By morning, I woke up in bed alone. With my eyes closed, I reached out for him but the sheets where he slept were ice cold and a part of me, even though it was expected, was somewhat disappointed.
I sighed, rolling onto my back gazing up at the fine cracks in the dull white ceiling. I just couldn't understand it. Why did this bother me so much? Just forget it, I urged myself. Don't be so bloody sensitive.
I groaned, dragging myself out of bed, deciding if I turned the kettle on now I could at least have a cup of tea before heading to the shop.
From the top draw, I grabbed a cigarette and smiled when I pulled on my robe, noticing the house was still nice and comfortable. I would have to thank him again for that. I lit the cigarette then pushed my feet in my slippers before heading downstairs but due to shock, I only made it down the first half and nearly dropped my cigarette.
"Shit," I whispered to myself.
The sight of John standing in front of the stove had me completely frozen. By now, I thought he'd be off taking the children to school but here he was, making fucking breakfast— in my kitchen. I took a step down, leaning against the wall, biting my lip taking in the sight of him. The man was shirtless, only in his grey slacks that rested low on his hips with the help of his belt and suspenders.
The defined muscles of his back flexed and tightened while he worked but I felt my face get warm from the noticeable raised red nail marks that trailed over his entire back.
"Morning," he simply said over his shoulder and I jumped a bit, nearly dropping the fucking cigarette once again.
"Shit," I whispered. I really had to pull myself together and stop lusting with my eyes open. "Morning," I replied, making my way into the kitchen.
I stood beside him, looking into the pot. Surprised it actually looked like food but his eyes fixed on my thin light pink nightie that reached down to my mid-thigh and smirked, eyeing me.
I looked down and rolled my eyes. My nipples were at full attention this morning. Nearly every part of me was aroused just standing so close to him. I was tempted to run my hands along his hips and down his pants, eager to have a repeat of last night on the kitchen table. Something about the bruising on his knuckles and the knick under his eye really did it for me.
"Hungry?" He questioned, his eyes meeting mine.
I nodded and he wrapped an arm around my neck bringing me to his warm chest with a quick kiss to my forehead. I was a fucking puddle. I couldn't ask for more, holding his sides with my eyes closed. He smelled so good and brought me this unexpected yet overwhelming warmth and comfort.
This sense of security I've never felt before washed over me but at the same time, it made me question how long it would all last.
"Sleep alright?" He questioned his lips against the top of my head. I nodded against him, wrapping my arms around him, accepting his affection. "Good, now on, go sit at the table, it's nearly ready."
"Okay," I replied, giving him the lit cigarette.
"Thanks love," he replied after a quick draw.
I put my elbow on the table and placed my head in the palm of my hand watching him move through my kitchen like he owned the place. Christ, he was an absolutely beautiful fucking man, everything that could drive a girl mad rolled into one. I sighed. There was no doubt I was in deep, probably in over my head. Somehow in just a few short days, John Shelby had completely wormed his way into my head and between my fucking legs. At this rate, I wasn't a lady in his eyes. Was there even a reason for him to court me still? I was too fucking easy. Just thinking about it made me feel like a common whore, a free whore at that.
With another heavy sigh, I picked up one of his pistols off the table, deciding to take a good look as I waited, trying to distract myself from negative, self-destructive thoughts.
"Careful with that love, it's loaded," he said, placing a plate of eggs and a slice of bread in front of me, with a cup of tea before joining me.
"I figured that much by the weight," I replied, putting it down to eat.
He smirked, reaching for the jam in the middle of the table as he sat. "You know guns?"
"Just a little. The one I have is a little smaller than that one but it's been ages since I've shot it."
His eyes brightened and a smile conquered his lips. "Pretty little thing like you carries a gun?" He questioned as he chewed.
I laughed, "not by choice I promise. Father says, sometimes a woman has to save herself," I replied and he simply nodded his agreement.
"Your father has always been a wise man," he said.
I looked up at the clock on the wall. "Speaking of the old man, I should see him today after work." It was too late to go now.
"Need company?"
"No, that's alright. He won't tell me what I need to know if you're there. His pride is the only thing that hasn't changed about him."
He laughed as he stood, placing another kiss on my forehead. "Try not to be too hard on 'em, eh. The old man must have his reasons," he replied and I rolled my eyes. Of course, he would side with him.
