Author Notes - Not the biggest fan of 13F, and only because it kills all my speedruns. Except for the SUB 3 run, where it went relatively well except for me getting the worst RNG on the machines for the THIRD TIME IN A ROW!

But seriously, this bloody floor is almost entirely a bunch of smaller puzzles, and in case you haven't noticed I mostly remove those for the sake of flow and minimising padding. SO THIS WILL BE FUN! To make up for the inevitable removal of most of the puzzles, I'll be putting a lot of focus on that bloody weight room Hammer duo. Seriously, those Hammers are a boss fight on their own. And yes, I vaguely remember dying to them.

Psst... there's a trick to avoid that entire fight. Just hold the Dark-Light button the whole way across the room, and you will inexplicitly avoid the trigger for the fight. I have no idea why this works, but it does, and it's quite possibly my favourite skip in the game. Seriously, even the 6F skip, as amazing as it, is a pain to pull off sometimes.

This first scene between Hellen Gravely and King Boo is... intense, to say the least. Let's just say that those Frollo comparisons from way earlier will really make sense. In all seriousness, it's probably the most sexual thing I've ever written (which isn't saying much), and it's not written to be pleasurable. Blame Shana Hager - some scenes in their LM3 adaptation likely inspired this when I read it. Would I recommend it? Yes, as long as you're not sexually-repulsed like I am, which is completely a preference thing on my part.

I hope you've been catching up on your physical as of late, because Helnat and Digidemon had added their favourites/follows!

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - TIME TO GET A GYM MEMBERSHIP

'HELLEN! I am sick of your constant failures!'

Ms Gravely didn't even spin her chair around to look at him. She didn't want to acknowledge that he was there, even though she could feel his glare upon her. It gave her the tingles.

'Your hotel trap is very impressive, I must admit, but it doesn't mean crap when it fails at the most important opportunity!'

Hellen's eye twitched. The way her darling Polterkitty basked in the plumber's attention both worried and sickened her. The fact that he and that princess were only a few floors away only made her feel worse.

'Listen, Hellen. I'd hate to say this, but I need you. If that dirty coward can defeat me twice, he can absolutely defeat me a third time.' He groaned. 'Do you see how desperate I am, Hellen?! I am admitting that I need you!'

She decided it was about time to turn her chair around and look at him. That evil in his angry eyes made her shudder, but not because it frightened her. Oh no. He hadn't looked that angry this entire scheme, not even when Luigi escaped the first time.

And she loved it. She stared, blissfully, into those furious purple eyes.

'You won't hear me admit that to anyone else. Hardly even myself. I've grown no more powerful since our last battle. I needed you to break me out for Jaydes's sake! But now, even your patented hotel trap isn't working.'

She couldn't be scared of him when he was like this. That unbridled rage and insanity dripping from his every word, that desperate look in his eyes, that voluptuous purple tongue...

'Are you even listening to me?! That infernal DJ is paying more attention than you right now!'

She wasn't quite sure how she hadn't notice just how gorgeous he was. Perhaps his fear tactics were working surprisingly well. Or maybe her own increasing insanity led to this. Either way, she adored it.

'HELLEN GRAVELY! Can you just listen to a single damn thing I'm saying?!'

Oh, and his words. His livid voice. He turned her on like she was a lamp. She powdered her face up, and drifted out of her chair. King Boo stood in place, no longer angry but now very confused.

'Um, Hellen? What in the Underwhere are you doing?'

She fluttered her eyes at him and gave him a toothy grin.

'Wha... Ms Gravely?'

She flashed him a wink and blew him a kiss.

'I- can you just pay attention for one moment!'

She pressed her cheek up against his. Oh, did his skin feel just amazing, like a warm fluffy marshmallow. It made her feel warm and fuzzy.

'Get away from me!'

She inhaled his lovely aroma. Her incense and detergents simply did not compare to the real thing. She sniffed him once more.

'I- I-... uh-?'

Goodness, if he smelt and felt so sweet, he had to taste good too. To make sure, she stuck out her tongue and slowly dragged it over his ghostly flesh. He tasted better that she could have ever imagined.

'MS GRAVELY! GET AWAY FROM ME AT ONCE!'

King Boo shoved her away and floated far, far back. The slap he gave her across the face, only partially on purpose, snapped her right out of it. She looked up from a daze, to see the royal phantom breathing heavily. For the first time in seemingly forever, King Boo looked to be genuinely unnerved.

'What the hell is wrong with you?!' He yelled. 'I'm hellbent on seeking revenge on that green mortal trash, but that? That was...' He shuddered. 'What was that?'

Hellen Gravely gasped. 'I am so sorry, Darling! I have no idea what came over me. I promise it won't happen again.'

She kindly left out the 'until we capture Luigi' part of her promise.

'I don't need this right now!' King Boo shouted. 'I have more than enough to be stressed about. I don't need to worry about you... doing whatever the heck that was too! If you've got any ideas that don't involve you tasting me, I'm up to hear it.'

The female ghost's eyes darted around the room. She did not want to admit that she herself was struggling too. Her eyes fell upon the two portraits resting in the corner, and she suddenly smirked as a lightbulb went off.

