Author Notes - Presenting: Serlida and B-GO, starring Princess Daisy as Serlida and Luigi as B-GO/Beegio! Well, more so the production behind the movie. Even with paranormal powers, Morty still needs the bare basics of a scene to work with.

Not only is this floor a 'Breather Level' in the game itself, it kinda is in the story too. Though the darker moments are not totally gone, the tone is much lighter (if the guest appearance by C-3PO didn't make that obvious).

And, needless to say, when we get to the Museum and the Boilerworks (and beyond), things won't stay light for long. So note that the tone in this chapter is intentionally completely different to the darker tone the story will have from here on out.

The astute of you may have noticed that I've been making minor changes to my cover page occasionally. Well, you also may have noticed that there's a less... minor change this time.

As always, appreciation to those who favourite/follow, including the newest stargirldnc2001!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - THE SUPERSTARS' SAGA

Brad wiped his brow. 'Phew! That was a little harder than I thought it'd be. But it's done!'

Luigi, done almost entirely up in that shiny robotic suit, felt incredibly sheepish. Not to mention restricted. The costume felt only slightly lighter and less cumbersome than a full suit of armour, and the light it reflected hurt his eyes.

'Green man pull suit off well!' Angelina said, clapping her hands. 'Green man look better in suit than Metalhead!'

'I'm right here, you know! Though, I must admit, he does pull off the look rather well.'

Something dawned on Luigi in that moment - he hadn't moved an inch since the arm pieces were clicked on. He lifted one of his arms up, finding himself fighting against a heavy weight in desperate need of oiling. His arm moved and could wave, but not nearly as smoothly as it usually could. The metal clinked against itself, creating a plinking sound he kinda liked. As the joints moved, they made a mechanical whirling sound. Oh, and his fingers couldn't move at all.

Polterpup barked at Shinypants, not aggressively but in a causal manner one would use for a conversation, with a smug look on his muzzle.

'He does not look better in my body than I do!' Shinypants yelled.

'Arf arf arf? Yip yip!'

'I beg your pardon? I'll have you know I've travelled hundreds of parsecs through space before I crash-landed on this planet! I will not put up with your insulting speak, you mangy glob of slobber!'

Luigi was about ready to scold Shinypants for talking to his pet like that, until he realised that Shinypants was communicating with his pet. He struggled against the janky suit, but managed to turn around to get a better look at the robotic head.

'You... you can understand him?' He asked. 'Like, have a two-sided conversation, understand him?'

'Why, of course I can!' Shinypants replied. 'I am fluent in over seven million forms of communication.'

'Seven... million?'

'It is what I am programmed for, Master Luigi. And I must say, your troublemaking pet could certainly use some etiquette lessons.'

Luigi was simply stunned. He barely knew one form of communication, and here was this guy knowing over seven million!

Brad snapped his fingers. 'Oh! Thanks for reminding me, Robby. Luigi, you need one more thing.'

The Mini-Oozer rummaged through a trunk on the set, and fished out a small object resembled a clip-on earphone.

'I found this just a few hours ago, in some old car in the garage. Turned out to be a universal translator thing. You'll need it for your role.'

Luigi got a quick glance at the 'universal translator thing', seeing what appeared to be an E. Gadd symbol, before Brad clipped it over his ear.

'Seven million forms of communication... yet you don't know a single form of self-defence.'

Luigi looked around the room. Who the heck was that voice? Had someone else invaded their safe haven?

'If I weren't just a head, I'd show you what I'm capable of!'

'Oh really? What do you do?'

'I, er... I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction.'

'Oh, I get it! You keep blabbering on so much, most opponents hurtle themselves off cliffs just so they can stop hearing you talk.'

It took Luigi getting through a lot of disbelief until he realised that overly sarcastic voice was coming from Polterpup. He put two and two together in seconds, and it made him smile.

'Hey Polterpup!'

The dog stopped laughing at the robot head. 'Yes, Master?'

'Thanks to this universal translator thingy Brad just gave me, I can understand you!'

Polterpup's jaw fell wide open, while Shinypants insisted a mere earphone could never replace him.

'Wait, you mean it? Repeat after me - pickled fish lips.'

'Um, pickled fish lips?'

'YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME!'

The excited puppy bolted to his owner, high on pure happiness. Luigi laughed alongside his doggy's joy, until he realised that his dog was coming at him very, very fast.

He tried to put his arms up, looking more like a badly-controlled puppet. 'Wait! Stop!'

Too late. Polterpup bashed into the metallic chest and sent Luigi plummeting backwards with a heavy clank. Polterpup proceeded to lick his cheeks to death.

'You can understand me! YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME!'

Normally, Luigi would get back up. Unfortunately, it turned out that falling over in that suit was almost literally a death sentence. He didn't know how to even begin getting up from that position.

'Um... help?'


Scarlett could've helped Brad get the suit together, but she just had to see Morty's reaction to Meryl's insistence on improving past perfection. Daisy stood in the corner, her face totally bare of any make-up not already there, and pouted. Meryl had her own make-up messed up, and she stoically faced down a distraught Morty.

'I am so sorry, Morty, but eet seems zat our newest actress refuses to let me improve her perfection further.'

Morty stammered for a bit. 'What... what are you saying, Meryl? When I said help her, I meant get her into character. Help her prepare her spirit for the greatest moment in her lifetime! Not slather her perfect face with your cursed powders and eyeliners!'

Scarlett chuckled. This argument only got funnier every time.

'But I do not understand.' Meryl said. 'I do agree zat Miss Daisy ees as perfect as zey get, but why do you always insist zat any given actor ees perfect?'

'BECAUSE, my lovely assistant, they ARE always perfect! Short, tall, fat, skinny, light, dark, alive, dead, missing three limbs... all are perfect! No... MORE than perfect! And sweet, fiery Daisy... she is MORE than MORE than perfect! Unless the scene demands it, we never mess with our actors' perfection!'

Daisy blushed a little. Not even Luigi ever got to this level of flattery. She couldn't believe her initial distrust. Even though he was as dramatic as you could get, she had to admit that he was pretty dang nice.

'DAISY!' Morty cried. 'It is time for us to start filming the first scene! Your co-star is done up in the most amazing of costumes, and is ready to go.'

