A/N: A big thank you to everyone reading this story! Especially to those who bothered to leave reviews. No beta reader, all mistakes are mine. More reviews and requests are welcome. This story is Japril-inspired, prompted by a line Arizona said in 12x15. Less fluff for this story, I'm sorry!
SUMMARY: Arizona doesn't tell Callie she's pregnant.
"What if it had been us? I mean, what if we'd been trying, and then suddenly I was pregnant right when we split up."
We need to talk. Our on-call room. Now.
Arizona had just received a text message from Callie — which was strange, because she and Callie were not exactly casual since last week. Since Callie walked out of the therapist's office. As much as possible, both women tried to avoid each other in the hospital, and were only on speaking terms when demanded by work and Sofia.
The blonde exhaled deeply in exasperation. What could Callie possibly want from her? She closed the chart she was working on and made her way to what used to be their on-call room.
When Arizona arrived to her destination, an on-call room located at a part of the hospital where only a few nurses and residents would see them, she knocked twice before swinging the door open. She peeped through the small opening and there she saw Callie with her head down, striding back and forth in the cramped space of the room.
The ortho surgeon stopped her pacing and turned to the door when she heard it open. She greeted the woman now entering the room with a question, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Arizona flashed a confused look on her face and closed the door, "Tell you what?"
Callie rolled her eyes and glared at the blonde, "Oh don't play innocent, Arizona." The peds surgeon's forehead creased in confusion. Callie continued, "I know it was successful. I know the process was effective. Were you planning to tell me at all?"
"Damn it, April," Arizona muttered under her breath. She looked at brown eyes, "I was weighing on the idea. I didn't think I was obligated to tell you."
An offended look was drawn across the brunette's face. "What?!" Callie exclaimed in a much louder voice, startling the other woman. She sat on the bed and babbled in a softer tone and calmer voice, "You weren't obligated to tell me but didn't you think I deserved to know? Did you at least consider how I would feel about this? Why did I have to hear it from another person?"
"I was going to tell you, okay?! I just was figuring out how," the still standing blonde defensively countered, her back leaning against the wall opposite of the bed Callie was sitting on. "Besides, I can manage totally fine on my own. I'm not holding you to any responsibility whatsoever. I don't want you to feel suffoca-"
"Enough!"
Low blow. Arizona knew it was way too soon — not to add, provocative — to be mentioning that, but her stubbornness got the best of her. After the long, dreadful week she'd just had, all she wanted to do was go home, take a relaxing bath, and curl up in bed, hoping to trap herself into a pretty pink bubble.
Callie stood up and pointed her index finger at the blonde, her face red in anger. "Don't you dare use that against me!" She shouted — not loud enough to be heard by the nurses possibly eavesdropping outside the room, but loud enough to make Arizona jump in surprise. The brunette's expression softened when she saw the smaller woman's reaction. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. I just— Why didn't you tell me that the artificial insemination worked?" She said more calmly than before, but her exhaustion still apparent on her face.
Arizona looked down; her gaze pierced to the floor. She expounded almost inaudibly, "We split up. I didn't want you to feel like you had to get involved with the baby. I also knew you want nothing to do with me."
Callie's heart sank. She couldn't blame the blonde to feel that way. She knew she hurt the other woman with the things she said in therapy. But she had only said them because she, herself, was hurting too; and at that point, she felt that leaving was the right thing to do — for the both of them.
For the record, Callie never wanted to walk away. Not from Arizona. She wished to run away with Arizona. Away from the real world. Away from all their problems. But she knew she couldn't do that. Seeing that they weren't doing any good for each other, the ortho surgeon left. She put Arizona's — and her — happiness before her desire to be with the blonde for the rest of their lives. There were a lot of instances in the past when Arizona has put the brunette's happiness first, so now was the time to return the favor.
Callie walked towards Arizona until they were only less than a foot away from each other. This was the closest — both physically and emotionally — they had ever been since after their last day in therapy. The taller woman lifted Arizona's head and locked her eyes into hers. "I never said I want nothing to do with you," she declared with candor. She reached for Arizona's almost unnoticeable bump, which made the blonde jump in surprise. "And of course, I want to get involved with the baby. That may be your egg and some guy's sperm but it's mine as much as it is yours. We will figure this out. We went into this together, so we'll get through this together, okay?" The brunette whispered very gently. Arizona nodded in return, feeling all of Callie's love and care for their baby — and maybe, her.
