Author Notes - I may have passed all three puzzles without dying, but cheese-and-rice did they terrify me.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - A PYRAMID SCHEME
Hellen Gravely could just mind control her workers to do her bidding, but she found it far more enjoyable to play around with them first.
'Charles. Sam.' She spoke in an overly cheery tone to the Goobs in front of her. 'I know you're my most trusted workers.'
'You say that about everyone.' Charles remarked.
'It means literally nothing.' Sam added.
Hellen chuckled. This pair of Goobs was her favourite to mess around with. Annoying them with menial tasks, forcing them to deal with an angry Amadeus... it was quite the pleasure.
'And it's why I never send you to fight the horrid green man.' She continued like they never said anything. 'So how about you guard my office and be my meat shield- I mean, alert me when he approaches?'
Charles groaned. 'No, no, and no. So much nope. You've made our friends suffer too much, and we're done with it.'
'No way in the sweet name of Jaydes are we throwing ourselves into the line of danger just for you!' Sam cried.
Hellen just laughed again. She leaned over her desk, and gave them both a terrifying grin as she pulled out a remote with a big red button.
'Oh really?' She said. 'Let's see what little Lou has to say about it.'
The moment both their jaws fell got her every time. She could sense the exact point that she had grabbed them.
'You. Wouldn't. Dare.' Sam said, glaring directly into her eyes.
'You don't even know where our son is!' Charles said, unsure if it was really true.
'Don't I?' Hellen said with a wink. 'How can you be so sure? I have cameras everywhere, you know. How do you know that I haven't strapped an electroshock collar to him, ready to shock him at any given moment?'
She swam in that fantastic sensation, adoring the very thought of putting them through this. What a perfect way to make them submissive.
Charles, for once, had no idea what to do or even say. Part of him desired to run up to Hellen and punch her in the jaw, but he knew that was a one way ticket to hell. With nothing else to turn to, he looked to his wife. Sam was not at all used to having pressure like this placed on her, but she already had made up her mind.
With a sigh, she answered. 'Alright Boss. We'll do it.'
'Wonderful! And while you're at it, find a particular cowardly Goob by the name of Grace. She was... part of Chambrea's trio of assistants, I believe. I heard she ran away from battle without a care. That requires proper retribution.'
Luigi's few minutes of rest were definitely over now. As tempting as it was for all four members of the party to just relax, they knew they had a job to do. Getting back onto his feet was difficult. He felt like he was on a rollercoaster loop as Daisy lifted him up.
'Are you okay there?' She asked as she got him standing up somewhat straight.
'No, this is Luigi. I'm not an okay there...'
She giggled, though she was seriously worried about him if that was his response.
'I repeat, are you okay there?'
'Uh, I... yes! I am okay.'
With him semi-stable on his feet, Daisy knelt down and took a closer look at his snake bite. There was still a little bit of blood trickling down, but otherwise the wound had clotted. Still, didn't look any less painful.
'I really hope that doesn't get infected...' She muttered. 'And I thought my injury was bad.'
'Really? Compared to what happened to you, this is nothing.'
'At least Polterkitty's claws aren't laden with venom! Do you wanna sit the next puzzle out? I wouldn't blame you.'
'I can't. We have to solve these puzzles together if we have any hope of getting out of here with our lives.'
Daisy was in no position to argue, even though she really wanted to.
'Alright.' She said. 'But the moment you feel dizzy, or nauseous, or faint, or anything like that, let me know immediately. I wanna be safe, just in case that venom turns out to be the kind that comes back later.'
'I promise. Which door are we going through next?'
Daisy flinched, just slightly. She couldn't fathom why Luigi decided that this was her choice.
'Um... that one, I guess.' She pointed to the door on the other side of the room. 'If both doors have a high chance of killing us, then it doesn't really matter which one we pick, does it?'
'I... guess not.'
'Right. Let's get it out of the way as soon as possible.'
As they passed the pit on the way to the next room, Luigi noticed something a little different. What was just a hole now had a purple-headed stone snake, wrapping its body around like a spiral.
'Luigi...' Polterkitty said.
The man didn't even flinch. 'Hmm?'
'You know how I said that your snake bite wasn't lethal? I really meant that one bite. If I didn't get the snake off when I did, you would probably be dead right now.'
Luigi went pale. 'Uh... thanks for telling me that. I-I guess.' He made the mental note to teach her about sometimes needing to withdraw information later.
The second puzzle room had the same sandy stones lining the walls, but otherwise looked totally different to the last. Vases and little golden statues of the Sphynx decorated the sides of the room, practically framing the thing of real interest.
A white square platform lay in the very centre of the room, making up most of the floor. Golden monuments of cobras marked its corners. In front of that was a series of panels, placed in a rainbow shape, on the wall. Each panel had a symbol resembling an animal, from lightest to heaviest - mouse, human, deer, lion, crocodile, camel, rhino, and elephant.
Polterpup approached a blinking light underneath the panels. It glowed a bright green, indicating it was susceptible to the Strobulb. Right above the light was a circular panel, depicting another crocodile. A pointer lay on the floor to the left.
'Hey Luigi,' Daisy said. 'Maybe you should try flashing that light.'
'Uh... let's make sure it isn't a trap that will kill us first.'
'Yeah, that'd be a good idea.'
Not wanting to step forward in case they activated any traps, our heroes waited for Polterkitty to give her explanation.
'According to Polterkitty,' Luigi said. 'This is a scale. We need to place things on that weight in the middle, so it weighs enough to match the symbol it wants.'
Daisy put her hand on her chin. 'Mm, good. Now in English.'
Luigi approached the square scale, and peered at the panels. It seemed clear enough to him.
