His first few days back had been difficult, it took time for him to adjust to the new house and his new timetable and he was stressed. Harry had always hated change, it was a concept he found extremely difficult to grasp and today was no exception. He had been late to a few of his lectures already, he could tell that his lecturers weren't happy with him at all. It was his second year back after all, he should know all this by now, he should know where his classes are, he should know what to do. Harry felt the pressure being mounted on his shoulders and since he found out about the baby growing inside his sisters stomach (the father of the baby was unknown and had probably done a runner), he knew he would have to step up to help look after his little niece or nephew, he didn't know if he could that. He tried to keep that smile on his face for his family, that tough persona for his friends when inside he felt like nothing, he felt like a hollow husk and it was slowly killing him.
"Oi, Harry!"
He sighed and opened up the door to his room, his buddy Micheal was standing outside, leaning against the wall.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"Me and the lads are gonna be heading to a party later, you wanna come?" Micheal said.
"I dunno, who's party?"
"Just some rando, it's gonna be a big one."
Harry thought about it for a second and shook his head a little as he formed his answer in his head.
"First of all, that's what she said, second, I'm not really interested," he replied.
Micheal chuckled at his response then pouted at the refusal.
"Come on, mate, it'll be a laugh!" Micheal said.
"I'm busy, I've got work to do and I need to call Vi later to see how she's doing," Harry said.
"Ah yes, the famous older sister, the one I've heard so much about over the past few months," Micheal said, folding his arms over his chest in a laid back manner, "so what the hell happened to her?"
"What do you mean?" he asked his friend.
"You keep calling her to 'make sure she's okay', somethings going on."
Harry considered not telling Micheal about his sisters pregnancy but actually found no harm in it, his family did like Micheal after all and probably wouldn't have an issue with him knowing.
"All I'm saying is that I'm gonna be an uncle," he said, letting the sentence hang in the air for a few seconds.
"WHAT?" Micheal exclaimed, his eyes widening with shock.
Harry pulled out his phone and showed Micheal the picture of the scan, you could faintly see the shape of a hand and head through the slight blurriness.
"Okay, this definitely calls for a celebration!" he said.
"Remember, I've still got work to do," Harry replied, putting his phone away
"Stop being such a drag, Harry, what happened to the procrastinator I knew in first year?"
"I've already gotten in trouble this week," he answered.
"If you won't do it for me then do it for Violet, she can't have a real drink for a few months now."
Harry laughed at this and sighed, finally admitting defeat.
"Fine, I'll come but don't expect me to stay for long and definitely don't expect me to drink too much, one of us has to be sober," he said, "I'll go get my shoes."
"I'll go tell the others!" Micheal said, running off before Harry could even respond, "trust me mate, this party's gonna be a banger!"
They had all managed to congregate in their usual group of 5, Harry of course being one of them alongside Micheal, his friend Tina, Bonnie and Carl. Harry had met Micheal, Tina and Carl in his first year but he had known Bonnie for years now, since they were about 13. All the friends were quite different from each other but that was what drew them together, those small characteristics sticking out as perfect imperfections.
Micheal was a bit of a loud one, he was never afraid to voice his opinion which often led to him getting in trouble if he ever got into a disagreement with someone. He was a bit to brave for his own good and got into fights quite often which Harry usually had to break up, he never enjoyed doing that. The guy was funny though and that's why Harry liked to hang around him, he had a good sense of humour.
Tina was like Micheal except she tried (and failed) to stay out of confrontation, she was loud and bit bossy. Their lecturers weren't particularly fond of Tina as she always managed to cause an uproar in lectures when she disagreed with something, she was lucky that she was still in this uni. She was, however, a nice person and great fun to be around as she always had new ideas and things to do.
Bonnie had been Harry's friend since year nine, they met during a history lesson and had been inseparable ever since. Harry had even aimed to get into the same uni as her just so they could stay together, they were so close. Bonnie was a quiet girl, she never liked to talk over other people so it was a little rare to hear her speak in a conversation, maybe that was what drew him to her, her silence. Of course, once she had a drink or two in her she got way more chatty and giggly but Harry liked it when she spoke as well, she always looked so confident when she was a little drunk, like she was in control of her life.
