Chapter 14: Denial
Holy ass crackers, Sorry for the very long wait!
This chapter finally marks a new arc, where our perspective will remain by Bonnie's side for the entirety of it. I'm also adding an OC from kyled91doc, which is quite a rare sight since I don't usually make requests for OC's, but I'll do if it's absolutely necessary.
I'll try to make these slightly longer than usual, to compensate for my absence.
And so, let's continue on with the story shall we?
Seconds.
Minutes.
Hours.
It all didn't care for me.
Time was of no matter for me.
All I wanted to do was stay like this forever. To waste away into nothing.
No one would care.
No one.
Not even my best friend.
Not even my trainer.
I could feel my bloodshot eyes sting from constant weeping. A small puddle had formed beside my head where I lay it upon for a decent amount of hours.
I could see that the Sun's amber rays were coming to a close as it descended down the horizon, taking it's slumber as the Moon took the night shift. The cold wind brushed my fur and filled my ears as the sound of silence returned.
I can't cry anymore, I had no more tears to expel. I hated that.
I sat up on he floor as she observed my surroundings. Night was approaching, and sleeping on the cold floor out on the path was not an option.
I got up slowly.
I took a deep breath.
I exhaled.
'He'll come back for me...'
'He wouldn't be so emotional then...'
'Yeah... He'll come back...'
I felt my neck. My claws caressed my trainer's parting gift. Upon contact with it, I heard a quiet message invade my mind.
"Don't worry, she's alive...barely."
I held my pokeball in a tight grip, my hands trembling as I did so.
'You...this is your fault...you bitch.'
Before I could contemplate any further, I heard the sound of crackling.
...
Crack.
There it was again.
My head turned to where the sound originated.
A small, dim light glowered in the dark.
It was orange.
It was a fire.
A fire...Someone could've made that...
And soon enough I heard a voice.
A male voice.
It was too good to be true, right?
He couldn't have returned so quickly...right?
Maybe he did care for me. Maybe he came back for me. He must have! I mean, it's so close the where I am...And tutu girl's teleportation couldn't take them too far right?
I dashed towards the light, towards my salvation.
Towards my trainer once more.
I knew he couldn't leave me, I just know that he couldn't.
The dim light grew brighter and brighter, he was so close. Soon enough, I'll be back with him again. Back in his arms.
Back in my life.
I leapt across the bush that divided me from him, and I saw him once more.
I lunged at him in open arms as I took him in his embrace, I could see the surprise in his hazel eyes as he saw me.
Wait...
Hazel eyes?
Rai never had hazel eyes.
I looked up at 'Rai'.
As I thought, it wasn't him. It couldn't be. I knew that it was too good to be true.
"Holy shit! Blaze, I found a large chicken!" My impersonator spoke.
"Well, heeeelllooo sweet cheeks." I heard a deep voice behind me.
My arms immediately let go of this illusion of Rai as I turned around.
What I looked at was almost twice my size.
A round patch of fur dominated his belly, cream colored like my fur. It continued down its body, probably to his tail too.
His body was rather large, enough to encompass me.
AS I expected, I noticed a rapidly growing bulge where I expected it to be.
It's half-lidded sapphire eyes bore into mine as a small smirk came into his maw.
"It's nice to see one of my own kind out here, I'm getting sick of these leaf types." He spoke, his gaze never faltering.
I jumped back from he duo, separating myself from them as the fire that served as my wall.
"Are you lost...girl?" The curly haired imposter spoke.
"Have you been...caught?"
Slowly, I nod.
This kid will never catch me, nothing in the world can let him do that.
I belong to Rai, and Rai only.
"Of course she's been owned! she has that ribbon on her!"
"I can give you something better to wear! I'm filthy rich after all."
"Baka! Never go around saying that you're rich! You'll get mugged!"
"I have you to protect me, that's why I took you right?"
"Maybe the next time we get mugged I'll let them take your money."
"Fine, I'll just keep you in your pokeball when mating season arrives."
"YOU WOULDN'T DARE, VIRGIN."
"LEAF FUCKER."
"AT LEAST I'VE FUCKED SOMETHING."
I silently watch the two idiots bicker until his trainer takes him back into his ball.
"...Sorry about that." He said as he puts earphones on, supposedly to translate what I'm about to say.
"So, what's your name?" He spoke softly.
Oh no, you aren't getting anything from me.
"There's no need to know."
"Ok...well then why did you jump out of nowhere and hug me? were you somehow attracted from a distance? That happens quite often." He smiled as he gave those sickening words.
"I thought you were someone else." I replied blandly.
"I can be anyone you want to be. That is, if you let me catch you." He eyed my pokeball.
"The more you try to smooth talk me, the lower your chances will be of catching me." I glared at him.
As much as I hated this new trainer, I needed somewhere safe to sleep, and it's either go with him, or risk sleeping on my own.