'Listen Darling,' She said, not dropping the seductive tone. 'I have the perfect back-up plan should everything go wrong.'

His sneer faded. 'I'm listening.'

'We still have two portraits. That coward will want to rescue his brother, but the red man must always save his princess.'

She picked up the portrait of Mario and held it close to her body. The horrified pheromones the plumber gave off were nearly as pleasurable as the king's.

'Alright.' King Boo said. 'Keep going...'

'With pleasure! If you want to spring the ultimate trap on the brothers, I suggest you take that princess up to the roof while I keep Mario's. You see, if the coward manages to save his brother...'

King Boo grinned. 'Then the both of them will meet me on the rooftop! BOOYA!' He cackled. 'I must admit, Ms Gravely, the execution may be questionable at best but you have some impressive ideas.'

Hellen Gravely had to battle hard to fight off her natural Siren urges. Good thing there was no physical body for her to eat.

'Just remember,' King Boo continued. 'I still have my doubts in your ability to help. I am only sparing you right now because you are still accomplishing far more than I could've. Do not let your staff or my subjects know I have said this to you.'

As if Hellen cared about that at all. Support was support, and she could practically taste him again. Finally, that king-sized bed of hers was going to have some proper use, now that her pet didn't need it anymore. Her thoughts were derailed by those of her pet - Hellen wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she was slowly starting to worry that she wouldn't be able to call Polterkitty 'her pet' anymore.


'So let me get this straight.' Daisy said as Luigi pressed the button for the thirteenth floor. 'After a castle, a massive garden, a movie place, a museum, and a freaking pyramid... we get a regular old fitness centre? Geez, did they have to put all the weird stuff in the middle?'

'Why are you only questioning stuff now that it's normal again?' Luigi asked.

'Because it's normal again! How could everything go from unbelievable and crazy to... the mundane? The lack of weirdness is weird.'

The elevator doors opened up to the thirteenth floor, one that Luigi was dreading just based on its number alone. Unlike the previous few floors that were varying degrees of weird and out-there, this one resembled, well, a perfectly normal place. More specifically, a fitness centre. The weirdest thing was probably the water fountains at the door, depicting two Hammers each lifting the planet itself while spitting a stream of water from their mouths. Which, considering the other floors, wasn't really all that weird.

The elevator hall had an impressive trophy shelf behind glass to the left. A particularly cool one was the dumbbell made entirely of topaz. Luigi inspected them through the glass wall. Most of them were labelled 'Johnny Deepend', and most of those were for water-based sports. Diving, freestyle, water polo, even synchronised swimming.

'Johnny Deepend, huh?'

'Geez.' Daisy said. 'Where do I get a name as cool as that?'

Polterkitty debated with herself over whether or not she should go into details about the Grand Ghost of this floor. Considering his awful past, she knew he hated people finding out a... particular aspect about him. Maybe he'd be fine with a little bit of leaked info, but she didn't want to risk it.

'Sweet, a fitness centre!' Polterpup said. 'Master really needs it.'

Luigi rolled his eyes. 'Boy, have you always been this snarky?'

'Oh, you have no idea. I only do it cos I love you.'

There was just one other door, a translucent one that led to the right.

'Sense bad things.' Gooigi said from inside his glass home. 'Not like it. Worried for big bro.'

Luigi shuddered a little. With how silent the guy had been in the elevator, he forgot that Gooigi could speak on his own now. The fact that the voice came directly from his mind when Gooigi was 'home' didn't help. Despite Gooigi's warning, our heroes embarked for the door.

*RRRRRIIIING*

But not before screaming from the nearby phone suddenly ringing without even being plugged in. With a huff, Daisy answered it.

'What?! ... ... No, I don't wanna buy swampland. ... ... ... NO, I will NOT hold!' She slammed the phone back into the receiver. 'Great. So, among everything else, I guess all phones here have telemarketers too.'

She picked up the entire phone and smashed it into the floor. With that out of the way, our heroes embarked into the next room. Again, nothing weird about it at all - just a regular old gym lobby, with a desk, a bench, a shelf with stacks of towels and mats, and a big window that led not to the sky but another room on the floor. Albeit, the desk had some cracks on its top, and no one stood behind it.

Daisy beckoned for a ghost to come closer. 'Alright ghosty, come and get it.'

'Really, Daisy?' Luigi questioned. 'You still haven't learned not to taunt the ghosts?'

'It's either make them come to me, or they make me go to them.'

As if in direct response, a volleyball slammed into the other side of the glass wall with a mighty THUD that made both Luigi and Daisy jump. Polterpup waltzed over to the window and peered through it.

'Oh great.' He said. 'I think I found who we're looking for.'

The rest of the team approached the window, and saw a pool on the other side. The chlorine-filled water was home to a ghost, who judging by his appearance had to be this floor's 'Grand Ghost'. His black goggles and green water cap were not his most defining features - that honour went to his muscles. That guy gave Wario a run for his money. And he noticed our heroes peering in on him straight away.

'Hey dudes!' He greeted. 'Name's Johnny. You look like you could use a gnarly work-out.'