Carl was a... confusing one, he seemed to mix between talkative and quiet, he had an even balance between both. Harry wasn't complaining, he think their group needed a balanced person, otherwise it would just collapse and they'd get into repetitive arguments. Carl always seemed to be plotting something though, he had a look that screamed mischief, it was embedded deep into his eyes. Harry had to admit that he rather fancied Carl but he never said anything as his friend had a girl friend at the moment and seemed rather happy to be with her, he didn't want to interfere with that.
Harry had all these wonderful friends, these people with personality and colour, while he saw himself to be rather boring and disappointing, the black and white picture in all of this. No one ever saw him as much else rather than Harry, the bloke who always looked sad, he was usually told otherwise but whenever he had a conversation with someone their smiles would falter when he started to speak in his bland, monotonous tone. Harry tended to hate that part of him as he was so much more than the shell he portrayed. He knew there were times where his voice held emotions and his face held something other than a straight expression, one of those times was when his sister first announced that he was going to be an uncle. He of course had been excited inside but never realised he was showing that excitement on the outside when his sister mentioned.
"You should smile like that more often," Violet said, pointing at his face.
"What?" he replied, looking at her confused.
"You're smiling, Harry, and you sound excited," she said, smiling back.
Harry lifted his hand to his face to confirm that this was real, he was smiling, something that was such a rarity to see.
"You're right," he said, his voice breaking a little, "I'm smiling because I'm happy for you, Vi."
"And I'm smiling because I'm happy for you too," Violet responded, hugging him gently.
Harry hadn't smiled once since then, he was saving it for the day the his sister's little one was born, he wanted their first sight of him to be one of happiness, not one of blandness.
"So, Carl, what the fuck did you do last night? From what I've heard, you weren't home," he heard Tina say.
"I was spending time with Maylee," Carl answered, frowning in confusion.
"So you fucked then?"
Micheal, who had been walking next to Harry, paused and snorted at the question, trying not to laugh out loud. Tina raised her eyebrows at him while Bonnie looked on in disappointment and Carl looked mildly amused. Harry didn't know how to feel about the question, he liked Carl a lot but knew he had no chance with him, he was just unlucky to have fallen for a straight guy. Harry still wasn't sure where he sat on the spectrum and the only person who knew about it was Bonnie, she knew he had feelings for guys and tried to help him find himself but it wasn't as easy as it looked. Harry was constantly in denial about who he was due to his anxiety, one moment he was adamant that he was gay then he was doubting himself the next, he thought more of expectations rather than what he felt was right and when he felt that he didn't fit the usual gay stereotype, he started to think that his feelings were dumb and wrong. That was another part of himself that he hated, the denial and anxiety.
Suddenly, Michael burst out laughing after a few moments of silence, let his loud crackles echo through the streets. Harry watched as his friend collapsed to the ground in a fit of giggles and rolled around. Tina frowned and pulled him up, glaring at him for his ridiculous little show. Bonnie was also glaring at him but also at Tina.
"Tina, that question was a bit unnecessary," she said.
"And? I need some kind of answer," Tina replied.
Carl cleared his throat to grab their attention then grinned a little.
"Yes, Tina, we fucked," he smirked.
Tina smiled and punched Micheal, who looked rather shocked, in the back, laughing as she fell to the floor.
"You owe me a bag of chips now!" she exclaimed.
"God damn it!" Micheal slapped the ground in annoyance as he quickly stood back up.
"What's going on?" Bonnie asked.
"Yesterday, me and 'im," Tina patted him on the back, wincing as he nudged her harshly in the side, "we made a bet and I just won that bet. Now he has to buy me a bag from the chippy."
"Why am I not surprised?" Bonnie said, walking away.
"Because they're both so predictable," Carl responded, walking with her.
Harry followed them, feeling neutral about the situation. At first he felt disappointed to know about what Carl had done the night before but he lightened up a little when he saw the look of triumph of Tina's face after she won the bet. That was a good sign, a sign that he was moving on and he felt a little happy with himself.
Bonnie slowed a little until she was strolling alongside Harry and smiled proudly at him.
"How's Vi doing then?" she asked him.
"She's doing great, I actually need to call her later," he answered.
"My best friends gonna be an uncle! This is so exciting!"
"I know, I'm just as excited as you are. I may not show it well but-"
"You show it amazingly Harry, no doubt about it," she cut him off.
"Whatever you said Bons," he said.
"You know I'm right though," she replied, pausing for a second to glance at Carl, "so how do you feel then?"
Knowing what she was talking about, Harry simply shrugged at the question.
"Not that much really, if he's happy then I'm fine with him and Maylee being together," he answered.
