Author Notes - Insert gloat about not dying on this floor once here. Like the Boilerworks before it, the sheer length of this floor requires three chapters.

Alternative chapter name: I Don't Like Sand It's Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere.

What's this? This ancient Egyptian relic says that JDawg002, adamlawor, Dragon Of The Ecplising Moon, Lizbizwiz, and Ghasthunter have left favourites/follows, and must be thanked for their deeds! (Okay, but in all seriousness, I forgot to do this last chapter because I'm just that smart. So anyone who was missed last time has been acknowledged here! Hopefully.)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - TOMB RAIDER

In the silence of her artificial pyramid, a beautiful pharaoh ghost slept in her sarcophagus. As always, the coffin was not fully closed, with a slight opening to allow a slither of light to get through. She felt so relaxed in her sweet little home.

Serpci... Serpci... SERPCI!

'AHH!'

The pharaoh jumped awake, hitting her head on the lid of her bed. She breathed heavily, and looked around everywhere.

'What? Where?! Get away!'

The mystic voice of her boss sighed. Must you always panic every time you hear my voice?

Once Serpci realised it was just her boss speaking to her and not some scary creature, she sighed in relief. What a shame that ghosts could still blush.

'S-Sorry boss.' She said, trying to speak gracefully. 'I thought this was my break time. What has compelled you to interrupt me?'

Oh, sweet Serpci, you appear to be out of the loop. Our lovely guest is arriving at your floor.

Serpci's eyes widened. 'Wait, you mean it? You mean...?'

Why, yes! I mean the legendary Luigi himself!

Serpci almost didn't believe her. It didn't seem as if something like this could ever happen to her. Her mouth grew into a smile that got bigger every second.

'EEEEEEE!'

She shot out of her bed with the energy of a child who just got told she could star in her favourite movie franchise. She spun around in the air, and flew over to a part of the wall of her tomb.

Her tomb was beautifully decorated with ancient rugs and urns, along with real treasures, but this wall was her favourite part of the hotel. It was a picture of her hero, surrounded by a beautiful Sand Kingdom background, carved into the stone wall and painted with bright vibrant colours. The green-clad plumber depicted posed like the humans in hieroglyphics.

I still think you should get rid of that ugly carving.

Serpci crossed her arms. 'Well, it's my pyramid. If I want pictures of my hero, then I'll have pictures of my hero.' She smiled again. 'I can't believe... I finally get to meet him! I've been waiting my whole afterlife for this!'

This statement was rather inaccurate, as she had only known about Luigi's existence for a few years. It didn't feel like only a mere few years to her though.

You are making quite the fool of yourself. I think you should know that.

Serpci's big smile dropped, and she adopted a far more serious look. Her tensed arms fell, and resumed a crossed position.

'Yes. Of course. A graceful pharaoh such as myself should not act like such a child.' A small squeal slipped through her teeth.

But I do have good news for you, Serpci. How would you like to have Luigi as your friend forever?

Serpci scoffed. 'I'm afraid I don't exactly trust you, Boss.'

Ah, so you say. But why would I lie about something this important to you?

The pharaoh cocked an eyebrow. Her gut told her this was a big red flag. Granted, her gut feeling often went overboard over things like mice, but she knew she could trust it this time.

'Sorry Boss.' She said, shaking her head. 'No deal. As excited as I am to talk to my hero, it is simply not right to force him into a life like what you obviously have planned. As a fan, I want him to be happy.'

Hellen laughed. Oh, naive little Serpci. You truly want to be with Luigi forever. You need him by your side at all times. Admit it, sweetie. You want him.

Serpci tried to ignore the words, but even her power couldn't overcome it. Her ability to deny slipped away, and she unleashed a fit of giggling that got more and more unhinged by the second.

'Yes... YES! I shall have Luigi all for myself! And I will make him love me the same way I adore him! He'll be mine FOREVER!'

She returned to her sarcophagus and lay back down on her bed, awaiting the moment her hero came around.


After the horrors of the surprisingly frightening boilerworks, the trio hoped for a much easier floor ten. Judging by Polterkitty's reactions though, they were in for their hardest trek yet. The way she spoke of the terrifying Serpci and her deadly traps... it put Luigi on edge. Polterkitty would've mentioned the whole 'big fan' thing, but she recalled Serpci forbidding her ever mentioning that to outsiders.

The elevator door opened, and before Luigi even stepped out of the cage he winced from the musty smell. The door opening had scattered sand particles into the air, and it made his nose sting.

The elevator hall resembled something straight out of a pharaoh's throne room. The yellow brick work made it look like a pyramid. The floor was decorated with green lounges, a few dusty vases, and a fruit basket. The fruits in which smelled slightly rotten. Polterpup sniffed them, and even he didn't feel like eating them. There was a giant triangular plate in the middle of the floor.

'Again,' Daisy said. 'HOW is this in a hotel?! What kind of a budget does Hellen have?'

Glancing around at the actually rather pretty deco in the room, she walked forward and stepped on the metal plate. Her heart almost stopped when it sunk into the floor.

'Oh lord...'

The four pillars in the room spun around, revealing metal snake heads that aimed at where she stood.

'Oh dear...'

Poison-tipped arrows fired from the snake heads, and all four projectiles shot for her face.

'AH!'