'Wait, huh? But I haven't read the scr-'

'I can guarantee it to you Daisy, that this will be a movie of not just your lifetime, but your afterlifetime too! Ever heard of 'carpe diem'? SEIZE THE DAY, ACTORS! Make your lives EXTRAORDINARY!'


SERLIDA AND B-GO

CAST LISTING -

PRINCESS DAISY as SERLIDA - The heroine of the story. Has a fiery passion and great strive for justice, but is hard-headed and impulsive. Loves saving and helping others, but can get carried away. Talented pilot and shooter.

LUIGI as B-GO/BEEGIO - Serlida's cyborg friend. Timid and scared of everything, but has a strong heart. Hates getting into adventures, but will do what he has to. Mostly comedic relief, but contains great potential.

POLTERPUP as BUDDY - Beegio's loyal ghost dog. Will defend his owner fiercely. Was not originally in the treatment, but Luigi insisted he join the movie.


SCENE ONE, OUTER SPACE

Daisy giggled. 'Nice costume. Can you move in it at all?'

Luigi, with great difficulty, waved at her. 'Uh, not well.'

There they were, on the Sci-Fi set. The ramp to the oddly-shaped ship was still out, except this time the awe-inspiring lights on the inside had been turned on. Morty stood behind the camera, looking at the beginnings of his masterpiece through the lens. Scarlett, Brad, Angelina, Leonardo, and Meryl chilled behind him, and Shinypants's head rested in Scarlett's arms.

'Now, my wonderful actor and actress,' Morty announced. 'Get onto that glorious ship and take your place in the cockpit!'

Daisy raised her hand like a student. 'Question! Where the heck of the script?'

'Script? My movies do not have a script! Why force my actors to conform to someone else's written word when they can unleash their genuine real selves? My actors simply get on stage and GO! That is how the best movies are made!'

And if the two weren't already worried about what was to come, they definitely were now.

'Is it too late to-?' Daisy began.

'We must start this beautiful scene at once! This scene will engage our anticipating audience immediately, drawing them into our epic adventure! Here, they will get their first impressions of the fiery and determined Serlida, and the timid but kind Beegio. It's a perfect introduction! ONWARDS!'

Seeing as they were now stuck in this situation, lest they say 'no' to such a friendly and enthusiastic ghost, they proceeded up the ramp. Daisy got on without an issue, but thanks to the cumbersome costume Luigi needed Polterpup pushing on him to get him up.

The ship set looked far more impressive on the inside. The ramp led directly into a futuristic but grungy tunnel. Daisy rushed down it, to where the signs said the cockpit was. Luigi instead took his sweet time, checking out all the impressive details. It wasn't like that confounded outfit he had to wear let him walk fast in any way.

Approaching the cockpit, Luigi took note of everything, like all the buttons and pipes that spanned almost the entire walk. When he finally found the four-seated-cockpit, he also saw Daisy already in the front left seat with her hands on the wheel. With even more difficulty than the costume already put him through, he slowly sat down in the right front seat. Polterpup took his own seat behind Daisy.

The cockpit was loaded with buttons, most of which without any sort of legible labels. Daisy turned the wheel about aimlessly, still not entirely sure what to expect.

'Alright Mr Morty,' She said. 'I'm ready for my close-up.'

'Scene one!' Morty declared. 'ACTION!'

Just like the Micro set, this one transformed as well. The blue screen vanished, replaced by the vast emptiness of space itself. And it wasn't just static either. You could tell by the moving stars that they were flying through it too.

And just like the set transforms, so does the prose.

LUIGI and DAISY look on with shock at the sudden change of scenery. Luigi watches it in utter awe.

LUIGI
(mesmerised)
Wow... it's beautiful...

DAISY
(looking all around in shock)
Wait, this is a script format now? How the heck did that happen?

LUIGI
(looking at her in confusion)
Um... what are you talking about?

Daisy is about to answer his question, but decides it's best not to. She glances down at her steering wheel.

DAISY
(wondering out loud)
Wait, so will the wheel actually work?

For the heck of it, Daisy tilts the wheel forward. This results in the ship diving straight down in a nosedive. Which is impressive, seeing as there is no down in space.

Luigi screams in complete panic.

DAISY
(no less panicked)
Oh sweet Grambi!

Daisy pulls back on the wheel, getting the ship to fly straight again. She waits for Morty to yell 'CUT', but he doesn't. So Daisy continues the scene.

MORTY
(off-screen, in his usual dramatic fashion)
Allow me to catch you up on the scene! Our heroic Serlida has had to flee her home planet when a horrific beast attacked her city! She and her best friend Beegio have been forced to escape into space for a chance of survival! But little do they know that the beast has sent her space soldiers after them!

DAISY
(looking completely shocked)
Wait, what?! Excuse me? What the heck kinda plot is that?

MORTY
(seemingly oblivious to her comment)
The best kind, my actress! The kind that knows not to conform to any restrictions. The kind that just has fun with itself! A fun movie is a great movie!

LUIGI
(smiling)
I like it!
(smile disappears as a horrible realisation dawns on him)
Wait, after us?!

MORTY
You and no-one else! Now, don't think too hard about it. Just throw yourself into the story and have fun! And most importantly, don't take it too seriously. Acting is a glorious experience that should be fun for everyone! GO!

Luigi and Daisy sit in silence for a few moments, wondering what to do next. Daisy decides to not give a poison mushroom and just wing in. She leans forward in her chair, and puts on an overly-serious face.

DAISY
(dead serious to the point of comedy)
We barely escaped with our lives, Beegio. That horrific beast decimated all we knew and loved. Worse yet, she gave us cookies that were TOO CHEWY!

LUIGI
What.

DAISY
If we have even a chance to survive, we have to go-
(pause)
wherever the heck we're going. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night...

Luigi laughs at her over-acting, before realising he should say something too. Unfortunately, the knowledge of the camera locks him up a bit.

LUIGI
(stuttering like crazy)
Uh-uh, um, y-yeah, the evil beast and her space- wait no, they haven't appeared yet. Um, I am here to, uh... something something.
(puts his face in his hands, with difficulty)
I've already screwed up, haven't I?

MORTY
Do not worry, my amazing Luigi! We'll simply fix this all in post!

