When Jane woke up the next day, Maura was silently sitting next to her in bed and reading a medical journal. The talk had stalled after the blonde's confession. They had silently stored the rest of the bottles back into the fridge and gone to sleep. Each on her side, awkwardly facing away from each other.
Jane noticed that it was close to 9am when glancing at her phone. "Good morning." She mumbled, stretching her long limbs.
"Good morning." The blonde greeted her.
"Thank you for letting me sleep in." Jane said after a yawn.
"You're welcome. I figured that it was the least I could do, seen as to how I intruded your space." Maura replied.
"I invited you. Remember?" Jane felt odd. It was as if something had somehow broken with their talk last night. The lightness was gone, and Maura gave her a stiff nod.
"Breakfast?" Jane asked in an attempt to bring back some normality.
"Ok." Maura simply said.
R&I
The bus brought them to museum of local history. This time Jane didn't make the mistake to walk away from Maura because she hoped to end up in a surveillance room instead of having to walk around like the last time. They still hadn't talked much since the previous night.
Jane had learned recently that Maura's adoptive family was rich, which enabled them to support a lot of institutions like hospitals, art galleries or museums. Hence the blonde had access to background information and surveillance systems. They settled into the offered chairs and split the twelve monitors into two. Jane was in watch of the left part, Maura of the right.
Their eyes followed their group in mere silence while drinking coffee. The security officer watching them curiously and Jane realized that they must give the impression of friends or lovers who had had a huge fight. At least that was what it felt like to her.
Her eyes quickly darted to Maura to steal a secret glance. The blondes face was completely unreadable. Jane shrugged and looked back at the monitors, but there was nothing suspicious. Everybody was walking around, glancing at the objects and chatting.
She almost asked Maura if they were going to talk about it, but let it be after realizing that she didn't even know what to say. Technically nothing had happened. But the mood between them nagged on her immensely.
On their drive home Jane asked herself if Maura was going to move out of her room. Maybe it would be better her inner voice said. But her heart won over the brain and the thought of being without Maura made her somehow sad.
Once the door to her room was closed behind them she established the connection to Frost while Maura walked out to the terrace in order to read. She was still ignoring Jane.
Janes and Frosts daily communication resembled a tape which was playing on loop. Always the same. How are you? Some banter, some jokes. I have nothing new for you. We are working on it. The SFPD is also clueless. We couldn't even link our murders together. We have nothing….
Jane tried to call Angela right afterwards, but her mother still seemed to be mad at her and didn't pick up the phone. This was the point where the brunette usually shied away and became the good child again. But she refused to give in this time. It was her life. She had already made to many mistakes by pleasing her mother. Marrying Gabriel just to name one example.
"Ma, I want to talk to Marcella. I know that you are mad at me, but you have no right to deprive me from my daughter!" she said to the voicemail. "She has a right to hear her mothers voice. So, call me."
When she put her phone away, she found Maura staring at her. The blonde had not given a single sign of wanting to move back to her own room so far. Instead she too had called to talk to some detectives of SFPD. Basically, with the same result as Jane. There was nothing in this case which could help to solve it.
Jane shook her head and grabbed her stuff before disappearing wordless into the bathroom. For the first time since coming to Nairobi she took a bath. Her body loosened up a bit in the warm water and she relaxed into the smell of lavender.
She was clearly at a point were the whole world could kiss her ass. Her life was in pieces and so far, she had managed to stay calm and mature. But the troubles with Maura now made it more difficult to be that way.
She noticed how everything was different with the blonde. Nobody could cheer her up like her, but also nobody could make her crumble like her.
This is not good. She mumbled to herself. Not good at all. Fuck!
When it was Maura's time to use the bath, Jane checked for the time. It was about noon in Boston. Her shaky fingers pushed some digits into her phone, the number of an attorney she had looked up this morning after breakfast.
She swallowed the lump in her throat when someone picked up. "I want some information about the legal side of getting divorced." She bravely said, feeling some more tears stinging her eyes. "Yes, its also about child custody." She replied a question from the lady on the other side.
How could something right, feel so terribly wrong? She asked herself while jotting down the date and time of the appointment. Feeling the exact same way about her story with Maura.
