Chapter 4: The Other Eren
Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Previously: Eren loses his shit during the trial. He's ready to transform and run away with his friends. Levi starts beating him. Eren gives up. Hange realizes he's no longer breathing.
They rushed him to a sealed-off wing in the hospital.
Hange and Erwin watched the doctors take him to the operation theater.
Hange stepped back, sliding against the wall to the ground, head in hands. "What the hell did we do, Erwin?"
The commander sat beside her. "We knew his healing factor was strong enough that even severed limbs could regenerate. What were a few broken bones and bruises compared to that?"
"But they didn't." Hange's face held no hint of cheer as it usually did. "And we killed him. A fifteen-year-old boy."
"He's not the first one that young to die by my orders," Erwin said seriously.
"You mean out in the battlefield where they know they could die and accept it's a possibility that they will be used as sacrifices? That's different and you know it."
They were silent for a minute. "He'll be fine," Erwin finally said. "He has to be."
"He was dead for six minutes. Six. That we know of." She felt so frustrated. Despite all her powers of observation, she hadn't noticed that the unconscious boy being carried beside her was actually dead. "It might not even matter if they stabilize him."
"He's not like a normal human. There's a very high chance his abilities will reverse any potential brain damage."
"There was also a very high chance he'd heal from a beating when he's survived losing limbs and being swallowed alive. Look how well that turned out." Hange's chest felt heavy with guilt. She couldn't imagine what Levi had to be going through. Her expression spoke volumes and Erwin answered the question before she even asked it.
"He left soon as the doctors took Eren."
Hange felt angry at Levi for running. Then she realized he could do nothing in this situation. Standing around uselessly and waiting was going to be hellish. C'mon, Eren, you have to pull through. For humanity, for your friends. The three had gone through hell and survived. They only had each other. "Who's going to tell Ackerman and Arlert?"
Erwin sighed deeply. "I'll take care of that."
Hours stretched on and Erwin had to leave at one point after Mike returned from meeting with Zackly. Unsurprisingly, the chief had been pissed when he was told the news. For now, they were trying to keep it on the down-low from the rest of the military.
Finally, the team of surgeons stepped out. Hange and Erwin quickly stood.
"Is he going to be okay?" Erwin asked immediately.
"It's difficult to say."
Hange wanted to rip her hair out. Why did doctors always have to say that? Couldn't they just give a straight answer for once?
"The patient has multiple broken ribs, a fracture in his left arm, a sprained wrist, broken nose, missing tooth, as well as bruising on his internal organs," Dr. Kissinger explained. "We were able to repair most of the damage. However, we will have to wait and see how detrimental those six minutes without oxygen were to his brain."
"What happened? He's only fifteen," Hange said, continuing to fret. "He couldn't have had a heart attack, right?"
"Knowing his circumstances, it's clear he was under extreme amounts of physical, mental, and emotional stress. He has a healthy heart. So considering the extreme circumstances, my theory is that he may have succumbed to his overwhelming situation and just stopped fighting. His heart gave out as a result. Poor boy." She shook her head.
The statement thickened the already heavy atmosphere further.
"Is he otherwise out of danger, aside from his injuries?" Erwin said, taking it in stride. "Chief Zackly asked he get an update as soon as Eren was out of surgery."
"I wish I could tell you so," the doctor said sympathetically. "But his condition is still severe."
"Do you think he'll make it?" Hange asked.
"The next twenty-four hours will be critical. Unfortunately, I'm not too hopeful."
Her heart fell at those words.
"We appreciate everything you've done," the commander thanked them.
Hange watched the doctors leave. "What now?"
"I have to go tell the chief." Clearly he was not looking forward to that. "I was hoping for some good news, but."
"Who knows about this?"
"Aside from those present in the room at the time, there's only the chief and the doctors. They were given a gag order before they began the operation."
While most may not mourn Eren's death or his condition, they would certainly jump at the chance to take this golden opportunity to bury the Survey Corps for their screw-up.
"After I meet with Chief Zackly, Arlert and Ackerman will know as well."
"They're being told, then?"
"Yes."
Hange wasn't sure how well they, Ackerman in particular, were going to react to being served a gag order.
"It was a fight to convince Chief Zackly to let them see him. It was the least I felt I could do."
Hange nodded. If Eren had died on the table, it wouldn't have mattered if the two found out about his condition before everyone else. But if he lived, she hoped Eren might be more motivated to fight to live if he saw his friends.
Eren was standing in the middle of a very familiar room when he became aware.
Various posters of video games and TV shows were on the walls. There was a black desk in the corner with notebooks, pens, and pencils scattered about with a black cushy chair pushed in. The bed was messily made, covered in junk food wrappers as well as his laptop and his music player. It was his room, back home. He wandered over to the bookshelf, touching the titles. On the carpet was an ugly stain from when he'd spilled soda at the age of thirteen. His mother had given him an earful about that.
