After spending the rest of the noon with a nervous stomach, Jane threw her pen onto the desk and texted Maura. The invitation to dinner was clearly stirring something in her and she found herself in a panic. Was panicking belonging to the process of falling in love she wondered and almost had to laugh her own antics.

It had begun slowly with a simple question: what am I going to wear tonight? Jane glanced at Frost while waiting for a response from the doc. He was the culprit of her misery. Because she had been fine until he had started talking to Korsak about how to dress for a date he would have tonight.

Until that very moment, Jane would have gone to the dinner in her working clothes. Now her head was spinning because she didn't know what Maura intended tonight to be. Or more important what she wanted for herself. All this waiting but yet touching was driving her crazy.

One insecurity had led to another and dragged Jane into an emotional turmoil. Her fingers were tapping impatiently onto the desk while hoping for release in form of a reply. She listened up when she heard an unfamiliar clack clack of high heels on the floor outside. The sound was coming closer and soon the blonde appeared in the threshold of the bullpen. Maura greeted everybody politely and Korsak and Frost gave Jane teasing looks. But the brunette only focused on the blonde and the impossibly big purse dangling from her arm.

"Hey." She couldn't help but sound shy.

"Hi Jane." Maura greeted back and walked over to her desk.

R&I

"You know, you could have replied with a text." Jane stated confused as they stepped into the sunlight.

"Why? You wrote that you were starving and if I wanted to take a walk to the park for sandwiches. I thought why wait if you are already hungry." Maura said matter of factly and Jane blushed slightly.

"Besides I wanted to see you at your working place for a change." The doc winked, noticing how Jane didn't link fingers like they usually did. Instead Jane feigned interest in a light pole along their way. Everything had been so easy in Nairobi, the detective thought while noticing that someone had stuck a paper to the pole which headlined Have you seen my cat?

Probably because it always seems to be unreal when you're far away. But Maura is in Boston now where your real life is. And hence her place in your life is real too. Her inner voice whispered. Jane nodded to herself and cursed her own nervousness which had gotten the better of her.

The source for her nervousness was walking next to her on high heels and with a gentle smile, that Jane found hard to resist to.

Taking her time and clearing up some mess had seemed to be a good idea. But Jane suddenly panicked about Maura leaving for SFPD and that they would never see each other again. On the other hand, it felt to her that it would be a mistake to rush into anything.

Her thoughts were occupied going down the same circles all the time. So, was it the work suit tonight or a dress? Nothing about this seemed to be easy as the mind fought a battle against her heart.

Jane hat stopped in her tracks during her thinking process and hadn't noticed. Only when the doc aske her if she was okay she snapped back into reality.

"Me? Yes. mi totally fine." Jane said automatically. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know Jane. I was hoping that you would tell me." Letting go of things clearly was Maura's virtue and Jane cringed not knowing what to say. Or if she did how to say it.

"If its about tonight…. We don't have to do this." The blonde said, sounding hurt.

"No, its not what you mean." Jane silently said as they continued their walk, reaching the park. She let Maura sit down at a bench while picking up some food for both of them. "What is it then?" Maura asked her when she took a seat next to her.

"Its just that I'm confused. But that's exactly why I said that I need time, because there are things to sort out." Jane had no words to explain how much she wanted to touch or kiss Maura right now but also how she couldn't let this happen at the same time. After having been married for years and always doing everything to please other people she just didn't know who she was. And she hoped to find this out by spending some alone time and doing what she had to do like getting divorced.

"Confused about what?" Maura looked puzzled. The detective noticed how the doc held her sandwich as if she had forgotten why they were there.

"Confused about what to wear tonight." Jane replied and gauged the blonde's reaction to her words.

"Why would it ma…." The sentence hung between them and hazel eyes tried to catch dark ones. Jane silently cursed Frost for starting this. Maura suddenly giggled and the brunette thought that Maura had lost her mind until she explained. "All the time I was thinking that you needed time to come over your broken marriage." She stated and her hand found its way onto Janes long legs. "But you have a whole different problem, right?"

