Author Notes - OOH the Paranormal Productions! One of my favourite levels in the whole game! For obvious reasons.

First things first - NO, Luigi and Daisy will NOT betray Morty. Who do you think I am? A jerk? *carefully sweeps that achievement under her rug* But seriously, I have a special plan for him.

And we'll have a guest star in this level! What the heck do I mean by that? Look, it's the movie-based level. And I am the goddess of this universe. And if you wanted a story that deviated from the game... well then.

Gracias to derrickdcrawford and EXRB for the favourites/follows!

OH, and also, from now on I'll be occasionally going back and editing previous chapters. This will be either to make them consistent with the newer chapters (early instalment weirdness and all that), fix up some major typos (looking at you, 'an elevator shot out of the Poltergust'), or possibly to change some things that ended up being retconned later on due to my habit of making things up as I go. Note that said changes will be very minor, so no need to re-read chapters already read.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - GET A MOVIE ON!

After the trap-loaded 'castle' and the mountainous garden, the heroes expected things to only get worse from there. So when the doors opened to floor number eight, you can imagine their surprise when they saw, well, absolutely nothing like that at all.

The purple carpet on the floor had a film reel pattern on it. A well-painted set of a gorgeous mountain scape took up the entire right wall. A film camera mounted on the other wall pointed right at it. A shiny red helicopter prop hung from the ceiling.

Daisy chuckled. 'Luigi, I have a feeling we're not in danger anymore.'

Luigi sheltered his eyes from the blinding spotlight that moved around aimlessly. He paid attention to the sounds - nothing much aside from the quiet camera swirling.

'Hi there!'

'Wah!'

Luigi did not expect a ghost to squeeze her body out of the camera lens and float up to him with a smile. From her pink skin alone he recognised her as a 'Slinker', looking up at her from the floor. Daisy heard her plumber's cry for help, spun around, and took on a defensive pose with her fists clenched and ready for battle.

'Get away from him you b-!'

The Slinker held up her arms. 'Whoa, calm down! I'm not going to hurt anyone.'

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'How can I be so sure?'

The Slinker shrugged, a strange sight considering her shoulders were above her face. 'Ya can't. But you're just gonna have to trust me. I'm Scarlett, and you're in a safe haven.'

Luigi clipped the Poltergust nozzle back onto the storage tank, and approached the Slinker known as Scarlett slowly and carefully.

'What are you doing, Luigi?' Daisy asked.

'I... I trust her.'

'Luigi!'

Despite Daisy's apprehension, Scarlett's face lit up. She brought Luigi into a sweet little hug, making sure not to squeeze him too tight. He uttered a distressed hum; he disliked forced physical contact. Daisy would've attacked the ghost, had she not been too busy staring at the embrace in shock.

Scarlett backed away, and motioned to the camera. 'In that case, say hello to my little friend!'

A little yellow head stuck out of the camera lens, and the ghost it belonged to pushed himself out, revealing himself to be a Oozer half the size of a regular one. A 'Mini-Oozer', if you will. Compared to all the younger Minis from before, he had to be at least fourteen.

'Hey there!' He said, waving. 'The name is Brad, and welcome to the Paranormal Productions! Allow us to show you around.'

The duo of ghosts drifted over to a hallway that started on the left of the room. Said hallway turned to the left immediately, turning back on itself.

'Well? Come on!' Scarlett said, beckoning for them to come. 'No need to just lounge around here.'

Luigi smiled, and took a step forward. Only a single step as Daisy grabbed his shoulder before he could go any further.

'What makes you think you can trust them?' She asked. 'I don't doubt your judgement, but most of the ghosts haven't exactly shown themselves to be nice.'

'Some of them have.' He replied. 'What about Mr Wolfgeist? He only attacked us because he thought we hurt his daughter. Not all ghosts are mean.'

Daisy glanced down at Polterpup, who was giving her his trademark puppy dog eyes. After much consideration, she sighed.

'Alright.' She said. 'I don't trust the ghosts but I do trust you. But I will remained armed and ready.' She looked at the ghosts. 'Alright, we'll follow you!'

Scarlett and Brad grinned, the latter clapping his hands like an excited young child.

'Fantastic!' Scarlett said. 'Follow us to our safe haven.'

Our three heroes followed them into the hallway, which wasn't particularly long but still packed with detail. The pattern on the floor resembled a film reel, practically directing them to the main lobby. Dim lights shone on all the movie posters hung up on the walls. Luigi walked through the hallway a little slower than the others, wanting to read every single poster he passed.

Citizen Kamek, The Wizard of Odyssey, Snow White and the Seven Toads, Raiders of the Belome Temple, Gone With the Lakitu, Sleeping Birdo, Peoplebusters (and its questionable-looking all-female remake)...

The Peoplebusters one especially intrigued him. A movie about a trio (or was it a quadtet?) of ghosts busting people the same way he busted ghosts? That had to be interesting.

'You can look at these posters as long as you like.' Brad said. 'No one's gonna attack you here.'

Daisy left the poster hallway, and entered the studio entrance. A red carpet, appropriately, extended to the grand doors, above which was a giant clapperboard prop. A shelf on the right had many golden Goob-shaped awards stacked upon it. Speakers hung from the corners. It made her feel like she was about ready to buy overly-priced popcorn.

She scoffed. 'And what makes you so sure?'

'Hello there!'

'Dah!'

She jumped back a whole foot as a ghost suddenly popped up behind the front desk. He was a Trapper, wearing a little blue hat and bowtie that did little to weaken the fright. At least he kept his two tongues to himself.

'Welcome to the Paranormal Productions!' The Trapper said, holding his arms out wide. 'I am Leonardo, your helpful introduction-er! ... Is there a word for that? Do you have any questions?'

While Daisy stood there with her mind a little broken, Luigi approached the front desk instead. 'Y-Yes, actually. Is this place really as safe as, um, Scarlett and Brad say it is?'

