1. Yesterday, November 20th, was Transgender Day of Remembrance. Transgender Day of Remembrance was started in 1999 by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor the memory of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was killed in 1998. The vigil commemorated all the transgender people lost to violence since Rita Hester's death, and began an important tradition that has become the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. For 2020, GLAAD spotlights the following victims in America, many of whom are transgender women of color (and they further note that violent crimes against trans people are often misreported, go underreported, or are not reported at all): Yunieski Carey Herrera, Angel Unique, Sara Blackwood, Brooklyn Deshuna, Felycya Harris, Michelle Michellyn Ramos Vargas, Mia Green, Aerrion Burnett, Kee Sam, Lea Rayshon Daye, Aja Raquell Rhone-Spears, Queasha D Hardy, Dior H Ova / Tiffany Harris, Marilyn Cazares, Summer Taylor, Bree Black, Shaki Peters, Merci Mack, Brayla Stone, Brian 'Egypt' Powers, Selena Reyes-Hernandez, Jayne Thompson, Riah Milton, Dominique "Rem'mie" Fells, Tony McDade, Helle Jae O'Regan, Nina Pop, Penélope Díaz Ramírez, Layla Pelaez Sánchez, Serena Angelique Velázquez Ramos, Johanna Metzger, Lexi, Monika Diamond, Scott/Scottlynn Devore, Yampi Méndez Arocho, Neulisa Luciano Ruiz, and Dustin Parker. We remember their names, and we continue to fight for transgender rights across the globe. (Information condensed from GLAAD.)
In honor of Transgender Day of Remembrance, I would like to remind y'all that three of my major OCs are trans - Professor Nguyen is agender (they/them pronouns), Dominic is a trans man (he/him pronouns), and Emilé is nonbinary (they/them pronouns). Mx. Irene, whom I mentioned in the Halloween chapter, is also nonbinary (xe/xem pronouns). While my story is obviously fictional and lighthearted, violence against trans individuals is a very real and very major issue, so I encourage you guys to take a few minutes out of your weekend to research and see what you personally can do to support the trans community. With that, I hope you enjoy the chapter! (I know I say this every time, lmao, but I think this chapter is one of my favorites.)
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Callum could not thermoregulate. Sometimes he questioned if he was the first cold-blooded mammal, because the second the temperature dropped below 50, he had to bundle up in seven layers or else he'd freeze to death before two minutes passed. Which made it an even funnier twist of fate that his girlfriend was practically a walking space heater. Rayla had once joked that she could change the temperature of a room just by standing in it. Or rather, he'd thought she was joking at the time, but he had since determined that not only had she been dead serious, but what she'd said was true. It didn't seem humanly possible, and yet there she was, radiating warmth like a nuclear power plant.
Regardless, it was because of Callum's inability to thermoregulate that he had on several extra layers as he sat on a bench outside of Acadian Hall waiting for Rayla to complete her women's and gender studies final. His scarf was wrapped around his neck and pulled up over his chin. A thermos of steaming tea rested beside him. He refused to succumb to the cold.
That said, Callum was starting to regret not going inside the building to wait. He just hadn't wanted to risk striking up a conversation with someone he didn't know or only knew in passing. At least outside he could have his headphones in while he studied for his philosophy exam and thus no one would disturb him.
Well, people would be less likely to disturb him.
Callum hoped, at least.
He and Rayla each had one final left to take, both the next day. It would have been two, but since Professor Nguyen had changed their Renaissance History final, they - and Sonya - had turned in their required reflections earlier that week. He knew Claudia still had three exams to go, which she was not happy about, especially because the final two were both on Friday, more importantly known as opening night of Macbeth. She'd tried to arrange it to where she could take those exams early, but her professors had refused, and apparently had been pretty rude in doing so, too.
Callum had thus made a mental note not to take those particular classes as a sophomore. Although, if he was in Xadia next year like he hoped to be, then that wasn't really something he would have to worry about.
He'd started working on his application for the exchange program the day Rayla had confirmed that she wanted him to apply. He'd asked Professor Dup - Professor Nguyen to write one of his required teacher recommendations, but for the other he was torn between asking Harrow and asking his physics professor. Getting his stepdad to write one was probably a bit cheat-y, but to have a glowing recommendation from the head of the college would look damn good on his application, especially considering that Harrow was also a president fairly active in the goings-on of KSU.
