Author Notes - I swear, if the revelation at the very end of the last chapter gets me accusations of 'not portraying it correctly', I will break something.

As for why I decided to do it... why not? After all, it's an issue I deeply care about for obvious reasons. This was just meant to be a different interpretation of Luigi's character. It's not necessarily a headcanon, but after reading other Mario fanfics where they (likely unintentionally) imply this, I thought it'd be a neat idea for this story.

It will be referenced throughout the entire story, but not in a way that overtakes Luigi's character or the narrative. I'm trying to spread the message that it's just a part of who he is, after all. Also, I've already done it and it's too late for me to back out now.

ANYWAY, the Mezzanine! Interesting in that you fight the boss at around the halfway point instead of the end. And poor Chef Soulfflé doesn't get a whole lotta screen time because of it.

Thanks to BabyWeegee07 and TrimusicaDrag00n90 for the favourites, and TheGameNguyener for the follow!

Also 1TGN's 2F chapter title 'Hellen's Kitchen' is so much better than mine.

UPDATE 1/04/21 - Less typos, less paragraph breaks, and other minor changes

CHAPTER EIGHT - PUTTING HIM TO REST-AURANT

'Whoop!'

The elevator button to the second floor flew out of Luigi's hand and into place. He got up close and personal with the button now in its correct spot, and peered at it.

'Why do they do that?' He asked.

Daisy shrugged. 'You really gonna question how a haunted hotel works?'

'Maybe the buttons are returning home?'

She chuckled to herself. His innocence and oddball comments never failed to make her soul glow. Even the lights on her gloves beamed alongside her.

'Maybe we should make like those buttons,' She said. 'And find our friends so we can return home.'

He nodded. 'Y-Yeah. Good idea.'


Quite frankly, Luigi saw the button for floor two to be a little redundant. One could easily walk up and down the stairs in the grand lobby, after all. At least the basement was a bit of a pain to get to if you took the stairs. As he stepped out the doors and glanced around, he hoped deep in his heart that he'd see the lobby in its sparkly gold glory. He prayed that the welcoming light of day had returned and the nightmare had ended.

Yet, as he saw the lobby no different than before, he was not too disappointed at all. Honestly, he doubted that life would be that fair to him. Daisy leaned on the guard rails, looking over the room like she was on the edge of a cruise ship. She had a small smile on her face, as if wanting to jump into the pretend water.

'I still think this place looks pretty cool.' She said. 'Well, not so much after they tried to kill us.'

'ARF!'

Both mortals turned to the excitable ghost dog, who had his nose in the air and was sniffing about. His tail wagged as he picked up a great variety of scents, just about all of them delicious. He scampered towards the yummy aromas, running around the corner, and jumped through a door at the end of the path.

'Wait boy!' Luigi said, running after him. 'Where are you going?'

He just barely saw Polterpup phase through the door. It seemed a little familiar to him, and he quickly realised why - it was the same door he had passed by after he had rescued E. Gadd. It even still had all those cleaning supplies in front of it, all stacked on a rickety cart.

'I, uh, haven't actually explored past this door.' He explained to Daisy. 'So we might find another button on the other side.'

'That just gives us more incentive to check it out!' She said, aiming the Poltergust at the supplies for him. 'Plunger it already!'

Luigi wasn't quite sure what made her jump straight to 'plunger', but he did notice the flat surface of the side of the cart. He fired without needing to aim - Daisy did it already - and the plunger stuck onto that flat surface without a problem, a surefire sign that it would work.

He got the rope into his Poltergust, and turned to his fair maiden. 'You should step back.'

Daisy nodded, and stepped to the side. Luigi hoisted that cart over his head, and the moment it slammed into the ground it shattered completely.

He cringed as the debris settled. 'It doesn't feel right, destroying all their stuff like this.'

Daisy scoffed. 'What? After they kidnapped your brother? They should be thankful you haven't bombed this entire freaking hotel yet!'

He pushed the door open, gulping. Having no idea what lay beyond filled him with dread. For all he knew, he'd open up to a lamb being sacrificed, or the walls suddenly closing in until it squished them both into putty.

Which is why he couldn't be more relieved to see nothing more than a regular, surprisingly well-lit hallway. The red rug that stretched all the way from one end to the other had beautiful golden accents, and was clearly washed often. The walls were well-painted with hardly any chipping, and the lights functioned perfectly. It looked like something straight out of a real, non-haunted hotel. And thank Grambi for that. Aside from the wanted posters on the wall. They served to remind Luigi that he was still a victim of a trap.

Daisy stepped through the door and marvelled at the sight. 'Ooh. Wow! Is this even the same hotel?' She then noticed the posters. 'Oh, right. Of course.'

Grumbling to herself something about the ghosts 'treating Luigi like a bounty', she ripped one off from the wall, crumbled it into a ball and tossed it onto the floor. Luigi stared at it for a few moments, and sucked it up into his vacuum; no way his neat freak nature could deal with that.

Polterpup had already made it down most of the hallway, roughly where it branched off to the bathrooms. He stood by what appeared to be a knocked-over food cart, investigating all the spilled food. More specifically, he sniffed at a big chunk of cheese that Luigi could smell all the way from the entrance. He personally disliked the aroma, but to each his own; he preferred provolone himself.

'Yip yip!'

Polterpup snatched the piece of cheese up into his jaw, and ran off with it like anyone was going to take it from him. Dietary rules do not apply to ghosts.

Luigi, who had found himself staring at a loose thread in the carpet, noticed his pet going off without him. 'Hey! Why do you keep running off?'

It seemed that, after all this time hanging out with the brothers, Polterpup had picked up Mario's appetite. He carried the cheese with him through the golden doors at the end of the hallway, the doors that led to the restaurant.

'Welp, I guess that's where we're going.' Daisy said, scrunching up another poster. 'Let's-a go, sweetie.'

He stared at the paper ball on the floor, before he ran after Daisy who was already half-way there.

The doors to the restaurant shone under the artificial lights, in a similar manner to the hotel's masquerade. The wood underneath the gold paint appeared to have been hand-carved, decorated with a meal fit for a Greek pantheon. Luigi rubbed his hands over the carved grapes, letting every bump in the wood sink in. His eyes sparkled at the impressive craftsmanship. He could feel the heart poured into every inch.

