Entry Log 146 - 00:35:14
The moon is a crescent in the sky that is currently playing peek-a-boo with dense dark clouds. The camera pans after a few moments, shifting to take in Sundance' partner who has taken residence of Skylar's normal stargazing shelf. Cayde is alone, the glow of his optics and sensors in the dark night are like piercing radiant stars. He glances at the feed and then sighs, pulling back his hood and rubbing at the interlocking joints that make up his neck. A few minutes tick by in silence as the Exo enjoys the quiet night before a sharp beep draws his attention back to his partner.
"Incoming call from Skylar," Sundance informs him evenly and his eyes seem to flicker brighter for a moment, something that happens when his interest is piqued. He nods his head in a silent command to put the call through and after a moment there's a click and a brief shiver of static before her voice comes over the feed.
"You know," she starts off, a playful tone in her voice. "If you wanted to check in you could have just called me and not had poor Shiro feel like he needs to keep checking in on me." There's a murmur in the background of her voice, something like a howl or a sharp wind. It's expected given her location. Cayde smirks and leans back against the railing that he's supposed to be on the other side of.
"What fun would that be?" he teases, pausing for a moment as she snorts over the connection. "I figured it was a safer bet than maybe distracting you on a mission," he relents finally. It's a smart move realistically and not that surprising of one for a leader to make. Interruptions and distractions out on the field could be devastating. Skylar lets out a small, tired sigh and the sound of her sitting down is heard by way of her armor scuffing against something hard and sliding.
"Well, to answer your question, I'm doing fine. This has turned out to be a much larger problem than any of us thought," she informed him and Cayde nods out of habit despite knowing she can't see it.
"So I've heard. SIVA is nasty stuff from what I know of it, so be careful and watch each other's backs." He pauses thinking for a moment. "How's Saladin doing?"
"As good as one can be I suppose. I had no idea that's what happened to his group. It sounds awful… The Iron Lords did a lot for the City in the beginning so it's important we do what we can for them. Winter has been talking with him off and on, I guess I should have know they'd known each other well, probably why he called for her."
"She's been around awhile," Cayde agrees scratching his jaw. "Heard once she could have joined their ranks but turned it down to help Ikora with The Hidden instead." A sound breaks through the mic then, belonging to several voices, not speaking words but notes. Wolves are howling. "Where are you exactly?"
Skylar gives a small laugh in reply before speaking. "Outside. Did you know this place has its own pack? They're all pretty docile to us unless we get too close to their meals. One of them keeps following me around, it's pure white. Saladin told me he's a yearling from this last spring. I asked if I could keep him and the guy just shook his head and laughed. You think that's a yes?"
The Exo chuckles, shaking his head, closing his eyes. "I don't think so, plus I'm pretty sure Zavala would bust a blood vessel if you showed up with a wolf." He gets the sound of her laughter again as a reply and smiles. "How's Fenrir?"
"Fine, he's a fast learner though he seems to like living dangerously. Keeps teasing Winter about how long she's been alive. She's going to throw him off this mountain if he's not careful. Saladin seems to like him, says his name sounds like an Iron Lord, which of course boosted his ego exponentially." She snorted a laugh again, sighing at the end of it, exasperated. They're quiet for a few moments, gathering their thoughts as it were and the feed flickers twice as Sundance blinks. "Am I missing anything there?" she asks finally and Cayde tilts his head in thought.
"Not too much. Z got back today and seemed annoyed that he was left out of the action. I told him he'd be on call in case you guys needed help. That settled him down a bit. Nothing else much besides my bed seeming too big by myself lately," he's lonely, misses her and it's the first time during the conversation he's let that show. She doesn't live with him, still has her own room and spends nights there, but Skylar is with him enough that it's odd to not have her there.
"I'm sure you'll live," she muses before pausing and taking in a deep breath. "I miss you too." It's an admission he wasn't counting on and Cayde's brow plate raises in surprise, looking at the feed directly for a moment as if he can see her. "I'll be back soon. Tomorrow we're heading into the thick of where things went wrong. Hopefully we can put a stop to this mess before it gets worse." She sounds tired then, worn like she did after the last few missions in the Taken War. Cayde frowns slightly, the golden light in his throat flickering.
"You should be resting then, dont push it."
"You worry too much Cayde," she murmurs. "I'll be careful..." She trails off, and Cayde tilts his head, noting the way she seems to hesitate. Maybe there's more on her mind than he first thought. He glances at the feed, as if realising something for the first time, brow plates pulling low over his glowing optics.
"It's not like you to be up so late before a big assignment," he states, and it's true that normally she tries to get an early night if she can, if her mind let's her. "Something is bothering you." It's not a question, because he knows it's true, he just doesn't know what. He hears her shift, fabric scraping on whatever she's leaning against. They must be sitting in much the same way, back pressed against something, legs out in front. It's as if they're sitting back to back again, even if there is a great distance between them. She takes a while to reply, to admit to something that is apparently hard to voice.
