Author Notes - OH BOY! Time for everyone's favourite boss! Protip: spam the Strobulb. It'll make Clem back himself into the spikes.

But seriously, this boss is super annoying without that trick. The floaty mechanic was a mistake. Just like m-

OH, and by-the-way, if you swing over to the Luigi's Mansion fanfiction archive, you'll find my other LM3 project: 'The Stories of the Last Resort'. This is simply a series of bios, a chapter for each ghost, detailing their backstories, relationships, likes and dislikes, so on. If you want to know more about the Grand Ghosts, including details that are not likely to mentioned in this story, go check it out!

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - THE HILL(BILLY) I DIE ON

Just as Daisy hoped, the water level had lowered and they could now reach the vault. After one quick call to E. Gadd to confirm that Gus T indeed made it, the princess and the ghostly cat had returned to where the whole thing had started. Fortunately, the valve was not missing on this one, allowing Daisy to open the door without another worry. Well, aside from the struggles of having to pull it open again.

After pulling it open, she put her hands on her knees and panted. 'Phew... okay Kitty, give me the low down. What should I worry about when it comes to those twins?'

'Everything.'

Daisy blinked. 'Care to be more specific?'

'Uh... see, Clem is smart when he puts his mind to it, but lazy as all get-out. Billie has energy for days, but is... an idiot. On their own, they're harmless. But when they're together, they're a menace. Be careful.'

Swallowing her fears, Daisy stepped through the slight opening and Polterkitty struggled to get herself through the wall.

Daisy's eyes widened as she looked up to the top of the room; she had not expected it to be so tall. Granted, shorter than the Garden Suites, but still a very tall metallic cylinder with pipes popping out of the sides. The stainless steel that made up the walls and floor were surprisingly shiny, and judging by the fridge and washing machine this was where the twins spent most of their time.

A more solid floor in the shape of a ring at the top of the cylinder had a ladder leading up to it. Daisy gasped - she could see not only the twin ghosts, but also her plumber. Clem lay to the side, sleeping on his duck floaty - what was with them and rubber ducks? - while Billie sat by a small alcove blocked off by some paranormal gates.

And behind those gates was Luigi, who to her surprise smiled and chatted with the female hillbilly. Huh. At least he's kept himself occupied.

'So, uh, what are we doing?' Polterkitty asked.

Daisy stepped towards the ladder, slowly and carefully, keeping her eyes on the ghosts. 'I'm sneaking up on those ghosts, and I'm gonna use the element of surprise to-'

*SQUEAK*

She shuddered and cringed, not just at the loud squeak but the small rubber object underneath her bare foot. With great hesitance, she glanced down and saw that she had stepped on a rubber duck that had been laying there. It had a ruby necklace.

Polterkitty went stiff, her eyes going as wide as they could go. 'Oh no...'

Daisy muttered expletives to herself, in frustration and agony. I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot...

The loud squeak left Clem undisturbed, but the little chat between Billie and Luigi came to a swift end. The female ghost turned around and saw the terrified princess immediately, and the moment Luigi's eyes made contact with her he smiled wide. He reached his arm through one of the holes of the gate, as if trying to grab Daisy from all the way over there. The joy on his face nearly made Daisy's heart explode.

Billie smiled too, but for totally different reasons. 'HOO-WEEE! Looks like we've gots ourselves a barg'in!'

Her excited yell woke up Clem, and he gave her a deadly glare from underneath the rim of his dirty cap. 'What is it now, woman? Ah'm tryin' ta git some sleep here!'

She grabbed his head and forcefully turned it to the princess and the kitty. When his brain bothered to process that image, he snickered.

'Well, looky here!' He said, lifting his head off his plastic pillow. 'Our li'l princess had come ta play. And she thinks she can git away wit' squishin' ma Daphne.'

'Doncha mean, our Daphne?'

Clem groaned. 'Fer moonshine's sake, woman! Ah'm tha one who found tha precious ducky, so Ah get full custody rights over her! Ah t'ought we agreed on that.'

Billie scoffed. 'Ah didn't no agree ta nothin'!'

Daisy groaned, already fed up with their married-couple bickering, and armed herself with the Strobulb.

'Get over here, the both of you!' She yelled. 'So I can fight you for real.'

The twins' glares at each other fell, and they smirked towards their common enemy.

'Y'all ready, bro?'

'Ah wouldn't miss it fer tha world.'

Both twins took to the air from their positions, and phased right through the paranormal gates. They ignored Polterpup's unrelenting barking like he wasn't there at all, and placed all four hands on the lever.

'So sis, y'all think we should give tha princess a watery surprise, just like how tha boss wants?'

'Ah'm moar excited than a li'l kid high on moonshine in a candy stoar!'

Luigi gasped, all happiness from seeing Daisy vanishing. He couldn't believe the ghost planning on flooding the room again was the same one he had chatted to.

'B-Billie... w-what are you doing?' He stammered. 'I-I thought we... we were friends...'

For a moment, just a moment, a look of guilt and second-guessing appeared on Billie's face. Even Clem, who had slept through their entire conversation, seemed to be questioning his actions at that moment.

'Ah'm sorry, Green Buddy, but if'n Ah don't help ma brothuh, than our boss will punish 'im. And ma family comes first!'

This lever may have been just as rusty as the others, but with the strength of two the twins managed to push it up without a struggle. Multiple pipes jutting out from the wall opened up, and water flooded out of them. The clear liquid pooled in the wide area, far quicker than Daisy wanted. She cringed as the freezing water covered her bare foot.