'I think I've got this.' He said.
'Good. Just, please, be careful.'
The one problem he had was that he had no way of really knowing what he needed to put on the scale. His eyes fell upon one of the few Sphynx statues laying around. With no other ideas, he used his Poltergust to pick it up, and immediately felt his arms getting sore. He forgot just how heavy gold was.
'Be careful!'
'I am being careful.'
'Okay, good. Just checking.'
He dropped the statue onto the plate, and made sure he himself was not standing on it. Seeing no other way to activate the scale, he used his Strobulb on the blinking light. The whole time, Polterkitty couldn't stop shaking. The platform lowered, and the pointer creakily moved from pointing at nothing to landing on the human. That panel spun around, revealing a red X on the other side.
'So the statues weight two... somethings. So maybe if I-'
'MROOOW!'
Polterkitty leapt from her spot and headbutted Luigi in the chest. He stumbled back, alarmed as to why she would do such a thing. Right before Daisy screamed at her, a pot fell from the ceiling and smashed on the floor. Right where Luigi was just standing. He gulped, and rubbed his head though he sustained no injuries.
'Oh come on!' Daisy yelled. 'You can't even take the time to guess-and-check?!'
Luigi stroked the underside of Polterkitty's neck. 'Thanks for that, Gattina.'
'That's what happens for every wrong guess.' Polterkitty explained. 'I'm not even sure where the pots come from, but I think they can do a lot of damage to mortals.'
'If I didn't know any better,' Polterpup remarked. 'I'd almost think this was devised to kill mortals or something.'
Polterkitty laughed nervously, more-or-less confirming his statement. He gave her a simple 'you gotta be kidding me' look.
'Okay, so let's not get this wrong.' Luigi said. 'So one statue got it to the human. Thus, two statues would move the pointer thing to the lion.' He scratched his head. 'But another would force it to skip the crocodile and go straight for the cow-'
'That's not a cow, Sweetie. That's a camel.'
'Camel, right. Which isn't quite what we want.'
Regardless, he picked up another gold statue and practically dragged it along the floor and onto the platform. Now he didn't know where to go from there.
'Hang on!' Daisy cried. 'I have an idea!'
As usual, she placed doubts on her idea, but it wasn't like they had any others real options. She leapt onto the platform and struck the landing, feeling it move slightly under her feet.
'I shouldn't weigh quite as much as those gold things.' She said. 'So maybe this'll work. Maybe?'
Luigi strummed his fingers against the flashlight. 'Um, you sure? I-I mean, I'm sure you're right, but what if something goes wrong and you get hurt?'
Daisy laughed. 'I'll be fine. I can take a pot to the head.'
'Alright, if you insist.'
He gave the light another flash, and this time the combined weight of Daisy and the statues moved the pointer to the desired location - the crocodile. That panel spun around, this time revealing a green circle.
'L-Luigi,' Polterkitty said. 'Maybe you should-'
'Alright, we did it!' Daisy yelled. 'Now where's the statue thingy we gotta fix?'
Everyone in the party jumped when another stone slab dropped down in front of the door and blocked the way out. The circular panel shifted to depict the deer instead.
'That's not good...' Luigi muttered.
'That's fine.' Daisy said. 'All we gotta do is-'
She got interrupted by the sound of heavy gears shifting for the first time in years. Dust fell from the ceiling. Luigi looked up to the roof, and his pupils shrunk to the size of peas.
'Luigi,' Daisy said, beginning to shake at the knees. 'Do I even want to know?'
'Uh... l-let's just say that we'll need to solve the puzzles really quickly.'
Daisy dared to look up, and nearly screamed. The ceiling was covered in small but pointy spikes, and it slowly but surely began to close in on them.
'Oh, let me guess.' Daisy said. 'If we fail to complete this room in time, that ceiling crushes us into paste. Wonderful!'
'Um, w-we just need to solve the puzzles, and we'll be-'
He got a horrible shiver going down his spine. Something was about to make their life so much harder; he could sense it somehow.
'Harry see mortals try to foil trap. Harry show that MORTALS DO NOT WIN!'
Luigi spun around with a yelp, and witnessed a Hammer pull himself out the floor, like a crocodile emerging from the swamp, and bash his chest with his open palms.
'HARRY STOP MORTALS!'
'P-Please Harry,' Luigi stammered, holding up his free hand. 'I-I don't have time for-'
'HARRY SMASH!'
The Hammer, known as Harry, whacked Luigi in the chest with the back of his massive hand. The plumber fell backward and yelped in pain as he slammed into the floor. Polterpup, without a second's delay, hopped between his owner and the big red ghost, growling and snarling.
Luigi's eyes darted to the scale and the statues laying on it, and then to the panels. The deer was only two steps down from the crocodile, making the solution clear. Not that he could think with the Hammer after him.
'Daisy! I need you to-'
'Already on it!'
Daisy leapt from the platform and landed in front of Harry. She gave him a mischievous little smirk, and even spun around to shake her rear at him. Such a sight made Luigi blush.
'Your mother was a brick!' She joked. 'And your father smelled of dried mushrooms!'
Harry gritted his teeth. 'MORTAL NO INSULT HARRY'S FAMILY!'
Daisy ran away from Luigi as the Hammer charged after her with his hand in front of his face. He plopped his entire head onto the floor, just barely missing her. Polterpup ran after the red ghost, growling and barking like mad.
'I don't understand.' Polterkitty said. 'There shouldn't be any ghosts here.'
'I-I don't really think that matters right now, Gattina.' Luigi said, getting to his feet. 'Let's-a worry about the spikes first.'