The Trapper tipped his hat. 'Why, absolutely sir! Compared to the horror of the other floors, the Paranormal Productions is a safe haven. Here we are safe from Hellen Gravely's mind tricks. We are the peaceful ghosts, the ones that our boss ignores due to our calm natures. No one will attack you while you relax here!'

Luigi smiled. After the gruelling castle and garden, the very idea of an actually relaxing time seemed almost too good to be true.

Daisy agreed. 'Oh, I see. This is all just some crazy trap. Well I'm not falling for it! You ghosts can all...'

She caught sight of Brad giving Polterpup a belly rub. The ghost doggy soaked it all up, not questioning their intent at all.

'A trap, you say?' Scarlett said, floating in front of her. 'What makes you think we would set up a trap?'

Daisy stammered. 'Well, you- I- a lot of ghosts have tried to hurt us.'

'And you assume that we are just like the other ghosts?'

Daisy's mouth fell open. Sounded pretty 'ghostist' when spoken like that, huh?

'Well, um, to be fair,' Luigi said. 'We're not quite sure what separates you from the others.'

'Simple.' Scarlett said. 'Hellen Gravely prefers to pretend we don't exist.'

All this convincing meant nothing to Luigi; no need to convince someone already buying your every word. Daisy, on the other hand, cocked an eyebrow.

'Uh-huh. Right. I'll draw my own conclusions when I meet the grand boss who owns the place. Where are they?'

Brad looked up to her. 'Oh, you mean Morty? He's the main director!'

Leonardo tapped his fingers against the front desk. He looked as though he had some less than pleasant news to spill.

Scarlett approached him. 'What, they still haven't returned his megaphone yet?'

The Trapper shook his head. 'I'm afraid not. Those cobwebs are mighty strong.'

The Slinker sighed. 'Of course.'

Daisy - unlike Luigi, who hated interrupting - willingly waltzed between the conversing ghosts like she had been invited.

'I'd hate to break up your discussion,' She said. 'But can you take us to Morty? I'm sure he'll give us a good impression of this place.'

Scarlett nodded. 'Right away, Princess! I warn you though. He might be a bit... inconsolable.'

She and her Mini-Oozer friend grabbed onto their own halves of the door, and opened them up like they were unveiling a new movie. If only there was a super bright light on the other side...

Through the grand doors, was a small director's studio off to the right. But far more interestingly was the massive backstage studio right in front of them. Rafters hung from the ceiling, and spotlights hung from those. The wall all the way at the end had a massive '5' on it. Four mysterious TVs stood in the middle of the room, in a slightly-curved line. A table with delectable food sat by the wall on the left, where Polterpup immediately jumped to.

All-in-all, it looked just like a professional backstage set.

Daisy blinked a couple times, making sure she was seeing this right. 'Okay, when that map said there was a movie room, I didn't expect it to be a studio.'

Luigi focused on just one spot, a miracle with how much random details usually caught his attention, which was the same spot four of the hanging spotlights focused on. It was the director's chair, dead in the middle of the room. A blue ghost looking more human than the others sat in the chair, his face in his hands.

Daisy smiled. 'That's gotta be him!'

Luigi was not so happy to see him. With how quiet the rest of the stage was, he could easily hear Morty crying. The grand ghost weeped into his arms, muttering something about a megaphone.

The green-clad man's heart sank. Contrary to popular belief of those on the spectrum, his empathy was no worse than others'. If anything, it was stronger. Much stronger.

'M-Morty...?' He muttered.

Leaving his weapon hooked up onto the Poltergust, he ran towards the crying director without a second thought.

'Luigi, where are you going?' Daisy asked, going after him. 'You have to be careful!'

He ignored her warnings, seeing them pointless when up against such a sad-looking ghost. When he got close, Morty sheltered his eyes and looked away from him, purely by coincidence as he hadn't noticed the mortal approaching him.

'The tragedy!' Morty wailed. 'Oooooh ho ho ho! Is this my end? Is this what I, Morty, director of the finest films, am destined for?'

Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Don't mind him, Luigi. He's clearly a drama queen.'

Luigi didn't give her the dignity of giving her a look, focusing only on the dramatic director. Morty only wailed harder, before his crying became a little more subdued.

'I am a puny, worthless movie director... that's all...'

Luigi cringed. Those words hit him a little too close to home. How many times had he thought those words? Well, perhaps a bit less dramatically.

He fiddled with his hands. 'Um, Mr Morty, can I h-?'

Morty threw his arms up, unleashing one particularly loud cry of agony. In his fit of sadness, he pulled out a shiny golden object from his pocket and held it in the air.

'Even the sparkle from this beautiful button is now nothing but a dull hue!'

Both Luigi and Daisy's eyes sparkled. An elevator button! Numbered '9'. The plumber reached out slowly, not making any sound at all, darting his eyes back to Morty for a moment.

'Oh my Grambi, he has a button!' Daisy declared.

She ran across the room, inadvertently pushing Luigi aside as she dashed to the drama king's side.

'Hey Morty, if you don't mind me asking, may we have that button?' She asked.

Morty turned his head slowly, and gave her the kind of 'please adopt me' look a beaten-up puppy would give you. He glanced at the button, and cried out again.

'AHHH! It is the one thing I have left, and still someone wants to take it from me! But for my utter failure...' His lips quivered. 'It is all that I deserve.'

He tossed it her way, like a piece of rolled up paper. She grabbed it with both hands, and cradled it like it was a handful of water.

'Wow, uh, thanks!' She said. 'I didn't think it'd be that easy.'

He waved her away dismissively. 'I do not deserve to have such a beautiful object! Give it to someone of more worth than me! Or keep it to yourself. That button is worthier than this failure of a director!'

She held the button close to her chest, in case that forsaken kitty decided to hop through the wall and swallow it again.

'Come on Luigi!' She said. 'Let's go!'

She began making her way back to the elevator, but stopped after only a few steps. Luigi hadn't moved an inch from his spot.

'Uh, Luigi, it's time to go. Come on. We have the button.'

'We have to make this right.' He said.

'Ugh, Luigi! We can't-'

Oh no, he was doing those puppy-dog eyes again. He had to be doing that on purpose.

