Inspired by a Tumblr post by marsmoons. The entire first paragraph is theirs, and some of the second and third is theirs. The rest is mine :D
.
Thanks to 13 and The Lady Arturia for betaing!
.
TRIGGER WARNING: assisted suicide (but the person it happens to, is old). Death (but again, the person is old). Correction Camp (mentioned). War stuff (but it ends well). Curse words.
.
Word count: 9228
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
"I just think that we're perfect for each other. Whenever I look into your eyes, I think, I want to continue every second of my life with this man. You're always there for me, and your mere presence lights up my entire world. So, I'm asking you now, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"
Remus stared at the boy on one knee in front of him. He had just been sitting on the Hogwarts Express, waiting to go to Hogwarts for the first time, when a boy his age, with long black hair, walked in and proposed.
"I- hello. Er, my name is Remus Lupin." He hadn't met a lot of people, having been secluded most of his life because he was a werewolf, but Remus was pretty sure people didn't usually behave like this.
The boy smiled. "How fitting. The most lovely name in the world to the most lovely man in the world."
"Loveliest."
The boy tilted his head slightly, raising an elegant eyebrow.
Remus wiped his hands on his trousers, suddenly nervous he had said something wrong. "Er, it's called loveliest, not most lovely."
The boy smiled widely. "And you're intelligent too! Please, oh please, say yes. Marry me!" he took both Remus' hands in his.
"I- I don't even know your name."
"Sirius Black, or Sirius Lupin, if I may."
Remus felt his face heat up under Sirius' gaze. No one had ever looked at him like that.
"Er, I don't know. We're eleven so I don't think we can get married." That might have been the weirdest sentence he had ever uttered.
Remus had thought it would discourage Sirius, but the boy only smiled wider.
"What I'm hearing is a pre-yes. I've been waiting my whole life, I can wait a little longer, for you, my love." Sirius didn't leave any time for Remus to respond, instead pulling him up, so they were both standing. "I want you to meet my friends. Come."
Remus was dragged out of the compartment, almost falling as Sirius hastily ran down the train into a compartment with two boys. One had wild black hair and brown skin, the other was chubby with blonde hair.
"Hello again James and Peter. This is Remus. We're going to be married one day." He glanced at Remus with a dreamy look.
"Are we invited to the wedding?" the one with dark skin asked, biting the butt off his chocolate frog.
"Of course!" Sirius jumped in excitement. "James, you'll be my best man! And Peter." Sirius turned his attention to the other boy, who looked just as overwhelmed and confused as Remus felt. "You can be Remus' best man now that we're all friends."
Remus slowly glanced at Sirius. Did he just say—friends? Remus had never had friends before. None of the other boys protested… could it really be that easy?
Sirius pulled him down, so they were sitting. Peter smiled carefully at him and James offered some of his sweets.
Remus felt warm and bubbly inside.
.:lll:.
Remus looked so scared and it made Sirius feel uneasy. It was wrong. Remus was so small and kind and sweet, but… he was a werewolf. Yet Sirius had to fight every bone in his body to not walk over there and hug Remus till he felt better.
Yes, Sirius had known for a while, yet some part of him didn't believe it could actually be true. Not Remus. Werewolves were murderers, beasts, monsters. They were evil but Remus was none of those things.
Now that they had confronted him about it, and he had confessed, Sirius wasn't sure what to think.
"Hey, Remus it's okay," James said calmly. Sirius had never heard him speak so carefully before. "We aren't going to tell anyone and hey, we'll still be your friends. Right guys?"
Sirius found himself nodding. He couldn't imagine not being friends with Remus, but… he was a werewolf.
"Really?" Remus had tears in his eyes, and he was so small and vulnerable. Sirius, once again, resisted the urge to hug the sadness away. "You aren't scared of me?"
James snorted. "You fold your socks for Merlin's sake, excuse me for not trembling at the sight of you."
Remus laughed shakily. "You- you really don't mind?"
Surprisingly, Sirius found himself answering. "What's there to mind? You're still just Remus."
"But I- "
"You're a werewolf, yes, but only once a month. You're also the same size as a bowtruckle, so I want to bet all my money that you're no bigger than a chihuahua when you're transformed." Sirius had no idea where all the words were coming from, but he thanked Merlin they came to him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he said the wrong thing and lost Remus as a friend.
"Can you imagine a little chihuahua-werewolf howling at the moon?" Peter said, causing them all to chuckle.
Sirius jumped forward, wrapping his arms around Remus in a very koala-like fashion, smiling at him. Remus smiled back.
"Does that mean you'll still marry me?" Remus asked, smirking. It had been a running joke between them since Sirius proposed on the Hogwarts Express.
And even though it wasn't a proposal about marriage, Sirius had a feeling it was a proposal about something. About friendship. He didn't have a moment of hesitation.
"I'll still marry you."
.:lll:.
Remus was so grateful for the heating charm. Usually, he would have to watch Quidditch in the freezing cold, but Sirius had found a spell which would keep him warm no matter how cold it was.
Watching Quidditch wasn't his favourite thing in the world, but supporting James was. He had been on the team the last two years as Seeker, but now he was a Chaser. Though just as importantly, this was Sirius' first match ever.
He was a Beater, because in his words: I can beat up Slytherins without getting in trouble.
Remus thought the feud between Gryffindor and Slytherin was childish, and it was a feud James and Sirius proudly kept alive by targeting most pranks towards the Slytherins, though Remus never said anything.
All the Gryffindors and Slytherins began cheering as the teams walked onto the field. He quickly spotted Sirius with his dark hair put in a bun. Remus wouldn't mind it if Sirius always wore his hair in a bun.
