Author's Note: Hey guys! Forgive me for not posting yesterday. I just felt so tired that I immediately went to bed after coming home. So today, as compensation, I'm posting chapters 2 and 3 at the same time! (Yay?)

I will place a TRIGGER WARNING here. Sever undertones of depression ahead and if that makes you feel uncomfortable, please skip this chapter.

Thank you so much for the follow/fave/review, it means so much to me! That said, on to the story. Also, I decided to just rate this as T but I'm still placing trigger warning if the story contains any mention of triggering stuff.

Also, special thanks to fyakka for their review! It means a lot!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and the plot is loosely based on a word I got from my dictionary. Also, I'm currently writing this on my phone so forgive me for any mistakes.


2. Jib (be unwilling to do or accept something)


"See you tomorrow…"

Jack could already guess what her next words are. He clutched the straps of his backpack closer to his body.

"…I love you!"

And there it goes. The famous Elsa Marie Windbloom line. A lump formed inside his throat and he found it hard to swallow. Everything was starting to merge together in a chaotic array of shapes and colors but he forced himself to breathe—to not faint.

"See you tomorrow, Elsa." His infamous reply.

Despite not saying it back to her, Elsa smiled and began to walk towards her car where a grinning redhead was perched on the hood of her Corolla. It wasn't until she was out of sight from the school's parking lot that he lets out a shaky breath and placed his own car in reverse, bouncing his fists on his knee as he waited for Hiccup to finally show up.

Hiccup was smiling when he pulled open the passenger's side door of Jack's car but it hurriedly fell from his face—his expression replaced with worry and understanding—as he suggested a little detour. To a place where they spent their summers on.

As Jack carefully drove up the timeworn path towards their destination, Hiccup recalled the time where they first met the Windbloom woman.

They were in the summer of their eleventh birthday when the Winblooms moved to the big and enormous house just up the street. The first time the two sisters showed up, every boy in their little suburb had fallen head over heels for the two—one, so social that she had befriended everyone else and one the less cheery of the two.

Hiccup and Jack found it in them to avoid the Windbloom sisters as trouble always followed them, the boys would fight on who gets to push them on the swings and would cause a major headache for the many parents that would end up dragging their kids away from the playground. And although the two girls found themselves in sudden popularity, it never seemed to get into their heads.

Anna was still so friendly, and tried to find time to accommodate everyone and Elsa, well, she never really minded nor acknowledged the throng of boys willing to follow her every beck and call. She never paid anyone else, aside from her sister, attention until that one summer.

Jack being reckless and adventurous was a compliment to Hiccup's cautiousness and ingenuity. They'd decided to map out the forest behind their houses and in one of their many expeditions, found the spot that would be forever monikered as their place—a single bed in the middle of the forest.

The rickety furniture had scared the boys at first but scouting for almost a week and never finding anything suspicious, they made it their base of operations.

They had decided to finally cross the creek they found earlier that week when they heard crying coming from the only spot in the forest they had memorized by heart.

Silently stalking towards the place, the two boys found none other than the older Windbloom sister. She was sat on the dirt—her baby blue dress not looking too happy—and was leaning for the caved-in mattress of the bed.

Jack, being the de-facto leader between them had stomped towards the young girl—just months older than him—and shook her.

"Hey. This is our spot. Scram."

Hiccup almost laughed at the tactlessness of his best buddy. He had assumed the worst that Elsa would be a pain and then would go away but instead she did entirely the opposite.

She sprang up and clung to Jack like her life depended on it—crying much harder now.

Jack looked so shocked and disgusted—snot and salty tears had coated his favorite hoodie by this point—and tried to pry her away from him, but Elsa, small as she is, was pretty strong. So Jack sighed and stood there while the platinum-blonde cried on his shoulder.

It was a couple hours later—the two sat on the bed, while Hiccup sat on a log opposite them—that they knew what had made the Elsa Windbloom upset. Apparently, some kid had kissed her despite her saying no and she felt so repulsed about it that it made her cry.