'It's what Mario would do. Big bro never left someone in need.'

She sighed; she'd get him and his toothache-inducing cuteness one day. 'Alright. We'll help Morty out. But we gotta do it quickly.'

Luigi sidestepped quietly in front of Morty, and fiddled with his hands some more as he debated how to go about this.

'Um, Mr Morty...?'

The crying ghost looked up at him. 'Someone approaching me? It can't be. Who would ever bother to even glance at a puny director such as I?! I am not worthy to be spoken to by even a rock!'

'C-Can I ask, what's wrong?'

Scarlett and Brad watched him with surprise. They never thought they'd see a mortal say that to a ghost.

Morty leaned back in his chair so much, he'd snap his spine if he had one. 'What is wrong, he asks. WHAT IS WRONG? What it right is a better question! Nothing is right anymore, ever since I lost my bright red megaphone!'

And with that, he made a loud, almost indescribable wailing sound. Daisy rolled her eyes, and Luigi jumped back.

'AHHHHH! My bright red megaphone! Where art thou?! I would give anything to be able to hold my dear, sweet megaphone again...'

He quieted down a bit, and by that I mean he still cried just as hard but just into his hands now. While still leaning backwards.

'My sweet megaphone... at least we'll always have Lake Lamode...' He muttered one last time.

The backstage returned to an almost complete silence, aside from Morty's quiet sobs.

'Kay, so correct me if I'm wrong.' Daisy said. 'We're looking for a bright red saxophone, right?'

Scarlett flashed her a look.

'What? It was a joke! We'll help him find his precious megaphone.'

'Oh, don't worry about finding it.' The Slinker said. 'We already know where it is.'

Now it was time for Daisy to flash her a look.

'You serious? Then why don't you go and get it?!'

'That's the problem. Follow us.'

Scarlett and Brad floated over to the red TV on the far left. Its screen showed what appeared to be a cardboard box surrounded by nails and a plastic bottle. The two friendly ghosts proceeded to enter and disappear into the screen, with nothing more than a bright blue glow.

'What?!' Daisy exclaimed, peering at the TV. 'How are we supposed to do that?'

Luigi knelt down in front of the screen, and suddenly found himself allured by it. Why? Who knows. But he leaned forward, caught in the pull of the mysterious TV.

'Oooh…'

'They're here...' Some mysterious voice whispered to him.

'Uh, Luigi? What are you doing?'

He leaned in closer, so close his nose nearly touched the screen. Cyan sparks emitted by the TV clung onto his skin.

'Luigi!'

'Yah!'

The man in green jumped to his feet and backed away, batting at his nose to make those annoying sparks disappear.

'Why did you do that?' Daisy asked.

'I... don't know. It just, um, attracted me for some reason.'

Polterpup, now done with the roast turkey, scampered across the room and jumped into the screen, phasing through Luigi to do so.

'Ah! Boy, where are you going?'

Without really thinking, Luigi ducked through the TV screen after him. Wait, through? A mortal like him going through the solid glass? Well, yes. He slipped through the screen just like a ghost, and vanished into it.

Daisy's eyes shot wide open. 'AHH! Luigi, what the heck did you just do?!'

Luigi emerged as if he had stepped through a portal, and found himself in a totally different room. It highly resembled what was on the screen he just passed through. In fact, it was borderline identical.

Except, it turned out to be nothing more than a film set. The cardboard box and table-like floor were up against a blue screen, with a film camera pointed at it. Most noticeably, the box was actually huge. It had to be at least the size of a garage, and the nails were as tall as Luigi himself. The empty plastic bottle to the left of the box seemed big enough to be a simple spaceship. The whole thing made him feel like some sort of incredible shrinking man.

'Ooh...'

Scarlett and Brad waited for him, floating at the base of the gigantic box.

'Luigi?!'

'Ah!'

Daisy's terrified head stuck out of the TV behind him, looking around at her surroundings with increasing shock.

'Um, excuse me?! You go through the TV and end up in another set? How are you this okay with this?!'

Luigi shrugged. 'It kinda reminded me of the E-Gates from Evershade Valley.'

'Oh, I really need to go on your adventures more often.'

She pushed the rest of her body through, stumbling about as whatever the portal equivalent of jetlag is greeted her with a punch to the gut.

'Are doors too good for ya?!' She yelled in a slightly drunk manner.

'We're ghosts.' Brad said like it was obvious. 'We didn't bother building doors on this floor. So we use TVs to move our props around.'

'Yeah. Sure. Why not?'

Luigi gasped, happily for the first time in a while. The box, which appeared to be on its side, had the top flap of the lid open, leaning on a tall pencil. It revealed -

'Morty's megaphone!'

Yes, that. Narrating is my job, Luigi. Morty's sweet megaphone could be seen in the corner of the box. Just one problem. The shiny red object of desire was caught up in cobwebs, ones much thicker than those the plumber was used to.

The mortals stood next to the ghosts, all four parties looking up at the trapped device.

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'So... why don't you just yank it out?'

Scarlett crossed her arms. 'You think we haven't tried that? We gave up after the twentieth time.'

'Those cobwebs are impossible!' Brad added.

Polterpup, passing through the webs, grabbed onto the megaphone by the handle. He tugged on it, but it didn't budge at all.

Luigi remembered the last time he had to deal with cobwebs with a shudder. Oh, the Gloomy Manor. Those icky webs were absolutely everywhere, to the point where E. Gadd told him to clear them out using...

He snapped his fingers. 'Fire! You need to burn the cobwebs away!'

The two ghosts proceeded to look at each other with that 'why didn't we think of that' expression.

'Wait, you never thought to burn the webs away?' Daisy asked. 'Seriously?'

Scarlett put her chin in her hand. 'Well, to be fair, it's only been caught for five minutes.'

'Five mi-?! It's been lost for only five minutes? Why is Morty freaking out so much?!'

'If you knew Morty as well as we do, you'd be answering your own question.'