"There comes your fiancé," Peter joked.
Remus snorted. Recently he had been… wondering, what it would be like if Sirius really was his fiancé. The thought was nice, but even if the one-in-billion chance that Sirius was into boys, he certainly wouldn't like Remus.
Remus wasn't even into boys, surely. It was common to think about boys the way he did. It was just a phase all guys went through. No one could help thinking things when they were around someone as amazing as Sirius.
But hypothetically speaking, if both of them were interested in boys the same way, Sirius wouldn't date him. Remus had had a growth spurt and was now taller than the others. His arms and legs were too long and lanky. His hair was always too flat or too wild and his freckles were ugly spots on his skin.
Remus sighed, rubbing his temples. It hadn't been long since the full moon and he really should have been resting. Though as the players took off, and Remus had free access to admire Sirius in his Quidditch uniform, he was reminded why he preferred staying.
.:lll:.
Sirius felt giddy. James, Peter and Sirius had told Remus to pick up some snacks from the kitchen, and now they waited in their animagi-forms for Remus to come back to show what they had done. Though all the thoughts that ran through his head were precisely:
Remus. Happy. Remus. Surprise.
He unwillingly began wagging his tail. The experience was something out of the ordinary. It felt natural, yet so strange with an extra body-part.
James was a stag and Peter was a rat, but Sirius thought he had the best form. A big black dog. An adorable big black dog, thank you very much.
The door opened and Sirius was instantly off the bed. He just couldn't contain his excitement. His tail was wagging hard and he feared it might fall off, but it didn't matter because Remus was right there.
Remus didn't move. His mouth was open, tentative, as he glanced around the room, probably wondering why there was a stag, a rat and a dog in the dormitory. Sirius barked. Remus jumped, dropping the food on the floor.
"I think we've messed with him enough, guys."
Sirius turned his head. James was standing next to his bed where a stag had been standing moments before. Remus' eyes widened further.
"Surprised?" Peter asked. He had transformed back as well.
Remus stared between all of them, his gaze landing on Sirius. "You're… animagi. You're animagi. Why? It's extremely dangerous-"
"Werewolves don't attack other animals," James quickly said. "But most animals are afraid of them. We're not. We can stay with you during the full moon and help you not hurt yourself."
Remus didn't speak; his face blank, but he always did that when he was thinking hard about something. None of the others said anything. Sirius sat down, still wagging his tail from side to side.
It took a few moments, but Sirius finally saw realization hit Remus as his eyes widened and lit up. He crouched down, scratching Sirius behind his ear. Sirius leaned into the touch, feeling as if he was in heaven.
"This is incredible," Remus finally said. "How did you pull it off?"
"We started right after we found out about you," Peter said. "It took forever, but we wanted to do it for you."
"It's extremely dangerous." His voice was dark.
"We know, but now it's done," James said. "We didn't tell you before because we knew you would try and talk us out of it. But we're spending the full moons with you, whether you like it or not."
Remus appeared to space out again as he stopped petting Sirius, who had just been enjoying himself. Sirius barked to get his attention, then licked him in the face, whining as Remus pushed him away with a laugh and began to scratch his belly.
He had never thought something that simple would feel so good.
"Transform back you mutt, I want to thank you."
Remus stopped petting Sirius, who quickly rubbed his head against his hand, and whined loudly.
Remus just laughed. "You know, if you're a dog, I can't marry you."
Sirius had never transformed faster. He scrambled to place himself in Remus' lap and wrapped his arms around him. Remus hugged back tightly.
Sirius distanced himself from Remus and held a hand to his chest. "How dare you insinuate such a thing! Moony, if you won't marry me, I have nothing to live for. Stay!" He threw himself dramatically at Remus, a hand to his forehead.
Remus chuckled.
"Thank you, Sirius, for everything."
"Anything for you, Moony."
.:lll:.
Sirius had been gone the entire afternoon, which wasn't like him at all. In all the time Remus had known him, he had only done it twice. Both times it had something to do with Regulus.
It was almost curfew as Remus was walking down the corridors. Being a Prefect had its perks, and one of them was that he could practically go anywhere, anytime he wanted — Remus would never tell his friends this though, fearing they would talk him into a slightly illegal prank.
As he turned to a corridor, Sirius' scent was much clearer. Remus walked slowly till he stood in front of something resembling a secret passageway. He waited a few moments, making sure no one was around, then spoke softly.
"Padfoot?" There was no answer. "Are you there?"
Someone shifted behind the curtain.
"I know — I know you probably don't want to talk about it, and that's fine. I'm here if you want to, though, but… it's almost past curfew, and I've got some tea in the dorm, and some biscuits."
Silence.
"I could read a fairy tale for you; Cinderella. I know you like that one. We could also sit in silence if you want, just… whatever you need." He held a long pause. "Do you want to come with me?"
There was a slight pause, and then some shifting. Sirius' small fingers pulled the curtain slightly aside. Remus crouched down. Sirius moved, making space for Remus who then sat down next to him, their bodies pressed against each other.
"He saw me and…" Sirius sank. "Regulus. Us together. He saw me and…" He breathed shakily.
Remus put an arm around Sirius, who buried his nose in Remus' neck. He had no idea what Sirius was talking about, or who Regulus could have seen him with, that would make him this upset.
"It'll be alright, Pads." Remus squeezed tighter. "Everything will be okay."
.:lll:.
Sirius hadn't ever planned to run away like that. He always imagined Regulus would come with him, that once Regulus turned seventeen, they would move out and live together. But Regulus betrayed him. He had seen Sirius and Dennis kiss in an empty classroom and told their parents, who wanted to send him to America for a wizard correction camp.