To Jack and Hiccup, playground kisses were nothing but as the neared their eleventh birthday, they both recoiled in horror.

Elsa had struck a friendship with the two boys and Hiccup had broken down his initial impression of her. After a week of being together, the three of them slowly filling out spaces on their maps, they had become inseparable. Suffice to say, that boy who made Elsa so upset, had found his bicycle disassembled in his front lawn—curtesy of one brown haired kid.

It was two weeks later their first meeting that Elsa had said something that started this whole fiasco.

"If I get a boyfriend, I'd want it to be either of you." Elsa, who just celebrated her eleventh birthday, suddenly said while sprawled out on the white bed—now much cleaner than its initial condition. Jack, who was leaning on the bed and Hiccup who was looking for any signs of wildlife around their little spot suddenly froze.

"No way." Hiccup suddenly said, pink adorning his cheeks. Elsa sat up and look at him. "Well, if you don't make a move on Astrid soon then you can be my boyfriend."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Elsa, just weeks ago you were crying because some boy kissed you and now," he said and stood up, both hands situated on his hips, "you want a boyfriend?"

"Well, if I have one then the other boys won't get too close with me, right?" Elsa said in a small voice. Hiccup felt pity from the pit of his stomach. He's seen how eager the others are in pursuing the little girl's affection. "And if I have to like hold someone's hand, I would rather be it either of you."

"Elsa, we're ten…"

"Turning eleven."

"Doesn't matter." Jack glared at Hiccup. "The point is we're still kids. We don't know stuff about boyfriend and girlfriend that's gross." He walked towards Hiccup and slung his arm around the brunette's lanky shoulders. "'Sides, if someone were to mess with you just holler and we'll dismantle their bicycle."

Seeing the grin on the white-haired guy's face, Hiccup raised two thumbs up to signal his approval. Elsa laughed and ran towards the two, tackling them in a hug. 'I love you."

The words were so bizarre but Elsa had said it in a none-romantic way, Hiccup reckoned. Nonetheless, it made the two boys blushing tomato red all the way home.

Ever since then, Elsa had shown her affections towards the boys with three simple words. But as they grow older Hiccup noticed that the way Elsa said it to Jack was leagues away from the way she said it to him. That was fine by the lad as he had his heart captured by another already and would be so glad to finally have his two bestfriends date.

They had become so close that they've spend holidays together—along with their families who found the match peculiar but not unwelcome—and knows everything there is to know about the others.

They were doing well and Hiccup, with his reasoning, had predicted Elsa and Jack to become an item as soon as they start high school.

But the night before their middle school graduation, Jack's family got into an accident. They were coming back from a trip to the beach when a drunk driver slammed into their car.

All of Jack's family didn't survive. Surprisingly, Jack had fallen into the space behind the front seat and had avoided the fatal accident with a hair breadth. They had to pry open the parts of the car to get him out.

He stayed at the hospital for almost a month, recovering from his injuries in a week but kept there to monitor his condition. Without absences, Hiccup and Elsa—sometimes with their families—visited his hospital room trying to keep his spirits up. But Hiccup knows that his outgoing friend was no more.

Hiccup's family adopted Jack and slowly Jack became a mimic of who he was before the accident. He laughed and made jokes, albeit not as strongly as pre-accident Jack, but it was enough for the platinum-blonde and the brunette.

Elsa, never stopped saying her I love yous as if a mantra. She had made it known that she was romantically interested in Jack the summer of their eleventh year in school but Jack had turned her down. Still, Jack and Elsa stayed close friends and Elsa did her best to make Jack feel loved.

Until present, the three already college sophomores, still Elsa never missed a day telling Jack she loves him.

Hiccup fired a quick text to Astrid letting her know he's with Jack. Not waiting for a reply, he looked at his bestfriend who was gripping the wheel so strongly, his already pale hands now looking ghostly white.