"That's good, Harry, you're finally moving past it," Bonnie patted his shoulder, "You're doing well."
"Thank you, I guess," he replied.
"Harry, I know you'll find someone someday, you are an amazing person and there will be a person out there," she reassured him.
"I know, you tell me that all the time," he said.
"Cause it's true, Harry, I have no reason to lie to you."
Harry sighed and continued to walk a little behind Carl, he didn't want to respond to that. It's not that he doubted her words, he just doubted himself too much, he was adamant that he wasn't going to find anyone who liked him for him. He just didn't know how wrong he was...
They all arrived at the party and immediately went for the drinks with Micheal getting there first to claim beers for everyone before they all disappeared. Harry took his drink reluctantly from Micheal as they all looked for a place to set up camp for the next hour or so. They used that time to look around the house which was massive, Harry didn't know who lived there but whoever it was they must be pretty loaded.
"Jesus Christ, look at this!" Tina called over to them as she walked into one of the many large rooms.
A bunch of people glanced at her with annoyance as her loud voice echoed through the room, she just glared but at them for giving her the evil eyes.
"This place is fucking huge," she said.
Luckily the music drowned her words out a little as it started to play. Harry winced as he heard what song came on, he didn't like it at all. He was expecting this, a party filled with drunk idiots and shitty music, not his favourite but he could deal with it for now.
"You're right, Tee," Carl said, that smirk still on his face, "you do have eyes."
"Oh shut up, you smug faced bitch!" she replied, sticking her tongue out at him.
Harry still didn't know how he was friends with these people but he wasn't complaining, it kept things in his life interesting and as a whole made him look more interesting.
The group settled by a large window and just chatted as the music played in the background, some cheesy 2000's pop music which Harry didn't like that much.
"So, Bonnie, I saw you chatting with a lad from crim earlier," Carl said.
"Me? A pigs wife? Never!" Bons replied, mocking offense.
"Don't deny it, you were both making googly eyes earlier."
"I'm horrified by these accusations, Carl, absolutely horrified," she said.
"Which crim lad are we on about?" Micheal asked.
"The lone wolf dipshit... Uh, Parker! That guy," Carl said.
"Wait, that guy does criminology? I thought he did some cringy poetry shit or whatever," he replied.
"Nah, he definitely does crim, saw him talking with one of the profs from the department, pretty sure he went on the trip to America as well."
"And Bonnie was chatting with 'im?"
"Yep, they got a little close as well," Carl said.
"Ooo, Bons, looks like you' ve got yourself a pig," Tina wrapped an arm around her friends shoulder.
"Oh at least I didn't fuck someone who's gonna be an accountant, at least being a police officer keeps you on the edge of your seat," she said, glaring at Carl.
"Only saying what I saw, you were snuggling up with a future dick head."
"He's not that bad, you just gotta get to know him a bit."
"We'll see," Carl replied.
Harry zoned out of the conversation after that, feeling a little less happy about his decision to go out. It felt less like a celebration for him and more like a fun night out for his mates. He didn't know how to react to that, it upset him but what could he say? He couldn't just voice that emotion to them as that would be rude and it would ruin the whole night.
"I would like to call a toast!" Micheal suddenly said.
Harry looked up at him in surprise and gave him a weak smile as his friend held his drink up and began his little speech.
"To Carl, for having a much more active sex life than any of us."
Carl held his own cup up, another small smirk playing on his face.
"To Tina, for winning a bag of chips just because she trusted her gut which told her Carl actually had a sex life."
Tina grinned and held up her drink.
"To Bonnie, for finding herself a lad who may or may not be a future dick head."
Bonnie rolled her eyes and joined them.
"To me for being an absolutely fabulous friend even though I act like a right prat."
They all quietly agreed with him, snickering at his self-deprecating joke.
"And to Harry, for getting his shit together and acting like a grown-up. And for being an amazing uncle."
Harry awkwardly raised his drink up and the cups all met in the middle with a small clink.
"Yeah now we gotta hope this one don't get his bird knocked up, don't think I can deal with being another kids side uncle," Micheal said, receiving a small punch from Carl.
Tina and Bonnie erupted into a fit of giggles while Harry looked on, a little amused by the situation. He sighed and stood up.
"Need a smoke," he said to them as he walked away.