He ran away first chance he got.
The full moon shone brightly above his head as he fell out of the Knight Bus. It quickly took off behind him. Sirius got himself standing up with the last bit of strength he had in him.
Potter Manor was in front of him. Sirius sighed, relieved, and almost began crying. The light in James' room was on. He was probably up worried about Remus.
Each step towards the house sent bolts of pain up throughout his entire body. But each step was a step closer to freedom and Sirius had never felt so light.
He ran away. And he would never return.
Sirius hammered on the door. Suddenly it opened and James was standing there in his red and gold pyjamas. Sirius fell into his arms, holding tighter than he ever had before.
.:lll:.
Remus had been dozing off but woke when someone sat on his bed. He turned around, wincing and turning away from a sharp light. A few moments passed before his eyes got used to it, and he realized it was Sirius.
"I'm freezing."
Still half-asleep, Remus lifted his blanket, inviting Sirius under and went back to sleep. He started when something cold touched his legs. Sirius giggled.
"How are your feet so cold?" Remus asked. He sat up and reached for something under his bed. Sirius shrugged and watched with a curious gaze as Remus found two woollen socks. "Give me your feet."
Sirius sat up as well and placed his feet in Remus' lap. Remus put the socks on him and rubbed his hands against them, hoping to create some warmth.
They sat like that for a few moments.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked. "You've been rather quiet since you ran away this summer."
Sirius shrugged, proving Remus' point.
"You know you can tell me about anything, right?" he said slowly. "I'm worried, and… did something happen that you haven't told us about? Does it have something to do with what happened with Regulus?"
Sirius stared at Remus' hands for a few seconds. "I don't want to talk about it." His voice was thick.
Remus stopped in shock. Sirius sat completely still, refusing to meet his gaze, but Remus could hear his heartbeat go way up.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to tell."
"Pads—"
"No."
"Sirius."
He didn't answer.
Remus continued massaging his feet, racking his brain for the right thing to say. He glanced at Sirius, whose expression was emotionless.
"It helps to talk about things, you said that yourself."
Sirius' expression stayed the same.
"I want to help. I want to be there for you. Whether you just need me to listen, if you need advice or if you need help fixing something—"
"I don't need fixing."
They were both silent.
"Of course you don't," Remus said carefully. "I didn't mean it like that."
Sirius quickly moved, yanking his feet away from Remus and standing up, taking two steps before stopping suddenly.
"Padfoot… talk to me, please."
He stood still a few moments before sitting back down on the bed. His arms were crossed, and his head was turned away from Remus.
"I don't want you to hate me."
His voice was only a whisper, but Remus heard it clear as day. He positioned himself next to Sirius, pressing their sides together.
"I could never hate you," he whispered. "You're the most thoughtful, honest, funny and kind person I have ever met. You accept me for being a werewolf. So, because of those things, and because we're friends, I can accept you for who you are, Sirius. Because you deserve it."
Sirius took a few deep breaths. Then hesitated for a few minutes. They sat in silence, but Remus waited for Sirius to speak first.
"I'm gay."
"That's gay! I mean great. It's great." Remus' face was flaming hot. He hid his head in his hands, feeling overwhelmed with knowing Sirius was into boys. Sirius giggled and Remus looked up and smiled at him. "Sorry. I just mean to say that it's okay. I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me."
Sirius nodded, and let out a long breath. "Thank you, Moons."
"While we're on the topic of secrets, er…" Remus stared at his hands. "I— I'm bi."
Sirius gasped. "That means we can actually get married!"
Remus' face got a hundred degrees warmer — and that wasn't the only thing. Sirius quickly seemed to realise what he said, because he hurried to explain himself.
"I mean not that we have to get married just because we both like boys, but you know. It's just that we can, or well we can't because of the law, but— I'm gonna stop talking now."
Remus nodded. He glanced at Sirius, though quickly looked away. His face was still flaming hot.
"Thanks for talking with me, Moony," Sirius said after a while, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder a quick moment before standing up. "And thank you for the socks. I better get back to my own bed."
"Yeah… I'll see you tomorrow." Remus looked at Sirius, who smiled.
"Goodnight."
"Night."
After Sirius left, Remus quietly cast a silencing charm around the bed.
.:lll:.
It had only been twenty-four hours, but Sirius found himself sneaking into Remus' bed once more. He had never dared to let himself believe Remus would be into boys but to make up for lost time, Sirius hadn't thought of anything else than kissing Remus since their talk the previous night.
Remus was sitting on his bed, looking as adorable as ever as he smiled shyly at Sirius. His undying attraction grew, and with a smile, Sirius sat next to him.
"We should kiss."
Both their faces grew red and Sirius cursed himself for not having any tact.
"I mean," he hurried to say, "that because you haven't kissed anyone — you haven't kissed anyone, right?" Sirius bit his lip but was relieved when Remus shook his head. "Because I have kissed guys before, and you haven't, we should kiss so you can practise for when you get a boyfriend or girlfriend."
"Oh—"
If possible, Remus' face became even redder than before. Though Sirius thought it was adorable and wished he could kiss every inch of it.
"I really want to kiss you — oh no, er, I mean… I always just imagined my first kiss would be with my boyfriend or girlfriend, you know."
Sirius smiled, completely unaffected.
"Will you kiss me if I ask you to be my boyfriend then?"
Remus looked at him, his eyes were wide, and Sirius hoped he looked genuine. His heart was beating faster than it ever had, and he was sure Remus could tell. They stared at each other and Sirius' eyes quickly darted to Remus' lips.
Remus sank slowly, and although they had eye-contact, he was breathing shakily. Opening and closing his mouth. Sirius was so captivated it took him a couple of minutes before he realised, they sat in silence.