'MROOOW!'

The water touched Polterkitty's paws, and in a fit of panic she leapt onto Daisy's shoulder and dug her claws in deep. Daisy cringed, cursing the amount of injuries this kitty had given her.

'Margherita, NO!' Luigi cried.

Billie winced, and turned to her brother. 'Are y'all shore y'all wanna do this?'

Clem frowned. 'Ah'm nawt shore, sis. But tha boss is tellin' us ta do this, and Ah'm shore as moonshine that we ain't disobeyin' her!'

Daisy shivered as the cold liquid climbed up her legs. She had few doubts that the water would flood the entire metallic cylinder.

Polterkitty shivered. 'W-Water... We're gonna drown! WE'RE GONNA DROWN!'

The princess didn't even care to question why the kitty thought she'd somehow 'die' drowning. Something caught her attention - another floaty like the one she had used before, except this one was shaped like a swan.

'Oh no we're not!' Daisy declared, running for the floaty.

The water worked its way up to her waist by the time she reached her avian ride. She plopped herself into place, relaxing as it carried her upwards with the water surface. Polterkitty, meanwhile, had gone stiffer than a block of lead, and her claws couldn't be any deeper. Daisy lifted her up - nearly screaming as the claws unhooked from her skin - and placed her in her lap.

'I have a few ways I wanna die.' Daisy said, stroking the cat's fur. 'And drowning in sewer water is not one of them!'

Clem stuck his head back through the paranormal gates, and slammed his fist into the floor. 'Y'all gots ta be kiddin' me! Don't y'all realise that ya just doomed ta fail? Why are y'all tryin'?'

'Because I ain't dying without a fight!'

Luigi smiled thanks to her determined attitude, which fell away quickly. 'No no Daisy, you need to get out! Forget about me. Just get out of this hotel and pretend I never existed!'

'I sure as hell ain't doing that!'

The water level rose fast, but not too fast so Daisy couldn't see the spikes that wrapped around the top edges of the steel pit. Spikes that the floaty was slowly approaching. She held the Poltergust nozzle out in front of her, and pressed the 'suck' button for a moment to inch herself forward.

'Ha HA!' Billie laughed. 'Y'all got'er there, bro!'

It was then she noticed that her older twin was not laughing. In fact, he gritted his teeth and growled.

'Why... why ain't ya laughin'?'

Clem smacked her upside the head. 'Git yer head together, woman! Ah wanted ta drown that dixie, but she din't drown at all.'

'Oh... HEY, that ain't fair. We was wantin' ta drown her!'

Clem adjusted his cap and spat into his gloves. 'Looks like Ah hafta take matters inta ma own hands!'

Billie stared at him in shock. Her lazy brother, finally doing something without any prompting? She couldn't believe it! She must've been dreaming. The shock wore away when he hopped back into his floaty.

'Really, bro?' Billie remarked. 'Y'all just gonna sit in that there ducky while Ah hafta do all tha work?'

Clem groaned. 'Why y'all godda assume Ah'm just a lazy bum, woman?'

'Cuz y'all never get offa yer butt to do any work 'round here!'

'Well, this is tha exception! Ya take care of the Green Kid, and Ah'll deal with tha princess.'

Clem grabbed into his inflatable ride and threw it into the water, all while still laying in it. He pulled out a paper fan from a pocket on his back and smacked it against his palm, snickering all the while.

'It's just ya and me, Princess!' He declared. 'And Ah gots moar experience on tha water than y'all do. It's either face me in that there floaty, or sink ta tha bottom!'

Daisy's hands shook, but her smirk did a good job of hiding it. 'Oh please. Like I'd get defeated by someone who married his own sister.'

The room fell silent. To the princess's surprise, both hillbillies stared at her with a mix of horror, confusion, and disgust.

'What in tarnation is wrong wit' you?!' Clem yelled. 'We ain't married ta anyone, let alone each other!'

'Yeah!' Billie agreed. 'Why in moonshine would we do that? Don't y'all know that we're twins?'

Blush dotted Daisy's cheeks.

'Gah, what are we doin'?!' Clem cried. 'That don't matter right now. What matters right now is me whackin' the sunshine oudda this here princess!'

Clem pushed his floaty towards Daisy's just by shifting his weight a bit, albeit noticeably slower than Daisy could move hers. Not that it mattered; she wasn't going far with those spikes surrounding her.

'Okay Kitty, got a plan?' Daisy asked.

'Throw me over to those gates.'

Daisy did a double-take. 'Um... throw you? And how does that help me?'

'Just do it, okay!'

The princess thought about this, and then shrugged. Well, she needed something to vent frustration.

Luigi bashed his fists against the paranormal gates, as if any mortal could hope to tear them down.

'Let me out!' He cried. 'Let me OUT!'

Billie glared at him. 'Wouldja stop that! Ah've enuff stuff ta fix 'round here wit'out ya makin' it worser.'

The plumber wasn't sure where his anger was truly directed at: the younger twin who was his friend mere minutes ago, or the hotel owner who forced them to do this to begin with.

'LET ME OUT!'

*zap!*

Both Luigi and Billie jumped back from the sudden spark of electricity that just burst from Luigi's hand.

'What in tarnation wasat?'

The plumber looked at his hand with wide eyes. He hadn't done anything like that for a while. Yet, he knew exactly what it was.