SHINYPANTS
(off-screen)
Preferably by dubbing my voice over his!

SCARLETT
(off-screen)
The more you complain, the less likely that'll be.

The scene continues peacefully for about two seconds, when a flurry of green lasers fly past the windshield. Both heroes yell in surprise, while POLTERPUP seems to be having the time of his life. A swarm of several ENEMY SPACESHIPS - which resemble your typical 'dinner plate UFOs' - fly into view, firing green lasers at our heroes. Fortunately, their aim is poor.

DAISY
(facepalming, speaking like she was in some cheesy 80's cartoon)
Great galloping galaxies! The beast has sent out her space soldiers to blast us into space dust! Oh, I should've known someone as evil and despicable as her would hunt us down like this while we're fleeing. That fiend! Destroying our homes was one thing, but this is a whole other layer!

Luigi tries to hold his arms up, but the restrictive moment won't allow it.

LUIGI
(terrified)
Luke! Uh, I mean... look! D-Do something Dai- I mean, Serlida! They'll kill us if we let them!

Daisy narrows her eyes.

DAISY
Not if I can help it! FIRE AWAY!

Daisy presses a random button, and... confetti falls on her. Groaning, she presses another. This results in disco music playing with accompanying lights, until she pushes the button again. Frustrated, she hits a third. This one actually fires some lasers at one of the enemy ships, destroying it in a glorious explosion. Because explosions can happen in the vacuum of space now.

DAISY
YEE-HAW! I love the smell of gunfights in the morning!

Luigi is breathless. Literally, he can't breathe at all, despite this being a time he'd breathe like nuts. Considering his character is a cyborg, it's most likely the camera magic is preventing him from breathing.

LUIGI
(trying his hardest to point)
L-Look out, Serlida!

One of the enemy ships fires a shot, which is heading right for their windshield.

DAISY
Not if I have anything to say about it! This baby may be a hunk of junk, but she's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy!

Daisy grabs the wheel and DOES A BARREL ROLL! to the left. She has her seatbelt on, but Luigi does not.

LUIGI
Wahhh!

He tumbles out of his seat and lands in a heap. If he had a stomach - which he apparently didn't have now either - he would be throwing up profusely.

LUIGI
(moaning)
Owie...

DAISY
(leaning forward in her chair, turning the ship around and firing at more ships)
Sorry Beegio. I'd love to help ya out, but if I don't demolish these space rats soon, we'll all be sent tumbling.
(waits a moment)
See? There aren't any left.

Cue the PEW PEW that makes her fling the ship around haphazardly.

LUIGI
(still on the floor)
There are too!

DAISY
(grumbles)
Look Beegio, I can already bust ghosts by hand. Don't make me do everything solo! I don't need your attitude!

Luigi looks at her incredulously, as if thinking 'you are already WAY too into this'. Due to the sheer impossibility of moving in that suit, he is stuck on that floor until the end of the scene.

LUIGI
(alerted to the above paragraph)
Wait, what?! The ENTIRE scene?! Do... do I get to do anything in this scene?

Daisy fires at the last of the enemy ships, and flies the ship straight through the scattering rubble. She twirls her arm around like she was using a lasso.

DAISY
Oh yeah! WOO! Taste that, you... you... nerfherders!

LUIGI
What's a nerfherder?

DAISY
(still happy)
I have no idea! But now, with those blasted enemy ships eliminated, we shall now continue going wherever we were going!

Daisy flies the ship a bit more, swaying it side-to-side for no other reason than it being fun as all heck.

DAISY
Ya know, with how awful this whole experience has been so far, this floor has been quite the ray of sunshine.

MORTY
AAAAND cut!

DAISY
(smile fading)
Wait, cut? No! No no no!

Her pleas meant nothing, as the vast emptiness of space returned to a mere blue screen. The ship went from flying through the air to mounted to the floor. In other words, everything returned to normal.

Daisy slumped forward, making some sort of whimpering-moaning sound. 'I was having fun too...'

Luigi tried to use his arms to push himself up, which ended as well as you think it did. 'I wasn't.'

'Oh! Sorry, sweetie!'

She leapt out of her chair and helped Polterpup get the costumed plumber to his feet. The suit had to weigh almost as much as Luigi himself. They exited the ship to Morty giving them a very enthusiastic round of applause.

'Bravo! BRAVO! That was the greatest acting I have ever seen in my afterlife! Of course, ALL acting is the best, but yours is the best of the best of the BEST! I could sense the passion in your voices!'

'Hmph!' Shinypants said. 'I would've done the role much better than this plumber.'

Scarlett glanced down at him. 'I can and will chuck you across the room if you don't shut up.'

'Shutting up, ma'am.'

Daisy gave her 'supporting fans' a cocky smirk, perfectly in-character for Serlida. Luigi put on a nervous smile, unable to do much else. Though he already adored Daisy's role, he couldn't say he adored his own.

Was playing useless comic relief all he would do? If he was going to be in a movie, it would be to escape reality, not to be faced with it some more.

'Keep up the good work,' Morty continued. 'Because we are moving onto THE NEXT SCENE! This time, the Forest set!'


SCENE TWO, FAIRY FOREST

The 'Forest set' was through the green TV, the third from the left, and appropriately named too. It looked like a calm little forest with a small dirt cleaning, with a quaint cottage fit for seven little children off to the side. The whole set was full of calm greens and soft browns, and a well in the middle to boot. Compared to the last one, this one was far more relaxing.

'Okay, here's the scene.' Morty said, moving his arms about as he described the story. 'This is the planet that you daring adventurers have landed on. Here, is the Fairy Forest, a sweet little place populated by adorable deer, rabbits, skunks, the occasional flying elephant, maybe a vulture or two. Just get into the scene and go!'

While Daisy immediately went into place, Luigi approached Morty as shyly as he normally approached people.

'Um... M-Mr Morty?'

'Does my brilliant actor have a question? Is the robot suit becoming too much for you? Would you rather work behind the scenes? Perhaps you request a meal, cooked only by the finest chef around, my friend Gordon Soulfflé?'

Luigi was unable to fumble his hands or even strum his fingers against the flashlight with that horrid suit on, so he had no way to battle his nerves. Taking a deep breath, he went for it.