She jumped back, all four arrows missing her and crashing into the walls instead. One in particular whisked straight past her eyes. It made her frightened heart beg for more oxygen.

'I hate this floor already!' She yelled. 'Hate it, hate it, hate it! I've already got gashes on my chest. I sure as hell don't need an arrow to the face!'

She breathed through her gritted teeth, her breath growing increasingly intense in an attempt to curb her tears.

'Uh, Daisy?'

Her heart skipped a beat. She had totally forgotten that her plumber could actually accompany her on this adventure.

'That, uh, was still surprise.' She said. 'Not fear. Seriously, why do you guys keep thinking it's the same thing?'

'Um, did you need to specify that it wasn't fear?'

'Just needed to make the distinction. That was all.'

Luigi cocked an eyebrow. Already, he had some suspicions over her 'no fear' claims, and her shaky tone didn't help. Don't be silly, Luigi. Why would she be scared of anything?

'And that's trap number one.' Polterkitty said, the words making Luigi shudder.

'Um, trap one?' He echoed. 'How many traps are there?'

'Uh, that depends. Are we talking all the traps, or just the ones that kill you in minutes?'

His face went as pale as a vampire.

'Okay,' Daisy said, stepping around the triangular plate. 'I do NOT want to know what her answer was.'

'She said-'

'I do NOT. Want. To know.'

Polterkitty walked across to the hallway going down the left - can never have too many of those - with her massive paws kicking up dust with each step. She hoped that maybe, just maybe, Serpci would make it easy on them and gladly give Luigi the button. She didn't mention this possibility to her team-mates; no need to set them up for disappointment.

'If we keep going this way,' She said. 'We'll find Serpci's tomb. Believe me when I say that you cannot miss it.'

As the group travelled down the hallway, the one with a bronze cobra head at the end, Luigi ran his glove across the wall. The amount of dust it picked up was extraordinary. If they had any time to, he'd vacuum up every single speck.

They passed a banner, made entirely of woven fabric that the hotel claimed to be authentic, with lovely cream-coloured tassels. It depicted a pyramid by a river, surrounded by palm trees and a gorgeous sunset. Luigi leaned forward, paying attention to every individual stitch. Though there was seemingly more sand than actual fabric and it was clear it wasn't nearly as old as it claimed to be, it had to be woven by hand.

'Wowie...'

'Uh, Luigi.' Daisy said from a little further down. 'You might wanna look at this.'

Luigi saw the rest of his team staring at the second banner hung up on the wall, and only when he rejoined them did he understand why.

'M-Momma mia...'

This banner depicted a man, performing the famous 'walk like an Egyptian' pose associated with hieroglyphics. This man, done up in a green shirt, green cap, and blue overalls, had a red vacuum cleaner on his back.

In other words, the man depicted on the banner didn't just look like Luigi. He was Luigi.

'Um... w-why is there a picture of me on the wall?' Luigi asked.

'I dunno.' Daisy said. 'Why are you asking me? Ask the kitty or something. I can't get over how weird this is!'

Up until this point, the various nicknames given to him - Green Kid, Green Lad, Green Guy to name a few - convinced him that no ghost in the hotel aside from King Boo and Ms Gravely knew who he was. This banner threw that out the ten storey window, at least for Serpci.

'Uh, Polterkitty? Can you tell me why Serpci has a picture of me on the wall?'

'I would tell you,' The Pathergeist said. 'But I promised her I wouldn't tell outsiders.'

'Well,' He gulped. 'I-I guess I can respect her privacy.'

'Which is why we're breaking into her floor.' Daisy said. 'Speaking of which... come on!'

Near the end of the hallway, they came across a door with an arch somewhat resembling the entrance to a pyramid. It had been painted lovely colours that had faded away from time, or at least it mimicked paint fading throughout the years. It made Luigi feel like an actual tomb explorer, a tomb raider if you will, about to uncover some sort of amazing secret in the pyramid's chambers. He couldn't tell if he liked that feeling, or hated it.

There was just one thing stopping his ancient adventure - a large heap of sand piled in front of the door, just enough to cover the handle.

Daisy groaned. 'Gah, I hate sand! It's coarse, and rough, and... so IRRITATING!'

'And it gets everywhere.' Luigi added. 'But the Poltergust should be able to deal with it. Hopefully.'

'I'd hope so too.'

Luigi aimed his Poltergust at the pile and began sucking up every last grain of sand. The fine dust travelled through the vacuum just as easily as ghost energy did. It disappeared grain by grain in a way that resembled water and gave Luigi perhaps more satisfaction than it should have. He didn't stop until all the sand was gone, even long after he removed enough for them to get through.

Daisy smiled. 'My castle is going to be so much cleaner when you move in.'

'Don't you have maids that clean up for you?'

'Well, yeah, but as a gardener I bring so much mud indoors that they sometimes give up for the day.'

He chuckled. 'Maybe I won't be moving in after all.'

'HEY!'

Luigi opened the door, to a sight that the mortals nor their ghost dog expected.

It was like the door had teleported them to the Sand Kingdom itself. A starry night sky (actually painted) surrounded a desert landscape filled with remains of ancient structures and treasures. Among the slight dunes stood a glorious pyramid, perhaps not as big as the real ones but still big. Though most of the outing covering was long gone, mostly thanks to looters, slivers of the limestone walls and golden top could be seen from their reflections of the dim 'stars'.