That said, Callum also knew there was tremendous value to having a recommendation from both a humanities and a STEM teacher, so that tipped the scales in favor of his physics professor. Not to mention physics was - currently, at least - his major. His physics professor could also better articulate Callum's classroom experiences than Harrow could, since his stepdad had never worked with him in class.
Because of his debilitating indecisiveness, Callum had ultimately focused on the other aspects of the applications, like the section where he had to list his GPA, test scores, and outline awards he'd won, as well as the personal interest questions. He was avoiding the essay, mostly because he hated essays and he was still just plain tired of writing them. He'd only had his poetry final a day ago.
Also, he couldn't deny that he wanted Rayla's help with the essay, too. She was just… so good at writing. It was almost ridiculous. He loved her for it.
Callum shook his head, returning his focus to his philosophy notes. He'd allowed his thoughts to wander for way too long there. He was supposed to be studying, not contemplating literally any other subject in the world.
He did allow himself to quickly check the time on his phone - Rayla still wouldn't be out for another fifteen minutes.
"Callum? Is that you?"
Huh. Had someone just called his name, or was that an unusual part of the Be More Chill soundtrack he'd never noticed before?
Callum looked up, pulling one of his headphones out and blinking in surprise as he realized who it was that had spoken to him. "Soren?" He paused the song that was playing before taking out his other earbud. "What are you doing here?"
Soren gestured vaguely around him, taking his own headphones off and draping them around his neck. "Just going for a jog. Weather's nice. And it's still early enough where there's not too many people around." He shrugged. "You know. Clearing my head a little bit."
He was wearing a muscle shirt and shorts, which seemed to reinforce his jogging explanation as the truth. Not that Callum thought Soren was lying - Claudia had just been trying to get him into true crime podcasts lately. He was starting to question everything.
But beyond his friend's clothing, there was a certain heaviness behind Soren's eyes that Callum was not used to seeing. He tilted his head. "Something important on your mind?"
Soren shrugged again. "Eh. You could say that." He gave him a crooked smile. "It's been a wild first semester for you, hasn't it?"
Callum chuckled. "Well, yeah. You could say that."
Soren shook his head, amused, as Callum flipped his words on him. "Touché." He cleared his throat. "So, have you finished your finals yet? Claudia still has a few."
Callum patted the empty spot next to him on the bench. Soren acknowledged the cue and sat down. "I've finished for today, but Rayla and I each have one more exam tomorrow. Then we'll both be completely done."
Soren nodded. "Nice, nice. I'm sure you'll both ace them."
Callum grinned at him. "I appreciate your confidence in us." He closed his philosophy binder. "What about you? Any finals left?"
Soren shook his head, returning his grin with a broad one of his own. "Nope. Gotta love being a senior when you've scheduled well - less hours, fewer classes, done with finals before everyone else."
Callum laughed. "Right. I get it. That means I have a million more semesters to go before I'll reach that point."
"Maybe, but you'll get there eventually." Soren leaned back onto the bench, pushing his hair out of his face. "Anyways. Enough about finals. Is there anything exciting going on with you?" He snorted. "Wow. We really haven't had a chance to talk in ages, have we?"
Soren was right - they hadn't. For one, the age gap and differing majors between them meant they didn't run into each other on campus often, much less have any classes together. Two, that meant the only time they interacted was at football practice, but even then - Callum wasn't going to lie to himself - he tended to be distracted by his amazingly talented girlfriend.
"Uh… Nothing I can think of off the top of my head?" Callum chuckled. "Yeah, no. I don't get out much."
Soren snorted. "Come on, dude. There's gotta be something. Not even you spend every second of your life studying."
Callum chewed his bottom lip. Because of finals, he kind of had been spending every second studying… or so it felt, anyways. He'd also been talking with Sonya almost every day about Macbeth. Apparently the person who was supposed to run lighting for the show was being a major pain and trying to change her designs for key scenes. Callum was more than willing to let her rant to him. Claudia had offhandedly informed him, too, that she had a group chat with Dominic and Emilé for a similar purpose of complaining about annoying cast members.
"Oh!" Callum snapped his fingers as a lightbulb went off in his mind. "I don't know if you remember me talking to you and Claudia about this ages ago, but I started on my application for the exchange program with Xadia University."
