Big shout out & love to my Alphabet - MissyJAnne85 & Caitlincheri28. I love you & none of this is possible without you!
I just want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I think we can all agree that this year has been rubbish and we cannot wait to tell it exactly which cliff to jump off of... Let's hope next year is a little brighter. See you all on the sixth!
No trigger warnings this week, lovelies!
Spotify playlist has been updated with this week's songs (listed in the end comments) and can be found here.
Hermione landed with a thud on the ground. Draco, barely managing to keep his footing, pulled her up.
"Fuck me, never again will I use an International Portkey. That was brutal," he said, holding his head.
Hermione groaned in agreement. Together they walked towards the castle, the gates opening for them as if they were expected, which Hermione supposed; they were. At least, she probably was. If the Portkey had been arranged legally, Narcissa would have had to receive McGonagall's approval to get this close to the castle.
Draco was quiet as they walked. Brooding, Hermione suspected. Their conversation with Narcissa had not gone well and was not how Hermione had hoped to start things off with the woman, but it was done now.
"Are you alright?" She asked him nervously.
"Would you like me to be honest, Granger?"
"Always," she breathed, "always be honest with me, please."
Draco looked down at her and then quickly away and back to the castle. They were almost at the entry point now.
"No, Hermione. I'm not alright. I hated every single minute of seeing my mother in Belgium. From the moment I smelled her perfume, I knew it was all going to the dogs."
Oh, Hermione thought. That's how he'd known it was Narcissa in the room.
"What are we supposed to do now?" He asked her, running his free hand through his hair, mussing it and making it stand on end. "We'll never get past my father. He'd rather die than let me marry you."
Stung, Hermione swallowed harshly. She must have flinched as well because Draco looked down and squeezed her hand.
"Sorry," he said quickly. "I should have rephrased."
"No, it's alright. It's the truth, I suppose. Even if it is twisted and ridiculous. He's entitled to his opinions, just as we're entitled to ours. We have the upper hand in this situation, though."
"Do we?" Draco asked, pushing the doors open. "Enlighten me, Granger, because I must be missing something."
Hermione shrugged. "We're right, and he's wrong. If there is one thing I have learnt over the years, Malfoy, it's that if you are in the right, things usually tend to work out well for you."
Draco laughed harshly. "Maybe if you're on team Potter, Granger. We don't have that luxury, I'm afraid."
They were both silent as they climbed the numerous staircases to get to the fifth floor and their dormitory. Headmistress McGonagall was standing outside of their dorm, conversing with Anne Boleyn when they arrived.
"Ah, Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy. I see you've made it back in one piece. Have a good holiday, did you?"
"Er, yes, Headmistress, we did," Hermione blushed.
"Cut rather unfortunately short," Draco added, his tone hard.
"Yes, I must say that I am surprised to see you, Malfoy. I was informed by your mother only this morning that you would be finishing out the school year from home."
"Yes, well. My mother is still operating under the assumption that I will do whatever she asks without question. She has also forgotten that I am no longer underage and am quite capable of advocating for myself."
"Quite so." A small smirk graced McGonagall's face before she returned to her carefully schooled neutrality. "Well, welcome back to Hogwarts, both of you. Classes start as usual at nine sharp on Monday. I'm sure that neither of you has forgotten that you are also responsible for arranging study guides for those participating in N.E.W.T's and O.W.L's this year, have you? Student's tend to forget how quickly four weeks can go when they're fresh off a spring holiday."
"Thank you for the reminder, Professor. We're on top of it," Hermione smiled.
"Very well, I'll leave you to get unpacked. Good day to you both," McGonagall said, leaving them behind as she made her way down the corridor.
Draco and Hermione shared a glance before they stepped through the portrait hole and into their living quarters. Hermione collapsed onto their favourite sofa and rested her legs over the back of it.
"My goodness, I'm tired," she said with a yawn. "That Portkey really took it out of me. Thank Merlin we still have a day before classes begin. I'll need that time to revise. There's no way I can concentrate on school work for the rest of tonight."
Draco stifled a yawn of his own and sat down next to Hermione, lifting her head onto his lap, he tangled his fingers in her curls.
"What are we going to do, Granger?"
Hermione didn't need to ask what he was referring to; they hadn't exactly finished their earlier conversation.
"We're going to keep on going where we left off. We will continue our research and adjust what we can to our new information."
"What new information?"
"That the head of the family holds all of the cards. We thought that we were looking into magic created centuries ago, which is partially true, but the magic must still live on—through your father. He's the head of the family, so, I believe that is something new to look into. Perhaps it is the something we have been missing. Draco," Hermione sat up excitedly, "this could be the key to everything!"