"Moony?" Sirius whispered. He nodded. "I've liked you for a very long time now, and… I haven't let myself think about it because I thought you were straight, but… I need you to know that nothing in the world would make me happier than being your boyfriend."
His hands were sweaty, and his heart was only a couple of beats away from bursting through his chest, but the look on Remus' face as Sirius said the last word…
Remus coughed in his sleeve, then smiled widely. "Yes. Yeah. I would love to be your boyfriend. I like you a lot too."
Sirius smiled and felt as though he might explode.
.:lll:.
Remus never knew how great cuddles could be. Or how he had lived his entire life without them because he had never been this relaxed. His head was resting on Sirius' chest and his arms were wrapped around him. Sirius gently stroked Remus' back.
They might have been laying like that for hours; Remus wasn't sure but didn't care. He could stay like that forever.
Suddenly the door opened, though Remus lay still, pretending to be asleep.
"Hiya Padfoot." It was James.
"Hey Prongs," Sirius said cheerfully. James sat at the foot of the bed.
"Moon? Already?"
"No, just cuddly." Sirius squeezed Remus slightly, before continuing stroking his back. His voice then turned very playful and teasing. "How was your date with Evans?"
Remus could almost smell the blood rushing to James' face. "It was good. Yeah. Perfect, even." His voice was dreamy, as it always was when he was talking about Lily. "She even kissed me."
"Way to go, Prongsie." Sirius laughed heartily, causing Remus to shake lightly against him.
James cleared his throat. "How about you and Moony? How's that going?"
James and Peter found out about the two not long after they got together. They had seen Remus and Sirius asleep in the same bed, cuddling, one morning, and had spent months talking positively about being gay, until Remus and Sirius felt safe coming out.
"It's going swell," Sirius held him tightly. "I still can't believe I'm lucky enough to be with someone as amazing as him, you know?"
"Yeah. There's no one like Moony."
Remus blushed, and he hoped they didn't notice. Perhaps he should stop listening in on their conversation, though he had no idea how to 'wake up' without looking suspicious.
"Did you get the chocolate from Honeydukes I asked for?"
"Of course."
Sirius stopped stroking his back, then there was a sound of a chocolate frog being opened. It was waved in front of his nose. Remus inhaled, then opened his eyes and blinked against the light. He moved his head, trying to take a bite without moving too much, though caused James and Sirius to laugh.
"Even while sleeping, Remus is a chocoholic."
"That's my Moony for you," Sirius said.
Remus blushed. My Moony. He shifted to sit up, and so did Sirius, though Sirius put an arm around him, pulling him closer. Remus took the chocolate frog and slowly began eating. Closing his eyes again. He enjoyed the closeness.
"Hey, Moony," James said teasingly. "What would you choose, if you had to choose between sex and chocolate?"
Sirius snorted loudly. "Chocolate, obviously."
"No…" Remus said, blushing, but he drew out the 'o' too long for it to be believable. They laughed. "I would choose both. At the same time."
Sirius perked. "Oh?"
Remus sat up straight, looking into Sirius' eyes and tried his hardest not to blush. "I could lick the chocolate off your skin."
Sirius' cheeks were painted pink, he grinned, licked his lips, then tried to appear bored. "Hm."
"And that's my cue to leave," James said, then hurried out of the door. "Have fun you two."
.:lll:.
The day had gone by quickly — quicker than Sirius would have liked. His time at Hogwarts had passed by in a bliss. So many things had happened. Everything had changed.
Sirius had friends now. He had Remus. He had a family who he loved and would do anything for. He had the whole world ahead of him. There was a war to be fought, and a life to live — with his Moony.
They were sitting on the same boats like the ones they had arrived in, but this time they were cramped together. Remus had doubled in height, Peter had doubled in width, James was tall and muscular and Sirius, well, he was still gorgeous.
"I'm going to miss this place," James said suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, me too," Sirius said, his voice thick.
"But, hey. Home is where the heart is," James said. "Hogwarts is where we are."
They nodded in agreement, though neither believed it. For one they wouldn't all be living together. James would be moving in with Lily, and Remus and Sirius would be living together in London.
That was the part Sirius was mostly stoked about, and the only thing keeping him from grabbing all of them and just moving into their dorm permanently.
Remus tapped his foot against Sirius' causing him to smile and a warmth to spread across his body.
The future was uncertain, but Sirius knew as long as he had his friends by his side, everything would be alright.
.:lll:.
One thing Remus had learnt about today, was that Sirius looked smashing in a suit. It didn't come as a surprise, but it was still a nice revelation.
James had proposed the day they graduated Hogwarts, and only a month later they stood in front of each other and said I do. It was a small event, but still amazing. And they had only invited their closest friends, meaning people who knew about him and Sirius.
Which meant Remus could openly admire Sirius in a suit.
Sirius caught his eye from across the room, where he was handling best-man duties. A few minutes later, Sirius stood in front of him, holding his arm out and asking him to dance.
It was a slow song, and saying they were dancing was probably an exaggeration. Mostly they were just holding each other, swinging from side to side. James and Lily were dancing as well, looking happier than he had ever seen either of them.
"I want this too," Remus said.
Sirius grinned. "Well, you just start planning. I proposed seven years ago, remember?"
Remus snorted. "Yeah. Hardly counts. You didn't give me a ring."
He barked with laughter, loudly, making more than one person look at them. Sirius put his hands through Remus' hair. "If… when things get better for people like us, would you marry me?"
"Pads, of course I would. I wanted to say yes the first time."
Sirius grinned at him stupidly. He lifted his arm to spin Remus around, then held him close, looking into his eyes.