Daisy sighed. 'Of course he talks like that. So Johnny! You got any elevator buttons for us?'

'Elevator button? Oh, I know what this is about. You're the dudes who captured all my buddies!'

'Uh...' Daisy gulped. 'N-No we're not. We're just the, uh... pool cleaners!'

Johnny gave her a look that helpfully spelled out that he wasn't buying a single word.

'Uh-huh.' He said. 'That would explain the vacuum cleaner... had you dudes not matched the descriptions I've been hearing about.'

'Look, can you give us the button or not?' Daisy asked. 'Make it easy on us all.'

'Nah. That would totally ruin the fun of it. You feeling up for a gnarly game of water polo? Get through my bodacious gym and I'll challenge you for it.'

Daisy crossed her arms. 'And what's stopping us from just going through that door and doing it the quick way?'

Johnny snickered. 'Cos, dude, if you play my game the totally wrong way, I'll just take my button and go swimming in the lake, where you can't get me!'

'WHAT?!'

As aggravating as Daisy found this Johnny guy to be, she had to admit that he had some smarts. He must've been to be the only one threatening to leave the hotel entirely.

'Daisy,' Luigi said. 'I think we should listen. We don't wanna take any chances.'

'UGH, fine! Okay Johnny, we'll do your game. How do we start?'

'That's easy, dudes! Just turn around and go through the door on your right.'

To further encourage them to follow his directions, he picked up one of the many volleyballs floating in the water and hurtled it towards the window.

*BAM*

'AH!'

Luigi felt bad for Daisy. He was used to being scared of everything and wasn't that ashamed of it. Daisy? She probably hadn't been this scared in years.

'Sweet Luvbi...' She muttered. 'I hope those muscles are just for show.'

'Miaow.'

'Polterkitty says they're not.'

'Of course. Let's just go already.'

She saw fit to smash the bell on the desk with her fist before leading her team through the next door. Once again, the normality of the room baffled her. No weird structures disobeying the laws of physics. No stupidly tall towers. No over-the-top theming. Just a regular old locker room, that to Luigi's disgust smelled like a regular old locker room too. Luckily for Daisy, the sports-loving princess had long become blind to such an odour.

A lonely Oozer chilled by one of the lockers, spraying some deodorant into his underarms. He did so with perhaps too much glee. How ghosts could sweat was a question Luigi did not want answered.

'Ooh... yeah!' The Oozer murmured. 'Really feelin' that burn.'

Daisy got ready to punch him in the face, but he just smiled when his eyes met theirs.

'Oh, hey there.' He held up the spray can. 'Want some deodorant? It smells of roses and new cars.'

'Um, I'd love to take it,' Luigi said. 'But we have important, um, things to attend to.'

'Eh, that's fine. You can come back later. What about you, Orange?'

Daisy crossed her arms. 'Sorry, don't use it. I don't have the time to put it on.'

This statement made the Oozer cringe. How lucky for him that he didn't have a nose.

'You're... you're joking, right?' He asked. 'Do you just not sweat, or...?'

Luigi sighed. 'Daisy, I love you, but can you please wear deodorant for me? Playing sports with you is less fun when you, well, you know.'

'I'll start, just for you, after this mess is over. Does that work?'

'Yeah, that's fine.'

Judging by the looks Polterpup and Polterkitty were giving them, it was time to move on.

'Need deodorant?' Gooigi asked.

'Uh, I don't think so.' Luigi said. 'I think sweat would actually dissolve you.'

The Oozer blinked. 'Um... okay then.' He continued with his post-workout care.

Among all the lockers were two more doors. The one of the left had steam seeping through a small vent. Daisy figured that this door would get her to Mr Deepend quicker, but the door handle refused to budge.

'Really?' She sighed. 'Dang door's locked.'

'That's cos that door leads to the shower room, and it's occupied right now.' The Oozer explained. 'I don't know what you mortals think, but we like our privacy. The other door should be good though.'

'Why are you being so helpful?'

The yellow ghost shrugged. 'Eh. Got the news a little while back. Something about Ms Gravely giving up on most of us mook guys and deciding to eliminate us one by one instead.'

Well. That was not the response any of our heroes were expecting. They stared in shock, to which the Oozer hardly noticed.

'And you're all okay with that?!' Daisy exclaimed.

The Oozer shrugged. 'Meh. With a boss like Ms Gravely, you're lucky if she does it quick.' He frowned. 'Poor Grace... I saw her get dragged away. I don't think anyone has seen her since.'

Polterkitty shuddered. How much had Master lost it? How many ghosts were already lost? Now, she was thankful that Morty got to go out peacefully. There was no doubt in the Panthergeist's mind that Master would've brought him down the painful way.

'We have to stop Hellen Gravely.' Daisy said. 'As soon as possible. These ghosts need help.'

'Why else do you think I'm helping you?' The Oozer asked. 'After I saw you crushing my ammo with your own hand back in the mezzanine, I knew you had some power. Remember me?'

Daisy's eyes widened. 'Wait, Owen? Geez, how did I remember your name?'

'Uh, Owen?' Luigi asked.