Callie crouched down until the bump was on her eye level. She looked up the blonde, "Can I?"
"Sure," Arizona, albeit feeling a little hesitant, agreed and smiled softly.
The Latina leaned in and placed a hopeful kiss on the bump. This scene was familiar to both women as this was exactly just like about a year ago; only this time, they weren't married anymore. Tears started to escape from two pairs of eyes.
Callie wiped her cheeks now wet with tears. She then rubbed small circles on the bump with her fingers and started talking to the baby, "Hi, baby. I'm your Mama. I hope you hang tight there and avoid giving Mommy a hard time. I love you so much and I'm so excited to see you."
Arizona tried to hold back more tears that were threatening to fall. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Her heart melted at the sight. She'd missed Callie so much. She wasn't hoping or expecting for them to get back together, but she was, at the very least, grateful that despite everything they went through, Callie was there. She was still there. The blonde may not admit it to herself and to Callie, but she was terrified of going through this alone. Even with Sofia, she still has her doubts about being a good mom. But with Callie there, all her fears were dissolved. A mere smile from the Latina makes her forget the uncertainties she had.
The serene warmth that the pregnant woman had been feeling was disturbed when Callie stood from her position and looked at Arizona very seriously, "When did you find out you were pregnant?"
Arizona froze. She didn't want to answer the question. "It doesn't matter," she dodged the interrogation and turned away from Callie. She reached for the doorknob.
Before the peds surgeon could open the door, Callie held her arm. She demanded with pleading eyes, "Answer me."
Arizona took a look at her pager as it beeped. "You know what? I'm not doing this right now. I have work to do. Bye," the blonde freed her arm from Callie's grasp and opened the door.
"We're not done talking," Callie warned a little loudly as Arizona left the room.
"You paged me?" Arizona asked April as she reached the nurses' station.
April glanced up at Arizona and flashed a sorry look, "Arizona, I'm so sorry. I-"
"Save it," the blonde didn't let the younger woman finish.
April nervously continued explaining, "No. I'm really sorry. I thought-"
"April, stop," Arizona held both of the redhead's shoulders. "It's okay. Really," she nodded to the other surgeon.
"Really? Oh my god I seriously thought you were gonna kill me," April rambled.
"Uhm yeah, I thought of that for a second," the blonde teased. "But I figured she would find out anyway. Plus, you did the hard work for me. I don't need to think of ways how to tell her anymore," she let out a light chuckle, earning a soft chuckle and an eyeroll from April, who immediately left her alone after.
Callie exited the on-call room dumbfoundedly. She was walking through the hallways with her mind thinking about something else.
She still could not believe that she is going to have another child. That she and Arizona are going to have another child. Sofia is going to be an older sister.
She did not know what to feel about the news. She was confused. She was having mixed feelings. For one, she was obviously happy since another baby's coming their way. On the other hand, she was nervous about raising said baby given the situation they were in. What would this mean for her and Arizona, and their relationship? She had a million feelings, questions, and concerns that she needed to vent, which is why she wanted to talk to Arizona — who was probably feeling the same way she did — again.
Without noticing, Callie reached the attendings' lounge. She laid on the couch, her head settling on one armrest, and her feet on the opposite armrest. She stared blankly at the ceiling and started to overthink.
"That's some deep thinking you got there," the ortho surgeon's contemplation was disturbed by Bailey's voice.
"Arizona's pregnant," Callie replied monotonously while her gaze remained at the ceiling.
Bailey, who stopped in her tracks, wasn't able to reply in shock. The Latina added, "I told her I want to be involved."
"Do you want to be? Involved?" The general surgeon replied, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Bailey normally did not care about other people's personal lives, but with the situation her friend was in, she thought Callie could really use some insights; so, she made an exception.
A small frown creased the ortho surgeon's forehead, "Of course! I literally just said I told her I want to be involved."
Bailey, who was now sitting on the couch adjacent to where the other woman was laying, rolled her eyes, "Then what are you doing here, sulking on the couch?"
The brunette sat up and repositioned herself so that her back was now leaning against the armrest. She looked at Bailey, "I don't know if our setup is going to work. I mean, it's even hard with Sofia; how much more when another baby is added into the equation?"