Daisy shivered. 'I-I forgot... d-deserts are F-FREEZING at night!'

Luigi shivered too, but that wasn't his main concern. By opening the door, he scattered sand particles into the air. His nose tickled from the irritating grains.

'AH-CHOO!'

Daisy jumped back, her heart stopping for a moment. 'Oh g-geez, that w-was you! Are y-you a-a-alright?'

'Yeah.' He sniffed. 'I'm just, um, sensitive to dust and stuff.'

'Ah. That w-would explain a l-lot.'

Polterkitty stepped out in front, making sure her steps didn't scatter too much dust for the sake of Luigi. Her ethereal skin barely felt much of the cold at all, but she could still feel the cold breeze generated by the fans passing through her fur.

'That's where Serpci usually stays, in her pyramid replica.' She explained. 'She doesn't leave very often.'

'Uh, then I guess that's where we're going.' Luigi said.

The group began making their way over to the wonder of the world in the middle of the giant room. This had to be one of the quietest parts of the entire hotel yet.

'Okay, s-seriously!' Daisy said, looking around. 'H-How do t-they af-f-ford to k-keep a p-place like this i-in a h-hotel?!'

Luigi was too busy focusing on her to let the scenery sink in. He could see the goosebumps on her arms. Turned out that shorts and a T-shirt was a bad outfit for exploring a night-time desert. Luigi felt bad for her; at least his get-up was warmer than hers.

'You okay, Daisy?' A bit of a silly question, but a good conversation-starter.

A silly question indeed, considering that the 25-degree-Fahrenheit heat made her shiver so much that her teeth clattered. She rubbed her crossed arms in any attempt to warm herself up even slightly.

'I-I am f-fine!' She claimed, to no avail. 'Y-You t-think I c-c-can't handle the c-c-cold?'

'Your teeth are clattering.'

'I kn-kn-KNOW THAT, L-Luigi! S-Sarasaland isn't e-exactly known f-for being c-cold. T-Tell that t-the pyramid is w-w-warmer.'

Polterkitty answered with a meow that Daisy had no hope of understanding.

'She says that Serpci keeps the inside of her pyramid heated.' Luigi translated.

Daisy sighed in relief. 'Oh t-t-thank the g-gods.'

They ascended the short flight of stairs that led up to the entrance, which was similar to the last door except now topped with a stone snake head. A solid slab of hand-carved rock covered up the door. The entrance was 'guarded' by two statues of Serpci herself, both holding a snake-shaped staff but one holding it higher than the other.

Daisy knocked on the slab. 'So, is t-there an invisible d-d-door h-here, or...?'

Polterkitty, cursing for a moment that only one mortal could understand her at a time, shook her head. She walked over to the statue with its arm raised. Checking to make sure that the others were watching her, she grabbed the raised arm with her mouth and moved it down to match the other statue.

'Uh, are you sure you should be doing that?' Luigi asked.

As if to answer his question, the eyes of both statues glowed. The stone slab blocking the door shook about, loosening some sand, before it slid upwards far enough to reveal the entire door behind it.

'Oh.' Daisy said. 'Why t-though?'

Polterkitty shrugged.

'Is t-the entire f-floor l-like that?'

The kitty didn't answer, and just gave her an awkward stare.

'Oh j-j-joy.'

'Well,' Luigi said. 'We won't get it over and done with if we don't go inside.'

The inside of the 'ancient' tomb was, as promised, much warmer than the outside. In fact, it was at quite possibly the most comfortable temperate in the hotel. Right after all four members of the party got inside, Daisy relaxed her muscles as the warmth greeted her.

'Ooh yeah...' She murmured. 'That's the stuff.'

Luigi shined his flashlight across the room. It certainly felt like he had entered a tomb, yet one that was refurbished to be a comfortable living space. The heater in the corner of the room, though painted to match the sandy walls, ruined the otherwise impressive illusion. A cupboard, a lounge, a leaf fan... the four torches surrounding the coffin in the middle couldn't quite keep up the ancient façade.

The light of the 'moon' - actually a powerful ceiling light - shone down on the sarcophagus through a hole in the ceiling. All four torches lit themselves at once, the flames bursting from thin air.

Luigi flinched. 'Wah!'

Polterpup sniffed the air, sensing about ten forms of danger. 'I have a bad feeling about this...'

'Y-Yeah. Me too.'

Luigi's nerves went stiff when he shone his light over another picture of him on the wall. Part of him thought it might have been someone else - like that slightly shorter Luigi he met during some galactic adventures who apparently 'came from another dimension to help out' - but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was indeed him.

Daisy, very casually, approached the slightly-open sarcophagus. 'Now let's see what treasures you're hiding.'

'Daisy? Don't! You could-'

The princess ignored his warning, and pushed the lid open just a little bit more. She immediately regretted it when she saw who lay inside.

'Uh, Luigi?'

'What have you done now?'

'I, uh, think I found her.'

Serpci looked so calm and relaxed, lying in her resting place with her arms crossed. Until her eyes shot wide open.

'EEK!'

