1. It's very important to me that the relationships I portray in my writing are healthy and mutual. As you know, however, I currently don't broach any content above PG-13 (just ain't my thing). So allow me to give you a rundown of consent! For one, consent does not just apply to sexual intimacy - consent can apply to any aspect of your life/relationships (ex. if someone wants a hug, but you don't want to hug them, you can refuse to consent and thus not give them a hug; there's nothing wrong with that!). But in terms of sexual intimacy, RAINN defines consent as this: "Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent should be clearly and freely communicated." Generally speaking, consent is a decisive, well-discussed "yes" from both parties. A lack of a "no" is NOT consent. If one party is a minor or is intoxicated/otherwise incapacitated, they CANNOT give consent. If someone is forced to say "yes," that is NOT consent. Furthermore, giving consent one time does NOT mean you have given consent for future activities; consent must be established each and every time. Consent can also be revoked at any point; there is nothing wrong with changing your mind and letting your partner know you want to stop. When it comes to consent, remember FRIES: consent is Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific! (Information condensed from soyouwanttotalkabout on Instagram and RAINN.)
2. Sexual violence resources, whether you want to educate yourself or are seeking assistance: RAINN, NSVRC, 1in6, VictimConnect, and the National Sexual Assault Hotline in the US at (800) 656-4673.
Bonjour vous-autres! This chapter is a soft one, and probably one of my favorites. Also,, I cannot believe we've only got ten chapters left (well, nine and an epilogue). I mean, WHAT?! That blows my mind. I appreciate y'all's support more than I can say, and I sincerely hope you stick around until the end of this story. Enjoy the chapter!
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Rayla: do you want me to wear black?
Callum: if you want. my mom never cared much about that stuff
Rayla: okay. see you soon
If Callum was being honest, he hadn't even considered wearing black to visit his mother's grave. He was focused on just being able to - able to speak to her and Rayla at the same time. It was probably ridiculous and unnecessary and pointless, but… he still wanted to do it. It was important to him, for reasons he didn't - no, couldn't fully articulate.
He did end up wearing a nice black shirt beneath his typical blue jacket, though try as he might, Callum couldn't bring himself to wear slacks. He didn't want to look too formal, especially because he'd just told Rayla that she didn't have to wear black if she wasn't comfortable with it.
Callum was nervous, to say the least. For one, it had been a long time since he'd visited his mom's grave. Harrow tried to organize it so they went once every year or two, most often at or around her birthday because that was when Aunt Amaya tended to be in town. That meant it had been well over 700 days since Callum had last visited. He wondered if his stepdad had planned a trip to the cemetery this year, or if he'd pushed it back to late December so they could visit with Amaya as they usually did, seeing as she'd already flown out of town. Or wait - wasn't she returning in January because of the possibility of the championship? Would they not visit until the new year, then?
Ugh. He'd just play it by ear.
Also, Callum was more than a little anxious to talk about KSU's exchange program with Xadia University. Sure, he was pretty confident on a personal level that he wanted to apply, but there was really no one else's opinion he cared about more than Rayla's. And if she didn't want him to apply, then he wouldn't. He knew that there was a chance Runaan's… er, negativity was still weighing heavy on her mind. The only thing he wanted from her was honesty, favorable or no.
Callum wound up so caught in his thoughts that he ended up leaving for Rayla's dorm later than he'd planned. As per usual, Rayla was already waiting outside when he arrived, her hair blowing in the chilly early-December wind.
"Three minutes late," Rayla said appraisingly as she climbed into the passenger seat. "Are you feeling okay, Callum?"
He could hear the concern in her voice, though she layered teasing amusement over it. He nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. "Yep. All good."
Rayla's gaze softened. He noticed as she buckled in that she had a bouquet of pink carnations and lilies with her. To place on his mother's grave, he realized a second later. "This is really important to you," Rayla explained, not missing how his gaze followed the flowers as she rested them on her lap. Her words were a statement, not a question. She placed a hand on his knee. "Thank you for asking me to come. It means a lot."
Was it weird that her sincerity almost made him want to cry? "Thank you for agreeing." Callum leaned forward, cupping her face with his right hand to capture her lips in a slow, tender kiss. He'd never been great at conveying his feelings through words, and he hoped his action said everything he didn't know how to. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Rayla chuckled, reaching to move his bangs out of his face. "You'd manage. But your life would be far more miserable without me in it."