'Oh, sorry. You weren't in the room when we met. Our meeting consisted of Owen and his sister trying to kill me.' She paused. 'Wait, where is your sister?'

Owen fell silent. His arms went limp, and the deodorant fell to the floor.

'Please,' He pleaded. 'Stop Ms Gravely. Save us all. Keep my niece safe. For the love of Jaydes, even if I rejoin my sister, make sure our little Odette is happy. No child should ever have to pass on in such a horrible way.'

Luigi nodded. 'We promise. I know what it's like to be missing family, but I'm sure you know that.'

'Oh, don't worry. I know.' He chuckled. 'I wouldn't blame ya if you don't remember, but I was the one who was put in charge of hiding that Dark-Light thing. I did a garbage job at it, obviously, but I've been wondering. Was I just lazy, or did some subconscious part of my mind want you find it?'

He waved as they headed for the door of his recommendation. Grunting and huffing could be heard on the other side.

'Oh, heads up!' Owen said, going back to applying the deodorant. 'Some friends of mine are currently working out in that room, Mabel and Mason. One problem, they definitely are still under Hellen's control. Be careful.'

'Note taken.' Daisy said.

It was a weight room, nice and open, with a massive mirror on one of the walls. Racks upon racks were full of weights and dumbbells of varying sizes. Owen's warning was not unwarranted. There were indeed two ghosts using the equipment. He just failed to mention that they were Hammers. One of them, most likely 'Mason', lay on his back and lifted some massive circular weights above his chest. The other, Mabel, had boxing gloves on her hands and delivered wallops to a punching bag. It was quickly losing its stuffing.

'You know what I never got, sis?' Mason asked, not even grunting. 'Why do most other Hammers speak like the Hulk? I mean, we certainly didn't back when we were still alive.'

'Mabel not sure what Mason mean!' Mabel said. 'Mabel speak just fine. Hammers speak fine too.'

Mason sighed. 'My point exactly...'

Luigi saw the both of them by the mirror, and had to clamp his hand over his mouth to prevent a scream. Daisy, on the other hand, did not react to herself fast enough.

'AHHH!'

She clasped her hand over her mouth too late. Both Hammers stopped what they were doing, and turned to our heroes.

'Well well well.' Mason said. 'Made it all the way to the thirteenth floor, huh? Hey sis, think we should let them go?'

'Mabel excited to hurt mortals. Mabel want prize from scary boss. Mabel wanna smash!'

'Now that's what I like to hear.'

Mabel pounded her gloved fists together, giving our heroes a smirk as she slowly drifted over to them. Mason preferred to stay in his spot, waiting for the perfect opportunity.

'Oops...' Daisy muttered. 'Sorry, guys.'

'It's okay.' Luigi said. 'We can deal with this. I-I hope.'

He approached Mabel with his Strobulb charging, who came at him almost intentionally slowly. Figuring this wouldn't be too hard of a capture, he unleashed the full-force flash into her face. Just one major issue - she held up her gloves in front of her eyes and blocked the flash. She snickered like a schoolyard bully.

'Oh no...' Luigi murmured.

'Whatever!' Daisy said. 'I can handle this!'

She ran around the armed ghost, who still paid more attention to Luigi than her, and saw her tails up for the taking. The princess chuckled to herself; these Hammers may have had the brawn, but they certainly lacked the brains. She grabbed onto the tails, but before she could slam Mabel into the floor she found out the hard way that Hammers also had good reflexes. The moment her gloves came into contact with the ghostly tails, Mabel spun around and delivered a mighty hook punch to her shoulder.

'AH!' Daisy yelled as she fell to the floor.

'Margherita!' Luigi cried.

Mabel laughed. 'Flower lady think Mabel dumb! Mabel may be ungood at English, but Mabel very smart at combat. Mabel make things very hard for flower lady!'

Daisy gritted her teeth; she had had about enough of being pushed around by violent ghosts. Who said she couldn't just beat the undead brick with her own bare hands?

'Daisy, look out!'

Mason did, apparently. He lifted up one of the many circular weights in his possession without even a single grunt, and tossed it into the air like it was merely a coin. It headed right for Daisy, ready to squish her into a pancake underneath its weight. The princess looked up, and didn't even have the time to scream.

'Mroowww!'

Polterkitty ran across the room, grabbed her by the back of her shirt, and carried her out of the way. The massive plate slammed into the floor where she once was, filling the room with a horrid crashing sound and the floor with cracks. Daisy wrapped her arms around the panther's neck, spouting a bunch of panicked but genuine 'thank you's.

'Remember sis!' Mason said, lifting up another one. 'Just leave the green one unconscious. We need him alive if we wanna get that prize money. The orange one, on the other hand? We can do whatever we want to her.'

'Mabel want money! Mabel do as little brother say!'

Luigi began to hyperventilate. The next door was open, but that didn't really matter with a pair of dangerous angry ghosts on their tail. Nothing prevented them from simply following them through the walls until the end, and he did not want go up against Johnny with an armed Hammer joining in. But what the heck could he do? Up against Mabel and her gloves and Mason and his weights, the Strobulb had no hope of getting through to them.

'MASTER!'