He took his plate to the sink and surprisingly rinsed it, drying his hands with a cloth as he approached the table. "Do you want me to wait for you to get dressed?"
"No that's alright," I smiled. "I'll only make you late, but thank you."
"Alright then," he said, grabbing his shirt off the back of the chair, taking his time to button it and pull up his suspenders. He strapped on the shoulder holster, pushing his guns back in place. When he grabbed for his jacket I followed him to the door and he took his coat and cap along the way.
He stopped in front of the door and turned to face me. "I guess I should thank you for letting me spend the night," he said, stepping into me and I cracked a smile, backing up a little. Feeling my heart bang away with a force against my chest.
"I should be the one thanking you for the wood. I don't know what I would do without you," I said.
"I guess we're even then," he replied. His warm hand met the back of my neck, fingers reaching in my hair as he gently guided me to his lips. I held onto his jacket for support as he gripped my hair bringing me closer. I was on my tiptoes, the butterflies in my gut in a fucking flurry.
When it broke, he kissed my forehead again but I more than loved the feeling. "Try not to be too late love," he whispered and I nodded in his hand. He smiled at me before he let me go.
With this growing cocky smile, he opened the door and started his way down the block. I leaned against the frame, crossing my arms as I watched him. I smiled when he looked over his shoulder to look back at me. Some of my neighbors stared and whispered as they walked by and I couldn't help but sigh and roll my eyes. I didn't doubt I'd soon be the fucking talk of the block but what could you do. For whatever reason, I couldn't tell John no.
As usual, the place was a bloody madhouse when I arrived. John was already at his station shouting the odds while eager people placed bets for the first race of the day. My eye caught Polly in the cage doing the morning tally, getting prepared for the first payout and headed for her.
"Morning Anna," Polly smiled as I walked in. "Put down ya' bag and start passing out the mugs for the beers. It's been busy since the doors opened and the boys need motivation."
"Yes Polly," I replied, dropping my stuff on the table. I hung up my coat and touched up my hair, hoping it was perfect in a single plat down my back.
From the side family room, I grabbed a few empty mugs by the handles carrying them out to the shop, placing them on tables and instantly waiting men smiled and said their thanks, as they filled their mugs from the full metal pale in front of them.
Arthur came through the back door with his usual fast pace stride, snatching his cap off as he made his way through the shop. "Morning boys!"
I placed another grip full of mugs on a table and Arthur was the first to fill a cup. "Good morning Anna, looking beautiful as always, love."
"Thank You, Arthur," I smiled.
He nodded my way. "Keep up the good work," he said before heading off towards the cage.
I delivered the last grip full of mugs before joining John. He was down to his vest with his arms crossed and a cocky smirk on his lips.
"Took you long enough," John teased. "Must every woman take a year just to get dressed?"
I rolled my eyes. "I told you I'd make you late. Were you at least able to see the children off?"
"Just in time."
"Well then, that's good. I don't feel as guilty," I smiled.
"John, let's go," Tommy called and John looked at me.
"I have some business I need to handle with my brothers. Make sure to take care of the place for me."
"Alright," I sighed. "No more fights then?"
"No promises," he smiled before taking off and I shook my head.
The day seemed to drag on without the Shelby brothers to keep the momentum and provide quality entertainment like only a Shelby could. At the end of the night Polly and I cleaned up and I headed out.
I shrugged on my jacket as I finally made it outside. A Blinder was leaning against the building, waiting for me I'm sure.
"See you in the morning, Anna," Polly said from the doorframe.
"Night Polly," I replied, fixing my bag. "See you in the morning."
I let out a heavy sigh as I made my way towards the hospital, passing a Blinder every now and then as they patrolled the blocks.
I looked up at the old hospital building and sighed again. I hated this bloody place with a passion, more than you could ever imagine. I couldn't wait for the day I would never have to come back to this place.
The staff all smiled at me as I passed by. I knocked on my father's room door before I entered, hoping I didn't wake him. He smiled at the sight of me like he always did. He even stood to meet me at the little table in the center. I watched how weak he had become since the first day he came here. His clothes seemed to droop off his shoulders a bit, he'd lost a bit of weight but they kept him well kept.
"Anna, what are you doing here so late?" He questioned, wrapping his tired arms around me.
"I just came for a visit. I missed you."