'Thunderhand...'

Meanwhile, Daisy had a redneck with a paper fan to deal with. She glanced behind her, seeing nothing but spikes that would - best case scenario - pop her ride, if not skewer her. And lucky old Clem would simply faze through them like they weren't there at all.

'Listen, partner,' Daisy said, using the Poltergust to back away slowly. 'I'm sure w-we can come to some sort of peaceful resolution.'

'What part of 'ma boss'll punish ma sister if'n Ah don't do ma job' didja not understand?'

'Wait, if you don't do your job, your sister gets the punishment?'

'That's what Ah said, ain't it?'

Clem got uncomfortably close to Daisy, and she didn't dare back away any further towards the spikes behind her. He lifted up his paper fan and wound it up.

Daisy held her arm up forward in protest. 'Wait, no! Let's think about th-'

*WHACK*

'AHHH!'

He delivered that fan across her arm with a full-blown slap. She retracted her arm and tried her hardest not to cry.

'S-So is that all you've got?' She said, her trembling tone destroying any hope she had of sounding awesome. 'J-Just a fan?'

'Nah.' Clem said. 'Ma plan is ta back y'all inta them spikes. Maybe yer'll drown, or maybe yer'll git skewered! Either way, it's a win fer me.'

'You can't kill me! Doesn't your boss want us alive or something?'

'Nah, that's just tha green guy. Ma boss don't care none what happens ta ya.'

Daisy wished she could get closer and whack him across the face, but that fan had more reach than her own arm did. Gritting her teeth, she held the Poltergust behind her and propelled herself forward. Her floaty bumped into Clem's, both pushing him back a bit and almost knocking him off.

'Hey now!' He yelled. 'Don't do that!'

He reacted by pushing himself forward and revving up to whack her again. Daisy pulled herself out of the way before the fan could make contact with her skin a second time.

'Make like a statue an' stay still!'

Polterkitty landed flat on her face, in a rather un-catlike move. Perhaps she should've thought over this 'throw me' plan a bit more. She couldn't complain too much; she was right by the gates keeping Green Man prisoner.

Billie smiled at her. 'N'awww! Lookit tha li'l kitty! Does kitty wanna treat?'

The cat cringed, not wanting to scare a close friend, but she saw no other option. In a flash of light, she transformed into a mighty panther and roared right into the female twin's face, splattering her with cat slobber.

'AHHHH!' Billie yelped as she fell over backwards. 'What in moonshine are ya doin' that fer?!'

'Don't hurt her!' Luigi cried.

Polterkitty couldn't comprehend how he could say something like that after all Billie did to him, but it mattered none to her. She swiped across the purple gate, slashing it deep with her massive claws. For the first second, nothing happened. The next, the gate shattered to pieces and scattered on the ground like cracked glass. The pieces dissipated mere moments after making contact with the ground.

'Holy shroom, you can do that?!' Daisy cried.

Clem said nothing, a little too stunned by the event on display. Billie, on the other hand, was certainly not so speechless.

'Whaddya doin', Kitty?! Yer supposed ta be on our side, not on tha mortals' side! How do y'all think ma bro's boss is gonna take it?'

Luigi, without a thought, leapt out of his jail and wrapped his arms around Polterkitty's neck. 'Oh Gattina... you're alright!'

Polterkitty had no explanation for the warm sensation feeling up her body with heat, but she adored every moment of it.

Billie clenched her teeth. 'Ah ain't lettin' a kitty ruin ma brother's afterlife!

'And since Ah don't wanna ruin yer afterlife either,' Clem said, already getting fed up with moving so much. 'How 'bout y'all help me out here, sis?'

She tipped her cap to him. 'Can do, bro!'

Ignoring Luigi and Polterkitty, she took her cap off to reveal even more unkempt blonde hair underneath. And from her upside-down cap, she pulled out a sea-mine-shaped bomb. She snickered as its lights began flashing the moment her filthy green glove made contact with it.

'WAH!' Luigi yelped.

'Help's comin' from above, bro!'

Billie threw that flashing bomb into the water with one big overarm throw. It landed with a great splash, right by Daisy's floaty.

'EEP!'

The princess moved herself out of the way as quickly as her panicky mind could manage. The bomb detonated, missing her ride but sending water and waves absolutely everywhere. Daisy's floaty zoomed across the water, getting her uncomfortably close to the deadly spikes.

She slammed the button on the Poltergust down. The force it expelled didn't quite match up to that of the bomb, but just as her bare foot nearly touched one of the sharp points the floaty came to a slow stop.

Daisy exhaled a heavy breath, which she immediately sucked back in again when she heard Clem growling through his teeth behind her.

'Really, sis? That's tha best yer got? Do ya really want me tah git ya punished or somethin'?'

'What? No way! Ah'd git ya punished fer that kinda behaviour!'

Luigi knelt down to Polterpup's level and looked him straight in the eye. 'Never mind me, Boy. Go and help Daisy!'

Polterpup saluted his owner with his tail, and leapt into the water.

Polterkitty watched Mean Lady move herself away from the spikes, only to receive another fan-slap across the back. The way Mean Lady cringed from the pain made something inside her do something she had even felt before.

She bared her teeth and snarled as she approached the female hillbilly. Billie backed off with her arms out in front.

'N-Now now Kitty,' She said. 'Let's not do thin's we might regrit...'