Hell, he was getting close to finishing it, except for the teacher recommendations and the essay. The application was due the first week of January, after all, and he preferred the idea of having submitted it by the end of December. That way he wouldn't need to think about it any longer than necessary. Harrow had also told him that he'd learn if he was accepted or not around the beginning of February. Which Callum had initially thought was a fast turnaround, but his dad had proceeded to remind him of just how much paperwork had to be completed and processed before someone from Katolis could travel to Xadia, and the haste made more sense.
Not to mention it was… unlikely a tremendous amount of students would apply in the first place.
Soren beamed at him, lightly punching his shoulder. "Yo, that's awesome! When you're in Xadia, you'd better take a crap ton of pictures, or else Claudia and I will never forgive you."
Callum laughed. "Wow. Everyone's going to think I'm some sad, pathetic tourist." He paused, then added jokingly, "You know, why don't you come with me? Take a gap year before you join the NFL or go to grad school!"
Soren stroked his chin, apparently taking his comment more seriously than Callum had intended it. "I can't lie, I really am thinking about taking a gap year," he admitted. "I feel like I could use that time to figure out my life without my dad and Clauds - even though I love her - dogging on my heels." Something in his friend's eyes darkened when he mentioned Viren, and Callum couldn't help but wonder what Soren's father had done - or hadn't done - now.
Callum shrugged. "It's your life, Soren. You should do whatever you need." He silently hoped that was the right thing to say.
Soren smiled at him, so it seemed like it was. "Thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence." Then he chuckled. "Still. I don't know if Xadia would be the right place for me to take a gap year. I feel like staying there might only stress me out more."
Callum snickered at that. "Fair point. Maybe you need to go someplace more relaxing. Like a beach."
"Hey, if you can think of somewhere affordable with nice beaches to take a gap year in, let me know." Soren paused, then smirked at him. "Oho. Wait a minute. You're going to have Rayla with you while you're in Xadia." He laughed at Callum's disgruntled expression. "Hey - at least she can scare off anyone who tries to label you as a tourist." Soren's smirk then shifted to a genuine smile. "And congrats to you guys on three months, right?" He frowned. "Wait. No. If it's mid-December, then you're like, halfway between milestones. So… happy late three months and… early four months?"
Callum burst out laughing. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed talking with Soren. "Close enough. Thank you kindly, sir."
"Hold on. I'm curious now. Do you guys do anything for your anniversaries?" Soren asked, again stroking the stubble on his chin. "No judgment either way, of course. I just don't remember either of you mentioning any plans."
Callum had to consider the question before answering. "Sort of," was what he decided on. "We've always spent our anniversaries with each other, but we haven't necessarily done anything big. If that makes sense."
Soren nodded. "Totally valid. Whatever works for you."
Hmm.
Now Callum was…well, tempted to maybe do something more. He knew Rayla didn't particularly care either way - her laid-back attitude was one of many things he adored about her - but since the seed had been planted… "Do you think I should get her something special for our… er, four-month-iversary?"
"That could be cool," Soren affirmed with a nod. His eyes lit up. "Oh, you could even give it to her on New Year's! That's only a couple days before the date of your actual anniversary, right?"
Callum couldn't stop himself from grinning at the thought. "That would be pretty amazing." He chuckled. "Now I just have to figure out what to get her. And then actually buy it." He could always give her one of his sketches because of the 'handmade' element associated with it, but he admittedly gave his art to a lot of people as gifts. So maybe one or two sketches, then, plus something… else?
"You'll think of something," Soren reassured him, pulling Callum out of his thoughts. "And I bet Rayla will love literally anything you get her. You could give her" - he fumbled for words - "like, you could give her a bale of hay and she'd adore it."
Soren's example didn't exactly make Callum less nervous about the prospect, but he appreciated the effort nonetheless.
"Oh, congrats to you, too!" he said, changing the subject. "KSU is going to the playoffs for the first time in… er, ages, right?" He waited for Soren to give an affirming nod before he continued. "Rayla says that every sports station in Katolis is abuzz with how you've led the team to victory after victory this year."
She'd also told him - privately - that Soren's rise to fame meant they were focusing less on her as the 'only Xadian' and 'only girl' on any college team, which she was grateful for. They still talked about her some, of course, but apparently not as much as before, which was good enough for Rayla.
Something akin to frustration flickered across Soren's face. "Right," he said, his voice… stiffer. "Yeah. We're, uh, we're guaranteed a seat in the playoffs because of the difficulty of our schedule, even if we lose the last game this Saturday. It's just down to whether we're given the fourth or first spot in the bracket." He gave Callum a tight smile. "Thanks."
