Chapter 8: Apology
Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Previously: Hange "discovers" how Shifting works. Eren learns they're on an island. He's still pissed at Levi. He is accepted by his squad. They still refuse to call themselves the Avengers.
Eren lounged at the base of a tree, feeling sleepy. The weather was sunny and gorgeous with clear blue skies. There was a soft breeze tickling his hair. Far from civilization, there were almost no humans around and only the sounds of nature could be heard. It was all making him feel very lazy. Just as he finished debating whether to take a nap—the answer was yes—he heard someone approach.
And his good mood was ruined when he saw who it was. "Get up," Levi said. "We begin training soon."
"I'll be there." Eren waved his hand dismissively.
"Don't be late."
"Or what? You'll beat me up again? You know, you can try and dress yourself up in military uniforms and wear some fancy cravat but it won't hide your true colors or change the fact that you're still nothing more than Underground trash."
Levi left without another word. Eren felt a twinge of guilt. Was he being too hard on him? The ass-kicking had saved his life in the long run. Levi hadn't meant for him to die. The lack of apology reminded him of why he was still angry. Eren was ready to let go of what had happened at the trial. Only if that rude little jerk apologizes.
When Eren reached the training area, his squadmates were already present. Bored, he listened to Levi explain what exercises they were doing and what maneuvers to practice before breaking them up into pairs. Eren ran over Petra. "Hey, partner." He ignored Oluo grumbling about how Eren was always paired with her.
"Do you remember the demonstration I showed you yesterday? Think you're ready to try it or do you want to see it again?"
Eren considered that for a moment. "Guess it couldn't hurt to see it again." He preferred not to go splat against a tree. Of course, he had to at least once, as he flew during training, yell: "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's—"
Eld had to stop him from being impaled by branches and Petra and Gunther reamed him out good afterward. But it was still worth it, he thought.
Two hours later, they were having lunch at the courtyard, discussing maneuvers and strategies. "I have a question." Eren raised his hand. Levi looked wary and Eren had to hold back a smirk. "It's not about any techniques. It's about my Titan."
"Did I hear Titan?" Hange suddenly appeared like a wild Pokemon.
"We're doing maneuver training with the Titan dummies after lunch, right? I was hoping to get permission to transform."
Levi's brow furrowed. "Why?"
"For training," he said slowly like it was obvious and Levi was an idiot for asking. "Why fight fakes when you have the real deal? Anyway, I gotta practice fighting in that form. I'm the only one who can stop the Armored Titan. No offense but what can you guys do against him?"
"Humanity has been fighting Titans long before we had a Shifter," Gunther said defensively.
"Not an armored one. And you've been getting your butts kicked before I came along. And you gotta admit, after practicing with my fast, smart Titan, beating the slow stupid ones out there will be a walk in the park. You can get more experience without putting anyone at risk. Or serious risk. There's always a risk of injury involved."
"He does make a valid point, Captain," Eld said, taking his side.
Hange sighed, elbows on the table. "The government won't approve of Eren training with us as a Titan. One accident, a small transformation, can be forgiven once but no more."
"We're not recruits, we're the best soldiers humanity has," Petra pointed out. "If we can't handle him then what's the point of putting him in our care?"
"It would be an extremely effective method of training," Levi admitted. "But we have to be careful. We can't defy the Royal Government or we risk losing Eren to the MPs."
"The government is full of stupid chickenshits," Eren grumbled. From their startled reactions, he remembered freedom of speech wasn't really a thing there. "We have a private training ground of our own. Who's going to tell them? And you can always lie and say it was an accident."
"Too many accidents and they'll think you're out of control and too dangerous to be allowed to live," Levi warned.
"I think Eren's right. If you're there, Levi, overseeing it, it could work." Eren could almost see the gears spinning behind Hange's eyes. "Actually," she said, leaning in close and lowering her voice, not that anyone else was around to overhear, "we say we gave permission once just to test the theory of what is required of him to transform. It's an easy sell because if Eren ever defects, we can stop him because we know what we need to do to stop him."
The government had to see and accept the logic and benefits in that, paranoid as they were about him.