Jane gasped but then nodded and put her sandwich down, also forgetting about it. "I'm fighting a lot." She admitted with her head between her shoulders. "All I can think of is you Maura. And its wonderful. But I always think that I should just clear up that mess in my life in order to start over. And.." there was a sigh. Maura squeezed her thigh in encouragement. "And I'm confused about how you … I mean… Do you just like me as a friend or could there be more? I feel like getting mixed signals. Like now you are touching me, yet you keep repeating that we are friends."

She watched Maura turn her head to face away from herself and bit her lips. The phone on her belt started ringing in both jumped in surprise. As so often in life, her phone rang in the worst moment possible and Jane reluctantly hooked it off her belt, recognizing by the ringtone that it was her mother calling. Angela had the day off and was looking after Marcella which meant that her call could be very important.

"Ma?" Jane said after picking up while keeping her eyes on Maura. "Janie, where are you?"

"At the park. Maura and I are having our lunchbreak. Is something wrong?" the brunette was alarmed by the rush in Angela's voice.

"Stanly wants to work me the afternoon shift. I know it was supposed to be my day off, but I don't want him to fire me. So, can I bring her to you?"

"Sure." Jane said and her eyes were on Maura without realizing it.

R&I

Jane never got to hear the answer to her question because they had to rush back to the precinct where her mother was already waiting for them with Marcella. Jane gave her untouched Sandwich to Korsak because she wasn't hungry anymore. The moment she was off to ask Cavanaugh if she could take the rest of the day off, a new case came in and she had to take it.

"Maura can you please?" Jane asked. She had learned earlier that Maura was done with her work. The blonde shrieked. "I don't think that it's a good idea, Jane." Came a faint protest. But Marcella was already stretching out her little arms towards the doc and Maura automatically reached for the toddler.

"I try to pick her up as soon as I can okay?" she said and handed Maura the bag which contained all sort of stuff needed by the kid. "Call me if there is a problem or if you have a question." Jane sighed.

"Okay." Maura gave a faint smile and didn't dare to look at Janes eyes since the question the brunette had asked earlier. Probably a bad sign, the brunette mused as she and Frost got into the car. Why hadn't she just shut up and gone to dinner? It would have been far less mess.

"I hope this is a quick one." Frost stated while they were rushing through the traffic towards the crime scene. "Seen as we have both dates tonight…" His voice was cheerful. Jane who was fed up with her problems didn't reply. Her partner who was used to this mood shrugged it off and silenced to let her be.

R&I

"Murder suicide." The ME greeted them, and Frost exhaled. Jane who didn't want to do a sloppy job despite her personal problems took a closer look at the scene in front of her.

"He first shot her and then himself." Dr. Altman elaborated and the detective nodded deciding that he was right. The husband still had the gun in his hand. It always made her wonder what could go so terribly wrong that a relationship had to end like this.

When her phone buzzed, she quickly glanced at the screen to find a message from Maura. It somehow made her smile.

Marcellas asleep. I fed and played with her. How bad is it?

Jane bit her lip and typed a reply. Murder suicide. I will wrap up and write the report tomorrow. Thank you for looking after her. Sounds like you already had fun.

So, you could make it for dinner? Are you still coming for dinner or are you just going to pick her up?

Jane thought about the question for a moment. It hit her that Maura was insecure after their talk during lunch. This was her moment to bail out if she wanted to. Maura wouldn't even ask why. But somehow she didn't want to miss out on the chance to spend more time with the doc. And seeing how the doc had nothing more to do to help them in Boston, she would probably leave for San Francisco soon.

Therefore, she replied that she was still in for dinner if Maura was also still wanting too. She almost immediately received a thumbs up emoji as a reply which made her smile again.

"I can wrap up." Frost put a hand to her shoulder with a wink. "Go home."

Jane thanked him and left him with some orders, feeling stupid because she knew that Frost was perfectly capable to handle the situation. She was grateful that he wasn't offended but offered more words of support and encouragement.