Daisy jumped back, landing inelegantly on her rear on top of a circular carving in the floor. Before Luigi could even begin to question that, Serpci exited her sarcophagus, floating in a way very akin to a snake slithering through a grassy thicket. Her body and arms moved in an almost hypnotic fashion.

'I am Serpci Sphynx, ruler of the sands.' She chanted. 'What brings you to my magnificent lands?'

She stared down at the terrified princess, her gentle yet domineering glare practically forcing an answer. Not that Daisy would allow herself to look scared much longer.

'Listen Queenie! I don't have time for this. Just give me the button so we can get out of here!'

Serpci just giggled. Luigi backed away just a bit, not even entertaining the thought of abandoning Daisy.

'You seem quite cocky, my brave little sweetie.' The pharaoh mused. 'What makes you think you can beat this Nefertiti?'

Daisy scoffed. 'Please. We captured every ghost below you and we'll do the same to you!'

The smile on Serpci's face dropped. Completely. It morphed into a small frown and then a scowl.

'Excuse me?' She questioned. 'Did you just say you captured every ghost before me? Every one?'

'Yep! So how about you save yourself some trouble and give us any elevator buttons and/or portraits you have on you now?'

'Including the king?'

'Uh, you mean that delusional actor? Yeah... why him?'

Serpci's body language hardly changed at all, aside from her clenched fist, but her orange aura shifted to a more red colour. Luigi squeaked in alarm, while Daisy regretted a decision for the second time.

'You captured my sweet, sweet husband?!' Serpci yelled.

Daisy did a double-take. 'Wait, your hus-? That guy was your husband?!'

Luigi could feel the angry vibes emanating from the pharaoh, even after she regained her composure.

'For your crimes against my sweet William MacFrights, you shall now be trapped in my tomb for a-thousand-and-one nights!'

She snapped her fingers, and on its cue the carving beneath Daisy opened up. She had all of half-a-second to even comprehend her situation before she plummeted down screaming into the chamber below.

'DAISY!'

Polterpup stepped forward and growled at Serpci, to which she paid no mind at all. If anything, she floated over to Luigi much closer than he was comfortable with.


'AAAHHHH-! Oof!'

Daisy landed on her rear again, this time after a much higher fall. Whatever she landed on was hard as rock, yet covered in what felt like snake scales. She looked up, and saw the hole that she fell through.

It was at least two storeys above her.

'Greaaat...'

She had no time to check out her new surroundings, as the platform beneath her disappeared just like the one above.

'WAAAH!'

This fall ended quicker, and a little more softly. Instead of hard rock, she landed in a pile of sand. Somehow managing to get her head stuck in the grains. If she could've, she would've spouted several vulgar words.

She swung her legs forward and yanked her head out of the sand, coughing out the many grains that got trapped in her throat.

'Sweet Luvbi. I'd rather deal with a Thorny Menace taking over my castle than this!'

At that moment, she looked up with a gasp.

'Luigi...'


The green-clad plumber was not doing much better, thanks to Serpci getting uncomfortably close to his face. He leaned back a bit, but could still feel her ghostly breath on his nose.

'Now that she's out of the way,' She said. 'You can be mine forever!'

Luigi gulped. Polterpup growled. Polterkitty wondered what the heck was up with her.

'Um, w-what?' Was all Luigi could say.

Serpci giggled. 'Oh, Luigi. You silly little snake. Don't you know? I'm your biggest fan!'

His cheeks turned a deep shade of red. He never thought anyone would say that about him, and now that someone had he wished they never did.

'Y-You are?'

'Oh, I love you, Luigi! You're so brave and glorious. And with that princess gone, you're all mine!'

Luigi gulped back bile. 'Um, I-I'm taken. And, uh, aren't y-you married?'

Serpci giggled again, and blew him a 'kiss' made entirely of a small sandy blast to the face. He shivered, and fought the urge to sneeze in her face.

'Don't be silly, Luigi! I don't love you like that. My sweet William could never be replaced. But I still want you. And my boss has promised me that I will have you on the walls forever!'

Luigi's eyes darted to the hole. He took one step to the left to get around the pharaoh ghost, but she kept her face inches away from his.

'L-Listen, Serpci. I-I don't think your boss has your best interests in mind.'

'But she knows how much you matter to me. She wouldn't lie about that! And she's promised me that I can keep you forever, just as long as I- OWW!'

Polterpup chomped down on her tail, growling like a beast defending its babies. Luigi took this moment, and jumped down the hole after Daisy.

'GET OFF ME!' Serpci shouted, ripping Polterpup off her tail. 'If you get between me and Luigi, I swear to my father above, I will-!'

Polterpup leapt out of her hands and disappeared after his owner. Polterkitty, not wishing to deal with an angry Serpci even when as a panther, flashed the pharaoh a nervous smile before joining her team-mates down the hole.

'You get back here, Neferkitty! And you better bring the courageous Luigi to me!'

Then it dawned on her: perhaps Luigi being forever lost in her chambers wasn't so bad after all. Someone as amazing as him could survive the traps with ease.


Luigi fell all the way through to the bottom, his fall being cushioned only slightly by him landing directly in Daisy's lap. Sand and dust scattered everywhere as both humans groaned in pain.

'Oh, hey there Luigi. Decided to drop on by, eh?'

'Daisy? Daisy! Are you o... o... - AH-CHOO! - okay?'

