A/n: Warning for a person's friends telling them to eat and/or sleep.


The third Sunday in a row that the Teen Titans wake up to find that Tim had papered the kitchen and living room with case files, wheeled a whiteboard in from the lab and solved seven cases overnight while running on caffeine and adrenaline, Kon calls a meeting to plan an intervention.

"Tim's going to work himself to death," Kon says. There's sighing and sounds of agreement all around.

"How do we stop him?" Gar asks. "Tim's a Bat dialed up to eleven. He doesn't think he has a problem."

Kon, Gar, Raven, Cassie, Bart and Mia all turn to Victor and Joey, who are both the only adults in the room and the ones with years of experience wrangling Nightwing when they were Teen Titans together. Victor and Joey look at each other.

"Nightwing wasn't this bad," Victor says.

"We annoyed him a lot," Joey signs. He shrugs. "Seemed to work."

Wind rushes past and then Bart is back in his seat holding a pen and a pad of paper. "Operation: Annoy Tim Into Taking Care of Himself, start. Let's make a list."


1. Eat meals as a team so he can't skip them

The first team meal gets hijacked by a weekend long alien invasion that's the result of a misprint in the directions for an intergalactic high school sports match. Yes, really. By the time the Green Lanterns arrive to break the language barrier and negotiate the use of Dodger Stadium by the five school teams that are playing some sort of round-robin, the Teen Titans are so tired that Bart is the only one who eats something substantial before falling asleep.

The next weekend, Joey and Raven have several meals prepared ahead of time and Gar crossing his fingers that there won't be a major villain situation seems to have worked. Tim doesn't seem to notice that all nine of them are sitting at the table and eating dinner together due to having his nose buried in a case file, but he's there and he's eating. They call that a win.

"Maybe this won't be so hard," Mia says.

And it isn't. Sure, sometimes Kon has to physically carry him to the table but, barring situations outside of their control, Tim stops missing meals on Titans weekends.


2. Make him agree to a daily caffeine allowance and stick to it

Tim generally prefers tea over coffee, but when he's working on a case he goes straight for the strongest coffee he can brew and supplements with energy drinks. He agrees when Victor imposes a one hundred milligram daily caffeine limit on the whole team (because, to be fair, he's not the only one who's surviving on coffee when he shouldn't be, Mia) but that might be because he's half asleep at the time.

Cassie steps between Tim and the coffee maker for the third time in three hours. Tim is too tired to even glare at her properly.

"You should really take a nap," Cassie says.

Tim makes a serious of sounds that could be words if they were heard backwards underwater.

Cassie crosses her arms. "Tim, you can barely keep your eyes open. You were up all night again, weren't you?"

"...Arkham," Tim mutters. "Twice."

It's unclear if that means there was an Arkham breakout twice last night or twice in the past week. Both are equally possible.

"Coffee isn't the answer," Cassie says. "It's ten in the morning. Do you really want to use up half your caffeine now?"

It takes Tim a little too long to answer. "No."

"Exactly. Take a nap. You'll feel better," Cassie says.

Tim looks at her with a blank expression. Then he shuffles across the room and face plants onto the couch. By the time Cassie goes after him to make sure he's not going to suffocate himself with a pillow, he's already asleep.


3. Replace his caffeinated night owl chocolate with regular chocolate (no chocolate is NOT an option)

"I thought it was a myth," Mia grumbles.

"What did you think was a myth?" Raven asks.

Mia hugs the heating pad she's monopolized and curls up even more tightly on the couch like having less surface area will make her cramps less painful. "That when people live together their periods sync up."

Raven looks a little less confused. Being raised in Azarath had left a lot of the nuances of Earth societies a mystery. She's been working on learning about her new home but little things like common rumours still often escape her.

"I'm pretty sure it is a myth," Tim says. "We're just really unlucky." He winches as the feeling of being stabbed repeatedly from the inside intensifies. "And I hate it."

Cassie hands him a mug of green tea. "Donna will fight your parents as soon as you say the word. She can get hormone therapy when she grew up on an unplottable island and doesn't have American citizenship, but you need permission from parents you haven't seen in years? I call bull."

"Who's going to say no to Wonder Woman?" Tim points out.

"It's still stupid," Cassie says. She passes a bar of chocolate to Mia and then sits down with her pint of ice cream.