Luigi looked around the set for any source of fire, only to come up short. If only the Poltergust G-00 was capable of shooting fire like the 3000 model... Brad smiled as an idea dawned on him. He floated over to Scarlett, rubbing his hands like a villainess about to steal some puppies.

'Hey Scarly, you thinking what I'm thinking?'

Scarlett grinned. 'Sci-Fi set?'

'Sci-Fi set!'

'Alright! Let's go!'

The duo floated over to the TV and floated back through it. Brad stuck his head out and waved to the mortals.

'Second TV to the left. See ya in the Sci-Fi set!'


'My art! Oh how my art suffers! Do not slander the title 'director' by applying it to me! Without my megaphone, I am unworthy of carrying such a name!'

'Five minutes, dude. Five minutes. Hey - ow...'

'Please be nice.'


Following the ghosts' instructions, they had to go through the dark blue TV next to the red one. Luigi got a good look at the set before stepping through it. As opposed to the relatively mundane cardboard box, this set had a spaceship, it seemed. Well, it was the Sci-Fi set.

'You like Sci-Fi?' Daisy asked. 'Cos I do!'

Luigi shrugged. 'Eh. It's fine.'

'Arf arf arf!'

'Oh, but I think Polterpup really likes it. Uh, I think.'

Now the language barrier was really starting to annoy him, even if he had a better time communicating with Polterpup than with actual people who shared his language.

All three slipped through the TV, walking into it like an open door. It spat them out one at a time. First Luigi, then Daisy, and finally Polterpup. Of course, Polterpup could've simply gone through the walls, but that was no fun. Like the red TV, the dark blue one dropped them off right where it told them it would. This set was not too much different than the last, mostly thanks to sharing a blue screen that boxed the set in.

The big difference being, of course, the lack of any sort of giant box or nails and instead a fair-sized spaceship. It was not your conventional spaceship, however. Instead resembling anything like a rocket, it looked like, well, a big white disc. It had a cockpit to the side, and - how do you describe them? - giant triangles jutting out of the front. It seemed like they were meant to be one whole triangle, but were missing the middle piece.

Daisy put her hand on her hip. 'What a hunk of junk! It looks more like a delivery ship or something.'

Luigi shrugged. 'I think it looks cool.'

'Yip yip yip!'

'And I... think Polterpup agrees with me.'

One thing was missing though - the two ghosts they had followed to get here in the first place. They could hear what they guessed to be a quiet discussion, but from where was impossible to tell.

'You don't think they'd mind if we looked around the set, do you?' Daisy asked.

'Um, if we don't break anything, maybe?'

'Awesome.'

Considering that a good enough grant of permission, Daisy approached the ship prop. By that I mean, she got right underneath it. She looked at every little detail put into the bottom of it. The thing seemed to be made out of foam.

'I gotta admit,' She said. 'This baby's got some detail. But she won't be reaching light-speed any time soon.'

Luigi looked up at the cockpit. What did half of those buttons even do? On the plus side, it did have four comfortable looking seats.

'It looks pretty fast to me.'

'Heh. The fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.'

Polterpup sniffed what appeared to be a currently-closed entrance ramp. Now that was a bizarre scent. It smelled a bit - no better word for it - metallic.

'So... where are those ghosts?' Daisy asked.

'On the ship, maybe?'

'Alright. How do we get on?'

'I think the ramp's right here.'

In contrast to the rest of the bumpy underside, a rectangular area stood out as much flatter. They stood just behind where the ramp would supposedly go when it opened up.

Daisy crossed her arms. 'So where the keys for it?'

'Polterpup might be able to-'

The ramp opened, just an inch at first. Heavy steam seeped out of that tiny gap. Luigi jumped back, and Polterpup scampered away.

'Oh, so you're finally coming out?' Daisy said. 'Did you find something we can use to... uh...?'

The ramp slowly opened all the way and clanked against the floor, right at their feet. No ghosts could be seen past the pitch-black shadows, but loud metallic footsteps could be heard, coming at them slowly.

The sound was just like those of the suits of armour from the castle.

Daisy gulped. 'Uh... L-Luigi... y-you don't think that's a...?'

Luigi couldn't answer. The very thought of encountering those horrifying knights again made him too frightened to speak. The only sound that came from his mouth was clattering teeth.

A leg emerged from the shadows, making its way down the ramp. Unlike the rusted metal of the fallen knights, this leg was coated in shiny gold. Daisy stood behind Luigi, and involuntarily squeezed his shoulders. Polterpup hid behind one of the legs holding the ship up.

The metallic being took more steps down the ramp, the heavy sounds of its feet echoing in the empty, quiet set. Its golden exterior reflected the stagelights. The mortals took a couple steps back, unable to look anywhere else.

As the being made its way down the steps and out of the shadow, the rest of its body was revealed. It was surprisingly humanoid, much more so than the suits of armour, but its face was just human enough to not be too uncanny.

Not that it eased our heroes' worry. They stepped back a little more.

The being reached the bottom of the ramp, and stared at our heroes with its glowing yet lifeless eyes. It lifted its arm in a threatening manner - or, wait, is it just waving? No, definitely threatening.

Luigi and Daisy watched it in utter fear, waiting for whatever horrifying thing it would say.

'Hello!' It greeted with a friendly, British voice. 'I am See-Threepio, human cyborg rela-'

'AAHHHHH!' The mortals yelled together.

'AHHH!' The golden robot screamed as well, flailing his arms like they didn't move very well. 'What are we screaming about, sir?!'

'Do something, Luigi!'

Luigi grabbed his Poltergust from behind him - which took about five attempts - and shot a plunger that landed on the weird target-looking thing on the robot's stomach(?).

'Oh my!' The robot yelled. 'Get this confounded thing off m-!'

Daisy pushed Luigi aside and grabbed onto the rope herself. She flung the golden robot over her shoulders, and slammed him into the floor as hard as she could.

He broke apart into each of his individual pieces, which included everything breaking into both a front and a back piece. Luigi had to cover his ears to lessen the tremendous crashing sound that echoed in the empty room.