'I'd say more than you, but frankly I have no idea anymore. I heard everything from down here. What's it like having a fangirl?'

'I don't like it.'

Luigi got to his feet - a tough task considering the uneven terrain - mostly so Daisy could do the same. They were trapped in a circular chamber, lit only by the dim light of Luigi's torch, its bottom filled up with sand.

'So,' Daisy said, admiring the way her voice echoed about fifty times. 'Did you have a plan when you jumped down here? Or did you just-?'

'Jump down here without thinking? Yep.'

'Eh, it's not like I would've done anything smarter. Maybe we should-'

She got interrupted by a big pink ghostly panther landing on her as it touched the ground, thanks to Polterkitty's pedant preventing her from simply floating down. Fortunately, though Daisy got a mouthful of sand again, even as a massive beast Polterkitty weighed barely anything at all. It was the equivalent of getting 'crushed' by a Styrofoam cube.

Polterkitty either didn't know or didn't care that she crushed the princess, as she merely purred once she was in Luigi's presence again. Polterpup came floating down after her, flying in a spiralling fashion before he perched himself at his owner's feet.

Daisy dragged herself out from under the Panthergeist's body, thankful that her only major injury was covered up and unlikely to get infested with sand.

'Alright, Kitty.' She said, dusting herself off. 'Tell me you know what to do, or I'm gonna have to hurt you.'

Polterkitty flinched. Knowing well that Daisy had no way of understanding her, she delivered her information to Luigi.

'She says that she hasn't been here in a while,' He translated. 'But she remembers the puzzles kinda well.'

'Kinda?'

'Hey, it's better than nothing. She at least knows how to get us out of this chamber.'

'Yeah, that'd probably be a good start.'

Polterkitty, who was unfortunate enough to take up at least a third of the available surface, turned herself around and headed for the closest thing the chamber had to a 'corner'. She dug through the sand, making quick work of it thanks to her massive paws, until she uncovered another Serpci statue resting by the wall.

Like one of the statues before, this statue had its arm raised. She grabbed the raised arm and slid it into its proper position, prompting the eyes to glow. One of the walls on the chamber slid down and sunk into the sand, revealing a small hallway.

'Okay, I get it.' Daisy said. 'There's gonna be rooms with puzzles we gotta solve, and they involve something to do with these statues. Correct?'

Polterkitty nodded, to which Daisy sighed. The princess stepped up into the hallway, shaking sand off her mismatched shoes, and helped her male partner lift himself and the Poltergust up the small step.

'I joked about it,' Daisy said. 'But seriously, that queenie is creeping me the heck out! The way she spoke of having you on her wall, forever? What is wrong with her?'

'She might be the creepiest one yet...' Luigi added.

As the group walked down the small hallway that Polterkitty could barely fit her body through, the Panthergeist thought about Serpci's actions. Not once did the pharaoh even hint that she wanted to 'have him on the walls forever'.

She growled to herself, knowing well that Master had something to do with it. But she wouldn't question it; Master always knew best. Yet, she began to wonder, did Master really know best?


'I believe every ghost deserves a second chance, if they're willing to cooperate. You're currently on chance number eleven right now, Ms Gravely.'

Wherever King Boo went off to when he wasn't discussing with her was beyond Hellen's capacity to care. All that mattered was that whenever he did return, he had very few nice words to say.

He didn't even sound angry. Just disappointed. Which Hellen saw as much, much worse. And it was beginning to make her nervous. She tapped her fingers together as he stared at her the same way headlights looked at a deer.

'N-Now Sweetie,' Hellen said. 'I know the situation seems very unfortunate right now.'

'Understatement of the century. Those hillbilly twins, of all ghosts, got close. Frustratingly close. It would've been preferable if they weren't close at all.'

'Oh, don't worry about that! Serpci is a powerful fighter, and there's no way she will pass up the opportunity to have her hero framed on the wall!'

'Uh huh. Didn't you say that Amadeus and Ug were the most trustworthy of them all? And that caveman lost to the princess with hardly any experience at all.'

Hellen wiped away some sweat from her brow. 'Uh, well... if that confounded man hadn't won them over with his diplomacy, they would've succeeded.'

'Surrendering is just as bad as getting beaten.'

The hotel owner felt ill. What luck it was for her trap to fail just once after so many years, on the most important attempt of all. She watched the mortals navigate the passageway, and use Gooigi to get around a simple poison arrow trap.

'He just... has so much!' She said. 'His Poltergust, that gooey body, that cocky little princess, that horrid dog-!'

'And your pet?'

Hellen chuckled. 'My sweet Polterkitty is too clever for that. If all else fails, she'll double-cross that plumber and hand him to me directly. And if she doesn't... well, that's what the electroshock collars are for.'

The nonchalant way she said that managed to unnerve even King Boo. No matter how useless his own minions were, he was a saint to them compared to Hellen.

'Uh, riiight. May I ask why Serpci has pictures of that... man in her floor?'

Hellen groaned. 'I keep telling her to remove those ugly banners, but she never listens! Why she looks up to that waste is beyond me.'


The passageway wasn't that long, and with Polterkitty's help getting up the ladder at the end wasn't so bad either. The top of the ladder lead to a much smaller corridor, with barely enough surface area to fit all four of them. At the end of the tiny corridor was one of many sarcophaguses to be found in the pyramid's walls.