"I miss you too," he said, motioning for me to have a seat and he sat with me at the white round table. "How are you?" he questioned. "How do you like the shop?"
"It's interesting. It's different from what I expected but I'm surprised you thought I should work there," I admitted.
"I don't see why not. You have more in your head than most of the men that work there. Besides, I wanted you to be close to the boys," he admitted.
"Why do you need me to be close to them? What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself in now, old man?"
He chuckled, showing me this bright smile full of teeth. "I'm not in any trouble Anna. It's just the name I've made for myself that concerns me. Just the name. I'm an old man now but the Shelby boys are good boys. I wanted you to get to know them."
I smiled. Now I understood. "The Shelby boys may be good boys but they've found themselves in a bit of trouble."
Father sighed. "It comes with the lifestyle, Anna. It does worry me a bit, I must admit."
"You don't have to worry about me dad. I'm more worried about you in this place. How are you, truly?"
"I'm fine Anna," he assured me. "Everything is fine."
"Then when are you come home? It's been weeks. There has to be a reason why you're still here. You can tell me. I can take it, whatever it is."
"There's nothing to tell," he replied but I knew he was lying to me. So with a deep sigh, I stood to my feet and crossed my arms. He was just impossible and really left me with no choice once again. First, he forced me to move back to this ash-covered town and now this. I left my friends and a family I've come to accept as my own to be with him but he couldn't even be honest with me? "If you won't tell me what's going on then I guess I just won't leave."
"Anna, love be reasonable," he begged as he stood.
"You're the one being unreasonable," I spat. "All I want to know is how you're doing, truly. How bloody hard is that? But maybe in the morning, you'll be more willing to talk."
"Sweetheart this isn't a place that you want to spend the night. Go home and get some real rest," he pleaded, watching me dig a cigarette and a lighter out of my bag.
"How exactly do you expect me to sleep when you won't tell me anything? You've been here for weeks— weeks dad and no one wants to tell me anything. All I know is that the bill is being paid. Thanks not enough for me. I want you to come home, so I need answers."
He sighed. "Anna, have faith in me, everything is alright. You just try to be reasonable."
I chuckled as I lit the cigarette and took a long draw, "be reasonable? I'll be more reasonable when I see the doctor in the morning. Maybe he can tell me something that can help me to be reasonable."
A nurse was passing by in the hall and I made sure to catch her attention as I took another draw on my cigarette. "Excuse me, nurse."
"Yes, ma'am?" She answered with a bright smile but it faded when she saw my cigarette. "I'm sorry ma'am you can't smoke in here."
"I'm well aware but right now I need someone to bring me a cot and a blanket, please. It seems I'll be spending the night."
"I'm not sure it's appropriate for you to spend the night ma'am," she nervously replied.
"Please, I'm begging you, just get me the fucking cot," I spat.
"Yes ma'am," she said, hurrying off.
"Thank you," I said with a forced smile, closing his door.
I made a quick stop home to change before heading to the shop. To say the least, I was exhausted, aggravated and my body ached all over. It was hard to sleep in the hospital with the sick but I had to make my feelings heard.
A heavy sigh left my chest from frustration because even after my little stunt, I still learned nothing when the doctor made his round in the morning but there was always more than one way to force a man's hand.
The boys were already gone by the time I got to the shop but today that only fueled the madness. It was still busy just a little quieter without the Shelby brothers but by the afternoon the betting shop was nearly on the brink of fucking chaos.
The boys weren't there to keep the peace and the men that were had no effect on rioters. Polly made me promise to stay in the cage and out of trouble, hoping it would die down but after ten minutes she finally had it. She rushed to me, planting her palms on the table with a slam.
"Enough of this. Anna, it's time for you to pull your weight. I need you to go to the Garrison, get the boys. Hurry before the bastards tear the place apart," she spat. "Go out the back, hurry now, go on."
I grabbed my coat and nearly ran the whole way there. Smoke and puffs of fire bellowed from the factory as I passed in a hurry. Random people on the streets looked back at me as I passed them in a flash. I nearly stumbled into the Garrison.
"Can I help you?" The man behind the bar questioned.
"Where are the Shelby brothers?"
He pointed towards and door and I nodded my thanks. I was out of breath by the time I made it into the snug. All eyes met me as I pushed my way in completely spent.
