, his flashlight wasn't necessary due to the ceiling light illuminating the entire elevator hall. To their left were a couple of bathrooms which weren't needed quite yet, and to the right was an revolving door that led to the actual shops.
'Well?' Daisy said, flexing her gloves. 'Let's get going! We oughta find something here. Maybe another elevator button!'
Without waiting for him, she headed for the revolving door. He picked himself up and went after her.
'I don't like revolving doors...' He muttered. 'They make me dizzy.'
Daisy smirked as she reached for the door. 'Really now? They're not that-'
She promptly got caught up in the spinning vortex of terror - I mean, doors - and was pinned in-between the glass walls as they brought her into the mechanical cyclone.
'WHOA-HO-HO!'
After a few seconds, the entire world seemed to blend together with itself. It got fast enough to launch her from the spinning, and throw her face first into the floor. Stars floated around her head.
'You know smoke!' She blurted out. 'When you see smoke, her pennies pinch back!'
She shook her head, and got over her dizziness. Now that the world had stopped spinning, she got a good look at the shopping centre. Aside from the usual feeling of dread associated with sneaking into the mall after it closed, it seemed a little nicer compared to the rest of the hotel. There were two shops on the first floor, and another two on the second. Each had a card symbol associated with it, and all were locked behind steel bars.
'Oh thank goodness, the shops are closed.'
A pair of escalators led from the bottom floor to the top and back again. Gardens decorated the edges of both floors; the only part that really piqued her interest.
'Hey Luigi!' She called. 'You co-?'
The revolving door behind her went spinning like crazy again.
'WAHH!' Luigi cried as he was launched out of the tornado.
'OOF!' Daisy exclaimed as he landed on top of her.
'Owie...'
And suddenly the both of them had the feeling that everyone was doomed. Polterpup waltzed on through the solid door like it was nothing.
Daisy got back onto her feet, making Luigi slide off her to the floor in the process. 'And people say we have nothing in common.' She said with a grin.
A slightly dizzy Luigi lifted himself off the ground, and laughed to himself. His laughter ended quickly, as something caught his attention. He noticed Officer Kruller marching across the top floor. His eyes fell upon a glowing light on his belt.
'Do do do, searchin' for dat green bud...' Kruller sang to himself, his jiggling keys providing the background music. 'Bah ba bah, gonna show 'em I ain't no dud...'
Luigi gasped, and grabbed Daisy's wrist. 'Hide!'
He pinned himself and her against the wall. Polterpup yelped and joined them.
'What did you-?' Daisy asked, whispering.
'A gh-ghost.' Luigi said, as quietly as possible. 'And he's got a button.'
'Aw, sweet. Who's it this time?'
'Cop.'
'Ah. Could be difficult...'
Kruller continued to sing his surprisingly-well-rhymed improvised song, totally ignorant of our hiding heroes.
'Badda bum ba, hope I'm not down on my luck. Badda do dah, cos den I'd be totally-'
A small bump came from down the hall that led to his office.
'AHH!'
He nearly dropped his flashlight from the shock. If he had a heart, it'd be beating like nothing at that moment.
'H-Hello? W-Who's there? Come out wit' your h-hands up!'
With his flashlight in hand like it was a gun, he leaned up against the wall, shining his light down the hall.
'I-I warn youse... I have a gun! ... S-Somewhere.'
He readjusted his sunglasses and sucked his (very shaky) breath in.
'A-Alright. We have a possible 4-5-9 in the Hotel Shops. Over.'
He gulped, and floated down the hall with both arms shaking. Nothing could be seen except for the vending machine at the end; the perfect place for a criminal to hide.
'Uh... I-I might need back-up. 10-75, 10-75! Over!'
Shaking more than jelly in an earthquake, he arrived at the vending machine. The bump came again, making his entire body flinch.
'A-Anything youse say or do will be used against youse! Maybe?'
A mouse stuck its head out of the vending machine. In spite of the anti-climax, it seemed to be rather pleased with itself.
'Huh?'
He stared at the smug mouse for a little while, until it grew bored and rushed into a mouse hole in the wall. The scene went still as Kruller let what happened sink in.