The parts rested in a large pile, the lights of the eyes burned out. The mortals breathed heavily as their hearts started beating again.

Daisy wiped her brow, an uncomfortable move considering the metal gloves. 'Oh thank Grambi... who knows what he would've done if we let him...'

Polterpup sniffed the shiny parts, picking up no mysterious smells at all. Nothing supernatural in the slightest.

Luigi's eyes widened. 'Wait... was he just waving at us?'

'Uh... yeah, I think he was.'

'Was... was he gonna do anything to us?'

Daisy was quiet for several seconds. 'Ah, crap.'

They stood there, letting the fact that they just murdered a potentially harmless robot sink in.

'What did you two do?!' Scarlett yelled from behind them.

They spun around and saw the friendly Slinker staring at them with her mouth agape and her jaw wide open. Brad was next to her, looking no less shocked. Luigi walked backwards away from this scene, only stopping when he nearly tripped over the golden robot's right arm.

Daisy tapped her fingers together. 'Uh, well, ya see... we thought he was going to attack us, so...'

'You mean Robby?' Brad said. 'He'd do more damage to himself in an actual battle!'

Daisy laughed like she was about to die, backing up until she too almost tripped over a metallic limb.

'Heh heh... I'm sure this is all just a little misunderstanding...'

Another ghost emerged from the spaceship, this one a Hammer. A Hammer who looked more than a little shocked at the destruction to boot. She looked at the mortals with anger in her empty eyes.

'MORTALS HURT METALHEAD! ANGELINA NEEDED METALHEAD FOR NEXT SCENE! METALHEAD WAS FRIEND!'

Scarlett grabbed her arm and pulled her away, nice and gently. I know that Angelina's death glare was an empty threat - the ghosts in the Paranormal Production preferred peace after all - but the mortals didn't.

'We're sorry!' Luigi cried. 'We didn't know that he was-'

Brad rubbed his temples. 'No. It's alright. Believe me, it'll be fine.'

Daisy picked up the disembodied head of the golden robot, the one set of pieces that stayed together, mostly to look at its handiwork. Whoever built this robot clearly knew what they were doing.

'Poor guy.' She said, rubbing her thumb over the forehead. 'I bet he just wanted to greet us before we-'

The lights in the eyes turned back on. 'AHH! Look what you've done to me!'

'YIKES!'

She inadvertently threw it out of her hands and into the air. Luigi yelped, and reached his arms out to grab it. The first attempt only made the now-functioning head bounce to the right. The second attempt made it go to the left.

'What are you doing?' The golden robot fussed. 'Stop that now!'

The third attempt went a lot better - Luigi grabbed the head with both hands this time. Said hands were very shaky.

'You're... you're okay?' Luigi asked, rather unsure if this was really happening.

'Of course I'm okay! I'm talking to you, am I not? Just look at what you humans did to me!'

'How were we supposed to know you were friendly?' Daisy yelled.

'I was about to tell you before you smashed me to pieces!'

To say the least, the golden robot already seemed like quite the whiner. Scarlett swooped into the scene, and carefully took the shiny head out of Luigi's hands.

'Now now HAL,' She said, floating away to put him on a box. 'There's no need to get mad.'

'There's plenty need to get mad!' He complained back. 'My body is in pieces! And my name is not Hal. I am See Th-'

'Take it easy, HAL.'

Brad had his face buried in his hand, sighing in exasperation. Whether it was due to the entire incident or just the robot's complaining was unclear.

'This visit was a little more annoying than I thought it'd be.' He said. 'But on the bright side, Angelina let us borrow this.'

From behind his back, he pulled out a, uh... white sword handle that very vaguely resembled an old film camera lens. He tossed it to Daisy, who caught it with grace.

She held it up. 'What the heck is this?'

'Our solution to our cobweb problem!' Brad announced.

Luigi and Daisy looked at the sword handle thing, sharing the same thoughts about how the heck that would help at all.

Scarlett returned to the group, minus the robot head. 'Back to the Micro set!'

'Uh, what about the-?' Luigi tried to ask.

'Never mind HAL. Angelina will put him back together. Let's go!'

And they all left the set with the sword handle thing in hand, leaving behind Angelina and the golden robot.

The golden robot's head rested on a box, being forced to watch the Hammer try and fail to put his body back together. Considering that she was trying to connect a hand to a knee, you can guess how well that was going.

Okay, if I have to keep calling him 'the golden robot', I'm going to lose it. He mentioned his name earlier. What was it? Hey, robot head, what's your name?

'My name is See-'

Shinypants! What a brilliant name!

If Shinypants had the lungs to sigh, he absolutely would have at that moment.


'Okay, now I need you to stand right there...' Scarlett said from behind the camera. 'Right there...'

Luigi, Daisy, and Polterpup did as they were told, and stood in the middle of the Micro set. Luigi stood still as a post, his wide eyes staring through the camera lens.

'So what are we supposed to do?' Daisy asked. 'Both in regards to standing still and using this, uh, thing.'

'Be patient.' Brad said from behind Scarlett. 'Once this camera is on, you'll see a whole new definition of movie magic.'

After a little bit of fiddling, Scarlett turned the camera on. And everything changed.

The giant box and the like remained, but the blue screen that surrounded them transformed. No longer were they on a set. The walls turned to a wide, open - and astronomically huge - workshop, with a desk and shelves covered with various tools. The floorboards they stood on turned out to be a small table, suspending them miles above the floor. Where was the camera? They couldn't see it anymore.

'Whoa!' Daisy exclaimed. 'Hang on. What?!'

'AHHH!'

The weirdest part of this already weird situation? They could not recall seeing the place transform. It wasn't even 'normal one second, crazy the next'. As far as they could remember, the set had always been this expansive.

'Don't worry!' Scarlett's voice came from... somewhere. 'This is exactly what is supposed to happen.'

Polterpup flew away to one of the shelves, and noted the sheer size of a wrench in comparison to himself. The tool was solid, but surely he'd be far away enough to have left the hotel entirely.