Polterpup shoved him to the floor, barely getting him out of the way of another circular weight. This time, it was aimed for Luigi, who didn't notice it coming his way. Once the plumber realised what just happened, he thanked both Grambi and Jaydes that they had two ghostly animals on their side.

'Polterpup,' He said, slowly getting to his feet. 'Do you have any idea what we can do?'

The spectral hound scoffed. 'Other than waiting until the floor inevitably collapses beneath us? I got nothing.'

Luigi gulped - he felt like he was going to faint.

Daisy rubbed her shoulder as Polterkitty helped her get back on her feet - something almost definitely popped, which she much preferred over her bones breaking or turning to dust. Mabel refused to let up, and threw another punch. Daisy leapt back, and the fist just barely missed her other arm. Polterkitty growled and snarled at the boxing Hammer.

'Mabel not care about kitty! Mabel willing to pound kitty, even if kitty boss's pet!'

Polterkitty didn't stop growling, doing a good job at directing Mabel's attention away from Daisy. To think that, just a week ago, she would've fled and left her new 'friend' to die at the arms of an attacker. Now, she couldn't even think about doing such a thing, even to Mean Lady.

'Alright Kitty, I appreciate the help.' Daisy said. 'But you could get hurt!'

Polterkitty didn't listen. All she wanted was to help. She took one quick glance at Mean Lady's chest, and the scars that covered it. One look at the bandages reminded her of her own crimes, and no matter what she could not forget that it was her who hurt her friend so badly.

Perhaps Mean Lady was 'Mean Lady' for a very good reason. It just fuelled Polterkitty's yearning to help. She was going to make up for that no matter what it took. She found herself unable to look away from her own damages, so much so that she didn't notice Mabel winding up one hell of a punch. The Hammer slammed her fist into the Panthergeist's stomach, launching her into the wall. Unable to simply phase through, Polterkitty smacked against the wall and screamed.

'Polterkitty!' Daisy cried.

Luigi cringed as he watched it unfold.

'Want to help.' Gooigi said. 'Help somehow?'

'I don't know if you can, li'l bro.' Luigi replied. 'Those punches and weights will reduce you to goop.'

'Must help somehow. Say what could do.'

'I-I don't know. J-Just stay in the Poltergust until we think of something, okay?'

'Okay. Will listen to big bro. Big bro always know best.'

Daisy, in a fit of rage, rushed forward and tried to punch Mabel in her face. The Hammer blocked her fists with her boxing gloves, chuckling to herself. Undeterred, Daisy swung a punch again, only for it to be blocked all the same.

'I can do this forever, you know!' The princess yelled. 'So you better give up now.'

'Flower lady not understand.' Mabel said. 'Flower lady mortal. Flower lady run out of energy sooner or later. Ghost not run out of energy, so Mabel kill mortal when mortal get tired!'

'If you think that, then you don't really know me.'

Luigi ran out of the way of yet another weight being thrown his way. He could practically feel the floor buckling beneath his feet, and there was a shockingly high chance that beneath him would be the fake ocean in the Spectral Catch. Perhaps that was indeed Mason's plan, but he didn't want to wait to find out.

He gasped - he just had an idea! Whether or not it would work remained to be seen, but it was better than nothing.

'Big bro have idea?' Gooigi asked. 'Help with idea, maybe?'

'Uh, you might be able to help if you want. What if we could trick Mason into hitting Mabel for us? It may work, but it sounds... dangerous.'

'Will do it for big bro. Do it just fine!'

'Um, are you sure? I know you can regenerate, but I don't want you to think you should get yourself hurt for me.'

'Big bro do same thing. Want to return favour. Big bro always save friends. Want to do the same.'

Polterpup ran over to the injured Polterkitty, while Daisy continued to box off with the Hammer while showing obvious signs of fatigue. Mason picked up one of the weights already on the floor, and got ready to chuck it again.

Luigi sighed. 'Okay, if you really wanna do it.'

'Happy to help big bro!'

Gooigi deployed himself with a happy little cheer, and Luigi was face-to-face with his gooey doppelganger. Seeing the monochrome man standing perfectly straight and 'alive' without any assistance was... odd, to say the least.

'G-Gooigi?'

'Been sentient, always. Lacked knowledge though. Didn't know how to do things on own yet. Watched big bro a lot, even when consciousness swapped. Learnt a lot of things. Ready to return favour!'

Luigi began to see Gooigi as not just his little brother, but his own son - a sentiment that sounded a lot worse than he thought it would. Or daughter; whatever Gooigi wanted to be, Luigi would support it.

'Do what, though?'

'Um, see if you can get up close with Mabel. I don't know if Mason will try to hit you, and honestly I'm not sure if I want him to.'

'Okay with it. Can regenerate anyway! Big bro can't.'

'Alright. Just, please, be careful.'

Gooigi walked across the floor with a stride very similar to Luigi's, except a little sluggishly and more basic in a manner akin to a somnambulating Luigi. However, it didn't seem like he was struggling to mimic his 'big bro's manner of walking. It was more like he was trying to find his own way.

'Hello.' He said, waving to Daisy.