Daisy, with a weary sigh, approached the coffin that served as their way out.

'Be careful when you open that.' Polterkitty warned. 'When you open it, there might be some-'

Of course, Daisy couldn't understand her warning, and opened the coffin up without hesitation. It took her by more-than-surprise when three bats swooped out of the golden husk, squeaking incessantly as they flew by her head.

'AH!'

'Wah!'

Like most wild animals, the bats had no intention of fighting and simply flew away back down the ladder. One in particular bumped its head into the wall on its way down.

Daisy barely managed to not explode. 'Okay, mind telling me why that coffin had bats in it?!'

Polterkitty shrugged, much to the princess's frustration. Against his better judgement, Luigi peered into the now empty coffin to see that it had no back. It lead directly into the next room, like a door frame without the door.

He gulped. 'H-Here goes nothing...'

On the other side was the massive chamber that Daisy was only able to see for a brief moment. Though not as big as the atrium of the Garden Suites, it had to be at least as big as the Great Stage.

Coffins with snake heads lined the walls. The middle of three doors stood underneath a giant headless statue big enough to take up the entire wall, and had two snake sculpture holding boulders in their mouths guarding it. The dusty brown bricks that made up the walls and floor, unlike those in Castle MacFrights, seemed genuine. In the middle of the giant room was the pit that they were just in.

Daisy's eyes drifted up to a fourth door, one that no doubt was the way out. Just one problem - the door was on a platform near the ceiling, with seemingly no way of climbing up to it.

'Kitty, please,' She said. 'For the love of Grambi, tell me that non-ghosts can get out of here. PLEASE.'

Polterkitty didn't appreciate the two-step translation but still she explained the floor to Luigi, pausing every now and then so he could relay the message.

'This room is kinda like an escape room, uh, thing.' She explained. 'There are three puzzle rooms you have to beat, and once you do sand will fill the room and grant you access to that door up there. The thing is... the traps are made for ghosts, who can't die. Obviously. But since you're both mortals, the traps might...'

'Well?' Daisy asked, after Luigi finished. 'The traps might what?'

Luigi shrugged. 'She didn't say. I'm guessing the answer is,' He gulped. 'They might kill us.'

The princess shuddered. She glanced at the three doors, dreading what lay behind each one of them.

'Then what are we waiting for?' She said. 'It's either that, starve to death, or get captured by King Boo. If we're gonna die, I want to at least do it on my own terms!'

Luigi managed to smile; her enthusiasm and determination was exactly what he needed to get himself through this. Her apparent willingness to die did disturb him somewhat, though.

'And I think the first room we should try is... that one!' She declared, pointed at the rightmost door. 'For no other reason than it's the closest.'

Luigi looked at that door, and got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The same uneasy feeling he had since the beginning of this adventure. Regardless, he followed the rest of his group through the door and into the first room.

Sand covered the entire floor, aside from four randomly placed platforms that stuck out from the dunes at varying heights. One platform stood in the back corner, holding another Serpci statue in need of an arm-lowering. The 'ceiling' was comprised of a giant steel slab, held up by sturdy chains.

'So if I have this right, I just gotta fix up the arm on the statue. Right?' Daisy asked, to which the Panthergeist nodded. 'Sweet!'

She ran across the sandy floor, over to the statue, without a care in the world despite the feeling of dread she still had. Her gut told her that it was too easy, but she ignored the warnings.

'Wait, Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'Don't-!'

His warning, on the other hand, she bothered to listen to. She stopped running the moment her foot touched the platform, but when the statue sunk into the stone she knew she had reacted too late.

'Uh oh...' She muttered.

At first, everything was quiet. Too quiet, as it were, so much so that both mortals could hear each other's breath from opposite sides of the room. The silence broke when a bronze snake head popped out of each of the other platforms. All three heads turned to the point where one of the chains connected to the wall.

'I don't like where this is going...' Daisy muttered.

Everything hit the fan when the snake heads opened their jaws, revealing three lasers that all aimed directly at the chain. That point of the chain began to glow bright orange as the metal heated up to its melting point.

Daisy laughed like someone had a knife to her neck. 'Those lasers aren't real, right? Right? RIGHT?!'

She was quickly proven wrong when the chain shattered at that point, leaving it to fall limp to the ground. The steel slab above moved down a foot with a heart-stopping thud, stopped just barely by the other chains.

'WHAT THE HELL?!' Daisy shouted, her heart nearly giving up on the spot. 'Are you kidding me right now?!'

Any hope that either may have had that it would be the only chain to break was immediately dashed when the snake heads slowly began to turn their lasers towards another chain.

'M-M-Maybe there's another way- oh...'

Luigi turned around to run back out the door, with his friends in tow, only to see that a stone slab with Serpci's face carved into it had blocked his only way out.

'Uh, m-maybe we should... gah!...'

The lasers already began their work, heating up the next of the few chains holding up their metallic doom. Luigi pounded his head, trying to think up of any sort of solution.

'Luigi!' Polterkitty yelled. 'This is part of the puzzle. All you have to do is-'

Daisy cried out in frustration, and stumbled over to the middle platform. Emphasis on stumble, as her movements were clumsy on the bumpy ground. Caring none for the grains infesting her shoes, she climbed up onto the platform and bashed her fist into the metal snake's forehead.