"Welcome to being trans in America." Tim takes a sip of his tea. "Actually, welcome to being anything other than a cis, white, straight man in America."

"Cis, white, straight, allosexual man," Raven says. The rest of them nod.

"Enough complaining," Mia says. "Well, not really, but can we take a break to pick what we're going to watch to distract us from feeling like we're dying? I'll only accept suggestions for fluff."

"Ouran High School Host Club," Tim says.

"Disney movies," Cassie says.

The real distraction ends up being the great debate between Tim and Cassie that Mia and Raven watch while smothering laughter in bites of chocolate.


4. Confiscate his electronics if he's been awake for 72 hours or more (you'll know because if you ask he will tell you, he has no filter when he's been awake that long)

Not Batfam

12:13 AM EST

Not Robin: This is Superboy. I'm confiscating Rob's phone and computer. If you really need him let Cyborg know

Not Robin: Try not to need him

Not Nightwing: AGAIN?

Not Nightwing: tell him Alfred would be disappointed

Not Robin: I already did. He started trying not to cry

Not Robin: I'm pretty sure he can taste colors right now

Not Nightwing: yikes

Not Robin: And he's fallen asleep at his desk

Not Oracle: Thanks for taking care of him. N, don't you have patrol right now?

Not Nightwing: ...i might have broken my ankle

Not Oracle: Are you still trying to patrol?

Not Nightwing: ...maybe

Not Oracle: This is where Robin gets it from

Not Nightwing: no, that's all B

Not Oracle: Keep telling yourself that. Go home, N


5. When he's working on a case, bring him food and water and make him take naps (see schedule on fridge)

Gar knocks on the door of Tim's room. He doesn't expect an answer. Tim has been working on Batman knows what since Friday and doesn't even seem to notice when there are other people in the same room as him. That doesn't mean that he won't beat anyone who spooks him into the ground before they can realize what's happening.

"It's Gar. I'm opening your door. Last chance to tell me not to come in." Gar waits but, as expected, Tim doesn't reply.

He pushes open the door to find Tim working on his computer and muttering to himself. Whatever his teammate is working on, it doesn't seem to be going well.

"Water incoming from ten o'clock," Gar says. "Metal straw."

It's probably a sign of how often this has been necessary that Tim drinks the water Gar holds in front of his face without blinking. The protein bar causes a little trouble but Gar eventually shoves it into Tim's hand and gets him eating robotically. He takes a look at Tim's computer screen while he's waiting for Tim to finish eating. There are a few things there that look familiar.

"So, hypothetically, if I told you that symbol is the same as the one Raven's tribute band uses, would that help at all?" Gar asks.

Tim stops chewing and stares at the symbol Gar is pointing to. His gaze darts over the screen. He opens more files and switches between them too quickly for Gar to see the picture he's putting together.

Finally, Tim turns to Gar with a look of absolute exhaustion. "I hate magic."

Gar pats Tim's shoulder. "Finish eating. Should I call Zatanna?"

"Yes," Tim says. "I hate magic."


6. Make him join movie nights (we always fall asleep on the couch, he should too)

Tim is studying for a history test when Kon walks into his room and carries him away from his desk.

"Kon, put me down," Tim says. "Conner!"

"Nope," Kon says. "It's movie night, Bat boy. Deal with it."

Tim debates if he should bother putting up a fight. The test isn't that important and if it's been declared movie night he's unlikely to be allowed to skip. On the other hand, there's the principle of the thing.

"I have a test," Tim says.

"It's Friday," Kon retorts. "You have all weekend to study."

There's also that.

Kon only puts Tim down when they've reached the living room. The rest of the team is sprawled on the couch and the floor. Victor has taken the armchair to try to avoid anyone getting injured by his metal limbs again. They've banned horror movies from the movie night options for a reason.

Kon dumps Tim into the empty spot on the couch and sits on the floor in front of him. "What are we watching, Bart?"

"Lord of the Rings," Bart says.

"Which one?" Tim asks.

Bart grins. "All of them!"

So, it's going to be one of those nights, huh?

Tim grabs one of the blankets stacked next to the couch and settles back in his seat as the movie starts. He's okay with this.


7. If all else fails, sic Agent A on him

(This step hasn't been necessary. Yet.)