The princess yelped. Though not the first time she had heard him talking, it was certainly the first time she had seen him walking around on his own. All that time it had taken her to get used to him was all for naught. Unfortunately, she couldn't take any time to greet him back when she had a ghost to contend with.

'Hello.' Gooigi said again, this time to Mabel. 'Wanna be friends?'

The Hammer took one look at him and scoffed. 'Gooey man think Mabel be friends with him? HA! Mabel laughs at gooey man. HA HA! Mabel turn gooey man to... goo! HA HA HA!'

Mabel shifted her focus from Daisy to Gooigi, figuring that the gummy bear thing would be much easier to crush than a fleshy being. Mason, running through the same thought process, changed his target from Luigi to his gooey counterpart.

'Hold on, sis, I got this.' He said. 'Let's just get rid of this easy target first.'

'Mabel handle this fine!'

Gooigi stood perfectly still. He didn't even have the 'Poltergoo' or the Strobulb in his hand, as if accepting of his fate. Mabel chuckled to herself, and smashed her fists together with Gooigi dead in the middle. He was reduced to nothing more but goop on her gloves. Luigi had to look away. The reassurance that Gooigi would just regenerate didn't make it any easier to look at.

With another laugh, the armed Hammer got ready to pound the princess into dust. Or, at least, she wanted to. It didn't take her long to notice that the goop had practically glued her fists together, and no matter how hard she pulled they would not separate. She ignored everything else around her to focus only on getting herself unstuck, so she didn't realise that Mason had already thrown the weight.

'Oh sh- Mabel!'

The poor ghost had no time to react to her brother's warning. The weight slammed down into the top of her cubic head, not quite flattening her but leaving her more dazed than a headless chicken. Little dark moons spun around her head.

'SIS!'

'You won't find Mabel's report-y, here in Last Resort-y! But Last Resort is spectacular hotel!'

Daisy felt a little dazed herself, albeit for very different reasons. Once her mind returned to reality, she grinned.

'Welp,' She said. 'Sometimes you just gotta fight dirty.'

The princess cracked her knuckles, and grabbed the big ghost by both her tails. In a half-unconscious state like that, Mabel couldn't really do anything to fight back, so Daisy derived much delight from bashing her into the floor over and over and over again. It didn't help Luigi's nerves though - that couldn't have been good for the already fragile floor.

'Unhand my sister right now!' Mason demanded.

'Right after your boss unhands our friends!' Daisy yelled.

'D-Don't you think you're being a little harsh?' Luigi asked. 'It's not like they want to help her.'

'We've been playing Good Cop Bad Cop this whole time, Sweetie!'

Mabel soon vanished into a cloud of sparkling red particles, leaving just her gloves behind. The goop on them flew back into the Poltergust, where it bubbled just a little bit.

'Did good?' Gooigi asked. 'Made big bro proud?'

'You did amazing, Gooigi.' Luigi said. 'I'm very proud of you, li'l bro.'

The plumber looked to Mason, who looked more than little terrified for his afterlife. He didn't bother picking up another weight.

'Uh, you wanna talk about this first?' He asked.

'I'd normally say yes,' Luigi said. 'But it's best for everyone that I capture you.'

Mason did not make himself a difficult target, getting stunned by the Strobulb before he could comprehend what was about to go down. Luigi got him into the Poltergust very quickly, and he began bashing him as soon as he could. Only once the Hammer disappeared into the vacuum did a bad thought dawn on Luigi.

'Oh no...'

'What's wrong?' Daisy asked.

'They were siblings, right? Maybe we should've defeated them with the same methods so they could stay together.'

Daisy smiled. 'Of course you'd be worried about that. It's what I love about you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. They'll be reunited once this is all over.'

She didn't want to tell him that, frankly, she saw the odds of them succeeding getting lower and lower each floor. Our heroes were about ready to move on, before a distressed cry from Polterkitty interrupted them.

'Oh god!' Daisy cried.

'Gattina!'

Luigi and Daisy rushed over to the injured Panthergeist, who had not moved from her spot after slamming against the wall. Polterpup stood by her side, whimpering.

'Com'on Kitty,' He said. 'You'll be fine. Ghosts are practically invincible you know.'

'I-I know. I just... need a rest.'

Luigi knelt down and stroked her neck. She purred like mad the moment his hand made contact with her skin, and the soft scratches got a smile out of her. She lifted up her head and pushed it against Luigi's chest, much to his surprise.

'Oh! I see you're just fine, girl.' He said, chuckling. 'You just needed a little bit of love. Why did you do that, girl?'

'I just wanted to... help. I don't know why though. It felt like the right thing to do.'

'If you're good to go,' Daisy said. 'I suggest we get moving. I know we've been through a lot, but the longer we delay the longer these poor ghosts are at the mercy of Hellen Gravely. As annoying as Johnny is, saving him next should be our primary objective.'

'Won't argue with that.'

With Polterkitty able to, albeit slowly, get to her feet, it made Luigi wonder how much a pet's wellbeing depended on the presence of their owner. They embarked into the next room, which in massive contrast to the last was surprisingly... tranquil. No big scary ghosts, or dangerous traps, or even blaring ceiling lights. It was a training room, with three exercise bikes on an elevated platform and three treadmills by the wall. It had a few water fountains, and a series of windows revealing the clear night sky. Everything was just quiet enough to be relaxing and not unnerving.