"Hey, Moons?" Sirius said, suddenly sounding nervous.
"Yeah?". Remus was breathless.
"I love you."
Remus flushed but didn't have a trace of doubt as he uttered his next words.
"I love you too."
.:lll:.
It was quite fantastic, Sirius thought, that James and Lily shagging could result in such a beautiful little boy. What was even more fantastic, was that Harry looked exactly like James, but he had Lily's eyes.
It was like they printed him out.
He looked up to see James beaming at him, having just taken a picture.
"We want to capture everything," he said.
Sirius nodded, understanding completely. He looked back down at the little sleeping boy in his arms. With his eyes closed, Harry looked like baby-James from those pictures Mrs Potter had shown.
Though Harry was significantly cuter.
Just then, Harry woke up and immediately started screaming. Sirius was on the verge of panicking when Lily came into the room.
"He's probably just hungry," she said with a tired smile.
She took Harry from his arms and began feeding him, causing him to immediately calm down.
Sometimes it seemed James and Lily were the perfect parents; they always knew what Harry needed or wanted. But he knew it wasn't always easy, especially with the war and concurrent missions. Sirius and Remus even took care of him sometimes.
"Moony!" Sirius called, drawing out the 'o' until Remus came into the room.
"What? Are you hungry too?"
They all laughed, but Sirius pouted.
"No… I just wanted to know if you had the presents for Harry."
Lily rolled her eyes. "He's going to be spoiled; it isn't good for him."
"I was spoiled," James said.
"I rest my case."
James made a face as everyone except him laughed. Remus found the presents, and then gave them to James who took Harry on his lap and unwrapped the presents slowly, as Sirius took pictures. It was a black dog and a wolf, similar in size to the stag and doe he had gotten from his parents.
Harry was delighted and made cute baby sounds.
Sirius took the dog, waving it in front of Harry's face. "Padfoot! Come on, can you say it, Harry? Pad-foot."
Harry just laughed, reaching for the toy. Sirius rolled his eyes, but complied, nonetheless. He didn't think he could ever deny Harry anything he ever asked for, but it was fair. Sirius was his godfather after all; he was allowed to spoil all he wanted.
Harry deserved it anyway. He had become a light in the dark; someone worth fighting for. Someone who deserved a bright future, without having to worry about war.
.:lll:.
Remus stretched. The full moon yesterday had been bad — though not as much as usual. Sirius finally had time to stay as a dog. It had been so long since all of them had been there, but James, Lily and Harry were in hiding, and Peter was busy with a ministry job and being away on missions.
It had been nice with Sirius there. He had been distant lately, and Remus had assumed the worst — that Sirius didn't like him anymore.
But all those thoughts disappeared when Remus woke up that morning. All his injuries had been healed, he had been tucked into a warm bed and there was a chocolate bar on the nightstand with a note that said, 'good morning'.
He sat up slowly and began eating the chocolate, wondering where Sirius was. Though his question was answered merely a few minutes later when he came into their bedroom with breakfast and tea.
"Hey."
Sirius sat next to him on their bed and gave him the tea. It smelled a bit funny, but Remus drank it, nonetheless. Sirius sat with his own cup but didn't drink it. He kept glancing at Remus every few seconds.
Sirius spoke suddenly.
"What's your name?"
"Remus John Lupin." The words were pulled out of his mouth. Remus frowned as he stared at Sirius, then the empty teacup. "Veritaserum."
Sirius nodded. "Do you work for Voldemort?"
"No."
"Do you work for Greyback?"
"No."
Tears stung in his eyes. Remus felt lightheaded and confused. He couldn't move. Had Sirius cast a spell on him? Sirius' heart was beating quickly. He could hear the loud thuds.
"Are you the spy? Are you the one who has been giving information about the Order?"
"No. I would never betray the Order of the Phoenix."
Sirius let out a long sigh of relief. Though it only lasted a few seconds before his eyes widened in shock and he jumped out of the bed, running out of the door only to return a few moments later and frantically search for his wand, then realizing it was in his pocket.
"Pads, what… what's going on?"
Sirius stopped in his tracks. "Shit, Moons, I'm sorry. So sorry. Shit." He waved his wand and Remus was suddenly able to move again. "Shit I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to use veritaserum on you. I'm so sorry. I thought you were the spy."
"But—"
"I'm so sorry, Moony, I have to go right now! Shit!" He was taking quick breaths. "I made Peter the Secret Keeper. James wanted me but I suggested Peter; I thought it was the perfect plan. No one would suspect him. Shit, Moony, I have to get them out of there right now."
Sirius was only a blur to Remus as he stormed out of the room.
.:lll:.
Sirius didn't return till after it got dark, he was exhausted, but had never felt a bigger relief. James, Lily and Harry were in another safe house, and this time Sirius was the Secret Keeper.
They had stormed Peter's house and made him tell everything he could about Voldemort's plans. Their luck had turned. It was only a matter of time before they would win, and Voldemort would be gone forever.
Sirius almost felt giddy as he entered the flat to tell Remus the good news, but the atmosphere quickly changed his mood. It was dark and quiet, besides muffled sobs. He walked slowly to the bedroom, turned on the light, and found Remus where he had left him that morning.
The breakfast was still there, untouched. Sirius didn't waste another second before sitting next to Remus on the bed. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were wet, but no tears came out.
"Re—"
"Why did you think I was the spy?" His voice was hoarse.
Sirius hesitated. "Because of the werewolves." Remus didn't look surprised, though he sank and took a few deep breaths. "But Remus, the way you spoke about them made it sound like you wanted to join them."
