"Sunshine!"
I wiped the tears from my eyes quickly before I turned to watch as Paul bounded over to where I was standing like a giant hyped-up Labrador Retriever. The other boys were a few feet behind him, snickering. When he caught up to me he almost fell in his haste to stop. Before I could reply he threw his arms around me and pulled me into his body, hanging on to me as if I was going to float away without him there to anchor me.
I leaned forward and let my head drop onto his shoulder, using his body to hide my blotchy face and red, aching eyes from the others. I slid my arms around his waist, hanging on tightly as well. I could feel the urge to start crying and my despair rise so I gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes shut.
"Babe," Paul purred, kissing the top of my head. A sob ripped itself from my throat and I swallowed vainly, hoping to shove the other ones that wanted to follow back down into my chest.
"Sunshine, are you okay?" His tone was loaded with concern. He went to pull back to look at my face but I followed, refusing to let my head part from his shoulder. I know that I would have to answer his questions now, but I wanted to hide away in his embrace for another couple of seconds until I could pull myself together. "Salem?"
I heard the other boys come and stand around us, shielding us from the curious stares of the tourists. In that moment I have never felt more grateful. It made me feel just a tiny bit safer.
Another sob fell from my lips and I felt his arms stiffen around me, causing me to flinch away from him. As I stepped back, the peaceful feeling of being shielded popped and I promptly burst into tears as all of my emotions overwhelmed me.
"Hey," He cooed, reaching up to cup my face and tilt it up so he could inspect me. With all of my tears I could barely make out his face.
"What's wrong, Babe? Did someone hurt you?" I shook my head and sniffled, wiping away at my eyes. He and the other boys remained silent as I dropped my head and sucked in several deep breaths of air.
"What's going on?" Paul asked quietly.
"Two of my friends have been murdered," I cried, my voice crackling like broken glass. He reached over and grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Their bodies were found this morning on the beach."
The hand in mine stiffened and gave a small jerk. I looked up and all of the boys seemed to be frozen. David, Dwayne, and Marko were looking out at the ocean view behind us with sad eyes. Paul, however, met my eyes. His lips were twisted in a grimace, his eyebrows furrowed, and his stare was drowning with remorse and sympathy.
"I'm sorry to hear that," David offered softly, lighting up a cigarette. "Do they know the cause of death, yet?"
I shook my head. "No, though the officer said that in the... state they were in it would be impossible to tell exactly what killed them. The only thing they know is that their death was very violent." The silence that followed was palpable, even with the sounds of the tourists and the rumble of the ocean.
"Our condolences," Dwayne offered quietly, breaking the ranks to sweep me up in his arms.
"Thanks," I murmured. His arms tightened around me and I sighed. Eventually I gently pushed myself away, feeling the mask that I usually hid my emotions under slide back over my face. Dwayne looked me over one more time, nodded when he had found whatever he was looking for and backed away. Paul snuck up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and his hand started to stroke up and down my arm. I felt my body relax just a hair more.
"Come on," Marko said, breaking from the line and leading us into the crowds. Everyone immediately parted to let us in. "Let's go get all the funnel cake we could eat and go ride some rides."
"I don't know. I'm not really feeling in the mood for some rides," I countered hesitantly, "Today was busy at work and I don't think I'd be good company. I should go home."
"Hey, don't say that," Paul said, "We don't care that you're not 'good company' right now. We don't hang out with you just because you're fun. You're one of us, let us make you feel better."
I bit my lip and debated silently. On one hand, I really wanted to go home, take a long bath, and then go to bed so I can forget all about today for a bit. But, on the other hand, I wanted to stay with the boys for just a little bit longer to soak up their easy affection.
"Fine," I decide, squeezing Paul's waist and smiling, "Let's go ride some rides."
Paul and Marko whooped and David and Dwayne gave me small smiles, which I returned. As we walked I felt myself really start to relax into Paul. His arm tightened around my waist and he smiled down at me, giving me a short kiss.
We started on the giant wooden roller coaster at the far end of the boardwalk and slowly snaked our way back to the front. We rode the Ferris wheel twice-mainly because Marko and Paul were fighting over who would ride with me in the small cart-and then we hit the Tilt-a-Whirl before playing some games, where David had won a massive, wildly striped hot pink and teal blue zebra for me. We ended the night with a ride on the carousel, watching as people started to clear from the boardwalk. David and Dwayne were leaning up against some horses two down from mine and Marko was laying across the back of his horse, watching the world pass by in an upside-down blur. I shuddered as my stomach twisted at the thought.
Paul was standing next to the horse I was on, just behind me with his arm still wrapped around my waist. He had not removed his arm other than for getting on the rides, thankfully. At this point it felt like that was the only thing holding together everything that wanted to fall apart.
My heart still contained an empty spot that seemed to have a constant ache, but the energy of the boys allowed that ache to soften, going from a bright burning pain to what felt like smoldering embers.
I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his waist, bringing him even closer to me. He shot me a bright smile back and kissed the top of my head before letting his head rest against the top of mine. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of joy and safety that seemed to emit from every space of his body.
"How are you feelin', Sunshine?" Paul whispered.
"I'm...okay," I hummed, looking away from his curious stare to look at the thinning masses. "It still hurts, it'll probably hurt for a while, but you guys distracted me and I had a lot of fun tonight. It made everything so much easier to bear. Thank you, Paul."
"We'd do anything for you, Sunshine. Anything." He pressed another kiss, this time to my temple. At Paul's statement the other boys looked up and sent me large smiles. I smiled back while wiping away my tears.