Turning a corner, they were nearing the entrance to the forest when Jack suddenly hit the brakes.

"I can't." He said as he clutched both side of his head and slumped towards the steering wheel. Hiccup, in his rational mind, reached over and turned off the ignition. They sat there in the last rays of the sun and silence, as Hiccup waited for Jack to let out his emotions.

With shaking hands, the older guy opened his glove compartment and produced a clear orange bottle full of white pills. He popped one into his mouth and breathe deeply through his nose. Hiccup watched the scene with sadness.

"Hiccup, I can't anymore." Jack said in a defeated voice that made Hiccup recoil. "Every time she says it, my body's fight or flight response kicks in and I'm so tired of running away."

"Don't you have feelings for her too?" The brunette slowly said, as if approaching a cornered animal.

A bitter laugh escaped his companion. "Look at me Hiccup. Look at me and tell me that I deserve someone like her."

Hiccup was so taken aback by the question that his mouth shut completely. Jack, taking his best friend's silence for hesitance, continued. "She's a really great girl and I don't want to be a burden. She's becoming what—a lawyer for fuck's sake! And me? I can't even afford to get my ass up for my late morning classes. If it weren't for you, I would be in my bed all day."

"Jack—"

"Hiccup, I don't want to burden her. Not to Elsa. It's a big blow to my ego to be a burden to you already." Jack said, attempting a joke.

"You're not." Hiccup reassured. A heartbeat later Hiccup continued. "Why don't you try?"

In Hiccup's defense, he'd been watching his bestfriend skirting around his feelings for Elsa for a long time now that it's starting to make him feel defeated.

"Hiccup, Elsa's an awesome girl."

"I know. So why—"

"Because if I do I'd be attached to her!"

Jack slammed his fists at the steering wheel making Hiccup jump in his seat.

"I'd need to be with her every day. I'd need to hear her voice every day. I'd need her to breath. I'd need her Hiccup." Jack looked at the man beside him and smiled sadly. "And once I start to need her, she would get burnt out by me."

"At first she'd indulge in my need of her and would give me everything I'd asked, because she's loved me for a long time now and she would love for me to be happy—because she is Elsa. But what about two years in the line? Heck, even two months! She would be burnt out Hiccup, but she won't leave. Because she loves me and would never find it in her heart to beak my heart."

Jack sighed and leaned on his seat. "I'd hold her back from anything she's capable of because…"

The words trailed from Jack's lips, not seeing the light of day. Hiccup knew, he always does.

"Although I'm trying so hard to be better, I can't. Not when I still have nightmares of my sister's face." Hiccup looked at the car floor, solemnly. A week after Jack has lived with them, he'd moved his bed to the wall their rooms share so he can hear the silent screams of the person next to him.

"How many times have you shook me awake while I was stuck in a nightmarish loop?" As if to drive his point through, Jack asked Hiccup a rhetorical question. "I don't want to need Elsa. That isn't love. I want to want her in my life, not need her in it. It would be unhealthy for the both of us."

"Especially for me. It would be selfless of me to think that I'm only doing this for Elsa's benefit but I'm talking more about my end of the stick. Because what if, Elsa leaves? What happens to me then? What happens to a tree went its roots are pulled out?"

Hiccup didn't answer. The pair sat in silence for time until a buzz could be heard originating from Hiccup's pocket.

"That's Astrid." He lamely said which earned him a small chuckle from the white-haired male. Jack thrust his arm out and Hiccup placed his keys in his open palm.

The drive back home was comfortable.


Author's Note: That's a wrap for our chapter two! This chapter was hard for me to write as it kind of pulls from a real life conversation I'd had with one of my then friends. Made me tear up.

Up next is another one of these instances where our homeboy had a chance to say what he feels.

Anyways, peace out, stay safe and sanitize! Love you!

Word Count: I still couldn't be bothered sorry