"Sure, I don't want innocent people to die. I'm a monster." He snapped, but his voice was thick. "I wanted to join them, yes. Not Greyback. Not Voldemort. They didn't want to either, but they had no other choice."
"There's always another—"
"Not for them. Not for me." His gaze was blank. "They followed Greyback because he was the only one willing to give them a home, and Greyback followed Voldemort because he allowed him everything he wanted."
"The pack was there for me when you guys couldn't. They're like me. They just want to live a good life, to be free, to not be alone. They didn't want Greyback or Voldemort, but they couldn't choose. I hoped Dumbledore, or someone could help me give them a choice."
Sirius sank, then nodded.
"I should've known you only wanted to help; you always do that." He looked at Remus, hoping he could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I'm sorry I thought you were the spy, and I'm sorry I gave you veritaserum. I just had to know because I couldn't bear the thought that you…" Sirius took a deep breath. "I'll help the werewolves. You're right about them, and I promise I'll do anything to help."
Remus nodded, then wiped a few tears and leaned his head on Sirius' shoulder. He quickly wrapped his arm around Remus and pulled him even closer.
"Promise?"
"Promise!" Sirius gently stroked his arm. "But hey. James, Lily and Harry are safe. We're safe. Peter got busted as the spy, and he has given information about Voldemort's plans, so we finally have the upper hand. The war is ending soon."
Remus sat up straight, looking at Sirius, his eyes glowing with hope. "It's over?"
Sirius smiled softly. "Soon. So soon. And then we'll work towards making life easier for all werewolves."
Remus buried his head in Sirius' neck, pressing a soft kiss there. "Love you."
"Love you too."
.:lll:.
Sirius was practically jumping on the couch. Remus let him. He was worse than Harry, honestly.
The war had been hard on all of them — especially Peter's betrayal. They were slowly healing, and the Werewolf Wealth Organization was taking small steps. Though finally, they had something real to look forward to; Lily was giving birth to their second child.
Remus had been asked to be godfather, and he had almost burst with happiness when they had asked him.
Sirius and Remus had looked after Harry while James and Lily were at the hospital. Right now, they were watching tv, though not really. They were all too anxious to concentrate.
Sirius jumped off the couch, quickly followed by Harry, when Lily walked through the fireplace. She had large bags under her eyes, and her hair was messy, but she was glowing and smiling brightly.
James came a few seconds later.
"It's a girl," he whispered.
They let out silent whoops and hollers and whispered congratulations as to not wake the little baby girl up. Sirius held out his arms, but James shook his head and offered her to Remus. He took her with shaking hands and held her close. James helped adjust his grip a little.
They all sat down. Sirius was on his right and Harry was on his left. Lily was leaning against James, half-asleep. Remus almost cried. She was so small.
"Her name is Violet," James whispered. "Violet Lily Potter."
"She's beautiful," Remus whispered, unable to tear his eyes away.
"Must be Lily's genes," Sirius said.
James rolled his eyes but couldn't keep the smile away from his lips very long. He put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Congratulations on being a big brother."
Harry just nodded, keeping his eyes on her.
Sirius smirked. "Ay, Prongs. Now you're only five away from a baby Quidditch team."
Lily made a noise of protest. "I'm not doing this five times more."
James pouted.
They all laughed as quietly as they could. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and pressed a few gentle kisses where he could reach without disturbing Violet.
"You look so good, Godfather."
.:lll:.
Sirius was squeezing Remus' hand tightly, but he couldn't help himself. His eyes were fixated on the tv, but it was the same for everyone else in the room. It was July, and the sun was high in the sky outside, but that wasn't the only reason he was sweaty.
The people on the television talked about whatever. Why couldn't they just get to the point?
Sirius glanced at Remus. He had become a little wrinkly and grey-haired over the years, but Sirius loved him as much as ever, and if things went his way tonight, he might finally be able to use the ring he bought, back when he and Remus first started dating.
James and Lily were there too, praying for more than one reason. The legalization of same-sex marriage would allow Sirius and Remus to be married, but it also meant a lot to Harry, who was bi, and their third kid Arya, who was genderfluid.
They were all gathered and moved to the edge of their seats as the man in the television spoke, and said…
Same-sex marriage is legal.
Everything was quiet for a moment, but then Sirius shrieked and tackled Remus and everyone erupted into cheers, but Sirius barely heard them. His heart was beating loudly, each thud saying, Remus. Remus. Remus.
He could marry Remus.
Remus wiped tears from his face, and Sirius did the same. He took shaky breaths, not breaking eye contact. Slowly, he pulled out the box from his pocket and presented the ring. It was rose gold and had moons and stars engraved on the side.
Remus nodded, apparently also unable to form a real sentence. Sirius slipped the ring onto his finger and Remus responded by kissing Sirius and holding him tighter than he ever had before.
.:lll:.
Remus felt restless standing still as Lily adjusted the final things on his suit. It was a dark blue colour, and even Remus had to admit he looked good in it. Lily smiled as she took a step back and admired him.
"Ready?" she asked. Remus shook his head rapidly. "It's okay to be nervous. Just remember that it's Sirius, alright. You've seen him hundreds of times before. Besides, I bet he's even more nervous than you. I'm so glad I got to be your best-woman instead of Sirius'. Imagine the drama."
Remus laughed, already more at ease.
But his nerves returned full force when they were given the signal, and Lily guided him into the hall. The music was playing as he entered, and everyone turned to look at him. Violet and Arya were the flower people and had spread lupins on the floor. Harry was the ring bearer.
Remus almost didn't notice anyone in the room though, because Sirius was standing at the altar, wearing a black suit, a black shirt and his own personal touch, a rainbow tie. He was smiling brightly, and his eyes were shining.