Bailey knew that this was just the beginning of an ear-piercing rant, so she stayed silent and let Callie continue, "We basically avoid each other as much as we can and we can't even say a word to one another unless it's about work or Sofia; and now I will be raising a baby with her? What was I thinking? Our child's practically gonna grow up in a broken family. Hell, it's gonna be born into a broken family. The baby's gonna be confused, transferring from one home to another."
Callie paused her ranting for a moment, so Bailey took the opportunity to reply, "Hey, it's gonna be fine. Even since Sofia was a baby, she moved from your apartment to Mark's, and she turned out great."
"Yeah, but back then, her two moms were in love. And we had Mark. It may not be a conventional one, but we were a family. Even though Mark did not live with us, we were still a family. An unbroken one. Plus, he was just across the hall," Callie resumed her babbling, ignoring Bailey's words of encouragement. "And now, Arizona and I are two single moms. I don't know if I can even manage raising two kids on my own. I mean we obviously will be taking turns, but our situation just makes it more complicated." Callie sighed very deeply.
"Listen," Bailey looked at Callie in the eye and leaned forward. "Sure, your situation with Arizona does not make it easy at all, but both of you are great mothers. You have raised a beautiful, kind-hearted child, which I'm certain you still will for the second time around. Your baby will feel happy and loved because I know you and Robbins well enough. I know that you will not let your separation affect the baby. I know that you will put your children's interests before anything else. And I know that both of you will be the greatest parents that kid could ever have," she assured the brunette with more seriousness and conviction.
Seeming to take in all of her friend's words, Callie sincerely replied in awe, "Thank you."
Bailey nodded her head in response. She stood up from her seat and left the room.
Seeing that her shift just ended, Callie got up from the couch and changed into her street clothes. She gathered her things and went to the daycare to fetch Sofia, since it is her night with her.
When she reached the daycare, she saw Sofia sitting on Arizona's lap, Arizona sitting on one of those kiddie chairs. Sofia was drawing something, while Arizona was watching her. Callie noticed that the blonde was chatting with their daughter, though the conversation seemed one-way. She couldn't hear what Arizona was talking about but they seemed happy. Then, Arizona said something which made both the blonde and the little brunette laugh.
Witnessing the scene through the window, from outside the room, made Callie think. She missed it. She missed the little moments. The little moments when nothing else mattered. Not the leg. Not the cheating. Not their constant yelling to each other. Only their family. Arizona, Sofia, and her. Callie wondered whether she could still witness such scene as domestic when the baby arrives. It would have been lovely to be with Arizona in every step of the way. In every single day of her pregnancy. But she couldn't. Not anymore.
After a long while of watching them, Callie decided to enter the room.
Just as she stepped through the door, Sofia looked up from her drawing and saw Callie. "Mama!" She greeted, causing Arizona to also look up.
The ortho surgeon sat on the kiddie chair beside Arizona, "Hi, baby." Her daughter returned to her drawing while she turned to the blonde, "Hey."
"Hi," Arizona greeted. "I was just visiting Sofia but I'm gonna go now."
Before Arizona could remove Sofia from her lap and stand up, Callie replied, "No, no, no. It's totally fine. She hasn't finished her drawing anyway." The older brunette gestured to her daughter's drawing. "And I wanted to continue our talk. Can we?"
Arizona, feeling tensed, didn't say anything in response. Instead, she just nodded her head yes.
Callie added, "Not here, though. Can we do it at home? I'll cook dinner."
Home? It sure doesn't feel like home now. Not since Arizona moved out three days ago. The blonde stayed at Karev's, while the other woman remained at their house; the house they bought together.
Callie offered to let Arizona stay in their house while she was still looking for an apartment, even just in the guest room; but the latter insisted she moved out. The peds surgeon felt it would be much more difficult staying in the same house as Callie.
"Yeah, sure," Arizona replied briefly, avoiding eye contact with the Latina. "I'll have Karev drive me there."
"Don't bother. Just ride with us," Callie persisted.
Knowing she has no other choice, Arizona shrugged in submission.
The ride on the way home — or to Callie's place — and the dinner itself was excruciatingly awkward. Sofia did not talk that much yet; so, they were filled with silence, except for Sofia's babbling and the occasional pleasantries that the two surgeons exchanged.