The blonde appeared just the moment she had hung up, wearing some light summer dress and looking as stunning as ever. "I thought we could get some cocktails at the pool bar before dinner." She shyly spoke her first real words to Jane in the day.
"I'm not in the mood. Sorry." Jane replied, hoping that she didn't sound harsh or anything. But she really wasn't in the mood for it. Instead she was feeling like pulling the covers over her head and just shutting the whole world out.
"But you can go if you like." She offered with a small smile. Maura gave her a long look as if to find out whether Jane hated her or not. "Maur, its fine. I'm not mad at you or anything. I.. I just made an appointment with a lawyer for my divorce. So I'm not in the mood."
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to stay? I can stay and…"
"No, go. Have fun. I need a bit of alone time anyways." Jane said reassuringly.
"Okay. I take my phone. Just call me if you need anything." The blonde replied making a show of putting her phone into her bag.
"I'll be fine. Always have been." Jane muttered sadly.
"Jane, I'm sorry. I just can't…." Maura's voice trailed off.
"And I shouldn't!" Jane replied a bit harsher than intended. Maura cringed visibly and left the room.
R&I
Jane didn't hear the door being opened and closed because she was in bed with her earphones on. Her mother hadn't bother to call her back and she had enough of the world in general. Yet, she still hoped Maura would stay.
It was true. She wasn't mad at the doc and understood that the blonde just didn't want to destroy their bond. Even though right now it looked a lot like they were doing so by trying not to do so.
The mattress on the other half of the bed shifted and she smelled food. "In case you get hungry." Maura said while handing her a plate. The brunette had skipped dinner but shook her head in no.
"I'm not hungry." She mumbled. "But thank you." She reluctantly grabbed the plate and pushed some stuff on her nightstand aside to put it there. Maura gave her a warm smile. "You have to eat. You need the energy to fight." Her voice was gentle and caring.
Jane mulled over the message and knew that she was right. She took a deep breath when Maura settled into the cushion next to her. The blonde wasn't going to leave her. This was all that mattered.
"Thank you." Jane said in all honesty and Maura gave her a nod. "You're welcome, Jane." She said.
The brunette listened to some more music before grabbing the plate. The food was lukewarm by now, but she was hungry. She shoveled some into her mouth asking Maura if she minded watching TV.
Maura shrugged. "Of course not."
Jane gave a small smile. "Do you want to choose a film to watch together?" she offered. "But no documentary." She added quickly after recalling that Maura loved documentaries.
"Okay. What do you have in mind then?" the blonde put her book aside and chuckled softly.
"Murder!" Jane said and both couldn't help but laugh.
"You know that you will be fine, do you? And more important: you know that you are not alone, right?" the blonde stated with a serious face.
Jane sighed. "I know. Thank you."
"Is it okay if I hug you?" the blonde tried. "I feel that we both could use a hug." She explained.
"I guess so." Was the brunettes reply. "But I'm not a big hugger. Just so you know."
"I almost thought so. But still, let's give it a try." Maura replied and opened her arms. Jane grunted and spread her arms too. They cautiously moved into each other's arms and the embrace felt good indeed. Jane inhaled deeply when feeling the warmth of Maura's body against hers. In a strange way it felt like coming home.
"Enough." She mumbled and pulled away, not wanting that feeling. Not trusting that Maura would really be there if needed. And most of all not trusting herself. She wanted to kiss the doc. She wanted to fall into this cozy feeling of having her. But it was better to stop here than take a deep fall in a week when they would go home again.
Deciding to keep the doc at a reasonable distance she fluffed up her pillow and moved to the far end of her side of the bed. Maura gave her a strange look, but didn't comment.
R&I
"Did you know that they have 61 cocktails at the pool bar?" Maura asked during a commercial break, later that evening.
"What?" Jane asked and snapped out of her thoughts about attorneys and how to find a reasonable flat for her and Marcella.
"Yes, I'm not lying. 61 cocktails. I didn't even think that there could be so many." Maura laughed.