Remus' would've forgotten to walk if Lily hadn't pulled him along. Suddenly, he was standing in front of Sirius and Lily stood by his side.
The officiant was a young man with a black afro. Even though same-sex marriage was legal, not everyone was willing to wed them. Some gay people had taken it upon themselves to become officiants, to help out.
He began talking, greeting everyone and having a short speech about marriage, but Remus couldn't concentrate on his words. He was too occupied by staring at soon-to-be-husband.
The officiant turned to Sirius. "Do you, Sirius, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"And do you, Remus, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
The way Sirius smiled at him made Remus' cheeks glow red. The officiant continued the ceremony. Remus was shaking. He almost wished the officiant would hurry up so he could marry Sirius already.
"And now to the vows. Sirius?"
James handed him some cards.
"Moony. All the best decisions I have ever made has involved you." Sirius was looking directly at him, with so much love in his eyes that Remus almost began crying.
"When I proposed to you forty-three years ago, we became best friends, and everything after that has been a dream. You always help others, you're always kind. And every day I wake up next to you I'm amazed about how lucky I am to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way I do, every day, till we're old and grey. And beyond. I love you, Remus. I've loved you since the day I met you, and I will continue to do so, until the very end."
Remus nodded and wiped some tears away from his eyes. He had to take a moment before reading his own vows. "Padfoot. You've been the first for me. My first friend, my first boyfriend. The first person I've ever loved."
He paused and took some deep breaths. "I can't wait to experience firsts as a married couple. I can't wait to see what the world has planned for us, going forward. You make every day for me worth living. Make every day brighter, better and happier. I know everything will be alright, because I know I will always have you by my side. I only wish I could've known this at our first meeting because then I would've said yes and married you on the spot."
The officiant held a small pause, allowing everyone to wipe their eyes. He then called for Harry, the ring bearer, to give them the rings. Sirius and Remus slipped them on to each other's fingers.
"By the power of your love and commitment, and the power vested in me, I now pronounce you a married couple! You may kiss each other!"
Sirius grabbed Remus and pressed their lips together. Remus responded eagerly. The crowd cheered, and for the first time, he was overwhelmed with the feeling of how real this was.
He had never truly believed — always hoped, but never truly believed they would get married. That things could get better. But they could and this was proof.
Remus had married the love of his life.
.:lll:.
The last few decades with Remus had been the best in Sirius' life. Their wedding and honeymoon made him fall in love all over again. They were old now — almost eighty — Sirius couldn't deny it any longer, but there were great-grandkids now. The Werewolf Wealth Organization had never been bigger or had more supporters. There was peace and things had never been better.
Sirius walked with two cups of tea into their bedroom. The werewolf-transformations took hard on Remus, so he was bedridden more often than not. Not that Sirius complained — he preferred Remus in bed anyway.
They had moved after the wedding into a cottage in the forest. It was small, but comfortable enough for both of them, and if they had guests; they could always sit outside.
Sirius spent most days caring for Remus, working in the garden, cooking and spending time with the Potters. Him and James still pulled pranks at every holiday dinner.
Remus was sitting on the bed when Sirius entered. He wasn't reading a book like he usually would, but Sirius guessed he had just woken up. He offered the cup of tea to Remus, and they sat in silence a few minutes, their sides pressed against each other.
"Pads? I, er…" Remus sank. "I need to talk to you about something."
His voice was weak, but the moon had also just been a couple of days ago. "Anything, Moony."
"You know what the doctor said."
Sirius shook his head. "No, Moony. She's wrong. She doesn't know you as I do. You're strong, okay? So strong."
"Pads, it takes me three weeks to recover from the full moon, and then I have two days where I feel good before the pre-moon pain sets in."
"B-But the wolfsbane potion!" Sirius took a shaky breath. "It's supposed to help you."
Remus nodded. "It lets me keep my mind, but Pads, my bones still break twice a night every month."
He had clearly been thinking about this for a long time, and it made Sirius' heart break. The inevitable was happening, but he didn't want it to.
Remus continued. "Please, Pads. I don't want to pass away when I'm in pain. As… As the wolf. I want to lie in a warm bed, with you by my side and surrounded by my family and friends."
Sirius shook his head; tears pressing against his eyes. He couldn't lose Remus. Couldn't imagine his life without the man he had loved since forever.
"Please."
Remus took Sirius' hand and pressed a kiss against his knuckles, then wiped tears away from his eyes and kissed his forehead. Sirius was sobbing against Remus' shoulder. This was what heartbreak felt like.
A few minutes later, when Sirius had calmed down a little bit, Remus spoke again. "Sirius, please. It's only a matter of full moons before the wolf does it. I want to go out on my own terms."
"Okay," he whispered. But he was still crying, and his heart was aching more than it ever had. But this was for Remus. He deserved a nice and peaceful passing.
They spent the rest of the day holding each other tightly.
.:lll:.
It terrified Remus more than he had ever thought it would. Death. But he knew it was his time to go, and he could feel that the next full moon would have been his last. It was better this way. Sirius and the rest of the family could say proper goodbyes.
And though he wouldn't admit it, the feeling of knowing he would never have to live through another full moon, a feeling he couldn't remember ever having, was such a huge relief.
Remus sighed contently. The Day had arrived, and Sirius had made sure everything was the way Remus wanted. They had eaten his favourite breakfast in bed, taken one last stroll in the garden, eaten lots of chocolate and talked about everything in their life.
Sirius was crushed, but he wouldn't show, desperate to make Remus' last day perfect. And it had been. Any day with Sirius was perfect for Remus.
For the last hour, they had been sitting in comfortable silence, staring at the sunset.