He spotted an empty balcony and stood outside, reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. He lit on up and just breathed in the smoke, letting the fumes calm him down. He didn't even know why he felt stressed right now, he should be having a good time with his shit-faced friends but he wasn't enjoying himself at all, he felt like an outcast. He hated that he couldn't really have a nice time due to his constant anxiety, he was terrified of being a disappointment and that hung on him constantly. He felt like everyone would be better off without him, he was just a dead weight.
Harry was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice someone appear behind him until he heard their voice.
"Oh s-sorry, didn't realise you were out here."
He turned to see a short green duck standing there, looking like he was about to shit himself. He was neatly dressed, wore glasses over his beak and had a red bow tie round his neck.
"I'll just g-go," the duck stuttered, turning to leave.
"No, it's fine, you can stay. Could probably do with a bit of company," Harry replied.
"You're here alone?"
"No but my friends are getting absolutely shit-faced in there and at least one of us has to drive home."
The duck chuckled quietly and walked over to stand next to Harry.
"What about you?" Harry asked.
"Oh! Uh... G-got ditched so I'm not with a-anyone," he answered.
"Ditched, huh? That sucks."
"Y-Yeah it really does," he replied.
Harry was intrigued by this guy, he seemed really out of place in the crowd of people, he seemed more timid and quiet, not like anyone else he knew. He definitely wasn't the kind of person to go to parties so Harry wondered why he was here and who he came with.
"What's your name?" he asked, holding his hand out to the duck.
"Robin."
Robin reached out and took hold of Harry's hand, reluctantly shaking it.
"I'm Harry, nice to meet you."
"Likewise," Robin smiled, feeling a little more comfortable around his new friend.
Harry slowly let go of him, the missing weight of the ducks hand noticeable, am emptiness that he didn't really like that much.
The song playing inside suddenly changed to one more familiar.
"Ugh, fucking finally, they put a good song on," Harry said, nodding his head along with the beat.
"You like Bowie?" Robin asked, "I thought I was the only one."
"People have forgotten the meaning of good music, they cling onto what they find 'relatable', it's pitiful sometimes," he replied.
"Though you can never truly forget Queen, they're a classic," the duck said.
"That's true but that's because our parents grew up listening to Queen, not because we listened to it."
"Complete opposite for me, my parents just hate any modern music," he said.
"Really? Their music tastes must be boring, what do they listen to? Mozart?" Harry was a little skeptical.
"That's exactly what the listen, it's boring as hell, that's for sure," Robin said, "I think they're stuck way in the past."
"Sounds like it, all the parents in my neighbourhood would be blasting a bit of 'We Are The Champions' down the street," Harry chuckled at the memory of neighbours playing loud music in their gardens during the summer, "so when did you first start listening to them?"
"A few months back before I went to uni, March I think."
"So you're a late bloomer then?"
"Well yeah, my parents are obsessed with Tchaikovsky and resent anything that's not got piano in it," Robin laughed awkwardly at the conversation, not really understanding why he was talking about his homophobic parents to a stranger. He felt a weird sense of security when around Harry, like he was safe, so he trusted him for the moment.
"Lord, sounds like absolute shit," his red friend replied, looking at him with sympathy before promptly changing the subject, "so I'm guessing you're a newbie to the uni?"
"I got here a few weeks ago and have pretty much hidden in the campus since, I'm not good in social situations," Robin answered.
"That's what I did for most of my first year, I live in a house with some of my friends now so I guess I've gotten a bit better," Harry said.
"I came here with one of my roommates so I obviously had it coming, he's been acting like a prick right from the start and I should have known better," Robin felt dumb for even trusting his roommate, who had run off with a gang and was probably doing some kind of drugs right now. He wasn't excited to get back to his room.
"It's not your fault if he was being a dick head... and anyways, you seem to be doing way better without him," Harry said.
"I guess you're right."
"I mean, you could always come and talk to my mates, I'm sure they wouldn't mind someone else joining the group." Harry offered the duck.
"I wouldn't want to intrude though."
"You wouldn't be. Also I think they'd like you."
"Me?" Robin squeaked in surprise.
"They're pretty chill and patient, they have been with me for a while now, I was never one to really talk a lot," Harry said.
"O-Okay then, I'd be happy to meet them," Robin sounded unsure but felt rather confident about this, he could trust Harry.
"Let's go then," Harry flicked the long burnt-out cigarette away and motioned Robin inside.