"You really are something, Granger. Did you know that?" Draco threw her a wry smile as he sent his trunk floating up to his room.
"I think I may have heard something similar to that effect before," she beamed at him, kissing him soundly on the mouth. After a moment, she settled back down in his lap.
"I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I'm so lucky to have you. I still have to pinch myself sometimes, to make sure that you're here. We'd better find the answer to this curse, Granger. I'd like to be the first Malfoy man able to marry for love."
"Don't your parents love each other?" Hermione asked, surprised.
Draco scoffed. "I think once, maybe, but certainly not for very long, and it didn't start out that way for them. It was an arranged marriage, just like they usually are in the Sacred Twenty-Eight circles."
"How do you know that they loved each other once?"
"When I was younger, I watched my parents argue. They were in the garden, and I was looking through my bedroom window, I opened it just a little so that I could hear what they were saying. I saw my mother cry and curse in the wind. It was the first time I'd ever heard her use profanity. I was eight, and it still shocks me to think of it," Draco paused. Running his fingers through her hair, he continued, "My father, he turned and walked away—leaving her in the garden. She ranted at my father's back about breaking her own heart and needing to reassemble it. I watched my father carry on walking as if she hadn't said a thing—but I could see it in his face. It was like—like he was trying to never let himself forget. That moment, or that feeling, I don't know—but I've never seen him look that broken. Not before or since that day."
Hermione said nothing, just caught at one of his hands as it passed by her face. She brought it to her lips and planted a small kiss on the back of it, between his forefinger and his thumb. Draco smiled sadly down at her.
"That day, at the ripe old age of eight, I swore to myself that love didn't exist. That it couldn't—because all I could see, all I could hear was pain where there should have been love. I've always lived like that, Hermione—keeping a comfortable distance. Up until the beginning of this school year, I had convinced myself that I was content with loneliness—because letting you in wasn't worth the risk."
Hermione's eyes started to water, but she pulled herself together. She wanted to be strong for Draco. This was the first time he'd ever opened up about his parents. The first time he spoke of his childhood. The first time he talked to her about the feelings behind why he pushed her away—and not just the reason.
He smiled at her again, genuinely this time. "You, Hermione Jean Granger—you are the only exception, and I'm on my way to believing again."
Hermione sat up slowly, moving so that she had a knee on either side of his legs. She placed a gentle hand on either side of his face and kissed him sweetly for just a few seconds. Draco let his arms encircle her and hold her close. Resting her head on his, she struggled to find the right words to say.
"I've got a pretty tight grip on reality, you know, and I can tell you right now, Malfoy, and I hope you hear me—that I'm not going to let go of what I see in front of me here. You are mine, just as I am yours. Do you need further proof that this isn't a dream? That this is you and me, that we're together? Listen to me, trust me. Your parents can say what they like. Let your uncle come after us, there's a whole flock of Aurors on his tail now, and we're getting prepared for all possibilities. So, stop thinking of the negatives, focus on the positives, and we will get through this—together."
Draco watched her face and searched her eyes, and found nothing but sincerity and love.
"Together," he repeated and pulled her close, kissing her until they couldn't breathe.
Hermione and Draco worked for an hour on the N.E.W.T preparation tables for their fellow students which were distributed throughout the first day of term. Whispers and gossip still seemed to follow them wherever they went, but after their confrontation with Narcissa, it all seemed like child's-play. They had bigger fish to fry and, now that they had a new direction for their research, Hermione felt like she could change their own timetables a little bit to reflect more time for their exams.
"Do you think it will be ok to drop Friday evenings of curse research and add in more Arithmancy revision? It's my favourite subject, and I really want to do it justice," Hermione told Draco on a Thursday evening.
"How about we just alternate them? One Friday for Arithmancy, and one Friday for curse-breaking. I know the exams feel like they're more important because we're facing them right now, but I don't want to lose momentum on this," Draco replied pensively. There was a strain in Hermione's voice that he didn't like the sound of. The build-up of work was starting to get to her with the N.E. impending deadline.
"Yes, I suppose you're right. It's just that I'm starting to get a little nervous about the exams. They're creeping up really soon, and I want to do well. Not just well—I want an O on all of my subjects," she confessed.
"I have every confidence that you will be able to achieve that, Granger. You doubt yourself too much!"
Hermione sighed and leaned into his side, flipping through her Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. Arlidge had assigned them a three foot essay on the importance of defensive duelling - blah blah. She was feeling a little sick looking at what she'd written so far, she knew it wasn't up to par. She contemplated throwing it into the fire just to see it burn - maybe that would make her feel better.