The air was thick with the delicious scents of peppermint and gingerbread. Eren could hear the soft sounds of cars and music coming from outside the open window. White flurries fell gently to the ground and stuck there. A cold breeze swept in and chilled his warm skin.
Everything felt real.
But there was also a dream-like quality to it.
Eren couldn't put his finger on it with his five senses yet he could sense it still.
His feet took him outside the bedroom, past the hallway covered with framed family photos, and down the stairs to the sound of laughter. The smell of eggnog was strong and his mouth watered. They were in the living room. His parents.
And him.
The Eren on the floor was opening presents by the beautiful Christmas tree. He tore open one of the boxes and pulled out a sweatshirt with the logo of his favorite basketball team, the Thunder Spears. Is this from last Christmas? Eren remembered getting that gift from Aunt Faye.
On the floor, Eren smiled happily. "Never had an aunt before."
Eren watched him put the sweatshirt on. He noticed the muscles bulging in the other Eren's biceps. That's not me. If he were watching a memory of his own past, his body wouldn't have looked so built.
He spotted the small, silver package from his parents. He could recognize it easily and knew what was inside. His parents had told him they'd get him in a cell phone once he finished a year of high school with good grades. His birthday had passed during the school year and they'd kept their promise for Christmas. And he knew the gift after that, the last and best one, was from his older brother. Zeke had given him a baseball signed by his favorite player.
Everything in the scene from the tree to the gifts to the anticipation on his parents' faces was familiar, but the Eren on the ground was not.
"A cell...phone," the other Eren said wondrously, studying the device he held gently and awkwardly in his rough hands.
Holy shit. Eren stared in shock. This really is the other Eren! It was the boy whose body he had taken over. Is he in my subconscious living my memories? Seemed a fair trade considering he was running around in the boy's body. Eren wondered if that was how he was able to remember events from Eren II's life. Makes sense. We're two minds—souls?—sharing one body.
"You're so lucky."
Eren felt a jolt as Eren II smiled joyously at him. "You can see me?" Then he found himself sitting on his bed, back in his bedroom. Across from him was his doppelgänger, sitting on his own bed. The other boy's room was almost sparse compared to his. The floor was brown stone with a small bed, a table beside it, a dresser, and a chest in the corner.
"Your world without Titans is amazing. Beyond anything I could have ever imagined." Eren II's voice was full of awe. "I wonder if my world, if the outside world, has some of the same natural beauties your world has."
"Have you been in my head the whole time?"
"Technically, I think it's my head. But yeah," Eren II replied, shrugging. "I've been living your life through your memories."
"And I've been living yours, literally. Well, you can have it back now. It fucking sucks. Er, no offense."
"I don't know how to do that. I don't think I can do that. And to be honest, I don't want to. At least, not right now," he admitted, looking outside his window.
Eren glanced outside his own window instinctively. Instead of the street, he saw his eleventh birthday party. His head snapped back to Eren II sharply. "What about your people? What about Armin and Mikasa? Are you just going to forget about them so you can live in this fake world created from my memories?"
"I told you, I can't leave."
"You should at least try it."
"I did. And I was only able to take back control once." Eren II stared him in the eyes unflinchingly.
"The boulder." Eren's eyes widened. "It was you." He had blacked out because the real owner of the body was back in the driver's seat, likely able to take control because he was too distraught to put up a fight. "Dude, how the shit did you lift that big ass fucker?" Eren hadn't even been able to get the damn thing to budge a centimeter. He was astounded his twin had managed to actually lift the entire thing.
Eren II winced at the foul language. "Why do you curse so much?"
"Just part of the charm. How the hell did you pick it up?"
"I was more motivated than you." There was a dark edge to his voice.
Eren could feel the anger simmering beneath the surface. Is he influencing me in some way? Did Eren II make him lose his temper more quickly when he was usually pretty laid-back? It would explain his rage in the courtroom. Was it some sort of side-effect that came with the memories? Except it hasn't happened before. He had felt the emotions Eren II had in that situation and felt emotional knowing what had happened. But he had never been affected so strongly by them. "Just goes to show why I shouldn't be in control."
"I've tried—"
"You should try harder," Eren insisted.
"Instead of telling me to take back control, why don't you go back to your own body?" Eren II shot back.
He flinched. That's right. He was the interloper in the situation. Eren II shouldn't have to push him out. Eren was the one who didn't belong there in the first place. "Trust me, I would if I could."
They fell silent.
Eren II sighed and said, "You're surviving just fine. Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Because you're doing the heavy lifting. Literally."