Polterkitty froze. Her paw landed in a small puddle of water, bringing her back to that horrible day in the river.

'ROOWW!'

She jumped back, whining and yowling, and scraped her paw against the floor to get the cursed liquid off.

Billie pointed and laughed. 'Aw, com'on Kitty. We drowned too, and y'all don't see us complainin'. And y'all t'were lucky; ya drowned in water!'

Polterpup pushed Daisy's floaty around the limited space, keeping her away from both the spikes and Clem's paper fan. She charged up the Strobulb and tried to flash him, only for him to block the intense rays with his fan. He snickered from behind his shield.

Daisy groaned. 'Come on!'

'Y'all serious? Of course Ah'm gonna block yer rays! I ain't ma sister.'

'Ah keep tellin' ya, bro.' Billie said. 'Ah don't think a light could be that bad.'

With the Panthergeist temporarily out of commission, Luigi found himself face-to-face with the angry female twin.

'Ah'll give ya a deal, Greenie.' She said. 'Surrender yerself, and yer li'l princess goes free.'

Clem snickered. 'Hoo boy! Ah didn't think ya could come up wit' somethin' so clever!'

'Ah impress even maself sometimes.'

Luigi gulped. Surrendering wasn't exactly an option high up on his list of things to do today. He looked back at his princess. Daisy kept reaching out to reach the brother, only for Clem to whack her arms away each time.

He hung his head. If he had the Poltergust, he wouldn't even tempt the question. But without it, it was a miracle he was still kicking. As for Daisy... she had proven herself far more competent than himself, as far as he was concerned.

'Alright.' He said. 'If you let Daisy go, I'll-'

'LUIGI!' Daisy yelled. 'Catch!'

She tore the Phantasma-Gloves off her hands, and chucked them over to Luigi with all her might. He caught them in a panic.

'D-Daisy,' He stammered. 'What are you-?'

'What do ya think?' She yelled back. 'Don't worry about using them wrong. If I can use them, you can too!'

Luigi took only a second to process the thousands of conflicts and questions rushing around in his already overwhelmed brain. He slipped them over his own gloves before he could tell himself not to. Getting them on was a struggle, and they felt incredibly tight on his hands, but he still felt a strange pulse of energy travel up his arms.

The lights began to glow.

'Nice gloves.' Billie said, approaching him slowly. 'They'll make yer portrait look all tha more purdy!'

Luigi flexed his fingers, finding that they barely restricted his movement. He clenched his fists in an attempt to seem more threatening.

'A-Alright.' He said. 'Come at me.'

Billie smiled. 'Ah like this sudden confadence! It'll make tha fight moar fun.'

'I-I hope you know what these gloves do. I-I can grab you know.'

The female twin chuckled. 'Yeah, right. Ah know how ghosts and mortals work. Y'all can't touch me 'less Ah...'

In the middle of her mini-speech, Luigi ran up to her and grabbed her tail. Before she could even process the situation, he slammed her against the cold hard floor. Unlike Daisy's slams, his had a noticeable pause between each one, mostly so he could stop to say 'sorry' each time.

'Sorry... sorry... sorry!'

Clem and Daisy watched this ruthless display with their mouths agape, for different reasons.

'Git yer hands off ma sister!' Clem yelled.

Daisy, on the other hand, couldn't believe he had mastered the use of them so quickly.

Luigi felt his arms grow tired, but he didn't want to stop until her particles broke apart and vanished into the air. No matter how many times he slammed, it seemed that Billie was no closer to falling apart.

'Ah see what yer doin', and it ain't gonna work!' Clem said, missing his next whack by an inch. 'We're held together a lot betterer than tha random li'l guys y'all see 'round tha place. We ain't gonna break apart that easily!'

Luigi let go of Billie, and backed off from her angry glare. After all that, she certainly seemed a little weaker but far from losing all her spectral health. Polterkitty hissed at her, but that was all she felt comfortable doing when surrounded by water.

Daisy silently thanked Polterpup a thousand times over for moving the floaty around for her. That way, she could actually think about what she was doing. No way in the Underwhere could she throw the Poltergust all the way to him, nor did the spikes allow her to get close. With Clem on her trail, she tried to think of a way to eliminate him as soon as possible.

She grinned.

'HEY BILL!' She hollered. 'I think Clemmy here needs some more help!'

'Ooh, you're right.' Billie said. 'Gimme a moment, bro!'

She reached into her upside-down cap and pulled out another bomb that was already set to detonate.

'BOOOMBS AWAAAY!'

She chucked it as hard as she could, only to find that it had gone absolutely nowhere. She looked back at her now empty hand.

'Oh ma moonshine!' She yelled. 'Tha bomb's invisible!'

Clem whacked his own forehead with his fan. 'Tha bomb ain't invisible, ya donut! It's bein' held by... uh oh.'

Luigi held the ticking bomb in his hands, and contrary to what you may expect he had a cocky little grin on his face.

'Heh heh... uh, who's da bomb now?' Was his attempt at a bold one-liner.

The bomb's ticking got progressively faster as it approached denotation.

'Do ya wanna THROW IT, maybe?!' Daisy yelled as she pushed herself away from the spikes.

Luigi blushed for a moment. 'Oh. R-Right.'

Normally, he'd be lucky to throw the heavy bomb forward at all, but with the boost in strength the gloves gave him he tossed it overarm like a shot-put gold medallist. And for once, his questionable aim didn't screw him over. The bomb landed square in Clem's lap, now ticking at least ten times a second.