Okay. Callum had clearly struck a sensitive nerve by bringing up football, and he wasn't entirely sure how to address that. Change the subject again? Push the conversation forward? Forget this tangent had ever happened?
No. Soren was his friend. He should be there for him if Soren needed it.
"Did… Is something wrong?" Callum asked tentatively. He hesitated before forcing himself to add, "Something… related to your dad?"
Soren flinched, and Callum knew he'd hit the nail on the head. "Yeah," his friend admitted quietly. "He's just… being himself, really." He chuckled, but his laughter lacked its normal infectious energy. It was… weaker, somehow. "Which kind of makes it worse."
Callum bit his bottom lip. "I understand if it's too personal," he said slowly, "but… you can talk to me about it, you know. If you want to. I've been told that I'm good at listening."
Soren sighed, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. "Let's just say that I can't wait to graduate and get the hell out of here. I'm either leaving Katolis completely or at least moving to another city. I'm done."
It sounded like Soren had been considering a gap year much, much longer than he'd let anyone know.
Callum blinked, somewhat surprised by his friend's intensity. Though the longer he thought about it… maybe he had no reason to be. "Do you… did Viren do something in particular?"
Soren shrugged. "I'd say it's more like the culmination of 22 years of bad parenting, and I just don't want to deal with it anymore." He glanced at Callum, his shoulders sagging. "But… yeah. He did do something." He laughed bitterly. "Actually, I guess it's more what he didn't do. As per usual."
Callum said nothing, simply giving his friend a small nod. Soren deserved to tell him solely of his own accord - he wasn't going to put any unnecessary pressure on him to continue.
Soren sighed again, and he wiped at his eyes with his left hand. "So… you've probably heard this from Claudia or Rayla already, but he's not coming to senior night. Which would have been fine, I guess, because there's at least one more game before my senior season will technically be over. But…" He paused, taking in a sharp breath. "This morning he told me that he can't go to the playoff game. Or the championship one. Because they would require him to fly out of the city. He said he'd 'have to cancel some very important conferences,' and going to my games in person 'just isn't worth it.'"
Callum's stomach sank as realization dawned. "That means… he won't have seen you play a single game. All year."
"Nope." Soren cleared his throat, subtly wiping at his eyes again. Callum's heart panged. "And you know, there's always some reason he can't go to them. Paperwork, conferences, something for Claudia." He stared down at his hands. "And Claudia - she tries so freaking hard to be understanding, you know?" He shook his head. "But she doesn't get it. Dad always seems to make time for her performances and her special events." His fists clenched. "And that's great, because Claudia is amazing. She deserves the world and I'd give it to her in a heartbeat. But…"
Soren shook his head again, his voice growing more bitter and more pained at the same time. "I wish he'd at least try to make it less obvious that he has a favorite. I may not be the smartest guy ever, but I'm not stupid. I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm a burden to my father's picture-perfect family."
He glanced at Callum, eyes widening as if he'd forgotten he was there. "Sorry. I don't - I didn't mean to rant. I know my dad loves me in his" - his fists began to slowly unfurl - "in his own way, I guess. And it's really not a big deal. I just…" He managed a half-hearted laugh. "Get frustrated easily."
Callum hesitated, thinking over his words carefully before he spoke. "Soren… You're not a burden. Your dad's just a dick." The unusual choice of expletive coming from himself earned a snort from his friend. "And - And you say you're not the smartest, but you are smart, Soren! Maybe Viren limits his definition of intelligence to only along the lines of 'book smart,' but that's ridiculously shallow and doesn't even come close to encompassing all the ways a person can be intelligent. You're smart because you're a great football player, because you always know how to make people laugh, because you come up with creative solutions to stubborn problems, and - and because you're an amazing friend. I know you know that already, but…"
Callum placed a hand on Soren's shoulder. "Look. You don't need your dad's approval, Soren. For anything. You're already a hundred times better as a person than he could ever hope to be."
Soren laughed at his comment, though it sounded so close to a sob that Callum's chest ached. "Thanks, Callum." He wiped his eyes. "You're a good friend, too, you know."
Callum hesitated again before moving his philosophy binder off his lap. "Can I… Do you want a hug?"
Soren sniffed, and Callum had to swallow the lump forming in his own throat. "Yeah. That'd be pretty nice."