"I haven't seen Mikasa look as happy as she has with you the few hours she spent with you than in the past month alone with me." The words came out more bitterly than he'd planned.
Is it wrong for me to feel the way I do about his Mikasa? Eren didn't even bother wondering if his other version even shared the same romantic feelings. He could not imagine a world where the two of them existed and he didn't love her.
Eren II placed his hand over his heart. "I can feel it. Your feelings for her."
"Should I... Do you want me to stop?" Eren asked delicately, not entirely sure what he meant by his own words.
"No." Eren II looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm kinda dense when it comes to the whole affair of the heart thing. We're the same person. We're both Eren Yeager. But I tend to mess things up with her, hurt her without meaning to, but you're really good at making her feel better. I hadn't even realized the full extent of my feelings until you were talking to her and she was looking so happy. It made me resent you so much. To see her treat you like that, not noticing I was different," he admitted, a bitter feeling rising in his chest.
No amount of mint chocolate chip ice-cream had been enough to stop the envious burning. The way Mikasa had been looking at his face, but not knowing it was not really him, not her Eren, made him feel incredibly jealous and sad. How could she not tell they weren't the same? Or was she just so happy with this new version that she didn't care? Was he truly so awful that she would accept this imposter so quickly and without batting an eyelash? It hurt a lot to think about that.
Eren sensed what he was feeling and felt guilty.
"Stop that," Eren II said, picking up on the guilt. "Just keep making her smile. I've only ever wanted her to be happy and safe."
Eren nodded, understanding. "I will."
"Good."
Tactful as ever, Eren asked, "So is it okay if I kiss her?"
"Absolutely not," Eren II replied at once, glaring.
"But what if she kisses me?"
Eren II looked pained.
"Promise I won't screw it up for you and make her think you're a terrible kisser," Eren said, grinning.
"You're a bastard."
"I don't know about Mom and Dad in your world but—"
"Shut up. You've used that one before."
"Hey," Eren said curiously, "are you aware of everything I do and say and think?" He wondered if that was how Eren II knew he'd used the line before.
"Not everything." Eren II shook his head. "I'm asleep most of the time."
"Asleep?"
"That's what I call it. I hear this beeping all the time when I'm asleep. And sometimes, I think I hear Mom and Dad and other voices, too. They feel like a dream." Eren II knew instinctively that he spent hours in those dreams even though they only felt minutes long.
"Huh, that's weird."
"Not weirder than some of the things Mom and Dad say in those dreams. I once heard something about singing dogs and dancing flowers. And there's this one song I've heard a few times and it gets stuck in my head every time," he complained.
"What song?" Before Eren II could reply, Eren's head filled with a familiar voice.
"Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped got turned upside-down..."
"That's the one."
Eren's eyes widened. "You're in a coma! I mean, I'm in a coma! And someone is playing The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!" He jumped up and paced around, hope building in his heart. "The beeping has to be the heart rate monitor! And the singing dogs and dancing flowers are from one of my favorite childhood stories! I've heard that sometimes patients in a coma can still hear and doctors encourage their friends and family to read to them and talk to them. Mom and Dad must be reading me my childhood bedtime stories and playing my favorite songs and TV shows!"
"That means you're alive!" Eren II grinned. "You have a body to go back to!"
"And if you're in my body most of the time and you're aware of what's happening around you, there should be some brain activity happening there. Hopefully, it'll be enough to keep my brain from decaying." Eren fell back on his bed in relief. That was a huge load off his shoulders. Things were starting to make more sense and the terrifying questions had satisfying answers.
Eren II was glad to see him lose most of his tension. He seems so fragile. He waited patiently for his twin to gather himself. "I don't notice much when I'm in your memories," Eren II said, going back to their previous conversation. "About your actions and thoughts while in my body."
"Have you ever actively tried to listen and watch?" The wide smile had yet to leave Eren's face. It was stretched so far, from ear to ear, that it had to hurt.
"A few times. I can't do heavy doses, though."
"Because it's mentally draining?" Eren guessed.
"Emotionally, too. You make me want to strangle you. A lot." Eren II glared.
Eren suddenly recalled his comment about Mikasa's ass, somehow just knowing without a doubt that was what the other boy was referring to. "It's not just you who's itching to beat me. Did you see the ass-kicking I got? I thought hobbits were peaceful people. But I don't think that midget fucker got the memo."
"Better you than me."
"Fuck you, asshole." The smile took out the bite from Eren's words.
"You should go now. I wish there was more time so I could explain everything about my world." But Eren II was beginning to feel sleepy. "I think we have a stronger connection now so my memories should be more frequent."
Eren nodded and looked out his window, watching his eight-year-old self play at the beach, making a sandcastle with Armin.