"And once he's a Titan, your squad can engage him and there's a pretty good chance they can beat him. Then we'll be able to tell Chief Zackly we have more than one soldier capable of stopping a wild Shifter. If your squad can prove they can handle Eren's Titan on their own, I'm sure we can get permission for Eren to maybe transform more often."
That might work. Eren thought. "The expedition is the real test. Once I pass it, I can transform whenever and how much ever I want, right?"
"I wouldn't go that far. You'll still need permission. But yeah," Levi said, exchanging a look with Hange that Eren didn't miss, "we'd have more freedom allowing you to transform."
It was nearly midnight when Eren opened his eyes and pushed the blanket aside. Quiet as a mouse, he exited his cell. It had been child's play, filching the key from Oluo. He never used it as it was almost always Petra who locked him in the cell at night or unlocked the cell in the morning. He would return it in the morning before Oluo had a chance to miss it.
Squeezing the black marker in his hand, he had to fight the urge to giggle, the reaction caused by both the mischief he was up to and his nerves. A loud growling noise broke the silence. He touched his stomach, debating whether to grab a snack. Food first, Eren decided.
Hushed voices came from the kitchen and he slowed. The light from a candle seeped into the hallway. Who could be up at this hour? Curiosity got the better of him when he recognized Petra's voice.
"...noticed it."
"Have you now." That was Levi's voice.
Eren could only imagine one reason for the two of them to be sneaking around after dark. He promptly did a one-eighty, unwilling to see or hear anything that might traumatize him and make him wish for brain bleach. He would never be able to look Petra in the eye again.
"What happened at the trial?"
That halted him mid-step. He had told her his lips were sealed because of the confidentiality order and had wondered if she would do it. She's actually confronting him about it. Eren's strained his ears, curious to see if or how Levi would respond. And tell the whole story if he did. The man had spent the past two weeks acting like it hadn't happened, pissing Eren off. Eren wanted to know what Levi was thinking.
"Why would you think something happened?" Levi dodged the question.
"If anyone else spoke or behaved the way he did with you, you'd have knocked their teeth out for sure and made them clean up the mess afterward. And when I asked why he's always so rude to you, he told me outright he was under a confidentiality order not to say a word. So something did happen. He wants to tell me but he can't. That's why I'm asking you because it's getting ridiculous."
Levi was silent.
C'mon, jerk. Eren frowned. Or do you not have the balls to tell her?
"Even Oluo's picking up on the hostility between you and Eren. We can't be a team if two of us hate each other's guts."
"I don't hate him," Levi replied, and surprisingly, he sounded sincere.
"Then what's the problem?"
"At the trial..."
Eren leaned in a bit more. Was he actually telling her?
"We had to use some violent measures to get custody of him. To show we were capable of handling him I had to viciously beat him down like an animal that needed to be broken so we could control him."
Eren's jaw clenched, feeling a roll of anger at being equated to an animal.
"I haven't known Eren that long," Petra began, "but I don't think he's the type to hold a grudge over that. He must know and understand the reasons. It's not like you did it for fun."
That's right, Petra! Eren cheered silently. Don't let him get away telling only half the story.
"After Chief Zackly accepted Erwin's proposal, we carried Eren away from the courtroom. Six minutes later, Erwin, Mike, and I were talking when Hange realized Eren wasn't unconscious. He wasn't healing. At some point, we don't know when, he had stopped breathing."
"What?" Petra sounded horrified. "He died?"
Eren hoped she was looking at him in disgust and anger. If he walked in there right now and slugged the asshole, he would bet it wouldn't hurt Levi nearly as much as a disgusted look from Petra.
"What about his regeneration ability?"
"It didn't work. Hange performed CPR and managed to revive him. We rushed him to a hospital and he underwent surgery. The doctors saved him and told Erwin and Hange there was very little chance of him coming out of his coma."
"He was in a coma?"
"Erwin had Chief Zackly give permission for his friends to visit him. They found him awake and fully healed before Erwin could tell them what had happened. Eren didn't want them to know and Erwin agreed to keep quiet."
Eren was dying to sneak a peek but he'd get spotted for sure.
"It's why he hates me. Not that I blame him."
Was that why Levi never snapped back at him? Eren frowned, deep in thought. Because he thinks I was right to hate him? Why not just apologize?
"Forgive me, Captain Levi, but I still don't understand. Why would he hold so much contempt for you?"