"Are you alright?" Draco asked her. "You look a little green."
Hermione swallowed down her nerves and looked up at him. She was sitting on the ground, her notes and essay spread before her on the Engorgio'd coffee table. Draco was sitting behind her on the lounge, his head buried in an old journal of some distant relative.
"Yes, fine. Just thinking of the exams and this damn essay. Why did it have to be on duelling?"
"Do you need some help?" He offered, sweetly.
"No. Thank you, but no. I just need to buckle down and get to it." Hermione said decisively, putting her quill to the parchment once more.
"Why don't we take a break tomorrow instead? Invite some friends over, have a drink or two. We haven't spent any time with our friends since we've been back. It'll do us some good."
"But what about the Arithmancy?"
"You can get a couple of hours in before they get here," Draco reasoned.
"I—yes, alright then," Hermione conceded. "Who would you like to invite?"
The next evening, Hermione ploughed through her Arithmancy homework, getting as much done as possible before their guests arrived. It felt so formal to think of her friends that way, strangely mature - as if she and Draco were playing house. They were, she guessed. They did live together, and while they had separate rooms, they never slept apart. Aside from the odd class and mealtimes, they were always together.
What would they do once they left Hogwarts? Hermione had just assumed that she would move back in with her parents, work for a few years and then find a place of her own. Now—now she had Draco to consider. After living with him for a year, it felt like a step backwards to go back to living separately. But what was the alternative? There was no way he could move in with her and her parents, and the idea of her moving to the Manor was just laughable. She still stood by the fact that they were too young to consider getting married, and that was really just a hop, skip, and a jump away from moving in together. Hermione groaned. What had they gotten themselves into?
Lost in her contemplations, Hermione was startled to find that Luna, Neville, and Ginny were standing in front of her—Draco standing just behind them.
"Earth to Hermione," Ginny called in a sing-song voice.
"Er, sorry everyone. I was a little lost up here," Hermione said with a smile, tapping a finger to her temple. With a wave of her wand, her homework flew up to her bedroom, and she moved in to give her friends a quick hug each.
"Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini are requesting entrance," said the secondary portrait of Anne above the fireplace.
"I'll get it," Draco said, disappearing again.
"Drinks?" Hermione offered. With another wave of her wand, she conjured a table with snacks and a selection of drinks. Happily, she poured her friends their preferred drinks, selecting a red wine for herself and pouring two fingers of Firewhiskey for Draco.
"Looks good, Granger. I'll have one of those, too," Blaise said with a wink.
"Add another for me," said Theo, suddenly appearing next to her.
"Yeah, yeah. You're both perfectly capable of getting your own drinks, you know?"
"But you just look so good while you're doing it," Blaise said flirtatiously.
"Get your own fucking drink, Zabini!" Draco said, coming to wrap his arms around Hermione from the back.
Hermione relaxed into his frame, and shrugged non apologetically at Blaise, cheekily reaching across him to hand a tumbler of whiskey to Theo with a wink before letting Draco pull her away. Blaise chuckled good-naturedly.
If Hermione was nervous about her friends mingling with Draco's, she needn't have been. Hermione sat on one of the steps leading to her bedroom, sipping her wine, and observing their odd little party from afar. Ginny joined her, and together they sat in companionable silence, enjoying the atmosphere around them. In the strangest of pairings, Blaise and Neville had gathered in a corner, Neville animatedly explaining something to the Slytherin, his drink sloshing precariously onto the floor. Luna watched on bemused, and Hermione had an inkling that her friend knew precisely what Neville was talking about. Blaise needed to pick his jaw off of the floor several times as Neville said something new to shock him. The two young men laughed together as Neville shared his secrets.
Draco and Theo occupied the sofa, a game of exploding snap between them. Theo, having already put quite the dent in the bottle of Ogden's Finest, was losing spectacularly to a gloating Draco. A loud bang sounded through the room, and Theo yelped, jumping to his feet and proceeding to hop in a circle, his pant leg on fire. Draco was howling with laughter as Hermione went quickly to his aide. With the fire out, a small burn to his thigh mended, and his pants restored, Theo returned to his carefree state once again. Blaise managed to cajole everyone in the room into several rounds of the game with a new set of rules—rules he had adapted himself in an attempt to get everyone drunk. Hermione turned out to be an excellent player, hardly needing to take a shot at all. The evening passed in a blur of fun, drinking, laughter and ridiculous takes on wizarding games. It was refreshing, and just what Hermione needed to relieve some stress.
The next morning, Hermione regretted it all. She woke early - far too early and hastily conjured herself a bucket. There was no conceivable way for her to make it all the way to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of her stomach in the appropriate place. The third time she retched, Draco rolled over and sat up beside her, rubbing soft little circles on her back and holding her hair away from her face.