While Daisy and Polterpup distracted the Hammer, Luigi ran over to the scale and picked up one of the statues with his Poltergust. He grunted and groaned as he tried to carry the golden weight away.
'Why is gold so heavy...?'
Suddenly, he found the weight a lot less heavy. Polterkitty had lifted it up into her mouth, making carrying it so much easier.
'Oh, thanks Gattina!'
With her help, he managed to carry the statue and place it on the floor out of the scale's way. For a second he worried about not having Daisy, before he quickly realised that his own body could suffice.
'How many of these do we have to solve?' He asked.
'If they haven't gone and changed it for some stupid reason, it should be three.' Polterkitty answered.
Luigi wiped his brow and sighed.
Daisy grabbed the two tails of the Hammer and slammed him into the ground. Sand scattered with each bash. She succeeded in slamming him twice, and then three times, and would've nailed the fourth attempt had someone not thrown a rotten tomato at the back of her head. It made her let go.
She wiped the mush off her head. 'Alright, who's the twit who hit me?'
She turned around, and saw a Mini-Oozer sticking her head out of a vase. The little ghost giggled like a young girl.
'Hehe! Flower lady angry!'
Daisy gritted her teeth. 'You bet I'm angry, you annoying pile of ectoplasm!'
She regretted saying such words when the very-young ghost began to cry. She regretted it even more when Harry pounded his chest again while shouting nonsense in anger.
'PRINCESS INSULT HARRY'S DAUGHTER! HARRY TEACH PRINCESS LESSON!'
'Oh, that little Oozer is your daughter! Uh... whoops?'
Luigi gave the Strobulb light another flash with him standing on the scale with the singular statue, and the pointer moved to the deer. After this was counted as correct, the circular picture changed again. This time, it was the elephant, all the way at the end of the scale.
He looked up at the ceiling, and nearly screamed. It seemed a lot closer than it was before, and showed no sign of slowing down.
'So, um, three statues would get us to the rhino.' Luigi said. 'And with my extra weight, that should work! Polterkitty, help me move the statues onto the scale.'
Polterkitty nodded, and ran across the room to pick up the third one. The metal bent slightly in her teeth. Luigi lifted up the same one he had moved before, and though they were different distances away both returned at the same time to drop the weights off. Getting himself into position, he flashed the light.
'This should be enough...' He muttered.
The needle moved all the way to the rhino at full speed, and kept inching forward. With each millimetre of progress, it slowed down considerably. It came to a stop, just barely touching the edge of the elephant.
The rhino panel flipped over, revealing a bright red X.
'What?!' Luigi cried. 'That should've worked!'
The ceiling dropped down by several feet in just a second, before resuming its regular pace. At the height it was at, even Wario's jump could reach it.
'Why didn't that work?' Luigi asked.
'Someone must've rigged the thing!' Polterkitty said. 'We'll need to add something extra.'
'Like what? There's no statues left, Daisy's distracted, and I-'
He gasped as an idea came to him. He deployed Gooigi in an instant.
Daisy finally got a grip on the Hammer's tails again and bashed him into submission the very moment she could, not allowing the guilt she felt for his daughter stop her.
'Flower lady hurt Daddy! Flower lady mean!'
On the seventh slam, Daisy managed to break away the ghost into red particles that travelled elsewhere to reform hours later. She fell to her knees and sighed. Polterpup nudged her arm, and she reciprocated the gesture.
'I can't take much more of this... Luigi, how are you going?'
She hadn't quite expected to see both Luigi and Gooigi on the scale, or the gooey man flashing his own green Strobulb to activate the light. The pointer shot straight to the elephant, and just barely didn't pass it. The panel flipped over, and showed the green circle that lay behind it.
'Is that it?' Daisy asked.
The ceiling stopped moving, and even raised itself back up again. One by one, all the panels spun around to make a 'rainbow' of green circles.
'Is that it?' Daisy repeated.
The circular elephant panel cycled over to a blank one, and the Serpci statue rose from the ground right in front of it. The sight of it boosted Luigi's mood so much that he ended up back in his regular body. Stumbling, he ran over and fixed up the statue without even saying a word. The eyes glowed red, indicating another successful puzzle solve. He nearly collapsed from the relief.
'Flower lady hurt Daddy!'
'Oh, would ya shut up?!'
Luigi turned around just in time to bear witness to Daisy yanking the Mini-Oozer out of the vase, and slamming her into the floor. The young ghost's particles broke apart like a dropped piece of glass.
'Uh...'
'Look, right now is not the time for any children to be making our lives harder than they already are! And anyway, that was the best thing I could've done. Now she gets to rejoin her father.'
Luigi had an uneasy feeling in the pit of stomach. He had already worried about these ghosts being the souls of the deceased, and now the revelation that there were actual families made that feeling much worse. Especially since Harry and his daughter were not the same type of ghost.
'Okay, so just one more room to go, right?' Daisy asked. 'For the love of all that is sweet and holy in this world, tell me there's just one more to go!'
Polterkitty nodded, but not with any sort of enthusiasm. When she first put her little plan into action, she had assumed that luring the mortals to their doom in the pyramid would be fun. Now, the thought made her feel ill.
'Actually, ya know what?' Daisy continued. 'How about you just carry us up to the exit door right now?'
Polterkitty shook her head. 'Miaooow.'
'No can do, Daisy. She says that if a ghost floats up to that door early, it gets counted as a foul. This will cause, as Polterkitty just worded it, hell itself to rain down upon you.'
'Oh, lovely. Well, no time like the present.'
They left that room and wanted to head to the hopefully-final puzzle, but the moment the last member of the team - Polterkitty - got her tails through, paranormal gates appeared and blocked all the doors. Including the one they couldn't even reach yet, just to mock them.