"Anna, what the hell's happening?" John asked, pulling the toothpick from his mouth.
"Polly needs you at the shop, a group of men came in trying to place bets after the race had already started and got pissed when Scudboat told them that the bets were closed. They're causing a riot out in the streets ready to tear the place apart."
The three of them stood. Arthur picked up his cap, Tommy outed his cigarette and John downed his whiskey. They buttoned the front of their jackets as they made their way out the snug but John caught me by the wrist as I tried to follow behind Arthur.
"Not so fast sweetheart," he said, shaking his head.
Gently he pulled me back, pinning me against the wall, closing the door with his foot. Deep blue eyes fixed on my slim figure and I knew I was in trouble. I could feel my heart resonating in my chest.
"John, the shop—" I urged, holding onto his jacket.
"They'll manage," he simply replied. "I want you to answer me this. I stopped by your place late last night, you weren't home, where were you?"
I sighed. "I spent the night at the hospital with my father."
His eyes softened and so did his grip on my waist. "Is everything alright?"
I shook my head, feeling the tears pending in my eyes but I managed to blink them away. "I don't know. The doctors won't say much to me and I'm tired of it. I just want to know how he is."
"Have you talked to Tommy?"
I shook my head. "Not yet."
"You should," he replied.
"Then I'll do it today."
"Good. It'll be alright. Tommy will sort it out," he whispered as his fingers traced up along my jawline, reaching into my hair.
I closed my eyes giving in to the intoxicating sensation as he stepped into me. I was so stressed out and tired, all I wanted was a little bit of comfort. His lips pressed against mine as I gripped his jacket, pulling him closer, tasting the whiskey on his tongue.
His warm lips then met my neck forcing a small moan to escape my throat. He helped my coat off my shoulders and reality struck.
"Wait, John— we can't. Not here."
"Why not?" He whispered.
His warm breath brushed against my ear, completely clearing my mind. His lips then pressed against my neck and my head fell back against the wall. I held his head in my hand, my fingers reaching in his hair. Every part of me felt on fire, feeling a burning warmth in my knickers. Fuck.
His lips then crushed again mine and his hard front pressed against me, forcing me back against the wall. And with one quick effortless motion, he lifted me off my feet, my legs wrapping around his waist.
He sat us down near the table, his hand reaching up into my hair again, gripping my roots. Our tongues tangled as he freed my skirt from under me. I undid his belt and took him in my hands, then raised myself up on my knees. He moved my knickers to the side so I could position his stiffness against my dripping entrance and I let myself down.
A heavy moan flooded the room and he pulled me closer, my name falling off his lips. I held the back of his neck for support as I flicked my waist as he rubbed my clit in endless circles. I came first, my thighs feeling like noodles but he was far from done. He gripped my waist before he stood, laying me on the table. He pulled me towards the edge and started to stroke, deep. Every hard thrust forced me to another burning climax. I bit my lip feeling my mind go numb till my pussy gripped his dick and came hard and he soon followed. He gripped my waist till he bucked and came inside me, both of us breathless.
He lifted me off the table, falling back into the seat together. We stayed there for a while, catching our breaths. Neither one of us really willing to move. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my head resting on his shoulder.
"Promise me you won't sleep at the hospital anymore," he whispered.
I sighed, "John—"
"Please Anna," he said.
"Alright. I promise," I whispered and he hugged me tighter, letting out a sigh of relief.
I waited for things to calm down at the shop before going to see Tommy in his office and of course, John went with me.
"Anna, come in," he sighed, sitting down in his chair. "What's going on sweetheart?"
"Yesterday, I went to see my Dad again but every time I see him, he just keeps looking worse and worse."
"What do the doctors say?" He questioned, lighting his cigarette.
I shook my head. "They won't tell me anything. I'm sure it's my dad telling them not to but I need to know something. He's all that I have now but I'm sure he'll tell you."
"I understand, but keep in mind you have us now." He stood to his feet buttoning his jacket. "But I'll make time and go down there, try to figure out what I can."
I nodded. "Thank you, Tommy," I replied but as I turned to leave he called my name.
"Anna, before you leave," he said, clearing his throat and I turned to face him. "I want to invite you to a family occasion," he said and John looked to his feet. "I'm hoping you'll attend."
I smiled. "Of course."
"Benny," Tommy said as he made his grand entrance.