"I killed him, Petra. Even if I didn't mean to."
It was the first time Eren had heard him speak with something akin to guilt.
"He still agreed to join the squad. He never brings it up—"
"Except," Petra interrupted and said pointedly, "when he's being an ass to you and harasses you like a jerk."
Eren flinched. It sounded so bad when she said it. She makes me sound like a bully.
"He did what was best for him, and for humanity, even if it meant putting up with me. I thought he wouldn't be comfortable around me. So it would be best if I kept my distance and gave him his space."
"Let me get this straight, you have let him get away with being ill-mannered, let him insult you, overlooked his immaturity—like today during training—and tried to minimize your presence around him, so basically everything but apologize."
"Aside from making snide comments, he never brings up the trial. And it's not just because of the orders. I think he genuinely does not want to bring it up. So I don't either."
Seriously? That was why? What is up with this guy? Levi should have known to still try and apologize at least once. You don't just ignore something like that.
"Eren's a straight-forward person. Why don't you try saying you're sorry? Because obviously everything else you've done so far has done nothing but antagonize him further. No offense, Captain Levi, but I don't see how you can possibly make things any worse."
"I guess." Levi paused before saying, "He likes you. I overheard him once saying you reminded him of his mother."
"Is that why you always put us together?"
Oluo was right. There was favoritism at work there. Dammit. Eren felt somewhat ashamed of himself for calling Levi a low-life worm and Underground trash and a dozen other names under the sun. Maybe Levi wasn't as big an asshole as he'd thought.
It came as no surprise the following day when Petra told him Levi wanted to see him in his office. "Don't go running your mouth like you usually do. Listen to what he has to say," Petra said sternly before he went in. "Reserve your judgment until after he finishes."
"Yes, Mother." He rolled her eyes, her hovering reminding him of his mom.
Levi was sitting on a couch and Eren took a seat across from him. "You wanted to see me? Sir."
"Look, I need to tell you something. Something I should have done weeks ago."
Eren was tempted to be snarky. But Levi was making a genuine effort. "I'm listening," he said neutrally. He doesn't waste time getting to the point, at least, he thought when Levi jumped right into it.
"At the courtroom, I only beat you and said all those things because it was part of the plan. I took no pleasure punching and kicking a tied down fifteen-year-old boy. It was to save your life, and for the good of humanity."
Yeah, I know. All you had to say was sorry. Eren thought, keeping his face expressionless.
"You might not believe me, but I am sorry for what happened. You died because of my negligence. I do regret it. You're alive and well now but I am still tormented by what happened. I'm responsible for pushing you too far, for being careless. And for that, I'm sorry, Eren," he said plainly and honestly.
That was all Eren wanted so he was more than happy to put the bad blood between them to rest. But he hadn't expected to feel this guilty after listening to Levi apologize to him.
"Thanks," he finally replied, looking off to the side. "I appreciate that." Eren saw Levi's shoulders lose some tension in his peripheral vision.
It was so awkward now. Great.
How am I supposed to get out of this? Why did the stupid TV always change to a different scene in these kinds of awkward situations? He felt so ill-prepared now.
Eren stood up suddenly, ready to get out of there and put the whole thing behind him. He stopped at the door, turning to look at Levi, face set in determination. "Don't feel too bad. I gave up. I decided not to fight and didn't put up any resistance. I wanted to die. It's not completely on your shoulders. I was just pissed you never apologized and acted like nothing happened. Let's just bury this now."
Eren left it at that, not waiting to see his reaction. But Levi had to be grateful for his forgiveness. Eren was hoping it would earn him some points.
It'll be nice to have approval from Mikasa's only relative before I marry her. He smiled stupidly. Even thinking about her made him happy and he hummed cheerily as he walked.
Now that he could no longer be antagonistic toward Levi, Eren did not know how to behave around him. So he decided to continue being a smartass and harass him, albeit without malicious intent. No different than how he irritated Oluo. Petra easily noticed the lack of anger, and offensive names, and was clearly pleased. As was Hange when Eren had muttered a thank you to Levi for the tea, earning him a raised eyebrow then a smile from the scientist.
"What did Chief Zackly say?" Levi asked, taking his seat at the head of the table.
Hange gave him a thumbs-up. "We're good to go."