'AHHH!' Clem screamed. 'Git offa me!'

He picked up the mine and tried to throw it, but the moment it left his hands it detonated.

Water splashed everywhere.

The mighty force of the bomb may not have harmed his ride in any way, but it certainly sent it flying backwards. All the way backwards, until he was pinned against the edge of the grand reservoir. Which, of course, meant his floaty made contact with the spikes and popped almost instantly.

'WAH!'

'YEAH!' Daisy cheered. 'Good one, Luigi! We don't even need to tell each other our plans anymore.'

With his ride in tatters and the spikes doing nothing to his ethereal skin, he dragged his 'heavy' body up onto dry land.

'Okay Billie...' He said, panting. 'Ah think y'all can taken over now.'

The poor redneck looked up, expecting to see his sister but instead being greeted by a less welcome - and more alive - plumber. Only by towering over him the way he did could Luigi look so menacing.

Clem smiled the kind of smile that showed all his teeth. 'Heh heh... uh, sorries fer nearly drownin' ya? All's forgivin', right?'

Luigi hesitated, his own brotherly instinct taking over for a moment, but the memories of seeing Daisy almost drown overpowered that mercy.

He sighed. 'Sorry, Clem.'

The timid plumber grabbed Clem by the tail and slammed him into the ground face-first multiple times. Enough times for Luigi to see the bald spot underneath his cap. Upon the fifth slam, he stopped. Clem lay on the cold metallic floor, more than a little stunned from the bashes. Little rubber duckies circled around his head.

'Hellen's suckin' ice...' He muttered. 'Tha duckies ain't nice...'

'DAISY, catch!'

'I'm on it!'

Luigi grabbed Clem again - by his shoulders this time - and tossed him overboard. Right into Daisy's Poltergust. The poor thing barely had the energy to resist, and when his grimy head disappeared three rubber duckies popped out instead.

One of the duckies landed in Daisy's lap. 'Okay, what is with their obsession with rubber ducks? More important - where's the button?'

Apparently, it wasn't Clem who was holding the button. And the one who did hold the button was currently-

'LUIGI, LOOK OUT!'

Billie, more than just a little angry that her brother was gone, rushed at the tired Luigi with her hands ready to claw his face off. Luigi spun around and screamed.

'Git over here, ya son of a- OUCH!'

And that was the distinct sound of a ghost getting her tail chomped by an angry Panthergeist. Polterkitty snarled with the fur on her back standing up straight, keeping Billie just out of Luigi's reach.

'Ya blasted kitty!' Billie said. 'Whose side are ya on?'

Polterkitty growled; nonsense to most of them, but a sweet 'on the right side' to Daisy.

'And anyway,' Luigi said, stepping just a bit closer. 'Don't you want to rejoin your big brother?'

'Ya kiddin' me? That there vacuum is a void! No ghost that goes inside ever comes out. I'll be willin' ta bet that's its a wormhole that tears apart yer body!'

This bizarre statement got her looks from everyone in the room.

'Just give her to me, Kitty!' Daisy yelled.

Polterkitty, giving the princess a wink in confirmation, swung Billie around like she was just a lasso, and tossed her at the Poltergust awaiting her arrival. The ghostly hillbilly got her tail stuck in the nozzle, and flailed her arms around so fast it looked like she had fifty of them.

'AH DON'T WANNA GO TA THA VOID!'

And with a little pop, Billie disappeared into the same machine that trapped her brother. The nozzle rattled, and the next elevator button popped out.

'YAY!' Daisy cried. 'We did it!'

What a triumphant moment! With two more ghosts down, our heroes cheered for their little victory. Nothing could bring their mood down!

*plop*

Except for the button landing in the water, and drifting slowly down to the floor below. Seconds of awkward silence passed as everyone watched it sink.

'Dang it!' Daisy yelled, before slamming the nozzle into her forehead. 'OW! Geez Elvin... make your products a little crappier...'

'Uh, that's fine.' Luigi said. 'We just have to lower the water level. Again.'

Polterkitty saluted him with her massive paw, and needed no other order to flip the switch in spite of the water that surrounded it. Being extra careful not to break this one either, she turned it back to how it was before. After the sound of rusted metal gears grinding could be heard, the water level lowered like water down a sink.

With Daisy still on the floaty.

'Ah!' She yelped, holding onto the floaty for dear life.

Luigi approached the edge slowly. 'Uh... s-so how do I get down?'

His answer came swiftly when Polterkitty grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him onto her back. It gave him his fiftieth heart attack that night.

'Mrow-row!'

Luigi could only assume that translated to 'hang on', which he was already doing for the sake of his life.

'What are you...? Wait, NONONO!'

Daisy felt a lot safer on the dry floor, thanks to the solid floor and the calming sounds of water flowing in and out of pipes. She leaned back in the floaty and sighed in relief.

'One more nightmare over... another who knows how many to go...'

'LOOK! LOOK! Over here! LOOK! LOOK! Over here!'

Polterpup caught her attention with his excited cries as he pointed his nose at the button, which rested right next to the floaty. Daisy shot forward when the bright glow met her eyes.

'Oh my gosh...' She picked it up, and checked the number. 'Floor ten? Floor ten! Luigi, we-!'

'WAHHH!'