Callum couldn't help but laugh as he turned back to face the steering wheel, glancing up at the rearview mirror while he backed out of his parking spot. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
His mom's grave was in a cemetery near the outskirts of town, about an hour trip there and back. Not that he and Rayla had any trouble passing that time - he was pretty sure they griped about finals for fifteen minutes straight on the way there. Truly the college experience at its finest.
Every so often, usually whenever they stopped at red lights, Rayla would show him a meme or an Instagram post from one of their friends. Emilé had posted a massive rant on their spam about a quote 'Karen' who had not understood that to have the floors in her house cleaned, she needed to provide the cleaning service her address, because she couldn't exactly bring the floors to them, could she?!
Poor Emilé. Callum didn't think he'd ever be able to work in retail or customer service.
"Hey," Rayla asked when they were about ten minutes away. "Can you… tell me what your mom was like?"
Callum glanced at her in surprise before quickly returning his attention to the road. "Oh - uh, sure. If you really want to know."
Rayla rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't really want to know, Callum."
"Right. Of course. That makes sense." He absentmindedly tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "Well, she and Aunt Amaya served in the military together. They were only a year or two apart, so Aunt Amaya says when they were little they were always at each other's throats, and then once they got older, they were closer than anyone."
Rayla chuckled. "Does that mean you and Ezran will be at each other's throats when you're older, since you're so close right now?"
Callum sent her a disapproving look. "Don't you dare suggest Ez and I will ever grow apart." She snickered again before he continued. "Anyways. My mom had a massive sweet tooth, just like Ez. Her favorite kind of jelly tart was one that had poppy seed and honey. It was always too sweet for me, but Ezran loves them almost as much as she did." Callum knew a smile was inching onto his face. He didn't mind. "She was also really opinionated. And she was never afraid to share those opinions, either. She loved getting the last word. In her defense, she was usually right about whatever she was arguing."
"Hmm, sounds like a certain sad prince I know," Rayla mused before not-so-slyly winking at him. "But do continue."
Callum rolled his eyes at her teasing, though he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "Anyways. She also loved horseback riding. She'd always wanted to own a horse, but when we had to move further into the city because Harrow was appointed head of KSU, she said that she'd 'make do with visiting a horse park twice a month' instead."
Rayla nodded. "She sounds like she was able to adapt to change pretty easily."
"Yep." Callum had always wished he'd inherited that particular gift from her.
Rayla hesitated, then added, "I was wondering… is today a special day? Like, related to your mom? An anniversary or something?"
"Uh…" Callum shook his head. "If it is, I don't know it. I mean, her birthday is tomorrow, but that's coincidental." He could feel his grip on the steering wheel unconsciously tighten. "I… I don't really have a specific reason for choosing to visit her today, if that's what you're getting at." Besides them both not having any morning classes, that was. "It just… felt right." Plus, he knew that if he postponed talking about the exchange program any longer, he might explode.
Rayla gave him a soft smile. "That's okay. You don't need to bend over backwards explaining yourself to me. If today is right, then it's right. That's enough of a reason in my book."
Callum couldn't help but give her a grateful - and relieved - smile. "How did I get so lucky as to have the most amazing girlfriend in the world?"
Rayla laughed. "You wouldn't believe it, but I ask the same thing every day about my amazing boyfriend. Funny how that works, huh?"
They arrived at the cemetery a minute or so later. There were only two other cars in the parking lot. Not that the lack of visitors was particularly surprising to Callum. It was still early in the morning, and it was a cold, overcast December day. Not the most picturesque time to visit a loved one's grave.
Callum made sure he had his satchel and sketchbook before he got out of the car, and he retrieved a blanket from the trunk after doing so. He slipped his free hand into Rayla's as they entered the cemetery beneath the rusted white gate, which creaked as the wind opened and closed it.
"Sorry for choosing a day with miserable weather," Callum said with an embarrassed smile as they headed to the back. "I probably should have checked the weekly forecast. But my mom's grave is near a tree, so I think we'll be partially shielded from the wind."
Rayla chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind the breeze." Her statement was only reinforced by the fact that the black jumper she wore had no sleeves, though she did have a cardigan tied around her waist, presumably for the off chance she did get cold.