Actually, I'd rather sleep on my own. I don't want that monster of his anywhere near me.
"Ok, ok. Sorry."
"That's better." My gaze never faltered as he prepared more questions in my way
The crackle of the fire filled the silence as we stood on both ends, me looking away as he observed me.
"So...what are you?"
"A fire type."
"My buddy Blaze is a fire type."
"And?"
"Nothing, he could use someone like you to cheer up his day."
"Yeah, 'use' me."
"Not like that, he just needs a friend."
I cross my arms as I looked at the curly haired trainer once more.
"As if."
"He's been quite lonely, since my all of team mates are male. He gets so giddy whenever he sees a female."
"I wonder why."
"Please. Just...hang around will ya? I promise to not catch you."
"Yeah, hang around with a bunch of male pokemon who are probably sexually frustrated, sure!" I said sarcastically before glaring daggers at him.
"I promise that they won't do anything. I swear."
"You sure promise alot."
"You can stay for the night and get fed. Or...you can find your trainer once more." He said quietly.
"Or...you can find Tracy once more..."
Rai's message briefly raced around my mind, reminding me about his proposition.
I could leave this dork...and continue on the night. I'm not sleeping with possibly 6 male pokemon within arm's reach.
I don't care if I pass out from tiredness. I'll walk.
I'll find him.
And he'll find me. I know he will.
I know that he couldn't leave me just like that.
He just cant.
He just...cant.
"I can only hope, that no matter whether Tracy or another trainer captures you..."
"That they could give you the compassion...and care that I failed to give you."
God dammit Rai. Why did you have to say that? I know you'll return! I just know!
I don't need another trainer. I just need you.
No-one could ever replace how you treated in that short time that we had.
No-one...
...
...
"Uh...hey? Earth to...whatever you are."
I could hear that annoying voice once more as I stopped mulling.
"Are you...crying?"
I realised that I was facing the floor. Small beads of tears left my eyes once more as they watered the grassy earth.
Maybe, maybe I could give this idiot a chance.
Just a small chance.
To see if what 'Rai' said could be true in the slightest way.
"So? are you willing to let me help you?"
"..."
Come on, do it. Throw this kid a bone.
"Fine...I'll stay." I croaked.
I could barely see him jumping, chanting as he shook his fists in the air as I looked at the floor.
"But know this."
He froze in his tracks.
"If you or your pokemon make any advances to me, I'll leave immediately...And I'm sure that wont go well for your sexually frustrated 'buddies'."
He nodded solemnly.
"I promise."
Taking a deep sigh, I sat down beside the fire.
"Well? what are you waiting for? are you gonna feed me or what?" I said, making him wince.
His face lit up immediately at the sign that I was staying.
"OH! Yeah! ok! I'll take some food out! Some people say that my food is like sex in the mouth!" He chuckled.
"Don't push it."
"Yes ma'am."
I stared blankly at the fire as the trainer set the bowls around the fire. He carefully placed mine on my side as he reached for his belt.
"Um...would you mind if I let my pokemon out?"
"Well, what? are you going to feed them inside there?"
Recognising my answer, he released three pokemon from their pokeballs.
One was the dragon I saw earlier. Another looked like crow with a navy colored hat on it's head. Finally, a long necked bastard that had leaves as wings all formed from the white light that soon dissipated.
Blaze turned to look at me once more.
"Well, hello again. I assume that you're here to stay? perhaps permanently?"
"Back off Blaze, let's let the guy settle in quietly for once." The small crow slapped his stubby legs with his wing. He puffed out his chest before speaking once more.
"The name's Night shade. I welcome you to our all male team." He bowed.
"She's a woman, Night shade. My woman,"
Night shade flinched slightly and looked at me once more, particularly facing my chest.
"You're right...She is a woman."
Immediately I cover myself as I glared daggers at the curly haired trainer.
"You know the deal." I hissed.
"Guys! back off. Or you'll scare her." He said.
"Is she scared? let me take her in my arms so I can calm her." Blaze flared his wings as as he reached his hands out.
"Make one more move and I'll disappear, leaving you even more frustrated." I growled as I crouched, ready to leave.
"Sh-she knows?" Night shade stuttered.
The trainer nodded fervently at Night shade's question.
"Ok, ok I'll back off. Blaze, you too. I don't want our new friend leaving on us because you are still horny."
"Of course I'm horny! I haven't had a fuck in a few weeks!" Blaze growled.
"How about us! I've haven't had one in months!"
"I don't care about you!"
Suddenly, the long necked one stepped forward, placing himself beside me as he silently ate his meal.
He faced me, his dark eyes staring at his food as he spoke.
"This is the reason why we scare off the women. It's because of those two idiots there."
Wow. Not one flirt, and he's even sitting next to me.