Daisy pinched the bridge of her nose. 'They can never spare a second to warn us, can they? And we had to be thrown into whatever this is... why?'

'The box can only open up when the camera's rolling.' Scarlett answered. 'So it won't break before its time.'

'Uh-huh. Right. And how do we do that?'

Luigi noticed a red 'fragile' sticker stuck onto the stapled-up flap, and thought it looked a lot like a target. He fired out a plunger onto it, and nailed a bullseye.

'Wow. Do you even need me here?' Daisy joked.

'Yes.' He replied, leaving it at that.

'Oh. Um... thanks. It was a joke, by the way.'

He dragged the rope back as far as it would go, neither mortal noticing the box shuffling around slightly.

'Oh, and I should warn you.' Brad said from a disembodied realm. 'There's a-'

Luigi yanked on the rope and tore the box open before Brad could finish his warning, which turned out to be an awful idea as OH MY GRAMBI!

Ahem... as from the opened box emerged a giant spider that unleashed a horrid shrieking sound the moment it was set free. It rushed at our heroes in an unrelenting struggle. Daisy stepped back, just a little - okay, very - surprised at the arachnid coming at her. Luigi on the other hand...

'AHHH! SPIIIDER!'

He shielded his face from the menacing bug, backing away as much as he could before Daisy stopped him from falling off the ledge. Terrible memories of the Gloomy Manor came back to him.

Not the Spider Queen... not the Spider Queen!

'Luigi. Luigi? Luigi!'

'Y-Yeah?' His voice came out as a squeak.

'It's a prop.'

His cheeks turned a bright red. Yep, the giant spider thing in front of him was made of plastic, no matter how realistic-looking it was.

'Spiders...' He muttered. 'Why did it have to be spiders?'

'So Daisy,' Brad said. 'Do you still have that sword thing?'

Daisy didn't see the need for the question, since she was already holding it.

'You wanna tell me what it does now?'

'Press that big red button, and for the love of Jaydes hold it away from you. I learnt that the hard way.'

With a shrug, she did just that. She didn't expect much at all, so you can imagine her surprise when a green laser blade shot out of one end of the handle.

'Whoa!' She cried. 'Oh, that's so cool!'

The laser sword made a mechanical hum, and emitted a powerful green glow. She swung it around like a drunk pirate.

Luigi yelped and ducked as the blade swung a little too close to his face. 'Watch where you swing that thing!'

'It's just a prop. There's no way it'll-'

For some reason Daisy had still not learnt her lesson about not tempting fate. She swung the blade through the spider prop's body, straight down the middle. It left a scorching scar all the way through, before the two halves fell pathetically inwards into a pile.

Luigi and Daisy stared at the accidental destruction for a few silent seconds.

'Don't worry about that!' Scarlett said. 'Everything resets itself when the camera's off anyway.'

'And as for the blade,' Brad added. 'It only works when the camera's on.'

Daisy swung the sword again, slicing one of the legs off. 'Well that's disappointing. Whatever. Let's get that megaphone and get out of here!'

She pushed the two halves aside and walked right on in between them, leaving Luigi to wonder how she could do that without being squicked out. He opted to go around it.

Daisy looked up at the web for a moment. As tempting as it was to simply laser-sword through it, it probably wasn't a good idea to slice the megaphone into pieces. She held the green blade up to the cobwebs, and they caught on fire. The embers travelled up each branch of the sticky string, consuming every inch of it. The webbing vanished with a literal puff of smoke, and the megaphone fell right into her free hand.

'Huh. That was easy.' She remarked with a shrug. Not that she was complaining.

And for once, it wasn't 'too easy'. They had it. Simple as that. Who knew!

'Awesome!' Scarlett said. 'Now just step out of the box, or it'll trap you in.'

Deciding that questioning anything about this was pointless, Daisy did as instructed. The gigantic workshop vanished, and returned to a mundane blue screen. The box flap went back to being stabled on, and the set came back into view. Just like before, no one saw it happening, but now they could at least remember everything looking weird, even if it felt like a memory from years ago.

As for Scarlett and Brad, the scenery didn't change at all. There was no workshop, or giant spider, or even laser sword. Everything that happened could only be truly seen through the camera lens. Polterpup, now at his owner's feet, looked around in utter shock. Since when was he here? Wasn't he miles away a second ago? It didn't feel like a second ago.

Brad gave them a thumbs-up. 'And cut! Good job guys. Let's get that megaphone back to its rightful owner!'

The friendly ghosts popped through the red TV again, leaving our heroes behind.

Luigi stared at the megaphone with a rather incredulous expression. 'Am I the only one who thinks this is really weird?'

'What? What could you possibly find weird about a friendly golden robot or a set that completely transforms into a giant workshop?'

'No, I mean... is this really it? We needed to find the megaphone. Now we have it. I feel like we were supposed to do more. We don't even know where the other two TVs lead.'

'After that garden mess, I appreciate the easier time.'

As the trio went for the TV, they didn't seem to realise that this was indeed not the end of the Paranormal Productions.


'What's an artist without a brush, huh? A chef without a knife? A dog without a bag of trash?! Nothing! Without my megaphone, I'm nothing too! No... I'm less than nothing!'

Usually, Luigi would hate the mere thought of talking to someone he didn't know well. But the joyous anticipation he felt was more than enough to overpower his nerves.

'Mr Morty!' He cried out in joy. 'We found your megaphone!'

In spite of the good news, Morty continued to weep into his hands. 'No! Do not promise me such things! My sweet, sweet megaphone will never be returned to my side... OOOH, how will I possibly move on without thee, megaphone!'

Daisy rolled her eyes with a sigh, and stood in front of that overdramatic ghost. She grabbed his forehead and forced him to look at her.

'Here it is!' She declared, shoving it into his arms. 'Happy now?'

He stared at the megaphone in his hands, like he just uncovered the world's biggest diamond and couldn't believe it. His gaped mouth slowly morphed into a massive smile.

'MY SWEET MEGAPHONE!'