'Should I leave you and the door alone for a moment?' Daisy said.

He yelped, and his cheeks flared up when he noticed Daisy looking at him with a cheeky grin. The joke made him laugh, but in his state it came out like he was suffocating on laughing gas.

'I, uh, really like the carving.' He said.

'That's fine. It's a really nice carving! But now isn't the time to marvel it, unfortunately. We've got a doggy to find.'

Luigi took one last look at the gorgeous woodwork, and opened up the beautiful doors. Before he even got a good look at the place, several aromas greeted him. Though they all combined into a bit of a mess that was hard to decipher, he could identify several kinds of pastry, more cheese, and even some wine.

Daisy inhaled the lovely smells in the air. 'Oh, I gotta meet the chef. If this stuff tastes half as good as it smells...!'

Once he got over the aroma equivalent of a cacophony, he looked around. The door delivered them to the reception, of which no one was serving. It had a comfy-looking couch that he really wanted to lay down on. Among the clean furniture and the fresh fruits being shown off on a high shelf, what caught his attention was actually the menu that had been printed on a sign. It had a large list of all the food that consumers could order, and it had quite the variety - everything between basic fish-n-chips to a complex lasagne, the latter in particular making him salivate.

Luigi couldn't make out much else, as most of it had been scribbled over with a red marker. Not in a calm, regular manner either. Whoever had crossed out the items did so with clear rage and bitterness. It had a note on the bottom, written in the same manner as the rest - 'By the orders of Ms Hellen Gravely'.

'Found him!' Daisy announced.

Polterpup had gone past the reception and into the dining room, and hopped onto the display shelf that extended all the way down to the other end of the long room. Various pastries and cheeses showed off their delectable appearances and smells. The baguettes in particular attracted the dog with the smell of its crispy crust. He picked up an entire loaf with his mouth, and vanished into the wall to eat his spoils in peace.

'I think we're doing this mission as a duo, sweetie.' Daisy said.

Luigi gulped, without realising it. Watching his pet disappear the way he did filled his mind with unpleasant thoughts. It sent him back to the previous two ghost-capturing adventures, when he had no one around but himself. He knew he had Daisy still, but with Polterpup gone - if only for a few minutes - his anxieties drifted him to awful places.

D-Daisy's not gonna leave me too, is she? Per favore no... I can't do this alone. Not again. I can't handle another-

'Hey, Luigi? You see that?'

Only when she spoke up did Luigi realise that he had both his hands grasping the flashlight, strumming his fingers against it in a rhythmic manner. Please don't leave me, il mio fiore... He wanted to tell her. He put those fears aside; he knew she wouldn't really leave him, on purpose anyway.

She pointed over to the other side of the restaurant, where the doors to the kitchen lay. Heavy black smoke seeped out through the tiny gap between the top of the doors and the wall, before it dissipated into the air. If the restaurant had nearly as many patrons as it usually did, the mortals wouldn't be able to hear the voice on the other side of the doors.

'Hoh hoh! Now zis... yes, zis! Zis shall be my comeback. With Ms Gravely distracted, I can finally create a chef-d'oeuvre!'

Daisy grinned as she stepped down the stairs from the reception and into the dining room. Luigi gawked at how shiny and reflective the patterned tiles were; he could see an upside-down Daisy almost perfectly in that shine.

'My gut tells me the next elevator button lies behind those doors.' She said. 'Come on.'

Luigi followed her onto that beautiful tiled floor, and gasped.

'What?' Daisy asked.

'Shh! Over there.' He whispered.

He motioned to a table far off in the corner. Unlike the others, that were totally empty, this one had five Goobs sitting at it. Each had a cream-filled pastry laid out in front of them, and a couple of them had glasses of wine to go with them.

One of them gulped down her wine and slammed the glass back onto the table. 'And then she says to me, go tell Serpci to take down those horrid banners!' She said, mockingly imitating her boss's voice.

All the other ghosts gasped and groaned.

One nearly choked on his meal. 'Wait, you serious? Serpci loves those banners. They're of her hero! Doesn't Ms Gravely know she'll get hell for even trying that?'

A third sipped at his wine and scoffed. 'You think that's bad? I heard she ordered Dr Potter to carve that king's mug into every plant he had. Have fun convincing Old Man Ramos to defile his friends like that.'

A fourth laughed so hard, crumbs came flying out of her mouth. 'Pffft, really? And I thought forcing Amadeus to play King Boo's favourite tune for a whole night was awful!'

The last one didn't say anything. He was too busy burying his face in his arms and groaning in pain to properly contribute. If he could, he'd bring up Ms Gravely's order for Gloria to 'stop that infernal racket'. When Amadeus was in earshot no less.

Luigi gulped. 'L-Let's-a try to avoid them for now.'

Daisy sighed in disappointment while Luigi put his back up against the display shelf.

'Well, I guess we can't waste time capturing ghosts when we don't need to.' She said, joining him against the wall.

The two shuffled along as the five Goobs continued to rant among themselves about their awful boss and her stupid and rather tyrannical decisions. To Luigi, it felt like he was balancing on a ledge, and any wrong move would send him hurtling to his doom. To Daisy, it felt a little tedious. Luigi didn't even breathe as he got closer and closer to the door and the ghosts. With how quiet he was, and how enwrapped in their own conversation the Goobs were, the belief that they'd make it slowly grew stronger.

'Almost there, Luigi...' Daisy whispered.

He stopped dead. His head bumped into something, and it sent signals directly to his brain to stop moving instantly. Daring to move his eyes just a little, he saw a big bottle of wine standing on the edge just barely in his way.

And it was wobbling.

Oh no...

'Luigi? What's the hold-up?'

Exactly how he dreaded, the bottle moved in every which way and settled on falling towards the floor.

'No no no...!'

*SMASH*

He cringed. The bottle crashed into the floor and shattered, scattering wine and glass shards everywhere and filling the room with that awful cracking noise.