'Oh thank goodness...' He muttered, wiping the sweat off his brow (wait, can ghosts sweat?).
Certain that the 'threat' was gone, he put on his courageous façade once again. With the determined frown and clenched fists, it was a dang good act.
'False alarm. Da intruder was nothin' more than a simple rodent. Fortunately I was dere to handle da situation. Now, uh... I will return to ma office.' He paused. 'Call anyone else to handle anymore problems. Over.'
He sprung into the red door to his office head-first, pushing to get himself and his, er, girth through. A key dropped out of his pocket and clinked on the floor. The clinking sound echoed throughout the otherwise silent shops. Our heroes heard it, and it made Daisy smile.
'Awesome! Sounds like he dropped something.' She said. 'If we're lucky, that was the elevator button and we can get out of here already.'
Luigi frowned. 'Knowing my luck, I doubt it.'
'Don't be so pessimistic. It's possible!'
He still doubted it.
With the coast clear, the duo and their doggy assistant left their hiding spot and ran up the unmoving escalators. As soon as Luigi reached the top, he stopped and looked back to them. It wasn't the fact that they weren't moving that unsettled him; it was their very presence themselves. The simple idea of them being there at all sent shivers through his spine.
Daisy ran past a little black table and a stack of chairs by the time she realised that he wasn't following. 'Uh, Luigi, what's the hold-up?'
He was silent for a few seconds. 'There are escalators here.'
She blinked a couple times. 'Um... your point being? You scared of escalators now?'
'No, I-' He shot her a look. 'No. I mean... they're ghosts. They can float. Why do they need escalators?'
Daisy was about ready to point out the silliness in his words, but found herself unable to. The implications of his point sunk in, and suddenly she shared his apprehensive look.
'I-I think this hotel used to belong to someone alive.' He said. 'And if not... why did they build things they don't need?'
'Uh... maybe it was for us? Or... wait, did you notice that there were way more suitcases than ours in that basement?'
He gulped. Thinking back on it, it just unnerved him further.
'Y-Yeah?'
'Maybe those suitcases were owned by ghosts but... you don't think that we weren't the first one to fall for this trap, do you?'
Luigi was about to mention that he had already thought about that, until Polterpup helpfully interrupted the conversation with a happy yip. He was already down the hallway, sniffing at the shiny object on the floor.
'Nice one, Polterpup!' Daisy said before running after him.
'W-Wait for me!' Luigi cried as he followed her.
To his disappointment (not that his expectations were high to begin with), the object was not the elevator button, but instead a key. A weirdly shaped key to boot. He didn't know many keys that had a crimson diamond at the end of it. Regardless, Daisy yanked the key and looked at it with twinkling eyes.
'Ha! That cop's just left the key to his office right here for us to take!' She said, twirling it around her finger. 'And I doubt he'll be that hard to take on.'
The door to Kruller's office had a lock on it, and as Daisy went to put the key in Luigi couldn't help staring at it. Like the diamond-shaped key, this lock was an oddity on its own: it was yellow and shaped like a star. Just from the looks, he had a feeling the key wouldn't work. A red diamond to a yellow star seemed like a poor match-up. Sure enough, when Daisy tried to turn the key, it did nothing. She twisted it around haphazardly, growling to herself.
'Oh come on!' She yelled. 'Why won't this stupid key work?!'
She let go of it just so she could pull on her hair, as a way to vent frustration before she broke either the key or Luigi's face. He grabbed the key, and held it up so the diamond was right next to the star lock.
'See the shapes? They're not the same.' He said. 'We'll need a star-shaped key for this.'
Daisy put her chin in her hand. 'Ah. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. How did I not notice that? You got great attention to detail, ya know that?'
He glanced at her. Something about the wording confused him. Her second sentence implied that she couldn't believe she didn't notice an obvious detail, yet her third complimented him for noticing it. Was it a feat or not? Or had she assumed that he couldn't notice even a simple detail like that? That last thought was unlikely coming from her, but still a possibility.
'Maybe one of those shops needs this key.' She said, like he wasn't having a minor mental battle. 'It's a lead. Let's go!'