He wrapped his arms around Soren, who was still for a moment before returning the embrace. It was… maybe a little odd, yes, and maybe a little stiff, too, but amidst the cold December air… Callum knew he'd never felt anything warmer. The expression of relief on Soren's face when he pulled away made Callum realize that he'd hug his friend a hundred times over if it was what he needed.
"Thanks," Soren said, clearing his throat. "For the hug. And - for listening. You didn't have to do any of that."
"You're one of my oldest and closest friends, Soren," Callum reassured him. "You can come to me for anything, and I will be there." He paused before adding, "Also… yes, it sucks that your dad can't" - won't - "go to any of your games. But… My stepdad plans to be there, and so does Aunt Amaya and I think Gren, too, and obviously me and Claudia and Ez, so…" He offered Soren as confident a smile as he could muster. "You'll still have family there supporting you. We may not all be related to you by blood, but we're your family, okay?"
He found his confidence trailing off at the end, and Soren gave him a small but grateful smile. "Thanks, Callum." He chuckled. "You know, you're pretty good at pep talks."
Callum laughed, the air beginning to lighten around them. "Yeah, I think Rayla has told me that before." He shrugged. "I mean, I can't help it that my friends are all super awesome, which makes it ridiculously easy to brag about them."
Soren snorted. "Alright. Now you're laying it on too thick."
Fair enough.
"Either one of you just said my name, or my ego is so big that I just want to assume I'm brought up in all of your conversations."
Callum blinked, turning to see that Rayla was now standing behind him. "I may have mentioned you," he admitted. "But you'll never get to learn what about."
Rayla rolled her eyes, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. "Alright, dorky prince. Keep your secrets." She then grinned at Soren. "Fancy running into you here. Have a nice chat with my boyfriend while I was off taking my final?"
Soren laughed. "Yep. He imparted far more wisdom unto me than you ever have." He smirked at her. "Not that you've set the bar very high, of course."
Rayla whistled. "Wow. I'm surprised your mind could even handle that much new information at once."
Sometimes Callum forgot about how almost-insulting their banter could be. But if it worked for them, who was he to question it?
Soren got to his feet, checking his phone and making sure his headphones were still connected as he did so. "As much fun as it would be to keep chatting with you," he said, still smirking, "I do need to get a move on. To be continued?"
"Obviously," Rayla said, returning his smirk with one of her own as she dropped her left hand to rest on her hip. "Football practice, Claudia's show, or senior night itself?"
"Mm… Let's save it for the big game." He grinned at her. "I want the whole team to witness me absolutely dragging you."
Rayla laughed. "Alright. I can't say I mind the idea of all of our friends watching me epically roast you. Maybe it'll knock you off your pedestal once and for all."
"You wish." Soren winked at her. "Anyways, I really gotta go. See you both at practice!"
"See ya!" Rayla called at the same time as Callum simply said, "Bye!"
Soren laughed at their differing responses, waving as he jogged off.
"So what did you two talk about?" Rayla asked as Callum stood up from the bench, sticking his philosophy binder into his bag.
Callum shrugged, offering her his thermos of tea. She accepted it and took a sip. "Not much. You could say we had a little heart-to-heart."
Rayla raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" She glanced at the direction Soren had jogged away in. "Well, whatever you talked about… I think it helped him."
Callum frowned in confusion as he swung his satchel over his shoulder. "What do you mean?"
"That's the happiest I've seen Soren talking about football in… two weeks, maybe?"
Callum also found himself looking at the direction Soren had gone off in. "Oh." A small smile flitted onto his lips. "Then I'm glad I was able to cheer him up."
Rayla slipped her free hand into his. "Anyways. That's enough of my psychoanalysis." They began walking down the sidewalk together. "Was there anything you had in mind to do today, since we don't have any more exams?"
He laughed. "You mean besides studying for tomorrow?" She gave him a dubious look. "Okay, yes. I was thinking about going to the café." He glanced at his girlfriend, fighting back a grin. "And studying there."
Rayla rolled her eyes. "Of course. I should have known." She squeezed his hand. "Well, as long as we're together, I suppose I can deal with it. Even if all this studying makes me feel like my eyes will fall out."
Callum scoffed. "How morbid." Still… He couldn't keep a smile off his lips.
Things were looking up.
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Honestly this chapter was just a love letter to Soren. Mostly because I love Soren, and he deserves all the love. Also, I should be able to get in at least one more update before I might have to take a break because of finals (ew, finals). I hope y'all have a great weekend! Thank you for reading!