"It's time," Sirius said, breaking the perfect silence. His voice was already thick with tears.
Remus nodded and got up, offering his hand to Sirius. They walked hand-in-hand to the bedroom. Once there, Sirius cast a few spells, making sure the bed was warm and comfortable.
And they sat next to each other.
The healer came. James and Lily came. Harry, Violet and Arya. All the grandkids came. Part of him was still amazed he had such a big family; such a big group of people who loved him.
Remus said goodbye to each of them. But through each goodbye, he could feel Sirius next to him, holding his hand tightly. Each goodbye hurt more than the last because it was one goodbye closer to Sirius.
James and Lily stepped forward.
"Ay… I'm gonna miss you, Moony," James said, wiping tears from his eyes. "You're the lucky one though, I guess; I'm the one who's gonna have to deal with a whining Sirius, right?"
They laughed, but it quickly subsided. Somehow laughter made it all the more painful.
"Guess I'll win our reading-bet." Lily took Remus' hand.
He smiled. "You deserve it anyway… Lily, I… I'm so glad you've been in my life."
Lily laughed, but tears were streaming down her face. "Me too, Remus. Me too."
She kissed Remus' cheek and then joined the others around the bed. James sat down.
That's how it started. With just the Marauders.
"Moony, I…" James took a deep breath. "I'm so glad Sirius decided to propose to you when we were eleven. I'm so glad we've been friends."
Remus didn't answer, instead hugging James. Tears were pressing against his eyes, and he let them out. A few moments later, James let go.
The reality of the situation washed over him as he looked at Sirius, whose hair was as gorgeous as ever, and whose eyes were red and puffy, his face still as radiant as ever, despite the wrinkles of age. Remus cupped Sirius' face, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," Sirius said between hiccups. His eyes were filled with tears, but he didn't remove them from Remus. "I'll be okay, Moony. I'll have Prongs and all the others. Do what you have to do."
The healer came over and pressed a vial into Remus' hands.
"It'll be okay," Sirius said. "Just like falling asleep."
Remus nodded, too choked up with tears to say anything. He hadn't known how much he needed to hear that. Before unscrewing the vial, he looked into Sirius' dreamy, grey eyes one last time.
"Thank you, Sirius," he whispered, his voice shaky, "for everything."
"Anything for you, Moony."
The potion tasted sweet. As his eyes closed and his body felt light, he was aware of the people around him. Of their love. Of Sirius by his side, who had always been there for him.
.:lll:.
Sirius stared at the gravestone, feeling empty inside. There were no tears left in him. He had only lived without Remus for three days, but it had felt like three hundred years.
Remus (Moony) Lupin-Black
1960-2039
Truly beloved friend and husband.
It was raining. Rain was Remus' favourite weather because they would snuggle up on the couch, drink hot chocolate and read to each other as they listened to the rain landing on the roof.
The memory unlocked a whole new type of pain as Sirius realized he would never get to do that again. He clung to James who had walked up to him and allowed himself to be dragged away from the grave, towards a bench by the church.
James pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Sirius. There was a video on the display, ready to be played.
"Remus sent me this and asked me to play it for you."
Sirius almost ripped the phone from James' hands and frantically tapped the play button.
It was Remus. In all his grey-haired, shiny eyes and freckled glory. It was almost too much to bear as the video played, and Remus smiled at him and began talking.
"Hey, Pads." He smiled that super adorable smile that Sirius loved. "I just… I need you to know how much you mean to me. I struggled a lot sometimes… with life and everything, and you know that, but what you don't know is that mostly for you — also for me, but mostly for you, I stayed because you made every day worth it."
"When things were at their worst, I stayed because I knew I got to spend another day with you." He slowly wiped a tear from his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that I love you. So, so much. And… I'm sorry I left you. I know you understand because you've made our last days so good for me, but… I know you'll be alright." Remus took a deep breath. "I love you. And I guess I… I'll see you later."
He smiled one last time before leaning forward to stop the video. Though Sirius hadn't really realized it was over till James slowly took the phone and put his arm around him.
Sirius' voice was croaky. "What am I going to do without him?"
James didn't answer, instead, pulling him closer and holding tighter. They sat on the cold bench for hours.
Sirius hadn't known that would be the last hug him and his best friend shared. He couldn't have predicted that as he fell asleep that night, he would never wake up.
.:lll:.
The compartment looked familiar but much whiter than Remus remembered. To be fair, it had been seventy years. He felt giddy, almost, but more happy than anything. This was where his life with happiness truly began, and clearly, Sirius felt the same way.
As if on cue, Sirius walked through the door to the compartment, but froze in his tracks, staring wide-eyed at Remus for a few moments.
"Last time we were here, you proposed."
His words caused Sirius to jump across the room and hug-attack Remus. Sirius was shaking when he let go of Remus.
"How? What's going on?"
Remus looked at him. "You're dead."
He watched the confusion in Sirius' eyes, and his eyebrows as he frowned. Then the sadness. It was the same stages he went through when he stepped into this very same compartment, and his mum was there to greet him.
Sirius still had a death grip on Remus.
"Is this real?"
Remus smiled. "Yeah, it's real. We're in the afterlife."
"A-And how did I die?"
Remus cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "Grief, I think. It happened while you were sleeping."
Sirius took a shaky breath. "Oh, Moony. I—"
"I know." Remus pulled him closer. "Missed you too. But er… it'll take a few years before James and Lily get here, so in the meantime, I was thinking we could…" He raised a suggestive eyebrow.
Sirius barked with laughter and pulled Remus closer to kiss him properly.
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
.:lll:.
Gosh this was so exciting to write. I hope y'all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it :D