He ignored his mental battle, believing it to be nothing, and followed after her and his dog back into the main room, holding the diamond key.
'Okay,' Daisy said, rubbing her gloved-hands together. 'There's four shops. The key has to fit one of them.'
Luigi's attention fell on the shop - a gift shop judging by the sign of a present - they stood in front of. His eyes drifted to the symbols at its entrance. He recognised them as spades from a deck of cards. He held the key up, aligning the symbols next to each other. Unsurprisingly, the diamond didn't match up with the spades.
'Hey Luigi!' Daisy called. 'I think I found something!'
She looked up at the symbols of the other shop on the second floor, on the other side of the escalators. The big diamond on the sign identified it as the jewellery store. Fittingly, the symbols on the entrance were diamond-shaped. Luigi ran over to her, and held the key up to check; it was a perfect match.
'Found it!' He said, smiling.
Daisy fist-bumped the air. 'Progress! Sweet, sweet progress! Now where's the lock?'
The cheer of progress faded away quickly when they realised that the bars blocking the entrance had absolutely no lock attached. Daisy ran her hands across the bars as she and Luigi searched for a lock that wasn't there. Even Dark-Lighting the gate accomplished nothing.
'Maybe the key isn't for the gate?' Luigi suggested, doubting the possibility at the same time he raised it.
'Then what would it be for?' Daisy asked. 'It's a key. This is a gate. Hello!'
A moving white object caught his eye. Polterpup bounced around, next to the cash register. Somehow, among all the pretty jewellery on display, it was the register that interested him the most. It had a lock on it, shaped like a red diamond.
'Polterpup thinks it's for the register.' He said. 'What do you think?'
'Oh, with that diamond shape for a lock, absolutely. But how are you gonna get in?'
Luigi shook the bars, finding that they were as solid as a rock. The gaps between them taunted him, being just wide enough that neither him or Daisy could fit through no matter how well lubricated they were.
Wait a minute...
'Oh!' He yelled a little out of nowhere. 'Gooigi!'
Daisy snapped her fingers. 'Dang it. I was just about to say that.'
Luigi threw the big key on the floor, and imagined himself as the goo in his Poltergust. Upon feeling that cramped sensation, he pushed himself out of the container, and reformed as his gooey counterpart.
Daisy flinched. 'I am never getting used to that...'
Luigi, now in the body of Gooigi, picked the key up again and stored it in his torso. The red glow could be easily seen through the translucent green skin. He squeezed through the bars like they were nothing more but spiderwebs, and luckily the key followed him through. He turned back around to Daisy and his unconscious body. She made the ultimate 'please do not shoot me' smile. Between her plumber's limp body and the gummy-Weegee staring back at her with those dead eyes, she hated it on every level.
She laughed nervously. 'Please go unlock the register now. Please.'
He nodded, and made his way over to the register in the back corner. Now walking in the Gooigi body for real, he noticed how squishy his steps were. They left behind a tiny puddle of goo that dissolved into the air before returning to his body. Polterpup took this moment to lick his owner's jelly legs. The taste of coffee made him wince.
Pulling the key out of his stomach - an action that would've made him scream if Gooigi were capable of it - he put it in the keyhole. It turned with ease, and the tray launched open. Instead of the money he had been expecting, another key flew out and fell on the floor. This key had its own symbol, a pink heart. Still not the right one, but he knew one of the stores had hearts on it.
'Wha...?' Daisy questioned from the sidelines. 'The cop put a key in the-?! Never mind.'
'Gooigi' stared at the key for a couple seconds, giving plenty of time for a Goob to emerge from behind the register with a smirk on his blue face. Polterpup yelped and jumped into a bow, growling.
'Uh, Luigi? Gooigi? There's a ghost right there!'
She spoke as if Gooigi didn't notice the ghost right next to him. He stood perfectly still, not even bothering to turn his head. The fear swelling up in his mind failed to incarnate through the gooey exterior.
'Boo!' The Goob yelled, his arms in the air.
Still, Gooigi did nothing.
How am I this terrified yet Gooigi doesn't move?!
The Goob frowned, and put his hands on his hips. 'What? Was my scare not good enough for you?'