They made their way back to his mate who were surprisingly not drunk yet, in fact they were only half way through their second beers, it was as if they had been waiting for him to come back. This small gesture made him smile just a little. Tina waved them over, looking a bit confused by the new addition to the group. The others looked up and greeted the two.
"I was wondering why you were taking so long, thought you were smoking the entire pack out there," Micheal said.
Harry stood their awkwardly, a little embarrassed by his habit which he didn't see breaking any time soon.
"So you gonna introduce us or anything?" Tina questioned, looking between the pair.
"Oh, this is Robin, he got ditched so I said he could hand with us," Harry said.
"H-Hi," the duck stuttered.
Bonnie was the first to step forward and shake his hand, giving him a friendly grin.
"I'm Bonnie," she said.
The others quickly followed after her.
"Carl."
"I'm Tina."
"Names Michael."
Harry could see Robin relax a little and return the handshakes. They then quickly struck up a conversation and the new friendship started from there.
Bonnie watched her Harry and Robin chat to each other after exchanging numbers, for the first time she saw something flicker in her friends eyes as he talked to the duck about culture, she saw happiness in his eyes. That made her happy too, she was glad to see Harry find someone so like him and was happy to see something other than sadness or depressed brooding take over his mind. Things were changing, she could tell.
Tina leaned forward and lowered her voice so they wouldn't hear.
"So, what do you bet that they're gonna fuck before final year?" she whispered.
"You and your bets," Bonnie sighed.
"Come on, this is a perfect opportunity and I'm seizing it!" Tina replied in defense.
"Just leave them be."
"This one time Bonnie please."
"Oh, fine then, I'll join this one but that means I'm not a part of anything else," she agreed, sighing as Tina excitedly clapped her hands together.
"So what we betting then?" Micheal, who had been listening in, leaned towards them.
"I'm going for after final year," Bonnie said.
"Really? I think it would be during uni," Carl replied, getting in on the bet, "I'll say during final year."
"End of this year then," Micheal decided.
"Are you guys serious? I'm gonna say... in the next few months," Tina said.
"When you say 'the next few months' what does that mean?"
"Before christmas break," she said triumphantly.
This bold statement made Bonnie spit the last few drops of her second beer back into her cup, only just avoiding choking on the drink. She couldn't believe her ears.
"Christmas break? Jesus fucking Christ, Tina, they're not bloody rabbits!" she said, coughing a little.
"You can't change my mind!" Tina replied, crossing her arms.
"Okay, okay but that's a very bold bet, don't be a sore loser if you don't win," she said.
"And on that note of winning, whats the winner gonna get from the losers?" Carl asked.
"Something from the chippy obviously," Tina said.
"Okay, it's the winners choice as well," Bonnie said.
"Oh, add a couple drinks in there as well," Micheal chipped in.
"And some drinks," she wrote it down on a napkin she had found then stuffed it into her pocket as the two friends approached the rest of the group.
"Uh Robin's gonna head off now so I'm gonna go with him to make sure he gets there," Harry said.
"Okay that's cool," the others said.
Bonnie had been looking after Harry's stuff and quickly handed it to him with a big, stupid grin on her face. He gave her a weird look, confused by the smile because he knew she wasn't drunk just yet.
"What're you so happy about?" he asked quietly.
"Oh nothing, I'm just smiling away," she answered, "we'll see you later okay?"
"Bye Bons," he said, walking off with Robin.
Bonnie kept that smile on her face as she watched them leave, that feeling of happiness for her friend filling her mind with sweetness, she knew she was overthinking it but she could see the faint trace of genuine love in Harry's eyes and knew that it was going to work. She didn't even care about losing the bet, she just wanted to see her best friend happy again and she could tell that moment was incredibly close now. Of course, she wasn't going to tell the others, something like that didn't need to be shared.
"If I win this bet tonight, then I'm officially the Queen of betting," Tina said, still incredibly confident about the whole ordeal.
"Don't get your hopes up, Tee, the lad's a slow burner when it comes to relationships," Carl said, "you gave him barely any time to decide for himself."
"I didn't do anything! It's just a harmless bet!"
"So, you won't mind losing for once," Bonnie said.
"I would... but I'll keep my trap shut," she replied, thinking about Harry's own feelings for a second.
"Good, now we just gotta wait," Micheal said.
Bonnie looked out the window to see the two walking away from the house together in conversation, probably talking about the star wars films or something. She smiled as they left together, unable to keep the grin from growing as she saw them laugh and blush a little. Harry had finally found the one, she just knew it...