'Oh goodie!' Daisy yelled. 'It's always a great time when those forsaken gates appear!'
Luigi and Polterpup looked around the room, but not even the ghostly dog could see any ghosts in that massive chamber. He could, however, easily identify the ectoplasmic scents.
'L-Let's not panic yet.' Luigi said.
'Panic? Please. I don't-'
Someone banged against the door of a nearby coffin from the inside, like a poor man had been trapped in there for centuries.
'EEP!'
'WAH!'
A fist burst through the wood and stone, a fist wrapped up in musty white cloth. The being inside the coffin smashed the lid to pieces, revealing itself to be a mummy taller than even Daisy. Only its glowing white eyes could be seen through the cloth, and they stared directly at our heroes.
The mummy moaned as it sauntered after our heroes with its arms out like a zombie. Luigi and Daisy backed away from the desiccated creature.
'Uh, Kitty,' Daisy said. 'Where on that puzzle list is a mummy attack?'
Polterkitty stared at her, then shrugged. Both Luigi and Daisy wanted to be happy that there was only one, but both knew it was too good to be true. Unsurprisingly, more were on the way. One from another nearby sarcophagus and two more from the other side of the room burst out of their prisons, and all four made haste towards the contestants.
Daisy could hear her heart, it was beating so fast. The mummies may have been making slow progress, but without nowhere to run it didn't matter how much faster she ran. Every time the Last Resort gave her another way to die, her chance of surviving seemed to get lower.
'Luigi, do you have any idea how to deal with mummies?!'
In contrast to her imminent nervous breakdown, Luigi was much calmer. Relatively speaking of course - the advancing undead monsters would never be good for his heart. He would've panicked much more had it not been for his experience with mummies in the Old Clockworks, back in Evershade Valley.
Polterpup snorted. 'Shocker. I can't smell a single dehydrated organ, but I definitely smell a Goob or four.'
'Right. That's what I thought.' Luigi said. 'Things are easier when they repeat. Alright Daisy, all we have to do is- uh, Daisy?'
She was not by his side, like he expected, but instead already halfway to dashing to the next door even though it was still blocked. She jumped to the side as one of the mummies swiped at her, emitting a fairly-high-pitched sound in the process.
Luigi blinked a couple times to make sure he was seeing this correctly. 'Uh, Daisy? What on Earth are you doing?'
She laughed nervously. 'I just, uh, think it's a good idea to at least try opening the doors.'
Even though he thought she sounded like she had no idea what she was even saying, Luigi considered that a decent idea. Albeit, only because they had Polterkitty with them.
'Ooo-kay then. Gattina, maybe you could-'
'Oh no...' Daisy muttered, coming to a dead stop.
'Oh no?' Luigi repeated, before groaning. 'What have you done?'
'I... think I stepped on another trap.'
The palm of the giant Serpci statue moved up, only a few feet, before it slammed back down into position. Grains of sand and dust trickled down to the floor, and for a moment the chamber fell into silence - aside from the mummy groaning. The snake figure on the left of the final door unhinged its mouth, just enough to allow the boulder trapped behind its teeth to roll out.
And head right for Daisy. The Boo face carved into it practically laughed at her as it zoomed towards her, threatening to turn her into a pancake.
'OH SWEET LUVBI!'
Daisy, like any person should, did not run directly in front of the boulder but instead jumped to the side. The pain of her hands and knees hitting the stony floor could not compare to whatever that boulder would've put her through. Polterkitty grabbed Luigi by his overalls and dragged him away from the rolling rock's path. The route it travelled on seemed to have been travelled on many times judging by the cracks in the floor, and Luigi could've sworn he saw dried blood on it.
Before Daisy could even get to her feet again, the boulder smacked into one of the mummies as it followed its path and circled around the pit. The undead being spun around in place, like it was stuck on a high-speed vinyl. As it did a twirl on the spot, the cloth wrapped around it began to unravel. The bandages fell to the floor, and in the place of the mummy floated a very sheepish-looking Goob. He continued to hold his arms out, despite being totally aware that his disguise had fallen down.
'Uh... boo?' He said.
While the boulder finished its lap and returned to the snake statue, Luigi flashed and made quick work of that Goob, so quick that you'd barely notice it was there at all.
Daisy's mouth was agape. 'You telling me these mummies are just a bunch of Goobs?!'
She leapt to her feet and grabbed the wrist of the closest mummy, without any hesitation. Giving the ghost inside no time to react, she yanked on a loose bit of cloth and sent the creature spinning out of control. Like the one before, the rags fell away and revealed nothing more than a regular old Goob. And she looked more than a little peeved at her friends that the plan did not work.
'Ya morons told me this plan would work!' She yelled. 'No wonder Ms Gravely calls the lot of us useless.'
Daisy, in a small fit of rage, grabbed the Goob's tail and bashed her into oblivion.
'Who's next!'
The other two 'mummies' stopped in their tracks, and looked at each other for a brief moment. Emphasis on 'brief', as it took no time at all for Polterpup to unravel another one while Polterkitty just ripped the cloth of the last one to shreds. These remaining Goobs, now exposed, had more foresight than the last two and phased through the floor. Their strength sustaining the paranormal gates vanished, and with that so did the gates themselves.
Daisy wiped her brow. 'Getting eaten by mummified ghosts was not particularly high on my vacation bucket list. Then again, literally nothing that's happened here is on that list. The only thing good about this entire trip was my period conveniently ending the day before this whole fiasco started!'
Luigi winced a little, considering that to be just a little too much information. Regardless, they headed for the third and final puzzle.