Daisy jumped. 'Oh my goodness!'

Any hope that Luigi had that the ghosts might not have heard that were immediately dashed when they all - with the exception of the silent one who had fallen to the floor - turned around to look at him, wondering what the heck that crash was about.

'George?' The first ghost guessed as she turned around. 'You being a complete idiot aga-?'

All five faces lit up at the sight of Luigi standing there like a practise target. Past his scared face, he mentally slapped his cheeks. Gah... I'm such a klutz!

'Woo-hoo! We've done it!' The Goob who choked on his food yelled, throwing his fist into the air. 'We'll make it big now!'

The laughing one played an air guitar. 'Oh yeah! That prize money is ours!'

The silent Goob tapped on the shoulder of his friend (the one sipping his wine) and pointed at the princess standing next to their target. The friend peered at her, and gasped.

'Guys, guys!' He cried. 'That's the princess!'

'The who?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Ya know? The one who bashed Harold into particles with her bare hands?'

All five looked at her closer. She waved to them, and with that the gaggle of Goobs proceeded to panic and fly around the room.

'Run away! Run away!'

'Princess on the loose!'

'Everyone panic!'

'There's no need to-'

'I SAID PANIC!'

While Luigi stared in shock, Daisy giggled. She took a bit too much delight out of watching the ghosts freaking out.

'Yeah, that's right!' She declared. 'Better be careful or I'll kick your ass!'

Luigi gasped. Such... language! Even if Daisy didn't mind dropping the occasional cuss when necessary, it still shocked him every time. It probably had to do with how he, Mario, and Peach practically never swore. It only made the ghosts panic more. If anyone listened carefully, they could almost hear Ms Gravely's expectations for her staff plummeting onto the floor.

Daisy grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. 'They're distracted. Let's book it!'

She dragged him like he was just an empty toy wagon. And he resisted about as much as one, too busy thinking about what just happened. That this entire thing could've been avoided if he had his crud together. Geez... between this and the Mammoshka, I really need to improve my track record.

'Come on!' Daisy said. 'Let's get in here!'

She pushed the door open, and brought both herself and Luigi inside. He resisted the urge to sneeze as the smell of heavy smoke hit him like a truck.

'Ooh, that ain't good...' Daisy said, wrinkling her nose.

The otherwise clean and fancy kitchen, loaded to the brim with various and aromatic ingredients stacked neatly on the shelves, had its beauty ruined by a big black cloud of smoke that covered up the entire other half of it. The choky smell overwhelmed that of the ingredients.

'I would like to see Ms Gravely see through zis smog! Prend ça, patron!' A voice announced from the heavy cloud.

Luigi shuddered; he could just barely sense a ghost hiding in the dark smog. He heard the ghost humming, and something being flipped in a frying pan.

'Hey buddy!' Daisy called to the ghost, waving smoke out of her face. 'Could ya clear this up please?'

The flipping sounds continued, though the humming stopped.

'I understand zat zee smoke is somewhat overwhelming. Let it be known zat I am doing so on purpose.'

Daisy groaned. 'Really? Why?'

'Why? You silly mortals ask why? You should be grateful zat I am not whacking you with my frying pan as we speak.'

Amongst all that smog, Luigi saw the dim shine of an elevator button.

He stared at the smoke, judging whether or not he could get through. Quickly he realised that he was a fool for even considering that for a moment. Trying not to sneeze from the very smell of it alone was hard enough. Then he remembered the weapon on his back. He picked up his Poltergust nozzle, and began sucking in large amounts of the noxious smoke. Just like clouds of dust, it disappeared into the vacuum without a problem.

'Ooh, clever!' Daisy said. 'Buuut... I don't think you have enough power.'

It was one of those rare times that she hated being right. While Luigi's Poltergust had made a noticeable dent in the fog, they didn't seem any closer to exposing the ghost within it. If anything, any smoke sucked up got replaced by even more smoke.

Daisy snapped her fingers. 'Hey, I got an idea! I bet if you and Gooigi used both your Poltergusts at once, you'd have enough power to suck it all up! E. Gadd mentioned being able to do something like that, right?'

'Yeah, he did! It's worth a try.'

He deployed Gooigi, and now the process of switching over to the green-filtered view with the wobbly legs felt as natural as walking for him. It really did feel like Gooigi was just another limb to work with.

Daisy, on the other hand, still laughed like a soldier trying to keep himself sane. 'Why?' She muttered. 'Why is that so creepy?'

Gooigi got right into sucking up the smoke, and through his translucent skin Daisy could see the smoke travelling through the pipe before it seemingly vanished into nothing. The food flipping stopped again.

'Hm? I cannot say for certain what it is you mortals are doing. But I can say zat it does not concern me.'

'We'll see about that!' Daisy said.

Sure that Gooigi was in a prime position, Luigi switched back to his own body and activated the Poltergust alongside his unconscious gooey counterpart. Just like Daisy had predicted, the smoke began to actually disappear. The horrid smell went away with it, and now Luigi could properly appreciate the amazing aroma of those ingredients. The dissipating smoke gave away to reveal a clean gas stove, a couple of empty sinks, and - most importantly - a ghost.

You can tell he was important as, unlike the slightly monstrous Goobs and Hammers, he looked much more humanoid. He donned a less-than-clean chef's outfit with an oversized mushroom hat, a very appropriate outfit considering his job. He had a fish, a whole fish at that, sizzling in his frying pan. The fish got flipped many times for that perfect subtle but crispy cook. Only this chef could have any idea how to make this work. The guy was so into his cooking that he didn't notice his smoky veil gone.

'It will be a simple creation to be sure.' He said, before deeply inhaling the nautical aroma. 'But zee simple meals can be just as good as zee...'

His voice trailed off when he noticed his lack of a cover. His attention fell over to the two green guys and the princess staring at him. Who noticed him staring at them.

'AHHHH!' Luigi yelped.

Daisy just waved, while Gooigi did absolutely nothing.

The chef's grasp on his frying pan tightened, and his hands shook. 'You... you destroyed my secretive veil...'

Luigi gulped; he could feel the slowly rising rage. His eyes darted over to the fish in the pan, which slid down the sizzling surface thanks to the oil.