Janes heart went out to her when she thought how poor Maura must have spent a whole awkward hour by the pool alone. Maura made it very hard to stay away by being just sweet Jane thought.
"It's not so bad. I'm used to it." The blonde reassured her with a wink reading Janes mind. Still…
"Oh yeah? And which ones have you tried?" she asked trying not to think about Maura reading the card desperately against her social awkwardness. She felt sorry for her.
"I had a mojito and observed people. Most of them don't use sunscreen. How can they do that to their skin?"
Jane chuckled. This thought was so typical for Maura. Jane found that it was cute.
"I dunno. I usually don't wear sunscreen either." She admitted honestly.
"Yes, but you are different. Your skin is darker. The sun won't do as much harm as to a light colored skin." The blonde replied.
Jane giggled.
"So, did you find out if you're married?" she asked. The commercial break was over, but they didn't care.
"Yes. And yes, I actually am. My mother is going to kill me if she finds out!" Maura rolled her eyes.
Jane laughed gently. "Mothers huh?" she stated.
"Yes! Hell. This is going to be a scandal." Maura shivered.
"Then don't tell her." Jane replied.
"It's not that easy. I'm married to her best friends' son." Maura smirked.
"Gracious god! But cant he keep a secret?"
"We will see. But I have little hope that I'll come out alive of this." The doc smirked and rolled her eyes again.
Jane hummed while thinking. "Weren't u the one who told me that all is going to be fine?" she teased Maura who snorted at her.
"Yes. And just because I believe that its true for you, doesn't mean that I believe that its true for me." She tried to save herself which elicited more laughter of Jane. Maura poked her into the side. "It's not funny!" but by now both were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces.
Jane turned to say something, but her words got stuck in her throat because the blonde's mouth was suddenly covering hers. Delicate hands came up to cup her face and Janes eyes fluttered.
She hummed when their tongues began to move against each other. Maura shifted her body onto Janes lap without breaking the kiss and straddled her.
There was a gasp of surprise when Jane realized what Maura wanted from her. Her eyes searched for Maura's, studying them for a brief moment before their mouths crashed together again. She pushed a strand of lost hair behind the blonde's ears.
Her body was on fire. Her hands began roaming over Maura's back. First over the fabric of her BPD shirt, then a bit bolder underneath. They moaned into each other's mouths. "God you're so hot." The brunette mumbled against lips which were wet and swollen from their kisses. "So are you Jane."
While speaking Maura rocked her midst against Janes which made the brunette almost faint. "You like this?" the blonde said in a sultry voice which was much deeper than her usual. Jane noticed how dark they were because of Maura's arousal. "I like you." Jane managed to say. "A lot."
Their eyes locked and they studied each other for the fraction of a second. Both moaned when Maura moved her hips again. Her hands were still cupping Janes face, and she was looking down into the dark orbs while moving her hips in a rhythm now. It felt to Jane as if she was searching for something. But she didn't know what.
It was intense and very intimate how they kept looking at each other. Maura leant down to kiss her again. This time the kiss was softer and more tentative. Jane leant into it, stopping the roaming of her hands on Maura's back. "We shouldn't do that." She whispered once they broke off the kiss to catch a breath.
"I want you so much. But we shouldn't do that." She whispered again before kissing the blonde again. Her long fingers finding their way to Maura's belly under the hem of the BPD shirt she had borrowed Maura a few days ago.
"Do you want to stop?" Maura whispered back and Jane swallowed. "No." was her simple answer and she let her fingers explore the soft skin from the belly up to the underside of Maura's breasts. "Do you?" she asked dreading the answer stopping the movement of her fingers again.
"No." was Maura's reply. "Kay then." Jane leant forward to kiss the blonde's neck which was in front of her. She left a trail of kisses along the way to the clavicle bone, feeling drunk by Maura's delicious smell, soft skin and soft moans.
Maura kept rocking herself against Jane who pulled her hands out of the doc's shirt. Her eyes searched for permission when she grabbed the hem of the grey clothe. Maura nodded and she took a deep breath before pulling it over her head. She threw the shirt over her shoulder and looked at a pair of full and perfect breasts. The nipples were already stiff, and she couldn't resist to cup them with her hands. Her thumb gently stroke over the buds, hearing Maura taking in a sharp breath. When she looked up, she saw the blonde biting her lip while riding her under her ministrations. Her hair which was usually meticulously in place was now falling into all kind of directions giving her a sweet and disheveled look.