Lou was a Mini-Hammer, physically eight years old when he succumbed to Hellen Gravely's hotel trap. With Ms Gravely constantly giving orders to his parents, Lou had lost track of Charles and Samantha the same day this whole mess started. Like his parents, he couldn't even remember his mortal life anymore, aside from memories of memories. Despite being only eight, he was well aware that Hellen only saw him as blackmail bait for his parents. So, he was always on the run.
As much as he loved the workers, he couldn't let any of the Grand Ghosts see him, lest they be mind-controlled and thus hand him over to the boss. Such was the afterlife of the son of Charles and Sam. Constantly fleeing and staying out of sight, or being used as bait.
Currently, he sought refuge on the eleventh floor. He resided in the most normal-looking room on that floor - one of the bathrooms, this one only weird by the faded painting of a dice-shaped gem hanging on the wall. That floor was a horrifying mess to most, but a magical heaven for all the young ghosts.
'Hi Louie!'
Lou yelped, a feeling of dread taking over. He screwed up - big time. He turned around to the sight of a twelve-year-old ghost girl, dressed up like a magician, greeting him with a big smile.
'What are you doing here, you little cutie?'
Judging by the long pigtails, it was Lindsey. She herself wasn't a problem, but the fact was that where Lindsey was, her older sisters were certain to follow.
'Where the bloody hell are you?' The middle child's annoyed voice asked from the other side of the door. 'Oh bollocks, have I lost you again?'
Lou gulped. That was Ginny. Now he was really boned. Though Lindsey could sometimes resist the mind games, Ginny certainly could not.
The final room, initially at least, seemed like a closet compared to the others. It was just as tall as the last two, but much smaller when it came to its floor area. And much more plain too. Just a few knocked-over vases and piles of sand. One thing, however, stood out in the otherwise boring room - a green, circled-shaped hole carved into the front wall. No way it was like that naturally.
'That circle hole thing does something.' Daisy said, resting her chin in her hand. 'But what?'
Polterkitty nosed through the sand, pushing away the yellowy grains until she unearthed a strange object beneath. It was a sphere, made mostly of a clear plastic. Its 'poles' and 'equator', and the inside plastic connecting them, were green instead. Luigi noted the similarities in shape and colour between the ball and the hole. They had to be connected somehow.
'And that circle ball thing does something too.' The princess continued.
'Do you think they're connected?' Luigi asked.
Polterkitty nodded, which was all the confirmation that Daisy needed. She grabbed the plastic ball and held it up to the spherical carving. It seemed like the perfect fit.
'OH, Luigi!' Daisy said. 'Your brilliant mind shines through for us once again! And I bet that if I slot the ball thing in here...'
She did just that, hopping a bit to reach the hole. The ball slid into place as smoothly as a slippery slide covered in butter, and signified itself being locked by its green plastic glowing. Daisy had hoped that was the end of it, but that little hope was to be crushed when it turned out that it obviously had more to go. The front wall shook about slightly, and then lowered into the floor like a reverse castle gate. Luigi sneezed from the scattering grains of sand in the air.
Behind the open wall was a much bigger room, about the size of the last two. Even from where they were standing, the team could see the wall in front of them had a carving depicting a boat in a rare Sand Kingdom river approaching a pyramid. This carving too had holes, two like the green circles before but also including two red squares and two yellow triangles. The floor was covered in sand, but a chest and a knocked-over sarcophagus could still be seen. In other words, this room was a treasure hunt.
'Looks too easy.' Daisy said, crossing her arms. 'Aight Kitty, what's the catch this time? More mummies? More spikes? Does a giant Sandbelching Meerslug pop out and eat us?'
That last option got her weird looks from the other members of her group.
'What? Have none of you played Pikmin before? Did you think that Captain Olimar, unlike literally the whole rest of us, didn't have any video games based on his exploits? I've nearly managed to beat Pikmin 3 in the minimal amount of days for Rosalina's sake!'
Though Luigi and Polterpup knew what she was talking about, Polterkitty didn't have a clue.
'Uh, I don't know who Captain Olimar is,' She said. 'But I do know that you need to hold your breath. The moment you step into that room, it'll fill up with poisonous gas.'
'Poisonous gas?!' Luigi yelled.
Daisy's eyes widened. 'Excuse me, she said what?'
Polterkitty nodded. 'It's meant to make ghosts woozy and hazy, making the puzzle harder to solve. It also carries the side-effect of killing mortals if they inhale too much.'
Polterpup looked very not-surprised. 'Oh golly gee. The trap also kills living people? Who woulda thunk it?'
Luigi stared into the next room with wide eyes, still listening to the panther though visually searching for the plastic objects. He couldn't see a single one.
'Breathing it in won't kill you instantly,' Polterkitty continued. 'So if you just inhale a little bit, you should be fine if the puzzle is solved quick enough. Still, hold your breath.'
Daisy breathed in through her nose, and out through her mouth. 'Alright. We'll fan out and look for those shape things. Luigi and I can hold our breaths for a while, so we'll be good to go for a few minutes. Are we all ready?'
Everyone else nodded, in almost perfect sync.
'Good. Let's go.'
The quartet stepped into the bigger room together, and right on cue a stone slab appeared and blocked the exit door.
'Oh goody...' Daisy muttered.
With the room now sealed tight, a thick purple fog began to leak out of all six holes. Luigi and Daisy took in a deep breath as the gas filled the room within seconds. It made their eyes sting just a little. Polterpup and Polterkitty wobbled about, the strange fog quickly making them feel hazy.
'What did they put in this stuff?' Polterpup asked, slurring slightly. 'Some kind of ghost alcohol or something?'
'Beats me.' Polterkitty said. 'But let's not worry about that now. Let's focus on solving this puzzle before the mortals run out of air.'