*plop*

The fish dropped unceremoniously to the floor.

'Uh oh...'

The chef glanced down to his ruined creation staring back at him. He looked back at the Italian man, his eye twitching very, very noticeably.

'Uh, we can clean that up for you.' Daisy offered.

Okay, forget trying to control his temper! He slammed his pan onto his burner, for the specific purpose of creating an incredibly loud CLANK to get their attention. Luigi cringed as the sound attacked his ear drums.

'Hey, calm down!' Daisy yelled, adopting a more serious look. 'It's just one fish.'

'DO YOU MORTALS REALISE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!'

She crossed her arms. 'We made you drop a single fish, and that was mostly on you by the way. You'll be fine.'

'Stop your insolence AT ONCE, you fauteur de troubles!'

Before she could even think, he chucked his frying pan right at her head. The big metal implement slammed into her face, lifting her off her feet for a moment as the vibrations shook her entire body.

'Ah! Daisy!' Luigi cried.

She remained upright, somehow, but couldn't even stand for two seconds without wobbling all over the place. A derpy expression popped up on her face.

'Daisy, are you okay?'

She looked at him and giggled. 'Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, g'eh Luigi?'

His brain just stopped for a moment, requiring a lot of power to process that utter non-sequitur.

'Uh... what?'

'I hope she made lotsa SPAGHETTI!'

*THUD*

That glorious statement was her last words as unconsciousness overtook her. She fell to the floor flat on her face.

'Ahh! Daisy!'

And that dread of being alone came back to him. The dread only magnified when he realised he had a very peeved off chef ghost looking right at him. The anger coming off every part of the ghost's body made Gus T look like a ray of sunshine.

'Do you mortals realise what you have done?!' The chef yelled, staring dead into Luigi's soul.

Luigi tried to ignore Daisy on the floor, a feat that required much effort, and focus on the chef wishing death upon him.

'Uh... n-n-no?'

The chef sighed for five seconds in complete and utter frustration. He pulled on his red hair hard enough for it to stretch like rubber.

'You and your confounded friend destroyed my hazy vein, crétin!'

Luigi held his hands up and backed away slowly.

'I-I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you mean.'

'Zee smoke, niais! ZEE SMOKE! What, did you assume zat I would set fire to my creations by accident? What kind of chef do you zink I am?!'

The fact that he wasn't frying up the mortal's head at this very moment showed restraint. The idiot's stupid comment scraped against what little sanity he had left.

'I-I admit, I'm not quite sure who you are.'

'YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!' The ghost yelled. 'I am Chef Gordon Soulfflé, zee BEST and ONLY chef for MILES AROUND!'

Luigi jumped, and covered his head with his arms that he held up defensively. He didn't want to look, and braced himself for a frying pan to the face. No attack ever came. He dared to look again, and saw Chef Soulfflé no longer giving him the death glare, but now burying his face into his hands and growling through gritted teeth.

'Of course you would've never heard of me.' He said, far calmer in comparison but still obviously furious. 'But my boss is so ennuyeux and exigeante! How can I make myself known when she's around?'

Luigi couldn't understand the language he occasionally lapsed into, but he doubted that was even remotely positive. Lucky for Soulfflé, his boss couldn't understand a lick of French. As far as she was aware, he just called her exquisite and extravagant.

'So, uh, what was with all that smoke?' Luigi asked, reaching for the Strobulb.

'Is it not obvious?! My boss has cameras absolutely everywhere! I believe zere's four of zem in my cooler alone. If I have any hope of creating my masterpieces, I must hide myself with any means I have!'

Daisy slowly, very slowly, began coming to. After all, if one is unconscious for any longer than a minute or two then there's a serious problem. The world was still a badly-animated haze of fifty toasters and opening doors, and the two voices she could hear blended together into nonsense.

'B-But why would you need to do that?'

'Did you not SEE zee menu at zee entrance? Did you not notice how RUINED it was?!'

The scribbled-over menu came to Luigi's mind.

'Actually, I-I did. Why was it like that?'

'It was Ms Gravely's orders!' Soulfflé cried, slamming his fist directly into the fire that couldn't hurt his ethereal skin. 'She guised it under zee impression of saving resources, but I know it's just because she only wants whatever she believe her precious King Boo wants!'

Luigi hooked the flashlight up to the Poltergust, and approached Soulfflé as carefully as possible. Despite how badly his previous attempts at diplomacy failed, he hoped that this attempt worked. I can't believe anyone would treat their workers this poorly.

Soulfflé's breathing picked up, and he audibly seethed with every breath. 'Zat woman has forced me to cook zee same three meals for years. I haine that woman... so, so much...'

He shifted his glare back onto Luigi. It made the plumber turn as stiff as a block of lead.

'And yet... I am compelled to follow her orders, for reasons zat I can't begin to explain.'

Luigi gulped. 'And those orders are to...?'

Without an answer, Chef Soulfflé vanished into thin air. Luigi gasped, and grabbed his flashlight after multiple failed attempts at reaching for it. By the time he got a grip on it, the cook rematerialised floating by where his frying pan lay. Brushing aside a couple of melons that rested on the floor, he grabbed his pan and held it like a sword pointing right at the green plumber.

'Dah!' Luigi cried. 'U-Uh, Mr Soulfflé... can't we talk this out?'

'I cannot! Ms Gravely demands zat I capture a green gentleman and deliver him to her. And you match zat description perfectly. Maybe zen she will let me create what I want!'

To demonstrate the power behind it, he floated over to the unconscious Gooigi and delivered a power whack into his torso. The gooey man burst into scattered droplets that failed to resemble the shape that they once were. Chef Soulfflé winced with every muscle in his face at the sight of the green slime that covered his precious pan. Wiping it clean on his apron, he redirected his look of death to Luigi.

'I suggest you and your girlfriend leave zis room at once, before I turn your brains into minced meat!'

The temptation to grab Daisy and go was high, and if he had a choice he would high-tail immediately. Judging by the glowing yellow button in Soulfflé's pocket however, he had no choice but to remain.