After Sofia's bedtime routine, Arizona found herself sitting on their living room couch, while Callie poured a glass of wine for herself and a glass of milk for the blonde.
The brunette returned to the living room and handed Arizona her glass. "Thank you," the peds surgeon said softly. Callie took a seat on the opposite end of the couch where Arizona was sitting.
Callie took a sip from her own glass and put it on the coffee table. She began, "When did you learn about the pregnancy?" She looked at Arizona in the eye, "I need you to be completely honest with me."
Arizona cut their eye contact and looked straight forward. She took a rather big gulp on her milk and then settled it on the table. She paused for a moment before answering, "The morning of our last day in therapy."
Callie froze. She was not expecting this answer. A lot of questions entered her mind. Surprised for the umpteenth time that day, she exclaimed a little loudly, "What?!" She shifted to using a relatively mellow voice, "Why didn't you say anything?"
Arizona, still looking straight forward, confessed, "I was gonna, but that day ended differently than I expected. I was planning to tell you when we go home from therapy, but like I said, I didn't expect for us to be leaving the therapist's office separately."
"Still, you should have told me. We were sleeping in the same house that night. You had a number of opportunities to tell me," Callie gritted her teeth, her anger slowly showing on her face.
"It's not like we were talking to each other," Arizona retorted sarcastically. "Besides, it wouldn't have changed anything."
"You don't know that!" The Latina denied.
Turning to Callie, Arizona engaged in an eye contact with the other woman. "It wouldn't have. And if it would have, I didn't want you to have only stayed because of a baby. We both know that you and I deserve better than that. The baby deserves better than that," Arizona pointed out.
Callie defensively rebutted, "No, I'm not saying that I would have stayed just because of the baby. What I'm saying is maybe, if I knew about the baby, I would have tried harder to fix our marriage. Maybe, I wouldn't have walked out."
Arizona scoffed. "I believe what I did was for the best. At least I got to know how you really felt about our marriage. You made it just very clear," she emphasized her last sentence. "If I told you about the baby, I'm sure you would have stayed, you know. Even when you know you're unhappy. But I'm afraid that someday you're gonna end up resenting me, or worse, our baby," tears started welling up out of blue eyes. Arizona can't stand the thought of Callie resenting her, more especially their baby. She also knew that their baby deserved to grow up with two happy parents; so, she'd rather Callie be happy away from her than be miserable because of her.
"Wow. Give me a little credit, will you? I can't believe you'd hidden a very important information from me just because you were afraid of how our relationship was gonna affect our child," Callie taunted. She held out her index finger, pointing to the blonde, "I am better than that and you know that. I know better than to let my child grow up having parents with an unhealthy relationship. I know how it could affect them."
Arizona stayed silent. Callie drank a sip of her wine before she continued, "You know what bothers me more? It's the fact that you still did not tell me even days after our last therapy session; I had to hear it from other people. And if Kepner hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known at all!"
Arizona hung her head down and uttered softly, "I'm sorry. I swear I was planning to. It's just- I needed time to figure out how to break the news to you." She looked back up and stared at Callie in the eye. "And I was nervous about how you'd react." The brunette flashed a questioning look so she explained honestly, "I didn't know which agitated me more; the possibility of you owning up responsibility to our baby, or the possibility of you wanting no connection, whatsoever, with the baby — a baby that we decided to have."
Callie got the peds surgeon's point. She understood where Arizona was coming from. The decision must have been confusing for Arizona, especially that they had just separated and were discussing about signing divorce papers. She probably would have felt the same way if she was on the blonde's position. But still, she was hurt. Hurt because the pregnant woman confided to someone else first before telling her — not that Callie had the right to complain.
The Latina was still hurt; but knowing that her feelings should be the least of her concerns right now, she stepped up, "I understand. I am hurt, but I understand." Arizona exhaled deeply in relief. "There is no use in blaming you. The baby is more important than my feelings, so let's discuss about our arrangement," Callie proposed as she finished her glass of wine.
"Okay," Arizona obliged. "How involved do you want to be? Tell me, and we will decide whether it's possible or not. For things we don't agree about, we should be able to come up with a compromise."
"I want to be with you during every check-up, every exam, every doctor's appointment you will be having," the ortho surgeon demanded.
"What? I can do it by myself, Callie. You really don't have to-"
Callie cut off Arizona's sentence, "The check-ups and exams concern the health of the baby — our baby — which concerns me; so, I should be there."