Hardly able to keep walking straight, the Polterpets made their way to the opposite corners of the room. The cat cursed that the placement of the key objects was randomised every time. Luigi and Daisy looked at each other, gave the other mortal a nod, and split up to look around.
Polterkitty stuck her massive face into the sand, digging through the grains until she came across a solid object. Almost all of it was just sand: little irritating particles that did nothing but make her sneeze. Almost. It didn't take long for her to find the first one - a red square, tucked all the way into the far left corner. She picked it up with her mouth, and didn't even need to jump to slot it into place. Its red corners glowed, and gas ceased to pour out through that hole.
She looked over to the mortals. Daisy swept the sand away with her foot, while Luigi instead vacuumed up large chucks of it at a time. With how much quicker he could work, it wasn't too surprising that Luigi found the second object. This one was a yellow triangular pyramid, buried underneath some remains of a shattered vase. All while holding his breath, he sucked the plastic pyramid into his Poltergust and fired it at the closest of the two triangle holes. Just like before, it locked into place and glowed.
'Once we... plug all the holes...' Polterkitty explained, getting dizzy. 'Then this gas... will disappear...'
Luigi gave her a thumbs up, more than a little concerned about how much she teetered around like she was either drunk or tired. Not that Polterpup was faring much better.
'Ooh...' He groaned. 'I feel like I've got a killer hangover...'
'Yeah.' Polterkitty said, struggling to stay on her paws. 'It does that to you. Would you believe it if I told you that some ghosts come here just to get wasted?'
'I'm surprised I'm surprised.'
With the thick fog in the air rendering Polterpup's sense of smell useless, he felt lost. Still, he dug through the sand to the best of his ability, which wasn't very high thanks to the gas weakening his paws. His tail perked. Through his hazy vision he could see the green sphere he had just uncovered. Hoisting it into his mouth, he chucked it at where he thought its appropriate hole was. Due to his foggy vision, the sphere just barely missed the hole and clanked off the wall. Daisy picked it up from the floor, and put it into its proper place for him.
'Thanks, Master's Girlfriend!' He said, even though he knew she couldn't understand him.
Daisy gave him a wink, as if to say 'you're welcome!'.
Polterkitty smiled. 'We're already... halfway there! Just three more... to go...'
Luigi wanted to sigh in relief, but didn't for the obvious reasons. Considering that his powerful lungs didn't even feel close to collapsing filled him with the belief that they would indeed succeed. His eyes fell upon the sarcophagus. It was shut, but looked easy to open. Figuring that one of the shapes had to be hidden in there, he pried the lid open. He smiled. There was the second red cube right there! He reached in to grab it, but something stopped him.
A horrible stinging sensation pierced his sinuses.
His eyes widened. Only now did he realise that by opening the coffin, he had sent more dust flying into the air. And that same dust was now clouding around his face. He backed away and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight against his own body.
Not now... any time but now!
Daisy opened the chest with little struggling, and nearly cheered at the sight of another yellow pyramid. She took it out and turned around to show Luigi, but when she saw him it fell out of her hands and to the floor.
Everyone stopped. Dead.
Luigi's whole body began to jerk. His eyes watered, and he could hardly keep them open. The stinging only got worse with each passing second. Daisy could feel her heart skip a beat. The worse part? She knew there was nothing she could do.
'AAHHH-CHOOOO!'
Luigi's sneeze must've echoed in the quiet room a thousand times, absolutely shattering the awful silence. No one could dare to move a muscle. The silence returned, but just for a moment.
Suddenly, Luigi began to cough. Hard. He hacked. He croaked. He gasped. He wheezed. The horrible gas flooded his lungs and constricted his throat.
Daisy almost screamed.
'MROOOWWW!' Polterkitty screeched.
The yowl snapped her back into reality. She slapped herself across the cheek, and tossed the yellow pyramid into its slot like she was trying to win a gold medal. It fell into place, almost as if she demanded it to.
Luigi's coughing only got worse, and he collapsed to his hands and knees.
'Hurry Polterpup!' Polterkitty cried. 'We have to find the other jewels now, or your Master could die!'
Polterpup was already searching for the next one. 'You think I'd do anything else right now?!'
Daisy, with all her might, ignored her plumber choking on the floor and rushed over to the coffin. Her heart calmed down only slightly when she saw the cube inside. With the red jewel in hand, she scanned around for its place. For a moment, she couldn't see it. A bloodcurdling scream threatened to escape from her throat. The very second she got the red hole in her sights, she ran over and slammed the cube in. Had it not been for her gloves, it would've slipped out of her sweaty palms.
She took a quick moment to count how many jewels they had left; a difficult task with Luigi's harsh coughing surging her eardrums. They had only one left to find - the second green sphere.
'ROWWW-EOWWW!' Polterkitty yowled.
The haziness fogging up her mind became too much for the Panthergeist to handle, and she collapsed to the floor. Polterpup did not last much longer. Daisy nearly cried out in joy when she saw what rested at Polterkitty's paws.
The green jewel!
Polterkitty nudged it forward with her nose, unable to do much more. She belted out another pained yowl. Daisy could thank her later. She flashed one more glance to Luigi. He looked no better than before.
'I'm... alright!' He gasped, in between coughs. 'I... promise!'
As the last member standing, Daisy took her responsibility. Even though the last hole was the highest of them all, no jump would be too big for her at that moment. She leapt into the air, and slammed that jewel in.
She hadn't planned her landing, though the sand cushioned her fall. All she cared about was solving the puzzle. If that didn't work, she'd punch a hole straight through the wall.