In an impressive display, he flew into the air and twirled around like an enchanted ice-skater, embracing the chromatic device like it was his long lost teddy bear.

'Oh, we are finally reunited! After so long, I thought I'd never see you again... but here you are! I can FEEL the inspiration flowing through my veins as I touch your beautiful plastic!'

Luigi watched him with a little wholesome smile, while Daisy genuinely chuckled. Morty floated back down, refusing to let go of his precious object. That was until he glanced at the one who delivered it to him in the first place. The moment his eyes fell upon Daisy, the megaphone slipped out of his hands and onto the floor.

'Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE!'

He grabbed the princess by the shoulders and pulled her in.

'Hey!' She yelled. 'Let go of me!'

Luigi, in a knee-jerk reaction, grabbed his flashlight and aimed it. He was about to charge it up, when Scarlett put her hand on his shoulder.

'Just give it a moment.' She said. 'It'll be okay!'

Morty's eyes darted up and down, and he smiled even wider than before. He soared up like a loop-de-looping airplane, and spread his arms and tail like an exploding firework.

'Yes! YES! I've done it! I've found her... the perfect actress to be in my movie!'

'Wait, what?!'

'Look at that fiery passion in her eyes! Marvel at the strength of her spirit. Be HYPNOTISED by her daring voice!'

Still floating in the middle of the air, he pulled out a full-on script from his pocket and tossed it her way. She managed to catch it, though it did slam into her chest.

'Read that treatment, my fletching actress! That is the treatment that will make you a star! No... no no... a SUPERSTAR! It's an offer you cannot refuse!'

Daisy's mind was racing a hundred a minute at that moment, completely discombobulated by whatever the heck was going on. Luigi just watched the whole thing unable to piece anything together. Scarlett and Brad weren't surprised at all.

The confused princess looked down at the treatment, and read the front page.

The Heroine and Her Robot Partner (Working Title), Treatment by Morty Spookus.

Out of morbid curiosity, she looked at the first page.

The movie begins with the titular heroine and her robot partner flying a ship in outer space.

She stifled a laugh. 'What?'

Morty floated back down to the ground, and clapped his hands twice. 'Where's my assistant? In the director's room, correct? Scarlett, Brad, deliver her to my room at once! She must get ready for her new future!'

At this point, Daisy stopped caring. Any objections, such as 'we have to leave' or 'I did not consent to this'? Too much energy. Forget it, Daisy - it's the Last Resort. She allowed Scarlett and Brad to drag her to the director's room near the entrance.

Luigi slapped his cheeks, and couldn't comprehend the fact that this was actually happening.

Morty's head snapped to him. 'Young man!'

He jumped back. 'GAH! Y-You talking to me?' He looked around. 'Well, I'm the only one here...'

Please don't ask me to be a star too... No way he could handle the pressure of being in front of a camera like Daisy could.

'Though you yourself have the PERFECT qualities to be a star, I am so sad to mention that - alas - this movie is already booked out. I am so sorry! But do not be distraught. You can help as well, and I will make sure that your name is twice as big as mine in the credits!'

Luigi sighed in relief. Upon thinking about it again, he did kinda want to be in a movie, at least one with Daisy. Oh well. If this movie that they were apparently making now was successful, there'd be another chance.

'Such as right this very glorious moment!' Morty continued. 'You sir shall help me get my robot friend ready for shooting! Come with me to the Sci-Fi set.'

And any relief Luigi felt didn't exist anymore.

'Ah! Um...' He said. 'About that. I kind of-'

Morty had already gone through the TV. Luigi gulped, and went in too.


Daisy hadn't quite expected Morty's assistant to be a female Oozer - named Meryl according to her name tag - who was done-up in heavy make-up. Oh, and spoke in an accent that was some weird Russian-French-German combination.

The princess couldn't even pay attention to anything in Morty's somewhat messy director's room, thanks to Meryl giving her a doubting look with her chin in her hand.

'Yes, you are - how Morty say - perfect.' Meryl said. 'But Morty's crazy movies demand more zan perfection. And you... you are not eet.'

Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'How you gonna make me more than perfect, exactly?'

Meryl turned to a small desk in the back corner of the room. Tons of make-up supplies - all entirely her own - dotted the surface. She picked up a little powder puff.

Daisy groaned. 'Sorry. I'm not much of a make-up lady. What I'm wearing right now is all I'll ever do.'

The Oozer glared at her. 'Why do you say zat? Eet is zee only way to improve on your perfection. Now, hold still sweetie.'

The princess stood still for about half a second, until Meryl began powdering her cheeks. It just served to remind her how little she cared about applying that much make-up to begin with, and she couldn't help but fidget around a bit.

'Eet might take a while for you to reach Morty's view of further perfection. And eet will take longer if you do not sit still.'

Daisy would've complied with her request, if only to get out of this sooner, but that scattering powder tickled her nose like crazy. Any moment she might-

'AAAHH-CHOOOO!'

Yeah, that. Another reason she wasn't the most keen on heavy make-up. Meryl leaned back with her eyes as wide as they could go, with her face covered in the powder.

Daisy blushed, just a little. 'Uh, sorry.'

The ghost wiped her face clean. 'So eet seems you are not so keen on powder. I'm... sure I'll find a way to make eet work.'

Daisy grumbled to herself. 'Of all the hotels in all the kingdoms in all the world... I walk into this one.'


'WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR GLORIOUS ROBOT FRIEND?!'

Luigi arrived to see Morty staring at the crime scene in exaggerated shock. More specifically, the scene of Angelina trying to connect the foot directly to the neck while Shinypants's head continued to complain at her.

'What are you doing?!' Shinypants whined. 'That part doesn't go there! Where do you think it goes?'

On one hand, kind of a jerk for complaining about help. On the other, right about Angelina having no clue what she was doing.

The Hammer in question slumped her shoulders. 'Angelina sorry about Metalhead. Metalhead all broken. Angelina can't put Metalhead back together.'

Shinypants scoffed. 'And with craftsmanship like that it's no wonder my body is still a scrap heap on the ground! All thanks to that human standing beside you!'