'I-I didn't mean to ruin your meal. Honest! I just want the button so we can-'

'You want zee button? You cannot have it! Ms Gravely told me clearly zat under no circumstances should you be allowed to have it. If you want it, I'm afraid you'll have to tear it from me by force!'

Soulfflé wound his pan up like it was a baseball bat, and launched into a tornado spin attack like he was the Tasmanian Devil himself. He spun so fast that he looked more like an orange-and-grey spinning top.

'Wah!'

Luigi spent only a split-second searching for an opening to flash him in the eyes, but that attempt at logical thinking got overridden quickly by his survival instinct. It gave him a simple order - RUN AWAY YOU MORON! And he did just that. Screaming like a little girl as he did so. I just want you to let the mental image of a shrieking man running away from a spinning chef armed with a frying pan sink in. Sunk in yet? Good. Chef Soulfflé spun after Luigi with unrelenting persistence. The man in green dared not look back, if only because doing so would take away focus from his fleeing.

'C-Can't we just talk this over?' Luigi said between exhausted breaths. 'I-I prefer diplomacy over violence.'

'SILENCE!' Soulfflé yelled as the world began to get blurry. 'You have long past zee point of deserving diplomacy!'

Of course, one can't spin around wildly forever. Soulfflé sensed himself hitting his twirling limit, and so stopped the chase and the vortex of terror to get his dizzy mind back to normal. Despite his vision being whacked up, his glare caught up with Luigi no problem. Speaking of which, the man in green ran for a couple of seconds before he realised that he could stop. He leaned on the kitchen counter, his attention falling upon a mouse hiding in the sink for a moment.

Soulfflé lifted up his frying pan, despite being out of melee range. On instinct, Luigi's hands jolted to cover his ears. Right on time for the frying pan to be slammed into the stove again, creating an even more horrid clanking sound than the last.

'Why do you struggle?' Soulfflé demanded. 'Make like an animal and let me capture you!'

Daisy lifted her head up from the floor. All the doors that clouded her vision opened up and revealed the real world behind them. Right; she was in a kitchen, she remembered that now. And she could also remember an angry cooking ghost...

She gasped. 'Luigi!'

It seemed that Soulfflé had forgotten she existed after knocking her unconscious; he paid her absolutely no mind, focusing more on trying to strike the man who didn't really do anything.

'Why do you have to fight me?' Luigi pleaded.

'Only when Ms Gravely rewards me will I be allowed to make what I want to make!'

Luigi charged up a beam and went for it now that the ghost was not spinning around wildly, but Soulfflé merely blocked the rays with his pan.

'Did you not expect zat I would see zat coming? It is zee only way you can 'kill' zee otherwise unkillable.'

Luigi took a sharp breath. The last thing he ever wanted was an unexpected change of plans. Keeping the stress of change in check, he thought about how to disarm the chef (that's a sentence). Wait, that frying pan has a flat surface! Maybe I could plunger it... He engaged this thought process immediately, and got his plunger ready to fire. Alas, it seemed Soulfflé expected this, and began his spinning attack once again.

'Oh no!'

Luigi fired his shot anyway, but it merely went flying off and landed on the stove, which burnt it away into ashes. In a fit of panic, he jumped to another strategy as the spinning chef got close to him. He deployed Gooigi directly into Soulfflé's path, and switched back to his normal body the moment he could. As he anticipated, Soulfflé's pan struck the gooey man and blasted his body into nothing more than a green splash, stopping the chef's spiralling attack.

'Gah! You are just frustrating as zee others led me to believe.' Soulfflé said, flinging the goop off his pan. 'I do not understand why you are not just surrendering and accepting defeat. Do you zink I fought against zee fire zat killed me? No! I accepted my loss and got it over with! Why can't you do zee same?'

Daisy growled through her teeth as she stared up at him from the floor. 'I could say the same thing about you, buddy...'

Soulfflé seemed about ready to charge at the plumber once again. Daisy slammed her fist into the ground; the guy thought he was so brave, hiding behind that frying pan of his! I bet he'd be totally defenceless without it, She thought. I'll rip it out of his cold, undead hands if I... hang on. Her attention fell on the melons and pumpkins scattered on the floor by her. 'A-ha!'

She jumped to her feet, just a little dizzy as the blood rushed back to her head, and yanked a melon clean off the floor. Holding it as if it were a shot put ball, she took aim at the cooking-utensil-turned-weapon.

'Hey, Chef Boyardee!' She called.

With a sign, Soulfflé interrupted his attack before he began, and turned to her. 'I zought I dealt with you. What is it zat you want?'

'Take this!'

She chucked the melon square at the frying pan, and though it broke apart on impact the pan went flying out of his hand. In two pieces, no less; the handle had broken clean off. The two separate bits of pan collided against the wall and fell to the floor.

Soulfflé gasped. 'Zat was my favourite pan! Quelle tragédie...'

Daisy scoffed. 'It was just a frying pan. Don't be so melon-cholic!'

As much as he thought that she was taking things a little too far, Luigi couldn't help laughing at her little pun. He liked wordplay. Soulfflé wasn't quite so partial however, which was clear by how now both his eyes twitched incessantly. He cried out in pure rage, to the point where she half-expected him to morph into some hulking beast.

'YOU WILL PAY FOR ZAT, you princesse gênante!' He shouted. 'I WILL MAKE SURE ZAT MS GRAVELY LOCKS YOU UP FOR DEFILING MY-'

Luigi cut off his furious rant by flashing him in his now-exposed eyes. Into the Poltergust nozzle he went.

'GET OFF ME, YOU RAVAGEUR!' Soulfflé shouted, doing as all ghosts did and dragging him around. 'If Ms Gravely doesn't kill you both for such flagrant behaviour, I WILL!'

Daisy chuckled. 'It'll be hard to do that once you're in a vacuum cleaner. Ged 'em, sweetie!'

Though she knew that she couldn't do anything to help directly, that didn't stop her from cheering her plumber on. Luigi needed that little bit of encouragement, as no ghost prior had fought the Poltergust nearly as hard as Soulfflé was, not even Chambrea. No matter hard he pulled his suction in the opposite direction, Soulfflé kept dragging him around the kitchen.