'I-In the last scene, all my character got to do was, um, be silly comedic relief. I don't need to be the main star or anything, but do I get to do... anything else?'

Morty pat him on the metallic back. 'Do not fret my young man! Though Beegio may only seem like the comedic relief at first, I can GUA-RAN-TEE that your character will get an epic moment!'

Luigi had no idea what that meant, but he supposed he'd know when it came. So he got on scene, and waited for his cue.

'Scene two!'

With the camera on, the simple set transformed into a vast yet magical forest, straight out of a Disney movie. Because that's precisely what it was.

Little butterflies and dragonflies - that seemed to be carrying a whole circus train for some reason - flutter by, and a bunch of rabbits followed by a friendly fox and his doggy friend scamper away.

(Director's Note - I can assure you that fox is quite friendly. He's friends with the rabbits, actually. They solve crimes together.)

LUIGI smiles at the cheerful sight. POLTERPUP enjoys himself by running around, secretly hoping this wasn't the kind of movie where the dog dies.

LUIGI
This place is a lot nicer than the last, isn't it Dai- er, Serlida?

Luigi focuses on a DOE in the distance, accompanied by her FAWN son. The two make an adorable sight. The fawn looks especially happy.

(Director's Note - All animals in these scenes are fake. Just a heads up.)

DAISY
(smiling at the sight too)
Okay, that is freaking adora-

DAISY is cut off by the sound of a gun shot. The doe falls over dead. The fawn begins to bleat, which to the audience and Daisy is unintelligible. Luigi, however, hears the fawn saying 'Momma?', in a scene so suddenly dark it's almost funny.

SHINYPANTS
(just as shocked as them)
Oh my!

Luigi and Daisy stare at the display in stunned horror, not helped by how the overall tone of the forest hasn't changed at all.

MORTY
(talking like he didn't just witness a baby deer getting orphaned)
Now, here's what's going on. You heroes are navigating this seemingly peaceful forest in search of civilisation after you crash-landed on this planet.

DAISY
(indignant)
What?! Crash-landing? My flying was much better than that!

You can hear Scarlett, Brad, Meryl, AND Leonardo snickering over the fact that she sounds more like Shinypants than Luigi does.

MORTY
(continuing like she said nothing)
When a dreadful dragon suddenly appears and tries to attack you!

Luigi rattles like an unstable Jenga tower.

DAISY
(casually)
Oh, I guess that's-
(realising what he just said)
Excuse me, WHAT?! You wanna repeat that?

There is no time for Morty to repeat, as from a group of innocuous trees emerges a GIANT TERRIFYING DRAGON, covered in sharp black scales and armed with claws that put Pantherkitty's to shame.

Luigi emits a high-pitched scream, unable to run away thanks to the suit.

DRAGON (PLAYED BY MORGAN, A MINI-TRAPPER POSSESSING THE SUIT)
(in a gravely, cackling feminine voice)
After that wizard gave me quite a struggle, it'll be nice having some easy prey! HA HA HA!

The seriousness of it is ruined by the fact that it's obviously an animatronic, thanks to its joints and wires showing. An impressive one, but an animatronic nonetheless.

LUIGI
(either not quite realising this, or being terrified anyway)
AAAHHHHH! Serlida, do something!

DAISY
(narrows her eyes, giving the dragon a dirty/threatening look)
RUUUUUN!

Daisy follows her own advice, turning around and running for her life while making a rather un-tough sound. Luigi tries to follow her but, as you can guess, the clanky costume prevents him from running much at all. His 'running' more looks like he had a horrible bladder accident.

LUIGI
(at the top of the lungs he didn't have)
SEEERLIIIDAAAA!

Daisy skids to a stop, and realises her moment of stupidity at expecting him to follow her like that. This comes too late, as the Dragon grabs him by the waist and lifts him off the ground.

DAISY
(in utter shock)
BEEEGIIIOOO!
(overdramatically)
CURSES! The Beast has sent out her righthand-man, er, dragon! I cannot believe that beastly horror!

This is not part of the script.

SHINYPANTS
What?! The Dragon being sent by the Beast was not part of the original-

MERYL
You know, zee beast has a taste for metal. Eet would be a shame if-

SHINYPANTS
Yes, yes! I understand!

Polterpup floats up to the Dragon's face, and growls at her. She responses nonchalantly by puffing smoke into his face, making him cough and splutter a little.

LUIGI
HEEEELLLLPPP!

DAISY
(cracking her knuckles)
Here I come, Beegio!

Dashing through the woods to save her screaming friend, she notices that the Dragon has no bottom half but plenty of gears and wiring exposed. Nice.

DAISY
(sarcastically)
Wow. Good job, prop department.

Daisy makes her way climbing up the beast of a dragon prop, while Luigi screams all the while. The cyborg is brought all up and personal with the Dragon and her razor-sharp teeth. Not to mention her awful breath.

LUIGI
L-L-Let me go! I'm programmed for translation and diplomacy, not for fighting dragons!

DRAGON
Well well well! A metallic meal. I haven't chomped metal for years! I'll take my sweet time with this one, because it's not like a heroine could bravely save you or anything. Hint hint!

The Dragon goes for her first bite, biting Luigi's left arm and RIPPING it clean off. Luigi screams in horror at the sight of his arm, his actual arm, being ripped painlessly from his shoulder. The Dragon chomps and swallows.

DRAGON
Mmmm! Delicious!

DAISY
(showing up out of nowhere)
LET MY FRIEND GO, YOU REPULSIVE REPTILE!

With her eyes on fire - thanks to the special effects - she punches the Dragon straight in the eye. The Dragon cries out in pain, falling to the ground. She drops Luigi, who plummets into the forest below. Luigi slams against the well they saw before back-first. Though the suit does a good job absorbing the shock, it still hurts. He can't even wheeze in pain. He then sees his missing left arm.

LUIGI
AAAAHHHHH!

The only plus side is that the cursed Dragon is gone. He, with great struggle, stands up back. On the walls of the well, he can see a mouse holding a magnifing glass, and a duck wearing a sailor outfit. In a fit of frustration, he slams his remaining hand into the water of the well.

LUIGI
(getting angry)
I'm just here for comic relief, aren't I?!