"Aren't you having the same problem?" I whispered.
For the first time, I'm making an actual conversation with another being, despite the subject being a bit too personal.
He nodded as he ate.
"Then why aren't you acting like them?"
"Because I'm not a child."
"Fair enough."
We ate in silence as Blaze and Night shade bickered away as they gobbled food in their mouths.
"At least I don't hump every single thing we come across!"
"At least I don't jerk off at night!"
"You jerk off at night!"
"Yeah!...But less!"
"Exactly!"
"Well at least I've actually fucked something!"
"Oh please! I've seen you take sleeping Wormadams you sick fuck!"
"At least they enjoyed it! they were moaning all the time!"
"YOU were moaning all the time!"
After dinner, I placed myself on the branches of a tree, distancing myself from the tent where the trainer and his pokemon were about to sleep.
I faced the moonlit sky. Searching for something that I could never find.
I had time to myself, time to think.
Time to think about what has happened.
Time to remember Rai. Time to remember moments with him.
The way he held me that night.
The night after the battle with Lucy's trainer.
I saw him, he was different. His actions...were different.
He went out of his way to protect her, to keep her form harm. He'd destroy the entire battlefield and win against her trainer. To prove that she was not useless.
But she was, she didn't do a single thing that night. Her former trainer was right, yet for some reason Rai never saw that.
Neither did Lucy, but she knew that she did in a way.
It's just now that I fully see him for what he is.
It just took me too long to figure out, even though it was all there in my eyes.
I know he cares for me. I know he does. And that's why he'll return.
That night, when he held us close to him, when he held me close to him. I could feel how warm he was, how soothing it felt.
I finally had someone beside me once more after such a long time of being alone.
I...
I miss him.
I miss Jessica, even that blue mutt.
I miss them all.
They've been like a family to me during my short stay.
Yeah..they-
My train of thought interrupted by the sound of flapping wings.
Night shade flocks down the nearest branch to speak to me.
"Hey..."
"Leave me alone." I snarled.
"I'm sorry for my friends and me for what we've done during your arrival."
"Great, you're sorry. Now leave before I roast you for trying to 'get closer' to me."
Night Shade flinched at my words. I'm not going to give a single damn about these pokemon. I'm keeping my distance from them as much as possible.
"I'm not doing that! I'm just...lonely, that's all."
"And what? I'm your solution?"
"To be honest...yes."
"At least you tell the truth."
"I'm sorry for being so forward, but I've spent so much time with my friends that I've never even thought of a female. Ever."
"But then I came along."
"Yeah, and when Blaze revealed who you are, all those feelings rushed back. The cravings...The loneliness."
"So in short, the feeling of sex came back."
"Um...yeah. But not just that, just the feeling that there's another pokemon of the opposite gender right in front of us. For the first time...I felt...happy. I don't care if you hate us, heck, I don't care if we never touch you. All I'm asking, is for you to stay with us."
"So, keep me as a reminder to not fuck me but only keep me to remind you that there are females out there? That's a really comforting deal."
"You can keep your distance for all I care, all I-we want is for you to just be there. Jack can take care of you, he's nice, even though he can gloat quite alot."
"I'll think about it. Now can you leave me in peace crow?"
"Uhh...yeah, I'll keep watch around camp, I'm nocturnal after all."
"Please don't jerk off when I'm asleep."
"I promise not to...when you're awake." Night shade whispered something I couldn't hear at the end before he left.
Soon enough, I'm left alone once more.
Good.
I close my eyes as sleep washes over me. The least I can do to calm myself is see Rai in my dreams.
See him speak to me once more.
Just...see him, that's all.
I'll never forget what he said to me.
-Flashback: The battle with Tracy-
Rai clung desperately onto Bonnie as Lucy held Rai's arm, sobbing uncontrollably.
He held Bonnie tightly in his embrace as he rested her head on his shoulders.
"Please...don't die..."
"Don't die Bonnie."
"I'm sorry that I put you into this. I should've listened, but I'm too stupid and over-confident to back down."
"I just wanted to prove that you aren't weak. Just that. I just wanted to make you happy, even if it meant putting your trainer in the wrong."
"But my confidence took over me, and now here we are."
"Im so sorry..."
"Please...don't die..."
With was strength she could gather, Bonnie weakly hugged him before passing out.
-Return to present time-
I should have never lashed out at him.
I was so occupied in returning to Tracy that everything that he'd said to me prior to that moment had briefly lost it's existence.
I hate myself for doing it.
I just want to say sorry.
And then, He'll return.
He'll drag me into his embrace. His warm embrace.
Please come back Rai.
Please.
Don't leave me alone.
Please...
And so starts the second arc of the story:
'The Stages Of Grief'
I won't make any promises. but know that this arc will have a happy ending :)
Gotta have some happiness in my story after all.
Stay tuned!
Bai