'As if I would let myself get captured by a cretin like you! If I am to be defeated, it'll be to something as powerful as a fire. Not a little green wimp!'

But the powerful vibrations he felt in his hands told him he was doing his job right. Just a little further and he could...

Slam!

He flung Soulfflé into the ground with all his might, perhaps a little harder than necessary considering how hard he had been holding on before. He had to stop for just a moment, to 'recharge his strength' as it were, breathing heavily as his nerves relaxed. Soulfflé, now not even trying to fight back, looked up to his captor. Though stunned by the impact, he gave a weak smile.

'I... I see zat I was wrong. You are indeed as powerful as a raging fire.'

Neither Luigi nor Daisy had any idea what that was about, but Luigi did notice that the second slam took him significantly less power than the first. Each subsequent slam got even easier. Despite his oncoming fate inside the Poltergust, Soulfflé gave Luigi a defeated smile.

'Zee bravest artistes admit failure when it comes... and zis is a failure for me.'

And though his gigantic hat jammed the nozzle for a moment, soon he was sucked in without a trace. Well, except for the three still very much alive fish that came flying out, landing on the floor and flopping about.

'Ew...' Luigi muttered as a flailing fish got a little too close to his feet. 'Sacre bleu...'

A frustrated voice echoed from the Poltergust. 'Never heard zat one before!'

The nozzle rattled, and a button shot out of it and landed in the sink.

'Oh yeah!' Daisy said as Luigi walked over to the landing spot. 'I'm starting to see a pattern here. Special-looking ghost, elevator button. Pretty basic.'

Luigi chuckled and reached for the button.

'EEK!'

And fell backwards into a puddle on the floor upon seeing a mouse right next to it.

'Whoa! That's a mouse scream.' Daisy said. 'Where is it?'

The mouse crawled out of the sink with the button in its mouth, before it gulped it down in one bite.

'Oh no...' Luigi murmured.

Giving him a smug little look as a nice 'screw you', it hopped off the bench and ran for the door.

'No... no no no!'

Daisy watched the little rodent scurry by her feet, and clenched her fists. 'Hey! You get back here!'

She chased it all the way to the door, where upon it simply ducked into a hole in the wall and disappeared through to the other side.

Her shoulders slumped. 'Dang it.'

Luigi put his hand to his forehead and sighed. 'Aw, come on...'

Daisy, not one to give up for even a moment, kicked the door wide open. Seems a bit excessive, but I suppose that works.

'Get back here, ya vermin!' She cried, before running out the door.

Luigi stood up and wiped the water off himself. 'Wait for me!'

By the time he got out of the kitchen, she was already at the reception - she was considered a 'Speed type' in the Olympic Games for a reason. Luigi couldn't quite see from his position, but judging by Daisy's cry of utter exasperation the mouse went straight through the wall once again.

'I swear to Grambi, I'm gonna kill that rat!'

And out the door she went. Luigi sighed; though fast enough on his own, no way he'd catch up to her with the heavyweight weaponry on his back.

'Daaaisyyy...' He whined, before running after her.

Daisy burst the door open with her hands this time, not noticing the small dents she left in the wood as she did so. All the way down the hall, she saw a little grey dot fleeing into the wall. How many holes were there on this floor? Someone needs to call the exterminator.

She cracked her knuckles and charged off again. 'Give me that button or I'll take it back the hard way!'

The run to the door at the end finished in less than a second, from her point-of-view at least, and she opened the door up with so much energy the handle came out of it now completely bonked up.

It opened up to an entertainment room. A billiards table stood in front of her, its balls all in place ready for a game. A dartboard hung on the distant front wall, and so the other side of that was a, uh, pig butt mounted up. A sword had been stuck into the dartboard's bullseye. The brown-wood walls and the faded green carpet gave off the vibes of an old pub. What Daisy would kill for a beer right then...

Her eyes scanned the room like a lioness searching for prey. She spotted her target by the pig rear, chilling under a table that had an empty mug resting on it.

'Hey Remy!' She shouted to it.

It responded to her spontaneous shouting by ducking through yet another mouse-sized hole in the wall.

Daisy opened her mouth to shout her frustration, but she scratched the back of her head instead. 'Okay, that one was on me.'

Seeing nothing left to do in that room, she shrugged and turned around. She reached for the door handle, but a paranormal gate manifested and locked in place in front of that door.

She jumped back. 'Gah! I don't need this. I need to get back to Luigi!'

She grabbed onto the purple swirling bars, not surprised at all that the gloves allowed her to hold them. It didn't do her any good, as even her gloves wouldn't let her shake the bars, let alone remove the gate.

'Hey princess.'

With a groan she turned around, and her eyes widened at the sight: a new kind of ghost she hadn't seen before, bouncing the black billiard ball in his hand. He had a smirk on his skinny yellow face.

'Name's Owen. Wanna have a game with me?' He asked.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Who goes first? You or me? I'll let you go first if you want.'

The Oozer just chuckled, and turned to the cupboard behind him. 'So sis, are you gonna run away again or actually help me this time?'

Another Oozer stuck her head out of the cupboard and gave him a look. 'That wasn't running away! It was a tactical exit. Oh, and thanks for giving my position away!'

Owen rolled his eyes, and glanced back at Daisy. 'Just ignore Olivia over there.'

Olivia growled, but returned to her hiding spot. Owen sighed without even looking at her, and stopped throwing the black ball.

'I'm excited for this.' He said. 'With that precious Poltergust locked away, you're up for the taking. I go first. Take this!'

He tossed that ball with all of his might, hard enough for it to leave a little yellow trail as it soared through the air, aiming right for her face. With the cockiest smirk you will ever see, Daisy caught it in midair like a tennis ball.

Owen gasped.

'So, your turn again.' She said, crushing it into dust - a feat that managed to surprise her.

Owen looked around like a bird on high alert, searching for any sort of weapon to use. Hesitantly, he picked up the orange ball and took aim.

'Nice move.' Daisy said. 'My turn!'

