Jane Rizzoli: A Case Study
Part Six: Iterate
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Maura's not a guesser. So, when she comes up with a theory as to her best friend's recent change in behavior, she sets out to test her hypothesis the only way she knows how: careful observation and experimentation. Slow burn, fluff, eventual smut, some angst.
Warnings: The following fic is rated M (NC-17) for language and sexual situations. Readers be warned.
A/N: I know the last chapter was rough, but I want to remind you of one of the steps of the scientific method: iterate, i.e., use the results to make new hypotheses.
"Hey," Jane said, her voice impossibly soft.
Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had tried to ready herself for this moment, but she didn't have the mental fortitude to look Jane in the eyes. At any moment, she might start crying.
"Jane…" Maura tried, standing but avoiding her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Jane whispered.
Maura shook her head, barely able to hold back tears. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," Jane said, trying to catch Maura's eyes. Jane's hand went to Maura's arm, pulling her closer. "Since when could you lie to me?"
Maura glanced into her eyes. Since I started lying to myself, she thought, but she didn't speak. She gave Jane a weak smile but only shook her head.
"I wish you'd talk to me." Jane said sadly. She pulled Maura into a tight hug. It took Maura everything she had not to collapse into that embrace. Jane, stepped back, looking into her eyes, "You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything."
"Jane … I…" she started, the words stuck in her throat. Eventually, Maura choked out, "I can't."
The brunette searched her eyes sympathetically. "Maura…" she whispered, tucking golden locks behind Maura's ear.
Maura tried to stop herself, but her eyes went to Jane's lips. She was stuck in that moment again, from the night before. Her eyes moved briefly to Jane's eyes as the brunette gravitated closer. Maura felt Jane's hand at her hip. She was certain she was dreaming.
Suddenly, a voice made them jump apart. "Rizzoli?" Frost called from the hallway. "You down here?"
Jane sighed, closing her eyes. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a steadying breath. The brunette responded loudly, sounding a bit annoyed, "In here."
"Where've you been?" Frost frowned. He smiled politely at Maura, "Good morning, Doctor Isles."
"Good morning, Barry." Maura smiled, taking a steadying breath herself.
Frost turned to Jane, "I've been calling you. We have a case."
"Sorry," Jane said, checking her phone, "I had it on silent."
"At work?" he frowned.
"Maura and I were … talking." Jane said, looking uncomfortable.
"Okay…" Frost responded in a confused tone. "Anyway…"
"Yeah…" Jane said awkwardly.
"So…?" Frost replied, as if it were obvious what he was expecting.
"What?" Jane blinked.
"We've got a case," he repeated. "Let's go!"
"Oh," Jane blundered. "Okay. Well … goodbye Maura."
"Bye Doctor Isles," Frost waved as Jane followed him out the door.
"Talk to you later, Jane!" Maura called after her, but there was no audible response.
Maura did not have time to consider all that had happened in that morning's encounter until much later while she sat down for lunch. If Maura were honest with herself—something she was struggling with lately—she was really exhausted from the back and forth. One moment she was sure Jane was trying to confess something to her. The next moment it was as if Maura had imagined everything.
Whatever the reason, Jane's behavior was certainly out of the ordinary. Maura tried to dismiss it with excuses—She's just exhausted from working so much…She is worried about my behavior and is just trying to be supportive… Even if she does have feelings for me, she's not going to act on them… She's straight. Still, she could not ignore Jane forever. The brunette clearly knew that something was wrong and desperately wanted to fix it. And no matter how awkward things got between them, Jane always gravitated back to her. Every time it seemed like the attraction was stronger.
Maura was processing all these things as she rode the elevator upstairs. Maura had not packed a lunch that morning, so even with the risk of running into Jane before she was prepared, she headed to the café on the ground floor. She waved and smiled politely at Angela as she sat down at a corner table. It only took a few minutes for the oldest Rizzoli to come over to take her order.
"Hi, honey," Angela said with a bright smile. "How're you doing? Sorry we didn't get to do dinner last night."
Maura shook her head, "It's okay. How are you?"
Angela took a moment to consider Maura before she answered. "Are you sure you're okay?"
The honey blond simply nodded.
Mrs. Rizzoli put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay between you and Janie?"