Daisy walked past the bikes and arrived at the next door, which wasn't even locked. 'Hey Luigi, this door's unlocked! We can- Sweetie?'

Luigi paid no attention to the exercise equipment or the door. He and the Polterpups - plus Gooigi - stared out the window. The weather had cleared up, revealing a beautiful array of stars unaffected by any sort of light pollution. Even better than that, the floor gave them the perfect view of a gorgeous bluish-green aurora that appeared to be just outside the window.

'Woah...' Luigi murmured.

How such a horrifying death trap could be home to such a beautiful phenomenon was something he'd never understand. Daisy joined the rest of her team and found herself just as enraptured as them.

'Never mind what I just said about rushing.' Daisy said. 'Let's just take a moment to relax.'

It was like a quick bout of humour in a tragedy - a relaxing break from the horror, necessary to keep people going until the end.

'Not going to sit on side-lines anymore.' Gooigi said. 'Going to help big bro. Help him save friends. Ready to help. Okay with playing bait. Fine with getting eaten by dinosaur. Will do anything to help.'

'Alright, li'l bro. Just promise me you'll keep yourself safe.'

'Not sure if want to be called Gooigi still. Fine name, but want to be more than just another big bro. Big bro think that possible?'

'Of course you can become your own person if you want. What do you want to be called?'

'Not sure yet. Will think about it.'

'Just tell me when you come up with something.'

Daisy may have known that he was actually talking to Gooigi, but seeing Luigi seemingly talking to himself did make her worry that he was slowly losing it. With only a few more floors to go, it seemed too early to lose it now.

Polterkitty's ears perked at the sound of near-silent scurrying. She noticed a mouse hurrying across the floor, from one mouse hole to another. It took a lot of willpower to not succumb to her kitty instincts. She groaned - after Master banned her from going to this 'icky and smelly' fitness centre, the mouse problem had gone nuts. It was the same case with the mezzanine - ban the kitty, suddenly rodent infestation. She never really thought about it until now, but it really made Master's decisions seem even worse. Poor Chef Soulfflé relied on her eradicating skills too.

'Okay,' Daisy said. 'I think that's enough looking at the pretty lights. If you're all ready to keep going, of course.'


Charles couldn't focus on whatever King Boo and Hellen Gravely were discussing. He simply didn't care anymore. After watching so many of his friends get captured and witnessing his boss only care about her own selfish plans, he was quickly losing the will to help. He and his wife Sam still guarded the front door, occasionally heading out as per their bosses orders to find the 'cowards' and have them 'properly taken care of'.

Did he and Sam want to do it? Hell no. But he could sense his son in the corner of the office, with the collar wrapped around his neck. Every time he merely moved his neck around to get a look at Lou, the poor Mini Hammer was electrocuted. Charles balled up his fists and growled - how he hated himself. He wanted to rebel against his cruel boss so many times tonight, but he couldn't risk losing his son.

Lou was the only thing he and Sam had left.

'I don't care if he has to get through us first.' Sam muttered. 'I will let him capture me in a heartbeat if it means that he can stop Ms Gravely. That green kid can go through hell for capturing all our friends, but he needs to stop Hellen and he needs to stop her now.'

'Don't bother.' Charles said. 'Hellen isn't going to let him win. And, for the love of Jaydes, don't let her hear you rooting for Luigi. Not with our son in danger.'

'Don't you worry about that, honey. If she threatens to hurt our little Louie, I'll offer to take his place. She will accept it.'

Luckily for Lou, he only got his punishment if his parents acted up. Meaning, Lou was free to do whatever the heck he wanted as long as he didn't leave the room. Perhaps it limited his actions, but it certainly didn't limit his words.

'You really think you're gonna win?' He said to his boss, who was barely listening to him at this point. 'Luigi is gonna pound you into ectoplasm! You hear me? He defeated Mr Wolfgeist and Serpci, did he not? If he could defeat ghosts more powerful than you, what chance do you have? What are ya gonna do? Powder yourself up into he's so enraptured by your beauty that he surrenders? Fat chance!'

His little rant came to a stop as King Boo used the magic of his crown to lift the portrait of Princess Peach into the air, and carry her away through the back wall. With the royal phantom gone, Hellen Gravely gave up on trying to remain calm and threw another one of her mirrors across the room.

'THAT CONFOUNDED COWARD!' She shrieked, her hair beginning to frazzle. 'I'd rip out his guts if I didn't need him alive! First he ruins all my plans, and then he takes my own pet away from me. My sweetie... my little darling Polterkitty... WHAT HAS HE DONE TO HER?!'

Lou laughed. 'Of course, if your pet abandons you it's gotta be Luigi's fault. It's not like you yelled at her last time you saw her.'

Hellen gave the young ghost a death stare, which didn't phase him in the slightest. 'Hmph! If she really has befriended that scum by her own freewill, she better hand him over to me the first opportunity she gets! If she doesn't... then I won't have a pet anymore.'