Suddenly, a blue humanoid monster girl with squid hair and sunglasses pops out of the water, like it was a horror movie. This is SADAMURA YAMAKO, and she has scared the heck out of Luigi.

LUIGI
Waahhh!
(very frustrated)
COME ON!

Daisy and Polterpup emerge from the bushes and rush to the well too. Polterpup is notably unnerved.

DAISY
(proud)
Oh yeah! I came, I saw, I kicked its a-!
(scared and concerned)
UM?! Who's that?

SADAMURA
(pointing into the woods, speaking with a raspy voice)
Flylolvdwlrq lv wkdw zdb...

Daisy and Polterpup share the same 'huh?' expressions, while Luigi narrows his eyes in concentration.

DAISY
Uh... the fairest of them all is locked in a tower thanks to her ice powers?

LUIGI
She says... 'civilisation is that way'.

DAISY
(confused)
Wait, you can understand her? For real?

LUIGI
(nods)
I am a translator. It's what I was programmed to do.
(much more quietly)
Am... am I doing this right?

Daisy looks in the direction Sadamura is pointing. She sees no civilisation, but instead that cottage. Clouds of fairy magic shoot out of the chimney, alternating pink and blue.

DAISY
(unsure)
Uh, you sure civilisation is that way?

SADAMURA
(frustrated)
Flylolvdwlrq lv wkdw zdb, brx vwxeeruq lglrw!

Luigi snickers to himself, as much as he doesn't want to. It helps mask the horror of his missing arm.

DAISY
Wait, what did she say?

LUIGI
Uh... you're better off not knowing. S-Shall we get going, Serlida? Buddy would like to head off.

Daisy's eyes dart to the missing limb. She can't quite get over it, so matter how much she tells herself it's just movie magic.

DAISY
Well, I may not trust a random lady in a well, but I certainly trust your programming, Beegio.

As our trio of heroes began their trek to civilisation, Luigi has stopped caring about his phantom limb. Now his focus is more on the word 'programming'.

'AND CUT!'

Fortunately, Luigi's arm came back the moment the camera turned off.


SCENE THREE, SUNSET CLIFF

It seemed that both Luigi and his robotic friend had their own inner conflicts, albeit different ones. While Luigi hated his role as nothing more than cowardly comic relief, Beegio hated his mostly robotic nature instead.

Something that would become much more obvious in the next scene.

'AND ACTION!'

Compared to the other sets, this one is far more plain. It consists almost entirely of a seaside cliff with a bench, overlooking a beautiful sea that the sun is setting behind. Despite its plainness, it is gorgeous.

LUIGI, DAISY, and POLTERPUP arrive on the scene, sitting on the bench and staring off into the sunset. Daisy has to shelter her organic eyes, but Luigi's optical receptors are unaffected. Polterpup perches himself by his feet and takes a nap.

DAISY
(sighs blissfully)
Isn't it beautiful? With all the crap we've been through together, it's nice to just relax.

LUIGI
(forlorn)
Yeah, it's... it's nice.

Daisy notices her robotic friend's sadness.

DAISY
Hey, don't worry about the arm. The moment we find a new home, away from that Beast and her dragons, I'll get ya a new one. And THIS one will not be red.

LUIGI
(still sad)
It's not the arm. It's... something else, that's been on my mind for a while now.

DAISY
What's wrong?

Luigi debates if he should have this conversation, but upon seeing her awaiting eyes feels he must begin.

LUIGI
(in a surprisingly heartfelt performance)
Do I... really belong?

Daisy's eyes widen in shock.

DAISY
Woah! Where did this come from?! Did our 'script' foreshadow this at all?

LUIGI
I-I don't know, but... look around. Everything is living. I'm... I'm not really living, am I? I just don't feel like I fit in.

Daisy has no idea where this came from, but she has a feeling it's fuelled by his real life experiences.

DAISY
Wh... what do you mean?

LUIGI
Look at me, Serlida. I just emulate feelings. I just simulate thoughts. I may have been organic before but... frankly I don't remember anymore. When you, um, found me, I was already like this. So... maybe I was never truly alive. I'm... I'm just a machine.

Daisy smiles, and puts her hand on his shoulder.

DAISY
(genuinely)
Beegio... you're alive to me.

Luigi's cheeks, unfortunately, can still blush. And they do so intensely.

LUIGI
(stammering in embarrassment)
Um, I, uh... I-I'm sure it's, uh, unorthodox to fall in love with a cyborg.

DAISY
(trying not to laugh)
Listen honey, 'unorthodox' is my life.

Polterpup jolts awake, hearing something emerging from the water. He begins to bark wildly, as the camera refuses to show what he's barking at.

LUIGI
What is it, Buddy?
(looking up, suddenly terrified)
OH MY MAKER!

DAISY
(falling to the ground in shock)
What in the-?!

The camera finally turns around, showing a GIANT LIZARD BEAST, somewhat resembling a Godzilla rip-off. Look at it too hard - for about a second - and you'll see that it's only half a costume with a Goob tail sticking out of the bottom half, but the lacklustre effects don't make it any less scary for our three actors. The Beast roars, splattering them with slobber.

BEAST
HEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S Beastie!

Luigi tries to flee, but falls flat on his face. Polterpup barks angrily. Daisy helps Luigi up, and glares at the giant beast.

DAISY
(absolutely furious)
Why can't you just leave us alone?! If you insist on chasing us, then I'll teach you the real meaning of pain!

The Beast cackles, leaving poor Luigi even more terrified.

BEAST
(dialogue translated for audience)
Oh please. What makes you think you can take me on? Look at me! I am a beast of DEATH who ruined your entire planet! MUA HA HA HA!

Daisy cocks an eyebrow.

DAISY
Come at me!

POLTERPUP
Yip yip!

Spoilers - Daisy cannot take her on. At all. Neither can Polterpup. Both are entrapped in the Beast's grasp, thus leaving the one-armed and petrified Luigi by himself. Daisy tries to break out, but fails.

DAISY
Let me go, you lousy lizard!

BEAST
Ha ha ha ha! As if I would give you up that easily!

The Beast glances down at Luigi, who is shaking at the knees. The mere sight of him makes her cackle.