Once again, the gummy human didn't respond in anyway, as if refusing to dignify him with a response.
'Um, hello? Anyone in there?'
He peered closely at the face. There was definitely no emotion behind those green soulless eyes. He poked Gooigi's nose a couple times, convinced he was talking to a malleable statue.
Hey!
The Goob pouted. 'They told me you were really jumpy. Where's the fun if you don't scream?'
His empty eyes fell upon the shiny key on the floor. With a shrug, he picked it up. He ran his fingers across its golden body.
'I suppose this is good enough. Not that ghosts really need keys. Maybe I can sell it for money.'
Gooigi wanted to yell at him to give it back, but nothing came out. Polterpup snarled, leapt off the floor and, just like how he did it in Evershade Valley, snatched the key away and held it in his mouth.
'Hey!' The Goob yelled. 'I stole that key first!'
Before he could swing a fist at the ghostly dog, Gooigi flashed him in the eyes. How the Strobulb still worked was a question Gooigi did not care about. Without a sweat, if he even could sweat, the man made of goo got a grip on the Goob.
'You're not jumpy at all! THEY LIED TO ME!'
Though the ghost tried to shake him off, Gooigi did not let go no matter how much he was dragged around. His gelatin feet scraped against the carpet, slowly being sanded-down. They'd vanish into nothing if the goo didn't return to him a second later.
'THEY'RE ALL LIARS!'
Gooigi did not feel like dealing with this guy for any longer, and so slammed him all around indiscriminately.
*SMASH*
Destroying one of the glass cases in the process. Glass shards scattered everywhere. If he was in his regular body, he'd be covered in cuts, but they passed through Gooigi harmlessly. With the ghost gone, Gooigi could stare at his destruction without interruption. Some of the jewellery, that now lay on the floor, survived, but the rest of it had been broken into at least two separate pieces.
'Oops.' He said. 'Sorry.'
'Forget about that!' Daisy said. 'You got the key. So get outta there!'
Gooigi gave her a thumbs up, his only real mean of communication. He concentrated not on getting back into his fleshy body, but instead transporting himself back into the container. Like before, he imagined his very essence returning to where it was once. His body broke apart into green droplets. Normally he'd scream his head off, but it just felt natural. He lifted his head up, and the green filter over everything vanished. The container on his Poltergust refilled.
The weirdest part about jumping between the two bodies was how it wasn't weird at all.
'Oh thank Grambi, you're back.' Daisy said, sighing in relief. 'So where's the key?'
'It's right...'
It took him a second to realise that he didn't have the key on him. His gloves were totally empty.
'Uh oh.'
He glanced through the bars again. Polterpup walked towards him, key in mouth, with a proud smile on his snout. Phasing through the wall, he dropped the key in front of his owner while wagging his tail.
Luigi knelt down to stroke his head and pick up the key. 'Thanks boy!'
If the shape was any indication, it was still not the key to Kruller's office.
He groaned. 'You wanna bet we'll have to check all the shops before we find the key?'
'There's a chance we'll find the right key before then. But don't tell me the odds.'
Following the shape led them to the store in the southeast corner of the shops, on the bottom floor. The purple dress on the sign indicated it was a clothes shop. Upon seeing this, Daisy sighed.
'Alright, let's get this one out of the way.' She said, rubbing her temples.
There it was again. Luigi still didn't understand this sudden hatred for shopping.
'Why are you acting like that?' He asked.
Daisy glanced at him. 'Acting like what?'
'You-you, um...'
His cheeks flared up. Asking questions already took some might. Having to re-explain himself took even more energy.
'I, uh, don't remember you hating shopping. Why do you hate it now?'
She opened her mouth like a professor about to explain a 'simple' mathematics formula, before she struggled to answer.
'Um... I got a reputation to uphold. You know how it is.'
Luigi gave her an incredulous look. 'N-No. I don't. Y-You know there's nothing wrong with being a girl who likes-'
'O-KAY, we've talked enough! Get in there, Gooigi!' She yelled, pushing him towards the gate.