"Why?" Maura frowned, wondering if Jane had said anything to her. Jane wasn't very open with her mother, but Maura was desperate for another point of view.
"She just seemed grumpy yesterday. Aloof," Angela shrugged.
"She generally gets that way when shopping," Maura smiled softly.
Angela looked at Maura questioningly before responding, "Not like this."
Maura avoided Angela's eyes. Oh, how she longed to have someone to confide in, but Angela was the last person she could talk to. While she doubted Angela would be upset, being a reasonable enough person, she wasn't exactly the type of person to tell a secret to. And if Jane really did have feelings for her, Maura couldn't out her to her mother.
"But there's clearly something going on." Angela moved her hand to Maura's arm, speaking sympathetically, "Did you try talking to her?"
"I'm not sure this is something I can talk to her about," Maura sighed.
Again, Angela frowned at her. It was as if Maura was speaking in Latin. "She's your best friend, Maura. Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll understand."
"I've tried…"
"And?"
"I'm afraid of making everything … worse."
"Worse?"
Maura shook her head, "It's hard to explain."
The two were quiet for a long time. Maura avoided Angela's eyes, worrying she might break and start spilling the truth. It was so hard for her to do the circles around the subject without breaking out.
Finally, Angela sighed. "Okay … well I still think you should say something to her. You know Jane—she can be pretty dense, but she loves you, Maura. She'd do anything for you."
"Thank you, Angela," Maura smiled.
"So," Angela said, taking out her notepad, "would you like the usual?"
"Yes," Maura grinned, "thank you."
As Maura waited for her food, she took out her purse to find her pocketbook. When she did, she noticed her notebook, still tucked away in a pocket. She had meant to take it out last night, but had not had the heart. Despite the possible consequences, she couldn't resist taking it out and looking through it.
She scanned the pages, examining her elegant handwriting. She was rather surprised at all the notes she'd taken. Her heart panged as her fingers moved over the words describing Jane's face, the way her expressions changed oh so subtly, the shades of flush in her cheeks, the flecks of color in her irises, the curl of hair that she often tucked behind her ear. Maura's mind easily wandered back to that moment in her office this morning.
She had been so certain that Jane was about to kiss her. She demonstrated all the signs: pupil dilation, extended eye contact, a faint blush over her cheeks. Jane had even briefly licked her lips. She stood in her space—mere inches from her face. Time and time again Jane had approached her, leaning in, locking eyes—only to pull away suddenly.
Had Maura been attracting a man's attention, and he had done the same, she would have no doubt that he was making his move.
"Oh," Maura said with surprise as a thought popped into her head. I've been going about this in entirely the wrong way.
As she looked through her notes, and added more from the past couple day's observations, she quickly realized her mistake. It was so obvious now.
Maura might demonstrate the general signs of sexual attraction to Jane, but that, in of itself, was not necessarily enough for her to feel comfortable to act. The majority of men—at least the kind Maura had dated—would see these signals as an invitation. They would make their move because they saw it as a given that they would not be rejected.
But Jane was a woman—and a special woman at that. Jane could be powerful and confident, but she could also be kind and gentle—and she was especially gentle with Maura.
Thus, Maura was going to have to figure out a way to show Jane that Maura was not as fragile as she seemed. She needed to determine a way to show Jane that her advances would not be rebuffed. All while still allowing Jane the opportunity to "back out," so to speak, if Maura really had been reading her behavior wrong.
So, after Maura received her order, she took her food down to her office with the excuse of having work to do. In reality, her "working" lunch involved developing an entirely different type of experiment. It seemed so obvious to Maura now that she had re-examined the evidence.
It figures, Maura thought with a sigh as she finished her salad, I haven't dated a woman in years… was Brianna my last? That was years ago!
The doctor had her next experiment outlined roughly by the end of her lunch hour. It would take further refining later. In the meantime, she needed to figure out how to bring about a conversation that had somehow never happened in the past several years of knowing her best friend.
"How have I never told her?" Maura thought aloud as she put away her notebook. "I know I've mentioned Kitty before. Haven't I?"
"Did you say something, Doctor Isles?" Susie said in the doorway.
"Just talking to myself," Maura shook her head.
"Well," Susie replied, "we've just received a body from Boston Medical. Detective Rizzoli and Detective Frost are on their way down."
"Thank you, Susie," Maura smiled.
To be continued