BEAST
Listen buddy, this ain't between you and me. Robots are nice. Unlike those humans!

DAISY
(even more angry)
I don't know what you're saying, but I know it isn't nice!

Luigi's eyes widens as he realises that Daisy cannot understand the Beast like he can. The Beast acts like Luigi isn't there at all and floats out the water, making her unfinished costume more obvious. She begins to float away into the distance, towards a city against the skyline.

LUIGI
(heartbroken and terrified)
Serlida! Serlida! DAAAIIISSSYYY!


SCENE FOUR, CITY SET

'Okay, so this is the scene.'

'Um, I think I'm a bit too big for the set.'

'Exactly! A scientist's lab was blown up, and one of their inventions shot you in the chest. And it turned out that it was an embiggening ray, that increases your size twenty fold!'

...

'What.'

'So now you and that abhorrent beast are the same size! Will you defeat that horror and save your friend, proving you truly are a hero, or will you fall and become another victim to her reign? Or, maybe - just maybe - diplomacy is the answer. ACTION!'

LUIGI wanders into the city set, noting that he is twice as tall as most of the buildings, and he currently stands on an city island of sorts that's connected to others via a bridge. A car prop runs into him and crashes into the water somehow.

LUIGI
Oh, sorry!

He continues his way down the miniature street, hoping he doesn't accidentally crush innocence civilians.

DAISY
(off-screen, distressed)
Beegio! The Beast is keeping me tied up on the tower to your left!

POLTERPUP
(also off-screen)
Arf arf! Yip!
(Translation popping up on screen via subtitles)
Yeah, good dialogue there Princess.

Luigi turns to his left, and sees the tower that 'DAISY' and 'POLTERPUP' are tied to. In reality, they're just tiny cardboard cut-outs that resemble them, attached via string.

LUIGI
(slightly confused)
Um... are those really the best effects we have? I-I mean, you're capable of removing one of my arms but not-

BEAST
(off-screen)
RRAAARRRRARRR!

LUIGI
EE-YOW!

Luigi jumps around - impressive considering how hard jumping in that outfit is - and spots the BEAST right behind him. The buildings behind her have been reduced to ashes and soot. Off-screen, I suppose. Just as Morty said, Luigi is now as big as her. Well, more correctly she was as small as him, but it's the illusion of it all.

DAISY
Beegio! Get outta here while you still can!

Luigi backs up, his knees shaking like crazy. The Beast seems more confused by his presence than anything.

BEAST
Wait, you again? Buddy, I told you that you don't need to be a part of this.
(pauses)
Is it just me, or did you grow a couple feet taller since we last met?

DAISY
(angrily)
Let me go so I can put your head on a pike!

BEAST
(glances at her - er, the prop of her)
Yeah, have fun with that.
(turns to Luigi)
This battle doesn't concern you, Metal Butt.

Luigi backs away, holding up his one arm in self-defence.

LUIGI
(still scared despite being her height now)
L-Listen, it doesn't have to be like this. We... we can be friends. Surely.

BEAST
(scoffs)
As if a cyborg would know anything about friendship.

LUIGI
(a little offended)
Hey! I'm programmed to be friendly. Well, actually for communication, but what difference does it make?

MORGAN (the Mini-Trapper a couple scenes back)
Oh my Jaydes... what is dialogue?

The Beast gives Luigi a death stare that rivals his own, much to the detriment of his nerves. He is shaking on the spot.

LUIGI
Um... uh... I think what we've got here is a failure to communicate.

BEAST
Okay, listen, a gunslinger once tried to take me on. I ate his liver with some propeller-shrooms and a nice Hoolumbian.

The Beast's eyes glow orange, and with no other warning she shoots a fireball out of her mouth.

LUIGI
(insert girly scream here)

Luigi jumps out of the way, the fire singeing his exposed wires as it passes by. It goes on to hit a skyscraper and destroy it instantly in a wonderful fiery explosion.

BEAST
You... you were supposed to stand still there.

LUIGI
Like I would do that!

MORGAN
Hmmm... consistent characterisation too...

BRAD
Do you mind?

The Beast growls, and fires another fireball. And about five more. Luigi avoids every one, though they get closer every time. Several buildings are destroyed in the process, one of them due to Luigi accidentally bumping into it.

LUIGI
Ah, sorry! Oh, I really hope this city's been evacuated.

The Beast cackles, enjoying the destruction she is causing just a little too much.

BEAST
Well, yeah, it is. But your concerns for the citizens are... wait. You feel concern for them?

LUIGI
Of course I do! What, you assume that just because I'm programmed a little differently than others that I can't care?

Even as he says this, Luigi thinks that it's a little on-the-nose. But that's what this whole production has been, so why stop now?

BEAST
(speechless for a moment)
Woah. Where did that come from?

LUIGI
In fact...

At this point, Luigi has decided he might as well go all out.

LUIGI
I bet the only reason you're tearing up civilisations is because that's what people thought of you! You're just a victim of prejudice, constantly battered by the universe like some sort of chew toy!

The off-screen crew have no idea what any of this is about.

MORTY
Yes! YES! This is the raw emotion that my audience will be craving!

DAISY
Uh... don't you think it's a little spontaneous?

MORTY
Exactly! The audience will be thrown for a loop! I can hear it now... 'I have no idea where this came from, but it is POWERFUL'. It's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get!

The Beast stops for a moment, as if considering his stance.

BEAST
(growling)
You don't know anything about me! You're... you're just a robot!

The Beast's eyes glow blue, and she fires out a big blue ball of fiery energy from her mouth. Luigi, out of fear, holds his one good arm out and tries to stop the ball with his hand. To everyone's surprise, it manages to stop it. Albeit, only for a few moments. It expels all its energy at once, sending him flying backwards into the bridge. Despite sustaining no real injuries, it still hurts. He wheezes in pain.

DAISY
LUUUIIIGIII!
(a pause)
Oh crap, wrong name. Is that a-?

MORTY
We cannot not redo such a perfect take! If we can not fix it in post, than it will simply have to stay!

DAISY
Uh, alright then.

Luigi, with as much difficulty as you'd expect, manages to get up. He can feel the suit cutting away at his skin for real. The Beast approaches him, green flames seeping out of her snarling mouth.