The jewel glowed. With all the holes plugged up, the poisonous gas ceased to seep through. The snake statues in the side walls opened their mouths, and the fog slowly but surely began to leak out. The wall in front split down the middle, and the two halves moved away to reveal the third and final Serpci statue.
Daisy released her breath. 'OH THANK GRAMBI!'
'Daisy?'
She gasped, and spun around. Luigi breathed heavily, like his lungs were grasping onto any fresh air that they could, and though his arms shook and struggled to hold his weight he could hold his head up and look into her eyes.
The princess nearly fainted. 'Holy sh... Luigi? Sweetie? You okay?'
He responded by coughing, which to most would be a definitive 'no', except it was nowhere near as violent as his coughing before. No more just barely clinging to life. Just a simple recovery.
'We sure? Absolutely fine?'
Luigi nodded. 'Yeah. J-Just give me a bit...'
Daisy sighed. 'Geez.' She murmured. 'Talk about an ill-timed sneeze...'
'Eh, I've had worse timing before.' He cringed as he remembered that Mammoshka incident.
Before even thinking about fixing up the statue's arm, she watched Luigi just a little bit longer. His coughs appeared to be slowing down, and seemed to be caused more by the sand than the gas.
'Is everyone okay?' Daisy called.
Polterpup jumped to his paws and yipped excitedly. The sight of his master was all needed to feel better. Polterkitty, meanwhile, continued to lie down. She wouldn't get up until she was certain she could.
'Okay. Good.' Daisy said. 'We're all alright.'
'Uh, physically, at least.' Luigi added. 'I'm not sure about emotionally.'
'Can't argue with that.'
Daisy stood up, and lowered the statue's arm into place. The eyes glowed blue, signifying another puzzle successfully solved.
She fist-pumped the air. 'Oh yeah! Suck it, Serpci!'
'Really, Daisy?' Luigi remarked. 'Really?'
'Just let me have this one moment. I know we're definitely not done yet, but I just wanna tell Serpci that she can go get f-'
'Daisy!'
'GET OUT OF MY HEAD, BOSS!'
Out of all the ghosts, Serpci was one of the best at resisting the mind powers. Unfortunately, whether you were Amadeus or Kruller, you were never safe.
The others were lucky. Once they were unable control, they couldn't think of anything else. But Serpci could. It was like her mind was trapped in a cage, unable to affect the outer world that was her own body.
'You need to stop this!'
The pharaoh ghost leaned up against her Luigi wall, bashing her fist into the stone foundation.
But why, Serpci? I thought you loved Luigi!
'Of course I do! I adore him. But not like this. Let me let him go!'
Look at you. Acting like your typical scaredy-cat self. Pathetic. Luigi will never like you if you act like this all the time.
Serpci, against her own desires, wept. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, her boss's words got to her.
'I-I know. Luigi would never like a coward like me. He's too courageous. I... I took the coward's way out. H-He's better than that.'
All too true, sweetie. And that's why I'm here. Don't you notice that confidence swells within you whenever I take over? It's almost as if I help you, Serpci!
'Y-Yes. I-I understand.'
The pharaoh hated herself for her pitiful timidity. Even if she could easily stand up to her boss, she was never brave enough to fight. Nor was she at all confident enough to disagree with a word Ms Gravely said.
'I-I see, Boss. I need you. Without you, I'd never be brave enough for Luigi to like me. Please, Hellen. Help me.'
That's right, Serpci. I'll make you brave and courageous. I'll help you through this most difficult time.
'Y-Yes, Ms Gravely.'
At least with her boss around, the queen wouldn't be so contemptible.
Just like Polterkitty promised, the hole that led to the pit was now closed off, thanks to three spiralling snake heads. When everyone got back into the central chamber, a massive amount of sand bucketed down from the hole above, piling up quickly.
'Where on Earth is that sand coming from?' Daisy questioned, watching it pool up on the floor.
The Panthergeist shrugged. Whatever it was, Serpci's ghost magic probably had something to do with it.
'Be careful.' Polterkitty warned. 'This room fills up quickly.'
'I'll say.' Luigi said, shaking the grains off his shoes. 'I'm not complaining. The sooner we get out of here, the better.'
The mortals had to walk constantly, not too fast but just to make sure they kept their feet above the piling sand. For once, it felt like they could actually rest for a moment. Polterpup rolled around in the sand, and swam through it like a dolphin through water.
'There's just one thing I don't understand.' Polterkitty said. 'Why were there ghost attacks? That isn't part of the puzzles... especially no mummy ghosts.'
'I'm not surprised.' Luigi remarked. 'Your owner seems crazy desperate to get me.'
'Is she crazy desperate to get me?' Daisy asked.
Polterkitty meowed.
'Huh.' Luigi said. 'Apparently, Ms Gravely hasn't mentioned you at all, and neither has King Boo. Aside from Ms Gravely possibly saying she wants you disposed off.'
'So in other words, she either doesn't know I exist or wants me very, very dead. Yippee...'
Polterkitty knew they had plenty of time to relax before the final deadly trap, and so she spent the time thinking. About what? Just about everything.
The thoughts of Master loomed over her, constantly. She could feel Master's glare looking down on her every second, watching her every move. No matter what she did, she felt as though Master did not approve. Master never approved of anything anymore, it seemed. The very thought of that Gheistpaint alone made Polterkitty sneeze, and she could still feel the scratches on her back. Those joyous times of decades ago seemed like they were centuries behind her.
Yet, those days seemed to be returning. The days of love and affection had come back. But not from Master though - she only got worse. Green Man reminded her of that era, much more than she ever could have anticipated. In fact, his unconditional love outweighed that of which Master used to give her. But that couldn't be right. Master was the only one who could ever love her. Master made that very clear.