Eren was eager to get back in his Titan form. "I can't wait to fight you all."
"How about some reservation?" Gunther said. "We are the most elite squad in the Survey Corps. We won't be easy foes like other Titans."
"And neither will I," Eren challenged.
"Either way," Eld said, sounding eager, "it'll be an interesting experience."
"We'll go to the eastern forest tomorrow afternoon," Levi told them. "The other Scouts know that's where we'll be so they're ordered not to be anywhere in the vicinity."
The following day, Petra and Eren walked toward their destination. "I've never seen you fully transformed," she said.
"I'm pretty epic," Eren bragged, not at all modest. "I'm like the apex Titan."
"Cocky, are we?" Eld joined them. "We'll see soon enough how deserving that arrogance is."
They hurried over to where the rest of the team was waiting.
Levi went right to it. "For the purpose of this training exercise, Hange will be observing from the trees." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.
"Good luck." Hange waved and moved up to a sturdy branch. Eren squinted and watched her pull out a small notebook and pen for observations. "I'm ready!"
Levi pulled out his blades and the others followed suit. "We'll get in position now. Eren, transform when you're ready." He and the rest of the squad moved further away, giving him room to do his thing.
The trees were thick and tall and spaced far enough for his massive body to run through easily. Eren studied the forest floor. Leaves, dirt, and dried branches covered the thick soil. Sunlight filtered through the gaps in the treetops, revealing a bright shining sun in the azure sky. The trees weren't thick enough to hide his frame so sneaks attacks were out. Still, he had other things to work with.
Eren loved transforming into a Titan. From the sound of the explosion to the lightning to how flesh wrapped around him and he suddenly shot up.
Rogue rotated his neck and stretched his arms, ignoring Hange's cries of delight.
Squad Levi attacked without warning. Rogue winced, feeling the stinging from several cuts. Cheaters! They didn't say ready, set, go! The Titan quickly turned and ran off, one hand covering his nape. They're fast. He watched them from the corner of his eye.
Gunther and Eld suddenly dove down, flying parallel to the ground, intending to cut his Achilles' tendons and he jumped to avoid the attack. Seconds later, Petra and Oluo came in from above and he quickly lunged to the side. Like a flock of birds, they changed direction to follow him as he scrambled to his feet. Levi was hanging back for the most part and Eren decided to ignore him for now.
Rogue weaved through the trees, trying to make it harder for them to follow him, but they kept up with him. Alright then. He stopped suddenly, sliding a little, and spun on his feet, throwing a punch their way. The squad scattered and came right for him, causing him to duck and roll before springing to his feet and taking off in the opposite direction. Heart pumping fast in his chest, Eren studied his surroundings and found a tree, half-fallen over. Picking it up, he hurled it their way.
They cried out in surprise, trying to move out of the way. It hit Gunther's wire, causing him to smack into a tree. Eren winced but took off once he saw Levi nearing Gunther to help him.
Suddenly, Oluo was in front of him and he cursed. Rogue bent back to avoid the attack and barely managed to right himself before Eld and Petra came for him. Eld sliced off the muscles at the junction between his forearm and upper arm, leaving his left arm below the elbow hanging uselessly. His right leg also hurt from Petra's quick slashes.
He could hear the sound of the 3D gear behind him and knew it had to be Levi. C'mon on arm, hurry up and heal! Rogue reached out and plucked Petra's wire with his right hand and heard it snap, letting it go and leaving her hanging from the other wire. That's right. They aren't used to Titans going for their wires. Unless the wires were right in front of their faces, the mindless Titans tended to focus on the humans. Eld came for him again and Rogue ducked, grabbing his wires and ripping them out, sending him into some thick branches.
A feeling of pride surged in him. He had found one of their flaws, a weakness he could exploit. But he'd only had a second to celebrate before his left knee gave out, sending him to the ground with a cry. There was a green blur and suddenly, he couldn't use his right arm. Dammit, it's the hobbit! Thinking quickly, he lay flat on the ground on his back. Levi continued to shear muscles around his body and he growled in pain. But at least his weak point was covered.