BEAST
I don't care if you're my size or not. You gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, Metal Butt?

LUIGI
Um... not really.

The Beast fires out another ball of energy from her mouth, but this one bigger and green instead. It moves towards Luigi at a slightly faster pace than the last one too. Luigi narrows his eyes, and holds up his one arm again. Like before, he stops the ball in its path. Unlike before, he manages to hold it in place. The Beast looks very, very shocked.

BEAST
(amazed)
Wh... what? HOW?!

Luigi gives her his trademark death stare.

LUIGI
I'm fighting back using the powers of JUSTICE!

Please ignore all the off-screen cast-members giggling like high-schoolers at a sex-ed class.

LUIGI
Justice for the damage you've caused, and the damage you can make up for!

With the 'power of justice' - what the actual f*** am I writing? - Luigi manages to not only stop the energy ball but deflect it too. It starts flying back at the Beast.

BEAST
No... NOOO!

Apparently unable to defend herself against her own fire balls, she is hit square in the face. In a slow, dramatic fashion, she is thrown to the ground and destroys many buildings as she bounces into the water.

DAISY
Yeah! Ya did it, Lui- I mean, Beegio!

POLTERPUP
Yip yip!
(I don't know what you did, but you did it!)

But the battle is not over yet! The Beast re-emerges from the water, and... oh dear. Our entire cast is left in silence for a few moments.

BEAST(?)
Um, what's everyone looking at?

Luigi is blushing profusely, while everyone is asking the important question... who's gonna tell her?

BEAST(?)
What? What?!

LUIGI
(clearing his throat)
Um, you're a little... naked.

Turns out that getting hit by that energy ball reduced the Beast costume to ash, leaving nothing more than SIGOURNEY THE GOOB standing there without her costume. She looks down at her 'naked' body, shrieks, and covers up her chest.

SIGOURNEY
This wasn't meant to happen!

Silence falls on the set as everyone wonders what to do now.

DAISY
Can't we just-?

MORTY
No! We cannot do a retake! Only the first take will have that genuine energy!

Just as Scarlett and Brad are about to suggest calling the whole thing off, Luigi settles for simply winging it.

LUIGI
(gasps)
Beast? You were a ghost possessing a beastly costume this whole time?

SIGOURNEY
(barely keeping up)
Um, uh... yes! I definitely was this whole time! Not at all intended to be a beast from the gecko - uh, get-go.

LUIGI
But... why did you do it?

Sigourney gives him a glare for forcing her to make something up.

DAISY
(face-palming, though you can't see it)
Good lord, The Thief and the Cobbler probably had a less crazy production than this.

MORTY
That's what makes it so FUN!

A few seconds of awkward silence pass before the scene continues.

SIGOURNEY
Because, uh... because I was always left out by the other ghosts because I was, um... too big. I mean, look at me! I-I don't even know how this happened. But it, uh, it did. It definitely happened. Those mean other ghosts, they, um... destroyed Rosebud! Rosebud being my, um... sled?

You can hear Daisy's sanity draining, but the ghosts and SHINYPANTS seem to think this is totally fine.

LEONARDO
Sigourney was never one for improv.

DAISY
(face buried in hands)
I got that!

You still can't see it, but Morty is leaning over his camera in excitement.

LUIGI
I see. So we're both outsiders of a world that doesn't like us for our differences. You're a giant, while I'm a cyborg.

SIGOURNEY
Uh, y-yeah. That.
(aside)
You better fix this dialogue in post. I freaking hate improv.

Luigi approaches her with his only good arm, holding it out and inviting her in.

LUIGI
I know you've destroyed a lot of things...

DAISY
Uh, Beegio, what are you doing?

LUIGI
And forced tons of people to flee... and nearly got us killed multiple times...

SIGOURNEY
You wanna get to the point so this awkward as heck scene can just end already?

Luigi blushes.

LUIGI
Uh, r-right. The point is... no matter what you've been through, no matter what you've done - to, uh, a limit of course - you can still redeem yourself. You can still prove that you can do good.

Sigourney, finally in the scene for real, smiles and takes his hand. Despite following the scene, she's still highly confused.

SIGOURNEY
You... you really think I can change?

LUIGI
(attempts to shrug but it's impossible, for several reasons)
Beast, I, uh, think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

The two outsiders shake hands, in a scene that's really cheesy yet also kinda nice.

DAISY
Great! Now are you gonna-?

MORTY
Aaaaaand CUT!


Daisy slumped her shoulders. 'Okay, that ended a little abruptly.' She smiled. 'Oh thank Grambi, that script format is gone for good now! ... Right?'

Absolutely. Never. AGAIN. Once the illusion of the camera set disappeared, Luigi's arm returned to him and the city revealed itself as nothing more than a set behind that big '5' wall. All the friendly ghosts applauded their newest stars, including the ones who weren't on set this scene.

CLANK!

And that was Shinypants's head falling to the floor after Scarlett forgot she was holding him.

'GAH!'

'Oh, sorry!'

Sigourney wiped her brow. 'Ah geez... you have no idea how much I hate improv.'

Luigi's attention was squarely on Morty, wondering when was the last time he saw someone that happy. The director tossed his clapperboard and megaphone aside, and yanked out the two reels of film from his camera. He held them even tighter than he did his megaphone.

'This is it!' He declared. 'With the basics of these scenes I shall create the greatest movie anyone in this room has ever seen! No... anyone in this WORLD- no, anyone in this UNIVERSE has ever seen!'

Morty tucked the reels under his arm, and without warning dashed to Luigi's side.

'Ah!'

The plumber tried to jump back in shock, but only accomplished falling over backwards. Luckily, Morty grabbed him by the shoulder and put him back on his feet.

'OHHHH Luigi! I can't possibly thank you and sweet Princess Daisy enough!'

Luigi blushed some more. 'I-It was nothing. The camera was a little scary, but-'

'What? Oh no, Luigi! I'm not talking about the movie, or the camera, or any nonsense like that.'

'You're... not?'

Morty shook his head, and glanced at his megaphone on the floor.

'It's your HEART I'm talking about, Luigi! Your compassion! Your KINDNESS! When I lost my precious megaphone, you stepped forward to help me in my time of desperate need. I thought no one would dare approach me while I was trapped in an endless void of sadness! But you... you DID! You cared none for any sort of prize or reward. You did it because you WANTED to.'