It didn't shattered, surprisingly, but it closed its jaws and put its laser away. With its purpose served, it disappeared back into the platform like it was never there at all. Daisy muttered many exasperated swears to herself. The only thing that was decent was a bewildered 'that WORKED?!'.

'Yeah, that.' Polterkitty said. 'You do that. I'd do one, but breaking the snake heads is considered a foul, and it drops the ceiling immediately.'

Another chain shattered, scattering its hot metal pieces onto Luigi. He cringed from the hot metal singeing his skin, his clothes just barely creating a thin barrier to prevent anything severe.

'Can ghosts deactivate them?' He asked.

'Well, considering that this is meant for ghosts,' Polterpup said. 'I'm going to assume the answer is yes!'

'N-Not the time boy! I need you to deactivate that one over there!'

He pointed at the laser in the left corner opposite the one with the statue. It was the tallest of the platforms, being taller than Luigi himself. Polterpup gave him a tail salute, and floated over to the snake head. He slammed his entire body onto it, deactivating it and sending it away in seconds.

'You're doing it!'

Now with just one last laser to deactivate, the chains would surely be destroyed far slower. Still, the remaining laser had begun work on the next set of chains.

'I got this!' Daisy declared.

The final platform was tall, but nothing that Daisy couldn't handle. She hoisted herself up on top with barely a sweat, at least compared to the way she was already sweating. With a confident smirk, she bopped it on the head.

Nothing happened. Her heart racing, she bopped it again. And again. And again.

'Why isn't it working?!' She yelled.

Another chain broke, sending the steel ceiling of death one step closer to our mortal heroes.

'P-Polterkitty,' Luigi said, about ready to throw up. 'W-Why won't it work?'

Polterkitty did not want to admit that she had no idea. Initially. Now that she peered at the snake head closer, it was surrounded by a similar energy to the paranormal gates. The difference was that only ghosts could see it.

'You got an answer as to why it won't work yet?!' Daisy demanded, yearning to smash the damn thing.

Neither Luigi nor Polterkitty responded. They were too focused on a ripple in the sand, one that moved around and seemed to be approaching Daisy. The man saw nothing but a slight shift in the sand, but the cat saw a ghost.

'Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'There's a Slinker coming right for you!'

'Great. Can ya help me out with that?'

'Uh, will d-do!'

Luigi set foot onto the sand, following right behind the moving ripple. Yet another chain collapsed, leaving only a few more left. The steel slab was now so down low, it touched the highest tip of Daisy's hair.

'Any time would be nice!' She cried, hearing the Slinker laughing right in her ear.

Luigi wasted no time and flashed the Strobulb, without even waiting for it to charge up.

'Hey!' The Slinker said upon realising he had been stunned. 'Bud, what makes you think that you can-?'

Luigi also wasted no time listening to this Slinker speak, and got to sucking him up straight away. Even on terrain as rough as the sandy dunes, he managed to keep his grip no matter how much the ghost panicked.

Daisy watched him in awe. How in the Underwhere did he manage to do that so well in such awful conditions?

'I'm suing whatever company you work for for this!' The Slinker yelled.

The plumber, more than a little fed up, slammed him into one of the platforms. As he bashed the Slinker's face in, Luigi noticed something about the slams. They came out far quicker, and stronger to boot. No doubt the result of that upgrade.

Thanks to the upgrade, the Slinker had been reduced to cosmic atoms in the Poltergust by the time another chain was broken. Daisy ducked as the ceiling nearly snapped her neck.

'Now, Daisy!'

With all her might, Daisy slammed both her fists into the head of the snake. Whatever power the Slinker had over it was gone, as this time Daisy's bash connected. The snake head closed its jaws, and disappeared.

'Tell me, for the love of JAYDES, that we are done with this room!'

As if to answer her question, horizontal paranormal gates formed just under the ceiling to keep it in place.

Luigi fell to his knees, holding back tears of fear and relief. Daisy resisted doing the same thing, sweating like crazy. Polterpup ran into his owner's arms, which made them both happier.

The Serpci statue from before re-emerged, and without a second's delay Daisy ran over to it and lowered its arm. Its eyes glowed purple, and the stone slab that blocked their way out lifted. Luigi was too exhausted to celebrate, but Daisy wasn't.

'Holy crap, we did it!' She declared. She then added, in a far sadder voice, 'Only two more to go...'

Luigi wiped his brow and turned to the Panthergeist. 'Gattina, please tell me... that was the hardest of the three... please.'

Polterkitty's eyes darted back and forth. 'Well, it's certainly the quickest one.'

The plumber let out a sound akin to a mix of a sigh, a groan, and a whimper. He wondered if he would get out of this situation alive, let alone in one piece.

'Hey, if we got through this, then the next two will be easy!' Daisy said. 'I-I hope...'

Polterkitty didn't dare tell them that their chances of succeeding were incredibly low. Confidence could be a game-changer, especially in an area as dangerous as Serpci's pyramid.

'And since I don't trust this ceiling to not crush us,' Daisy said, slowly walking backwards towards the door. 'We're moving on right now.'