"Are you alright?" He asked softly as she vanished the contents and wiped her mouth.
"I've been better," Hermione admitted, swiping at the water coming from her eyes. "I guess I shouldn't mix my wine with Firewhiskey," she laughed once without humour.
Draco conjured her a glass of water which she accepted gratefully. As she sipped, she clutched her head. It was the mother of all hangovers; vomiting, headache and all over queasiness.
"Thank Merlin, Morgana, and Magic that it's Saturday," she whined, setting aside the water and falling back against the pillows. "Someone really needs to invent an anti-hangover potion. They'd make a million galleons in their first year!"
"I'll get you a Pepper-Up," Draco said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"No, don't," Hermione said, reaching for his hand. "It's still early, and I'd like to try for a few more hours of sleep."
"Alright," he conceded, falling back into bed and pulling her to fit snuggly beside him. "It's just so odd. I don't remember you having that much to drink."
"Mmmph," Hermione agreed, "must have just been the combination. Plus, I didn't eat much at dinner."
"Hmm," he agreed, closing his eyes.
Several hours later, Hermione cracked open her eyes, feeling more than a little sorry for herself.
Draco looked up from his desk where he had been studying.
"How are you feeling, Granger?" He asked tentatively.
"Like shit," she responded.
"Hmm. Breakfast is over, but I saved some things for you," he waved a plate enticingly in her direction.
"Bacon?" She asked hopefully.
Draco nodded once.
"Hashbrowns? Pancakes?"
His eyes twinkled.
"Coffee?"
Hermione was slowly getting to her feet, but his grin had her moving faster than her brain and body could accept. She grabbed hold of the bedpost to steady herself. She waited a few moments before making her way over him and the delicious, yet nauseating smells coming from the plate.
With a small moan, she fell upon the offered food.
"I love magic," she said around a mouthful of greasy breakfast foods. "It's all still hot!"
With a small smile that hurt her head, she reached for the coffee. "What time is it?" She asked.
"It's time for your Charms revision," Draco told her.
Hermione dropped the food back onto the plate. Charms was scheduled after History of Magic, which was after Ancient Runes. It must be well past noon!
"Why didn't you wake me?" She asked accusingly, cradling her coffee. She was desperate to have a shower, but her books were calling just as loudly.
"You're not well today, you should take it easy and recover," Draco told her, his face the picture of concern.
Hermione scoffed. "Exams start in just over a week, Malfoy. I haven't got time to feel sorry for myself. I just need to have a shower, and I'll be right as rain. Keep my coffee warm, will you?" She asked, clutching her head and leaving the room on unsteady legs.
Draco watched her go with a shake of his head. If anyone was going to pass their N.E.W.T's it would be Hermione, even if she took the whole week off. She was one determined witch - which was just one of the many things he loved about her.
Half an hour later, Hermione arrived back in Draco's room, clad in her ridiculous fluffy pyjamas and giant slippers. Her hair hung in wet tangles down her back.
"Feeling better?" Draco asked her.
"Minimally," Hermione replied, holding her thumb and forefinger a centimetre apart from each other to indicate just how little the shower had improved her well-being. "I'll take that Pepper-Up now, I think," she winced.
Draco moved swiftly to his cabinets and unearthed his store of potions. He located a neon-orange vial, neatly labelled as a Pepper-Up and handed it to Hermione, who accepted it gratefully. He watched her swallow it in one, steam rushing from her nose and ears.
"Better?" Draco asked her, running his hand lightly up and down her arm.
Hermione considered, tilting her head from left to right—as if that could determine whether or not the hangover had lifted.
"A little," Hermione finally answered. "Not as much as I had hoped, but enough to open up my revision."
Draco frowned. This was starting to sound less like a hangover, and more like she was actually coming down with something. Hardly surprising, given their Belgian excursions had been mostly accompanied by brisk April winds and large amounts of rain. Then upon their return to Hogwarts, she had been tireless in her pursuit of knowledge—both for school and for their current predicament.
"Maybe you should go and see Madam Pomfrey," he suggested, removing the book from her lap.
Hermione pulled the book back from his grasp and looked up at him. "I'm fine, Draco, really. I'll be just fine come this evening. Let's just get to work, and before we know it, it will be time for a break."
Not bloody likely, he thought darkly as he left her to her studies and went back to his own. Over the next few hours, he found his mind and his eyes wandering in her direction even more than usual. When she sighed and shifted positions for the hundredth time, Draco closed his book with a thud and turned to her.