They spread the blanket on the ground in front of Sarai's grave. Her headstone was simple, as she'd never really been someone for unnecessarily-grand design. There was a relatively fresh bouquet of flowers lying next to it, and Callum wondered if his aunt had chosen to stop by on her own before she'd flown out of Katolis earlier in the week.
They sat down on the blanket, and Rayla placed her bouquet to the side. Callum took his sketchbook out of his bag before opening it to a picture he'd drawn of his mother and resting it against the headstone. It felt… well, definitely a little bit silly, but he preferred talking to a sketch of her much more than he did talking to her name engraved in a hunk of marble.
Callum promptly realized he had no idea where he wanted to begin.
Rayla seemed to pick up on his anxiety, as she placed her hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Whenever you're ready went unspoken, although he could have sworn he heard the words clear as day.
"Hi, Mom," he finally said, feeling some of the stiffness ease from his shoulders just by allowing himself to speak those first two words. "I brought someone to visit you with me today. Someone you've never met before." He glanced at his girlfriend, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "Her name is Rayla. She's… She's one of the most important people in my life. We've been dating for…" He tilted his head as he quickly went over the semester in his mind, not wanting to incorrectly estimate how long they'd been together. "Almost three months? Exactly three months in a few days, I think." Huh. Their three-month anniversary almost fell exactly on his mom's birthday. Maybe the coincidence was a sign from the universe that she approved?
Rayla nodded as he'd pondered over the dates, reassuring him that he hadn't miscounted.
Callum found himself smiling at her before he turned back to face the picture of his mother. "You'd love her, Mom. Rayla's smart, strong, funny, ridiculously talented at everything she tries… And she's never given up on me. About anything." He chuckled. "She also doesn't put up with my bullshit. I know you'd appreciate that, since Aunt Amaya says you never put up with Dad's bullshit, either." And that went for both of his dads. He glanced at Rayla again. "Not to mention she's the most beautiful person in the world. Like, all the time. Completely effortless."
Rayla flushed. "Callum -"
"I'll go pick her up from football practice, and she'll have just changed out of her uniform, yet she still takes my breath away every time." Ha, Callum loved how cute his girlfriend looked when she was flustered. But he supposed he'd let her off with only light teasing. "Also, I should have said this in the beginning, but she's an awesome football player. I think the only person who might be better than her is Soren, but that's not really a fair comparison because he's quarterback and she's a wide receiver, which are very different positions." He shook his head. "Anyways. My point is that she's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I know you'd love her as much as I do."
Rayla rolled her eyes, still blushing. "To be fair, my great stats are only possible because Soren is such a good quarterback. So it's a team effort."
"She's just being modest," Callum said in a mock-whisper, earning another eye roll from his girlfriend. "Rayla is head and shoulders above every other wide receiver in the country."
Rayla laughed, gently elbowing his arm. "You'd better stop before you inflate my ego so much I float away."
Callum snickered before he returned his focus to the sketch of his mom. "Anyways. Like I said - Rayla is the most amazing person I've ever met." His hand that wasn't beneath Rayla's tightly clenched the blanket they were sitting on. "She… She makes me feel good about the world and my place in it. It's hard to explain, but she does. And…" He turned to look at his girlfriend, his heart seizing in his chest as he found himself completely overwhelmed by her presence. "And I love her. So much. I really, really do."
Rayla stared at him, then used her free hand to wipe away the beginnings of tears from her eyes. "Stupid prince," she murmured affectionately before she turned to look at the picture of his mother. "And I love Callum, too. So much." She rested her head on his shoulder. "You'd be so proud of him, Miss Sarai. Callum is the smartest, kindest, and dorkiest person I've ever known. Which are all compliments, before he starts trying to complain about the last one."
Actually, he had not been going to complain about being called dorky. How rude of her to assume so.
Okay. Maybe that was a lie. But he hadn't been going to complain much.
"He's always there for me, even when I'm acting like a major jerk." Rayla laughed. "He's genuinely just the most selfless and supportive person I know. It's incredible."
Callum knew his face was growing red. "I think you're exaggerating a little bit -"
"Shh!" she interrupted, making a zipping motion across her lips. "It's my turn to brag about you. This is not up for debate."
Well, he knew better than to argue with her.