He saw Eren II watching with an eager expression, drinking it all in. I still have my family and friends and a good life in a pretty great place waiting for me back home. There's a lot for me to look forward to. Eren II had Armin and Mikasa and a shit ton of hardships before him. He can have my happy memories. Eren thought he deserved them, not just because of all he had gone through but because every child should have carefree and fun memories.
"We're the same age, you know." Eren II, of course, knew what he was thinking. They were almost synced here, able to sense each other's thoughts and feelings. "You don't have to treat me like a child."
"I promise I'll take care of Mikasa and Armin."
"And help humanity win."
"That's your job." Eren waved his hand. "You're doing the heavy lifting, got it? So go sleep or do whatever you have to so you can take control when it's time."
"Make sure you get me where I need to be in one piece."
"This body regenerates," Eren said dismissively. "How hard can it be?"
Eren II snorted. "You just made me have a heart attack, idiot. I'm fifteen."
"I didn't have a heart attack per se."
"Close enough. Now get out of here. And don't stop fighting again! Remember, fight to win!"
Now that he knew he could go back, Eren wasn't going to give up until he was home. Other me is pretty cool. He had been expecting Eren II to rip his head off and demand his body back. I wonder if he's so dopey because he's high on my memories and fascinated with my world. Regardless, he was happy they got along and would help each other out.
Eren was ready to go back, feeling confident and happier and more like himself than he had in days.
Armin and Mikasa rode the carriage in silence.
Armin felt cold dread grip his heart. Whatever reason Commander Erwin wants to see us has to do with Eren. The two of them had been pulled away from the other trainees once more, this time by the orders of Commander Erwin instead of the MPs who had investigated Eren before the trial. Mikasa was equally uneasy and hopeful across from him. Her emotions switched between worry and fury. Eren has his regeneration, he'll be okay, Armin tried to assure herself.
"Where are we going?" Mikasa finally broke the silence.
Armin looked outside the carriage. That's strange. Aside from the courthouse, he had never been to the capital before but he knew they most certainly were not on military grounds. "Why are we going through the shopping district?"
"Probably has to do with the same reason they had us wear civilian clothes." Mikasa gestured to their outfits. A skirt, blouse, and coat in her case, and simple trousers, shirt, and jacket in his.
The carriage stopped before a large building.
His heart nearly stopped when he realized where they were. "Wait, Mikasa!" Armin called after her as she dashed toward the hospital. A familiar blond-haired man was standing leaning against the wall. He had been with the Survey Corps' commander and he had also questioned the 104th class about Eren pre-trial.
"Where's Eren?" Mikasa demanded, marching up to him.
"Why were we brought here, sir?" Armin joined them, fearing the worst. Eren had said almost all his memories were gone. What if that had somehow screwed with the healing power? Armin didn't think he could deal with the guilt if it had. Should I have told them? As far as they knew, the only memory loss they thought Eren suffered from was connected to when he got his abilities, not his entire life.
"I want to see Eren!"
"Quiet," the man, whose name was Mike, Armin remembered, chided her. "This is a hospital. It's full of sick people that need their rest. Keep quiet and I will take you there."
Armin touched Mikasa's arm before she could react. "Lead the way, sir."
Mike took them to an empty section of the building and left them with Erwin. Armin noticed Mikasa's dark expression, scanning their environment, almost as if she were looking for someone. Humanity's Strongest Soldier or not, he better not show his face any time soon because she will kill him.
"Follow me," Erwin said, leading them.
"What's wrong, sir? What happened to Eren? Is he okay?" Armin asked. He glanced at his friend. She had fallen silent, mind probably jumping to the worst-case scenario.
"He's alive."
Alive. That was only a step up from dead. He's not telling us Eren's condition. Armin decided to be more specific. "Is he well?"
"If he's seriously hurt because of that damned midget," Mikasa began quietly and calmly, "you better tell him to run hard and far and hide his face where he can never see the sun again, because when I get my hands on him I am ripping his head right off."
Erwin regarded her almost warily.
Oh no, Armin thought nervously. She was serious and the commander could tell. "What happened after Chief Zackly made his decision?" Armin said in hopes of distracting them.
"We took Eren to a room to rest and recover."
"And did he?" Fear was clear in Armin's voice.
Before Erwin could answer, Mikasa ran forward.
"Mikasa!" Armin took off after her.
She ran down the hallway and threw the door open. "Eren!"
Sitting on the bed, shirtless, with a spoon between his lips, was his best friend. "Hey, guys!" Eren greeted cheerfully.
Armin broke out into a bright, relieved smile.
"You should try this pudding. It's so fucking good it's almost worth the beating I got." Eren stuck another spoonful in his mouth and swallowed. "Want some?"
References
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air — A 1990s comedy TV show
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