He smiled, trying his best to sit up. "It's good to see you. How you doing boys?"
Tommy pulled up a chair but John stood behind him with his hands in his pockets.
"I should be asking you," Tommy replied. "You look like shit and have your daughter worried about you."
He sighed, his bright smile fading. "I know she's worried."
"I heard she slept here last night," Tommy said.
"I begged her not too but that girl is just as hard-headed as her mother," he replied, trying to force a playful laugh.
"So what's going on Benny? Why won't the bloody doctors tell her anything?" Tommy questioned as he lit his cigarette.
He sighed even harder. "The truth is— I'm dying Tom —and I just don't have the heart to tell her. I just can't."
John shook his head and Tommy sighed looking to the ground. "Benny— she's your daughter—"
"I just can't Tom. I can't watch her fall apart like she did when her mother passed but I'm glad you're here. I wanted to give you this in person," he said, fishing a folded piece of legal paper from the inside of his robe pocket, giving it to Tommy. "I want you to have full control over everything I own, including Anna's dowry. It's not much but I want you to have it, give it to the man she marries."
Tommy opened it and sighed again, this time shaking his head. "The house and the car too, Benny? You should leave all this to Anna."
He shook his head as tears welled up in his eyes. "I can't. I don't want anyone taking advantage of her. I trust you and your family. I trust the Peaky Blinders, always have. I know she'll be alright in your care. Make sure she marries a good man who'll treat her right. Someone who can provide and protect her. But you can't tell her I'm doing this Tom."
"Benny, she's not a little girl anymore. She has a right to know," John said.
"I understand," he replied with a heavy heart. "But I'm glad I at least got to watch her grow up. I'm just sorry I'll miss the day she gets married and starts having children."
"Then at least give her the chance to treasure what time she has left with you eh? She deserves at least that," Tommy replied. "She's a good girl Benny. She deserves better than this."
"I know," he sighed. "Maybe you're right Tom."
Tommy tossed his cigarette the moment he reached outside. He looked up to the sky before letting out a heavy sigh as he shook his head. "Fuck," he whispered, closing his eyes. He then looked back at John and pointed at him. "Not a fucking word to Anna. You hear me? Not a fucking word," he warned.
John shook his head, pushing his hands in his slack pockets. "She deserves to know Tom."
"You're absolutely fucking right but Benny—," he said pointing to the hospital building, "Benny needs to be the one to fucking tell her."
"He's not going to. I see that look in his eyes. He fucking scared Tommy," John spat. "I've never seen that man scared."
"I know," Tommy sighed, putting his hands on his hips.
"Let me tell her then," John replied. "She'll take it better from me."
"John—"
"Someone has to fucking tell her Tommy! What's the fucking plan then, eh? Wait till the fucking funeral for her to find out everything?"
"No, that can't happen," Tommy sighed, shaking his head. "Just give me some time. Let me talk to Polly first."
"Alright Tommy, but whatever you two decide, you'd better do it fast. You saw that man. He doesn't have fucking long," John spat.
By the end of the last race, it was only me and Polly left to do the final count and the entire clean up. I went over the books while she handled the money but let's just say she wasn't too pleased about it.
"Those bastards left us with all the work again," Polly spat, stacking all the earnings of the night into the vault. "I think I need a bloody drink after this."
"Mind if I join you? I could use a drink myself."
"I hope you like Gin and Whiskey. That's all that's really good down at the Garrison. Everything else is cheap beer and watered-down rum," she smiled and we both giggled.
"It'll due. Father practically raised me on the stuff," I replied.
"How is your father doing?" She questioned as she stacked. "John told me you slept there last night."
"I'm still trying to figure it out myself," I sighed heavily and she shook her head. "All he keeps saying is that he's fine and that he doesn't want to worry me but I'm more worried just from not knowing anything. He's been there for weeks and no one will tell me why."
"He treats you just like he did your mother. It must've been hard when she passed," she replied. "Benny wasn't the same after."
"It's why I came back," I admitted. "The first few months were really hard on him. He hardly answered my letters and when he did it didn't seem like he was getting any better."
"I can't imagine— but a grown girl like you must want to get married and leave home, start a family," she replied, closing the vault and spinning the dial.
"One day but for now my father needs me. His health just isn't what it used to be whether he wants to admit it or not."
Sorry for the long delay. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