Polterkitty touched the ground, slowing her impact just enough so Luigi wouldn't get turned to paste from the G-forces. She looked rather proud of herself, whereas Luigi looked like he just walked into a ghost doing its business.

'N-Next time Gattina... warn me.'

'Meow?'

Daisy chuckled. That particular meow translated to 'I thought I did'. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Luigi hopped off Polterkitty and ran over to his princess. 'D-Daisy?! Are you alright?'

'RELIEF, Luigi! They're tears of relief!' She yelled, making sure to give him a smile. 'Oh good LORD, did I miss you!'

'You... y-you did?'

'Oh my g- DID I!'

Without giving him a moment of warning, she jumped out of her rubbery seat and brought Luigi into a big (and very tight) hug. For once, he reciprocated immediately.

'Do you think I went through all of that for nothing?!' Daisy questioned.

'Y-You know... y-you could've just left me.'

'HELLLL no!'

They embraced each other like their lives depended on it, like they never wanted to be separated ever again. Luigi couldn't help noting the absolutely pungent smell coming off her, thanks to the sewer water and her own sweat, but he didn't let it ruin their moment.

'You okay?' He asked.

'Oh yeah. Just fine. Going through that was quite the thrill ride, if anything.'

Polterkitty, who was still a panther, gave Daisy a look of confusion.

'Mrrroaw!'

Daisy cringed just a little. Thank Grambi Luigi couldn't hear the panther making painfully-true accusations.

Luigi's eyes drifted down to her bare foot, and the bite marks surrounding it. 'Uh, Daisy? Where's your shoe?'

The princess chuckled. 'Heh heh... would you believe it if I said a toilet came to life and tried to eat me?'

He blinked. 'Uh... maybe?'

'Yeah. You should've heard Gus's screaming. Wailing more than a-'

'Wait, Gus? Like, Gus T?' He stepped back, breaking up the hug. 'What was he doing with you?'

Daisy rubbed the back of her neck. 'Oh, yeah, that. Uh, long story. Something about Elvin needing an upgrade for the Poltergust. We can check up on that later.'

Luigi no longer looked her in the eyes, and instead focused on her bare foot. The marks weren't quite deep enough to bleed, but he couldn't stand the thought of her having more injuries.

'Maybe we should return to the lab.' He said. 'You're hurt.'

'What? You mean that little bite? After my little solo adventure, I'm too high on the rush. We gotta go to the next floor n-'

The ringtone of the Virtual Boo cut her off. Grimacing on the outside while sighing with relief on the inside, she answered the call.

'Yello?'

'Ah, Daisy! Good to see that you and Luigi are in one piece. I thought for sure you'd be shark-ghost food by now!'

'Gee, thanks for the support.'

'That's what I like to hear! Anyway, you'll be happy to know that Gus successfully returned the Poltergust upgrade to me. I need you to return to the lab so that I can install it!'

Daisy groaned. 'Now?'

'Yes! Posthaste! At this very-!'

Daisy didn't even bother with waiting for the call to end naturally and hung up on him immediately.

'What did he say?' Luigi asked.

'Welp, looks like we're going to the lab anyway.' She sighed. 'Maybe I can tell you about my little adventure on the way there.'

'Oh, I'd like that!'

She took Luigi by the hand, and as they began walking back to the vault door she felt something proverbially biting at her neck. I have to tell him. She thought. He has to know.

'Hey, um, Luigi?'

'Yeah, Daisy?'

'There's, uh, something I need to tell you.'

Polterkitty - who still hadn't returned to her housecat form - grinned.

'What's that?'

'I, um...'

At that moment, she understood why he sometimes had trouble putting words together. She couldn't believe it - the almighty Daisy, afraid to say a few words! Well, a few words that would totally ruin her reputation.

Come on, Daisy. Just three simple words. Say 'em. I. Was. Afraid.

'I like Bubble Gusties!'

She put on a brilliant fake smile, to hide the fact that she wanted to punch her own face in. Behind her, Polterkitty slammed her paw into her forehead.

Oh, good one Daisy! You are a GENIUS! Just, I- WOW!

'Shut up, brain!' She muttered.

'Oh.' Luigi said, quite simply. 'You mean that preschool sh-?'

'YES-that-preschool-show!' She blurted out. 'Look, I dunno why either. Something about it just appeals to me.'

Luigi smiled. 'That's fine. If you enjoy it, you enjoy it. I won't make fun of you for that.'

Daisy sighed in relief. As they approached the door to the way out, she couldn't appreciate his presence anymore than she did at that moment. I'll tell him someday. She told herself. I swear. She doubted her own thoughts.

Polterkitty strutted after the human heroes, just a little peeved off that they closed the door behind them.

'(Speaking of admitting secrets.)'

She stopped in place, and turned to Polterpup. He glared at her, and his tail beating against the floor was akin to one tapping their foot.

'(Oh.)' Polterkitty said. '(You have something to admit too?)'

'(We both know that I'm not the one who has to admit something.)'

She gulped. '(Eh, w-whatever could you mean? I have nothing to admit.)'

Polterpup sighed. '(You know what I'm talking about.)'

With a whimper, Polterkitty hung her head in shame. She said nothing, not in the mood to say anything. As if she needed to.

'(Admit it, Kitty. You joined our side just so you could double-cross my Master and hand him over to your Master. So you'd seem like her hero.)'

Polterkitty didn't look at him. She couldn't. She didn't argue his points - no need when he was completely correct.