"That's it," he said. "We're going outside for a walk. We're going to get some fresh air and then be the first ones to arrive for dinner."
"A walk isn't on the schedule, Malfoy," Hermione rolled her eyes. "We don't have time for diversions. The N.E.W—"
"Are in just over a week, I know, Granger. But we're not going to make it to the exams if I suffocate you with my pillow for being so stubborn, are we?"
Hermione paled, but a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth.
"I suppose not, no," she answered with a chuckle. "Ok, fine—but when we come back from dinner, we get straight back into it, alright?"
"Whatever you say, Granger. Whatever you say," Draco agreed with an air of nonchalance.
They walked through the castle grounds together, hand in hand. Hermione hated to admit it, but this had been a great idea. The fresh air rolling off of the Black Lake had been just what she needed, the grass freshly cut and the flowers blooming smelled like new life; fresh and exhilarating. It put a spring in her step and a lightness in her heart. Draco felt the tension leave his shoulders as he watched Hermione transform in the early Spring air. This was what she had needed—to get out of their stuffy rooms and feel the breeze on her skin, see the birds flit from tree to tree, and watch the smoke twirl lazily into the air from Hagrid's cabin.
She hummed, her magic and her happiness buzzing around her. She was a sight to behold.
"Feeling better?" He asked, a knowing smirk on his face.
"Much," Hermione admitted. "How about you?"
"Hmm," Draco pondered, taking a seat in the dewy grass. "I think I'll be regretting this tomorrow," he said with a wink. "When you come in swinging like Apollo for all the study time we missed."
Hermione joined him on the grass, swatting at his arm.
"I won't be able to see straight," he joked. "I'll hyperventilate when I see how much you add to the study guide and then my knees will wobble under the weight of books you give me. Seriously," he added with a wink.
Hermione tried to hold back her girlish giggle, but it escaped in a rush of air.
"Just your silhouette with all those books will make me break a sweat. Fuck me, I'm in trouble. Let's turn around and hit the books, Granger. Some fresh air isn't worth it!"
Hermione beamed at him, enjoying seeing him joke and have fun— even if it was at her expense. She eased on to her back and relaxed as she watched the clouds pass in a lazy dance across the sky.
"I am stressed about the exams," she told him. "I feel like I have been working towards them for my entire life—well, at least since coming to Hogwarts. I don't know how to not be worried about them. Something in me just breaks at the thought of failing. I'm sorry if it feels like I'm no fun anymore. Once the exams are over, I think things will go back to normal," she said, pulling up blades of grass and rolling them between her fingers before flicking them away and starting over again.
Draco joined her on his back for a few moments before rolling on to his side to face her.
"You know exactly what you're doing when it comes to these exams, Granger. You're not the type that's used to losing - academically or otherwise. I, myself, can speak from personal experience; when you want something, you go after it, and you claim it. You're so capable of anything and everything. You can build me up, and with just a touch; leave me in complete ruins—"
Hermione started to protest, but Draco placed his hand gently over her mouth, effectively silencing her. Hermione's eyes danced in reproach as she considered him. He watched her carefully.
"There's just something about your eyes when I look into them, all these little flecks of gold stand out through the amber—and I feel like maybe I couldn't even walk in a straight line, as if I'm under the influence of Firewhiskey or something. I think I lost my head somewhere back in September when McGonagall asked me to be Head Boy. I wonder sometimes if I'd make different choices if I knew how this was going to go, that I'd love you, lose you, risk your life, and get you back again—but I'd do it again. So either I've seen the light, or I'm losing my mind—there's something about you, Hermione—that's got me dazed and confused."
He took his hand from her lips, and she rolled onto her side, better to face him, she thought. She watched him for a moment, those amber eyes darting across his face and landing again and again on his lips. She leaned forward and pressed against him. Hermione poured in all of her love and adoration, her past hurt and her comfort. She let her worries drift away, to be replaced by the scent and the feel of him. In this year that had somehow become just as dangerous as its predecessors, she had somehow found the man of her dreams. She had found Draco Malfoy.
She pulled away and rested a palm against his cheek. "Sometimes I have to wonder if this is real life, or if I've got my head right. What will happen if I open my eyes? But there you are, just perfect in everything that is so you—so Draco Malfoy. We can do this, Draco. We will make it work. I can feel it in my bones."
"Merlin, I hope you're right," he said, pulling her to him once more and capturing her lips in a sweet little kiss. "Now let's go and get some dinner. I don't know about you, but I'm starving!"
The Only Exception - Paramore.
Dazed and Confused - Ruel (please look him up, because he is amazing!)
Again, wishing you all a lovely holiday season!