Once she got her hand on the door handle, she opened it and dashed right on through. She ran through it so quickly that it slammed shut just as quickly as it was opened. By the time Luigi processed the situation, she was already on the other side.

'Ooo-kay? I-I guess we should go then.'

Polterpup yipped, and hopped right through the door to rejoin Daisy. Luigi reached for the door handle, unaware of something awaiting him in the sands.

A rattlesnake stuck its head out of the sand, right behind him. It bared its sharp teeth, and licked the air. Soaking its fangs with its venom, it rattled its tail and pounced. Luigi and Polterkitty spun around, alerted to the rattle. By the time they witnessed the reptile leaping at them, it was too late.

'AHHH!'

Luigi fell to the floor, screaming in pain as the snake sunk its fangs deep into his leg. It pierced through his thick overalls, and began to inject its venom into his bloodstream.

'G-GET OFF ME!'

He flailed his leg around to shake it off, but it only made it dug its teeth in further. Despite it clearly not working, Luigi continued to kick about in a panic.

He felt the weight of his legs suddenly increasing, far quicker than it should have. In fact, every part of his body began to feel heavy. Even his eyes struggled to stay open. He could feel the world getting darker.

In his last moments of full consciousness, he realised the snake was venomous. He chuckled - of all the ways to go down in a haunted hotel, it had to be a regular old snake.

'ROWWWRR!'

Not if Polterkitty had anything to say about it.

The moment she saw the snake chomp his mortal flesh, the cat grabbed it by the neck and dug her teeth in as deep as she could. She didn't dare yank on it, in case it just grabbed on even tighter.

'LUIGI!'

Daisy burst back through the door, and gasped upon seeing her plumber falling unconscious on the ground. As soon as her eyes settled on the snake, she screamed. Polterpup was about ready to rip that snake to shreds, and only stopped himself from doing so because Polterkitty was doing a fine enough job of that herself.

'LUIGI!' Daisy screamed again, falling to her knees.

Luigi looked up at her grief-stricken face. He felt awful staring into those teary eyes, loathing that this would be his final sight.

Then, a far more comforting thought dawned on him. If he could still rationally think, then he wasn't gone yet.

'Daisy?'

'Luigi?!' Her voice came out worn and hoarse. 'Oh no, you are not gonna die on me! HELL no!'

He gave her the strongest smile he could. 'Don't worry. I'm not done yet.'

Polterkitty almost turned the snake into putty in her teeth, but didn't let go until its body stopped shaking. Once she was absolutely certain the snake had stopped moving, she tore its body away from its weakened grip and plopped it onto the sandy floor. Any other snake in the room stayed well away from her.

'Luigi, you better Grambi-damn tell me you're not going to die!'

He reached his arm out and grabbed her hand, already noticing his body didn't seem so heavy anymore.

'It's okay.' He said, breathing harshly. 'I was afraid I would die too.'

Polterpup whimpered, and nudged his owner's cheek with his nose. Luigi used his free hand to give him a quick stroke on the head.

Daisy wiped her tears and looked to Polterkitty. 'Please Kitty, tell me that Luigi will survive.'

With a big grin, the cat nodded. 'Miao-aow!'

'She says that... that snake's venom will make me sluggish for a bit... but if we just relax for a few minutes... I'll be okay.'

Tears threatened to fall from Daisy's face once again, but this time from all the relief slamming into her at once. She knelt down to the floor and rested her head on his chest. His heart-rate was scarily slow, but slowly returning to its usual slightly-above-average pace.

'I don't feel safe in this room.' Daisy said. 'Can we drag him out?'

Polterkitty nodded.

'Alright. Gotta be careful...'

Daisy grabbed him by his underarms, and slowly dragged him out the door. As she did so, Luigi found the world becoming brighter and brighter.

'You know,' He said. 'I should be good to go now.'

'Oh no, my sweet Luigi!' Daisy replied. 'You are resting here until I know you'll be safe.'

He chose not to argue with her, though he felt just fine already. No harm in being sure. And he had to admit, lying there while looking up at Daisy had to be one of the greatest experiences of this 'vacation'.

Both him and Daisy let the moment sink in, knowing well they'd have to go back into uncertain doom afterwards. But for the time being, they could relax.

Lord knows they needed it.

Author Notes - I'm sure you're wondering why I made Serpci such a big Luigi fan. Notice how her pyramid, in-game, has a couple images of Luigi sprinkled about? Making her a Weegee fan was my explanation for this. As for the in-story reason... you'll have to wait. To say the least, I am very proud with how I ended up characterising Serpci.

She has what I call the 'Sand Kingdom accent'. Since that kingdom is based on Mexico, and Serpci is based on the Egyptian Cleopatra, said accent can be seen as either Egyptian or Mexican. I personally lean towards the latter, but it's whatever you think it should be.


Serpci loved her father, King Sphynx of the Sand Kingdom. Though he could be a bit of a tyrant to his servants, he treated his daughter like the princess she was. It lead to her being a bit of a spoiled brat as a child.

Like most spoiled children, she received a heavy dose of reality when she got older. In her case, it happened when King Sphynx was assassinated via a poisoning. Due to being the last remaining member of the Sphynx lineage, Serpci inherited the throne.

And, though the consequences would only become obvious almost three decades later, forcing someone as young as Serpci to rule an entire kingdom was clearly a bad idea.