"Fine," blue eyes rolled. "No naming the baby Agamemnon!" Arizona requested.
"What? Agamemnon's a pretty great-" Callie did not finish her teasing comment when Arizona showed a glaring look. She retracted, "I'm kidding! We don't want our child to be made fun of in playgrounds; so, no naming the baby Agamemnon." Callie smiled at the blonde, who smiled back.
"Good," Arizona commented as she drank a sip of her glass of milk.
"I need you to call me whenever you need anything," the brunette's smile faded, giving Arizona a serious look — which means she was dead serious about what she said. "And by anything, I mean anything. Craving something? Call me. Want a foot massage? Call me. Anything," she promised.
Arizona, brows furrowing and nose wrinkling, replied, "Uhm, no, thank you. I'm an independent woman, so I think I can manage." Arizona flashed a sardonic smile.
"Yup, and a stubborn one, too," Callie mumbled under her breath, which, luckily, Arizona didn't hear. She switched to a much more audible voice, "Fine. But you need to promise me that I'm going to be the first person you call if you need anything. Okay? If there's anything you can't do, call me. I'll do it for you."
"You got it," the blonde surprisingly agreed. "Although, I don't think I will be calling you that often," she teased, smirking proudly. The atmosphere is much less awkward and much more comfortable now, compared to a few minutes ago.
A pair of brown eyes rolled playfully. "I want to split all the expenses with you. Hospital bills, diapers, formula, baby clothes, and everything else," Callie proposed.
"You know, that's practically a given," Arizona said matter-of-factly. Then, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere further, she joked, "That's partly the reason why I agreed to our setup. Raising a baby is expensive." Her statement earned a light chuckle from the brunette.
The two women continued to exchange their terms and some other concerns. There were some things they unanimously agreed on, but there were far more instances where they differed. Fortunately, they were able to bargain. Before they could end their discussion, Callie had one last thing on her mind.
"Arizona? One last thing."
The blonde turned to Callie after finishing the last drop of her milk, "What is it?"
"I know this will probably be the stupidest idea you'll ever hear. And I certainly have no right to ask you this, given our impending divorce. This may also be a long shot but I still have to ask you this. Although, you don't have to say yes. You can always say no. I just want to check if you're up with the idea and I want you to really think about it," Callie babbled nervously.
"Callie, you're rambling. What do you want to ask me?"
The taller woman moved closer to Arizona; close enough to be considered intimate, yet, without invading the peds surgeon's personal space.
"I... want you... to move back home. Maybe not immediately. It could be during your second or third trimester. Or if you want to do it now, it would also be great. Even just until the baby comes. You could stay in the master's bedroom, and I will be staying in the guest room. It's totally up to you," Callie suggested, still nervous about how Arizona would interpret such proposition.
There was no hint of emotions in Arizona's face. She kept a straight face, an impassive facial expression, which made Callie even more anxious. The brunette explained in a rambling manner, "It's just that... given our history with pregnancies, we're not exactly the luckiest people in the world. I just- I want to be there with you 24/7."
Brown eyes made contact with blue ones, Callie stopping herself from reaching for Arizona's arm. Callie resumed, "I want to be there as fast as possible to cater to your needs. I mean, what if something happens — knock on wood — and Karev's not there to help you? It will help me sleep at night knowing you're safe and well taken care of. It would also be a lot easier during your nights with Sofia, because I will be here if she stresses you out or something; and I could give you a hand with anything you need. I wish to be personally there every moment of your pregnancy."
Callie tried to dial down her explanation since she knew Arizona hated receiving unwarranted help. It has been one of the issues in their marriage, after all.
"I know that you could do all these things by yourself, but I really just want to make sure you're unharmed and sound. I really couldn't afford to take another chance. Not with this one," Callie justified with pleading eyes.
With Arizona still silent and expressionless, Callie concluded, "You don't have to answer it right now. I want you to think about it. But if you don't want to, it's also alright; I'll understand. I just had to try."
Both women never broke their eye contact. Silence filled the room for a while, until Arizona spoke, "Okay."
"Okay? As in you'll move back in?" Callie broke into a big smile, happy that Arizona had accepted her offer.
The brunette's smile had caused Arizona to also flash her super magic smile. She replied, "Yup. I couldn't take another chance, too."