She repeated the action with her thumbs, feeling how the nipples had hardened more by now. Placing her mouth over one of them and listening to Maura's reaction kept her busy for a while. Never in her life had she made love to another woman and what happened there in that moment left her mesmerized.
Maura pulled at Janes shirt and the brunette lifted her arms to let the blonde undress her. The shirts were soon followed by PJ pants and Jane took the opportunity to shift positions. Now she was on top and Maura under her. She straddled the blonde who worked her magic fingers on her breasts.
Jane swallowed and grinded into Maura who moaned. She suddenly faltered when realizing that she had no clue what Maura liked. She wasn't stupid: she knew the possibilities of how to pleasure a woman. But what did Maura like?
The blonde feeling her in secureness smiled gently while grabbing her hand to lead it to the waistband of her sexy lingerie. Jane nodded in understanding as their eyes met. Dipping her fingers under the waistband she explored Maura's wet folds. The doc buckled her hips.
"Please Jane. Please fuck me." The blonde pleaded. Jane was kneeling over her, kissing her neck while letting her fingers slide deeper into the wet folds. Both moaned. Maura because of the touch and Jane because of the wetness which awaited her.
"Someone's really ready." She teased by whispering into Maura's ear.
"Someone's going to be tortured later." The blonde gasped. Jane couldn't help but chuckle. "Are you threatening me Dr. Isles?" She asked in a sultry voice.
"I might be." Maura whispered, buckling her hips to get contact with Janes body.
Jane smiled gently as she let her fingers glide towards the spot Maura needed her most. Her mouth kept hovering over Maura's ear, kissing her behind it. "Almost there baby." She whispered and Maura moaned again. "Oh god, Jane. Please!"
Two fingers pushed into the core, making Maura whimper in delight. Jane pumped her and when she crawled the finger inside the core, Maura came hard expressing her joy with a loud scream of her name.
R&I
"I might have abducted you, but you stole my virginity." Jane chuckled later when they were laying in each other's arms.
"You don't say so?" Maura asked astonished. "You mean you have never…?"
"No. I have never slept with a woman before. Nor kissed a woman before for that matter." Jane mumbled into Maura's neck.
"You were good. I mean, not that i… well…"
"It's okay. Its like home game. It wasn't that hard." Jane chuckled and kissed the blondes pulse point.
"Wow!" Maura whispered. "Guess you are good at all what you do. You are very talented in this department for sure."
Jane giggled and nudged her.
"So, is this going to happen again?" Jane asked.
"I don't know Jane." Maura said, looking into her eyes. Jane had already expected the answer and nodded.
"Okay." She replied and felt Maura tense underneath her arm. "No, I mean it. I'm okay with it. If u had asked me, I would have given the same answer."
Maura relaxed again. Jane was totally fine with not putting any label to anything right now as she had enough on her plate already. Besides, she felt the need to be alone first for a while before starting a new relationship or anything.
Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the aftermath after the orgasm. Maura placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and rested her palm against it afterwards. It touched Jane how caring the woman was. And how sensitive when it came to feeling what she needed. The doc made life so much easier for her in this turmoil and for the first time in her entire life she dared to trust someone else to look after her and see her weakness.
It was somehow ironic that she felt so calm despite her entire world coming apart. Something told her that Maura was and always would be a reliable anchor. She couldn't tell what made her think that, but it was a fact that she felt incredibly safe and at home with the doc.
"Are you okay?" Maura whispered and lifted her head to look down at Jane who was still nestled into the crook of her neck.
"Yes. I'm totally fine. How about you?" she asked the doc letting her fingers stroke over the soft skin on the blonde's belly.
Maura shifted slightly with a content sigh. "Yes. It was perfect. I uhm…" Her words made Jane giggle.
"Did I make you speechless?" she teased and Maura pulled her up for a kiss.
"Kind of." She admitted with a grin.