'Hey Gattina!' Luigi called. 'It's time to get out of here!'
The voice of Green Man brought her back into the real world. In her thoughts, she had completely missed that the sand had already filled the room and had stopped falling. The other members of her team were waiting for her by the door.
'So, is Gattina her name now?' Daisy asked. 'I kinda like it.'
'Oh, it's just the Italian word for cat.'
'Oh...'
Polterkitty found herself not wanting Green Man to die. Of course, this was only because Master wanted him alive. Obviously. Yet, though no one cared about Mean Lady, the kitty did not want to her die either. What was happening to her? No time to worry about that now. She had to rejoin her team at once.
At the start of this mess, getting Green Man up to Master's suite and handing him over to her had been Polterkitty's only goal. Possibly killing Mean Lady in the process. That way, Master could forget about King Boo and love her again.
Why did that goal seem horrible now? She had to impress Master. She just had to. No one else would ever love a three-tailed monster like her.
'Come on, Polterkitty!' Mean Lady yelled. 'We'll leave you here if you don't get going!'
'Daisy! Don't say that.'
'Hey, I was only joking.'
'I know, but she might not know that.'
But... maybe Master was wrong?
Charles and Sam found Grace the Goob, as per the boss's orders, shivering as she hid in a locker in the Fitness Centre. She hadn't even taken her maid uniform off. It was only thanks to a mind-controlled Johnny Deepend that they were able to find her at all.
'Yeah, dudes.' He had said. 'I saw that babe hiding in one of those gnarly lockers. I bet she's gonna receive a killer punishment. Major bummer, dude...'
The poor girl screamed and kicked as Charles and Sam carried her away. They felt no better over doing this than she did, but the thought of their son in danger scared them so much more.
'P-Put me down!' Grace screamed as they lifted her into the fifteenth floor. 'Y-You know what Ms Gravely will d-do to me!'
The couple could say nothing to justify the situation, and thus chose to remain silent. Hellen held her hands together like an excited little girl when Grace was dragged into her office.
'LET ME GO!' Grace shouted, as if it would do anything.
She pulled against the grip that the Goob couple had on her arms, but she could not break free.
'Well well well,' Hellen said. 'Look at what we have here.'
The very sight of her boss made Grace go completely stiff. She felt as if she was staring directly into an oncoming train.
'M-Ms Gravely...' She stammered. 'W-What am I d-doing here?'
'Grace, I believe you are? It's hard telling you Goobs apart.' She chuckled. 'Now, and correct me if I am wrong, are you the ghost who had that princess in her grasp, before she fled the scene like the coward she is?'
Grace gulped. She didn't fall for these tricks. Hellen knew she was right. Toying with her victims before punishment was a game to her.
'I'll take that little gulp as a yes. Now, Gracie, I'm sure we're aware of our little policy. Are we not?'
The frightened Goob nodded. 'Y-Yes. I-I am. You fight until the end. Fleeing is disgraceful. Being a coward... m-must be punished.'
'Wonderful! So we are indeed aware. Mind telling me, then, why you and many others have blatantly disobeyed me?'
Grace said nothing. What could she say? She closed her eyes and lowered her head, awaiting retribution. Hellen opened one of the drawers of her desk, and from it pulled out a metallic collar big enough for the Goobs.
Charles and Sam shuddered.
'Bring her closer, if you please.' Hellen ordered.
The two Goobs didn't move at all, until Ms Gravely pulled out her remote again. Fearing for their son's safety, they brought the victim closer.
'Chambrea must be disgusted by your behaviour. How could a ghost so aggressive train a coward so pathetic?'
Now Grace wish she never fled. Whatever the princess would've done to her would not have been nearly as painful as this.
'I'll give you one last chance, Gracie. Prove to me that you can at least go out with a pure heart. Tell me that you hope to see that Green Man in hell.'
Grace opened her eyes, and glared directly into those of her boss. For the first time in her afterlife, she wanted to do something brave.
She spat slobbery ectoplasm right into Hellen Gravely's face.
'Hope to see you there...'
Charles and Sam gasped. Hellen barely even flinched.
'Oh well!' She said in an overly-cheery voice. 'That's the way it is then.'
She snapped her fingers.
In that moment, the worst pain imaginable teared through Grace's body. She screamed out in agony as the electroshock collar worked its 'magic' on her.
'MAKE IT STOP!'
'Now now, Grace.' Hellen said. 'No need to be so inelegant.'
Author Notes - Threw in a quick Early-Bird Cameo of the Twisted Sisters because why not? After all, they're quite popular from what I can tell. I mean, I like them so surely that extrapolates. And I have a feeling that Ginny and her very British swearing will really push that T rating. Oh, and Johnny Deepend too, I guess.
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but like Charles and Sam are named after Mario's and Peach's voice actors, their son Lou is named after Lou Albano, the guy who played Mario in the Super Show. This is the one exception to the 'no naming ghosts after currently dead people' rule thanks to the actor name theming.
Also, I'm a massive Pikmin fan. I figured that Daisy, lover of plants, would like it too. It was either that, or the Alaskan Bull Worm.
Serpci thought she had it all. A girl as young as her, ruling an entire kingdom! She may not have been as much of a tyrant as her father, but she still controlled the nation. That's what being a queen was all about - getting everything you wanted! Or, so she thought.
She ran out into the night one day, convinced that as a queen she could do anything. Even freezing cold air couldn't stop her, no matter how much she shivered. But the Chinchos definitely could. Her servants managed to save her before she lost her life. She was brought home, and bedridden for a week thanks to her nasty cold and horrible scars.
She never left her pyramid again.