'(My master trusts you, you know. He's believed your 'redemption' since the beginning. It will break his heart when he finds out.)'

'(Yes. I know.)'

Silence.

'(Why haven't you told them yet?)' Polterkitty asked.

'(I'm giving you a chance. Please don't ruin it.)'


After listening to Daisy's entire (and somewhat romanticised) story, Luigi did not miss the adventure nearly as much as he missed her. But he felt very proud for her when she described mastering the Poltergust. Not to mention very proud of Polterkitty. As for Daisy, she was still uncomfortable to admit how scared she truly was. He could never know.

All the while, they hadn't swapped their main weapons back. Nor had they noticed that Polterkitty remained as a hulked up panther.

'So, what do you think that Poltergust upgrade will do?' Luigi asked as they approached the lab door.

Daisy shrugged. 'I can only hope it's something that made what we just went through even remotely worth it.'

The lab door opened, and the quartet entered. Gus T sat in the corner, breathing in and out slowly as he huddled to the best of his ability. Parr T stood by his side, gently giving him a pat on the back with a soft smile. The aroma of the Gadd family recipe was heavy in the air.

'Sonny! Princess!' E. Gadd said, spinning his work chair around to greet them. 'I must say Daisy, I was quite impressed by your use of the Poltergust. Quite impressive for someone who didn't have any training!'

Daisy chuckled. 'Yeah... which is why I need a rest. Gimme some of that diesel fried whatever-it-was.'

'Uh, I left a couple bowls on the bed.'

The princess removed the Poltergust from her shoulders, and was about to place it on the floor before E. Gadd interrupted her.

'I'll need the Poltergust if I am to upgrade it, Daisy!'

With a groan, she handed it over to him and headed for the relaxing bed and the scrumptious food that awaited her. Polterpup hopped onto the bed beside her as she ate, and cuddled up to sleep.

'I suggest you take a rest, sonny.' E. Gadd said, plopping the Poltergust onto his desk. 'It may take me a while to fix this up.'

'Uh, okay.' The plumber responded.

The moment Luigi sat down next to Daisy, Polterkitty ran over and curled up at his feet. He leaned over to stroke her on the head, prompting her to purr.

'Mrow!'

'Oh, you should probably have this back.' Daisy said as she unclipped the translator from her ear. 'It's a little waterlogged, but it still works.'

She held it out for him in her flat palm. He stared at it for a few moments, before taking it and putting it back on his own ear.

'T-Thanks.' He said. 'Do you want the gloves back, or are you fine with using the Poltergust now?'

She stifled a laugh. 'Yeah, I'm not using that vacuum anymore. I much prefer the gloves, and I think we should use the weapons we're best at.'

Luigi took the Phantasma-Gloves off. 'If we want to live...'

Daisy watched E. Gadd fiddle around with the odd-looking upgrade part. He got his hands into it, and pulled out a much smaller part no bigger than his hands.

'Ah! There it is!'

He put the tiny part aside, and tossed the rest of the upgrade away into a nearby bin.

'You kidding me?!' Daisy yelled. 'We went through all of that for that tiny piece?'

'Now now, princess.' E. Gadd said. 'Don't underestimate this upgrade just because it's tiny! I would've just told Parr-'

'I'm GUS, you colourblind Goomba!'

'-To swipe this little piece from the Boilerworks, but it's kinda hard to find so I got him to grab the whole thing.'

Luigi's eyes widened at this revelation of blatant thievery and possible vandalism. Daisy didn't react to it at all.

'Wonderful.' She said, putting her empty bowl aside.

She leaned back and sighed. The urge to fall asleep was hard to fight. Luigi finished his pickled dandelions, and lifted his knees up to rest his head on.

'You okay, sweetie?' Daisy asked.

'I... I can't believe I let myself get captured so easily by those twins.' He said. 'I couldn't do anything to help you. I... I failed.'

'I think you mean, I failed.'

He glanced back at her, not saying a word but his teary eyes speaking for him.

'I let you get kidnapped by those rednecks. If I was just thinking straight, that wouldn't have happened.' She sighed. 'Not that it matters now. I saved ya, didn't I? Let's not worry about those pesky what-ifs and focus on what actually happened. Okay?'

'Why didn't you just leave me?' He asked. 'I-I mean, you could've come back to save after you beat King Boo. A-And even if you couldn't, everyone could've lived without me.'

'That's absolute bull, Luigi. And you know it. If I saved Mario and told him you had been killed, he would jump off the damn building. And do think I would go and nearly get skewered and drown if I didn't care about you?'

She neglected to mention the other, albeit much smaller but still very relevant, reason: that she sure as hell wasn't going to survive this journey without him.

He smiled, weakly. 'Yeah. I-I guess that makes sense. You sure you're okay? Your adventure sounded, um, scary.'

'Scary? Pfft. Nothin's a match for Daisy.'

Polterkitty opened her mouth to join in on the conversation, but after considering the consequences of blabbing Daisy's secret to Luigi, she decided to stay quiet.

'Hey Gattina,' Luigi said. 'How come you're still not a little kitten yet? Do you just prefer being big?'

'Um... yes?' She responded.

'Well, then you can stay like that if you want. I don't mind.'

Polterkitty stared at him, the words almost incomprehensible to her. No 'you are hideous' or 'you must be pretty at once'? No allergy-triggering powder? No distain dripping from every word? It was nothing like the love that Master gave her. And yet, it was better in every way.