Accepting that he'd never understand her change in attitude, he 'activated' Gooigi and slipped through the bars, Polterpup following him in. The shop had several outfits, mostly dresses, on display. He liked the look of a lot of them, certainly more than Daisy would. She'd look good in them; she looked good in everything. An orange dress with deep blue accents especially stood out to him.
The cash register, this one marked with a pink heart, rested at the back left corner. Gooigi put the key in, and with a quick turn the tray opened up. The key inside it, this one with a blue spades symbol at the end, didn't launch out this time.
'Now grab that key so we can move on already!' Daisy yelled, as if he wouldn't do it anyway.
Gooigi reached for the key, but then it rose up into the air, slowly and still. He went to grab it, but it swung out of his reach. A visible blue aura emanated off the key, a similar aura to those of the Goobs.
Wait, can I see ghost auras like this?
If he knew more about Gooigi's creation originating from ghost energy, he'd be less surprised. He got his Strobulb ready for the ghost to materialise. What he wasn't expecting was the Goob in question to be smaller than his head. She held the key up over her body, like it was the sword in the stone itself.
'Ooh, pwetty key! I want da pwetty key!'
Her voice would've made his hair stand on end if he had any at that moment. Her voice was far too childlike. She sounded no older than five. It gave him horrifying thoughts that he'd rather not have.
'Get the key off her, Luigi!' Daisy ordered.
Gooigi wanted to gently and carefully coax her into giving him the key, but with how limited his speaking capabilities were he had no chance of being anything but direct.
'Give me the key.'
The Mini-Goob hugged the key like it was a teddy bear. 'No! Da pwetty key is mine! If you want da pwetty key, you gotta take it from me and my fwiends!'
Daisy scoffed. 'You and what friends?'
Polterpup shuddered, picking up the vibe of many, many more ghosts. Right on cue, more Mini-Goobs emerged from the floor. There had to be about ten of them, surrounding Luigi on all sides.
'Uh... forget I said anything!' Daisy said.
Thanks for the help... Though, he couldn't blame her too much. It wasn't like she could do anything at that moment.
'Look at the liddle puppy!'
'Da key is for us!'
The swarm of Mini-Goobs was getting closer, each of them expressing their own unique form of gleeful aggression. Gooigi winced.
I... I don't wanna capture them. They're just little bambine...
The first Mini-Goob waved the key in front of him, smirking. 'I know you want da pwetty key. But you can't haff it!'
He sighed. If only Gooigi could close his eyes, so he didn't have to look at them. He unleashed the charged-up flash, the light consuming at least a third of them. The Poltergust only had to be used for a moment for them to disappear into it. The cries they let out only made him feel worse. Any fearful sound of a young one in danger - whether they be human, Goomba, ghost, or anything living thing - awoke the worst kinds of fears within him.
Don't think about it, Weegee. Just worry about the key...
The first Mini-Goob shrieked. 'Your vacuum cweaner is so scawy! Dat's unfair! You're a gween meanie!'
One of the tiny ghosts behind him swung around like a ballerina and hit the back of his neck.
'Ow!'
The pain faded away quickly, like the goo absorbed it. Gooigi spun around and dealt with more of them, getting rid of a large chuck of them for every round. He flashed a fifth time, only to find that they had all disappeared into his Poltergust. The clubs key rested on the floor, the ghost aura gone.
He held his flashlight close to his chest. I hope those little bambine are okay...
'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.
Gooigi handed the key to Polterpup. 'They were kids.'
Even if he could say more, he didn't want to. Daisy's heart sank.
'Well, we got the key. That's all that matters.'
Sighing in agreement, Gooigi gave his unconscious body a thumbs-up and returned to his glass home. Polterpup carried the key out and gave it to the re-awakened Luigi. He stared at the key with regret. He could only hope he wouldn't have to capture any more child ghosts.
'Still no star.' He said, putting that behind him. 'We're never getting that button back.'
Daisy pat his back with perhaps a little too much force. 'And you're never saving Mario with that defeatist attitude!'
He sighed, and gave her the strongest smile he could. 'Yeah. I wanna save big bro.'