The room after the training room was even more relaxing, which made sense considering its purpose. The aroma of lavender filled the air, thanks to the incense permeating in the room. Minimalistic but no less calming music played through a small radio.

Daisy inhaled the sweet aroma and sighed blissfully. 'Niiice... someone wanna tell me why the fitness centre is the most relaxing of the floors?'

'Maybe Johnny just really likes to relax.' Luigi said.

Six green mats were laid down on the floor, and half of them were occupied. A Trapper had his tongues wrapped around his entire body, and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to maintain the position. A Slinker sat on her tails, bending her body over backwards until the top of her head met the floor. A duo of Mini-Slinkers and a Mini-Trapper took up the mat next to hers, each struggling to copy the pose.

'Now kids,' The big Slinker said. 'Have patience. Yoga isn't so fun if you rush it. Mind your manners, Sharon; no need to give the mortals that kind of gesture. Now now, Karen! No trying to disappear on me again. I see what you're trying to do, Aaron!'

The mortals decided to leave the Slinker and her three kids alone, and the Trapper didn't seem very antagonistic either. In fact, he seemed too caught up in his own tongues to really notice what was going on, though he did mumble something incoherent that most likely translated to 'Hello there, Polterkitty'. The titular Panthergeist gave a mew in response.

The Slinker, in some amazing feat considering her position, turned her head to our heroes. 'Are you the guys who have been capturing everyone?'

'Uh...' Was Daisy's response.

'Don't be frightened. This is just a little family outing. Isn't that right, honey?'

The Trapper couldn't respond, thanks to his less-than-appealing posture.

'Don't mind him.' The Slinker continued. 'He has the habit of doing a little too well. We're not gonna hurt you. The faster you get to Ms Gravely, the quicker everyone's freed. We're just enjoying ourselves in case Ms Gravely...' She paused. 'Let's spare the details, okay? Johnny's just past the shower room, and lucky for you I think our friends have forgotten to lock that door.'

'Wha... they didn't forget at all!' The bigger of the Mini-Slinkers cried. 'You told us to go in and unlock it so the mortals could free Johnny quicker.'

The Slinker laughed nervously. 'Hehe... Karen, you weren't supposed to say that.'

Of course, chilling in this relaxing room and just doing yoga seemed a lot more pleasant. In fact, Polterpup was already laying on another mat and performing a 'upward-facing dog' pose. Polterkitty took her own mat and proceeded to do what appeared to be some amazing feat involving stretching her back leg all the way out, when in reality she was just licking her, uh, crotch.

'Do you have to do that here?' Polterpup asked.

'Where else could I do it?' Polterkitty replied.

Daisy groaned. 'Poltiepup, Kitty. If we could not constantly delay the inevitable, that would be nice.'

Polterpup returned to his master's side, but Polterkitty remained in her spot. She stopped cleaning herself, looked to her paws, and mewed out her defence.

'Oh dear.' Luigi said. 'She says that the next two rooms are filled with water.'

'Right, of course.' Daisy said. 'A shower room followed by an indoor swimming pool. Well, I'm sure we'll do fine without her.'

As they approached the next door, Daisy couldn't help thinking about how much the name 'shower room' reminded her of that one cave from Pikmin 2. She was never the biggest fan of it; Wollywogs were the absolute worst. At least it wasn't the Submerged Castle. She shuddered at the thought of such a horrible dungeon.

Luigi noticed her unprompted shuddering. 'You okay?'

'Me? Yeah, just fine. Just ended up reminding myself of the worst level in Pikmin 2. Believe me, once you meet the Waterwraith you will never forget it.'

'Uh, noted.'

The other side of the door had something the trio wasn't quite expecting - steam. And a lot of it, so much so they could barely see what was going on.

Author Notes - Okay, seriously, this 'making Gooigi somewhat sapient' thing has really helped me out with this bloody floor. It means an otherwise hard-to-work-with level has something interesting to differentiate it from those before it. Consider that my record for this floor is eight minutes and forty seconds. Then consider that the world record is about six minutes. It's a pretty short floor once you've memorised the puzzles.

I'm getting a little scared at this point, as we're slowly yet quickly approaching the most worrying part of writing any story: not being so happy/excited/desperate to finish it that one rushes the ending. Which, by the way, is quite possibly the worst yet most tempting place to rush. I've had many temptations so far, considering the fact that this will be the first time I finish something of such a grand scale, but I am trying my damnedest to reign it in. I don't want this story to end on a rushed note.

By-the-by, Mabel and Mason are named after the twins from Gravity Falls, which you'd only get if you knew that Dipper's real name is Mason. I have no idea how well known that is by now.


Johnny Deepend, inspired by Officer Paul Kruller's heroics, wanted to become a hero himself. With his love for water, he saw fit to move to Seaside Kingdom and become a lifeguard.

He put himself through one hell of a training, becoming ripped in the process. The Bubblaine resort hired him, and he adored helping out and saving drowning victims. Even if he felt... wrong when he didn't appreciate the 'smoking hot babes' but instead one of the male workers at the resort.

Everything was going great for him... until someone saw him innocently flirting with the worker. His life was never the same, and he hated himself.