Morty, caring none for whoever was to blame, collapsed to the floor and proceeded to weep some more.

'Oh, how cruel fate is! I finally get my sweet megaphone back, only for my co-star to be in literal pieces! How will my greatest film yet ever get made now?!'

Luigi couldn't feel any more bad for this director, and felt guilt on his shoulders, even if it was just an accident.

'Um... can't you do the movie with, er, someone else?' He asked.

Morty shook his head. 'It cannot be! The co-star must be of robotic nature! His metallic make-up contrasts with the heroine's organic origin, and he is programmed to be caring and diplomatic. And it's a metaphor! A metaphor for being human-like, yet feeling as though one simply does not fit in with organic people no matter how hard one tries!'

Though Luigi knew nothing about the character himself, he already liked him.

Brad arrived through the TV, not surprised by the sight at all. 'Well, the movie's definitely dead now. Hey Robby! How long do you think it'll take to get your body back together?'

'Hmph! At the rate Mistress Angelina is working, it'll take approximately seventy-four years, eight months, five days, sixteen-'

The Mini-Oozer groaned. 'Best case scenario, please?'

'I calculate that, in the best case scenario, it would take one hour, twenty-four minutes, seven seconds, and three-hundred-and-ninety-six milliseconds for my body to be returned to its former glory.'

Luigi stepped up to the remains of - how many names did he have? What was his name for real? He had to come up with one for him. Anyway, he approached the shiny gold trash pile. He picked up one of the arm pieces, marvelling its lovely shine.

'There is one way to get it done faster, Master Brad.' Shinypants continued. 'If you were to have a skeleton of sorts to put my parts on, you'd be able to build me much faster. It'd only take approximately five minutes, assuming everything clicks together.'

The moment Shinypants mentioned 'a skeleton', Brad glanced at Luigi. The man in green still held the half of an arm, which now that Brad looked at it closer...

'Wait a minute!' He yelled. 'Everyone, hold the presses! I think we have the solution to our problem standing right in front of us.'

Everyone, even the distressed Morty, looked to him in anticipation. He yanked the arm piece out of Luigi's hand, and picked up the other half from the floor.

'Hold still, Plumber Boy.'

'Um... what are you...?'

Brad lifted his left arm and forced it to stay straight out. He took the two pieces, and placed them over Luigi's forearm like a puzzle piece. A couple clicks later, the two pieces stuck over the plumber's arm. A perfect fit.

Morty's eyes sparkled, and his big smile returned. 'Of course! How could I not see it before? Young man! What is your name?'

Luigi gawked at the golden forearm he now had. 'Uh... L-Luigi?'

'Luigi? What a perfect name! It inspires all with hope and trust! Luigi, did you know that you've just singlehandedly saved my entire movie? Not only do you have the perfect build for our amazing costume, but you have that gorgeous compassion and kindness in your eyes and voice that this role demands! You simply MUST be part of my movie!' He paused. 'Unless, of course, you do not desire to. I would absolutely be okay if you denied!'

Brad, before any more answers, put the rest of the left arm together. Luigi felt like a cyborg, with that robotic limb. He squinted from the light reflecting into his eyes, and he could barely move his fingers at all.

But he didn't have the heart to say 'no'. Not with Daisy's acting career on the line.

'I... I'll do it.'

Morty clapped like a child in a chocolate factory. 'Wonderful, my aspiring actor! I can guarantee you that you shall not disappoint! We will have to make some slight adjustments though. Our robot's head will certainly not fit yours, so we'll have to make your character a cyborg instead...'

He rambled on a list of changes that would be befitting the new - and brilliant - upcoming actor, as Brad continued to put the suit together around Luigi.

The plumber felt the cold metal being clicked over his clothes. It felt like donning a mascot suit, albeit a lot less sweaty. Though it conformed to his build almost perfectly, he already knew his movement was gonna be very, very stiff.

'Oh, you're not putting my parts over him, are you?' Shinypants complained. 'Of all the people to replace me, you chose a plumber? He'll get me all dirty and grungy!'

'Oh shut up, HAL!' Scarlett yelled, despite not being in the room.

'Don't worry, um, Mr Daniels.' Luigi said. 'I'll keep you clean.'

Shinypants would normally complain about yet another stupid nickname, but he had to admit that 'Mr Daniels' was significantly better than 'Robby' or 'Metalhead'.

'I would love to watch this costume be fully realised!' Morty said. 'But, alas, I must check up on our brilliant actress. I fear that my assistant Meryl may try to improve on her perfection when improving on her perfection is impossible!'

As Morty left the room and Brad continued to put the costume together, Luigi had to wonder...

What had he just gotten himself into?

From today, he thought to himself, I'm officially considering myself the unluckiest man on the face of this planet.

Author Notes - Morty is a delight. I love writing drama queens.

Sprinkled throughout both this chapter and the next are a bunch of references to various movies, whether it be in the form of famous quotes or familiar-sounding similes.

It's incredibly tempting to have Shinypants accompany our heroes on the rest of the journey, but I think it's best if he remains at the Paranormal Productions.

(Okay, but seriously, See-Threepio is not my creation and is owned by Disney... I think. I'm sure everyone knows that, but I just wanna be clear. His nicknames are taken from various famous robotic characters in various movies.)


Angelina did not initially approve of being the one to investigate that loud crash outside, until she saw the crash site. It seemed to be a spaceship. Even more shocking, some sort of metal space creature, completely made of gold, emerged from it!

And he was quite the complainer too. Angelina listened to his whole story. Apparently, he had been around for thousands of years before he crashed his ship onto this planet, quite the miracle considering how bad of a pilot he was.

Most importantly, he had been through a lot. A LOT. Including the loss of a dear friend of his, someone he called 'Artoo'. Well, Angelina had no idea what he was going on about, but she knew one thing - he definitely needed a home now.

Morty welcomed him into their safe haven with open arms. And considering how much this space creature hated space travel, he graciously accepted another planet to call home.