GOOIGI, THE GOOEY ASSISTANT
Gooigi was created purely by accident when E. Gadd spilled some coffee into a beaker of ghost energy. It highly resembles an all-green gummy bear Luigi, and even has its own functioning Poltergust to boot. Alas, it is very weak to water (or other liquids, such as spittle). Thanks to a sensor in the Poltergust G-00, anyone who wears it will be able to transfer their consciousness into it.
Author Notes - Kruller was always a favourite of mine. He was on-screen for two seconds and I fell in proverbial love. But I worried over writing his dialogue, as you got his entire personality without it. I like what I ended up doing. And yes, his first name being 'Paul' is a reference to exactly what you think it is, though in this context it's meant to be a fandom nod more than anything.
So what's with the Phantasma-Gloves? I just liked the idea of something that lets you grab ghosts, and it was perfect for Daisy. They give her a unique niche over Luigi and Gooigi, and most importantly she's not dead weight. As you'll find, they do more than just let her touch ghosts.
The 'lost his keys for a month' scene (which, yes, is a MKT joke) was originally meant to be played purely for a joke. But trust me to make it dramatic. See the Mini-Goobs for more evidence of that.
And, uh, quick warning. The next chapter is gonna be pretty darn long. The longest so far, in fact. (Update from Future Me: The longest chapter of them all, actually!)
'Come on, Weegee! Why can't you see how amazing you are?'
Luigi sat on his bed, staring at his hands, while his brother paced in front of him. It had been a couple days since he saved Mario from that mansion he supposedly won. Mario was still recovering from the shock of it, but he couldn't understand how Luigi was taking the situation.
'You saved me from King Boo!' Mario yelled, slowly losing his mind. 'I couldn't do a thing to stop him... How don't you get this?'
Luigi sighed. 'It was just the Poltergust. If you had it, you'd be fine.'
Mario groaned. It always came back to the Poltergust.
'You know me, bro. I probably would've turned it down anyway. The Poltergust doesn't matter. You do.'
To Mario, it was frustrating trying to get through his brother's veil and tell him that he was truly great. To Luigi, he couldn't understand why his brother was even trying.
'I'm no hero...' He muttered.
'For goodness sake, yes you are!' Mario cried.
Luigi lifted his legs onto his bed and turned away from him. The wall covered in souvenirs of their adventures seemed more comforting.
'What kind of hero gets scared?' He asked. 'I was terrified of everything. The ghosts, the dark, the lightning, the mice... you never get scared. Unlike me.'
Mario sighed again, this time more solemnly. 'Who said I never got scared?'
That got Luigi to look back at him with teary eyes. Mario's serious expression told him that he meant it.
'B-But... y-you n-never-'
'When I was trapped in that portrait, I was terrified. Before I saw you trying to save me, I thought I was a goner. I never felt so helpless in my life. The thought of being unable to escape still haunts me now. And it always will.'
Luigi stammered, trying to piece any meaningful sentence together. Try as he might, he couldn't deny his brother's words.
'W-Well, you weren't the hero then.'
Mario growled, his fists clenching. Just barely keeping his anger under control, he sat down on his own bed.
'Please, listen to me. Whenever I go out on an adventure by myself, I always have to deal with a crippling fear that could easily stop me if I let it.'
'Which is?' Luigi asked, not entirely convinced.
'That one day, I'll return home and find you... dead.'
Luigi gasped. He didn't know how to comprehend it. Tears trickled down his cheeks.
'W-Why?'
'Why? Do you need to ask why? You're my whole world, Weegee! If I lost you, I wouldn't be able to carry on. I know you can take care of yourself, but sometimes...'
Mario choked. It made Luigi feel even worse; now he made his brother cry.
'I don't know how you do it, Weegee. I have to forget my fears, or they'll cripple me. But you... you faced your fears head-on, no matter how terrified you were. I may not be scared of what's in my way, but you push on no matter what. That, Luigi, is true courage.'
It was the sad truth that no amount of reassurance could suddenly fix Luigi's fears and insecurities. That was just the reality of the matter. But when those reassuring words came from Mario, they seemed so much more meaningful.
Yet, at the same time, his own fears seemed minuscule and pathetic compared to Mario's.