R&I

It was almost an hour later when a freshly showered Jane in blue Levis and a BPD shirt knocked on Maura's door.

The brunette pulled her left hand through her wild curls, holding a bottle of fancy wine in the other while waiting for Maura to open the door for her. Maybe Maura had fallen asleep she thought, shifting from one foot to the other when there was no sign of life.

She knocked again and this time she heard the blondes voice calling. "Coming!" When the door finally opened, Jane hitched a breath. Maura was dressed in another elegant outfit which hugged her body just in the right places.

"Are we having a date I know nothing off?" Jane tried to joke after picking the jaw of the ground. She thought about herself and somehow felt shabby.

She handed her the wine and Maura thanked her. "I'm sorry, but I didn't get to cooking yet. Marcella kept me busy until she fell asleep." An apologetical smile rushed over the blonde's face and Jane chuckled. "Welcome to motherhood. It needs a lot of experience and exercise to keep an eye on her and doing other stuff." She winked and followed the docs invitation to walk into the house.

Maura showed a smirk and chuckled. "I just have an urgent call to do. Could you order food while I'm gone?" the doc asked, and Jane agreed that she could do that.

After ordering Pizza, Jane took the liberty to walk into the living room to cautiously sit down onto the couch. The house was big she thought. And the decoration very interesting. Some masks were hanging over the fireplace which looked pretty scary. A huge TV was filling the wall in front of her and she wondered what it would be like to watch a sox game on it.

"Do you want some beer?" Jane who hadn't heard Maura coming looked towards the threshold where she found the blonde leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed in front of her chest. A sight to which Jane could get used she thought.

"Yes, please." She replied after clearing her throat.

"I figured that you were rather a beer than a wine person." Maura chuckled and Jane followed her into the kitchen. "Oh yeah? You really are a good observer. You should trust your gut more."

Maura gave her a weird smile. "Well, thank you. But I don't trust some intestines." Her eyes were warm and soft when they met the brunettes who was leaning against the counter watching her open the beer and pour a glass of white wine.

"Cheers!" Jane toasted noticing that Maura had bought her favorite beer. A smile spread over her face until she realized that Maura was soon going to tell her that she had to go back to the other side of the country.

And she guessed that Maura saw in her face that she knew what was coming. "Hey, do you want to take a quick look at the guest house?" Maura offered quickly as if to deflect from the sad matter and Jane accepted the invitation.

The guest house was very spacious and nice. They walked around the rooms and Maura explained everything to her. "So, what do you say?" the doc asked when they finished their tour in the kitchen.

"I like it." Jane honestly said. "But?" Maura probed, hearing reluctance in Janes voice.

"I don't know if it's a good idea." Jane simply stated. "I mean I have no clue when I will find my own place and this is not a neighborhood for a blue collar Italian woman."

She saw the doc biting her lip. "You should stop downplaying yourself Jane. This has got nothing to do with money or status. I hope that this is not a problem between us and never will be." Maura's hand touched hers gently.

"When are you going to leave?" the dark voice asked, and Maura bit her lips again, wanting to pull back her hand, but Janes came up quickly as so often to keep it in place.

"I'm going to fly home tomorrow. Apparently, they have been understaffed lately which means that a lot of work is awaiting me." There was an apologetical look on the blondes' face.

"Would you mind if we skyped? I'm sure Marcella is going to miss you." Jane winked and Maura's face turned from somber to happy. "I would love that!"

Jane gently nudged her. "Guess we will call you then. I'm gonna miss you too by the way."

"I'm going to miss you too." Maura mumbled as they moved into a hug and both inhaled each other's scent deeply. Tears were tickling the brunette's eyes, but she blinked them away. While in the shower she had decided to spare Maura the pain to say that she wasn't reciprocating her feelings. Maura would be gone tomorrow. And her feelings for the blonde would hopefully pass over the following months. So, the best thing to do was to enjoy their last evening together because none of them new when they would see each other again.