While Luigi stood there not knowing how to take this cheesy yet sweet speech, Daisy pulled the elevator button out of her pocket and looked at it. It helped remind her just how correct Morty was.

Daisy thought about it. She knew that if it was just her, she would've taken that button and gone. Not because she didn't care, but because she had better things to worry about. At most, she would've done all that only for the button. Seeing her flustered plumber dealing with the sudden praise made her smile. Whatever an abrasive woman like her did to deserve such a sweet man was a mystery to her.

'That's, uh, q-quite fine.' Luigi said. 'I just wanted to-'

'But you cannot go unrewarded. It simply will not do! Alas, I have nothing that is worth your kindness. If I could lift up this very hotel from the GROUND and give it and all the treasure within it to you, that would be but an ASTEROID in the UNIVERSE of your kindness!'

Daisy rolled her eyes, but with a smile.

'BUT. There is one thing I can give you.' Morty continued. 'I promise you that this movie will make you a star. Everyone in the galaxies shall know your name! The entire universe will bask in the glory of LUIGI, the Shy Hero! And, of course... DAISY, the Fiery Warrior!'

Morty hugged his film reels again, and turned to the rest of his crew on the sidelines.

'And as for all of you... you were all amazing! Polterpup, Scarlett, Brad, Angelina, Meryl, Morgan, Sigourney, T-1000...'

'Oh for goodness... my name is-!'

'You were all fantastic! Without you guys - whether you helped build the sets, possessed the props, or were even moral support - I never would have succeeded in even starting such a fantastic work! I'll have to put everyone's name at the beginning instead of the end... but now!'

He ceased his 'little' speech for a moment, making sure that every ghost, mortal and robot head was paying full attention.

'I must retreat to my office. That is the place where I shall be editing my movie into glorious fruition! I want no one else but my assistant Meryl in there with me. Do not disturb me while I am in there! Editing requires my absolute attention!'

Meryl nodded. 'As you wish, boss. I expect zis movie to be fun to put together.'

'You got that right!'

The grand ghost and his Oozer assistant flew around each other like a double helix, floating like they were heads-over-tails in the clouds. They disappeared into the director's office, leaving the rest of the crew to relax.

'I was doubting that dialogue at first.' Morgan said, stretching out his two tongues. 'But holy ECTOPLASM that brilliantly cheesy ending just nailed it!'

'No kidding.' Scarlett said, holding onto Shinypants's head again. 'The end product oughta be fantastic, but sweet Luvbi has any Morty production gone this weird before?'

Luigi mostly ignored the friendly ghosts chatting among themselves while Shinypants complained some more. It was at this moment that Morty's speech about kindness and stardom fully sunk in.

'I'm a star!' He declared in the cutest voice you've ever heard. 'Made it, bro! Top of the world!'

He threw up his arms in celebration, not quite realising the effects that the force of such a movement would have on him. The bad feeling sunk in when he realised that he was slowly falling backwards.

'Uh oh... WAH!'

And he hit the floor and lay here like a poor, defenceless Koopa.

'Help!'

'Oh my Jaydes, I forgot!' Brad said. 'Time to get that costume off you!'


'And... there!'

By the time Brad and Sigourney had got the clanky suit off him, Morty had called Shinypants - and, by extension, Scarlett - into his office to do a bit of redubbing. Turns out that 'timid Italian dork' was not quite Morty's original vision for Beegio. Luigi didn't really care at all that his voice would be replaced. The first thing he did once free was move his fingers. He almost forgot how to do it. At least he got to keep the 'universal translator thing'.

'Well sweetie,' Daisy said. 'You happy now that you've helped Morty out?'

'Oh yeah!'

As much as it saddened Luigi to leave his new ghostly friends behind, he knew they simply had to leave. Preferably, as soon as possible. He waved to them goodbye, as they did just the same thing.

'Bye! Goodbye! Bye-bye!'

'Aight, let's go capture Morty.'

'Goodb-' His attention snapped to her. 'Daisy! We can't do that. He's our friend!'

'Hey hey hey, it was just a little joke. As if I'd want to capture someone who gave us the button no questions asked.'

While they headed for the elevator to go to the next floor, Daisy looked at the button in her hand with dreamy eyes. If it wasn't super important, she'd keep it for the rest of her life. She'd keep it as a reminder. Not just for her new ghost friend, but also to remember how Luigi's kindness lead to her movie career.

And to remind her that jumping the gun could result in losing a friendship before it began.


Author Notes - Well that was just about the dumbest thing I've ever written. I have a feeling these two chapters will either be loved or hated. Oh, did I mention that, because I figured these two chapters might have mixed reception, you've already gotten the next chapter by the time you've read this sentence?

I told you they wouldn't betray Morty. If they did, they wouldn't be able to watch the full movie, would they?

Unsurprisingly, a lot of things were referenced. That Forest set, for instance, was LOADED with random references to Disney movies. And once again, some movie quotes.

Luigi's fun times in the robot costume are inspired by a fifty minute video on YT where Anthony Daniels talks about his fun times with his 'Shinypants' costume. If you're a Star Wars fan (or god forbid a C-3PO fan), you have to check it out. Also I bought Daniels's book and I freaking love it.


A young Morty - only five years old - was so excited to see the premiere of Snow White and the Seven Toads!

He thought the backgrounds were freaking gorgeous, and Snow White was such a beauty to behold. He laughed when the poor Koopa couldn't keep up, and when Sneezy sneezed so hard Dopey went flying. Bashful was utterly adorable, and Grumpy was lovable despite his jerkish attitude. And that dance scene... so beautifully done!

The Evil Queen terrified him, especially her haggish disguise. Imagine that - someone so pretty becoming so ugly! And when Snow White died... he cried. And so did the rest of the theatre... But then the Prince arrived, and when he kissed her awake everyone cheered!

Morty couldn't believe it! That movie, well, moved him! It was the greatest thing he ever saw! And he saw how much the audience loved it. He wanted that. He wanted to spread this joy to others himself.

He would make his own amazing movies! And when his dad bought him a shiny red megaphone, he knew he'd keep it forever!