Rogue's eyes widened when he saw Levi coming straight for his face. He threw out his now healed left arm but Levi managed to dodge the swipe. Rogue sat up and covered his nape and began to move, much slower now. He had to quickly think of a way to get rid of Levi. What kind of tricks could he use that the captain wouldn't see coming?
An idea came to him. His wounds burned from the pain, distracting him slightly. What's taking so long? He focused on his right arm. Hurry up and heal! Rogue continued to run wildly, ducking around trees, focusing primarily on avoiding Levi until he was fully healed.
Fuck it, I can't wait any longer. This is good enough. Rogue came to a sudden stop and charged toward Levi. He swung his arms around wildly. But Levi was careful in not letting him snatch his wires. Roaring in anger and impatience, Rogue continued to whip his arms around madly to keep him at bay. Then, without warning, he dropped to the ground and swept out his leg, destroying the base of the tree.
"Shit!" Levi cursed as he was suddenly yanked down by the falling tree.
I got him! Eren cheered internally. Having seen him going after the others' wires, he had hoped Levi would expect him to try the same tactic with him. As planned, Levi had not predicted he would go for one of the trees he had anchored his wire to instead.
Rogue lunged for him but the captain sent the blades in his swords flying right into the Titan's eyes. Motherfucker! He screamed in pain, head back, hands automatically clutching his face. He bent forward, feeling the blood running down his cheeks and through his fingers. The pain was awful.
Eren had barely finished the thought—Protect the nape!—before he felt the skin on the back of his neck being sliced open.
"I was so close," Eren moaned as Petra propped him up against a tree. His muscles felt weak and spaghetti-like and he couldn't keep himself sitting upright without support.
"You still bested us," Eld admitted grudgingly.
"Yes! You were beautiful!" Hange swooned.
"But the hob—Captain Levi still beat me," he complained.
"You didn't honestly think you could beat him, did you?" Oluo asked.
"For a second there, I did."
"You did come close." Gunther sighed, arms folded. "I can't believe I went down first."
"I didn't see that coming, you going for the tree instead of the wires," Levi said almost grudgingly.
Eren turned to Petra. "Do my ears deceive me or was that a compliment?"
"I do believe it was," she said with a small laugh.
"So you admit I outsmarted you." Eren smiled smugly at Levi, who just rolled his eyes.
"That's not what I meant."
"It was genius!" Hange cheered, wavering her arms. "Other intelligent Titans like the Armored or the Colossal could try similar tactics."
I don't see how. Eren thought. Their bodies were so different. The tricks he used were only useful for a Titan similar to his, fast, muscular, and human-like one.
"With this training exercise," Hange went on, "we know what things we need to work on to be able to fight the likes of them."
"Really?" Eren was skeptical. One enormous and none of their weapons could even put a scratch on the other one.
Petra spoke, misunderstanding him. "We're the best when it comes to the regular and even Abnormal Titans. It's incredibly helpful to know what our weaknesses are so when we have to fight the intelligent ones, we can better protect ourselves and help you take them down."
"I'm exhausted," Eren yawned. He wasn't that tired, but he had some chores to do and wanted to wiggle out of them to take a nap instead.
"Of course," Hange said. "Turning into a Titan takes a huge toll on your human body."
Levi nodded. "If you pass the test, we'll see if we can get Chief Zackly to allow you to transform more under careful supervision."
"I can't use my Titan to the best of its abilities unless I practice and see what else I can do."
Hange perked up. "You think you can do something special? Like an ability?"
"Maybe. I won't know until I try." Eren was hoping his Titan had some badass ability.
"I noticed something interesting." Hange flipped through her little notebook. "The wounds on your arms healed faster than they should have. But then the rest of your injuries were slower."
"He made them healer faster?" Levi asked in interest. "Do you remember anything, Eren? Any clues on how you did that?"
Eren frowned, thinking back. "I felt impatient. I guess I was willing it to healer faster." He wanted to say it was kind of like how when you might be sitting in traffic and you try to get the lights to turn green. But they wouldn't understand that example.
"I think you can prioritize an injury and make it heal faster if you concentrate. As a result, your other wounds take longer to heal."
"Well, that's lame," Eren said in disappointment. "I wanna have a cool ability. Not some pansy-ass healing one cut a little faster ability."
"It could be the difference between succeeding or failing, between life or death out there," Levi said seriously.
"It's still lame."
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