'A-ha!' E. Gadd declared, showing the vacuum off. 'Sonny, the Poltergust has now been upgraded!'

Luigi, with just a little hesitance, stood up. While he walked over to the professor, Daisy glanced at Polterpup.

'Hey Poltiepup,' She said. 'I'm gonna need another shoe. I have a spare in my suitcase, which is hopefully still in my room. 501, if you need reminding. Could you-?'

And, before she could even finish her request, Polterpup had already disappeared in a flash.

'Uh, thanks?'

Luigi put his Poltergust back on, feeling the rush of energy travelling through his nerves as he reconnected with Gooigi.

'So, um, what does this upgrade do, exactly?' He asked.

'Does it increase the efficiently of cleaning windows by zero-point-zero-one percent?' Daisy remarked.

'That, and something much more grand!' said. 'Not only will your slams be more powerful than ever, but I have increased the suction power exponentially. I call it... SUPER SUCTION!'

Luigi held the nozzle in his hand, his eyes sparkling as he stared at it in awe.

'Ooo...'

'Clever name.' Daisy said. 'So what's the catch?'

'Bold of you to assume that there is a catch! ... Unfortunately, you are correct. You have to plug it into a special electrical socket, or some other source of strong electricity, to actually use Super Suction. A minor inconvenience that you can surely handle!'

Luigi glanced at his hand, noting the electrical scorch marks on his glove. Another source of electricity, huh?

'Quick warning,' E. Gadd added. 'When you do activate Super Suction, the Poltergust may sound like a Boeing taking flight. In other words, it'll be really loud.'

Daisy sighed in disappointment. 'Well, I suppose we didn't go out for the upgrade.'

'Speak for yourself!' Gus yelled.

'So if you don't mind, I think we're ready to-'

'YIP!'

'EEP!'

Polterpup showed up right next to her, with her orange suitcase in his mouth. Daisy jumped so hard, she fell to the floor.

'Polterpup, don't DO that!'

The doggie paid hardly any attention to her scolding, and simply lay the suitcase down on the floor for her. Daisy looked around, and felt her cheeks reddening upon realising that everyone was staring at her. Gus's look was not of confusion, but more so 'really?'.

Parr giggled. 'What was that?'

'You okay, Daisy?'

Daisy felt her fight-or-flight instinct kicking in as the stares refused to leave her alone, not helped by how red she could feel her cheeks getting. To distract herself from the stares, she opened up her suitcase.

'Surprise.' She said. 'That was surprise. Geez...'

She took out a spare shoe and a sock, and put them on. Neither matched the ones she was already wearing, not that she really cared.

'Kay, now that I'm properly equipped,' She said. 'Where are we going now?'

'Floor ten.' Luigi answered. 'Which, uh, is one of the weirder floors.'

'What? Weirder than the castle?'

'Yes, actually. It's the Tomb Suites, and it's apparently a recreation of a Sand Kingdom pyramid.'

Now everyone was staring at him, with similar yet different looks of confusion.

'Excusez-moi?' Daisy questioned. 'An entire pyramid?'

'Yep. With chambers included. Apparently. Polterkitty, is there anything we should be worried about?'

With a gulp, Polterkitty gave him his answer with a shaky voice.

'Everything.'


CLEM AND BILLIE, THE TRASHY TWINS

AGE - 28

GENDER - Male (Clem), Female (Billie)

CAUSE OF DEATH - Drowned in... actually, you don't want to know

Clem and Billie Hayseed used to be the best plumbers in their town, until that VERY unfortunate outhouse incident. You'll typically find them either banjo-playing or collecting more rubber ducks. Just don't think they're married. They hate that. Yet, the two of them are tighter than bark on a tree.

CLEM, THE LAZY BROTHER

AGE - 28, the older

GENDER - Male

Clement may be the elder, but certainly isn't the responsible one. He prefers to lounge around all day, when he isn't checking up on his rubber ducks. Behind that lax nature, however, lays a surprisingly smart brain. If only he would be bothered to use it.

BILLIE, THE DIM-WITTED SISTER

AGE - 28, the younger

GENDER - Female

Wilhelmina, unlike her older brother, cannot sit still. She is always motivated to do something, even when it's just mopping the floor. Unfortunately, she hasn't quite got the brains to do anything with it. There's a drinking game to sip for every time she forgets how to spell her own name.


Author Notes - Oh boy! What fun it is to write a boss when you felt the need to add a twin! But seriously, it was quite the experience and I am never doing it again. I figured that since Daisy's been using the Poltergust across the last few chapters that Luigi should have a try at using the gloves.

With everyone's least favourite floor out of the way, we'll move on to arguably one of the best: the Tomb Suites! And, to say the least, Serpci may not be entirely what you're expecting her to be.


Clem and Billie can still easily recall the time they discovered their first rubber duck. It was a family heirloom - of sorts, considering that this was the first generation it was a part of - that they inherited. This annoyed their many siblings, who believed they were getting favouritism just for being the only twins in the family. Her name was Daphne, and she had the most beautiful necklace. She was the last thing of their family they ever had.

Hellen Gravely knew about their love for rubber ducks, so when she wasn't blackmailing them by threatening to hurt their twin she did so by using their ducks as bait. Both twins still had it burnt into their memory when Hellen ordered Polterkitty to rip Dorothy to shreds. They never let Polterkitty play with any other ducks after that, and they made sure to obey their boss. Daphne was next.