"Do you remember when I first asked about your recording logs? You said it was incase you got reset and things got jumbled or went missing." Such a long time ago now, Cayde hums, thinking back.
"Yeah, I do. It took you a long time to get used to them too." He smiles, remembering something, maybe her embarrassment about being filmed, or the complaining she'd done. "What about it?"
"I just..." she sighes. "Saladin said something when Shiro came to check on me for you. He said that sometimes Exos change when they get reset, that they forget things that meant so much to them before." There's another long pause, and Cayde's features have turned down, the hand in view curling. "Shiro said I shouldn't worry, that Saladin doesn't know everything but… I can't stop thinking about it."
"You should listen to Shiro," Cayde grumbles quietly, biting back at the irritation in his vocals. "But I guess I can't blame you. I worry about it too," he admits, shaking his head. "You should know that I'm not planning on that happening for a long, long time Sky."
"But it will happen," she pointes out, her voice becoming more strained, worried. "We don't age Cayde, not really. As long as one of us doesn't lose our Light and die we could be alive indefinitely. Banshi, Saladin, Zavala, they're all proof of that." It was a fact that she stated, but it was more still. Her words while said in worry, also meant that she had no intention of ever leaving him, that ten, twenty, fifty years later she'd still be by his side. It made the golden light at his throat flicker, a smile brought out in the angle of his jaw despite her words. "I'm not sure what I would do if..."
"Hey," he stops her before she can start down a darker train of thought. He knows her well enough to see it coming in her tone. She starts, surprised, but falls silent to let him speak and the Exo's eyes flicker up to the sky and the sleeping god they serve. "And you say I worry too much..." he teases lightly and she huffs over the line but he keeps going, stopping any remarks. "You told me once, on the snowy day during The Dawning, that worrying about what we don't know, letting that be what rules us, was the wrong way to go about things." He'd been asking her if the fact that he might have had a son, a wife or a lover back in his first life would bother her. They'd been speaking of the past then, but really, her words counted for the future as well. "Don't go back on those words now."
"Cayde..."
"I know," he reasons, knowing she scared. "I can't tell you that I know hundred percent that I will never forget something about our relationship or that when I get reset that I'll be the same, every Exo knows that," he admits. "But I don't feel like just an Exo, not with you." He thrums the ground with his fingers, a serious expression on his face once more. "I don't feel like metal and wires, like I'm synthetic, I haven't for a while, and that's because of you. You know I've been around the block before Sky, I've been around a while, had my causal encounters with people. I can tell you right now, that none of them have ever made me feel human, only you. Since the very first time you reached out and touched me." He pauses, waiting to see if she'll say something, but she's gone silent over the coms, stunned maybe, so he continues. "That's why even if something happened, if I couldn't remember you, if I wasn't sure even after I watched all these logs… I'd know the moment you touched me again. I'd know it was real, what we have. So don't worry, alright?"
Silence.
Her line was quiet except for the howling in the background and it was like that for a good two minutes on the timer, long enough to make worry enter his features.
Then - a sniffle.
Cayde stiffens slightly at the sound because it was so rare and so troubling in every other case that he'd heard it. Panic replacing the worry instantly.
"I'm okay," she assures him, another sniffle on the edge of her words. "I just... I guess I had no idea," she explains. "Hearing you say that means a lot. Makes it hard to stay here instead of bolting to my jump ship and dragging you to bed." There's a tremble in her voice but nothing about it sounds sad, and Cayde slowly relaxes his joints again, blinking as he realizes what happened. Tears yes, but not sad, happy. Something he'd rarely ever seen from anyone. He runs a hand down his face, relieved.
"Yeah well, it's not the easiest thing to say, you know," he points out, letting his eyelids droop slightly. "It's true though." A few more minutes pass in silence, both of them caught in thoughts, both somehow despite the thousands of miles apart, connected.
"It's the same for me," Skylar whispers finally, gaining his attention, gaze flickering to the feed. "I'm not an Exo but… I always felt like a weapon in a way. I think Tevis said it best when he told me his thoughts on it and I found myself agreeing. A living tool to be used until it broke. What I felt, what I wanted, I wasn't sure it was okay, that I had the right. Then I woke up in that hospital bed and and you held my hand… it felt like an anchor formed. I started feeling like I did have the right, that it was okay to be in love with you because you didn't see me as a weapon, just another living human."
It was his turn to be stunned silent, a thoughtful look melding into place on his metallic features. It was an admission both of them had needed to hear. He let his head bow slightly and he took in another deep breath.
"Love you too," he whispers, looking back up at the sky. "Cloudy night," he says off hand, not because he wants to change the subject but because maybe, they're looking at the same sky and the distance is shattered once more. After a few moments she agrees.
"Yeah, but it will clear soon enough," she promises, and it's clear she means more than the sky above. The Exo smiles gently, closing his eyes and breathing in the air and while there is no sign to do so, Sundance blinks once and slowly lets the feed fade to black.
