Everything was different, everything was new, everything was still torture but a torture without so much pain. I don't know what happened while Manny was gone, I wish I did know, he makes me worry so much. The teachers always come after him, something is always his fault but I don't know what. What has made Roy feel obliged to put his son through this kind of punishment? I had hoped long ago through all his pettiness he would find it in his heart to let us go, I used to tell Harry to wait it out just a little bit longer. When the punishment got more physical, that's when I stopped that bullshit, I was not letting that man abuse his little boy. Unfortunately the teachers are smarter than they let on, it's impossible to make a plan that doesn't get foiled. I'm not even sure who these teachers really are, are they actual conscious beings or are they just puppets for Roy to control? I don't think I'll live to find out. I chuckled at that thought, I could possibly die here, Roy probably wouldn't hesitate to kill one of us if we got in the way. Anyways that's beside the point, I'm going off track here.
Manny and Lily wouldn't tell us what happened when they were with the cult, I initially thought it was from shock or that they didn't want to recount the horrible things that had happened but over time I felt like it was something else, something different, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I remember asking about the weird cuts on their arms, a simple circle that had been carved into their skin, but they never answered my queries. Harry told me to leave it and let them just forget about it but now I'm just bottling up these worries. I don't really know what to do now.
"Robin, are you okay?"
Harry walked into the room with two cups of tea, one for me and one for him. It was late at night again, about eleven o'clock I believe, and we were just sitting in the living room doing nothing. We've been having a lot late night chats recently, the most we've had in a while, and its been good, I've actually enjoyed them.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, taking one of the mugs from him.
"You sure? You seemed a little distant," he asked.
"Yep, just got distracted," I answered.
"You? Distracted? That's a first, you're usually very alert," Harry said.
"Well there are times when I just think about... stuff. You definitely know what that's like. If I had a penny for every time you said you were 'thinking about things'," I said, smirking at him.
"Yeah but you know why I think a lot,"he replied.
"The depression," the word left a bitter taste in my mouth, "you know you can talk to me."
"I know but I don't really have much to say. Nothing has really changed for me," Harry sat down in his chair.
"Really? I feel like everything's changed, it's weird," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well since the whole supposed 'sacrifice', I've been worried. In that pesky bees eyes, they're now married and if they try to snatch Lily again, they're gonna take Manny with them," I said.
"Ugh, that damn butterfly, one day I'm gonna beat the shit out of that prick," he said, frowning before looking up at me with a soft expression, "sorry, continue."
"It's... I don't bloody know anymore, it's just so scary sometimes and I know you told me not to worry about it but maybe worrying is all I'm good for. I mean, I act like a fucking mother duck whenever I'm around Manny, maybe that's what I'm meant to be like," I said, frustrated with myself and this stupid show, "that's all my character is if I'm being honest."
Harry just stared at me for a few seconds, his face expressionless, before holding his arm out to me.
"Come here," he said.
I sigh and walk over, feeling a little embarrassed by my little rant. I almost just collapse into him because of how tired I am, he just pulls me onto him without saying a word. We just cuddle up to each other like this is a thing we do everyday. I do love Harry a lot and he tells me he loves me back all the time, I feel like that's the only real thing left here.
"I don't want you to worry too much, you always care so much about other people but you never show that amount of love to yourself," Harry said.
"I don't need to, this whole place is just devoid of hope, anything I try to show is meaningless," I reply.
"Robin, it's not meaningless, it's worth something at least. I think we all need to start liking ourselves a bit more," he said.
"Okay, Bono," I chuckled, holding him closer to me.
We just sat in silence for a while, just listening to the quiet around us. I didn't know what to feel about myself, I was confused as fuck. Harry was right about me caring too much for everyone else, I'm always checking over Manny and keeping up with Harry's mental state, I've never taken my own health into consideration. I should try that sometime.
"Harry?"
"Mhm?"
"I love you," I said.
"Love you too, mother duck," he replied.
"Hey! Don't call me that!" I said.
"You literally just said it was your 'character' so I might as well call you that," he replied, grinning at me.
"Drink your tea, you big sappy idiot," I said, covering my face. I can't believe he just called me that.
I start to climb down but he holds onto my waist, stopping me from moving.
"You can't leave just yet," he whispered into my ear.
I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he wanted.
"Let go of me, Harry," I said.
"Nope," he replied.
"What's gotten into you tonight? Usually I have to ask if I can kiss you but now you're begging me," I said.
"I'm frustrated," he said.
"About what?" I asked.
"It's a long list."
"And now I've decided that I don't want to know."
I squirmed about, trying to free myself but it was no use, he was way stronger than me. I eventually give up.
"Okay fine," I sigh.
I kiss him and to be honest I'm glad I did because it made me feel a little bit better. Harry always makes me feel a little bit better. I pull away after a while and get up, waking back to my rocking chair. I could tell he wanted more but I was so bloody tired that I couldn't give him anymore.
"Sorry, I'm just tired," I said.
"No it's fine, I shouldn't have pushed it," he replied.
"Well, it made me feel better I guess," I said, smiling a little.
He smiled at me as well, he was obviously a bit cheerier than usual. I don't really know how we ended up like this, it was a spur of the moment. We've been keeping this relationship a secret from Manny because we want it to be our thing for now. I'm pretty sure the love cult will be against it and try to kill us so I think being quiet about it is for the best. Maybe we'll tell him once we're out of this hell hole.
I take a sip of my tea, trying to keep myself awake. I may as well go to bed now, I've said everything I needed to say.
"I think I might go to bed now," I yawned, slowly getting up once again.
"Good idea, I'll come up in a bit," Harry said.
"Need some time to yourself?" I asked, walking over to the stairs.
"Yeah, I won't be long though."
"Okay, goodnight, Harry," I said walking up stairs.
I've never felt this tired before, usually it's very hard for me to sleep. I always have to get up in the middle of the night because I can't sleep at all. I look over at Manny's bed and see him and Lily both sound asleep, holding onto each other. Lily has been with us for a few days now, she's settled in but she doesn't talk now, not like how she did before. She used to be very open about all the horrible things that happened to her, sometimes I'd be so shocked by how brutal it all sounded, I'm surprised she survived all of it. We've done as much as we can for her and she does seem to be grateful though we don't know for sure.
I pretty much just fall into bed, I don't bother getting changed, I just want to sleep. As I slowly drift off, I hear someone whisper by my bedside table.
"Looks like someone's sleepy..."