"As I was saying, Callum is amazing. He's the most talented artist in all of Katolis. Probably in the whole world! I bet you knew how good he was going to get after you saw what he was able to do as a kid, but I still feel like he's a hundred times better than anyone could have imagined. He's definitely going to be famous someday."
Callum rolled his eyes. He was not that good, flattering as it was to hear.
"He's also super smart in every subject, even if he says he's awful at English," Rayla continued. "And if it weren't for him, I'd probably have flunked out of calculus by now. But even though he's the most brilliant person to ever exist, he never brags or acts arrogant or anything like that, so…" A soft smile formed on her lips. "You and Professor Harrow definitely raised him well." He felt her grip on his hand suddenly tighten - not enough to be painful, but enough that it was impossible not to notice. "Also… Callum always stays by my side. Even people are - are the worst, basically… he never leaves me to face it alone. So he's smart, kind, and caring. I… I trust him more than anyone else." She took a deep breath. "What I'm getting to is… thank you. I don't know if he'd be my friend right now if he hadn't had a mother like you."
God, Callum should have brought some tissues. At least the constant blowing of the wind kept his face dry. "There's something else I wanted to talk about, too," he said after a pause, turning his hand over on the blanket to properly intertwine his fingers with his girlfriend's. "Rayla is from Xadia, Mom."
His girlfriend stiffened, lifting her head from his shoulder. He gave her hand a comforting squeeze.
"I feel like the first time you heard that, it might come as a shock," Callum admitted. "But I know you aren't the kind of person to let your first impression of someone set the forever standard for how you judge their character. And you'd realize - probably really quickly - that she's the most incredible person in the world, regardless of the fact that she's Xadia. Only…" He took a deep breath. This was it. No backing out now. "It does matter that she's Xadian. It matters because people - people from Katolis - treat her differently as a result. It matters because being Xadian, being a Moonshadow, is an important part of her. It matters because… because she's gone through so much at KSU, and even though she shouldn't have to and it's not fair that she has, she's still found a silver lining each time. Rayla is Xadian, and - and I love that about her." Callum turned to face his girlfriend, taking both of her hands in his own. "Rayla, I want to go to Xadia with you next year. I can apply for the same exchange program you did, and if I get accepted, I'll spend my sophomore year at Xadia University. I know this is something I want to do. But your opinion matters to me more than anyone else's. So." He gave her a tentative smile. "Do you want me to apply?"
Rayla was staring at him in utter shock, and part of him was worried that she hadn't processed a single word he'd said. "Is… Is this a joke?" she finally managed to say. "Are - Are you serious right now? You really want to come to Xadia? With me? Even though Runaan…" She didn't finish her final sentence. Not that she needed to.
Callum couldn't help but laugh. "No, it's not a joke. I've been researching the application for weeks. Yes, I really want to go to Xadia University with you. I don't care what Runaan thinks. So if you say the word… I'll apply."
Sheer excitement lit up on Rayla's face, and God if it wasn't the most beautiful thing Callum had ever seen. "Yes. Yes!" she exclaimed, practically tackling him into a hug. "Please apply! There's - There's so much I could show you, and so many people I want you to meet, and -" She shook her head, cutting herself off before tightening the hug. "We'd have another year together. An entire year."
Callum wrapped his arms around her in response. "Don't get too excited," he teased, almost breathless. "I have to apply first, and even then I might not be accepted."
"Shut up, you dummy," she grumbled, though there was no real anger in her voice. "Let me have this moment."
He chuckled, squeezing her tighter. "I can't wait to spend a year in Xadia with you."
Rayla buried her face in his shoulder. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too," he breathed. He didn't know what else to say. Then again, maybe nothing else needed to be said.
After a long pause, Rayla released him from the hug, reaching up to gently cup his face in her hands. "Your mother really would be so proud of you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. It was nearly lost in the wind.
Callum smiled at her, his hands falling to rest on her waist. "Thank you, Rayla."
And with that… The weight on his shoulders was finally lifted.
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They're so in love it's ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Also, quick PSA: I might have to take a one-off break from updating soon. The next few weeks should be okay, but I might choose to not update the week of finals (so, early December). We'll see, though! Maybe I'll manage my time like a boss and it will work out, lol. I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter! Thank you for reading!