Giving him no time to react, she grabbed his tail and yanked it so hard that he fell to the table. He looked up at her with fear in those empty eyes.

'Your move.' She said, grinning to show all her teeth, including those impressive canines.

The Oozer gaped at the hands that held him down. A mortal capable of touching ghosts? Impossible, surely.

Owen gulped. 'Hey, uh, s-sis. You know what you said about tactical exits?'

'Uh, y-yeah?' Olivia's trembling voice came muffled from behind the doors.

'I think it's about time we take our tactical exit!'

Daisy loosened his grip on him just enough so he could barely free himself. He flew straight up in a panic, vanishing through the ceiling. Olivia never showed herself, but judging by the paranormal gates dissipating away she had followed her brother.

The princess laughed. 'The ghosts can only hope that they warn everyone else that this princess is not to be messed with. Now where was I?' She groaned. 'Right. The stupid mouse.' She turned around and opened the door. 'Maybe Luigi has- AH!'

'AHHHH!'

Neither expected to find the other on the opposite side of the door. It was quite the miracle that Daisy didn't get a Strobulb to the face.

'Oh. I-It's just you.' Luigi stammered, doing a poor job at hiding his reddening cheeks. 'I-I was trying to get to you before, but the gate stopped me. Sorry.'

'That's fine.' She said. 'The ghosts weren't any trouble. You have any idea where that stupid mouse could've gone?'

'Uh, actually, yeah.'

She did not expect him to bring her to the location where he did.

'The... bathrooms?' She said, looking at the mouse hole.

'Uh, yeah.'

She looked the door up and down, and failed to see anything wrong with it.

'And you didn't go in and get the button yourself... why?' She asked, before stammering. 'Uh, I-I'm just curious.'

He pointed at the sign on the door, the one of a person in a dress. 'It's the ladies' bathroom.'

Daisy stifled a chuckle. 'Luigi, no one's gonna care.'

He opened his mouth.

'And before you ask, I would absolutely go into the men's bathroom if I had to. But, I get it, I get it. I can go in there for you if you want.'

'N-no. No. You're right. I should've just gone in there and grabbed the button while you were distracted.'

His blushing intensified. I'm such an idiot...

'Yeah, that's probably for the better.' Daisy said as he opened the door. 'I was just scaring the little guy away on account of my-'

'AHHHH!'

That was not a mouse scream. That was a 'getting jumpscared by something on the other side of the door' scream. His oncoming-heart-attack came to a halt when he realised that the ghost at his feet was a certain loyal pet, bread and cheese crumbs all over his muzzle.

'Oh thank goodness...' Luigi gasped. 'It's just you, boy.'

Polterpup barked in joy and nodded. He turned around, and wagged his tail like a signal.

'Oh, coming!'

He stepped inside the bathroom, his feet making tiny splashes in the puddles on the floor. Against his expectations, the room smelled like a buffet, thanks to the scraps of fruit and pastry desserts scattered around. Some soggy, mouldy bread clogged one of the sinks. Cringing, Luigi remembered why he wasn't a full-time plumber anymore.

Polterpup pointed his nose at the middle stall. The echoing sounds of mice squeaking and chatting among themselves came from behind the door. Luigi struggled to make out any specific sounds in the high-pitched cacophony, and the squeaks did wonders for his ears. Gulping, he approached the door and pushed it open.

'Dah!'

'Luigi? What's wro... oh.'

It wasn't just a single mouse sitting on that toilet seat. At least ten or twenty mice piled on top of each other, creating a big lump of grey dirty fur. At least thirty eyes looked at him. However, despite all the targets, Luigi could see a glowing yellow light in one of them. Then the mice scattered. They crawled onto the floor and surrounded him.

He balanced on one foot in a failed attempt to get away from them. 'G-Get away!'

Normally, he thought rats and mice were really cute, but not so much when they just came out of a bathroom and were most likely swarming with germs. He tapped the floor with his foot, which was supposed to be a stomp - something impossible in his state of mind. It didn't faze the mice in the slightest.

'D-Don't bite me!' He yelled with a squeak higher in pitch than the mice.

Polterpup glared down at the rodents surrounding his master, and snarled at them. They all looked to him, frozen like an introvert in the spotlight.

'RUFF!'

The mice all squeaked in fear, and ran off to the hole in the back wall like Pikmin running in panic. One mouse, the one with the glow inside it, failed to escape and found itself in the jaws of the ghostly beasts. Polterpup didn't grind in into paste, and merely kept it trapped. He growled at it, which most likely translated to a firm 'DROP IT'. The mouse, ears hanging in defeat, puked up the elevator button onto the floor. With the conditions fulfilled, Polterpup dropped it nice and gently. The mouse dashed away faster than Sonic the Hedgehog.

Luigi wiped his brow. 'Phew...'

'Yeah!' Daisy yelled. 'Now pick it up before a second mouse comes along and snatches it up.'

With a smile, Luigi grabbed the button and held it tight in his hand. His triumphant pride vanished the moment he realised that the button was covered in mouse saliva. The spit began to run off the button and onto his gloves.

'Bleh...' He muttered, sticking his tongue out.

Good Grambi, he hated spit. Granted, most people thought it was gross, but to him, it'd be less gross if the button was covered in urine. He peeled his index finger away, only to see a string of saliva connecting it to the button. He couldn't take it anymore. He gagged and dropped the button. His eyes focused on the wall; no way he could look at that slimy thing again. Daisy didn't question his sudden reaction. She didn't need to. She simply stepped in, grabbed the button for him, and wiped it clean with the inside of her shirt.

'Floor number four... hm. Don't remember what was on that floor. Do you?'

He gave her the best smile he could as he wiped his glove on the back of his pants (so he wouldn't have to see it).

'Uh, I didn't study the map too well, but I think it was called the Great Stage. I, uh, remember something about a pianist.'

'A pianist, huh? I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that's the guy holding the next button.' She put the button away into her pocket, in case another mouse showed up. 'Let's get out of this stupid bathroom and get this button back in.'


'WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WITH THESE INCOMPETENT MORONS?!'

Hellen Gravely couldn't believe it. She had witnessed not one, not two, not even three, but four of her hopeless staff members fall to the green idiot and his Poltergust.

'How do we follow through the same trap for decades and fail at the most important moment?! The MOUSE did a better job holding onto that button!'

She pulled at her hair, in any attempt she could to control her rage before it happened. No matter how hard she tried, the rage continued to build. Growling, she pulled out her make-up and applied it thoroughly. Only then did she calm down.

'Okay Hellen, don't freak out yet just because you lost your weakest workers. As if the four of them ever did anything. All Soulfflé ever did was try cooking them a meal. I trust Amadeus will be able to finish him off.'

She looked at the security feed of the Great Stage, to see her pianist doing what he typically did in his spare time: playing his grand piano.

'Assuming he decides to actually help me out this time. I hope my servants do a good enough job convincing him.'

She smirked as her eyes fell upon one of the cameras for floor fourteen. A DJ with a giant afro stood behind her neon turntable, a big smile on her face as she ignored her orders and played her infernal disco music.

'And if they don't, I know exactly how to push his buttons.'

A shiver, a joyful one, went down her back. It made her giggle. She was certain it was King Boo, smiling down upon her in approval.

'Yes darling! I will make you proud!'

Polterkitty, resting in her bed and trying to get those sixteen hours of daily sleep, groaned. Just hearing her owner declare her love for that guy gave her the same feeling she had when she licked that three-year-old salmon. Hellen heard the quiet groan and, remembering that her pet existed, spun her chair around to face her. She adopted gigantic faux smile.

'Polterkitty, my sweet little darling!'

The kitty in question stretched her legs out and stood up. She recognised that as the 'I want you to do something' tone, and she would always follow her orders.

'I'm sure we can both agree that my staff are just a bunch of idiots, right?'

Polterkitty had to disagree. She found the staff rather nice and welcoming. They treated her really well, when they were allowed to. Regardless, she nodded.

'Of course we can! We just can't trust our staff, can we?'

She shook her head.

'Exactly! So I'm entrusting you with a very important mission. Since my staff cannot be trusted to hold onto the buttons themselves, perhaps you could swipe one for yourself. Just one button, and he won't be able to do anything about it.'

Her eyes widened. Swipe a button away when the boy thought he won? That seemed a little too diabolical. But if Master want, then Master shall get. Polterkitty left her warm fluffy bed, and dove into the floor. It took a bit of pushing to get herself all the way through.

'That's a good girl! Do your job right, and I'll give you extra cat nip tomorrow!'

The spectral cat found offers like this useless. The rest of the staff may have needed an extra reward, but she certainly didn't. All that mattered to her was pleasing Master.


CHEF SOULFFLÉ, THE COOK WITH SOUL

AGE - 43

GENDER - Male

CAUSE OF DEATH - Kitchen Fire

Chef Gordon Soulfflé is the head - and only - chef in the Last Resort. Surprisingly, the inevitable stress is not why he's so quick-to-anger; he was always like that. He cooks just for pleasure, not stopping even when he lost his life to a kitchen fire. He doesn't care a single bit about money, spending all his earnings on ingredients and bills. He prefers to work in privacy, and he is not afraid to weaponize his frying pan.


Author Notes - Kay, so now Daisy's taking her cues from Han Solo. This is what happens when one's an Aspie with constantly shifting interests. It's for the best, guys; it'll help me have the enthusiasm to keep writing.

The Mezzanine is probably the simplest floor in the whole game, except for the Grand Lobby. I like what I did with Chef Soulfflé, considering that he has very limited screen time compared to the others. And like 'Paul Kruller', his first name being 'Gordon' is referencing what you think it is.

I suppose I can talk about how much I love what I've done with Hellen Gravely. I like a villain who uses manipulation instead of any kind of force.

I can't speak French beyond some basic stuff, so I relied on Google Translate. I apologise to those who actually can.


Polterkitty remembered a time when Hellen Gravely was much nicer. When she wasn't barking orders at workers, or luring mortals into her hotel trap. Polterkitty struggled to remember that time, as it seemed to be so far away. She remembered when she was all alone, after her life had been taken away from her too early. If she ever found those humans again, she'd drown them in a river. Everything was raining, and she tried to shelter underneath the leaf of a fern.

Where was she? How long ago was it? Why was she there? She couldn't recall that unneeded information anymore. But she could easily recall the one who approached her.

The person who knelt down was a young ghostly girl, no older than eight in mortal years. With that long blue hair and radiant purple skin, she couldn't be mistaken for anyone else. The girl reached her hand out, and Polterkitty swiped at her. Despite the attack, the girl reached again.

'Hello?' She said. 'Are you lost?'

Polterkitty bared her teeth and hissed. Still, the girl wouldn't give up.

'I'm Hellen! I know you're lost. Do you wanna come home with me?'

At the time, the ghostly kitty didn't think she could really trust her. The vibe emanating off her felt wrong. Yet, Polterkitty had practically no one else to turn to - no one else would want a ghost cat with two tails, with a third one on the way.

Polterkitty didn't regret it. Hellen treated her like a pharaoh. Even though they lived in the remains of an abandoned hotel, she loved every moment of it. Even when Hellen grew up, devised a hotel trap, and mistreated her workers, she still adored her spectral kitty and gave her all the love in the world.

But, as Polterkitty soon found out, Ms Gravely only had room for one being in her heart.

The moment King Boo came around, Polterkitty was dropped like a hot piece of metal. Suddenly, every wall was covered in a picture of that kingly boo. Some of them even had Hellen herself in them, doing some... unspeakable things to him. The ethereal kitty awaited the day that Hellen would drop that monarch. But no matter how much 'affection' she got, she knew it was nothing compared to her love for King Boo.

It made Polterkitty hate King Boo. Loathe him with every fibre in her being. If she had any chance, she'd kill him for a second time. She'd tear him limb from limb, and chow down on the remains until there was nothing left. But it wasn't his fault. He just existed, and Hellen became obsessed. But Polterkitty just couldn't aim her hate at her owner.

She thought back on these memories fondly. She knew that, if she just waited, her owner would eventually return to being the nice, sweet person she knew her to be.